Crucial First Step In Healing Narcissistic Abuse
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- čas přidán 4. 08. 2024
- Crucial First Step In Healing Narcissistic Abuse
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00:00 Introduction: Personal Experience with Narcissistic Abuse
01:08The First Step: Kindness and Forgiveness
05:07 Coping with Online Challenges: Developing Character
07:46 The Role of Humility in Recovery
10:59 Understanding Narcissistic Venom
14:37 Seeking External Support: Importance of Guidance
17:40 Navigating the Recovery Process
19:54 Self-Reflection and Growth
22:34 Seeking Redemption
24:45 The Importance of Self-Forgiveness
26:05 Breaking Free from Narcissistic Defenses
28:09 Embracing Humility
31:15 Progress through Humility and Kindness
37:25 Letting Go of Over-Analysis
40:10 Survival Instincts and Trauma
43:57 Coping Mechanisms and Therapy
47:36 Integrating Moral Philosophy
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Narcissist treat us all to a very valuable education. An expensive one. Learn your lessons, build your boundaries and learn to enjoy your own company. Make friends and get hobbies. Your enough alone, take yourself out on dates, get a pet to love, volunteer somewhere, animal shelter is always needed.
Love your comment. 61yo here taken on a lifetime narcissistic detour from myself, especially 26-year-ago relationship with man 14 years older than than I, with whom I had a son. Venomous.
Letting go, learning about me. Loving my 2 cats. Coming into myself. Learning so much from Richard, my favorite "CZcamsr" at this time.
I love what you said here, and especially bringing up the need for volunteers at the animals shelter. I was in two Narcissistic relationships, the first one was 11 years and once I finally got out of that one I volunteered at the local animal shelter and those sweet animals are also victims of abuse, neglect and abandonment. I wish I could save them all, I adopted two dogs from that shelter, my sweet Sam has long since passed but I still have my Yogi boy going on 15 years now. He has survived with me through two of these Narcissistic relationships, this last one only lasted 2.5 years I am recently out of that one and giving all my love to my furry babies and my self. Anyways, thanks for bringing up the animal shelters🙏🏽❤️🐾😊
Thank you! I did. Got a kitten. I think about kitty everyday NOT him.
Well said!
Yep, that's how you get tricked - at first you try to prove your loyalty and prove that you can be trusted and then slowly turn into a slave . Very easy way to avoid having a relationship with a narcissist - don't date someone out of pity. If you feel like you pity this person , you don't really respect this person, but you believe in your magical ability to turn them into what YOU want them to be - you are fooling yourself. Only date people who's personality you genuinely like. People who you like the way they are
Just be disagreeable and test their reactions
@@mightymouse1005 a small test can´t hurt. I need and I will grab santa´s beard to see if it´s real lol (crazy image lol)
If you pity them you don't respect them. Brilliant observation.
Your first sentence signals you are the co-dependent but everything after that shows that you are the narc.
Yep. If it starts with a sad story that's the first red flag. At least with the covert. If the affection seems disproportionate to the time-line slow it down. If they insist on constant communication and availability...back up. See how they react. If your gut or your body says something is not right. That is the truth.
The venom part is real. At one point I told him “I feel like my mind has been poisoned.”
At the end, I felt like I had been bitten by a very bad spider, literally.
That's what they want, to poison you, not only bring you down but poison you with the very essence of themselves, which is evil cruelty.
Please remember if you were involved with a narc or a sociopath or a psychopath in the first stages of your relationship it’s not your fault you fell for their charm, their lies, their manipulation. You didn’t even know these things were happening. So you learned your lessons, you’ve come to terms with the person you thought you cared for was a fake. So please FORGIVE yourself, and later forgive the narc so you can be free and not concerned with them anymore ❤
Great words!!
There is no where to go after a Narcissist Abusive relationship except to humility and self reflection. The sadness is overwhelming, the mind is foggy, questions you can't answer, nothing makes sense at all and no one believes your story anyway.
Therapy does help tremendously, Journaling helps, admission of loving someone who could not love or cared to learn how. Years lost on someone who would never be what you hoped they could.
I forgave myself first and then him and his family who Aldo participated. Moving forward towards who I am and who I want to be. Honesty with myself first. What people think don't matter, I know what I experienced. Being believed is not necessary. My Truth is what counts. Thanks Richard.. GREAT VIDEO!
Experiencing a narcissistic relationship is humbling-
Because there’s no solution
And the levels of confusion are extremely destabilizing.
Ty RG ❤️
Years worth of recovery and you’re never really whole again.
My great crime, to me, was that I didn't leave. There were so many times that he did something terrible & I should have gone & I didn't!
My therapist talks about humility & acceptance.
Acceptance is very empowering. Thank you Richard.
Wish that I could permanently! Have a shared daughter now. Been separated for 8 years, but multiple times a week it’s like the scars are torn back open, having to hear her voice on FaceTime. Acting like nothing happened, like the whole horror, show of the relationship and her entire life we’re not even real. No accountability will ever be had from them!
Please research what a trauma bond is and how it affects a person physiologically. It will make sense of how we got stuck
I just rolled off my second toxic relationship in a 2 year period. I accept my stupidity and try and laugh at myself, because if not I'm going to drive myself insane trying to rationalize things that will never make sense. I can accept that. I'm predictable when it comes to fitting a square relationship in a circle hole.. you can't jam it, when you need to jelly it.
Funny, i tried a few dating experiences, and about 3 out of 6 girls I dated were either highly narcisistic or borderline. Thankfully, these times I was able to part my way at the early stages of the same abuse that kept me glued to my wife of 15yrs (covert/fragile).
I must say that Richie is right on “was it lust, greed, pride”?
@@mrleomichbeing alone is not as bad as a bad relationship.
It's all about boundaries. And boundaries are not for others they're for yourself, so to honour these boundaries you must first honour your self.
@@mrleomich I got two in a row, I shared child out of the first one and absolute financial, legal and business devastation off the second one! I had no idea what the covert narc was, my daughters mother is diagnosed borderline and extreme histrionic, mild, NPD and ASD. Very high functioning, just toxic and evil enough to qualify
Trying to imagine how I’m going to get back up from this second round.
Self-awareness and accountabilty are keys. We can't blame the Narc for not having it, and not have it ourselves. Losing years to an illusion SUCKS. But it takes two to tango. Looking at what got us in it in the first place is the first step on the road to recovery. No mud, no lotus.
Don’t worry about your concern Richard. Your videos have saved my life. I take responsibility for being human, for losing, for not being healthy enough to recognize it. I lost everything, my career, friendships, family. I accept it and I understand why it happened now. You are a big part of that man. Thank you
Daniel, you are not alone and I relate quite a bit with your statement here. Trying to pick myself up and be kind and humble to myself like Richard recommends.
First step - be kind. “keep coming back to this.” Needed to be reminded of this.
That's the crazy thing . With humility , there becomes the genuine sovereignty. You see, because in that there is full accountability. It doesn't absolve the abuser , but it returns agency to you. This is great insight RG . ✌️
Humility and forgiveness isn't for the weak. I takes a lot of strength
So we'll said. Thank you 🙏
I literally just walked out of a narcissistic abuse relationship twelve hours ago and I have felt so many emotions sadness And emptiness seem to be the all thats left
I am feeling the same, kind of freaking out emotionally, and depressed. Barely hanging on right now.
May GOD strengthen your mind. You're awesome, beautiful, blessed, and stronger than you think you are. Use your ability and strength to encourage others who are going through this ordeal with these demons 😈
Try hard to not go back your future self will thank you
I went into my marriage knowing something was wrong but he treated me like my mother did and it felt familiar. I wasn’t authentic. I only attract them, so I’ve got a lot of work to do but at least I spot them quickly these days.
Trust the process! You're getting it bit by bit, and one day you'll turn around and they'll be as boring as popup ads. You'll click away without even thinking ❤
@@ElanaVital83 thank you, I hope so, onwards and upwards.
Exactly
This narcissist would even use the same verbiage my mom did and they never met.....he used the same phrases and behaviors. I asked him once if he channel her, she died before he came along
@@mightymouse1005 wow that’s freaky.
After watching these videos I can spot them within a minute. Nice people attract them. Richard you have helped so many . Thank you.
I totally agree a sin is always involved. Was a non beleiving Catholic, alcholic, sex loving, workaholic, truth bender until abused. Putting on all Gods armour saved me.
1 - Belt of Truth. The belt of truth signifies holding God's truth close to yourself at the core of your being. ...
2- Breastplate of Righteousness. ...
3 - Feet Fitted with the Gospel of Peace. ...
4 - Shield of Faith. ...
5 - Helmet of Salvation. ...
6 - Sword of the Spirit. ...
7 - Prayer.
If you are rightous, truthful, have faith, beleive in salvation. You can then stand alone and not be affected by the npd's
I still had to grieve tho, hard and painful , for the childhood and life I never had. It’s a long , long road. Still have flashbacks, and emotional flashbacks. Certainly the Holy Spirit gives you strength and is the comforter.
Thank you stranger on the internet :) going to do a big study on the armour of God today. 2 month No contact after 6 years of criminal and spiritual abuse and the ptds has hit me like another new tsunami this morning.
Nothing has tested my faith like this before so I’m looking forward to coming forth as gold one day. One day (minute/second) at a time x
@@sarahannelowe6557same and I'm 60.....sorry you went through those dark times
@@sillysopAMEN, I have to give credit. The narcissist abuse pushed me to seek God more and more.....
Possibly Richard's most helpful video ever, for me anyway. Planning to share!
I feel the same way. I am working on forgiving myself. Especially now that I've seen this video.
I was not able for years to learn to forgive myself and to be kind to myself. Finally Finally Finally......after years of inner work I am able now and it’s wonderful.....I feel joy again. 😊
This is all true Richard. I was so infected with their spirits .....the enmeshment...spirit of fear, of pride, of anger, of judgement, of lies, shame, arrogance ,envy, jalousy......I was infected with all this and I judged myself for it and now after individuation I can see and feel that this wasn't me 😃😃I constantly get in contact with my inner child, my inner adolescent and sad that it wasn't her fault, I explained her what happened, I gave her what she needed in the past and I took responsability for her pain, changed her believes which were projections and then real healing began. I became much more humble automatically. It was not possible to be humble at first. I had to gave myself security, forgiveness and understanding first. Thank you Richard
So happy to hear that there can be light at the end of the dark tunnel that narcissistic abuse puts you in 🙏🍀❤️🩹 Thank you for sharing your experience… sending you much love 💕
@@romygarcia3782 thank you. Don't give up. I shared my experience for motivating other persons. Don't give up. You are so worthy. Sending much love and gratefullness. 🙏💜💕💖
I have been listening to deliverance videos and anointed my house and animals. Getting his evil demons out of my house....
I know my problem.
Horrible abusive childhood. 2 bad marriages.
Last marriage was to an amazing and wonderful empathetic man until he died......I was weak and fell into the web of lies the narcissist throws out.....I take full responsibility
Religious narcissist are the worst.....
Jesus walked the Earth. The Humblest Man who ever lived!!! I am a Follower of Jesus!!!! I am proud to be humble. God hates pride!!!
Be humble like Jesus was.
You are giving us the right advice!!! Thank you, Richard❤
It’s weird but I feel there is something in your age that triggers an awakening in your brain to the truth. I’ve just turned 50 and I can honestly say I don’t think I could’ve felt this way 10 years ago. I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t able to process what my instincts were telling me. Over the last 18 months I can honestly say I’ve been able to open my mind. It’s like a transfer window in footy, if I hadn’t done this in that specific time I would’ve never got it.
Maybe my turning to god or a loss of some chemical in my brain when I went through menopause. Whatever it is I feel so lucky to have seen what I see and escaped from the depths of despair 😊 also thanks to you, Sam, Danish, Jessie and a few others who helped me along the way 🤩
I wonder if our hormonal profile doesn’t have a major impact on it? Not sure, but yes I’ve noticed the same.
@@RICHARDGRANNON I noticed that stopping having sex also played a big part in my eyes being opened. I do think I hid behind the quick fix and all that comes with it. I still would like a relationship and sex within it but I do have some hurdles to overcome before I do. Maybe when I’m 70ish haha
Hope this makes sense. I did dance with a narcissist for a very long time until I realised I was in denial. I do believe humility is the answer and listening to what you said brings optimism and reassurance that we all are capable of coming through this kinda ok if we’re willing to accept we played a major part in this palaver 👍
@@bevscooby1 - The sex is a big one. It's SO addictive for me. So are relationships. I'm female, 55, decided I'm better person without a relationship. Don't know how to be in one. Heck, I've been anxious and depressed for so long, I have no clue how to make friends. I am supernerd the hermit woman. 😏👍
Turning fifty will drop your tits into your socks , but it also comes with a bit of wisdom.
@isthisshit4real do you think it's autism too?
I think humbleness comes hand in hand with accountability (not guilt!). I have recently watched an interview of the Wolf of Wall street Jordan Belfort’s ex-wife Nadia (he is real narcissist, if not a psychopath), and what I really liked is that she didn’t blame it all on him but also said that she holds herself accountable for what happened in her life too, as you said “it has to be something wrong with me too, if I allowed this to happen in my life”.
And it’s not victim blaming, it’s being accountable for your life as an adult.
How you stand up for the truth is beautiful and admirable. Your integrity shines through.
Indeed! Had to be said.
Narcissistic wounding creates narcissistic defences.
In my own recovery I’ve had to go into those wounds and whilst I was feeling them I had to (temporarily) accept the voice of the narcissist- I had to feel the shame, sadness, & intense hurt that the words created in me. I had to feel it all, in order to release it and transform it. And to feel it fully I had to stop suppressing it. It was lodged on a really deep level because I was resisting and suppressing.
My resistance (in the form of ‘but I didn’t deserve it’, ‘but I wasn’t the abuser’), even though logically & empirically correct! was actually keeping the wounding stuck within me, and was producing compensatory behaviours to prove to myself that I wasn’t what I had been painted to be. This is the crux of narcissistic wounding.
Even if consciously you know it was their trauma and issues, by the time you’ve become embroiled then your subconscious has heard and received the devaluing messages, whether rationally you agreed with them or not. It may be mild compared to what they suffered as children, but it’s still in you.
And if you’ve had a tendency to remain in these types of dynamics, then you probably have some wounding like this from your childhood as well (coupled with neglect) that has also lodged there.
I suspect trauma bonding is at least in part the psyche is seeking absolution, acceptance, love from the very voice that declared your unworthiness.
This may also be why trying to heal from a trauma bond with someone who has BPD & co-morbid narcissistic traits is arguably even harder than straight up NPD, because there can be some real affection and love from people like that, even though it’s all mingled up with toxicity, so it’s even harder to walk away because the absolution and love is there! It’s just waiting for you to take them in again.
But obviously that’s a trap...all part of the manipulation and their inability to self soothe. The only way through is to give ourselves that witnessing and absolution, and to feel absolved we actually need to fully process the shame, hurt and anger.
But thankfully if you’re open to it, it can be done in a therapeutic space, through a number of modalities (I don’t just do things cognitively, I have to work somatically as well).
But all this to say Richard’s right, once it’s in you it’s 100% your responsibility.
And if meaning is what we need, then learning and growing can be the meaning, and sometimes even just having experiences. I mean I wouldn’t go back into the toxic dynamics I have experienced, but I wouldn’t want them to have never happened either. There was an incredible amount of beauty, fun, connection, steaminess and even love (sometimes) in them. But there was also abuse and all the shitty stuff as well.
I can be grateful for the good stuff whilst still knowing that I’d prefer and deserve to have more peaceful and healthy interactions in the future. They taught me a lot. I wouldn’t be who I am without them.
I’m so torn up by this man, she had bpd and I had no clue what to expect from it. It was so toxic, there was gaslighting, manipulation, narcissism and I feel like my self esteem is so low rn. My mind is in spirals and I have no clue what to do. Everything is just foggy and unclear, I don’t have many people I can go to about this
Its a crazy journey.
I'm finally getting to understanding my situation. ❤
I was in this kind of relationship for years. I was needy when I got into it and emotionally immature. Also received a programming from childhood that I was never enough. And that’s why, I feel, I had to go through this relationship. To break that trauma. For a narcissist, you will never be enough. I followed that wrong pattern. But this was the chance for me to wake up and break the cycle. To realise what was wrong with me. To step on the path of healing. I am thankful for that. I encourage all who suffered from narcissistic abuse to see the lesson in this situation. Life doesn’t punish us. It gives us lessons and challenges. Life doesn’t want to destroy us. Life wants us to realise that we are capable of living. You are forgiven, you are loved.
Thank you for your time, Richard. Especially in making these videos. They really help.
I will forgive myself. It's a process. When I met him, I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be wanted. I thought he really loved me. I passed off the red flags as his faults. No one is without faults. I did not understand the dynamics of narcissism until recently. It makes no sense to kick myself in the ass for it. It's a lesson to be learned from and move forward while healing.
I like what you said about humility, redemption and forgiveness.
Well said Richard, truth is healing!
Humility is accepting that you have lost the ego war so that you can truly win your mind, your spirit, your heart.
So much peace comes with it.
Are you saying that there are people who start this process being anything but devastated? I remember what a relief it was when I got angry because with anger came creativity and determination. Up to then I was paralyzed. When I look at the outcome for my children it is clear we did not win. I kept waiting for the world to make sense, and for me to feel wise . There has been no redemption or validation, no requests for forgiveness, no perfect world. You'll never meet your quota of bad people or pain. The Universe will never determine that you have paid enough, and neither will your toxic family, sadistic ex or traumatized kids.
I hear you! I first want to say that I hear you. The anguish is unfathomable. Truly beyond words. I lived with seething anger, unknowingly believing that this was somehow redemptive. That anger held such energy as to hold me, painfully, to a place where I could fall to pieces and, again, unknowingly be safe.
I am grateful for my anger, but it no longer serves me. My anger was all-consuming, like fire. Now, there is room for self-reckoning.
Best talk ever. . This encapsulates the journey to wholeness for myself. Kindness, compassion, humility…. These are the best paths.
Ii thank you Richard:)
Been watching as I heal, since 2014. Much appreciation!
Kept me company through a 14 year muck hole.
❤❤
This is why Buddhism is the way out of our mental cage that the narcassists put us in. When we do mind body work we use our own voice. The more we do that the more we will recognise our voice over the other voices.
The years you're honesty moved forwards. Some what as I too learned to forgive myself.
Keep on going. One step a time
Right on brother. Last night I was saying to myself, you are beautiful, smart, and amazing woman. Then I thought, wow I sound like a narcissist then I laughed and God reminded me, well you have been calling yourself a piece of shit for so long, its ok in the privacy of your own home, to build your self esteem. Be humble out there in the world..
We aren’t the pos’s -
Those vile, savage creatures who used and abandoned us - plus smeared our names are the real pos’s.
You are absolutely the BEST Narcissistic Expert on CZcams. Thank you so much for all that you do and the way that you do it sir. God bless. ❤
I went to live with my parents who were abusive too! Which was more torment for me😢. I became suicidal, but I never knew it was narcissism, but Slowly I got through it, probably because of therapy...and most therapy do not touch family discourse..it was only going to a violence shelter that I learned more about the abusive power wheel...I probably still need therapy.
Your life in relationships with 2 narcissists has a profound purpose . Your insights are a bright spot light. Your lessons learned are the orchestrated music to lead one out of the blinding darkness at so many turns. That is maze of recycling tormented hearts and shattering souls. You have cut through years of waste with a double edged sword. The recycling of the mental/emotional bondage of the narcissist in your head and heart and the years of never getting to remedy of it. 8 months out of the break. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord, for the light that shines on a path to journey out of that mental cage of bondage. Confession is absolutely the next step to freedom. Great heart Richard ❤️🔥 great purpose. Thank you kindly. Personal note: I appreciate your directness immensely . You stand out at getting directly to the point.
I felt overwhelming guilt more than anything when I left my last narcissistic partner.. she did make out like I was horrible for leaving her though. Like some helpless abandoned child. It's sickening how perfect their acting is. Absolutely diabolical
❤🎉❤🎉❤ horrible when there is actually a child between you and shared custody… If they are high functioning, the courts are absolutely clueless. Unless there’s really extreme physical or sexual abuse going on, it’s hard to get full custody, especially as a man. I would love nothing more than to be down the road and never see her hideous black hole, eyes and face ever again… But no way in heaven or hell would I leave my daughter to that fate! Her mom has the emotional capacity of a six or seven-year-old comment and my daughter is turning eight this year so we’re getting into rough waters…
They're ALWAYS the innocent victims...
I know this post is 3 months old: but I needed Mr.Grannon's wisdom poured out here. And I'm grateful for it. As well let me add because I've gone through this - being vicious and saying or doing anything back just poisons you! It only makes you feel worse and makes you question yourself more , hate on yourself more for being so "unlike" your true loving peaceful self, it just makes you sicker - not the person who is / has been doing real damage to you. So yes, be humble with yourself and reinstate as much PEACE and as great a Serine environment around yourself and for yourself no matter what. {if you are still around the damaging person - just do all you can truly to stop all interactions until...}
Wow, This is Very Powerful. Your Very Best. Thank you.
Thank you Richard you help us a lot ! Detachment finally kicked in for my set of mind to finally do it NOW ! Difficult but necessary was to the point of me getting sick and die or to tell ,find authority , legally to have my adult narcissist son (42years old) move out 60 days notice . He’s the continuation of abuse as my own family chain … my mother , ex husband his father , 3 ex boyfriends . Thank you to our community, who needs to get out is …NOW , ASAP , nothing goes better with time only WORSE !!! This new approach of humble,humility,tell , AUTHENTICITY IS MY WORD FOR A MONTH 💕 in my character now for Myself!
Find out why you attract them and are attracted to them. That's what you need to fix.
I'm sorry all those toxic people have hurt you.
I gather she attracts them/is attracted to them because she grew up with a narc mom. Still need to repair your codependency. 1st step was kicking out your son. GREAT JOB, SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! 💝👍👍😀
Thanks Richard another great video!! from one humble compassionate ole gal! Big smiles to you. 😊bless you for the people you help💗
I appreciate these videos. I just started watching them a few days ago and my perspective is already starting to change. They’re really helping me.
This video is really priceless. Honestly it’s the BEST NPD abuse video I’ve ever seen. You are doing incredible healing work on this topic and giving some reality sound, grounded advice while also being very effective. Plus you are so humble, AND funny! think you should be awarded for your service to humanity in this field. Thanks so much for what you do and the work you put into this.
Completely agree. 27 years. I justified staying so my kids would have a dad and a decent lifestyle to grow up with. I moved to separate on the 26/12/23. It’s only been nearly 2 months. Hopefully we can divorce amicably. I’m so done. I don’t hate him, we both behaved badly on occasion. I have a lot of work to do to regain my independence at age 51. The grieving process is definitely a thing. The love bombing thing is in full force. I just want to feel better and be a loving person toward my kids and the friends I have that love me.
We all make mistakes and when you know better you do better ❤
This video is beautiful. Thank you, Richard 😢❤
This is amazing. What you are saying is something I had not heard before and it explains the things I still had not understood. And it also explains why I feel the hate and cruel vengeance so many other channels spew made me feel something was dreadfully amiss. Wow. Thank you.
Richard, thank you for your help with these videos without them. I wouldn’t have the knowledge I do now and just wanted to say I’m very grateful and thank you for what you do.
This was so good again 🙏 Yeah I’ve started watching your content as I’ve been seeing my own narcissistic traits because of it all tbh and as I’ve only just felt like I’ve properly healed from it recently by accepting how much I was had off an that I played a role in that but was all I was capable of at the time. Been working on it from many angles and your course healing from the matrix of npd abuse - a couple of the main points in that changed things massively so thanks Richard. Your understanding of how it operates is the best I’ve come across. This whole topic of npd abuse ; it’s in everything, it’s everywhere, it’s a virus 🦠 infecting us all which is why it’s so difficult to see through the spell.
Yes, yes, yes! I agree. When I was still angry, blaming, and hard I was nowhere near being healed, or even okay. Humility and calmness are coming slowly, and with them a feeling of peace. That feels a lot more like healing to me. Thanks for the vids. I love your insights.
Best dose of reality for me I have heard,ty. I am 73 yrs young & I now recognize my homeward journey was my start to my next act. Grateful really if the narc never was in my life
I would never have learned the lesson.
My journey is a reward
This one made me cry.
Thank you for the message or forgiving yourself and having humility. There were times when I thought I had to be strong and not grieve, but the fact that it was so easy to hear what you said and cry because of how true your statements were, say a lot.
I really needed this today Richard. Thankyou so much 🙏🏼💖
Such insights expressed extremely well. This video is a gift.
This is outstanding and the most practical real life, applicable help I have heard yet since this unreal shit storm unfolded on me over a year ago. Thanks for these videos, they are helping me.
Your understanding of THIS, is answered prayer. Thank you for the revelations.blessings.
I am just grateful for your work and honesty and insisting we be honest and humble to ourselves. I was in a half- dead state when I stumbled on your video, and Fortress got me started. I am starting therapy , again, and that is a good reminder. And a Dr. Phil said you need to be " coachable" which takes humility. Gobs of it.
I thank God for you often & for His angels to cover & protect you Richard . The fantasy/dual mothership youtube revelation was a life saver for me ❤❤❤
This has been very encouraging. A great reminder of what to do. But to also know that what you walked away from was the right thing to do.
Do you know what my sin was? I didn’t know my worth and I let a man determine my worth for 34 years of marriage and my religious beliefs kept me in that marriage. I thought I could change this man and teach him humility and teach him how to react kindly. The golden rule never worked on him. I suffered. I floundered and made mistakes trying to find self-worth in the relationship and outside the relationship. I finally found videos online like this, that helped me break free.
Exactly my story
What religion
👍👍👍
@@devankurmitra4118 christianity. Or I should say churchianity. That is religion I’ve now found a walk with the Lord a relationship with my Lord is what Jesus preached.
@@mlou7432 how is your "relationship " different from religion?
Thank you for offering these videos and your sanity through this difficult time... Thank you for bringing the light to the darkness and offering hope....
Richard, your work prior to 2019 helped me get out of a terrible, abusive marriage of 20 years. It has helped me leave and navigate the aftermath. I’ve been able to preserve my sanity and move forward with building my new life. I love my new life and have never been happier. Once I understood how he thinks, I could step out of the whirlpool that once pulled me down, bewildered. I’m grateful to have found you. I’m grateful that you’ve used your experience to help others 🙏🏻 .
Yeah I've had 7 narcissists in my life and have 2 still around me...but I can handle them as I don't see them much anymore ...I'm winning in life now and have finally through the help of people like you help me survive these demons and get through all my trauma....x
Thank you it has been almost 5 months and i agree is forgiving myself
Caring for my self and be kind to myself thank you 🙏
One of the best videos from Richard. Thank you
Thank you Richard. Very helpful, clear and uplifting.
A candid and impressive conclusion of thought, I appreciate your sharing.
thank you, Richard. I just listened to this again a second time and it is really helping me. I am currently really stuck in my wounds.
so brilliantly said. I teach this with my clients and it’s wonderful for me to listen to your deeper layers. I agree with this inner reflection, the introject, aligning with truth, humility and how we all fumble- we all make these “Mis Takes”
You are very kind man. Best wishes for you! There is a saying "Pride walks before fall" its complite Truth. Humility is a superpower.
Self awareness is priceless that’s great thanks
Humility is actually very healing, its like a weight off, and being deadly honest is also very therapeutic. And the balancing of humility and kindness to self in your msg is very helpful and on point. Thank you
This is a wonderful video Richard. Thank you. and I'm glad for you, too. Take Care and Thank you again
If you keep going back, you will find it only gets worse,
I went back so many times just to make sure they were ok, as i worried that it was all my fault.
If you do the work with yourself first and really learn to heal yourself back to love and health, you will see their floors more and more.
It starts with you.
These videos have helped so so much, never let it be said that being informed with the correct information doesnt work, they are all part of the personal healing journey.
A good therapist, journalling giving yourself time to breath and heal,
and good informative guidance, you will break free
🙏
Bro this is amazing content 🙏🏼
Thank you for explaining this.
He's 100% correct, I've been humbled I fell on my face, HARD. 6 years after no contact, I realize I was NOT myself. I move slower in life and have to "come back to my body" several times a day. HUMILTY is KEY. It is the way. Thanks Richard for another great video.
Richard you are saving life’s.
I understand there are things you need to keep to yourself but I do know God is with you. Warrior
He is so right about how we respond in narcissistic ways. Even empathetic people tend to be selfish.. This is so true. 🎉 Thanks for that info. This is great..
Love your flavour and humour Richard And I understand Humility knowing the difference through context switch.
I totally understand! It's been over 30 years for me. He finally got physically abusive. THAT is what finally broke my delusion, it was like a spell was broken. I could finally except who he really is, not my fantasy. I could finally give up hope and grieve the loss of what i idealized. I know when i met him i was very young and leaving another abusive relationship. I was desperate for a knight in shining armor. His love bombing hooked me quick and hard.
Im just in the beginning of this realization, so still figuring what and how to do things. We are married and have children, so complicated. But i am seeking and learning.
I totally understand going from defensive to humble. Right before waking up, i knew he was a narcissist but the physical abuse woke me up and now i see my part in how this all started and continued for so long!
Been a while since I've experienced such clear synchronicity I finished a few of your sentences for you Thanks Richard I've got to be honest with myself if I want to trust myself again
Thank you for this ❤
Here I am. Since Four o'clock in the morning...Listening to you and understanding every single word ...and still, feeling miserable. I was married for 40 years.I raised four boys whom I named like their father. I left him five and a half years ago. This never ending loneliness seems to get worse and worse. I don't see myself as stupid but emotionally I know I'm an idiot. I forgive myself for that but I can't help feeling sorry for myself and this sorrow is not compatíble with my idea of dignity and self respect... It's been sooo hard . This man for whom I now feel sorrow, keeps haunting me like a ghost...
You’re not an idiot, friend! Don’t beat up on yourself and continue their abuse. We really don’t know, until we know. What it all is!
Thank you for your good Will, friend!
Understandable
How about volunteering somewhere? Food banks, animal shelter, soup kitchen, church, wherever you would enjoy. Go SLOW in everything you do. Pamper yourself. Allow yourself to sleep in if you can. We should form a friendship circle of people to call weekly just to have someone who understands. You can do this.
Your NOT an idiot.....you didn't know.
You can't blame yourself for what you didn't know
I did the same, affirmation helps a lot, Louise Hay books and videos are helpful, and Wayne Dyer, " RISE ABOVE The doubts, and Transcend the limitations this person gave you by be-littling you..abolish ANY COMMUNICATION with this abuser..for your self- respect and the only way to learn to value yourself.
Excellent advice Richard! Thank you ❤
I agree with ALL of this. I have had 3 narc relationships over 30+ years. I felt so stupid after my 3rd which I ended 9 weeks ago. I have felt all the guilt, blamed myself… all of it! But I have learned to forgive them AND myself for making those mistakes. I am being kind, humble and loving towards me and focus on my healing. Unfortunately I am not able to put it all behind me as there are ongoing issues to deal with in a legal sense but I will remember to remain humble and forgiving as I go forward. I am only human, fallible and but have the ability to do and be better with these lessons 🙏🏻
Go where it's easy to be accepted, not a fight. I'm grateful for that advice.
And your guidance on this years-long journey of soul and mind has been irreplaceable, Richard. Makes sense that it gets overwhelming at times. Lord knows each of us has been in that state many times, too. This video has me reexamining a lot of interactions now, it is doing good.
Lucky we have Reacher to guide us on our healing journey lol. God bless, may all here find peace, power and prosperity!
So helpful thank you!
I enjoy your sense of humor. I love it.
Reality is all we have left..well said. You've helped me more than you know.
Don't worry Grannon. Your not an echo chamber. Your a voice of comfort and valuable resource. Not everyone can get away from their narcisist and some are waiting until the children are more self sufficient to get out of these relationships. So many people don't understand and your truly a blessing.
The children are imprinting the behaviors in your home. 😭
I’ve been in narcissistic defense for a couple weeks. But watching this changed my view. I’m allowed to be sad! I just made a mistake! I can learn from it. I’m not bad! I just need a little work. Thank you for their video! Most helpful thing I have watched this far.
Thy gentleness has made me great 🎉
Legend much!!!! Richard should bring in charge, haha. I feel so much better the more I engage with this channel, I’ve learnt more in the past 3 months than I have with the past 10 years of therapy! Bravo!!! 🙌 🕊️🥳
Thank you. I’m so glad I found this. I know now I have to be kind to myself. I kept kicking myself and beating myself up. I’m going to treat myself with kindness and respect coz I just made a mistake. You really helped me
41:27 Exactly 💯 Thanks Richard for all your videos, I have been watching for over 5 years and I'm finally "getting it". Was assaulted and abused numerous times by numerous people from birth to age 40. Am finally healing. I thought I was a narcissist too but I think I had just taken on the parts from the people who abused me. Wasted over a decade with one who took my early adult years, health, energy , sanity, all my money and possessions, and parts of who I was. Coming out of the fog now. It has been hard but it's not impossible. You give me hope. Thank you.
I was barely out of that insanity, broken , in a bizarre new world of damage emotionally, then got cancer , nearly died , it’s been hell trying to recover . Not able to work after being hit by a truck years ago . Can’t afford therapy in Australia, we get 6 hours a year subsidy from the government so it has to be self help n books n you tube , lifeline , domestic violence support services but it’s so minimal and sadly there are psychological support providers who aren’t ethical or don’t know anything about this . He’s helped me more than any other psychologist. It’s made me feel worse . Ty Richard .
Hi Richard, I'm out of a Narsscistic marriage that I survived for 9 years. Thank you for teaching me the next steps that I need to take. It has taken me nearly 4 months to realise the person I fell in love with was a phantom, and Because I had very little experience of relationships prior to the marriage. I idealised my partner and jumped into the fantasy that I realised both constructed. I'm starting at rock bottom and reconstructing myself and giving up my revenge I had planned. Taking these first few steps are scary but I know it's necessary.
Thank you for helping me to acknowledge that I do need my own compassion. The grief and anger are unbearable. I appreciate you bringing to light the narcissistic traits we can employ to serve as our (my) life preserver. I thought I was being strong, but I, too, was fooling myself.I'm not interested in mortifying my NPD spouse. I do wish he could hear me, but I am coming to understand that he is unable and, moreover, doesn't care to. I have always felt that we are participants in conflict simply because we are there. It's a complex and confusing realization to me. I am feeling grief now, not because of what I allowed to happen in my and our children's lives ( crippling guilt) , but by the knowledge that I can't breathe here. My heart is broken.