I Feel Guilty About Spending Money!
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2.2 million at the age of 42âŠguy is absolutely killing it great job man đȘđŸ
He was just praying Dave asked him what his income and net worth were so he could flex.
I use to wonder how insanely wealthy people always want more and more money. A lot of them grew up from tough backgrounds and absolutely don't want any chance of going back.
I have the same problem. Every time I want to buy myself something, I pace the item back in itâs place. All I can hear is BUDGET BUDGET BUDGETâŒïž
I wish my wife would catch a mild case of his affliction.
You want your wife to be a responsible adult. Good luck.
@WT K đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
â@@djpuplex right on queue. Still haven't gone to therapy?
đđđđđđ
Same hereâŠ
Short term fix, go on an all inclusive vacation. You pay upfront, which hurts. Then the entire trip is easy and you can relax.
Me too..100% debt free, and I hate spending money. I've had so many times where I've abandoned the shopping cart. I totally understand this.
Same!
when is it ok to spend money?
@@markhale6105 I really don't know. These days, I pretty much spend money on gas for the car and things that are needed for the house (i.e. cleaning supplies, light bulbs, etc.). I think I'm allergic to the mall and department stores. My wife has to drag me to Target or Walmart. So I don't buy clothes or gadgets for myself.
I am 47 and I cry nervous, guilty tears every time I buy anything over 100 dollars. I just bought myself a winter jacket worth 90 dollars and I felt so ashamed, because I already have a 14-year-old winter jacket. There's not much wrong with it, it can still work. And guess what. We're not fucking poor! And for ten million times I had to listen to my mother tell me NO, we don't have money... We were never fucking poor!
I just can't get out of it. The anxiety, the shame. The guilt. The wastefulness. The idea of having two parkas - because you can freaking bet I am NEVER throwing the old one away ...
I feel like I betray myself and my goal of escaping the rat race when I spend money.
Good, then you will escape sooner. This guy is not in the race anymore.
me too
I really appreciate dave growing and learning from Dr. Delony. It really makes him more well-rounded in his logic to help people.
Whew, I'm there too. Ive worked so hard to be debt free and we r less than a year away from that goal. I dread spending money, esp on food (and the costs have gone up so quickly) which is our biggest expense. I have to give myself a pep talk before going in the grocery store. It's def a fear driven emotion.
Buy some seeds and plant a % of your food.
Itâs a fear NOT guilt!! Thank you
Absolutely EXCELLENT episode. Resonated with me, although I don't have that kind of money. Fear, not guilt.
I am the same. I grew up with parents that were financially irresponsible. Mine were the same as Jadeâs parents. I will wear clothes and drive vehicles until they are falling apart. And we have money to buy new! My husband and I are debt free but I wonât buy things just to save money. My husband will force me to buy things! I agree with Dave and Jade! Thanks for bringing up this topic!
As someone who has majorly screwed up financially, and was nearly evicted from my apartment, I'm feeling this as well. I spent $10 today on medication for my anxiety (as it has gotten really, really bad), and I felt guilty about spending that, as I'm trying to find another part-time job, in addition to my current full time job to make ends meet, eventually pay back my brother for my rent, still feeling horrible about wasting money right and left, need a fresh start, feeling that mybrother is pissed at me, feeling that I need a fresh start, etc. It totally sucks.
@@janetslater129 you can do it Janet. It took me 11 years to get out of debt and financially well off. It was a lot of hard work, but so worth it. Keep looking forward and work hard! God Bless!
That's because you know what it's like to lose it all
Experience is a great thing ainât it
Yep.
That was amazing to hear it is fear not guilt. I am 69 and have this problem. I have always called it guilt. This gives me much to think about.
I always hated vacations. I always thought about how much I'm spending and all the chores I could be getting done around the house. I'm a really fun guy.đ
I've never liked vacations either.
đ€Ł
Even worse if you put the vacation on credit card or spend on it when that much more could have gone towards debt. Makes me miserable lol.
Jade nailed it 100% when I was a kid I remember my mom saying we had no money and dads business was struggling and it made a long lasting impact and I am in similar position as Chris. I am not nearly as bad as Chris but way more frugal than we need to be. It for sure is fear issue and not a guilt issue.
Same here, my we had everything growing up but my mom was very frugal , so was my dad but he also was like F this and would go buy boats, motorhomes and
my mom would just be so mad .
There is no such thing as too frugal and for Jade & Dave to say otherwise is extremely irresponsible and immature of them. I would expect better from them.
I get those same feelings everyday
Thanks Dave for explaining it to me
He has worked the save muscle all along and now he needs to work the spend muscle. It takes a mindset change to go from saving to spending.
I needed this reminder as a recent young widow with an increased fear /anxiety, even though I have no debts.
The brokest people don't feel broke. Spend the most. Then womder why they broke. Rich people do the opposite.
Yeahhhh I know millionaires walking around in shorts flip flops and a ten dollar white Hanes shirt.
@@adamr.kalucki4347 Adam Sandler
Another great example that there is no such thing as financial peace! There is only one way to experience peace and it's not money (or building wealth)
there's until you buy stuff without looking at price. maybe $50M
Oh I totally get where this caller is coming from
In this life we are always on the concerning mode⊠If we dont have enough money we are in fear to save up for a better future also if we have enough money we are still anxious about possible failure and lose everything. Life is difficult!
Enjoy life and go outside. Time is important especially with your family.
To the caller; I hate spending money too. I do believe in saving money, cooking at home but, I had to be logical and understand that I can't take it with me when I pass away. Therefore, I should enjoy what I work for. Being fearful of spending on things or experiences that had me missing out on living the life that I want.
So much to unpack here. Very useful talk. Thinking it through.
Great conversation here. My folks were this way and I am this way too. I'll spend huge on investments but have difficulty even buying running shoes.
This is real and raw. Thanks.
I'm frugal also but If I know I'm going to use it that helps me definitely justify the purchase and if I see I don't use something much anymore I'll sell it as I hate clutter.
So true!!
Nothing wrong with that
I used to be like this gentleman.
Pinched very penny on the smallest purchases because I was recovering from losing all of my money due to debt and other life crises. I was afraid to lose it all again so I hardly spent my money. Now that Iâm financially stable I realized itâs okay to spoil yourself once in a while because life is too short and tomorrow is never promised. Believe me some people save so much only to end up dying before retirement age. Iâve seen it first hand, so just enjoy life. Everything cost money. Itâs inevitable.
A lot of things don't cost a dime.
â@@pauljensen4773 Everything costs money.
@@ClaxtonBay123 how much money it cost to take a walk, or gather pine needles in a forest, or hunt for truffles or wild mushrooms, or take a drink of water, or swim in a lake or ocean, or have a nice conversation with a friend, or take a nap, or make a friend, or watch people work or watch people live, or to learn something new?
Yes sir, my Granfather worked for GM most of his adult life. When all his buddies retired they all had a pile of money. Almost everyone of them died within 4 to 5 years after they retired. Thatâs what I tell my wife sometimes and she thinks Iâm crazy when I tell her tomorrow isnât guaranteed. Letâs have some fun now.
No no you had it correct before. If youâre not scared youâre doing it wrong.
I love calls like this, this is the end zone for me. Until then, gotta keep running the play.
Iâm the opposite. Iâve dug myself out of debt and then stuff keeps happening so I have to use my emergency fund. So as soon as I replenish it I go back to spending because I want to enjoy life. Iâm on 4,5,6. Starting to pay off house very soon.
Wonderful Job Chris. I am the same way . I look at Mortorhomes that are around 150k then i talk myself out of them, then i looked at corvettes, again, talked mysef out of one. Now i just golf more, fish more and help others and have the nicest yard and garden in the entire city.
Iâm same way no debt .. solid salary and hate spending $ on things to treat my self
It pains me to spend anything on myself, but not when it's on others. It's definitely guilt, not fear.
I wish my husband would catch a mild case of his affliction
I needed this today.
I really appreciate Daveâs advice here.
His âfactsâ are wrong here. 200,000 is 10% of 2mil, not 1%. How did nobody catch this??
I feel the same way. All debts have been paid off.
Heâs killing it, truly happy for him. Scared to spend a $100 dollars making 275k a yr. hah!!!! Good problem to have.
My parents and one grandparent had that problem. They were all frugal people, had gone through the great depression, etc. Spending money just wasn't comfortable. My grandmother wasn't rich, but she was well off, and she wouldn't make herself a baked potato because "it takes so much money to heat up the oven". This is a woman that kept $50K in her checking account because she didn't want to accidentally get an overdraft charge (yes, I know that was dumb money but you couldn't change her mind and it was her money after all). My parents weren't as bad but there were things they didn't do and financially could certainly have done. I'm trying to split that difference and remain frugal but not be afraid to spend on things that do matter to me.
I wonât heat up the oven for one potato, either, and the toaster oven isnât effective for baking a potato.
@@genxx2724 Myrtle? Is that you? ;) Kidding aside I can see where if you are working to keep expenses down (or just don't like baked potatoes that much) using the stove efficiently makes sense. But she'd paid her dues so to say. She could have burned hundred dollar bills to fuel the stove and her bank balance wouldn't have noticed it. It's a shame she didn't get more enjoyment out of all the sacrifices she and her husband had made over their lives.
I'm also this guy but it's not fear for me, it's laziness. My mentality is spend as little as possible work as little as possible to the point of I'd live in a trailer home if it means I could still live on 20-30 hours a week. đ€·
They both gave great advice. One thing I may have added would've been for Chris to allot some more money to his 'blow' budget. In fact, in his situation he could stipulate that he 'has to' spend that money as this would help to develop that spending muscle sensibly and responsibly.
I hate the feeling of spending money but even more so the feeling of not spending money. I was conditioned to save, never to Spend. For me I have to learn how to deal with that feeling now!! Iâm trying to spend by buying things for others and watching the joy it brings them. Maybe someday I can buy myself something?
Are there any more videos on this subject? I'd love to learn more. I'm not super well off financially but I'm not poor either. Hoping to buy a house in the next year so I can be done with renting. But I feel such anxiety about becoming poor again.
I think the caller may also do good in giving, maybe a donation to a church or non-profit group, perhaps St. Jude or somthing. Practice spending by giving. Feel good by it.
I hate taking money from my saving account. I solved it by having a âfunâ-account where I put a little money every month and just consider those money already spent like youâve just paid a bill. That way the anxiety donât kick in when I use money from that account and I have full control over my budget.
The key is having a REASONABLE budget for your current financial situation. Having only $2.2M is not abundance yet. However, he can spend more than he would have at zero net worth or $1M net worth. At his age I had less but as I grew older and wealthier, I methodically grew my Give Spend budget at a rate proportionate to my passive income growth.
Reasonable is being as frugal as possible until youâve hit abundance and then reaching that next level of discipline into still restraining yourself. One wrong step will completely ruin you, so donât take the gas off the pedal.
Dave says steps 4-6 are a marathon not a sprint. I say thatâs a crock.
@@AnimatedIdiotGuide ok your method will grow your finances faster but you need to balance your money with stress and health as you age.
Good. You always should. For Jade & Dave to proclaim that you shouldnât is immature. If youâre not scared, youâre doing it wrong.
Money trauma.
This is so true
He either grew up poor or he doesn't have a financial goal or his goal is too aggressive. Some people pursuing FIRE have such an aggressive savings goal they are like this. Set a reasonable goal and allot for these expenses.
I picture people deeply in debt feel the same way about this caller as obese people trying to diet feel about anorexics.
Iâm working to have this same problem one day soon, lol!
Thats exactly how i feel.
Spending money feels selfish to me. I canât get past that feeling. Or if I do spend on something I want, something will break at home 10 minutes later and Iâll wish I hadnât spent that money.
You do not need to manufacture a fear pathology for yourself to be successful saving money and being smart and disciplined. I understand that circumstances cause that for some, but if you arenât in dire circumstances you do not have to create an environment of terror to win. Donât put that attitude on a pedestal.
I guarantee he is not on a budget. Budgets work both ways. It gives you permission to spend. If he and his wife put a budget together, they will have money for saving, money for date nights, money for enjoying nice things. He can do the math and see how wealthy that are now and are going to be if they follow the budget. Facts are your friends. He will know that this big item heâs looking at paying for is in the budget and is not going to make them broke. Theyâre going to be alright.
Or he does and he (rightly) decided heâs too immature to waste on himself. He has the correct mentality but Dave & Jade didnât wanna vibe with that đ€·ââïž not their call tho they donât get to choose the vibes. Itâs the plan.
I get him , I grew up poor .
He needs to create a budget and have a designated amount for spending on different things, so he can start to relax about what they buy.
I need help budgeting
Budget for fun! As Rachel has said, THAT gives you permission to spend according to a reasonable plan. Pausing to consider a significant expense is good but don't let it paralize you with fear/guilt. Live life following your dreams/goals with an intentional plan via a budget to ensure you can relax knowing you are still on-track! Even vacations/experiences can be an investment in memories, which really can become invaluable and irreplaceable. Invest in things/activities/people in ways that bring you joy. You have worked diligently to earn this benefit, so don't let life's past baggage continue to burden you in this hard won chapter.
Because there would be no 'show'. The guy literally sounded like a kid. It is all fake and all about set up phone calls and replies. My friend callled in three times with a differnt story. Its kinda like the Maury Povich show.
@@meme-yc4ks there are plenty of people in the same situation though!
If you donât behave like you have less money, you may end up,with less money. Always be aware of spending.
It was satisfying turning the like count from 999 to 1K
Well this explains the horrible phone.
He have all this net worth, and all this income. And he have a problem with spend some money.
I really think he lied..I think he has debt
@@20maxilo Why?
He has to call a psychologist not Dave.
I think Dave was a better deal for him and a doctor wouldn't have known to give this advice.
Well from the study Dave has done. I'm sure that psychologist is in alot of debt. So in this case Dave, having gone through it and being a millionaire is the right one to give advice.
Wife and I still drive around 10k beaters. We're afraid to buy expensive cars.
To be fair tho expensive cars are dumb anyway. You just need something reliable enough to get you from A to B.
Sounds like a case of money having him and not the other way around.
I have 400k saved up and I'm freaking out.
Good problem to have tho!
Congrats! Keep going.
Donât like the plastic cup on the desk đą
If I was him I would be buying everything but I understand his point!
What would you be buying? This is often what I have a hard time understanding. I donât know what people spend all this money on.
My current net worth is -$28,626. I canât wait to look back at this very moment in my life when I make $1M
I want this guys problems lol
Best soft brag call of 2023 thus far!
Felt like a low key troll job to me.
This was the vibe I got as well. Some people need validation and a pat on the backđđ
Wow, interesting!
I want to hear this guy say "As God as my witness, he is broken in half!"
Thats what money is for, life is short and unpredictable.
Your body is responding to the trauma you went through with not having.
Get some help for your mental issues if you are serious is my answer.
Hi mate, my name is Steve and Iâm calling well messaging from Australia. Cut long story short. I have listened to endless videos and podcasts on fear with money and nobody puts a better than yourself and I feel that you could really help me and I could really get some insight Would a phone call be possible to arrange abroad. If so, I would be more than happy to cooperate with you to make this happen. It would be an honour to be able to express some concerns to. Cheers
People are in the same position as this guy, fear.... but from being laid off so many times
Well yeah if you're dependent on your income you should be afraid. This guy isn't.
@superblump87 Well, technically, he and his wife are still working. So if he wasn't dependent on his income, he wouldn't be working anymore, right?
@@YoPhocFays plenty of people work that don't need the money. It's called being productive. Change your perspective.
@@YoPhocFays
Wrong, I have free lifetime family healthcare.
I ask a lot of people why they still work, "I need healthcare."
@superblump87 um, you're talking to the person, I work, but I don't need to. I work and invest to create more wealth.
All I'm saying is that there are people that still fear loosing income eventhough their networth is over a million.
Don't be stupid. There are people fear loosing a job eventhough they are well off.
Life is uncertain, and we live in fear, irrespective of whatever amount of money we have.
On a side note, I respect calls where people are really working to get out of debt via the baby steps. Anyone whose net worth is > 1 M should be featured on Everyday Millionaires.
Where is this E D M's?
Everyday Millionaires channel has been dead for over a year.
âïžđ
He has a scarcity mindset still. Money is just a tool. Itâs literally just made out of recycled blue jean material. Itâs not to be worshipped, but to be used as any other tool in your tool box.
Probably the best one here, intelligently and wisely put
It's a tool that govt keeps making more of.
This is me
That girl is too much. Telling My Ramsey that hes doing good? You are frk kidding me.
Get some respect.
This call is about nothing. This guy needs serious therapy.
Marcenel Joseph it seemed to me that Dave was actually saying that dealing with what he and also the person on the phone has had to deal with in the past, that it was fairly normal behavior to feel what the guy feels, but that with time he can realize that he's basing his feelings on past problems rather than on the reality of today. So no, I doubt that the guy needs serious therapy. He might need a few sessions to get him going on the right track, but I don't see this as a "serious therapy" type need though.
It is a normal and real thing, not a needing therapy thing. Even some wealthy athletes and celebrities are uncomfortable spending large amounts of money, because they fear the gravy train will stop and they will end up back where they started. Internet is full of examples of well known riches to rags.
@@stevenporter863 đ
â@Steven Porter this guy's income is irrelevant due to his networth.
He's a tree?
paging dr. baloney..
Id buy me a lambo lol
@The Ramsey Show: I am like this guy, hate spending a dime. Spent $7k on a family vacation in April. It did not help one bit. I cringe every time we have to buy something. My wife hates me, does not want to deal with it anymore. We hav3 been sharing a car for over a year simply to save on car insurance.
The key is having a REASONABLE budget for your current financial situation. Having only $2.2M is not abundance yet. However, he can spend more than he would have at zero net worth or $1M net worth. At his age I had less but as I grew older and wealthier, I methodically grew my Give Spend budget at a rate proportionate to my passive income growth. For your marriages sake make a budget that includes passive income. If you have $1M cash, make sure it is in a high yielding investment.
Wow he has no problems great for him... but I don't want to hear this. I want to hear a person with an actual problem !!
Narcissist much? Just because you don't share his problem doesn't make it fake. Not every video is made for you.
here is what we call "Pathologically cheap"
Get some psychological help buddy. Living fearfully isnât living
The wife can't pay for her own vacation?
its a family brah..
First
This guy just called in to flex. Hate such people that just call in to show off.
not really, it is a real mental issue.
Maybe. Maybe not. I'm in the same situation as him.
No way. He didn't offer his net worth, until Dave asked for it. Further it is a real problem and common and I had it. So, I know. I suppose you think I'm flexing to you now.
â@HelloWorld-hb7yt he called to flex. He was hoping and praying Dave asked him his net worth and income. He needs to see a counselor.
Zero ampathy for this guy, u make money to spend, enjoy life
Hi Dave, im a millionaire and i dont like spending money. Get a life.
This guy is literally me. And making a huge purchase causes massive anxiety for me even when it's no big deal.
Spending $100 gives me anxiety and I don't even decide to spend it I need a frame and a box spring I sleep with a mattress on the floor for the last 3 years
Love how you have people that delete intellectual comments that compete with the billionaires narrative.