INFP: 10 Reasons Why You're Still Single
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 8. 06. 2024
- INFP: Reasons Why You're Still Single
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đ Were my 10 reasons accurate? Leave a comment to let me know.
Since you know so much about relationships, do you have a girlfriend? Just an innocent question, not trying to be annoying.
Most importantly, I'm ugly and that's why I don't have a girlfriend
Next video "ENFP, why can't you just be single for awhile? Don't fall in love that quick" đ
Enfps: "yes we fall in love so quick. But the real love doesn't come that easy. It's different between "falling in love" and "love".đ€
I came home from a second date and heâs likely an INFJ and sometimes I think heâs too awkward, like I am, but maybe Iâm just used to dating confident guys I have nothing in common with lol. Number 5 hit me hard as I think Iâm still hanging on to a fantasy relationship with someone whoâs unavailable. I keep thinking to myself, one day heâll be single and Iâll be single but thatâs no way to live.
How this comment is 19 hours ago when the video was posted 5 hours ago
My biggest problem is that I'm more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than ACTUALLY being in a relationship.
CĂ©rĂšs usually when being in the wrong relationship... infp might have uber etherial wishes for what constitute a matchđ
CĂ©rĂšs when it not the right person..
True dis đ
That's so me! lLOL
Ahhhh yesss. I love the idea and the romance and everything about it except being in it....đ
Infps finding a partner: Nope
Infps imagining themselves with their ideal partner: Yes
I'm being called out=)))
I just feel like no oneâs good enough for me sometimes hahah
That's me and Y/n fanfics
@@Shyskynarwhal me tooooo, I feel like nothing is enough/what i want even when it's enough and what I long for.i just think too much like wtf is wrong with međ€Łđ
@@nickeni3050 yeahh, i get bored of them so fast after I know they like me , like I know theyâre a good person and all but I just I just lose feelings LMAO
1. Impatient for real love.
2. Not showing enough emotions.
3. Worried about being judged, but its about connection.
4. Not asking enough questions.
5. Stuck in emotions from the past.
6. Rejecting too quick.
7. Not taking advice.
8. Down on yourself.
9. Getting bored easily.
10. Accept yourself and your weirdness.
Hero
People like you are golden
Thank you âșïžâșïž
Fantastic thnx
I used your list and expanded it:
1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it.
2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly
3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected.
4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life"
5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships
6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time.
7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice.
8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together.
9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure.
10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person
I love you! You people, who summon up the video in the comment section, are the ones carrying this world
when he said, "INFPs are not naturally the kind of people who are... leading a conversation... asking a bunch of questions... trying to dig deep into the other person... INFPs are just like, 'I feel like that might annoy them.'", that hit me REALLY hard
lol yesssss, me everyday!!!!
Yes
Yep. Gave me more reasons to stay single
Yeah. I had to smile really big, because he hit that spot (and many others... what am I saying? All of them were a hit). ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
real hardâŠlistening to a strange yt man tell me about myself is wild đ
INFP: Having high expectations of people and higher expectations of themselves.
Oh my gosh....
This is so true!
true
Iâd rather be alone, than have a partner with issues.
INFPâs reject relationships with anyone who have deep emotional issues that they canât help mend.
Sadly it's true -_-
As an INFP: Iâll add another.
11: Stop trying to please the other person all the time. We often want to project the most pleasing image of ourselves possible so we can be liked, and we obsessively internalize every perceived change in tone and believe weâre hurting or disappointing someone when weâre not. What we need to realize is that other people donât necessarily WANT a perfect person who always says the right thing; they want a unique person they can invest themselves in. Our flaws and insecurities and awkward moments are okay and natural; everybody has them, not just us. So be yourself. If theyâre right for us, theyâll accept us. We canât please everybody.
Thank you so much. I kinda needed that right now
true
Well put, and true as well đ
Do we all have social anxiety/attachment issues???
This is perfect đ
Being an INFP and wanting to find a date like: "I deserve someone i can love." and "They deserve better than me..."
"INFP's are great listeners until you try to give them advice, then they just like turn that off" lol he got me
@Jolly Infidel I've never related so much to something until this
damn that hit different :0
true đ đđ
ENTP female here. Good info. But then again, weâre weird too and hate small talk and ground hog day!
@Jolly Infidel yeah, my mom always says I only learn the hard way lol.
INFPs are terrified of judgment because, internally, we are extremely judgmental and constantly hide it đ
True. I judge family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and obviously myself.
But I rarely voice my judgement, I just judge yaâll silently lol.
I think we aren't really more judgemental than the other types, it's just that we are conscious of it more often and admit it.
@@DevlVergil I agree! We feel like we're extremely judgmental because of our high ideals and inability to live up to them-cause we human.
Same, I think people will judge me as harshly as I secretly judge them and I've realized I am really afraid of people acting towards me as I sometimes react internally to the same things
Exactly! I'm extremely judgemental, eve if I dont hold flaws against people I admittedly seek out ros and cons of people in depth and the idea of someone doing that to me who WILL hold things against me when theyre bad but human... scaryyy
Frank James: makes a video about INFPs
The sponsor: a therapist
lmaooo, correct. :D
As an INFP I read a quote from a movie and it stuck in my head.. â that is your problem, you donât wanna be in love , you wanna be in love in a movie â đ
INFPs who arent single
how does it feel like to be Godâs favorite
Feels good! Thanks for asking đ€Ș
I mean, my darling and I are both INFPs, so....
Married to a handsome esfp. But i have no career to talk about and have an extremly low income.
It doesn't matter really.
I met another INFP, so we say "hi" and then go straight to asking if the other saw Jupiter last night... Yeah, feels pretty good.
I'm an unhealthy INFP and I find it unethical to enter a relationship without taking care of myself first.
I realized this recently too
I had this too. I've worked a lot on myself for like 3 years and I finally feel worthy and I finally love myself. I don't regret it at all!!
Yeah, Iâve come into that conclusion too recently but only after multitude of disasters.
Ugh exactly.
Same. I struggle with having self esteem, and if I don't like my body, how do I expect someone else will? Why would I have certain expectations for a partner but not expect the same for myself?
I would like to at least learn to feel more attracted to myself. I want to learn being confident and less concern about others' opinions.
I am an INFP
And ...
I am single because:
I am afraid of REJECTION
I OVERTHINK too much
I most of the time suffer with SOCIAL ANXIETY
I don't think I am capable of being loved.
I have very very Low CONFIDENCE
I think I am not charming enough for a girl.
And many more .
same bro, sameâŠ
Wow me
Im infp to, I have felt the same but you have to just trie even tho you might fail. Its scary ass shit but you learn to care less after a while
Lovely
Sameđą
Me, a happily married INFP, watching this, still amazed that I made it here. Still amazed that my spouse loves me, despite how much I disappoint them by being insane, forgetful, and super emotional. Only by the grace of God and more courage than Iâve ever used for anything else in my life! đ đ”âđ«
â€
Sarah, seriously, we have our faults but we have strengths that overcome that. Just be yourself, be the beautiful human being you are,
As a fellow believer, I noticed that it's easier for INFP females to get into relationships, not so much for INFP males. Because INFPs exhibit the most feminine personality and it's not really suitable for guys to be feminine (i.e. compassionate, expressive, nurturing, empathetic).
@Stewie Griffin Oh dear, I feel you man. Recently, one of my INFP male friends broke up from a 4-month relationship. His ex-girlfriend was the assertive and dominant one. Before they got together, it was his ex who initiated the relationship with him.
Usually, the more masculine girl would be attracted to the feminine guy.
@Stewie Griffin Yeah it sucks, but that's the thing, society should disconnect the idea that expressing feelings, being empathic, or nurturing are feminine characteristics. It's not healthy for men as well
âReality isnât your strong suiteâ
Yeah, never was a big fan of reality.
Also, social distancing comes naturally to this infp.
Yup
Oh god, when i heard about âsocial distancingâ im just meh, lol it just like people start to living like me đ
Lolyep
Facts, Iâm literally not missing anyone at all in fr fine
social distancing is my jam
Sometimes I think Iâm in love with someone however Iâm only in love with idea of the person
I couldn't relate more
Huey is my favourite character in the boondocks.
That sums up my perspective on love eeeek
100%
actually is it weird that i can see strangers in my dream? literally have a dream everyday of a person, i met while going to my dream university. dreaming of eating oreo cheesecake and double chocolate with him. iam so serious about love. but in this busy world iam afraid no one is serious about love. love is wanting to bake someone a meal and they loving it. love is like creativity. all i want is someone. love is not expressed through words, it's the damn actions. love is working harder, because you wanna settle down. true love is ethereal. i always felt that for that person.
âMy alone feels so good, Iâll only have you if youâre sweeter than my solitudeâ
The pain arrives when you actually find yourself good with a person and you start to think about them a lot but then you realize that for them isn't the same, so you are forced to repress your feelings because you don't want them to feel awkward about you...from a certified INFP
And then you cry after every interaction with them and misinterpret every interaction đ.
literally going through it rn and it feels like hell wtf
Oh my god Iâve experienced this, the realization that it was just me feeling everything so intensely brought me crashing down. I feel like Iâm always setting myself up for disappointment.
And at the end you really try to push that back, but you just can't. So you are like there loving someone that doesn't feel the same way and don't find interest in everyone else lol
FR. This happens to me a lot with one of my friends. I'm constantly thinking about her and what I could give her, I think of her when I see sunsets, when I listen to certain songs or read some cute quotes, and I feel like she doesn't feel the same about me, so I'm scared to express all this love I feel, it sucks.
FJ: "Number one reason you're still single INFP is"
Me: because I never leave my house?
FJ: "Because you want a deep love "
Me: đŻoh...
Lol sameđđđ
It scares people off. Now Iâm terrified of deep love, because I had it I felt (with an ISTJ), we broke up, and Iâm worried thatâs gonna happen again with anyone else I meet..
@@adaminflux Awe that sucks, I hope you find somebody soon who can treat you as you should be treated. đ Good luck! ^^
đ€Ł
@@adaminflux I dated an INTJ. Like a twin flame... now I can't kiss anyone nor do I want to even get close to people. Can't handle one more đ
Me, INFP: âI think Iâm ready to look for a boyfriendâ
* Sees a really cute guy. Hides in the corner *
Me when i have a crush : *ignores the hell outta that person*
Hides, plan escape route asap, Many people see this as playing hard to get.... they are kinda clueless.
Omg! I'm not the only one!đČđđ
Mollie Tenpenny i was until two days ago â assuming adorable infp was always dating the most adorable and very close to a fairy tale life... :/ um not my most logical ..
Yep
fictional characters can give me assurance of no betrayal
Me: i really like having deep conversations with people!
Also me: Omg i really just shared how i feel about that thing why did i say that.
Esp when you call out nihilist jokes or being satiric and cynical most of the time (on my case)
I have the feeling that something was coming up slowly and I pushed her when I had the feeling that she was trying to get close to me
HONK
100% yes. Thereâs a threshold in conversation that if crossed, I will feel regret and shame about âover sharingâ literally *forever* afterward.
âINFP fantasies a perfect relationshipâ
Me: *imagine having a relationship with my celebrity crush*
And then that crush is perfect.. until you actually met them in person...
Or my favorite Video Game characters...
Or my anime crushesđ
@@BINFP True
YEA U KNOW IT! đ€Ł when my ideal type is Seonghwa.. đ
I feel like weâre just walking contradictions lol. We need validation but absolutely hate attention. We are some of the most selfless people but at the same time canât get out of our own world and donât really think about others feelings. Or this is just me being crazy
ohhh the accuracy -___-
We do care about other people and their feelings but our sense of right and wrong, what we stand and believe in always overpowers
u right
@@polishmeow8298 Loved the "overpowers" assessment
@@hornsandfangs That's soo right
I'm an older INFP and all of these things were true for me at one time. My problem was always that I jumped into relationships too quickly, the whole "all or nothing" mentality. These days I see being "weird" as one of my strengths, and the interesting thing is that men seem to initially find it attractive but then seem to decide they want a woman who might be a bit more boring, but who is more practical. Which is fine, because that's not me, and I will never again try to force myself into a more practical mode!
I'm the male version of you
- INFP from Indonesia -
Agree that is so Me now I embrace my weirdness đ€Ł
I'm here as an ENFJ trying to get a better understanding of a girl I've started seeing who is an INFP. Apparently our personality types are supposed to be a good mix so I'm trying to make an effort to make her feel as comfortable as possible, especially since she seems to have low self esteem when it comes to her appearance, intellectually it's a different matter. Personally I think she's adorable in every sense of the word
nice research
There's actually a whole community of people just like me here in the comments I've never felt so understood đ©
If we could all just find each other, I relate to so many comments here...
Ikr
we should soo create a community to share our experiences!!
E Courtney weâd all be too anxious to say anything.
đ€
INFP: want a relationship but like they're own company the best
Not to be that person but *their
I agree with what youâre saying thoughđđ»đđ»đđ»
Me: âItâd be cool to meet someone, at least like a friend I guess.â Also Me: prefers own company, but of a social hermit/homebody, is ace and gay, avoids social media, could live as a crazy old cat lady and die happy, what do people my own age even like to do?, can live vicariously through shipping others, meh I could date in my thirties I got time...
Yikes, that's me
@@iunderstoodthatreference3347 haha oops didn't bother checking because I thought no one would see this
Isobel Wright oh okay I gotchuđđđđ»
"you're weird"
I felt that...
As an infp, the "lose interest easily" is my biggest problem. Like, i start like an person so i try make the person like me, but when the person stars like me I just "eww" and fell bad for making a person fell in this way :(
FJ: "Let's be realistic."
Me, an INFP: I know you didn't just throw the 'R' word at me.
infp, there is no reasonable comeback that erase to ' lets be realistic , other than childish outbreaks ' no, no heck no' .
hahahah totally. And when he said "INFP are great listeners except for advice" i thought "yep now why don't you shut up already" hahah
I hate that word đđ
my mind shut down when he said ârealityâ sorry never met her
A hard R too, not a soft R
me: omg i want a boyfriend so baddddd
guy: hi
me: ew go away
Life story
me tooo omgggg
đŻ EXACTLY!đ
I don't want no weird EXTROVERT SENSING person. Gross.
@@CaveyMoth I don't want humans in my life gross , can't imagine having a trash piece in my house that I call husband
I recently did a personality test just to see and got INFP. Figured Iâd do some research on it and it all makes sense. Iâm happy Iâm not the only weird one thatâs still single that understands these point lol
Itâs telling how many INFPâs like myself that are commenting do not use their picture for their profile pic, lol.
It took me forever to learn itâs ok to just take a date to a yogurt shop sometimes. I always felt like the date had to be elaborate or it was useless. I scared many girls away in the early stages.
At least I rarely got stuck in 20 questions mode. After 4 - 5 questions about work and hobbies I would have to go deep and ask questions like, âWhat gives you purpose and meaning in life?â At least that is a good trait in building relationships. Many women seem to appreciate that line of questioning more.
2:03 "they don't do things halfway, right"
My unfinished projects: "am I a joke to you?"
I feel attacked and I aint even mad lol
that's great 'cause he meant relationships :33
My INFP self agreed to this and then my procrastinator self popped and say "u sure?"
Iâm not just an INFP, I have inattentive type ADHD. đ
In terms of passion, not in work ethic :)
When you're an INFP in your twenties who's never, ever been in a relationship. ;-;
Yeah,I can relate đ
Can relate
Ayy what's good? đđđ
Just joined the club đ€
same ahaha
30 yr old INFP, still single. This rings true and itâs funny looking back at all of my relationships. Iâm guilty of all these things. I also notice I will sabotage a relationship or cut myself off from them suddenly because I fear Iâll be rejected by not only the person Iâm dating, but their family as well.
Iâm an actor and a writer, which fits my INFP personality, but at the same time I fear not being good enough for someoneâs daughter. My siblings are doctors, lawyers, and dentists, and here I am still wondering how Iâm going to support someone else, let alone myself?
So to avoid that pressure and expectation I just jump ship in the relationship before it gets any more serious, or I date people who donât have the best father figures because I feel like there isnât an expectation to meet.
Everything hurts being alone... I want to share my universe with someone, but IT's so hard.
1. 1:30 you want a deep love and you're too impatient to get it
2. 2:53 you don't show enough of yourself
3. 4:20 you're too worried about what others think of you
4. 5:40 you don't ask enough questions
5. 6:50 you can't move on from a past relationship or fantasy
6. 8:28 you're too quick to reject people
7. 9:50 you don't like taking others' suggestions/advice
8. 10:55 you get too down on yourself
9. 13:18 you don't like small talk
10. 14:43 you're weird and that's ok :)
đ©this hits home
Thanks!
Omfg this perfectly describes me i am scared
Well now we know. There's hope for change.
Fits me to a tee. (Except the taking advice part. )
INFP me: I want to be seen, truly seen... but I don't want to be looked at.
I want deep conversations... but without having to speak.
I want to see the world... but I also tire easily so maybe let's not leave the house today.
You catch my drift? It's easier to daydream about 'the one' and just live there instead.
I'm glad I found this channel. I thought it was only comedy sketches at first, but then found the 'armchair Frank' videos - thinking they'd just be parodies, but they turned out to be so real and honest instead; they've given me some much-needed comfort somehow. Now I can pretend to have deep conversations with FJ, without having to talk. Really, thanks for your content and for being so genuine. Hope you never delete the older videos.
relatable!!!
Omg ur ME!!!!
I literally wrote a poem similar to these thoughts a while back lol
that is accurate
i'm crying
I've just realized I'll be single forever
K
it feels like everytime i like someone i like the thought of them more than them themselves
I have no trouble dating, I'm in a happy imaginary relationship with that one guy I saw once on the bus but never talked to
It never goes away.
đđ€Łđ
"It's a blessing and a curse." đ€Ł
i'm in this picture and i don't like it
That's so sad. But true.
My problem is that I listen to the other person's problems, no problem, but if I say anything about my own feelings, immediately afterwards I regret it.
And then it's a step forward, ten backwards.
Yaro Silverstone EXACTLYYYY
I really relate to this
Hahaha. Lmao! So true! My ex called me a dancing queen. Cuz its always nxn backsteps hahaha
AAAARSKSASSRAAGAFAKKAJDGSKAL
THIS IS SOOO MEEE
EXACTLY
Notes:
1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it.
2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly
3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected.
4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life"
5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships
6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time.
7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice.
8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together.
9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure.
10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person.
This is based on the comment of @Suleiman Beshir , but I added more important information.
Have a great day.
yeah im an infp and I spent my life single. but I haven't given up, part of the romantic dream. But you gave out some great tips
Why me, an INFP, is single:
1. I suck.
2. Humans suck.
3. Fictional characters are better.
Nooo, you're still the protagonist of your own story and shit.
@@OneRadicalDreamer Sorry, but I'd rather be the antagonist. They have a much better back story and ideology.
@@kaoriheartfilia2783 Debatable, but you're still your own main character, and most antagonists think they're the protagonist anyways soooo HAH! Wishing you all the best reluctant anti-hero!
@@OneRadicalDreamer Thank you, but how in the world can you be this optimistic?
@@kaoriheartfilia2783 Idk, got tired of the hopeless INFP vibe, my life started feeling Kafka-esque without any of the romanticism. Just kinda started doing little changes and here I am lol, nowhere near where I wanna be, but at least I feel okay-sh?
"you're too quick to reject people"
HAHAHAHAHAHA I feel so attacked!
no for realđ
same đđ
đđđđđ I literally just rejected someone... But in my defense, I wanted to be his friend, he wanted more do I got annoyed and now I don't even wanna be his friend
I know exactly what I deserve and accept nothing less đđ»ââïž
bro the amount of people that i rejected đđ
The biggest thing that helped me:
Keep falling in love with yourself. Every day. You should always be the main character in your story. Once you master that, healthy relationships fall into place.
(I say this with the knowledge that INFPs typically idealise their partner and magnify them in their worldview, and can become untethered from their true selves).
The part about first dates is sooo spot on đđ. I really do hate small talks or mundane activities. Or people that just "exist" in life without actually "living".
I think that he isn't right. If you don't want to talk with person, it's because you don't like this person, not because you're INFP.
I am INFP and if I like person, I would be happy to do ANYTHING with him! Small talk, big talk, walking in park, going to cafe, watching the movie, ANYTHING!
Me an INFP seeing the title: iS tHiS aN aTtaCk??
đ€Łsame
I FELL SO ATTACKED BY THIS VIDEO but yeah now i know why iâm still singleđ
The title just kick me in the face đđą
I was like,. Frank's vendetta against INFP again. I think they are single because you can't have a big wedding during a pandemic! Oh, wait, wait.. It was nice. Well what do you know.đ Frank looks too happy! You sly dog! Looks too satisfied here. He won't tell us anything about it! đ We're trying to hear between the tones. Is that a silk hankerchief?
SAME i immediately said: oh so you HATE INFPs???
Me, an INFP with a boyfriend
FJ: INFP, WHY ARE U STILL SINGLE
Me: likes video
Ur the only Dislike đđđ??
@@temibossgaming8981 đđđ it says like lol
Lol yup.
Me: why are you picking on me, James?
Me: I've not really been single. Just feel that way.
Tell me how
same I'm not single but i still know i do this shit đ
âInfps feel deeply but they donât feel the need to show it.â
Yup definitely me
'INFPs are great listeners, except when somebody tries to give them advice. Then they just sort of turn that off.' That made me laugh hard, because it's so incredibly true...
"You can't move on from a fantasy of the perfect relationship"
I'm feeling attacked. Leave me and my daydreams alone đ
I thought it's only me, I'm glad now I'm not the only weird one LOL
I'm a confident INFP when i'm single. When someone starts being nice to me, confiwhat? đ
Yes! So true!
me too. I am learning boundaries, because one of the reasons I lose confidence is because my sense of self and inner voice grow unclear, I hear the other person way too clearly and I get resentful.
I swear.... đ
Oh my god, true
Hahaha, it's like "Who am I? Do I even have my own opinions? Why are you nice to me? Only because you want something?"
As an INFP may be these are the reasons why I don't fall in love easily but when I do I fall hard and deeply. I aim for relationship where both of us are like totally invested in each other.
This is partly the reason I ended up in a depression in my last relationship. My view of what a deep connection in a relationship was, was not reciprocated, but at the time I did not believe I could ever find someone else, and lacked the self respect, and the respect of my partner I suppose, to end it.
âYou donât know whatâs gonna happen 5 minutes from now, let alone the rest of your lifeâ just hit hard.
my problem is that i feel like no one cares enough to know about how i feel inside, I'm always showing a different side of me to people because i know they don't want to hear about what i feel in a certain situation. i listen to my friends all the time but when it comes to me, they seem like they're not interested and I don't wanna burden them. so i just deal with everything alone to the point i talk to my surroundings more than my family or friends.
Wow! I thought I was the only one that had this feeling!
Welp, you're not alone. It sucks sometimes & it can be a burden to carry your friend's problems & negativity around. But I also wonder if the people I know who don't seem to care just seem that way on the outside. Like what he said about infp' s & their tendency to keep their actual feelings on the inside, making it seem as if they don't care. Idk, people are confusing đ.
I have this issue but I also find that Iâm at fault for this. I want people to look at me and know something is wrong but in turn Iâve spent a long time learning how to mask my emotions. Iâm so dull that no one knows the difference. I am positive that for you and for me that opening up will not burden anyone. Your friends and family arenât just there for the happy times. They are there for you for the sad times. They will not know whatâs wroug with you if you do not tell them whatâs wrong. This isnât a tv show where your best friend takes one look at you and says exactly what you need to hear. Thatâs something we have to accept.
@@mentalkay omg true I'm working on myself đ
Couldn't agree more
When you have to actually talk to people to get into a relationship
Me as an INFP: my social anxiety could neverrrr
Being an INFP and having social anxiety is literally THE WORST
jinloovee IKR đż
@@Antonia-uc1iv true :// i literally vomit everytime my social anxiety peaks lmfaoooo
@@phia7329 that's fucked up. I hope you'll able to find a solution for that. â€ïž
As an INFP(-t), I really struggle with having these fantasies of how the perfect relationship and partner would be. Like I want to date someone who I have a strong emotional connection with, and have a relationship similar to a very close friendship, that's wholesome and cute and romantic. Oh yeah, and as an asexual person, I don't want intimacy... I need someone who'll actually understand me... I honestly don't even know if that's possible bc I don't even understand myself. I'm so weird and contradicting, and I have so many flaws and unattractive parts of my personality that would drive people away from me. For example, I can be extremely obsessive over things and people I like, and if I had a crush on someone, I'd probably be seen as clingy, and care way too much about them. I'm the sorta person who neglects my own needs for others, always putting other people first. I always see the good in other people and the bad in myself. And I'd constantly give people chances and end up getting hurt. And my standards are just so high... and despite being a very open-minded, non-judgemental person, whenever anyone is insensitive to me or my feelings I really get put off... and then I make the assumption that I'll never find anyone real in this world because they're all horny and insensitive which is... the opposite of what I want... but it doesn't make sense, it would make me a hypocrite to not give them a chance, like what this is so contradicting lol I don't understand myself... oh yeah and, I'm always fricking daydreaming about fictional characters rather than real people. I believe I've only had crushes on like 3 people irl, 2 of which I lost feelings for after realising that they were too insensitive for me... the third is an old friend I hadn't seen for a while so I'll have to get to know them better bc it's been so long... but I know I like them because I've been thinking about them a lot... and I feel like such a kid too, I turned 17 a few days ago yet here I am, obviously thinking in a very immature way, not wanting to grow up, not wanting things to change... yeah, I'm gonna stop now, it's not like anyone's reading this rant, if you are I'M SORRY LOL I FEEL BAD BYE-
I really don't know what to say ,except that you're not alone. I mean finding love in the life isn't the only thing to do. I have thought of it myself,and I think it's okay if I don't get into a relationship,I know I'm too hard on myself,and that it feels bad when people take advantage of me,taking me for a fool. But here's a saying in Hindi,which goes , à€šà„ à€à„ à€à€° à€Šà€°à€żà€Żà€Ÿ à€źà„à€ à€Ąà€Ÿà€Č! Telling myself that it's okay,if the other person did wrong by me,atleast I was being genuine in how I acted with them,and will have nothing bothering my conscience. That helps me a lot. So,yes it's okay to feel confused and out of place. You're a young girl. I'm 19 and the experiences that I've had in the past two years have made me grow and be in peace with who I'm. I hope it's the same for you. Just be kind to yourself.
Also,English isn't my first language,so this might not exactly convey what I wanted to tell.
Bro, I mean that's exactly something i would write and it freakes me out, literally the thought flow, it's me
SAME WITH THE ACE THING. For me it's also because I'm lithromantic (I like to fantasize about romantic relationships but I won't do anything to make them come true) and sometimes it's hard for some people to understand that like yeah, I like you, but I don't want us to be together (actually there's a song that explains it: despair by leo).
Idk man, I just feel like nobody will understand how I feel, ever.
I think a lot of infps don't really enjoy the idea of one night stands or hook up culture, so when they find both that, and actually pursuing somebody with the intention of being in a relationship with them difficult the headache is mind numbing.
Frank: "You don't show enough of yourself"
Me, an insecure INFP: "Why would anyone in my relationships want to know things about me? I'm not that interesting..."
Laughs in enfj
This is honestly me. I always think I'm so boring so I always think "Why would anyone be interested in me in the first place? I'm quiet, haven't done anything outstanding, and when I do talk it's mostly stumbled words and random outbursts." đ
Its funny because usually INFPs have so many hidden talents and unique interests that it certainly makes us more than âboringâ... but when it comes to talking about those interests and hobbies most of us just prefer to avert and talk about the person in front of us instead đ
Its funniest when theres 2 INFPs together and they keep going back and forth between trying to avert the topic from themselves and trying to make the other more comfortable etc but its contradictory and like an endless cycle đđđ
I am an infj, and some of my favorite people are INFPs. terrific people...very very interesting! Love actual conversations with INFPs...not surface level...actual conversations. Keep your head up. The universe is just weeding out the people who are superficial and damaging for you, you sweet INFP.
A friend of mine said exactly that this week "you always listen to me, but I feel that you never talk about yourself" and I just answered "It's not that I don't trust you enough, I'm just not interesting at all. I have nothing to tell you"
I didnât know INFPâs felt like people are always watching them. I feel this all the time and it gives me anxiety. Iâm glad Iâm not alone. đ
I always feel uncomfortable because i always feel like everyone is watching me. My mom says im paranoid. My movements becomes stiff and animated and so a lot of people think im weird
This is how I felt when I visited the US for the first time. I went to a City Club, I tried to not catch anyone's attention (but my family was SO noisy, I felt so embarrassed).
Yesssss ! I had to get on medication for the anxiety. It really helps !
its called paranoid ideation
Same
This is very relatable đ đ coz when i told the girl that i loved her, she said âyouâre not in love with me, youâre in love with idea of being in love with meâ that hit hard and never really got up since lol
Frank, you have no idea how much your video helped me in getting to acknowledge my flaws and ways to improve it. Your advice not only improved my current relationships with my boyfriend and best friends but also helped me meeting new people too. Thank you!! I am so much happier now and I grew so much as a person.
me an INFP: ah man I'm tired of being single for 3 years now.
2 guys confess to me in the same week: HAHAHAHHA WHAT NO friendzoned
But why, are those guys just not your type?
@@waayneinteressierts9704 yup exactly. they're close friends of mine and not my type romantically
The exact same thing happened to me. I see them as friends, and theyâre both very unaware/uncaring of their surroundings
Omg so true, one of my friends confessed to me just now lmao
@@Blue-lc5np mate you're a Chris Stan, you got high standards no one can beat đ
We DETEST small talk. Couldnât have emphasized it better myself lmao
oh God, hate small talk so much. It feels so good to be with someone and not talk at all. The other day someone told me "we had been together for a while and didn't talk all the time, there were long silent moments" i didn't even notice.
me an infp liking small talks...
of course, only when I'm texting on my phone with people I like to talk to. I hate small talks in real life. When I have small talks I go oh god what do I do now this is awkward and when we settle down on our phones I'm happy:)))
Maia Oh depends on the person, really
i literally sweat uncontrollably at the thought of small talk
edvard skryten definitely
For me I feel like my standards are set so high and I refuse to lower them for anyone I end up being alone. and whilst I know it's unrealistic at the same time it feels like unless a person is this certain way that I've made up in my mind then I rather be alone anyways because I'm not going to love them and be happy.. It's honestly strange.
I'm INFP too but I've grown very self aware over the years and have adapted to all these tendencies that I naturally have. I mean to say I couldn't relate with a lot of the negative points that were said here. Like I do want the romance and high emotion and would love to have the "love at first sight" kind of thing happen where I'm very invested from the start but I know that this is not what real life is like. That happens but it's very rare. I'm fine with mundane stuff as long as I know I have a partner to trust.
âReality is not your strong suitâ
WHY YOU GOTTA CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT
LOL! Seriously....I like my books and my thoughts more than I like most peoples' conversation.....
Me when watching this video be like: *nod, nod, nod, cry, nod, nod, cry, cry, nod, nod, cry, nod, cry, nod* :))))))
Lol
Sob
i'll just nod, i've never been so good at shaking hands
omg me too i was just looking into the mirror nodding and crying lmaoo
This is such a mooood
counter-point to #1 is the exact opposite. You form a crush too quickly and if by some fluke you think you have a connection, you can't tell if it's real or just your imagination getting excited.
Am both Pisces and infp đ youâre absolutely right about the question part but sometimes I use this against weird people and let them feel like theyâre annoying me to let them gather their own dignity and leave! đ
"You won't feel much in the early stages of dating"
Me: But that's boring i'm out
fr tho lmao if I don't feel anything for the other person I just reject them, I think it's a waste of time to be with someone if I don't even feel anything
Yeah. I can't do that. If I'm not 100% I am 0%. Theres no cute middle ground where I can explore my feelings. I'm either burning hot or ice cold.
I just have this fantasy that I'm going to feel an immediate connection or like a good vibe from the person
@@thaliaayangla7492 tell me. Why should we settle for less than that? We lives once dude.
@@rred8674 same!
@@rred8674 maybe more in hinduism
When he said "let's be realistic" my first thought was just ew.
Damn međđ
Ahahahaha so me!!
Right
Lol i can definitively relate
I hate reality. I hate mundane conversations. But thank you, for the heartfelt advice. I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship... my heart's exhausted. I don't see it in my future. I don't see it for me. But then again, who knows what will happen in a day or two from now, yet alone 5 minutes from now. :)
He's like talking directly to me... Like he sees through me... He described me thoroughly! Somehow I feel like crying while he said all those things.. However these are my conditions as INFP...
1. I have a very strict family who forbid me to find men for dating...
2. I was told by a boy when I was in college "NO GUY WILL LIKE YOU... YOU'RE WEIRD"......... Do you know how that statement gave an impact to me as an INFP? From then on I always believe nobody will like me...
3. Tried to have relationship with some people... I tried my best to change myself for them... Scared what that boy told me to be true... I let all my ex boyfriends to control me... I let them violated me inside out... Physically... Emotionally... Mentally... Financially... Those were the darkest moments in my life...
3. Those dark moments were 11 years ago... After that I told myself not to trust anymore men... I don't wanna be violated again... I scared I won't be strong enough to hold my ground and protect myself... My family said they actually worried about me since I'm too open minded...
4. Now... I tried another method of finding a partner... Currently I'm trying to use a matchmaking programme which I think is more trusted and reliable... I hope... I can give another chance to myself...
Listen.
First of all, people who let themselves to say something like "nobody will like you and be with you" aren't those people who should be listened. They aren't smart. If you want to know the subject, you will listen to a teacher who understands the subject, not some dumb student who knows nothing about this subject and can tell you some made up things.
So don't listen to stupid people. You're not weird, you are just different and in a good way. You need except things you like about yourself and don't let anyone criticise those things. You know yourself better than those heartless guys.
Next thing - you need to find a guy you will be comfortable with and the one you can trust and the one who appreciates you the way you are. Don't push yourself into dating with someone you feel even slightly uncomfortable and not enough appreciated. Also there can be guys who you would think they are in love with you but you will be uncomfortable with them. Don't date with them! It's a trap! They seem nice and in love, but they don't see you the way you are, they are in love with some image of you in their head, not with real you.
You need to feel comfortable, protected, loved, appreciated, understood and so on.
And it's more realistic than it's sounds.
And of course you need to feel something too for this guy, otherwise it will be one-sided and it won't be fun for both of you.
Only 10? Maybe things are not so bad after all.
Nobody said the list was comprehensive lol
hahahah
Lmao
i need this kind of optimism in my life
I chase people who don't like me and ignore the people that do.
this is exactly my infp friend đ
@@delll372 Hahaha! I'm trying to change that now. Like now I try to notice if people want to talk me.
Yes.
Saaaaaaaaame
Same. But 2 days ago I decided to go for the guy who actually liked me and now we are together so idk maybe try out going for the ones who like you and maybe youâll like them too
This kinda ties into the 9th point: as an INFP, I prefer longing for something than having something, including a relationship both in general and to a specific person. Because once you have something, you start to realize how imperfect, how shallow it is compared to what you had imagined. And so you start longing for something more, something deeper.
"Stuck in emotions from the past" Damn okay, like...? LET ME FEEL!!!
But also yeah you're right
I'm glad i found this channel
"why you still single, infp?"
because i have this idealistic romance on my head and i can't get over it
I was JUST talking about this with my mom. "You probably don't date anyone because you want a future-husband kind of boyfriend" is what she said
I donât really see the issue there? Does that mean someone loyal and long lasting? I sure hope so.
My mom be like: Why are you still single? You should be married now. Why no one of my children are like me who got married at 20?!
LOL I don't think she meant it but more like she wanted children in our home. It's just too bad for her that I ended up INFP XD
ugh this :( i donât like casual dating
That's me lmao
@@kristinegangman7756 not "too bad", she made you like this with her parenting methods.
Frank has such a strong physical resemblance to my recently deceased life's partner, that it really emphasizes how I can't get over the loss. I know it can't happen again in the same way, since we were childhood acquaintances who happened to end up in the same state, and then reconnected. We shared experiences of living in the same unique home town, and got closer after I was widowed. Here I am widowed again. My partner was also a professional 'giver of advise' who so strongly influenced me that there are things I am still doing to meet his approval.
This is a wonderful video, the best Iâve listened to this far with regards to an INFP. As an INFP male, your video discussions are on point. And I appreciate the comic relief. Iâve found it necessary to laugh at myself as a means to breathe through life. Also, great comments everyone- enjoying the reads.
"you want deep love but you're impatient to get it"
THAT'S JUST THE FIRST AND IT HIT CLOSE TO HOME THERE
True true
We hate reality
YES
So true
True
youtube recommended: âINFP, why youâre singleâ
i feel attacked
also everything he said was pretty accurate tho
i don't know why this is recommended to me too
I could never express it so clearly. You've just unveiled my life.
As an INFP guy, I appreciate this video and your others, Frank. You're doing a great job sharing insights to help us understand ourselves better and live happier lives.
We don't say what our emotions are half the time because we have no idea what our emotions are half the time lol.
I think we feel emotions at a very nuanced level and it's hard to put them to exact words, and we don't like it when we try to express emotions and people misunderstood it as something else.
I can put my emotions into words well but when I do, people start to worry about my mental health đđ They don't get that that is my normal and I feel misunderstood and put inside a box... again.
No
Yeah, I don't know how to name my emotions, and I'm afraid that if I do and I name them wrong I'll feel it a lot stronger than it actually is, or something like that.
Yep!!!
Me: infp, gay, never leaves the house, doesn't meet new people
Also me: Oh I wonder why I'm still single clicks on the video
Same đ€Š
ME
Gay infp is another level of difficulty in dating đ
I relate...sigh
Same
This is so accurate that it's really helpful. I've watched it twice.
I thought I was in love once, thought he was my soul mate and he was my first love. I was also his first "love" but he cheated on me after 3 and a half years. After that I moved on and met a really toxic and narcissistic guy who abused me. Now I'm in love with the fantasy characters in movies, the idea of letting someone touch me repulses me but I keep going back onto the dating sites. I speak to someone for a few sentences and then get bored instantly. I'm extremely jaded and I'd rather be in my head than let someone touch me physically or emotionally. It's like I've got a phobia of it now. Any other INFP's been on a similar journey?
hiya, im kinda late but im so sorry you went through that. im not sure if its a similar situation, but the end result was. i met this toxic guy when i was thirteen. i felt like i was in love, although i knew nothing about him. he made it really hard for me to leave him because he kept manipulating me and threatening suicide, which led to me being completely emotionally dependent on him. 5 years later i finally broke it off with him. now, 1 year later, i still cant really let anyone emotionally or physically near me, i just close off instantly. im so scared of being used, lied to and hurt again, although i wouldnt mind being in a healthy relationship with someone, my mind just wont let it happen lol. same thing with being bored of people instantly, i probably also have really high expectations now. i guess id just rather stay in my head and dream of the perfect relationship :â)
Sorry to hear this. Very understandable. I donât have all of those elements, but can relate to some of what youâve shared. Have you tried focusing more on having some healthy friendships with people? I had to start there after bad experiences with guys, and eventually I was able to be more comfortable again with trying to date someone. It worked out for me and now Iâm happily married, but it took quite a few years of recovery and exploring safe friendships with people, especially guys, before I was finally able to accept being with someone again. Iâm not saying what worked for me will work for you. Maybe youâre not asking for advice, but felt like it might be an interesting conversation.
First guy I ever dated had all of the red flags of a toxic person so what I did after that relationship was just consume a bunch of information online about how to avoid those types until I was confident to date again. đââïž
It took a few years. Then I became confident I could sus out the bad apples and met someone pretty cool. It takes time though, and assessing people takes time.
I donât allow myself to instantaneously fall in love with anybody, that got me in trouble a few times. I also assessed myself and the mistakes that I felt I made that allowed me to fall for bad types, like that one. âïž
You project all these good qualities onto them and then when reality hits you realize they are just a degenerate bum. Charming, but a bum. đ
In the end, I still believe that there are quality people out there to connect with. That there are good people, who want to be in relationships and have good minds and good hearts. â€ïž
@@sarahs.9678 good advice! Start out as friends! For me itâs hard to with someone I am attracted to but it gives you time to truly know who they are
"INFPs don't like listening to advice."
Me, an INFP, watching this video: But that's why I'm here-
Literally... I have to rewatch bc I forgot every sigle advice he gave
Yeah, but are we going to TAKE the advice?
@@VivaCohen probably not, but then we'll randomly remember it at a later point in or lives and be like "Damn, I should've listened to that advice," and then stay up all night thinking about it
I actually know why Iâm just kind of watching this to confirm that my theories are true. I ainât gonna change myself though.
VivaCohen slowly
Before watching the video, I'll try to answer myself. As an INFP, I think because
(1) We know exactly what we look for in a person/relationship. This cancels out many possible partners easily.
(2) INFPs don't play around and are not for casual dating. INFPs are only in it for long term and serious relationships. We are always in search for the "one".
(3) INFPs easily forsee what could go in a relationship, the conflicts, matching of personalities, values etc.
(4) INFPs could set a pretty high standard as they do for themselves. This is due to their idealistic and perfectionistic tendencies.
(5) INFPs can take a long time to open up. They can be highly suspicious to anyone's intentions. They are always checking if someone's being genuine or putting on a show. Consistency and patience are key in getting your INFP.
(6) INFPs are quiet and will not strike first for a conversation even through moments of awkward silence unless they find you interesting or kind (we won't be quietly rude to nice people).
(7) INFPs could day dream their relationships with potential partners but won't take the necessary actions in the real world.
(8) INFPs are individualistic and may not find the need or prioritize to have someone in their lives. They don't expect or depend to anyone their own happiness.
(9) INFPs can be oblivious to others liking them. They won't believe you like them unless you tell them directly or show clear signs such as giving flowers but anything niceties will only be perceived as niceties. Tell your INFPs straight you like them or else they'll think you're only being friendly.
(10) INFPs can be hard to read. INFPs may seem neutral even to the people they like. They may be giving the wrong impression or signals or may come as off to the people they like. You won't even know an INFP likes you.
I feel like...exposed
*This is so exact*
Very true
You a legend!
Ohhh maaanhhhh,,,,,,i,m like this its to true ...i avoid my crushes even when they show intreasts in me....i avoid them and testing them ...only i open up to them after i understand they are worthy for me...but i daydream them ....because in fantasy world any thing possible....we can see them as like we want..we can create our own characters to them....actually we are in virtual playground managed by our mind...we are literaly god in there...while we daydreaming...our life is a miracle...we are one of a kind...proud of it...
That 6th one absolutely KILLS it for INFP males; we're VERY RARELY going to take that leap, and it takes A TON of mental prepwork to even consider. With extroverts, they're typically more chill about it, whereas people like INFPs have the habit of being awkward and stumble over their words a lot. It's seen as a weakness by many, and while there's nothing wrong with it, it makes it all the harder to express ourselves like we want to.
Thank you, FJ! Self-love and care, all the way! Love and appreciation to all! Please continue to stay safe and healthy!
As someone with an INFP personality, I have gained valuable lessons from my past experiences and relationships. I have come to realize that instead of constantly searching for someone, it is important to focus on being true to oneself, finding inner peace, and gradually building meaningful relationships with friends or a significant other. Although I express my emotions openly, I have learned not to rely on others as much as I used to and I often cherish my time alone. I tend not to take advice at face value, preferring to observe situations with my own eyes and make my own decisions. While I now have a more realistic approach to my career and relationships, my core values of loyalty, kindness, and helping others remain unchanged. Looking back, I regret staying in past friendships or relationships, despite seeing red flags, that I now believe were not compatible with my values and beliefs.