As for the pity 'love', it's really more of a power dynamic thing really and always remember that Asian man usually really really prefer submissive women.. I think it also boils down to Confucians teachings which also played a big role in Japan then. Women were simply expected to be dependent on their spouse throughout their lives really. As a man in Asian culture, you're expected to be superior in every way possible when compared to your female counterparts and it's true even today and that's why highly educated women find it hard to get married in Asian countries due to the gap in education level or even just a matter of occupational prestige difference too much in a potential mate. So you can already see how big of a thing it is now still in Asian society and imagine we go back a few hundred years. :D As for genji, we must remember the author's perspective and also that genji himself was a real charming lad anyways LMAO so it's really more fanfic than I would assume reality. So yuh just take everything with a pinch of salt really and that's all I have to say.
@@Sosuke0727 as I said, it's a stereotype rather than a reality.. and quite often, women who act stupid and helpless are only pretending to be that way to get what they want or to avoid doing actual work. Genuinely stupid people (like my upstairs neighbor who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) are usually obnoxious.
I'm chinese and that weakness thing is kinda true. There's a thing called "leftover women" in china which are women that still aren't married after 30, and unexpectedly these women aren't ugly or stupid or anything, but because they are too independent or too strong and it makes men feel like she doesn't need a boyfriend so a lot of guys tend to stay away from strong women because it made the guys seem weaker or more pathetic.
Yeah I heard in the news about leftover women in China. I also heard that leftover women are forced to marry village men because some population issues..
It is more "kawai sou" with one "i" but it is pretty close indeed! They even share kanji characters! 可愛い (kawaii) which means cute 可哀想 (kawaiso) which means "pitiful" or "poor thing" They share the kanji ka: 可 which actually means "approval" "acceptable" "allowed" or "be in favor of"
I'm not Japanese but I always thought or 可愛 as literally "lovable". 可 gives the "-able" part and 愛 means love. Together it means sth/someone you can (or easy for you to) love, meaning lovely. In this way 可哀想 would be 可 "-able", 哀"sad", 想"think" meaning someone you can (or easy for you to) think about in a sad way, meaning pitiful.
Actually, this isn't really true. You're looking at the "romaji" of the words, which is a horrible way to grasp the meaning of them 可 means "able to", so "可愛い" means "able to be loved", with the い being indicative of an adjective. By the same token, "可哀想" means "able to be pitied". What you're saying is like saying every word with "-able" in it is related.
Yeah, but we know the writer never had a relationship with a millionaire, for one, so it's really strictly her (completely off-base) imagination. Murasaki Shikibu, though? She was a high-level court lady, the same as many of Genji's love interests, and she would've slept with several people in positions of power in court like Genji too. Odds are, her novel is way more true to life (and her own perspective on it) than Fifty Shades of Grey is. Of course, I bet there are some young ladies from the country/not yet up-to-date with the capital's dating style that's traumatised by their 'no doesn't always mean no' standards.
@@Marewig my point is even female authors write shitty love interests it doesn't make it okay because a woman wrote it. The problem with Christian is his controlling behavior which trust me doesn't require money.
@@scarletrose2880 The difference I think is where it's clear that Fifty Shades was shitty the moment it came out and it was practically pilloried. We have no idea what happened in Heian Japan, and if the majority of people find it great read partly because of its verisimilitude. I certainly can't get into the mindset of the era, but most people from the time might think it to be great, and that those who have a different view are in the minority.
Its still like this today. Girl idol groups that targets male audience will be meek, vulnerable and cute. Male idol groups that targets female audience will be soft, somewhat effeminate and Cute. Girl idol group that targets women will be strong and confident. Male celebrities that targets male audience will also be strong, reserved and confident.
@jamaicah joaquin they might be related but they are not that similar, Kawaii culture focuses on cuteness and sometimes may include "cute" flaws like clumsiness and shyness, but that is as far as it goes
That seduction technique had worked just fine on me in the past, then I realized we were living in the 21st century, and that is called 🌠"emotional manipulation" 🌠
@@animalkingdom2871 Males these days just don't have these skills anymore, they expect to be served first by the girls without doing anything (this would work if you are hot and attractive) or they may do some favour only to be friendzoned because what they are doing is simply getting favour not attracting, weak manipulation.
I've noticed in the modern Chinese novels I've read that they have the idea of pathetic/ weak= lovely. Lots of descriptions about how 'tender' a woman or child is, and how they look close to tears a lot, and are so, so fragile, like butterfly wings, and how they 'tremble'. Lots of hospital scenes for the delicate maiden, even for extremely minor injuries or common colds (I've never read one that didn't have at least 1 trip to the hospital) and fantasies about how she'd bruise or break. There's also a strong concept of neediness = lovely in the stories. So, being demanding or reliant on another person is attractive, especially when the other person can provide what is demanded. In the stories I've read, children who demand indulgence and act spoiled (while being ever so "tender" like a baby dumpling) are seen as more lovable than independent, low-maintenance children. They want you to act spoiled, because it means you want them to dote on and cherish you. It appears there is a sense of power/pride in being able to meet all of the neediness needs of your beloved object, which is probably why the ideal and stereotypical Chinese romance novel male lead is some superpowered, celebrity-famous billionaire who also models, moonlights as a mafia king pin, owns half the country, and is so extremely devoted, they'd give you anything you desire. Average joe characters are pretty nonexistent (I've never actually seen one as a main male lead in a Chinese internet novel). Shopping trips and giving someone an unlimited credit card are pretty common scenes in these stories.
Even modern novels huh? Sounds terrible 😅. Yeah it's the old timey way of seeing girls as "delicate." I remember once my parents were quite surprised seeing my friend drink and hold her liquor. I'm like yeah she's an adult 👀
I'll give you sushi 🍣🍥🍥🍥🍣🍣and rice balls 🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍙🍣🍣🍣🍙🍣🍣🍣🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍥🍥🍣🍥🍥
I think it's pretty common in Western culture too, but through a longer timespan. The man first appears dominant, assertive, maybe even aggressive at first. Then, he reveals his vulnerable side (some traumatic past or getting hurt by something) to gain her trust and empathy. A lot of storylines are like that.
Worth pointing out! Kawaii means cute, as many know, but it also can mean pitiful. Also, I remember reading an excerpt from a Heian lady-in-waiting's diary in which she commented that that the lady she served had seemed too enthusiastic during an encounter with a lover and really should have struggled more. Yeah, that's definitely a thing.
I thought nice was the equivalent of not being a asshole. I don't know what other women like, but I aint into the macho I'll smack you around type. I also dislike men who don't work on themselves at all. How about just being a normal decent person?
@@march9177 Nope "Nice guy" is a therm for self proclaimed nice people who are still jerks. usually feeling entitled to sex after being a decent human for a short while. only a short while. if you shoot them down they will aggressively try to coax you into the sexual act they feel entitled to
That "No did not always mean No" ideology is still quite popolar in the culture where I grew up and let me tell you that is quite an annoyance for girls.
@@mrinalkiran9105 I once had a guy approach me at 10pm, while I was going home from night classes and was try to "get to know me" and tell his feelings, and then proceed to stalk me for the next month, becuse me telling him No wasn't enough or credible enough I guess. The worst part is he probably thought he was being romantic or manly or something 🙄🙄
I mean, Edward Cullen from Twilight is a real creep too, sneaking into a girls room and watching her sleep and stuff. But it's romantically framed, which makes it ok to break into a girls room and watch her sleep apparently. Maybe it's the same with Genji. It's creepy when you think about it, but it's written in a romantic way
Wow, I LOVE that you actually drew the Heian woman’s Junihitoe ! You didn’t have to, but it’s beautiful and I appreciate it! The Art is getting better and better! 😊👏👏
This theme is still pretty topical now in Japan. Arguably a lot of that culture didn't disappear, and even now in Japan, many polls done by both men and women indicate that in terms of sexual advances, no does mean yes. Obviously in Japan rape is illegal, however Japan still gets a lot of flack because in their own definition, because no means yes, no only means no if the victim fights back/resists violently. It's not enough to push off or pull away, because by not fighting to the point of drawing blood, the perpetrator can still interpret the no's as yes. Recently there were a few cases in the news of fathers raping their daughters and getting away with it because technically in each case the girls didn't violently beat up their own fathers and technically even though they may feel compelled to follow orders of their fathers (the coersion bit), since teenagers don't usually listen to their parents anyway, clearly they didn't need to submit to what their fathers ordered if they didn't want to. Unfortunately these stories don't get as much attention as they deserve, so I don't know if anything is going to change soon. Even though I'm just a high school English teacher here, I try my best to teach my kiddos about consent in other aspects of their lives and I can only hope it carries over.
Thank you for this comment. I love Japan, but I do agree that it has a sexual assault problem. It doesn't get nearly enough attention. Statistics do show that Japan has a very low amount of rape crimes, and I do think that it probably is low compared to other countries, as is crime in general in Japan. But you have to wonder how many sex crimes are unreported, or not classified correctly.
@@Linfamy I come from the future, where a pandemic ravages the world. Yet the president has found the solution: "If we didn't test people, we would have less cases". So it goes, it's not a problem if you classify it as okay.
this reminds me of the song "baby it's cold outside. Just like women in the Heian period, western women in the 30s/40s were expected to deny romantic advances. in the song you can hear the women consistently saying that she needs to go home, but the man tries to persuade her with reasons to stay " (i.e. "it's cold outside")
They are literally talking about her reputation in that song. She wants to stay. He wants her to stay. Even if no sex happens people will talk tho and it could basically destroy her life. There was a lot of shit around that time. He isn't pursuing sex so much as offering a reasoning for her to give... The person she was expected to notify of her whereboughts. While not officially a thing... It was a thing at that time. Especially for more well to do women. We still see it in our culture today where women are expected to do that more often than guys and it is a much bigger deal if they do not etc. Just not quite the earth shattering scarlet letter it was at the time that song was written. The chorus of them both singing "but baby its cold outside" is an expression of mutual wish for her to stay. It is literally an illustration of all the things that would be brought up to stack against her. It was that serious an issue at the time. He is actually being respectful. I hate how sjws take that song out of context. The culture was much more strict back then.
If she had really wanted to go home she would have called someone to get her or left already etc. The fact the conversation was even happening was her wish to stay. That said your not wrong. You were socially obligated to play hard to get tho many did there own thing anyway but it was different and also probably obvious all at once. The idea being if he didn't want to fight for you that he didn't really want you. There are still remnants of that today in places, usually religious groups that hold virginity in high regard.
Poet Anderson : I just want to point out that in the movie where it was used, it wasn't just sung by the primary couple where the woman token protested and the man persuaded. Another couple in the movie sing it too, where the woman is the persuader and the man is the token protester. While the second couple's reversal was partially played for laughs, it still works well to show it was about token resistance and about rumors. The movie is named Neptune's Daughter and is from 1949. The biggest issue with the song these days is that as it is so out of context that a lot of people imagine it being sung by two strangers who just recently met, while the song is actually the song of an established and very loving couple. The "what's in this drink" phrase had notably shifted its default meaning too, same way "gay" doesn't just mean joyous, "boner" isn't slang for "mistakes", and "make love to me" is no longer a request to merely say sweet nothings.
The Heian period is similar to what I studied about to the Romantic Era in Europe where women were wearing bonnets that limited their vision, corsets that didn't allow them to bend over to pick something that they've dropped, etc- it enforced chivalrous actions because the women's fashion literally constrained them from doing much without help.
That's interesting! I see one difference, chivalry was dead in the Heian Period. Men generally did not help out women. There was a case of a prince who liked to help his wife step out from her palanquin, and people saw it as highly unusual. It seems such acts were rare.
There are people currently who wear corsets because they like historical fashion, and you'd be surprised what they can do. And by surprised, I mean they can do pretty much anything you or I can in normal clothes. I can send you videos on this if you would like.
It comes from the Japanese aesthetic called: aware. Finding the beauty in something sad, pitiful, fading. A bad example, but how worn makeup looks effortless and pleasant rather than overdone perfection (depending on the situation). How dramatic, dying scenes can be iconic. And so on. Today we wouldn't call it weakness but vulnerability. And that is quite attractive. Let's you know more about the person you talk to. Like, if your crush told you their mother passed away and they struggled - you won't run away but get drawn closer, to console, comfort and embrace them. Something like that. Like a bruised flower you respect for surviving the storm.
@@thedemoninshadow8503 Well there are other novels out there like "The tale of Shipwrecked Sailor" or "Tale of Sinuhe" in ancient Egypt that were also written like 3000 years ago. So I am not sure if the "Tale of Genji" is the first one of all but it surely is one of the first. Also what we call "incest" today was not the same as back then. Plus in Heian Japan they did not like couples like brother and sister or parent and child etc but in other places like ancient Egypt it was considered not only pretty normal but also the norm in the cases of royalty so it is all part of perspective actually.
I read about sabishii (loneliness+sadness), amae (childish act to make people want to care for you), and omoiyari (reciprocal act of compassion). It is still in Japan today and practiced in everyday life.
I think it's really sweet, in a way. They liked vulnerability. They recognized that we are all flawed people and if someone is willing to be genuinely vulnerable with you and you with them and you both want to take care of each of other and see the other grow... well that sounds like a really high quality relationship. At least, that's how I would like to think of it
I'm half Japanese and half Chinese, I lived in China till I was 17,I fall in love with different kind of people and I wouldnt say pity is now something Chinese are trying to aim for.😅
I'm 1/3 Chinese, Japanese, and Filipino born in the PH. My desire for physical skinship has been getting stronger, but my romantic feelings are dead. Am I screwed?
@@jomo5800 Nah mate, Feeling actual romantic attraction for someone is a bit hard,for me I really have to know them. So maybe that's what happening to you?
Random Heian man: Oh please, I'll die without you. I can't live without you! Me: Then perish. (Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to fit in that time period. )
I'm fascinated by other societies like this. It really difficult to judge a society from within our own, so I try to get a perspective by looking at how other societies functioned and to see if our society truly is as equal and fair as we claim it to be
Tbh I see a lot more similarities here in the stuff that's pointed out as different. Princesses get rescued, but also the Florence Nightingale effect. Like in Back to the Future, the future mom falls in love with someone because she rescued him. Or a lot of people value "sensitive" in a partner, or the whole trope where the girl sees the guy being picked on and stands up for him. And the whole "let me tell you at length how much I'm suffering with longing" is unfortunatly still a thing and does work sometimes (although really only if the person found you already attractive)... And the strategy for dealing with it isn't much different, if you keep engaging with "noooo" then the person will keep trying to wear you down, you generally have to go with something closer to complete disinterest and disengagement (or you can try something more offensive, like reacting with disgust).
In the 80's 90's Hong Kong / Taiwan pop culture, the "忧郁“ ("You-yu" Mandarin / "Yek-wat" Cantonese ) quality is valued in a pop-star. "You-yu / Yek-wat" literally means "depressed / sad", a male / female pop-star would took sad looking photo shot for magazine and their fans would go crazy.
Yes, pity-love is a thing. 憐愛、憐惜、憐香惜玉 All these words/phrases literally mean pity-love and are still used to a certain extent today. Many of the famous Chinese beauties whether fictional or historical had this quality that makes them more attractive. For example, one of the four ancient beauties, 西施, was said to frown from her frequent heart-aches due to her heart condition. And the frowning was supposed to increase her beauty. (On the flip-side, 東施 was said to be an ugly woman who attempt to imitate 西施's frowning and made a fool of herself, giving us the phrase today 東施效顰, meaning to imitate something poorly and counter productively). Another famous example of this frail-me-pity-me-love is 林黛玉 from the classic novel Dream of the Red Chamber. She's described as beautiful, frail and melancholic. She would get upset when her flowers die and she would bury them, crying, while also lamenting that no one would "pity-love" her the same way she does with her dead flowers.
Thot Slayer I’m not so sure about that. There are quite a few men who want to fulfill a protector/provider role so there’s some draw to the idea of someone who you can protect because they’re weak. However it’s not top of the list and I don’t think people would want to admit that out loud because it would be somewhat frowned upon given today’s current climate surrounding gender. Also it doesn’t go both ways. Men being weak is seen as undesirable.
Ever been to a club? His behaviour is not much different than that of Western players. And Western women too often than not give in to those players who keep on pushing until she makes out
Yeah... Some western cultures are also very similar. Not scottish tho. Lol I always wanted a strong partner whose ego was not bruised by a strong partner. A weak partner cannot have your back. A strong partner can. It is also relevant to say that this developed in different conditions and scottish women did not have the option of being weak until much later and then it was more forced upon them rather than an option.
Speaking of "protection fetish", I recall in Brother's Karamazov in which Dimitri says something like "she's not in love with me but with the idea of saving me". Just wanted to say that there is a connection to Western psychology(?). Also reminds me of Beauty and Beast.
that actually explain so many weird anime couples and ships... Like, the main guys always fall for the weaker girl, which many times is also the weakest of the girls, and he always wants to protect her, from like minute 1, not even after weeks or months of knowing each other. And same with girls really, the pathetic insisting guy that somehow gets compassion in the end- trope is also pretty common.
I really want to see this but I'm saving it to watch with my wife, both been real busy lately. I'll upvote now however as I'm sure it's interesting and funny.
In my opinion Genji wasn't necessarily good or bad, more like imperfect and human, impacted by his family, stituation, luck (and lack of it), his feelings and desires and all sorts of things any other person is impacted by. You can definitely sympathize with him, and he was also described as a very attractive person as far as I know, but the story and his personality is more complex than that. He certainly did some questionable things. I think this makes it an amazing and interesting story. Thanks for the videos, peace ❤️
Vulnerability makes you see people in their most genuine moments, which can be really attractive. Much more than mind games and elusiveness that some people adopt
@@Linfamy It's not your fault. Just can't stand the idea that being passive is a "yes" to some people. I didn't fight back against mine because I was scared he would hurt me worse and he was someone I used to care about and would say he would die if I left. I'm not against cultural differences in courtship, I just want people to be safe.
@@Linfamy I'm a college student now, so I'm not sure. I just know in my time it was about how biology worked and definitions and stds. I hope it becomes better someday. Some people, even as adults don't know any better because nobody taught them.
OMG! Thank you so much for this! I was reading Tale of Genji a few weeks ago and i notice what you said on this video. The way they behave with women was so different that i have my doubts on reading the entire book, actually there's literally one whole chapter about different "types" of respectable women. So annoying at first, but now i saw this i think i can give Genji a second chance :)
Wow! I'm just thrilled to be learning about old-time Japanese seduction techniques from Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Christmas 🎄 💩!!! Thanks Matt and Trey!
I don't think it's necessarily pity. Ok consider this situation, you meet this girl who you know is flawed but she tries to hide her flaws from other people but decides to show it only in front of you, and it can be indicative of a trust that is established between the two of you, and now you both can work out how to fix it together. It's a invitation to a sort of teamwork that is part of the reason that a relationship stays strong. A great example of this kind of relationship is the couple Akagi and Kaji from tsurezure children (it's an anime). It will be really boring to be with a person who has got everything figured out..... that's at least according to a humble indian man such as myself (my views may not reflect the views of indian men at large)
Instead of being bored of being with a perfect person, I would be more terrified of what kind of skeleton(s) that person is hiding in their closet since you know, the stronger the light is cast the darker the shadow is created.
@@Linfamy I’ve binged since 12am and it’s almost 5pm……. Time really flies by lol, also can you consider making more yokai videos? Ive even gotten my friends to watch them (more like forcing them)
Check out a niche subject in history called history of emotions, sounds like you have, but for anyone interested in the field. Japanese romance gets stranger it goes back. Same for European, as you can see with Arthurian romance. Also, nostalgia was fatal in the 19th century by some accounts.
@@Linfamy in the few courses I took in the subject, there were accounts from the US and Britain about such occurrences. emotionsblog.history.qmul.ac.uk/2011/10/dying-of-nostalgia/
@@Linfamy From that article you can see a little how what was called nostalgia was associated completely with homesickness at the time, and it became associated with shell shock, and today a form of ptsd. So changing definitions of things matters in how its being reviewed, just to make things even more confusing. I wish I had the source, but what comes to mind is a ridiculously complicated story of Japanese romance from the 6th century A.D., where a Japanese aristocrat was married to a woman by their families, and she was miserable. He had a concubine who gave birth to a daughter while he was away, and then the concubine died, and the woman who hated him and was his wife adopted the daughter as her own and never told him, since he would visit so infrequently. Only much later did he find out, and in her writings about the experience it was adopting the other womans daughter that she came to the conclusion she loved him, and he became awed at what she had done without him knowing. If I recall it made him cry, and that was apparently a big deal.
OMG I actually found your channel through that video you mentioned in the end! I love what I'm seeing so far, the stories are so interesting! Keep being awesome!! ♥️
Wow! I'm glad I wasn't born in that era. It would be annoying as hell if a person doesn't understand a simple " NO". Edit: I'm the new person from IG. So, Hi again! 😋😋
If I lived in a society with that complicated and technical of a courtship system, I would sponaneously combust from psychoanalyzing what to do when. I'm already socially awkward enough in contemporary culture. No👏thank👏you👏, Heian courtship!
In Chinese culture there is such as thing as 憐愛, also known as pity love, mostly comes from the affection towards someone or something that is relatively powerless or innocent. Perhaps a good literary example would be the character Lin Daiyu in "Story of the Stone" novel, where Lin Daiyu is emotional, physically delicate.
“Heian love was different.” People making themselves appear pathetic to induce pity sex or romance? I have a long list of films from the 90s that indulge in “Heian romance.”
I'm not from japan but I'm japanese and I can agree weakness is attractive as long as they're not dependent on you. Also it's not just girls that should/do show vulnerability
Many people don't know this but all across South Asia and some parts of South East Asia, seeing weakness as love is quite common. Infact, it's even the main plot of most movies and Tv Shows here
If someone had said something like that to me that they would just die if they couldn't have me I would personally give them a steak knife or tell them they still have their belt and shoelaces
Are you attracted to pathetic people?
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Linfamy yes I am attracted to myself. O and I am new
Welcome! Oh, don't call yourself that :)
With what you said I think I've found an explanation as to where many of the romantic cliches found in Anime come from.
As for the pity 'love', it's really more of a power dynamic thing really and always remember that Asian man usually really really prefer submissive women.. I think it also boils down to Confucians teachings which also played a big role in Japan then. Women were simply expected to be dependent on their spouse throughout their lives really.
As a man in Asian culture, you're expected to be superior in every way possible when compared to your female counterparts and it's true even today and that's why highly educated women find it hard to get married in Asian countries due to the gap in education level or even just a matter of occupational prestige difference too much in a potential mate.
So you can already see how big of a thing it is now still in Asian society and imagine we go back a few hundred years. :D
As for genji, we must remember the author's perspective and also that genji himself was a real charming lad anyways LMAO so it's really more fanfic than I would assume reality. So yuh just take everything with a pinch of salt really and that's all I have to say.
I live in the wrong time, I need to be living in Heian period...
Kind of explains why Japanese girls are considered more cute if they act clumsy or dumb.
And that it is considered weird in the west explains why my crush thinks i was annoying
#TsunderePride
It's not unique to Japanese culture. In the west the "cute dumb girl" stereotype seems to go back all the way to Victorian burlesque theatre.
@@sarahgray430 I never met a cute dump girl or anything cute in my reality , despite I live in a western country
@@Sosuke0727 as I said, it's a stereotype rather than a reality.. and quite often, women who act stupid and helpless are only pretending to be that way to get what they want or to avoid doing actual work. Genuinely stupid people (like my upstairs neighbor who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) are usually obnoxious.
"And then they killed each other"
That made my whole day.
😅
damn i just want to comment that XD
A natural response to a heated intellectual argument about popular culture of the time, is a surprise that today don't happen so often
It'd make for more interesting debates
I giggled maniacally.
I'm chinese and that weakness thing is kinda true. There's a thing called "leftover women" in china which are women that still aren't married after 30, and unexpectedly these women aren't ugly or stupid or anything, but because they are too independent or too strong and it makes men feel like she doesn't need a boyfriend so a lot of guys tend to stay away from strong women because it made the guys seem weaker or more pathetic.
Yeah I heard in the news about leftover women in China. I also heard that leftover women are forced to marry village men because some population issues..
I have heard of this as well but never thought that no one wanted to marry them because they're too independent/strong.
@@riyavaryani799 thats horrible
In the west despite of saying the opposite guys love these kind of women cause they see them as a chalenge
@@riyavaryani799 that’s horrible :(
That explains why kawaii, meaning "cute" came from kawaii sou, meaning "pitiful"
It is more "kawai sou" with one "i" but it is pretty close indeed! They even share kanji characters!
可愛い (kawaii) which means cute
可哀想 (kawaiso) which means "pitiful" or "poor thing"
They share the kanji ka: 可 which actually means "approval" "acceptable" "allowed" or "be in favor of"
I'm not Japanese but I always thought or 可愛 as literally "lovable". 可 gives the "-able" part and 愛 means love. Together it means sth/someone you can (or easy for you to) love, meaning lovely.
In this way 可哀想 would be 可 "-able", 哀"sad", 想"think" meaning someone you can (or easy for you to) think about in a sad way, meaning pitiful.
おかわいいこと lmaooo
Actually, this isn't really true. You're looking at the "romaji" of the words, which is a horrible way to grasp the meaning of them
可 means "able to", so "可愛い" means "able to be loved", with the い being indicative of an adjective. By the same token, "可哀想" means "able to be pitied".
What you're saying is like saying every word with "-able" in it is related.
You just blew my mind!!!!
Heian guy: "I'm so pathetic my mom kicked me out of her house to live in the streets"
Heian gal: Oh *GOD* ravage me *right now!!*
🤣
pfffft! XD
"And that's why I'm so *desperate!* Desperation caused me to steal you away!"
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Woman: sweats nervously
Heian Man: *Heavy breathing*
Genichiro Ashina 😂😂😂😂😂
Lmao
😂
This comment is underrated
OMG, you sweat?
*breathes heavily*
Lemme see that sleeve come off
UwU
"Remember it was written by a female writer," so was 50 shades of grey, and as we all hopefully know, that depicts a horribly abusive relationship.
you can and will internalize some awful shitty behaviour when youve been subject to it all your life and think of it as normal
Yeah, but we know the writer never had a relationship with a millionaire, for one, so it's really strictly her (completely off-base) imagination. Murasaki Shikibu, though? She was a high-level court lady, the same as many of Genji's love interests, and she would've slept with several people in positions of power in court like Genji too. Odds are, her novel is way more true to life (and her own perspective on it) than Fifty Shades of Grey is.
Of course, I bet there are some young ladies from the country/not yet up-to-date with the capital's dating style that's traumatised by their 'no doesn't always mean no' standards.
@@Marewig it was just one example. There are way more shitty relationships depicted and romanticized by female authors than actual good ones.
@@Marewig my point is even female authors write shitty love interests it doesn't make it okay because a woman wrote it. The problem with Christian is his controlling behavior which trust me doesn't require money.
@@scarletrose2880 The difference I think is where it's clear that Fifty Shades was shitty the moment it came out and it was practically pilloried. We have no idea what happened in Heian Japan, and if the majority of people find it great read partly because of its verisimilitude.
I certainly can't get into the mindset of the era, but most people from the time might think it to be great, and that those who have a different view are in the minority.
Man: *Drops his fan*
M-my fan...
*cries*
Woman:
NOW DAT’S HAWT.
Heian woman: sploosh.
Its still like this today. Girl idol groups that targets male audience will be meek, vulnerable and cute. Male idol groups that targets female audience will be soft, somewhat effeminate and Cute.
Girl idol group that targets women will be strong and confident.
Male celebrities that targets male audience will also be strong, reserved and confident.
That sounds very different from "I am pathetic"
@jamaicah joaquin Not really, that is a cute, not pathetic reaction
@jamaicah joaquin they might be related but they are not that similar, Kawaii culture focuses on cuteness and sometimes may include "cute" flaws like clumsiness and shyness, but that is as far as it goes
loving cute stuff idols do isn't the same as feeling pity towards them and being attracted because of that
@@luvcherry exactly!
So, this is the reason why loner in anime have harem?
Probably
Add also clumsiness and there U have it
omg it all makes sense now :O
Mine Craft
🤯🤯🤯 woah I think that is I’m mind blown 😂
That explains it.
That seduction technique had worked just fine on me in the past, then I realized we were living in the 21st century, and that is called 🌠"emotional manipulation" 🌠
Sorry for you!
Don't we manipulate stuff intentionally or unintentionally? Without manipulation nothing is done
@@gandhi1945 my thoughts. I am on the line with this kinda thing🤷
@@animalkingdom2871 Males these days just don't have these skills anymore, they expect to be served first by the girls without doing anything (this would work if you are hot and attractive) or they may do some favour only to be friendzoned because what they are doing is simply getting favour not attracting, weak manipulation.
@@gandhi1945 Women are simply too lazy
I've noticed in the modern Chinese novels I've read that they have the idea of pathetic/ weak= lovely. Lots of descriptions about how 'tender' a woman or child is, and how they look close to tears a lot, and are so, so fragile, like butterfly wings, and how they 'tremble'. Lots of hospital scenes for the delicate maiden, even for extremely minor injuries or common colds (I've never read one that didn't have at least 1 trip to the hospital) and fantasies about how she'd bruise or break.
There's also a strong concept of neediness = lovely in the stories. So, being demanding or reliant on another person is attractive, especially when the other person can provide what is demanded. In the stories I've read, children who demand indulgence and act spoiled (while being ever so "tender" like a baby dumpling) are seen as more lovable than independent, low-maintenance children. They want you to act spoiled, because it means you want them to dote on and cherish you. It appears there is a sense of power/pride in being able to meet all of the neediness needs of your beloved object, which is probably why the ideal and stereotypical Chinese romance novel male lead is some superpowered, celebrity-famous billionaire who also models, moonlights as a mafia king pin, owns half the country, and is so extremely devoted, they'd give you anything you desire. Average joe characters are pretty nonexistent (I've never actually seen one as a main male lead in a Chinese internet novel). Shopping trips and giving someone an unlimited credit card are pretty common scenes in these stories.
Even modern novels huh? Sounds terrible 😅.
Yeah it's the old timey way of seeing girls as "delicate." I remember once my parents were quite surprised seeing my friend drink and hold her liquor. I'm like yeah she's an adult 👀
wait.... is that why tsundere is a thing?
🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😏
I think so too
I guess so..... I am actually waiting for how Yandere comes about since you mention the "dere" part.
@@Humster Oh yeah that would be interisting
that's what I thought too!
"Thirsty as hell"
Ha *liked*
:D
Hell ya!!!!!!🤐
I'll give you sushi 🍣🍥🍥🍥🍣🍣and rice balls 🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍙🍣🍣🍣🍙🍣🍣🍣🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍥🍥🍣🍥🍥
Thirsty as hell is basically my online motto for certain things...
I think it's pretty common in Western culture too, but through a longer timespan. The man first appears dominant, assertive, maybe even aggressive at first. Then, he reveals his vulnerable side (some traumatic past or getting hurt by something) to gain her trust and empathy. A lot of storylines are like that.
Yeah I have seen this on western love stories but over a longer time frame.
Worth pointing out! Kawaii means cute, as many know, but it also can mean pitiful.
Also, I remember reading an excerpt from a Heian lady-in-waiting's diary in which she commented that that the lady she served had seemed too enthusiastic during an encounter with a lover and really should have struggled more. Yeah, that's definitely a thing.
What a harlot she was :P
Oh so she was saying cute in kaguya sama love is war
Sorry cause I know this is late but fo you know where you read that? Like what was the name of the excerpt/book
Struggle snuggle!
Some Asian dude: *picks me up*
Me: wtf
Asian dude: Sex?
Me: oh HELL no
:D
so yes?
@Thot Slayer Well faking weakness is easy
Ah I see the token denial
@@User-LS-n5m have you even seen the Video? This is a referece.
I'm pretty sure that James Bond would have liked to live there....
He'd have a grand ol' time
Very true
I'm pretty sure Bond wouldn't be the type to manipulate women to feeling sorry for him.
@@arkhamfivehundred i supose....
@Winter Backerley he's gay?
Didn't know that...
Guy: drops fan - sheds tears
Woman: I am so turned on Rn
i would be...
Genji: "Hypothetically, for the sake of argument, would you sleep with me if I was weak and pitiful?"
Sounds a lot like modern "nice guys"
Its a culture tuned for nice guys.
I thought nice was the equivalent of not being a asshole. I don't know what other women like, but I aint into the macho I'll smack you around type. I also dislike men who don't work on themselves at all. How about just being a normal decent person?
@@march9177 Nope "Nice guy" is a therm for self proclaimed nice people who are still jerks. usually feeling entitled to sex after being a decent human for a short while. only a short while. if you shoot them down they will aggressively try to coax you into the sexual act they feel entitled to
I was about to say that
@@kaedesakura9274 who decided that?
That "No did not always mean No" ideology is still quite popolar in the culture where I grew up and let me tell you that is quite an annoyance for girls.
Totally agree... It's damn annoying!
@@mrinalkiran9105 I once had a guy approach me at 10pm, while I was going home from night classes and was try to "get to know me" and tell his feelings, and then proceed to stalk me for the next month, becuse me telling him No wasn't enough or credible enough I guess. The worst part is he probably thought he was being romantic or manly or something 🙄🙄
Hayasa Yeah. We should just say “never” instead of “no”. Sure it breaks the heart but better than having some stalker that’s for sure
It is quite annoying for men too... Like, if you actually take what girls say at face value, they will look at you like you went completely crazy.
@@Hungabrigoo No.
I mean, Edward Cullen from Twilight is a real creep too, sneaking into a girls room and watching her sleep and stuff. But it's romantically framed, which makes it ok to break into a girls room and watch her sleep apparently. Maybe it's the same with Genji. It's creepy when you think about it, but it's written in a romantic way
Wow, I LOVE that you actually drew the Heian woman’s Junihitoe ! You didn’t have to, but it’s beautiful and I appreciate it! The Art is getting better and better! 😊👏👏
Thanks! I appreciate it :)
This theme is still pretty topical now in Japan. Arguably a lot of that culture didn't disappear, and even now in Japan, many polls done by both men and women indicate that in terms of sexual advances, no does mean yes.
Obviously in Japan rape is illegal, however Japan still gets a lot of flack because in their own definition, because no means yes, no only means no if the victim fights back/resists violently. It's not enough to push off or pull away, because by not fighting to the point of drawing blood, the perpetrator can still interpret the no's as yes.
Recently there were a few cases in the news of fathers raping their daughters and getting away with it because technically in each case the girls didn't violently beat up their own fathers and technically even though they may feel compelled to follow orders of their fathers (the coersion bit), since teenagers don't usually listen to their parents anyway, clearly they didn't need to submit to what their fathers ordered if they didn't want to.
Unfortunately these stories don't get as much attention as they deserve, so I don't know if anything is going to change soon. Even though I'm just a high school English teacher here, I try my best to teach my kiddos about consent in other aspects of their lives and I can only hope it carries over.
Thank you for this comment. I love Japan, but I do agree that it has a sexual assault problem. It doesn't get nearly enough attention.
Statistics do show that Japan has a very low amount of rape crimes, and I do think that it probably is low compared to other countries, as is crime in general in Japan. But you have to wonder how many sex crimes are unreported, or not classified correctly.
@@Linfamy
I come from the future, where a pandemic ravages the world. Yet the president has found the solution: "If we didn't test people, we would have less cases". So it goes, it's not a problem if you classify it as okay.
( o _ o ;;)
"ii" mean good. And
"iie" mean No.
I think there some connection here
Ah, “no” only means “no” if followed swiftly by a punch in the face.
Got it, no problem 👍🏼
this reminds me of the song "baby it's cold outside. Just like women in the Heian period, western women in the 30s/40s were expected to deny romantic advances. in the song you can hear the women consistently saying that she needs to go home, but the man tries to persuade her with reasons to stay " (i.e. "it's cold outside")
It reminded me of tge vine
Reminds me of those feminists ruining the song.
They are literally talking about her reputation in that song. She wants to stay. He wants her to stay. Even if no sex happens people will talk tho and it could basically destroy her life. There was a lot of shit around that time. He isn't pursuing sex so much as offering a reasoning for her to give... The person she was expected to notify of her whereboughts. While not officially a thing... It was a thing at that time. Especially for more well to do women. We still see it in our culture today where women are expected to do that more often than guys and it is a much bigger deal if they do not etc. Just not quite the earth shattering scarlet letter it was at the time that song was written. The chorus of them both singing "but baby its cold outside" is an expression of mutual wish for her to stay. It is literally an illustration of all the things that would be brought up to stack against her. It was that serious an issue at the time. He is actually being respectful. I hate how sjws take that song out of context. The culture was much more strict back then.
If she had really wanted to go home she would have called someone to get her or left already etc. The fact the conversation was even happening was her wish to stay.
That said your not wrong. You were socially obligated to play hard to get tho many did there own thing anyway but it was different and also probably obvious all at once. The idea being if he didn't want to fight for you that he didn't really want you. There are still remnants of that today in places, usually religious groups that hold virginity in high regard.
Poet Anderson : I just want to point out that in the movie where it was used, it wasn't just sung by the primary couple where the woman token protested and the man persuaded. Another couple in the movie sing it too, where the woman is the persuader and the man is the token protester. While the second couple's reversal was partially played for laughs, it still works well to show it was about token resistance and about rumors.
The movie is named Neptune's Daughter and is from 1949.
The biggest issue with the song these days is that as it is so out of context that a lot of people imagine it being sung by two strangers who just recently met, while the song is actually the song of an established and very loving couple.
The "what's in this drink" phrase had notably shifted its default meaning too, same way "gay" doesn't just mean joyous, "boner" isn't slang for "mistakes", and "make love to me" is no longer a request to merely say sweet nothings.
The Heian period is similar to what I studied about to the Romantic Era in Europe where women were wearing bonnets that limited their vision, corsets that didn't allow them to bend over to pick something that they've dropped, etc- it enforced chivalrous actions because the women's fashion literally constrained them from doing much without help.
That's interesting! I see one difference, chivalry was dead in the Heian Period. Men generally did not help out women. There was a case of a prince who liked to help his wife step out from her palanquin, and people saw it as highly unusual. It seems such acts were rare.
There are people currently who wear corsets because they like historical fashion, and you'd be surprised what they can do. And by surprised, I mean they can do pretty much anything you or I can in normal clothes. I can send you videos on this if you would like.
It comes from the Japanese aesthetic called: aware. Finding the beauty in something sad, pitiful, fading. A bad example, but how worn makeup looks effortless and pleasant rather than overdone perfection (depending on the situation). How dramatic, dying scenes can be iconic. And so on.
Today we wouldn't call it weakness but vulnerability. And that is quite attractive. Let's you know more about the person you talk to.
Like, if your crush told you their mother passed away and they struggled - you won't run away but get drawn closer, to console, comfort and embrace them.
Something like that.
Like a bruised flower you respect for surviving the storm.
I already imagine women gossip around like : 'hah, looser, nobody dragged you to a private room yet? Pfft...way to go missy. '
Her: "Last week I was dragged into a freaking suite"
Friends: "Damn girl!"
@@Linfamy damn, a suite? Maybe it doesn't sound that bad 🤣
FUN fact: Tale of genji is considered as the world's first novel
Extra fact: It is also the worlds first sexual (incest) novel and psychological novel
So, you're saying she legit wrote the book for all the anime that fall into the Romance genre?
@@humblesoldier5474 it's not my saying, it's a historical fact
The Demon in Shadow incest how it is it incest
@@thedemoninshadow8503 Well there are other novels out there like "The tale of Shipwrecked Sailor" or "Tale of Sinuhe" in ancient Egypt that were also written like 3000 years ago. So I am not sure if the "Tale of Genji" is the first one of all but it surely is one of the first.
Also what we call "incest" today was not the same as back then. Plus in Heian Japan they did not like couples like brother and sister or parent and child etc but in other places like ancient Egypt it was considered not only pretty normal but also the norm in the cases of royalty so it is all part of perspective actually.
I thought the Bible was the first sexual novel psychological and incest novel . Ps i learn something new every day .
I read about sabishii (loneliness+sadness), amae (childish act to make people want to care for you), and omoiyari (reciprocal act of compassion). It is still in Japan today and practiced in everyday life.
amae!!! A term I needed, wow. Fascinating!
I think it's really sweet, in a way. They liked vulnerability. They recognized that we are all flawed people and if someone is willing to be genuinely vulnerable with you and you with them and you both want to take care of each of other and see the other grow... well that sounds like a really high quality relationship. At least, that's how I would like to think of it
I'm half Japanese and half Chinese, I lived in China till I was 17,I fall in love with different kind of people and I wouldnt say pity is now something Chinese are trying to aim for.😅
I'm 1/3 Chinese, Japanese, and Filipino born in the PH.
My desire for physical skinship has been getting stronger, but my romantic feelings are dead. Am I screwed?
@@jomo5800 Nah mate, Feeling actual romantic attraction for someone is a bit hard,for me I really have to know them. So maybe that's what happening to you?
@@user-co1lj1mq3j Hopefully...
@@jomo5800 dont get worried about it mate you will figure it out !!
John Timothy Unson maybe the term you are looking for is aromantic?
So is Heian love just you being so lame in your courtship technique that she'll just sleep with you out of pity?
Maybe I'll try just that.
Not recommended nowadays... but please videotape your results
Linfamy I don't have a video but here's the screenshot bit.ly/2JnDnEf
also, apparently editing comments remove the heart so please re-heart it, Linfamy, or I'll die out of extreme sorrow and anguish
That text convo...oh god I can't...
Linfamy she can't, either, e̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶I̶ ̶D̶a̶h̶m̶e̶r̶'̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶.̶
Random Heian man: Oh please, I'll die without you. I can't live without you!
Me: Then perish.
(Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to fit in that time period. )
Then he kills himself to prove his love
You are my role model
Well in this era, you should be like that
Lmao idk why but the thought of a person dropping his fan and starting to cry out of a sudden is so funny
This is basically all anime summarized.
Shonen and Kodomomuke anime included.
Summary: love games were stupid back then too
"Keep binge watching these videos"
That's what I've been doing instead of my end of the year eight page assignment--
Priorities 🙄
this takes "you're looking quite breedable and submissive right now" to another level
gaslighters and narcissists must have thrived
I'm fascinated by other societies like this. It really difficult to judge a society from within our own, so I try to get a perspective by looking at how other societies functioned and to see if our society truly is as equal and fair as we claim it to be
Yeah that's why it's good to travel if you have the means, see different cultures
Tbh I see a lot more similarities here in the stuff that's pointed out as different.
Princesses get rescued, but also the Florence Nightingale effect. Like in Back to the Future, the future mom falls in love with someone because she rescued him. Or a lot of people value "sensitive" in a partner, or the whole trope where the girl sees the guy being picked on and stands up for him.
And the whole "let me tell you at length how much I'm suffering with longing" is unfortunatly still a thing and does work sometimes (although really only if the person found you already attractive)... And the strategy for dealing with it isn't much different, if you keep engaging with "noooo" then the person will keep trying to wear you down, you generally have to go with something closer to complete disinterest and disengagement (or you can try something more offensive, like reacting with disgust).
In the 80's 90's Hong Kong / Taiwan pop culture, the "忧郁“ ("You-yu" Mandarin / "Yek-wat" Cantonese ) quality is valued in a pop-star. "You-yu / Yek-wat" literally means "depressed / sad", a male / female pop-star would took sad looking photo shot for magazine and their fans would go crazy.
That's really interesting :)
and now we have a bunch emo rapper that get some girls crazy because they seem broken and depressed
This explains soooo much hentai. And wierdly some shoujo too...
What shoujo do you read?
@@Nico.Robin7 haha yeah!
@@InvalidPersistentName another enligthen one i see
Kaichou wa maid sama, ookami shoujo to kuro oji, special A,
hahaha pretty much every josei
I feel like the pity protection love thing is definitely still alive modern day
Yes, pity-love is a thing. 憐愛、憐惜、憐香惜玉 All these words/phrases literally mean pity-love and are still used to a certain extent today.
Many of the famous Chinese beauties whether fictional or historical had this quality that makes them more attractive. For example, one of the four ancient beauties, 西施, was said to frown from her frequent heart-aches due to her heart condition. And the frowning was supposed to increase her beauty. (On the flip-side, 東施 was said to be an ugly woman who attempt to imitate 西施's frowning and made a fool of herself, giving us the phrase today 東施效顰, meaning to imitate something poorly and counter productively).
Another famous example of this frail-me-pity-me-love is 林黛玉 from the classic novel Dream of the Red Chamber. She's described as beautiful, frail and melancholic. She would get upset when her flowers die and she would bury them, crying, while also lamenting that no one would "pity-love" her the same way she does with her dead flowers.
Awesome, thanks for that info!
Let’s go China !
Pretty good explanation!
I know 西施！And yes I'm from China. You are correct about her! ;)
Oh, man, Lin Daiyu gets everywhere... Don't mind me, I just have some unpleasant flashbacks with overly-dramatic type of women. *Shudders *
That's explain the behavior of some men in asian culture even nowadays. There us a part of heritage
That's how I got my gd to sleep with me too.....
Thot Slayer I’m not so sure about that. There are quite a few men who want to fulfill a protector/provider role so there’s some draw to the idea of someone who you can protect because they’re weak. However it’s not top of the list and I don’t think people would want to admit that out loud because it would be somewhat frowned upon given today’s current climate surrounding gender. Also it doesn’t go both ways. Men being weak is seen as undesirable.
Ever been to a club? His behaviour is not much different than that of Western players. And Western women too often than not give in to those players who keep on pushing until she makes out
Yeah... Some western cultures are also very similar. Not scottish tho. Lol I always wanted a strong partner whose ego was not bruised by a strong partner. A weak partner cannot have your back. A strong partner can. It is also relevant to say that this developed in different conditions and scottish women did not have the option of being weak until much later and then it was more forced upon them rather than an option.
Just cause it was in Japan it doesn't hold true for all asian culture . Curb your ignorance . This doesn't count as heritage either .
Speaking of "protection fetish", I recall in Brother's Karamazov in which Dimitri says something like "she's not in love with me but with the idea of saving me". Just wanted to say that there is a connection to Western psychology(?). Also reminds me of Beauty and Beast.
I’m chinese and I can answer your question! Back in the 1940s to 1960s the pity love thing was viral. Right now, only sometimes.
heian FBI open up
Metropolitan Police Board open up!
"But you can take your time. Don't let us interrupt." 😉😉
Somehow, I think this beyond the jurisdiction of the FBI, both geographically and chronologically!!
I swear office, she wanted it!
So way of the Samurai was a historically accurate game?
My ship will dock in your harbor tonight girl!
I laughed too hard on that.
Well play, good sir, well play.
I was looking for this. No gamer can be a gentleman without playing WotS
Glad I'm not the only person who plays those games.
Itadakimaaaasu
I'm chinese but I am technically more comfortable with how the westerns call "LOVE"
Oh, my dog, I’m having Wuthering Heights flashbacks!
Damn I rly want to see some more Japanese literature covered. It could be nice of you made a video about literature
that actually explain so many weird anime couples and ships...
Like, the main guys always fall for the weaker girl, which many times is also the weakest of the girls, and he always wants to protect her, from like minute 1, not even after weeks or months of knowing each other.
And same with girls really, the pathetic insisting guy that somehow gets compassion in the end- trope is also pretty common.
I really want to see this but I'm saving it to watch with my wife, both been real busy lately. I'll upvote now however as I'm sure it's interesting and funny.
Haha love it ;)
You can't make me binge-watch your videos...
...because I've *ALREADY* binge-watched your videos.
Hahaha ❤
So, what I'm hearing is, a woman that made you feel you needed to protect her was considered attractive...
Moe was a thing in Heian Japan?!
Yes, but actually...yes
That... Actually explain a LOT of things about anime & manga that I've been wondering about !
As a Malaysian, I was shocked to hear about this. Great Jobs and hope you can explain more Japanese culture to us! ❤️
I thought modern dating was complicated...😅 I believe the Heian period takes it to a whole new level.
🤣
wow, that really explains a lot of what you can see in anime
loving the picture, go Daria!
In my opinion Genji wasn't necessarily good or bad, more like imperfect and human, impacted by his family, stituation, luck (and lack of it), his feelings and desires and all sorts of things any other person is impacted by. You can definitely sympathize with him, and he was also described as a very attractive person as far as I know, but the story and his personality is more complex than that. He certainly did some questionable things. I think this makes it an amazing and interesting story. Thanks for the videos, peace ❤️
Now some episodes of Ouran High School Host Club are making much more sense to me now!
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more
Pizza with extra chili.
Painful, weird and something you just *NEED* to try.
@High-Rise Haha you didn't disappoint
Mystery
@Agnes Corlin :D
Now I know why in Kaguya-Sama Love is War, neither wants to admit it. The aristocrats are most susceptible to be bound by tradition.
I found another weeb lol
Vulnerability makes you see people in their most genuine moments, which can be really attractive. Much more than mind games and elusiveness that some people adopt
As a rape survivor, this kinda scares me, but I understand that this is from a time period and culture that is completely different from mine.
I'm so sorry you went through that. Yeah, it's amazing how wildly different cultures can be.
@@Linfamy It's not your fault. Just can't stand the idea that being passive is a "yes" to some people. I didn't fight back against mine because I was scared he would hurt me worse and he was someone I used to care about and would say he would die if I left.
I'm not against cultural differences in courtship, I just want people to be safe.
Agreed. And most people are just not taught consent. I don't know what they teach in sex ed these days, but that needs to be a big part of it.
@@Linfamy I'm a college student now, so I'm not sure. I just know in my time it was about how biology worked and definitions and stds. I hope it becomes better someday. Some people, even as adults don't know any better because nobody taught them.
Fun Fact: One of my professor in Japanese History Study have participated to translate the Genji Monogatari in French :3 !!
Noice
OMG! Thank you so much for this!
I was reading Tale of Genji a few weeks ago and i notice what you said on this video. The way they behave with women was so different that i have my doubts on reading the entire book, actually there's literally one whole chapter about different "types" of respectable women. So annoying at first, but now i saw this i think i can give Genji a second chance :)
Hah what a coincidence :)
Wow! I'm just thrilled to be learning about old-time Japanese seduction techniques from Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Christmas 🎄 💩!!! Thanks Matt and Trey!
!!!
You're welcome
2:09 ...WOW. That explains Love Hina.
I don't think it's necessarily pity.
Ok consider this situation, you meet this girl who you know is flawed but she tries to hide her flaws from other people but decides to show it only in front of you, and it can be indicative of a trust that is established between the two of you, and now you both can work out how to fix it together. It's a invitation to a sort of teamwork that is part of the reason that a relationship stays strong.
A great example of this kind of relationship is the couple Akagi and Kaji from tsurezure children (it's an anime).
It will be really boring to be with a person who has got everything figured out..... that's at least according to a humble indian man such as myself (my views may not reflect the views of indian men at large)
Some vulnerability is healthy in a relationship. I think people in the Heian took it to a whole new level though.
to put it in simple words: you like people for their best qualities, you love them despite their worst.
Well put
If your talking about the particular example he gave us, that is pity, nothing else. Also, we all have our flaws, I think your example is to vague.
Instead of being bored of being with a perfect person, I would be more terrified of what kind of skeleton(s) that person is hiding in their closet since you know, the stronger the light is cast the darker the shadow is created.
Reminds me of this girl who threatened to kill herself to her ex for being dumped.
The more things change...
You don’t want me to die do you? Me: actually I do!
Ouch
Am I the only one here 4 years later just binge watching his videos?
Binge away :)
@@Linfamy I’ve binged since 12am and it’s almost 5pm……. Time really flies by lol, also can you consider making more yokai videos? Ive even gotten my friends to watch them (more like forcing them)
@@Linfamy day 2 of binging :)
Notification squad where u aaaaat what a nice video right before I head to bed :)))
I'm here!
Linfamy haha
Sees the thumb nail: "seduce me"
Thinks: spy from TF2 yelling "SEDUCE ME!!"
spy:This is a bucket
“No, Spy, I am not going to...”
@@sirwannabeguy4886 “SEDUCE ME!!!!”
Is that why all the male leads in historical dramas spit up blood and squeeze out the tears
So basically, that one best friend everyone's girlfriends have
Check out a niche subject in history called history of emotions, sounds like you have, but for anyone interested in the field. Japanese romance gets stranger it goes back. Same for European, as you can see with Arthurian romance.
Also, nostalgia was fatal in the 19th century by some accounts.
Nostalgia was considered fatal??
@@Linfamy in the few courses I took in the subject, there were accounts from the US and Britain about such occurrences.
emotionsblog.history.qmul.ac.uk/2011/10/dying-of-nostalgia/
Interesting, thanks! Will have to read that later =)
@@Linfamy From that article you can see a little how what was called nostalgia was associated completely with homesickness at the time, and it became associated with shell shock, and today a form of ptsd. So changing definitions of things matters in how its being reviewed, just to make things even more confusing.
I wish I had the source, but what comes to mind is a ridiculously complicated story of Japanese romance from the 6th century A.D., where a Japanese aristocrat was married to a woman by their families, and she was miserable. He had a concubine who gave birth to a daughter while he was away, and then the concubine died, and the woman who hated him and was his wife adopted the daughter as her own and never told him, since he would visit so infrequently. Only much later did he find out, and in her writings about the experience it was adopting the other womans daughter that she came to the conclusion she loved him, and he became awed at what she had done without him knowing. If I recall it made him cry, and that was apparently a big deal.
@@Linfamy Hey as long as you enjoy it.
OMG I actually found your channel through that video you mentioned in the end! I love what I'm seeing so far, the stories are so interesting! Keep being awesome!! ♥️
Welcome! And glad you like the channel :)
0:33 Should've offered the "mating press" lol
Seduction game. Watched this because this will be the theme in the next few episodes of Date a Live season 4.
Wow! I'm glad I wasn't born in that era. It would be annoying as hell if a person doesn't understand a simple " NO".
Edit: I'm the new person from IG. So, Hi again! 😋😋
Annoying indeed. Hi new person!
It explain a lot about cliche romance mangas.
thanks for the tutorial. ill make sure to try this out
Oh noes 😣
If I lived in a society with that complicated and technical of a courtship system, I would sponaneously combust from psychoanalyzing what to do when. I'm already socially awkward enough in contemporary culture. No👏thank👏you👏, Heian courtship!
You'd have plenty of time to think about it though
In Chinese culture there is such as thing as 憐愛, also known as pity love, mostly comes from the affection towards someone or something that is relatively powerless or innocent. Perhaps a good literary example would be the character Lin Daiyu in "Story of the Stone" novel, where Lin Daiyu is emotional, physically delicate.
Linfamy: they like anyone with pathetic qualities
Me: someone build me a time machine - I'm making my way to Heian Japan
I have been binging this channel like mad….. so INTERESTING!
Never once I've heard of love through pity until today
😁👍
New person here!!! Currently binge watching everything! LOVE YOUR WORK!!💖
Welcome! Glad you like the channel :)
“Heian love was different.” People making themselves appear pathetic to induce pity sex or romance? I have a long list of films from the 90s that indulge in “Heian romance.”
My thoughts exactly. This video doesn't understand difference between fiction and reality.
Don't know how I found this channel, but love it
Some Chinese people that are craving might play something called a 苦肉计 witch is displaying weakness for love.
In in way I can understand this,they love the person for there weakness,they embrace the person for the way they are. But no kinky stuff!
Well, some kinky stuff
I'm not from japan but I'm japanese and I can agree weakness is attractive as long as they're not dependent on you.
Also it's not just girls that should/do show vulnerability
Many people don't know this but all across South Asia and some parts of South East Asia, seeing weakness as love is quite common. Infact, it's even the main plot of most movies and Tv Shows here
If someone had said something like that to me that they would just die if they couldn't have me I would personally give them a steak knife or tell them they still have their belt and shoelaces
Brutal dude...