I believe INFPs are most excited about learning about themselves because we are some of the most misunderstood. Most other people arent as enthusiastic to learn about their personalities
true. I experienced the same. And I think INFP's are also the most excited about learning others than the people about themselves. Ever since Im familiar with the MIBT (?) test, I often ask people around me to do the test. ofc I know I cant say they are 100% what the test result says but its accurate at least 80%
Seriy Lee I did the same as you XD I'll ask around and observe people since I found the MBTI test. And I've found that my friend is an INFP too (so, I observe and realised that we almost had the same mindset... kinda scary actually when you predicted her way of talking, action and stuff)
Yes, as an INFP I find job interviews difficult precisely because "tooting your own horn" feels so unnatural to me. Also, because it involves being asked personal questions, having to think on the spot and vocalise your answers, being stared at by a panel of strangers taking notes as you speak, etc, but number one I find the whole setup of 'selling' yourself quite alienating.
Yes -- good times, good times. ;-) You know, that whole selling yourself thing . . . I may have to do an entire video on that one day, because it is such a "thing" with any of the INFPs I've asked about it. 'Selling yourself' is right up there, just ahead of 'drowning bags of kittens,' and just behind, 'cleaning out the grottiest, farthest-away cranny inside a dirty fridge every day for a year' on their lists of 'Things I Like To Do.'
I just never sit around thinking about my qualifications and talents. I can always find some reason why I'm lacking in some way. But f somebody else states a qualification I assume they have it 100% down pat. I'm always surprised when I do well on a test. And like Meriwether, it's really hard to perform well when I'm the center of attention. After it rains I go out and save the earthworms on my patio, so the kitten thing would be like 1 million times harder than cleaning out the grottiest fridge. And yeah, my badassery is standing up to powerful people who are wrong, especially when they are hurting someone. Sometimes ill advised when you are a skinny weakling. I was so relieved when I got to Highschool and discoverred the bigger older kids didn't beat me up anymore. And people say INFPs aren't badass. Discovering that I'm an INFP and not just weird, dumb, shy etc. was very liberating, a series of cathartic experiences actually.
Aw, saving the earthworms - I can so relate to that! Ever since I was a kid I would 'rescue' bees that had fallen into the swimming pool. And I know what you mean about how liberating it was to find out about personality types and how there are other INFPs out there who have a similar way of looking at the world and deal with the same problems as we do. :)
I’m an INFP and I think in some ways I’m a private person but at the same time I will always share my thoughts with people if they want them. However, my deepest emotions are kind of inaccessible to anyone who I don’t know really really well. Part of it is I could never even explain the way I feel to people who aren’t INFP.
same for me exactly. im very to my self but honestly, given the chance, i’ll talk about how sad and lonely i really am for any form of attention. but once i do that, i feel so empty. it has almost become my only personality trait.
Yeah that’s why I don’t as much want to really be with someone who isn’t either an infp or enfp. I want to be understood but I can’t be understood by others unless they’re like me. It is just not something that you can really explain about yourself.
I’m an INFP male. When I was growing up, I was very sensitive, couldn’t handle any criticism and I felt different and misunderstood from everyone in school. I was very insecure and lacked confidence and I overthought everything. However, I always knew about the potential I had if I fixed all of that. The biggest issue of all, was my self-esteem. For the last few years I’ve worked on all of my weaknesses and I feel like a much better person. For fellow INFPs, if you simply learn to love yourself and keep a growth-mindset, that’s only the gateway to endless possibilities of your true potential.
I can really second that based on my own experience. Growth mindset, for me, provided like a liberation from my self-inflicted emotional wounds. INFPs are really good at being hard on ourselves. Learning to accept that we're always learning and growing, and will improve in time (things we so easily accept in others!) is the key to self-acceptance and true personal growth. Meet yourself where you are, and remember that every forward step, no matter how shaky or small, is a step forward.
Yeah being an INFP myself, I’ve struggled with it a lot too growing up. I suppose since guys have to be extroverted due to societal standards but I never fit in that category. I like to be by myself but I often doubt myself if it’s just a coping mechanism for loneliness...
yep! all the tears and all the pain brings a flipside of joy, mirth and genuine wonder and affection for everything around us. It's like we're little factories of bipolar emotionality haha :D
I'm an INFP, and I have my own way of using a pen, my parents, teachers and friends used to tell me " You are using the pen in a wrong way" and I used to reply " as long as I'm comfortable and you can read what I write, I will keep using it that way"
Same here! Teachers always told me my pen grip was "wrong" but I kept doing it my way because it felt the most natural to me - and who gets to decide there's only one "right" way to do it anyway?
I am an INFP too - Funny, same here..my friends nd colleagues sometimes used to remark on d way i used to grip d pen while writing..dey said i hold it in a 'reverse' manner..
What is surprising to most people is the inner strength of the INFP. We appear so sweet and are generally humble; most people mistake it for weakness. Attack our values, or harm a vulnerable defenseless person around us and watch out! Our pur turns into a roar!
Most people see me as quiet, calm, and in control, but If I perceive an injustice, if I am disrespected, if someone is being mistreated or bullied, I will erupt without warning.
-Yup-.- :-) Woops. Sorry, Gert Samson. I missed the quotation marks at first and thought you were observing something in me. Ha! Fits, though. There's a reason so many INFPs take to me in real life. We usually get a lot about each other easily. Per your lament -- my sympathies. It's very intense, being an INFP. Takes lots of guts all the time, and the glory from the wider world comes but occasionally.
Your absolutely right about an infp being humble. This is particularly difficult for me being a recent graduate, having to go to interviews and expect to be talking about how wonderful I am. Ew.
@detergent Be mindful of the words you use and how they affect your emotional state. I feel INFPs often struggle in life because their experiences in life make them feel unheared, misunderstood and invisible. For me that lead to having a disempowering self-image where I thought very negatively, being very harsh to myself, I guess it was a kind of coping mechanism, so people could not hurt me anymore, at least not worse than my defensive thinking did hurt myself. What helped me to outgrow that coping mechanism is to become more assertive, practice self-love and being clearer with my boundaries. For a long while I was stuck in the past and the fights I had with bullies, but I slowly learned to let go of those stories more and more and try to live in the now from the heart, instead of in the past stuck in the mind. Spiritual teachings like Eckhart Tolle and similar have helped in that regard. Anyhow the reason I am responding to you is that I currently read "Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins, he writes a lot about Transformational Vocabulary and the importance of deliberately choosing your words in a way that you don't move yourself into an emotional state where you feel like you have no ability to improve and grow. So here are some things I noticed: your username is detergent For me a detergent is something that cleans up stuff, but it can also be toxic when consumed, hazardous for the environment it also seems to me to be something that repels fatty particles, so it could be described as repulsive The whole name makes me think that you define yourself in opposition to what does not seem right to you, I did that for a while too, but why not use a name that stands for what does seem right to you! seeking a job for years With this it seems there is too much focus on the seeking and not having, instead of trusting that it will come and allowing it to happen. I know that sounds loony, but I guess eventually spirituality seems to make more and more sense when you are open to it. I would recommend listening to Abraham Hicks youtube videos about receiving. it is so hard to selling myself well If you think this way, your subconscious will make it so, at least try to exchange some words for softer ones and more empowering ones. What about: I am an INFP I am very clear on what I do and what I don't want, because of my integrity, there are many jobs that do not meet my standards, because I want to work in a place that aligns with my values, but I also realize that I sometimes have to stop trying to find something perfect and instead trust that I will have the experiences that I will need to have in order to grow and learn. Furthermore I do not "sell" myself, instead I am just me and there is no need to sell myself, instead they get the chance to choose me and if they aren't able to see the values that I can bring to that company's endeavor than another company will. Although I think I am suitable for the jobs instead: I am a creative humble person exactly what every good company needs I think I have zero confidence I struggled with that myself. But now I think: There are lots of areas in life that I have not yet explored sufficiently and that is why I am currently not confident in those areas, but I am resolved to becoming my fully authentic best self and that is why I again and again, pick myself up and take one little step towards, facing the next area that is unknown territory for me. And the more I do this I realize that all that held me back was fear, fear of looking stupid, being ridiculed etc. and in the end it turns out that reality is often far kinder than what was imagined through fear. I keep failing to be hired Failing is a good thing when there is something learned in the process and we can grow from that learning so that next time around it will be different. So my questions are: What are you not seeing? Maybe you do not want the job you think you want? What does feel right to you? Do you love yourself so much, that you still love yourself even if you don't get the job? If not, why not? Why is that job so important? Maybe what you think you can get, from getting that job, you can get some other way? Maybe you can create your own job, doing something you truly enjoy doing? I have depression You are connected to your inner world, there are so many people out there who appear to be functioning on a superficial level, but are addicted to lots of things all in an attempt to distract themselves from dealing with their inner world, so in that regard you are already one step further, you have faced your inner world, be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, think highly of yourself and in a kind way. Often it is easier to be kind to yourself if you pretend your helping someone else. Connect with your inner child, treat yourself doing fun things that make you feel that you are taking care of yourself and check out videos of Teal Swan, Infinite Waters, etc. And change your words for example Ralph Smart changes depressed to deep rest. Because it really is like your spirit/soul/inner world is drowned by the stormy and demanding external world around you, so you have to create space so that inner world is able to calm down and heal and your different parts can reintegrate with another. Mindfulness, Heart-space meditation, breathing exercises, cold showers also help. The last one helps because a cold shower immediately brings your focus to your body and the current moment, thus stopping any kind of worrying thinking about "futures that should be avoided". There is no future, only the present moment and in the present moment you just do one little step towards a better direction then yesterday. Well this turned out way longer than I had anticipated. I hope it makes sense to some people and is helpful for some of you!
@@fefswfae242 thank you for your comment, it's really insightful, comforting and motivating. I realize it was directed to someone else but I just find it very kind of you to type such an elaborate comment to help and motivate someone, thank you again ♡
@@Lisa-qt4hh I had forgotten that I wrote this comment, it is great to see that it reaches people who appreciate it. I guess people who are drawn to INFP videos, appreciate long written texts, had different experiences in comment sections of other kinds of videos. Have a great day! ♡
I GET TOLD THAT IM VERY ARGUMENTATIVE...NOOOOOO I JUST DONT LIKE PEOPLE THINKING IM A CERTAIN WAY OR IF I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF I WILL BC I WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH SEE WHAT IM SEEING. THATS NOT ARGUMENTATIVE.. THATS BEING WHAT YOU SAID "AUTHENTIC"
The_Creation 927 RIGHT?? Sometimes I worry I come off as defensive, but how can I not be when they’re constantly making claims about me or treating me like I’m stupid/naive?? They always tell me to not care so much and let it slide, but why should I? And if I do, they’ll only do it more.
The_Creation 927 What other people think of you is not ANY of your business, please don't try and change other people's perceptions of you, you'll go insane; it's a waste of your energy for goodness sake! When you're older you'll get it fellow INFP. If you're sticking up for the underdog we can be diplomatic and tactful in getting your point across to disagree. YOU CANT MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SEE THE 'TRUTH AS YOU KNOW IT', that's ridiculous and very unhealthy INFP underdeveloped behaviour. Good vibes to all xx
Oh yeah, from my experience the INFP girls I know are super playful and fun and shy at the same time. Their humor is more spontaneous than I think you pointed out. One my cousin INFP sometimes makes jokes that don't make sense because she's always in her own world and my other friend uses play on words. But they are both really really good at writing. I feel like the beauty of infp is giving them a pencil to write or draw with. They're much better at explaining things in detail than intp imo, because they make it an art, where intp get too detached and not as easily understood by a broader audience
Very accurate. People either laugh their ass off or look at me and scratch their head as I laugh my ass off. I have no gray in that. My sense of humor us dry and quirky at best.
omg, my humour is so weird. Inspiration can strike at any moment and when it does everyone is just staring at me confused while I laugh at myself... Sometimes I don't even remember if I remembered to say it out loud😂
TO ALL INFP'S ok so this is how I feel about myself. Tell me if you relate. It's easy to make friends and even easier to keep them. But it's hard to find true friends the ones who are willing to go the full length. The ones who are there no matter what. I can have only one or two true friends too. I have found that truly authentic people aren't very prevalent. I always can feel how others feel. My empathy is very high. I can see through others eyes and relate easily but never take on there views as my own. I hold my own views and values in highest regard. But if I find I am mistaken or wrong about something or someone I can change easily. I am very adaptable and can get along with anyone even animals that are rather grumpy always are quite and nice around me. I have noticed since I was young that I always defused negative emotions and thoughts and events very fast and effectively. I have found I am smarter then most when it comes to science and knowledge of a vast variety of things. It seems like I know about things and situations even if I have not experienced them in this life. I'm very open minded. I could never physically hurt someone but hurt myself daily. I am extremely spiritual. And hold my spiritual growth in higher regard then my physical condition. I cant be around allot of people for long amounts of time. And some people seem to drain my energy and life. I search for truth and understanding in everything I do. And everything others do. But I never take things at face value. I believe life is deeper then what's seen on the surface. And I totally believe we are all equal and spiritual connected. In some way or another. There is allot more to me but that's the basics. Am I alike to you other INFPs?
99.9% like me too. I hold my spiritual growth way higher than emotional, physical conditions. I would break away from 7 year relationship that is comfortable but not serving or detrimental to my spiritual direction, even if that means I have to sell the flat, stand on my own 2 feet again, experience being single again which I would hate to be alone.
I really appreciate what you've said here. INFPs are essentially an amalgamation of the 4 qualities considered "lower" in American society. Extraversion is valued over introversion, sensing over intuition, thinking over feeling, and judging over perceiving. So it is very common for people with these "lesser" traits to think that there is something wrong with them, because such people don't receive the positive reinforcement from society that the other personality types receive. For you to frame these traits in a positive way is a good thing and personally makes me very happy to hear.
Thank you for a great comment, Brand_D. I'd like to put this dovetail to what you've observed: All 4 of 4 INFP temperamental leanings are _coded feminine_ in our society. That they're considered 'lower' is a matter of sexism, and it's a total fucking shame for everyone, I believe, that that's the case.
@@philipdru4782 Your statement makes no sense. Perceiving types value staying open-minded and keeping options open, while judging types value making quick decisions and decisiveness. It seems very obvious which of the two would be more likely to be judgmental.
Jennifer Sotelo you don’t strike me as an INFP at alllll... I feel like you mistyped yourself. I looked at your CZcams profile and it came nowhere near close to what a true INFP’s should look like. Most INFP’s are drawn to being different... and you liking “Lil Peep” is more of like following the crowd (which INFP’s generally hate to do). So I mean, I’d take the test again if I were you and answer honestly and accurately next time. I’ve taken a whole bunch of different tests multiple times and the results all came back as INFP. So I’d redo the mbti quiz if I was you. You don’t strike me as an INFP at allllll
@@justanotherloser2572 Your comment is the worst thing i've ever read. Her liking Lil Peep's music doesn't mean she is blindly following a trend. Besides, Peep himself was an INFP.
My name is Ransom and I am an INFP. I was watching your video when my 3 year old daughter wanted to hear what I was listening to on my headphones. So I put one of my earphones in her ear. After intently listening to you for a minute, she began kissing the phone. I can't stop weeping as I am writing this. She kissed the video side twice, then the back of the phone. I have only recently been able to emote, as I suffer from cPTSD, and now I can't stop weeping. First because of what you have said, and second because my 3 year old daughter knew... she knew that you were loving (me )through your video. Thank you. Ransom Lopez Husband, and father of four.
Ooooooh, Ransom Lopez. [virtually rubbing your back] I'm so sorry you've had experiences leading to that condition. (I know something of it myself.) Thank you for telling me that. I wish you much healing and inspiration and love along your way.
I too have PSTD I read raging narcissist personality disordered people just love to get ahold of personality types like us that is the main cause of my PSTD I idealized not only him for awhile but the flying monkeys (if u know narcissism lingo lol) around us. I got completely chewed up my heart turned half black, tryin to restore it thru self love n the few who love me.
One thing I find hard about being an INFP (but I'm not sure if it's an INFP thing), is that I'm very much "both" in every kind of situation. I'm very diplomatic and quiet and understanding, until I'm not, and then I'm a fierce warrior who will strike where it really hurts. I'm also sociable, but I kinda hate being around people. I'm also gender neutral, which feels like the same sort of deal, where I'm both of something. Is it just me? I'm born between aquarius and pisces and alot of INFP traits seem to match those signs, but surely we're not all born on feb 19th.
I’m totally the same, only I’m a Scorpio. I think the emotional instability and intensity of the Scorpio sign also fits the INFP personality really well.
I find it really fitting for aquarius/pisces (aka 19 feb) cusp to be infp ;3 even though i have libra in sun sign, i still have a lot of scorpio in the natal chart and i would describe myself somewhat between infp and enfp...i bet we would get along quite well
I'm a fiery Aries with Gemini moon, INFP with INTP tendencies, Chinese Zodiac is the snake, and my life path number is 1. If there's anything I'm missing, tell me and I'll update!
Hello fellow INFPs! I discovered a few years ago that I'm an INFP and the self-understanding and self-acceptance that began to come from that was wonderful! At least we get each other and ourselves a little more now! Sending you all love xx :)
Discovering that I'm an INFP is the greatest thing that happened to me because now I know why nothing seems to work out for me in this world. I've been approaching life in a way that doesn't match up with my characteristics. Now I can modify my approach
Same here. For me it was just accepting reality. It centered me, while at the same time I was learning to accept myself. Now, I love that we have such great level of empathy. That I’m not the only “weirdo” in this world (I dislike that we are called odd and weird btw). Also really knowing how to describe yourself is wonderful. Confident individualism, will help you through anything, just keep negative voices away from your ears.
@@americoleal344 I think we're the non weirdos in a world full of weirdos. Most people want others to accept them and modify themselves into something they're not, for other people who are also putting on masks for acceptance. People mostly care about how things look to others instead of how they actually are. Who can one be other than themselves, including flaws that need to be worked on? Others only see an approximation of who I am, and through various lenses of cognitive dissonance anyway. I see, but mostly ignore the power struggles of people trying to prove they're better than others out of feelings of inferiority. Who cares? Doesn't anyone know we're all part of, instead of apart from humanity, or that each of us is alone in our own head, no matter what we do? Humanity swims in an invisible cesspool where they feed each other's egos with lies, both negative and positive. I feel like an oasis of authenticity in an empty, barren wasteland of soulless beings because they feel lack. They don't want purpose or meaning, they just want to be liked (worshipped), and to control each other to exalt themselves as God. I just want to be me, according to my own unique purposes, and gifts for sharing/expressing them. What else could I be?
I'm very grateful for you CZcamsrs who reach out to us INFPs. I think we need the understanding and support the most, at least in many cases. Especially us guys.
I used to be made fun of a lot. But as I have learned to own my badassery people regret trying to make me feel less than. My go to phrase: “It must be horrible to feel an almost compulsive need to conform. I can see how my originality triggered within you feelings of deep dissatisfaction. You must be really unhappy with the way you show up in the world. So I won’t take your comments personally. Heal your wounds or you will continue to bleed all over people who didn’t cut you.” -then I offer a Kleenex. 😁
If I were to say this in a male-dominated area, lol, the negative backlash would be enormous. Political games you wouldn't believe. I've tried similar things in the past only for it to bite me in the ass. I'm a male INFP. They'll see this as controlling in a negative way. My advice? Also add something to disarm yourself. Something that gives room for positive interpretation. Dunno what that'd be, but if you figure it out let me know!
M SC I get that dude, so many guys want to compete, and when you’re that honest they want to fight you and take you down. Sometimes you’re just trying to help, because you genuinely feel bad for them because they have values we see as negative
This is all very true. As an INFP, I have learned time and time again that I am sometimes the only one standing up for something while others usually aren't. There was one situation at an old workplace of mine in particular that really drove this home for me: I got back from my break and got told that the boss had verbally insulted and screamed at the young intern in front of everyone until she started crying. That he would be willing to do something like this wasn't really all that surprising, because you could sense the kind of person he was from a mile away, but what shocked me was that no one did or said anything..even though several people were watching it happen. They just sat there until it was over and let him get away with it without any repercussions - but then told me how horrible that was afterwards in quiet. That must have been so embarrassing and maybe even traumatic for the intern, because it was straight up abuse and I would have been so embarrassed for not helping her. Thinking about it today, still makes my blood boil. I do not get why everyone enabled this behavior. I would have 100% intervened - whether I would have lost my job or not. I also stopped two men trying to steal a bike in the middle of the day in the city center one time. Out of a large group of people watching them, I was the only one to say something and chase them away in the end - and I have severe, debilitating social anxiety and hate confrontation. I really don't get this kind of enabling. It's why horrible people exist in the first place and can keep hurting others. I could go on and on with this rant tbh XD
I’m an INFP and I really hope to cross paths with another INFP in person and feel the connection of that conversation. Life is fucking insane. Every night I’m just like.... this is the earth realm... we made it. Every single moment to me is so sacred. I’m so hidden out there. Not one single person knows who I am and I have my polished case of ten thousand masks. In my solitude i release it all and in that being man it’s so worth it. It’s so hard to even Leave a comment like this, I feel like I’ve said way to much. It’s such an intricate existence. But the challenges are fun, the suffering is more than worth it. To know it will always be like this brings reassurance instead of dread.
The suffering is what makes things worth it. For me, happiness is more than just being in a "higher" mood, but rather rising from a miserable mood into a higher one. It's the ascension that gives an amazing feeling of contentment and happiness, more so than always being happy. I also understand what you're talking about, when you talk about masks. Changing your personality, speech, actions and even beliefs (at least the one you show to the public) depending on who you're talking to. Unfortunately this isn't usually healthy. I did this mostly during my people pleasing years. Laughing at other's jokes, even if they were both unfunny and maybe even mean/cruel. Never responding to a**holes that came after me, and making myself a worm. Flattering people, making myself small, being fake, etc. It's actually a terrible state of mind, as you make yourself vulnerable to narcissists that want all that flattery, and someone to use as a punching bag. It can be difficult, but be your true self so unfailingly that it doesn't matter if you offend bad people. Be a good person without being timid about it. Don't randomly disappear from people's lives (for people that are important to you) because they accidentally or unconsciously upset you. Be open about what they did to you. People that are worth keeping in your life will try to understand! Be yourself and don't like things because other people like those things. Enjoy your own music, hobbies, games, friends, activities, movies, etc. Go against the grain, if your honest feels go against the grain.
Shauna Willis HI Shauna I don't know how old you are but give it time your hidden independence will slowly come more to the fore as you get older, I think as a defence as your exposed to more and more disappointment with others until when day you wake up with the complete realisation you are quite happy with yourself and you don't need anyone else's acceptance. You will feel liberated and realise most of what makes other people unhappy is they don't possess enough independent thought to accept themselves and look for continued outside acceptance and validation. Trust me you'll be fine.
Thank you for bringing out that infps refuse to be part of a group that doesn’t mesh with their ideals. And that they can be very unapologetically badass about this, leaving this group or refusing to do things according to the traditions of this group. I always wondered whether it’s my rebel in me but I never quite identify myself as a rebel as you mentioned I’m very soft hearted and not rebelling for sake of rebelling. I never could pin point where my refusal to conform to certain groups come from. Until now, it makes full sense
Exactly. I've left jobs because they pretended to have the same values but when issues arose they were shady, greedy, and not at all aligned with the values they proported to have. Issues always bring out people's true values.
Hi, Charles Benson. A lot of INFPs are bullied as kids (and some as adults too.) And most of them endure it no matter what the arseholes lob at them by way of taunts or even fists. They are less likely than the vast majority to suck up or change themselves in order to have an easier time with jerks and idiots = more of what this video is about.
Charles Benson Bummer about the "tougher", I'm sure you would rather have stayed pliable and open. It really sucks when stupid people say and do things to make you clamp shut like a Venus flytrap. Too bad they weren't edible or digestible, at least you could get some nutrition from it. 😜
Yes. When I was bullied at school I made a conscious decision not to conform. I could see others do this and felt e it is kind of like selling your soul.
Brings me back to when I would get flaming red in the face anytime I had to do public speaking throughout middle/high school yet I took my time speaking + looked into the audience even when my voice was shaking and face was turning shades. You can imagine the commentary of my peers but the proudness of my teacher hah.
Not recognizing social structures or values I disagree with... something I've valued throughout my entire life and wondered why others around me are incapable of.
maybe your social structures and values are just good for you or in other words "aligns with your inner values", and if you moved to another country or place, you might change your mind...
They are capable. The issue is that all T or J or S types will be seeing your and your ideologies with lack of interest. Plus, they don’t appreciate how INFPs live in a dreamy world and are always screwed in this planet about practical things.
It's because we're only about 4% of the population. We and INFJ's are two of the rarest types. And thus we're even more lonely, because not only are their so few us us, but because we tend toward hard isolationism (most through self reflection and not literal physical) and introversion.
I'm an infp and have shared way too much at my new job, due to nervousness, and a desire to try to be an extrovert (night-shift work) .. it has caused so many problems. I've isolated myself from ppl for the last 3 months and have been almost puppy like with the people around once starting at this job. And i would like to say that you are most correct. All evolution happens through stress, but the uncomfortably of being noticed by people due to all of your mistakes is so hard. But, this too will pass, like all things. Thank you so much for sharing your information on infp's with us!
I feel so identified with what you said. Now I'm in the situation where it starts... So I'm so scared, I get so disturbing when I start feeling so bad around people and they can see it, my mind plays tricks on me. I want to think I can face this
I totally get it. I want to socialize and be known but then feel bad everytime i open up cuz i was born strange but at least im good at my guitars and foreign language. I get it i love people but hate them too, they are predatory in groups.
INFP can be an unstoppable force, but has to struggle against the immovable SJ. And in this struggle, SPs make for fairweather friends and NTs can't see why it matters.
Magique Oracle - Yeah, every time I watch it I am transfixed by it. It's very unique and therefore difficult to make comparisons with other films but I watch a lot of movies and feel like, in a way, I am always looking for that same feeling that Waking Life gives me. The few that spring to mind that remind me of Waking Life to some degree are: Radio Free Albemuth (2010) American film adaptation of the dystopian novel Radio Free Albemuth by author Philip K. Dick, which was written in 1976 and published posthumously. Interestingly, one of Linklaters other films is an adaptation of A Scanner Darkly, which is also a Philip K. Dick story. You probably already know about that, though. Also, that last awesome monologue in Waking Life is Richard Linklater himself and he talks about Philip K. Dick. Unfortunately this film can be a little hard to find. The Holy Mountain (1973) Alejandro Jodorowsky tried to film a real illumination, making his actors act without a script and living real introspective experiences while being taped. All the film is based in the eneagram's personality theory, and the final turn of the movie tries to traslate the actor's experience to the viewer, changing his point of view from a mere spectator to a live doer. There's a narrative, but the whole thing is *very* surreal. I am also a big fan of a screenwriter/actor/director called Brit Marling. Her recent series on Netflix - The OA - absolutely takes me to a similar place mentally and is thematically linked to Waking Life. I have seen all 8 episodes twice and want to watch it again before season 2 comes out. She has 3 other movies (The East, Another Earth, and The Sound of My Voice) that you can check out if you like The OA. Another Earth in particular could probably join this list. Well, I could talk about movies indefinitely, so I might go now but I hope this message was helpful.
Omg you're a doll, like for real, I will definitely look into these! I'm actually trying to find something to watch tonight so I might look into The OA first. I LOVED the Holy Mountain, truly one of my favorite movies since I watched it and I loved how you could make different interpretations from it, The ending was awesome. I actually had NO clue it was about the enneagram but wondered with the 9 people. Thanks! :)
Absolutely hit the nail on the head with the ability to disregard social construct if it doesn't align with our values. As well as the constant existential strain weighing all the constant thoughts and theory's that shape all my very detailed beliefs.
As an INFP people, I assume, tend to think of me as 'open' about my thoughts and emotions. And I am, because I believe in authenticity, but I only divulge things that I (personally) do not consider personal. It seems to create an interesting dynamic of others assuming they know the full extent, or close to, of my personality when in reality it may be but a fraction. You explain the fragility yet assertiveness of my INFP personality so eloquently! :)
at age 52 (2022) I did the test and found out I'm INFP. Good to finally realise that I am not a mental case weirdo!! LOL Wish I did it/knew 30 years ago.
I have been bullied and victimised badly twice in the workplace. If you knew me, you'd see I'm bright and capable. I have talents and incredible insight into many things. I am a problem solver and have been praised so much in my life for my work and achievements. But when I stood up to my line manager in my last bullying and harassment experienced, he did all he could to prove I was all of a sudden incompetent. It made me feel absolute disgust toward him and everyone who did not stand up for me. I was given money to not take them to court.. Imagine how much evidence I had against them for what they were doing to me systematically to kick me out. I was told by many that i was a threat to him because I was a problem solver, i was quiet and passive and then all of a sudden I stood up for myself. Can someone explain why this has happened to me twice? The last thing I am, is an idiot. I could see what he was doing and for 4 months I recorded everything that was happening.
whoami arseholes are jealous that we can achieve more success in a shorter space of time in the workforce than they can so they attack and bully us. I have had this happen all through primary and secondary school and so many times in the workforce both in paid and voluntary positions that I’ve just fuck it I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not I’m going to go work as an actress on my own terms like I should have done over 20 years ago
I think part of the challenge can also be that others are really really obsessed with what people think about them. INFP is more obsessed with maintaining their own integrity and authenticity, and won't sacrifice that to make other people happy. When people who spend their entire lives giving away and denying little pieces of themselves for others' benefit see someone like us, they can get really angry and jealous. "Why can you just do whatever you want? Whatever you *feel* like doing? And I can't?" Not realizing that we do make our own sacrifices; we just know ourselves well enough to know we couldn't live the way they do. It's barely a choice for us. We have no choice but to be what we are. To be any other way wouldn't be a life worth living.
whoami As an infp you will have fun learning about people. So read a shit ton of stuff about narcissism. This way they won't even try to disturb you. Because you are prepared and they smell that.
INFP: Thank you so much for making these videos! I was only recently introduced to the MBIT types. After only a week I have already been able to understand my way of thinking soooo much clearer and I am already starting to improve myself in I ways would have never thought of before. Again thank you!!!
Victor Lockwood, I'm so sorry it took this long to catch up on your comment (and others that came in during a busy time). I'm so glad you've been enjoying them and that you're getting a lot of validation and usefulness from the MBTI. That's what it was ever designed for. :-)
Being an INFP before the knowledge of this was the hardest life. I'm so excited and happy about finally hearing accurate descriptions of myself and from strangers that NEVER use to happen.. I can tell most anyone about themselves but never received the same. Pretty Awesome..
I am rather fascinated by all personality types but mostly INFP and INFJ, as we have a lot of similarities, but some pretty large differences, too. Do you think you could do a video about INFP anger? That's always been interesting, as I've heard multiple takes, some stemming from non-INFPs saying that we're like baby bunny rabbits in fight. Others say we tiptoe away from conflict. But I think personally, INFP's experience much more potent fury than people imagine. Off topic, but I love your hair!
Thank you, 恵美子 H-San. :-) There are many more MBTI topics I already had in mind to present on; I've not given much thought to that one, and don't feel very qualified to address it. I think an INFP should do so, as that person will surely have more that's valid to say about it. I too, however, can imagine that anger -- as with all feelings, from what I can tell -- is very intensely felt by unblocked INFPs. I think it can tend to be extra hard for them to manage when it is -- especially when it is felt towards a loved one. I think it's extra hard for INFPs to resist turning anger inward, towards self-destruction. They might like to fling it outward as any human is tempted to do when the suffering from such a painful emotion (covering up an even more painful, vulnerable one) gets bad, but a dom-Fi INFP will tend to have a harder time just going 'unconscious' and dumping their anger on someone else by, for example, doing something petty, unfair, or mean, just because it's convenient and gets them quick relief. Something like that, which puts them at odds with their values (= the worst thing for an INFP), is especially unlikely to 'sit right' with them vs. with most other people. INFPs are among the least likely to give themselves a pass for a moral transgression. That said, with their high emotional sensitivity, they might be prone to being a bit snappy, moody, or irritable sometimes. Most INFPs would feel very bad about having treated a loved one unkindly, however, and would usually be quick to apologize -- especially if they can see that they've hurt someone's feelings. When an INFP can abstract the cause of their anger, however, it can be a whole other story. That would be, for an INFP who hasn't yet matured and found constructive ways of coping with their very strong emotions. If, say, the anger is directed at the figurehead of an enemy of one of their cherished causes, and if that INFP hasn't (yet?) acquired a good measure of wisdom and maturity, then the bitterness and fury of their wrath could be immense and quite awful. Those are the impressions I have 'off the top of my head.' What do *_you_* think? P.S. For me -- in terms of theory, and in how I experience directly the many INFJs and INFPs in my life, the MBTI-accounted for *_differences_* between these types are massive. For example, I think ENFP has ever so much more in common with INFP in terms of what people of that type _are deeply about_ than INFJ does -- both at the surface level, and at a much more intimate level, where selves can be known.
@@EnidFPatternson *raises hand* I don't know if I can speak for all the other INFPs, but I can certainly speak for myself. I don't enjoy conflict. If I have the opportunity to avoid it, I will. I think that is why we may be viewed as meek or timid. The "baby bunny" if you will. However, if conflict cannot be avoided, I become closer to a coiled snake. I strike fast, I strike hard, and I go straight for the heart of the matter. Unfortunately, I don't know if that is from the INFP or the product of an abusive childhood. I'm very good at hiding my anger, and at times can seem apathetic or uncaring. It's entirely the opposite. I keep my anger in check so I don't hurt someone. When my true ire has been aroused, everything goes cold; physically and mentally. It's like the door that holds back my inner demon is thrown open and heaven help anyone in my way. Once the door is closed, I just become tired. Bless my husband, he's been an immense help. He's been working on learning my tells, and I've been working on communicating when I start getting angry. It's really helped with raising our son. He's 3 now, and when he is in trouble, I can keep myself in check long enough to simmer down.
Wow... great question. I am an INFP, and very peaceful and all of that, but I absolutely have an angry side. I reign it in, so that I don't use it against anyone if at all possible. I would never want to harm someone else in any way... but I absolutely know there is a line where all bets are off. I really would not like to be in a place that was over that line. I am no fan of conflict either... but at a point of righteous fury, look out, because it is coming!
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... as I read your comment about her hair... she reminded me of Ally Sheedy for some reason. I thought her look was cool as well. I grew up in the 80's and something about her look spoke to me. LOL. But I am an INFP, so I could just be weird.
I love videos like this because I'm currently writing college apps and, as an INFP, it's difficult for me to really sell myself as a person (the way you mentioned in this video) but when you analyze and discuss INFPs I feel like you are actually talking about me and I'm able to find strengths within myself. Thanks so much!
When I was growing up I would always wear clothes that I liked, even if they were kind of weird to everyone else. Because of that my best friend at the time once accused me of wanting attention, but she really missed the mark. If I could wear an invisibility cloak over my weird clothes I would, but I can't just do what everyone else is doing just because "that's how it's done". As I've grown, I've had to learn how to balance what I like/value and how people perceive me.
Thank you for this. Found out I was an INFP-T a few months ago and ever since I've been obsessed with discovering more about my personality. I believe we are all very unique individuals but these MBTI categories show us the common traits within our types. I'm also an ambivert so I struggle with wanting to keep things to myself and sharing my talents and personality with the world. In other words I struggle with wanting to share things for fear of seeming egotistical. Being humble is highly important to me. I'm also very passionate about my ideals and values.
Wow, I was meant to see this video today, and its very reassuring to know I am being true to my own self. Earlier today, my sister and I got in a big argument over my choice in...lets just say, my choice in not doing something everyone in society is being pressured to do today. Her argument for why I should do it is because all of our family members have done it, and because according to the mainstream it is "the right thing to do." For my own personal circumstances, it doesn't make sense for me to make that choice with all things considered for how my environment in my day-to-day life looks like. My choice isn't specifically being made out of wanting to rebel from the mainstream...however, my choice won't be swayed solely based on giving into pressure for what the mainstream calls for. If I were to change my mind, it wouldn't be for the reason of fitting in. Thats something my sister might not be able to relate to. I've been called weird my whole life because my decision-making process isn't decided by what everyone else is doing, and that's okay - thats just affirming to me that I'm staying true to my own self no matter what that looks like. I would feel uncomfortable making a choice for myself based on someone else's belief system versus my own. I rely on my gut and intuition with many things, and if that doesn't make sense to someone else, thats fine...this is my journey in life after all and that is their's. -an INFP woman in her late 20's
I enjoyed your video very much. I have only recently come to discover that the oddity that is me is not such an oddity after all. I've been fascinated by all things INFP for a short while now. Thank you for your contribution to this discussion. I haven't met many people with a grasp of these concepts, sadly. Keep up the good work.
Starting to regret putting INFP into the search bar as a passing curiosity. Sensitivity doesn't necessarily imply fragility, it depends on how well you can influence your environment as well as how much you let it influence you. INFP make great leaders. As I matured I quickly learned the world will rarely live up to my ideals (you can learn to accept it, you have too) but even knowing that I'd still rather be stung and think the best of people, makes it easy to find the keepers. I was once thrown on a stage in front of hundreds of people in a loin cloth and since then interviews and more inconvenient aspects of introversion don't impact me too much or at all, don't get me wrong, I'm still very much an introvert, but social anxiety is something entirely separate and it's very important you distinguish between the two. I take a great deal of pride in my work and I feel I have allot to offer. So if you're a fellow mediator, you know your strengths better then anyone else and while you probably wont brag about them don't let your initial resistance get in the way.
Intellectual words enunciated well. An intellectual look, sweater with scarf. Quiet corner with books, a place to think. Enid appears well spoken and smart. Then she drops that INFP's are "badass". That alone IS badass! It's almost impossible to recognize that when observing oneself. For as good as we/I are/am when looking at others and understanding them, trying to do the same for oneself is the equivalent of psychological feedback. Ever point a live video camera at a TV or put a microphone too close to a speaker? Well, that but with consciousness. Thank you for your point of view.
When I’m taking a shower I turn the water off until I’m done lathering and ready to rinse the soap off of my body. People call me weird because of it but it makes sense to me. Proud INFP
I've gone through periods of doing that too, Flair Jordan. (For reasons of water conservation and because -- yeah! -- that is just what makes sense, especially if it's all the same per efficacy of cleaning and to your comfort.) Along similar lines . . . Just the other day an INFP friend mentioned feeling guilty about her big boxes of sale Halloween candy she's been working her way through, ha. Because she's so worried it's not normal to love chocolate that much, or because she'll get >FAT< and no man will ever love her, or something stupid like that? Of course not! :-) It's because she feels bad her consumerism had any teeny part of occasioning the wasteful and extra pollution of all those little plastic wrappers for the same volume of candy available with less packaging. And so many heavy Fe-users unaware of Fi-typical trains of thought think INFPs are cold and uncaring, hahaha. If only they knew the crushing moral weights xNFPs tend to be involuntarily obsessed with trying to negotiate every day of their lives! There are exceedingly few, 'Yeah, whatever,' 'Everybody else is doing it, so . . . ' social-responsibility 'Hail Marys' any xNFP can breezily avail him- or herself of.
One of the most extraordinary aspect of this personality type is we have such love in our hearts. If our friend was in need of help or support, we are there in a flash. This is a part of this type that is very rare as people can be very selfish and money-focused presently. We love healing other people. Ourselves on the other hand, we don’t heal ourselves but we try to be content in our own bodies and channel our intense creativity (Mine being poetry and songwriting) And just in general being content. I am sensitive however I always get myself back up no matter what is thrown at me. We don’t give up. We take a break. But we don’t give up.
This was awesome. Thank you. (and as an INFP, the Depp video warmed my heart in so many ways. Mmmm thank you. I can relate and empathize with how he's feeling so much.)
It's so lovely to have found a video about our badassery, when all descriptions focus on how peaceful and overly diplomatic (almost pushover-y) we are. Thank you for this empowering and wonderful video ^^
I know this is two years old, but thank you for this. I've never heard anyone so clearly and succinctly express the nature of my experience in the world and I am grateful to have stumbled across this video.
An INFP that does 'toot their own horn', can do well. Look at Daenerys (yes she's fictional but) she is always this quiet emotional being but look what she becomes. Look what people see in her. I think she's a great example of how badass we can be.
"Determination of what one values that's independent from the group" ...this made me understand myself a lol better. How cool is this. Thank you for making me see my flaws as strengths and love myself a lot more xx
You really are a star for doing this video,I've watched it several times over the past year and it still feels so,so accurate.You really get us don't you,and I love your eloquence with words :) Its always nice to feel appreciated,so thankyou,and please keep doing what you do so well,peace X Ooh,also,I hope you don't mind but I posted a link to this video on the INFP subreddit as I love it so much,I hope thats ok.
I am an empath, a Cancerian woman and an INFP. I have a Tarot channel and am the epitome of what an INFP is. I totally dislike organized ANYTHING and dislike religion and politics also. A an older and more mature INFP and already acknowledged as an INFP I am also single and very happy being alone. I am alone but not lonely, it’s a wonderful place. ♥️🥰
I love your explanation! Thank you so much! I'm an infp and this validation of my experience is so uplifting. You are spot on in how I shy away from bragging and talking about how great I may be. I have said "I'm not saying I'm better than them. I'm saying I don't understand how they can do that to someone." I will be watching this over and over. Lovely!
thank you for this video. You described the INFP downfalls and conquers well, and I especially loved your Elliot Smith reference! - INFP trying to find my way
As an INFP, I don't think I'm terribly private; its just that if I am going to reveal myself to someone, its going to come from a place of friendship or in the interest of trying to help someone. I actually enjoy storytelling quite a bit and don't mind putting my own personal experience out there. It just has to have a purpose, otherwise I keep it to myself.
one strong decision i made as a young INFP (at the age of 11) was to turn my back to religion, i am mexican and all my family it's catholic... when I started to form my own moral view of things I was so against the way religion merchant faith and spirituality, my family was surprised that an 11 year old was so out together with that decision that they end up accepting it because they knew I wasn't being dramatic or doing a show just because I didn't want to go to church that day, I liked your video it gave an explanation to that event in my life hahaha I used to think that was strange the way I suddenly was in a fight mood when I'm usually very calm
@@thedudeabides3930 well I guess each to their own moral and spiritual ways, I'm aware that catholisms can be the answer to someone just not for me, but I'm glad that your religion gave you peace and the answers you were looking
Thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️‼️ I’m 28 years old and have just found out I’m an INFP and I resonated so much with the beautiful things you said! Thank you! I have felt so misunderstood my whole life and the only thing I crave is authenticity and kindness.
Beautifully described... I'm watching this video over and over again during the years. And I feel seen... and comfortable! And yes, Johnny Depp smile is a pure poetry... And I think that he is an INFP too, yes... So authentic, real, the truth is so important him, soft spoken...I feel all of that deeply. 🙏🤍👁🤍🙏
Thank you for doing this. Even before I did the mbti a few years ago, I began reflecting on myself as a kid. If I got in trouble, if someone was upset with me, I needed to understand why. I've lost two close friends throughout my days back in school. I supported them in every way I thought possible, and it wasn't until recently that I realized that I unconsciously adapt to the people I speak with. I say to my close INTJ friend, who is the only friend I keep in close touch to, "it was one outburst on me (in those 4 years), I was stressed, it happens. They understood what was happening with my family. Just because I cope easily, and ignore a problem until it's escalated, doesn't mean that they can hate me. It doesn't mean I've given up. I've tolerated everyone in our group, and now suddenly I'm the bad one?" Even though I defended them for years, I instead found myself feeling more alone. Once you let people in, and all they do is take, we isolate ourselves. We sound superficial, and no, this isn't me crying a river. I wish people would try understanding our efforts. We take so much energy into pleasing others because then we feel good. Who wouldn't be, seeing the ones we care for happy? And, with no context given, my mind is on overdrive, I couldn't agree more. I'm always thinking of my faults and how to improve them. It's important to me to accommodate others, that way they will stay with you and I feel safe. Once a close bond is formed, that's when it feels good and comfortable being more open and crazy and just me. We are quiet, but don't be mistaken, we are very autonomous. Being surrounded by many people is draining with how much effort we go through to listen and learn. Being one step prepared in thought is reassuring. We are debaters, we spread our interests for posterity. Just get us unwound and we'll talk like crazy, we are passionate. It doesn't mean we value something more than the other, everyone has something they care for deeply. It's important for us to get our message across, but we get scrutinized for it. That shuts us off. I lost another friend, who I thought was very close to me. You're right, authenticity matters. Hence, my regard to my INTJ friend for his opinion, "what did I do wrong?" According to him, because I came off too extreme in our shared interests, that this person pulled away from me. Despite my careful and gradual search in finding supportive friends who could accept me. But, here I am, patiently waiting, and continuing my reflection. I can't thank my INTJ friend enough for his opinions and our disputes. It's great when he asks for my opinion. Apparently we both tend to get lost in our minds, so when he is unable to understand a person's reaction or response to him, I step in. I think this our best strength, being able to grasp all sides of the coin, and interpret it. P.S. It's true that we talk to ourselves. It's strange, but the world is vast, and as long as we're distracted, the worries and need for people is gone. Our ideals matter, but for the most part (me personally), those ideals will always benefit someone else. If you're going to disagree with it, we need a reason. We don't toot our horn unless we feel comfortable, but even when we do it feels selfish. It's better said as, "we don't have time to toot it, we have to do better. Make use of what we've learned. Don't make the same mistakes." Gosh, it's so uncomfortable. But, it's true that if we're asked to speak we do it with our hearts, if they ask for it.
It's nice to be understood and acknowledged occasionally, so thank you for that. There are so many apparently INFPs on youtube here saying that the type is this or that because it's their personal experience. This vid seems to funnel more accurate (and should I say researched and/or scientific) INFP traits into one description, and it rocks. Now to check that Johnny Depp link. Peace.
I still do. I'm lawless, I don't follow rules at all. I think it's the Sagittarius in me. As soon as someone tells me something isn't possible, I try to prove them wrong. When someone gives me a riddle, the first thing I ask is" how long did it take you?" And then I try to crush their record!
@@justanotherloser2572 LMAO!! I'm gonna tell about this INFP female I tried to talk to. I never met a INFP, my game is pretty tight, but she wasn't trying to hear it. I get off at 5:00, I'll tell you about it when I get home.
OMG, I realate so much with that clip from Johnny Depp's interview. I even tried making my own youtube channel and gave up on it because i simply DEPISED watching myself after the video was done. By the time i was editing it looked kinda cool, and I wanted to show the videos to everyone around me, but later when I tried to watch it, it'd give me so much anxiety. It's really weird. I feel like if I was an actor, especially a famous and successful one like him, I would absolutely NOT want to watch my movies. I'd watch the first few ones but later on i'd probably cringe so much
I adore your title of this vid. I have the biggest smile on my face and giggling to myself. I too am an INFP. I've always been a little off center... and soooooooo sensitive. We're also really nice and so some underestimate us. That's a big mistake... just bc we're nice doesn't mean you can get one over on us. Thing is, when other's don't think we have a clue, trust me we have a big clue! We see exactly what's going on, we just don't say anything bc we're watching, we're feeling your vibe, we're picking up on non verbal, tone of voice, all kinds of information that nobody else does. Thanks for your info I wasn't privy to a couple of things. Lovenlight
As an INFP I clicked powerfully with what you said about an INFP getting assertive about "what I meant." I recognized a long time ago, long before I ever looked into any of this MBTI stuff or heard of INFP, that for some reason ("Am I just weird?") it was vitally important to me to make my point clear, to know that others, like in a workplace round table session, accurately registered what I MEANT. Someone once observed that I had a tendency to insist on my view being the right one, or the correct way for the group to go in (this being highly ironic coming from somebody who tended to erupt in fury when contradicted and around whom others tended to stuff their views to avoid another eruption; I thought it very telling that this observation came at me from this person). Considering, too, the fact that this observation was launched at me in the context of a workplace history where I had never been a key decision-maker or trailblazer and where I had never aspired to take charge and had, in fact, always "gone with the program" in a fully supportive way (though inwardly compartmentalizing quite consciously between energetic supportive cooperation, on the one hand, and wholehearted identity of outlook, on the other, an inner reserve perhaps something jesuitic?), I found his charge to be slightly tone-deaf. What I told him was, "I strongly want to know that I've actually made my point CLEAR, that everybody knows what I MEAN. I don't insist on everybody agreeing. In fact, even if nobody agrees, I'm perfectly content, as long as I know they accurately know WHAT it is they're disagreeing with. Because, otherwise, I have failed." The surprise on his face told me he had never looked at that way before. Which also was telling. Apparently, according to his psychological framework, the only reason a person would ever argue his point was to see to it everybody concurred. I...can't relate to that. At all. Even though I may think my idea is right or the best one (though I'm usually profoundly uncertain about that), my life doesn't hang on everybody going along, especially when, after all, I'm not the one in charge. I make my best pitch, to be as helpful as I can, but ultimately the one in charge has to carry the responsibility of the decision. Once I've released my burden, which is to formulate the thing I "see" in my mind, I'm free. I mean, I still care, but...I'm free. I did/said what I thought best.
What a FANTASTIC, meaty comment, Ken Sears. I appreciate the confirmation feedback, and vivid real-life illustrations. Thank you. Funny coincidence: Just a couple of days ago I had reason unrelated to this channel to listen again, a few years on, to ENFP Mike Boudria's Part 2 of his interview of his teenage ISTJ son about general characteristics of the SJ 'Guardians' (NF Geeks with Dr. Mike channel). In it, Mike made the totally valid, counter-intuitive (to types other than xxFPs, at any rate) observation that -- unlike the SJs, to whom being approved of by the mainstream and being publicly recognized for their contributions are very important -- ENFPs (INFP's 'sister type') are after a different kind of recognition = of who they really are and what they really mean -- even if that means disgrace for us! It was a great insight -- one you've been so kind as to explain in full here. :-)
@@kensears5099 Allow me, as well, to demonstrate the kind of relentless authenticity drive heavy use of Fi involves AND how it is that an obsession with getting things _right_ where it matters most -- to _them_ * -- is the province especially of xNxPs = heavy users of introverted 'judging' functions, both Fi and Ti. . . ;-) The extension I made as to what motivations this is about stands, but I now recall more precisely that in the funny example Boudria gave (to parallel the observation that public recognition of good deeds is particularly important to SJs), it was _accurate_ recognition of whatever an ENFP has _done_ that would be important to him or her, whether 'good' or 'bad', as in, e.g., placing last in a foot race, hahaha. I believe this would be because involuntary obsession with their notions of fairness and alignment of actions and their representations with moral code is _THAT_ important to the 'Feeler' xxFPs, whereas the heavy Ti-using 'Thinker' xTPs tend to be involuntarily obsessed with representation of thoroughgoing logical consistency and fine-grain factual accuracy. * The schematicizations devised by the introverted functions always being ineluctably idiosyncratic to some extent.
Haha - love the title (and that's coming from me... an INFJ!!). On top of that, I also found it to be a really insightful video. So thanks for sharing, Enid! :) INFPs are a great bunch!
Great video! My girlfriend is an INFP and this fits her perfectly. Thank you. You are so smart! As an aside, you remind me SO MUCH of Madeleine Kahn, especially in your voice. How fun! :-)
Thanks, Aubrey. :-) Isn't that funny! I've never imagined there's a resemblance, nor have I ever been told I look like Kahn in face-to-face life. But that's the second time a viewer has exclaimed about it. Will look more closely.
I am so happy to watch this and gather info about the INFPs. I have lived all my life feeling different... Now I know. Loving people and loving solitude. Somehow we leave in a Paradox world. Now I know. Thank you.
Thank you for this accurate explanation of how infps truly are. Most people focus on the dreamy part, but it's just a part. We have a very raw unapologetic side that I keep trying to tame...so I can make friends...
😅 If they paid me for every time I got in trouble for helping a person been bullied, I would be as rich as Bruce Wayne... damn values, they are a curse! (....and a blessing..., damn it!) Long live INFPs.
Hi Enid - I just found out yesterday doing the 16personalities test that I am an INFP. It makes SO much sense, it actually felt both liberating and slightly overwhelming in a good way to fully realise as to why I am the way I am. Listening to your video, I can definitely relate. And btw, Johnny Depp shows up as an INFP on that 16personalities website :-) P.S. Are you yourself an INFP?
Steve Thomas I’m an INFP... and Johnny Depp and myself share the same rising sign: Scorpio, and sun sign: Gemini. I find it fascinating how I’m literally the girl version of Depp. Both INFP. We BOTH have Scorpio Rising/Ascendant. And BOTH of us are Gemini. Kewllll to me :)
I believe INFPs are most excited about learning about themselves because we are some of the most misunderstood. Most other people arent as enthusiastic to learn about their personalities
true. I experienced the same. And I think INFP's are also the most excited about learning others than the people about themselves. Ever since Im familiar with the MIBT (?) test, I often ask people around me to do the test. ofc I know I cant say they are 100% what the test result says but its accurate at least 80%
Seriy Lee I did the same as you XD
I'll ask around and observe people since I found the MBTI test. And I've found that my friend is an INFP too (so, I observe and realised that we almost had the same mindset... kinda scary actually when you predicted her way of talking, action and stuff)
@@anotherhetalian8499 hahaha IKR its so addicting. I ALWAYS ask or try to guess Ppls MBTI type. And it bothers me if I cant ask them or guess. xD
Yea i get misunderstood a lot and let's just say it always doesnt end well ¡_¡
Same, lol I feel your words
Binge watching INFP videos all day bc that's what an INFP does sometimes lol helps me feel less alone when im down
Or because you're an INTJ with a crush on an INFP 🤓
@@andreeadobre3190 lol
Same issue
I feel you bro. I'm here to remind myself there are others that get it.
@@andreeadobre3190 that sounds like indirect stalking.
INFP - don’t go with the flow, be the flow
Wise
Whoa, this changed my whole outlook. Thank you!
Love this!!!
I go against the flow!
Yes ✊🏼🌊
Yes, as an INFP I find job interviews difficult precisely because "tooting your own horn" feels so unnatural to me. Also, because it involves being asked personal questions, having to think on the spot and vocalise your answers, being stared at by a panel of strangers taking notes as you speak, etc, but number one I find the whole setup of 'selling' yourself quite alienating.
Yes -- good times, good times. ;-)
You know, that whole selling yourself thing . . . I may have to do an entire video on that one day, because it is such a "thing" with any of the INFPs I've asked about it. 'Selling yourself' is right up there, just ahead of 'drowning bags of kittens,' and just behind, 'cleaning out the grottiest, farthest-away cranny inside a dirty fridge every day for a year' on their lists of 'Things I Like To Do.'
I just never sit around thinking about my qualifications and talents. I can always find some reason why I'm lacking in some way. But f somebody else states a qualification I assume they have it 100% down pat. I'm always surprised when I do well on a test. And like Meriwether, it's really hard to perform well when I'm the center of attention.
After it rains I go out and save the earthworms on my patio, so the kitten thing would be like 1 million times harder than cleaning out the grottiest fridge. And yeah, my badassery is standing up to powerful people who are wrong, especially when they are hurting someone. Sometimes ill advised when you are a skinny weakling. I was so relieved when I got to Highschool and discoverred the bigger older kids didn't beat me up anymore. And people say INFPs aren't badass. Discovering that I'm an INFP and not just weird, dumb, shy etc. was very liberating, a series of cathartic experiences actually.
Haha, that's so true! And yes, that sounds like a great idea for a video - I would be interested to hear your thoughts.
Aw, saving the earthworms - I can so relate to that! Ever since I was a kid I would 'rescue' bees that had fallen into the swimming pool. And I know what you mean about how liberating it was to find out about personality types and how there are other INFPs out there who have a similar way of looking at the world and deal with the same problems as we do. :)
Meriwether I feel the same way. It is so fake and fluffy.
I’m an INFP and I think in some ways I’m a private person but at the same time I will always share my thoughts with people if they want them. However, my deepest emotions are kind of inaccessible to anyone who I don’t know really really well. Part of it is I could never even explain the way I feel to people who aren’t INFP.
I get it... complex emotions and thoughts racing through our minds a mile a minute. Our brains can be hell for us
Fi, Ne, Si, Te
same for me exactly. im very to my self but honestly, given the chance, i’ll talk about how sad and lonely i really am for any form of attention. but once i do that, i feel so empty. it has almost become my only personality trait.
Yeah that’s why I don’t as much want to really be with someone who isn’t either an infp or enfp. I want to be understood but I can’t be understood by others unless they’re like me. It is just not something that you can really explain about yourself.
lunarlena THANK YOU I FEEL THE SAME ❤️❤️
I’m an INFP male. When I was growing up, I was very sensitive, couldn’t handle any criticism and I felt different and misunderstood from everyone in school. I was very insecure and lacked confidence and I overthought everything. However, I always knew about the potential I had if I fixed all of that. The biggest issue of all, was my self-esteem. For the last few years I’ve worked on all of my weaknesses and I feel like a much better person. For fellow INFPs, if you simply learn to love yourself and keep a growth-mindset, that’s only the gateway to endless possibilities of your true potential.
I can really second that based on my own experience. Growth mindset, for me, provided like a liberation from my self-inflicted emotional wounds. INFPs are really good at being hard on ourselves. Learning to accept that we're always learning and growing, and will improve in time (things we so easily accept in others!) is the key to self-acceptance and true personal growth. Meet yourself where you are, and remember that every forward step, no matter how shaky or small, is a step forward.
Beau Ballas thank you sir
Thank you :)
That is totally my life
Yeah being an INFP myself, I’ve struggled with it a lot too growing up. I suppose since guys have to be extroverted due to societal standards but I never fit in that category. I like to be by myself but I often doubt myself if it’s just a coping mechanism for loneliness...
Being INFP can be hard as hell, but I wouldn't change myself for the world.
yep! all the tears and all the pain brings a flipside of joy, mirth and genuine wonder and affection for everything around us. It's like we're little factories of bipolar emotionality haha :D
I never had the world, so why change for it?
-Aurora
Amen 🙏🏼✨🕊️
I'm an INFP, and I have my own way of using a pen, my parents, teachers and friends used to tell me " You are using the pen in a wrong way" and I used to reply " as long as I'm comfortable and you can read what I write, I will keep using it that way"
Same here! Teachers always told me my pen grip was "wrong" but I kept doing it my way because it felt the most natural to me - and who gets to decide there's only one "right" way to do it anyway?
Same!
same thing
Me too! I have a crooked pinky due to writing my own way! Haha
I am an INFP too - Funny, same here..my friends nd colleagues sometimes used to remark on d way i used to grip d pen while writing..dey said i hold it in a 'reverse' manner..
What is surprising to most people is the inner strength of the INFP. We appear so sweet and are generally humble; most people mistake it for weakness.
Attack our values, or harm a vulnerable defenseless person around us and watch out! Our pur turns into a roar!
This is so true
Purr is double r.
just like Lana said : “ they mistook my kindness for weakness”
I’m the INFP who can’t roar. 🥺
Most people see me as quiet, calm, and in control, but If I perceive an injustice, if I am disrespected, if someone is being mistreated or bullied, I will erupt without warning.
"You've got a lot of things to manage inside yourself" Overwhelmingly so, I can't even function
-Yup-.- :-)
Woops. Sorry, Gert Samson. I missed the quotation marks at first and thought you were observing something in me. Ha!
Fits, though. There's a reason so many INFPs take to me in real life. We usually get a lot about each other easily.
Per your lament -- my sympathies. It's very intense, being an INFP. Takes lots of guts all the time, and the glory from the wider world comes but occasionally.
Same aff
Your absolutely right about an infp being humble. This is particularly difficult for me being a recent graduate, having to go to interviews and expect to be talking about how wonderful I am. Ew.
Hi :) So, did you find a job?
@detergent Be mindful of the words you use and how they affect your emotional state. I feel INFPs often struggle in life because their experiences in life make them feel unheared, misunderstood and invisible. For me that lead to having a disempowering self-image where I thought very negatively, being very harsh to myself, I guess it was a kind of coping mechanism, so people could not hurt me anymore, at least not worse than my defensive thinking did hurt myself.
What helped me to outgrow that coping mechanism is to become more assertive, practice self-love and being clearer with my boundaries. For a long while I was stuck in the past and the fights I had with bullies, but I slowly learned to let go of those stories more and more and try to live in the now from the heart, instead of in the past stuck in the mind. Spiritual teachings like Eckhart Tolle and similar have helped in that regard.
Anyhow the reason I am responding to you is that I currently read "Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins, he writes a lot about Transformational Vocabulary and the importance of deliberately choosing your words in a way that you don't move yourself into an emotional state where you feel like you have no ability to improve and grow.
So here are some things I noticed:
your username is detergent
For me a detergent is something that cleans up stuff, but it can also be toxic when consumed, hazardous for the environment
it also seems to me to be something that repels fatty particles, so it could be described as repulsive
The whole name makes me think that you define yourself in opposition to what does not seem right to you,
I did that for a while too, but why not use a name that stands for what does seem right to you!
seeking a job for years
With this it seems there is too much focus on the seeking and not having, instead of trusting that it will come and allowing it to happen. I know that sounds loony, but I guess eventually spirituality seems to make more and more sense when you are open to it. I would recommend listening to Abraham Hicks youtube videos about receiving.
it is so hard to selling myself well
If you think this way, your subconscious will make it so, at least try to exchange some words for softer ones and more empowering ones.
What about:
I am an INFP I am very clear on what I do and what I don't want, because of my integrity, there are many jobs that do not meet my standards, because I want to work in a place that aligns with my values, but I also realize that I sometimes have to stop trying to find something perfect and instead trust that I will have the experiences that I will need to have in order to grow and learn. Furthermore I do not "sell" myself, instead I am just me and there is no need to sell myself, instead they get the chance to choose me and if they aren't able to see the values that I can bring to that company's endeavor than another company will.
Although I think I am suitable for the jobs
instead: I am a creative humble person exactly what every good company needs
I think I have zero confidence
I struggled with that myself.
But now I think: There are lots of areas in life that I have not yet explored sufficiently and that is why I am currently not confident in those areas, but I am resolved to becoming my fully authentic best self and that is why I again and again, pick myself up and take one little step towards, facing the next area that is unknown territory for me. And the more I do this I realize that all that held me back was fear, fear of looking stupid, being ridiculed etc. and in the end it turns out that reality is often far kinder than what was imagined through fear.
I keep failing to be hired
Failing is a good thing when there is something learned in the process and we can grow from that learning so that next time around it will be different.
So my questions are:
What are you not seeing?
Maybe you do not want the job you think you want?
What does feel right to you?
Do you love yourself so much, that you still love yourself even if you don't get the job?
If not, why not? Why is that job so important?
Maybe what you think you can get, from getting that job, you can get some other way?
Maybe you can create your own job, doing something you truly enjoy doing?
I have depression
You are connected to your inner world, there are so many people out there who appear to be functioning on a superficial level, but are addicted to lots of things all in an attempt to distract themselves from dealing with their inner world, so in that regard you are already one step further, you have faced your inner world, be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, think highly of yourself and in a kind way. Often it is easier to be kind to yourself if you pretend your helping someone else. Connect with your inner child, treat yourself doing fun things that make you feel that you are taking care of yourself and check out videos of Teal Swan, Infinite Waters, etc.
And change your words for example Ralph Smart changes depressed to deep rest.
Because it really is like your spirit/soul/inner world is drowned by the stormy and demanding external world around you, so you have to create space so that inner world is able to calm down and heal and your different parts can reintegrate with another. Mindfulness, Heart-space meditation, breathing exercises, cold showers also help. The last one helps because a cold shower immediately brings your focus to your body and the current moment, thus stopping any kind of worrying thinking about "futures that should be avoided". There is no future, only the present moment and in the present moment you just do one little step towards a better direction then yesterday.
Well this turned out way longer than I had anticipated. I hope it makes sense to some people and is helpful for some of you!
@@fefswfae242 thank you for your comment, it's really insightful, comforting and motivating. I realize it was directed to someone else but I just find it very kind of you to type such an elaborate comment to help and motivate someone, thank you again ♡
@@Lisa-qt4hh I had forgotten that I wrote this comment, it is great to see that it reaches people who appreciate it. I guess people who are drawn to INFP videos, appreciate long written texts, had different experiences in comment sections of other kinds of videos. Have a great day! ♡
@@fefswfae242 I think you're right on that one! Well I would say keep writing wonderful long comments like this one. You have a great day as well :)
Look! All my bestfriends who I haven't met yet are here!
Hello!! Yes! 🙏❤️😘
Hey !
Yes!!
hi hi
hey bestiee
INFP here. This is great. We have our soft, sweet feeling side, but we have strong convictions and stick to our guns, even if we fly under the radar.
I GET TOLD THAT IM VERY ARGUMENTATIVE...NOOOOOO I JUST DONT LIKE PEOPLE THINKING IM A CERTAIN WAY OR IF I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF I WILL BC I WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH SEE WHAT IM SEEING. THATS NOT ARGUMENTATIVE.. THATS BEING WHAT YOU SAID "AUTHENTIC"
The_Creation 927 RIGHT?? Sometimes I worry I come off as defensive, but how can I not be when they’re constantly making claims about me or treating me like I’m stupid/naive?? They always tell me to not care so much and let it slide, but why should I? And if I do, they’ll only do it more.
this post makes me anxious, i feel like your yelling at me...😒
A L i rly felt that.
PREACH.
The_Creation 927 What other people think of you is not ANY of your business, please don't try and change other people's perceptions of you, you'll go insane; it's a waste of your energy for goodness sake! When you're older you'll get it fellow INFP. If you're sticking up for the underdog we can be diplomatic and tactful in getting your point across to disagree. YOU CANT MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SEE THE 'TRUTH AS YOU KNOW IT', that's ridiculous and very unhealthy INFP underdeveloped behaviour. Good vibes to all xx
Oh yeah, from my experience the INFP girls I know are super playful and fun and shy at the same time. Their humor is more spontaneous than I think you pointed out. One my cousin INFP sometimes makes jokes that don't make sense because she's always in her own world and my other friend uses play on words. But they are both really really good at writing. I feel like the beauty of infp is giving them a pencil to write or draw with. They're much better at explaining things in detail than intp imo, because they make it an art, where intp get too detached and not as easily understood by a broader audience
Yes, you describe me perfectly as INFP woman and my style of humor. My husband sometimes doesn't understand my jokes. 😉🙂(giggling inside).
Beautifully said 😍
Very accurate. People either laugh their ass off or look at me and scratch their head as I laugh my ass off. I have no gray in that. My sense of humor us dry and quirky at best.
omg, my humour is so weird. Inspiration can strike at any moment and when it does everyone is just staring at me confused while I laugh at myself... Sometimes I don't even remember if I remembered to say it out loud😂
@@drsamouk yep😂
Last to burn a Bridge,
First to build one,
Last to forgive a transgression of values.
First to build a bridge but will burn it when crossed
TO ALL INFP'S ok so this is how I feel about myself. Tell me if you relate. It's easy to make friends and even easier to keep them. But it's hard to find true friends the ones who are willing to go the full length. The ones who are there no matter what. I can have only one or two true friends too. I have found that truly authentic people aren't very prevalent. I always can feel how others feel. My empathy is very high. I can see through others eyes and relate easily but never take on there views as my own. I hold my own views and values in highest regard. But if I find I am mistaken or wrong about something or someone I can change easily. I am very adaptable and can get along with anyone even animals that are rather grumpy always are quite and nice around me. I have noticed since I was young that I always defused negative emotions and thoughts and events very fast and effectively. I have found I am smarter then most when it comes to science and knowledge of a vast variety of things. It seems like I know about things and situations even if I have not experienced them in this life. I'm very open minded. I could never physically hurt someone but hurt myself daily. I am extremely spiritual. And hold my spiritual growth in higher regard then my physical condition. I cant be around allot of people for long amounts of time. And some people seem to drain my energy and life. I search for truth and understanding in everything I do. And everything others do. But I never take things at face value. I believe life is deeper then what's seen on the surface. And I totally believe we are all equal and spiritual connected. In some way or another. There is allot more to me but that's the basics. Am I alike to you other INFPs?
99.9% like me too. I hold my spiritual growth way higher than emotional, physical conditions. I would break away from 7 year relationship that is comfortable but not serving or detrimental to my spiritual direction, even if that means I have to sell the flat, stand on my own 2 feet again, experience being single again which I would hate to be alone.
Yes u are so like us
Joshua The seeker (insert the
meme) Well ofcourse i know him, hes me.
Y E S
Upon searching about INFPs I truly believe that we are aliens from the same planet hahahahaha
I really appreciate what you've said here. INFPs are essentially an amalgamation of the 4 qualities considered "lower" in American society. Extraversion is valued over introversion, sensing over intuition, thinking over feeling, and judging over perceiving. So it is very common for people with these "lesser" traits to think that there is something wrong with them, because such people don't receive the positive reinforcement from society that the other personality types receive. For you to frame these traits in a positive way is a good thing and personally makes me very happy to hear.
Thank you for a great comment, Brand_D.
I'd like to put this dovetail to what you've observed: All 4 of 4 INFP temperamental leanings are _coded feminine_ in our society. That they're considered 'lower' is a matter of sexism, and it's a total fucking shame for everyone, I believe, that that's the case.
Fi is a judging function. INFPs are more judgemental INFJs for example
@@philipdru4782 Your statement makes no sense. Perceiving types value staying open-minded and keeping options open, while judging types value making quick decisions and decisiveness. It seems very obvious which of the two would be more likely to be judgmental.
@@EnidFPatternson Thank you for the response :)
@@EnidFPatternson oh shit, u right. My mind has been blown.
I have always been called weird
Jennifer Sotelo you don’t strike me as an INFP at alllll... I feel like you mistyped yourself. I looked at your CZcams profile and it came nowhere near close to what a true INFP’s should look like. Most INFP’s are drawn to being different... and you liking “Lil Peep” is more of like following the crowd (which INFP’s generally hate to do). So I mean, I’d take the test again if I were you and answer honestly and accurately next time. I’ve taken a whole bunch of different tests multiple times and the results all came back as INFP. So I’d redo the mbti quiz if I was you. You don’t strike me as an INFP at allllll
Story of my life
@@justanotherloser2572 Your comment is the worst thing i've ever read. Her liking Lil Peep's music doesn't mean she is blindly following a trend. Besides, Peep himself was an INFP.
Madžga. And I don’t give a fuck if you can’t already tell
@@justanotherloser2572 stereotypes my dude, stereotypes
My name is Ransom and I am an INFP.
I was watching your video when my 3 year old daughter wanted to hear what I was listening to on my headphones. So I put one of my earphones in her ear.
After intently listening to you for a minute, she began kissing the phone.
I can't stop weeping as I am writing this.
She kissed the video side twice, then the back of the phone.
I have only recently been able to emote, as I suffer from cPTSD, and now I can't stop weeping. First because of what you have said, and second because my 3 year old daughter knew... she knew that you were loving (me )through your video.
Thank you.
Ransom Lopez
Husband, and father of four.
Ooooooh, Ransom Lopez. [virtually rubbing your back]
I'm so sorry you've had experiences leading to that condition. (I know something of it myself.)
Thank you for telling me that.
I wish you much healing and inspiration and love along your way.
I too have PSTD I read raging narcissist personality disordered people just love to get ahold of personality types like us that is the main cause of my PSTD I idealized not only him for awhile but the flying monkeys (if u know narcissism lingo lol) around us. I got completely chewed up my heart turned half black, tryin to restore it thru self love n the few who love me.
That's a sick name I love it. Is that your real name?
Ransom De Santos Lopez weirdo
This is the most heartwarming and beautiful comment I have ever read on youtube. I wish all the best for you and your family in the future
One thing I find hard about being an INFP (but I'm not sure if it's an INFP thing), is that I'm very much "both" in every kind of situation. I'm very diplomatic and quiet and understanding, until I'm not, and then I'm a fierce warrior who will strike where it really hurts. I'm also sociable, but I kinda hate being around people. I'm also gender neutral, which feels like the same sort of deal, where I'm both of something. Is it just me? I'm born between aquarius and pisces and alot of INFP traits seem to match those signs, but surely we're not all born on feb 19th.
I’m totally the same, only I’m a Scorpio. I think the emotional instability and intensity of the Scorpio sign also fits the INFP personality really well.
I find it really fitting for aquarius/pisces (aka 19 feb) cusp to be infp ;3 even though i have libra in sun sign, i still have a lot of scorpio in the natal chart and i would describe myself somewhat between infp and enfp...i bet we would get along quite well
I feel the same way!!
I'm a fiery Aries with Gemini moon, INFP with INTP tendencies, Chinese Zodiac is the snake, and my life path number is 1. If there's anything I'm missing, tell me and I'll update!
Aquarius Feb. 11
I'm blessed to be an infp
YES! :D
You are really excited about that?
@@godlikemf9285 why not? Does it matter?
Others are blessed that you’re an infp.
I think it's good for my friends but a curse for me to be INFP lol caring so much for people that don't care about me
Hello fellow INFPs! I discovered a few years ago that I'm an INFP and the self-understanding and self-acceptance that began to come from that was wonderful! At least we get each other and ourselves a little more now! Sending you all love xx :)
WeeNightOwl ♡♡♡ :)
I can relate. I’m an INFP and the more I learn - the more I’m learning to love my INFP traits! 😁
Discovering that I'm an INFP is the greatest thing that happened to me because now I know why nothing seems to work out for me in this world. I've been approaching life in a way that doesn't match up with my characteristics. Now I can modify my approach
Same here. For me it was just accepting reality. It centered me, while at the same time I was learning to accept myself. Now, I love that we have such great level of empathy. That I’m not the only “weirdo” in this world (I dislike that we are called odd and weird btw). Also really knowing how to describe yourself is wonderful. Confident individualism, will help you through anything, just keep negative voices away from your ears.
@@americoleal344 I think we're the non weirdos in a world full of weirdos. Most people want others to accept them and modify themselves into something they're not, for other people who are also putting on masks for acceptance. People mostly care about how things look to others instead of how they actually are. Who can one be other than themselves, including flaws that need to be worked on? Others only see an approximation of who I am, and through various lenses of cognitive dissonance anyway. I see, but mostly ignore the power struggles of people trying to prove they're better than others out of feelings of inferiority. Who cares? Doesn't anyone know we're all part of, instead of apart from humanity, or that each of us is alone in our own head, no matter what we do? Humanity swims in an invisible cesspool where they feed each other's egos with lies, both negative and positive. I feel like an oasis of authenticity in an empty, barren wasteland of soulless beings because they feel lack. They don't want purpose or meaning, they just want to be liked (worshipped), and to control each other to exalt themselves as God. I just want to be me, according to my own unique purposes, and gifts for sharing/expressing them. What else could I be?
Sometimes I feel like INFPs need our own island, and we only go out to the rest of the world when we feel like it.
I guess that’s what homes are for. 🤔
it would be a deadly quiet island because we wouldnt speak to each other
I'm very grateful for you CZcamsrs who reach out to us INFPs. I think we need the understanding and support the most, at least in many cases. Especially us guys.
I think that's often true, and it's easy to figure out why, in this world!
I used to be made fun of a lot. But as I have learned to own my badassery people regret trying to make me feel less than. My go to phrase: “It must be horrible to feel an almost compulsive need to conform. I can see how my originality triggered within you feelings of deep dissatisfaction. You must be really unhappy with the way you show up in the world. So I won’t take your comments personally. Heal your wounds or you will continue to bleed all over people who didn’t cut you.” -then I offer a Kleenex. 😁
If I were to say this in a male-dominated area, lol, the negative backlash would be enormous. Political games you wouldn't believe. I've tried similar things in the past only for it to bite me in the ass. I'm a male INFP. They'll see this as controlling in a negative way.
My advice? Also add something to disarm yourself. Something that gives room for positive interpretation. Dunno what that'd be, but if you figure it out let me know!
Missy Sterling oh girl I’m so using this !!
M SC I get that dude, so many guys want to compete, and when you’re that honest they want to fight you and take you down. Sometimes you’re just trying to help, because you genuinely feel bad for them because they have values we see as negative
This is the best thing I've "heard" in a while. Good stuff👍
Stealing this
I just figured out I was an infp i thought I was just a weirdo and have felt inadequate my entire life thanks for this vid your very insightful.
You're most welcome, Max Brackney.
I'm so glad you've found that validation. You're not in numerous company, but you _are_ in good company. ;-)
very well said :)
This is all very true. As an INFP, I have learned time and time again that I am sometimes the only one standing up for something while others usually aren't. There was one situation at an old workplace of mine in particular that really drove this home for me: I got back from my break and got told that the boss had verbally insulted and screamed at the young intern in front of everyone until she started crying. That he would be willing to do something like this wasn't really all that surprising, because you could sense the kind of person he was from a mile away, but what shocked me was that no one did or said anything..even though several people were watching it happen. They just sat there until it was over and let him get away with it without any repercussions - but then told me how horrible that was afterwards in quiet. That must have been so embarrassing and maybe even traumatic for the intern, because it was straight up abuse and I would have been so embarrassed for not helping her. Thinking about it today, still makes my blood boil. I do not get why everyone enabled this behavior. I would have 100% intervened - whether I would have lost my job or not. I also stopped two men trying to steal a bike in the middle of the day in the city center one time. Out of a large group of people watching them, I was the only one to say something and chase them away in the end - and I have severe, debilitating social anxiety and hate confrontation. I really don't get this kind of enabling. It's why horrible people exist in the first place and can keep hurting others. I could go on and on with this rant tbh XD
You sure are badass🔥
go on jeanne
I'm exactly the same Jeanne and could slso rant about this all day too!!! The lack of standing up to injustice and what's wrong makes my blood boil.
I LOVE U ... HOPE EVERYONE IS LIKE YOU
I’m an INFP and I really hope to cross paths with another INFP in person and feel the connection of that conversation. Life is fucking insane. Every night I’m just like.... this is the earth realm... we made it. Every single moment to me is so sacred. I’m so hidden out there. Not one single person knows who I am and I have my polished case of ten thousand masks. In my solitude i release it all and in that being man it’s so worth it. It’s so hard to even
Leave a comment like this, I feel like I’ve said way to much. It’s such an intricate existence. But the challenges are fun, the suffering is more than worth it. To know it will always be like this brings reassurance instead of dread.
fellow infp ~ greetings
Hello from England mate 👍
I like the way you put that
The suffering is what makes things worth it. For me, happiness is more than just being in a "higher" mood, but rather rising from a miserable mood into a higher one. It's the ascension that gives an amazing feeling of contentment and happiness, more so than always being happy. I also understand what you're talking about, when you talk about masks. Changing your personality, speech, actions and even beliefs (at least the one you show to the public) depending on who you're talking to. Unfortunately this isn't usually healthy. I did this mostly during my people pleasing years. Laughing at other's jokes, even if they were both unfunny and maybe even mean/cruel. Never responding to a**holes that came after me, and making myself a worm. Flattering people, making myself small, being fake, etc. It's actually a terrible state of mind, as you make yourself vulnerable to narcissists that want all that flattery, and someone to use as a punching bag. It can be difficult, but be your true self so unfailingly that it doesn't matter if you offend bad people. Be a good person without being timid about it. Don't randomly disappear from people's lives (for people that are important to you) because they accidentally or unconsciously upset you. Be open about what they did to you. People that are worth keeping in your life will try to understand! Be yourself and don't like things because other people like those things. Enjoy your own music, hobbies, games, friends, activities, movies, etc. Go against the grain, if your honest feels go against the grain.
whenever I am feeling sad about not being accepted I watch your vids and you make me feel so good about myself.
Shauna Willis HI Shauna I don't know how old you are but give it time your hidden independence will slowly come more to the fore as you get older, I think as a defence as your exposed to more and more disappointment with others until when day you wake up with the complete realisation you are quite happy with yourself and you don't need anyone else's acceptance. You will feel liberated and realise most of what makes other people unhappy is they don't possess enough independent thought to accept themselves and look for continued outside acceptance and validation. Trust me you'll be fine.
Andy Green, Amen!! So true!
Thank you for bringing out that infps refuse to be part of a group that doesn’t mesh with their ideals. And that they can be very unapologetically badass about this, leaving this group or refusing to do things according to the traditions of this group. I always wondered whether it’s my rebel in me but I never quite identify myself as a rebel as you mentioned I’m very soft hearted and not rebelling for sake of rebelling.
I never could pin point where my refusal to conform to certain groups come from. Until now, it makes full sense
Exactly. I've left jobs because they pretended to have the same values but when issues arose they were shady, greedy, and not at all aligned with the values they proported to have. Issues always bring out people's true values.
I talk about experiences to help people but I don't talk myself up on my talents. And You are right I was bullied bad as a kid.
Hi, Charles Benson. A lot of INFPs are bullied as kids (and some as adults too.) And most of them endure it no matter what the arseholes lob at them by way of taunts or even fists. They are less likely than the vast majority to suck up or change themselves in order to have an easier time with jerks and idiots = more of what this video is about.
+Enid F. Patternson Yeah kids dont like introverts who don't talk but i have a thick skin now been through some stuff but I am glad for it
+Charles Benson But I am still me just tougher
Charles Benson Bummer about the "tougher", I'm sure you would rather have stayed pliable and open. It really sucks when stupid people say and do things to make you clamp shut like a Venus flytrap. Too bad they weren't edible or digestible, at least you could get some nutrition from it. 😜
Yes. When I was bullied at school I made a conscious decision not to conform. I could see others do this and felt e it is kind of like selling your soul.
Brings me back to when I would get flaming red in the face anytime I had to do public speaking throughout middle/high school yet I took my time speaking + looked into the audience even when my voice was shaking and face was turning shades. You can imagine the commentary of my peers but the proudness of my teacher hah.
S9ooooo true
One thing contradictory is although we have stage fear dread public speaking we love to act, drama, theatre arts . ..
Not recognizing social structures or values I disagree with... something I've valued throughout my entire life and wondered why others around me are incapable of.
same
maybe your social structures and values are just good for you or in other words "aligns with your inner values", and if you moved to another country or place, you might change your mind...
She is pretty clear that she means any social structures that don't resonate with an INFPs inner values.
They are capable. The issue is that all T or J or S types will be seeing your and your ideologies with lack of interest. Plus, they don’t appreciate how INFPs live in a dreamy world and are always screwed in this planet about practical things.
It's because we're only about 4% of the population. We and INFJ's are two of the rarest types. And thus we're even more lonely, because not only are their so few us us, but because we tend toward hard isolationism (most through self reflection and not literal physical) and introversion.
Thanks, this was very insightful. Says: just a sensitive and burdened weirdperson who's feeling like very slowly becoming more badass with age.
Good for u :-) tryin...
I'm an infp and have shared way too much at my new job, due to nervousness, and a desire to try to be an extrovert (night-shift work) .. it has caused so many problems. I've isolated myself from ppl for the last 3 months and have been almost puppy like with the people around once starting at this job. And i would like to say that you are most correct. All evolution happens through stress, but the uncomfortably of being noticed by people due to all of your mistakes is so hard. But, this too will pass, like all things. Thank you so much for sharing your information on infp's with us!
I feel so identified with what you said. Now I'm in the situation where it starts... So I'm so scared, I get so disturbing when I start feeling so bad around people and they can see it, my mind plays tricks on me. I want to think I can face this
I totally get it. I want to socialize and be known but then feel bad everytime i open up cuz i was born strange but at least im good at my guitars and foreign language. I get it i love people but hate them too, they are predatory in groups.
If I try hard enough, I can "toot my own horn" so to speak, but to me it's like I'm lying.
I found this very comforting. We get made fun of for being soft. Hearing how we can be badasses too makes me feel less of a loser. Thank you!
INFP can be an unstoppable force, but has to struggle against the immovable SJ. And in this struggle, SPs make for fairweather friends and NTs can't see why it matters.
I like your username :D
for all INFP s out there, watch the movie "Waking Life" by Richard Linklater( he himself is infp)
Ali Marashian thank you
I always wanted to watch the movie but not fond of the visual.
YES! It is like my favorite movie. Does anyone know any similar movies with the same message, sorta?
Magique Oracle - Yeah, every time I watch it I am transfixed by it. It's very unique and therefore difficult to make comparisons with other films but I watch a lot of movies and feel like, in a way, I am always looking for that same feeling that Waking Life gives me.
The few that spring to mind that remind me of Waking Life to some degree are:
Radio Free Albemuth (2010) American film adaptation of the dystopian novel Radio Free Albemuth by author Philip K. Dick, which was written in 1976 and published posthumously. Interestingly, one of Linklaters other films is an adaptation of A Scanner Darkly, which is also a Philip K. Dick story. You probably already know about that, though. Also, that last awesome monologue in Waking Life is Richard Linklater himself and he talks about Philip K. Dick. Unfortunately this film can be a little hard to find.
The Holy Mountain (1973) Alejandro Jodorowsky tried to film a real illumination, making his actors act without a script and living real introspective experiences while being taped. All the film is based in the eneagram's personality theory, and the final turn of the movie tries to traslate the actor's experience to the viewer, changing his point of view from a mere spectator to a live doer. There's a narrative, but the whole thing is *very* surreal.
I am also a big fan of a screenwriter/actor/director called Brit Marling. Her recent series on Netflix - The OA - absolutely takes me to a similar place mentally and is thematically linked to Waking Life. I have seen all 8 episodes twice and want to watch it again before season 2 comes out. She has 3 other movies (The East, Another Earth, and The Sound of My Voice) that you can check out if you like The OA. Another Earth in particular could probably join this list.
Well, I could talk about movies indefinitely, so I might go now but I hope this message was helpful.
Omg you're a doll, like for real, I will definitely look into these! I'm actually trying to find something to watch tonight so I might look into The OA first. I LOVED the Holy Mountain, truly one of my favorite movies since I watched it and I loved how you could make different interpretations from it, The ending was awesome. I actually had NO clue it was about the enneagram but wondered with the 9 people. Thanks! :)
Absolutely hit the nail on the head with the ability to disregard social construct if it doesn't align with our values. As well as the constant existential strain weighing all the constant thoughts and theory's that shape all my very detailed beliefs.
As an INFP people, I assume, tend to think of me as 'open' about my thoughts and emotions. And I am, because I believe in authenticity, but I only divulge things that I (personally) do not consider personal. It seems to create an interesting dynamic of others assuming they know the full extent, or close to, of my personality when in reality it may be but a fraction. You explain the fragility yet assertiveness of my INFP personality so eloquently! :)
at age 52 (2022) I did the test and found out I'm INFP. Good to finally realise that I am not a mental case weirdo!! LOL Wish I did it/knew 30 years ago.
I have been bullied and victimised badly twice in the workplace. If you knew me, you'd see I'm bright and capable. I have talents and incredible insight into many things. I am a problem solver and have been praised so much in my life for my work and achievements. But when I stood up to my line manager in my last bullying and harassment experienced, he did all he could to prove I was all of a sudden incompetent. It made me feel absolute disgust toward him and everyone who did not stand up for me. I was given money to not take them to court.. Imagine how much evidence I had against them for what they were doing to me systematically to kick me out. I was told by many that i was a threat to him because I was a problem solver, i was quiet and passive and then all of a sudden I stood up for myself. Can someone explain why this has happened to me twice? The last thing I am, is an idiot. I could see what he was doing and for 4 months I recorded everything that was happening.
whoami arseholes are jealous that we can achieve more success in a shorter space of time in the workforce than they can so they attack and bully us. I have had this happen all through primary and secondary school and so many times in the workforce both in paid and voluntary positions that I’ve just fuck it I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not I’m going to go work as an actress on my own terms like I should have done over 20 years ago
I think part of the challenge can also be that others are really really obsessed with what people think about them. INFP is more obsessed with maintaining their own integrity and authenticity, and won't sacrifice that to make other people happy. When people who spend their entire lives giving away and denying little pieces of themselves for others' benefit see someone like us, they can get really angry and jealous. "Why can you just do whatever you want? Whatever you *feel* like doing? And I can't?"
Not realizing that we do make our own sacrifices; we just know ourselves well enough to know we couldn't live the way they do. It's barely a choice for us. We have no choice but to be what we are. To be any other way wouldn't be a life worth living.
whoami
As an infp you will have fun learning about people. So read a shit ton of stuff about narcissism. This way they won't even try to disturb you. Because you are prepared and they smell that.
INFP: Thank you so much for making these videos! I was only recently introduced to the MBIT types. After only a week I have already been able to understand my way of thinking soooo much clearer and I am already starting to improve myself in I ways would have never thought of before. Again thank you!!!
Victor Lockwood, I'm so sorry it took this long to catch up on your comment (and others that came in during a busy time). I'm so glad you've been enjoying them and that you're getting a lot of validation and usefulness from the MBTI. That's what it was ever designed for. :-)
Victor Lockwood im an INFP as well and since finding out my type it's been life changing! Glad it has helped you too! 👍🏻👍🏻
Very accurate. Spent most of the video nodding my head.
Lolz YEP
"Never tickle a sleeping dragon"
Being an INFP before the knowledge of this was the hardest life. I'm so excited and happy about finally hearing accurate descriptions of myself and from strangers that NEVER use to happen.. I can tell most anyone about themselves but never received the same. Pretty Awesome..
Ikr
I am rather fascinated by all personality types but mostly INFP and INFJ, as we have a lot of similarities, but some pretty large differences, too.
Do you think you could do a video about INFP anger? That's always been interesting, as I've heard multiple takes, some stemming from non-INFPs saying that we're like baby bunny rabbits in fight. Others say we tiptoe away from conflict. But I think personally, INFP's experience much more potent fury than people imagine.
Off topic, but I love your hair!
Thank you, 恵美子 H-San. :-)
There are many more MBTI topics I already had in mind to present on;
I've not given much thought to that one, and don't feel very qualified
to address it.
I think an INFP should do so, as that person will surely have more
that's valid to say about it.
I too, however, can imagine that anger -- as with all feelings, from
what I can tell -- is very intensely felt by unblocked INFPs. I think it
can tend to be extra hard for them to manage when it is -- especially
when it is felt towards a loved one.
I think it's extra hard for INFPs to resist turning anger inward,
towards self-destruction. They might like to fling it outward as any
human is tempted to do when the suffering from such a painful emotion
(covering up an even more painful, vulnerable one) gets bad, but a
dom-Fi INFP will tend to have a harder time just going 'unconscious' and
dumping their anger on someone else by, for example, doing something
petty, unfair, or mean, just because it's convenient and gets them quick
relief.
Something like that, which puts them at odds with their values (= the
worst thing for an INFP), is especially unlikely to 'sit right' with
them vs. with most other people. INFPs are among the least likely to
give themselves a pass for a moral transgression.
That said, with their high emotional sensitivity, they might be prone to
being a bit snappy, moody, or irritable sometimes. Most INFPs would
feel very bad about having treated a loved one unkindly, however, and
would usually be quick to apologize -- especially if they can see that
they've hurt someone's feelings.
When an INFP can abstract the cause of their anger, however, it can be a
whole other story. That would be, for an INFP who hasn't yet matured
and found constructive ways of coping with their very strong emotions.
If, say, the anger is directed at the figurehead of an enemy of one of
their cherished causes, and if that INFP hasn't (yet?) acquired a good
measure of wisdom and maturity, then the bitterness and fury of their
wrath could be immense and quite awful.
Those are the impressions I have 'off the top of my head.'
What do *_you_* think?
P.S. For me -- in terms of theory, and in how I experience directly the many INFJs and INFPs in my life, the MBTI-accounted for *_differences_* between these types are massive. For example, I think ENFP has ever so much more in common with INFP in terms of what people of that type _are deeply about_ than INFJ does -- both at the surface level, and at a much more intimate level, where selves can be known.
@@EnidFPatternson *raises hand* I don't know if I can speak for all the other INFPs, but I can certainly speak for myself. I don't enjoy conflict. If I have the opportunity to avoid it, I will. I think that is why we may be viewed as meek or timid. The "baby bunny" if you will. However, if conflict cannot be avoided, I become closer to a coiled snake. I strike fast, I strike hard, and I go straight for the heart of the matter. Unfortunately, I don't know if that is from the INFP or the product of an abusive childhood. I'm very good at hiding my anger, and at times can seem apathetic or uncaring. It's entirely the opposite. I keep my anger in check so I don't hurt someone. When my true ire has been aroused, everything goes cold; physically and mentally. It's like the door that holds back my inner demon is thrown open and heaven help anyone in my way. Once the door is closed, I just become tired.
Bless my husband, he's been an immense help. He's been working on learning my tells, and I've been working on communicating when I start getting angry. It's really helped with raising our son. He's 3 now, and when he is in trouble, I can keep myself in check long enough to simmer down.
Wow... great question. I am an INFP, and very peaceful and all of that, but I absolutely have an angry side. I reign it in, so that I don't use it against anyone if at all possible. I would never want to harm someone else in any way... but I absolutely know there is a line where all bets are off. I really would not like to be in a place that was over that line. I am no fan of conflict either... but at a point of righteous fury, look out, because it is coming!
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... as I read your comment about her hair... she reminded me of Ally Sheedy for some reason. I thought her look was cool as well. I grew up in the 80's and something about her look spoke to me. LOL. But I am an INFP, so I could just be weird.
I tend to usually steer away from conflict as much as i can but when a line is crossed thats when i let myself go and start swinging
I love videos like this because I'm currently writing college apps and, as an INFP, it's difficult for me to really sell myself as a person (the way you mentioned in this video) but when you analyze and discuss INFPs I feel like you are actually talking about me and I'm able to find strengths within myself. Thanks so much!
I'm glad, Becca Madsen. Thanks for watching.
You've just explained why I've never read a Harry Potter book. Everyone: You have to read these! Me: Um... No.
I don’t really get what you mean, could you please elaborate?
@@Inspirit-gp4dp It's what Enid talks about at around 6:30. The more people told me I "just had to" read them, the less likely i was to do so.
@@markrankin1094 I absolutely can relate!
Ooh ok I know you dont want to jump on to bandwagons, but you should definitely read Harry Potter. This is coming from a fellow infp.
same..litreally same
When I was growing up I would always wear clothes that I liked, even if they were kind of weird to everyone else. Because of that my best friend at the time once accused me of wanting attention, but she really missed the mark. If I could wear an invisibility cloak over my weird clothes I would, but I can't just do what everyone else is doing just because "that's how it's done". As I've grown, I've had to learn how to balance what I like/value and how people perceive me.
Thank you for this. Found out I was an INFP-T a few months ago and ever since I've been obsessed with discovering more about my personality. I believe we are all very unique individuals but these MBTI categories show us the common traits within our types. I'm also an ambivert so I struggle with wanting to keep things to myself and sharing my talents and personality with the world. In other words I struggle with wanting to share things for fear of seeming egotistical. Being humble is highly important to me.
I'm also very passionate about my ideals and values.
I'm an INFP and I love this video and appreciate your words.
Aw. Thanks for watching and for saying, Jaylon Rodriguez.
Wow, I was meant to see this video today, and its very reassuring to know I am being true to my own self. Earlier today, my sister and I got in a big argument over my choice in...lets just say, my choice in not doing something everyone in society is being pressured to do today. Her argument for why I should do it is because all of our family members have done it, and because according to the mainstream it is "the right thing to do." For my own personal circumstances, it doesn't make sense for me to make that choice with all things considered for how my environment in my day-to-day life looks like. My choice isn't specifically being made out of wanting to rebel from the mainstream...however, my choice won't be swayed solely based on giving into pressure for what the mainstream calls for. If I were to change my mind, it wouldn't be for the reason of fitting in. Thats something my sister might not be able to relate to. I've been called weird my whole life because my decision-making process isn't decided by what everyone else is doing, and that's okay - thats just affirming to me that I'm staying true to my own self no matter what that looks like. I would feel uncomfortable making a choice for myself based on someone else's belief system versus my own. I rely on my gut and intuition with many things, and if that doesn't make sense to someone else, thats fine...this is my journey in life after all and that is their's.
-an INFP woman in her late 20's
I enjoyed your video very much. I have only recently come to discover that the oddity that is me is not such an oddity after all. I've been fascinated by all things INFP for a short while now. Thank you for your contribution to this discussion. I haven't met many people with a grasp of these concepts, sadly. Keep up the good work.
Aw, look at you with your girls!
Starting to regret putting INFP into the search bar as a passing curiosity. Sensitivity doesn't necessarily imply fragility, it depends on how well you can influence your environment as well as how much you let it influence you. INFP make great leaders. As I matured I quickly learned the world will rarely live up to my ideals (you can learn to accept it, you have too) but even knowing that I'd still rather be stung and think the best of people, makes it easy to find the keepers.
I was once thrown on a stage in front of hundreds of people in a loin cloth and since then interviews and more inconvenient aspects of introversion don't impact me too much or at all, don't get me wrong, I'm still very much an introvert, but social anxiety is something entirely separate and it's very important you distinguish between the two.
I take a great deal of pride in my work and I feel I have allot to offer. So if you're a fellow mediator, you know your strengths better then anyone else and while you probably wont brag about them don't let your initial resistance get in the way.
Any other INFPs who want to be friends? 🙏
I already have 3 friends, but thanks! ;)
yes!
Sure. Why not?
Are u sure you're an INFP? lol 😆
how can i add u
So appreciate your sensitive reading of Elliott's interviews here, Enid, thank you for that.
I can really relate to this as an INFP. Thanks.
Intellectual words enunciated well. An intellectual look, sweater with scarf. Quiet corner with books, a place to think. Enid appears well spoken and smart. Then she drops that INFP's are "badass". That alone IS badass!
It's almost impossible to recognize that when observing oneself. For as good as we/I are/am when looking at others and understanding them, trying to do the same for oneself is the equivalent of psychological feedback. Ever point a live video camera at a TV or put a microphone too close to a speaker? Well, that but with consciousness.
Thank you for your point of view.
Good analogy, Pedro Rubio. :-)
When I’m taking a shower I turn the water off until I’m done lathering and ready to rinse the soap off of my body. People call me weird because of it but it makes sense to me. Proud INFP
I've gone through periods of doing that too, Flair Jordan. (For reasons of water conservation and because -- yeah! -- that is just what makes sense, especially if it's all the same per efficacy of cleaning and to your comfort.)
Along similar lines . . . Just the other day an INFP friend mentioned feeling guilty about her big boxes of sale Halloween candy she's been working her way through, ha.
Because she's so worried it's not normal to love chocolate that much, or because she'll get >FAT< and no man will ever love her, or something stupid like that?
Of course not! :-)
It's because she feels bad her consumerism had any teeny part of occasioning the wasteful and extra pollution of all those little plastic wrappers for the same volume of candy available with less packaging.
And so many heavy Fe-users unaware of Fi-typical trains of thought think INFPs are cold and uncaring, hahaha. If only they knew the crushing moral weights xNFPs tend to be involuntarily obsessed with trying to negotiate every day of their lives! There are exceedingly few, 'Yeah, whatever,' 'Everybody else is doing it, so . . . ' social-responsibility 'Hail Marys' any xNFP can breezily avail him- or herself of.
Navy shower.
Huh, I should start doing that
Yes! Save water.
wait.i thought that was normal h u h 👀👀👀✨
I cannot begin to put into words the appreciation I have for your videos! Please keep them up! Amazing job! (INFP here).
One of the most extraordinary aspect of this personality type is we have such love in our hearts. If our friend was in need of help or support, we are there in a flash. This is a part of this type that is very rare as people can be very selfish and money-focused presently. We love healing other people. Ourselves on the other hand, we don’t heal ourselves but we try to be content in our own bodies and channel our intense creativity (Mine being poetry and songwriting) And just in general being content. I am sensitive however I always get myself back up no matter what is thrown at me. We don’t give up. We take a break. But we don’t give up.
This was awesome. Thank you. (and as an INFP, the Depp video warmed my heart in so many ways. Mmmm thank you. I can relate and empathize with how he's feeling so much.)
It's so lovely to have found a video about our badassery, when all descriptions focus on how peaceful and overly diplomatic (almost pushover-y) we are. Thank you for this empowering and wonderful video ^^
I know this is two years old, but thank you for this. I've never heard anyone so clearly and succinctly express the nature of my experience in the world and I am grateful to have stumbled across this video.
enjoyed this so much! as an infp it's really nice to feel understood and that's heartwarming
An INFP that does 'toot their own horn', can do well. Look at Daenerys (yes she's fictional but) she is always this quiet emotional being but look what she becomes. Look what people see in her. I think she's a great example of how badass we can be.
How do you know she's an infp exactly?
I think she fits more in the INFJ boat, actually, but... doesn’t everyone these days?
"Determination of what one values that's independent from the group" ...this made me understand myself a lol better. How cool is this. Thank you for making me see my flaws as strengths and love myself a lot more xx
this video actually made me feel good about being me for once
You really are a star for doing this video,I've watched it several times over the past year and it still feels so,so accurate.You really get us don't you,and I love your eloquence with words :) Its always nice to feel appreciated,so thankyou,and please keep doing what you do so well,peace X
Ooh,also,I hope you don't mind but I posted a link to this video on the INFP subreddit as I love it so much,I hope thats ok.
I am an empath, a Cancerian woman and an INFP. I have a Tarot channel and am the epitome of what an INFP is. I totally dislike organized ANYTHING and dislike religion and politics also. A an older and more mature INFP and already acknowledged as an INFP I am also single and very happy being alone. I am alone but not lonely, it’s a wonderful place. ♥️🥰
Thanks for sticking up for us!
Don't mention it, splabbity, ha. (Great nickname.)
I love your explanation! Thank you so much! I'm an infp and this validation of my experience is so uplifting. You are spot on in how I shy away from bragging and talking about how great I may be. I have said "I'm not saying I'm better than them. I'm saying I don't understand how they can do that to someone." I will be watching this over and over. Lovely!
thank you for this video. You described the INFP downfalls and conquers well, and I especially loved your Elliot Smith reference! - INFP trying to find my way
As an INFP, I don't think I'm terribly private; its just that if I am going to reveal myself to someone, its going to come from a place of friendship or in the interest of trying to help someone. I actually enjoy storytelling quite a bit and don't mind putting my own personal experience out there. It just has to have a purpose, otherwise I keep it to myself.
one strong decision i made as a young INFP (at the age of 11) was to turn my back to religion, i am mexican and all my family it's catholic... when I started to form my own moral view of things I was so against the way religion merchant faith and spirituality, my family was surprised that an 11 year old was so out together with that decision that they end up accepting it because they knew I wasn't being dramatic or doing a show just because I didn't want to go to church that day,
I liked your video it gave an explanation to that event in my life hahaha I used to think that was strange the way I suddenly was in a fight mood when I'm usually very calm
Funny, as a 51 year old INFP I determined that Traditional Catholicism is the absolute Truth and have become devout.
@@thedudeabides3930 well I guess each to their own moral and spiritual ways, I'm aware that catholisms can be the answer to someone just not for me, but I'm glad that your religion gave you peace and the answers you were looking
Thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️‼️ I’m 28 years old and have just found out I’m an INFP and I resonated so much with the beautiful things you said! Thank you! I have felt so misunderstood my whole life and the only thing I crave is authenticity and kindness.
Beautifully described... I'm watching this video over and over again during the years. And I feel seen... and comfortable!
And yes, Johnny Depp smile is a pure poetry...
And I think that he is an INFP too, yes... So authentic, real, the truth is so important him, soft spoken...I feel all of that deeply.
🙏🤍👁🤍🙏
I love listening to you talk
Thank you!
What an interesting bunch! Respect out there to those brave enough to carve out a new trail in life
Thank you for doing this. Even before I did the mbti a few years ago, I began reflecting on myself as a kid. If I got in trouble, if someone was upset with me, I needed to understand why.
I've lost two close friends throughout my days back in school. I supported them in every way I thought possible, and it wasn't until recently that I realized that I unconsciously adapt to the people I speak with. I say to my close INTJ friend, who is the only friend I keep in close touch to, "it was one outburst on me (in those 4 years), I was stressed, it happens. They understood what was happening with my family. Just because I cope easily, and ignore a problem until it's escalated, doesn't mean that they can hate me. It doesn't mean I've given up. I've tolerated everyone in our group, and now suddenly I'm the bad one?" Even though I defended them for years, I instead found myself feeling more alone. Once you let people in, and all they do is take, we isolate ourselves. We sound superficial, and no, this isn't me crying a river. I wish people would try understanding our efforts. We take so much energy into pleasing others because then we feel good. Who wouldn't be, seeing the ones we care for happy?
And, with no context given, my mind is on overdrive, I couldn't agree more. I'm always thinking of my faults and how to improve them. It's important to me to accommodate others, that way they will stay with you and I feel safe. Once a close bond is formed, that's when it feels good and comfortable being more open and crazy and just me.
We are quiet, but don't be mistaken, we are very autonomous. Being surrounded by many people is draining with how much effort we go through to listen and learn. Being one step prepared in thought is reassuring. We are debaters, we spread our interests for posterity. Just get us unwound and we'll talk like crazy, we are passionate. It doesn't mean we value something more than the other, everyone has something they care for deeply. It's important for us to get our message across, but we get scrutinized for it.
That shuts us off. I lost another friend, who I thought was very close to me. You're right, authenticity matters. Hence, my regard to my INTJ friend for his opinion, "what did I do wrong?" According to him, because I came off too extreme in our shared interests, that this person pulled away from me. Despite my careful and gradual search in finding supportive friends who could accept me. But, here I am, patiently waiting, and continuing my reflection.
I can't thank my INTJ friend enough for his opinions and our disputes. It's great when he asks for my opinion. Apparently we both tend to get lost in our minds, so when he is unable to understand a person's reaction or response to him, I step in. I think this our best strength, being able to grasp all sides of the coin, and interpret it.
P.S. It's true that we talk to ourselves. It's strange, but the world is vast, and as long as we're distracted, the worries and need for people is gone. Our ideals matter, but for the most part (me personally), those ideals will always benefit someone else. If you're going to disagree with it, we need a reason. We don't toot our horn unless we feel comfortable, but even when we do it feels selfish. It's better said as, "we don't have time to toot it, we have to do better. Make use of what we've learned. Don't make the same mistakes." Gosh, it's so uncomfortable. But, it's true that if we're asked to speak we do it with our hearts, if they ask for it.
It's nice to be understood and acknowledged occasionally, so thank you for that. There are so many apparently INFPs on youtube here saying that the type is this or that because it's their personal experience. This vid seems to funnel more accurate (and should I say researched and/or scientific) INFP traits into one description, and it rocks. Now to check that Johnny Depp link. Peace.
I used to say as a teen I do what I damn well please
Rebels with a lot of causes. ;-) (Self-determination being one of them.)
lmao, thats right
I still do. I'm lawless, I don't follow rules at all. I think it's the Sagittarius in me. As soon as someone tells me something isn't possible, I try to prove them wrong. When someone gives me a riddle, the first thing I ask is" how long did it take you?" And then I try to crush their record!
GodmindNY NYC
That’s definitely a Sagittarius’s thing lol... I would know, my grandmas a Sadge, and boy is she fiery! 😂
@@justanotherloser2572 LMAO!! I'm gonna tell about this INFP female I tried to talk to. I never met a INFP, my game is pretty tight, but she wasn't trying to hear it. I get off at 5:00, I'll tell you about it when I get home.
OMG, I realate so much with that clip from Johnny Depp's interview. I even tried making my own youtube channel and gave up on it because i simply DEPISED watching myself after the video was done. By the time i was editing it looked kinda cool, and I wanted to show the videos to everyone around me, but later when I tried to watch it, it'd give me so much anxiety. It's really weird. I feel like if I was an actor, especially a famous and successful one like him, I would absolutely NOT want to watch my movies. I'd watch the first few ones but later on i'd probably cringe so much
I adore your title of this vid. I have the biggest smile on my face and giggling to myself. I too am an INFP. I've always been a little off center... and soooooooo sensitive. We're also really nice and so some underestimate us. That's a big mistake... just bc we're nice doesn't mean you can get one over on us. Thing is, when other's don't think we have a clue, trust me we have a big clue! We see exactly what's going on, we just don't say anything bc we're watching, we're feeling your vibe, we're picking up on non verbal, tone of voice, all kinds of information that nobody else does. Thanks for your info I wasn't privy to a couple of things. Lovenlight
As an INFP I clicked powerfully with what you said about an INFP getting assertive about "what I meant." I recognized a long time ago, long before I ever looked into any of this MBTI stuff or heard of INFP, that for some reason ("Am I just weird?") it was vitally important to me to make my point clear, to know that others, like in a workplace round table session, accurately registered what I MEANT. Someone once observed that I had a tendency to insist on my view being the right one, or the correct way for the group to go in (this being highly ironic coming from somebody who tended to erupt in fury when contradicted and around whom others tended to stuff their views to avoid another eruption; I thought it very telling that this observation came at me from this person). Considering, too, the fact that this observation was launched at me in the context of a workplace history where I had never been a key decision-maker or trailblazer and where I had never aspired to take charge and had, in fact, always "gone with the program" in a fully supportive way (though inwardly compartmentalizing quite consciously between energetic supportive cooperation, on the one hand, and wholehearted identity of outlook, on the other, an inner reserve perhaps something jesuitic?), I found his charge to be slightly tone-deaf. What I told him was, "I strongly want to know that I've actually made my point CLEAR, that everybody knows what I MEAN. I don't insist on everybody agreeing. In fact, even if nobody agrees, I'm perfectly content, as long as I know they accurately know WHAT it is they're disagreeing with. Because, otherwise, I have failed." The surprise on his face told me he had never looked at that way before. Which also was telling. Apparently, according to his psychological framework, the only reason a person would ever argue his point was to see to it everybody concurred. I...can't relate to that. At all. Even though I may think my idea is right or the best one (though I'm usually profoundly uncertain about that), my life doesn't hang on everybody going along, especially when, after all, I'm not the one in charge. I make my best pitch, to be as helpful as I can, but ultimately the one in charge has to carry the responsibility of the decision. Once I've released my burden, which is to formulate the thing I "see" in my mind, I'm free. I mean, I still care, but...I'm free. I did/said what I thought best.
What a FANTASTIC, meaty comment, Ken Sears. I appreciate the confirmation feedback, and vivid real-life illustrations. Thank you.
Funny coincidence: Just a couple of days ago I had reason unrelated to this channel to listen again, a few years on, to ENFP Mike Boudria's Part 2 of his interview of his teenage ISTJ son about general characteristics of the SJ 'Guardians' (NF Geeks with Dr. Mike channel).
In it, Mike made the totally valid, counter-intuitive (to types other than xxFPs, at any rate) observation that -- unlike the SJs, to whom being approved of by the mainstream and being publicly recognized for their contributions are very important -- ENFPs (INFP's 'sister type') are after a different kind of recognition = of who they really are and what they really mean -- even if that means disgrace for us! It was a great insight -- one you've been so kind as to explain in full here. :-)
@@EnidFPatternson Wow, that was really fascinating in return! Thank you so much!
@@kensears5099 Allow me, as well, to demonstrate the kind of relentless authenticity drive heavy use of Fi involves AND how it is that an obsession with getting things _right_ where it matters most -- to _them_ * -- is the province especially of xNxPs = heavy users of introverted 'judging' functions, both Fi and Ti. . . ;-)
The extension I made as to what motivations this is about stands, but I now recall more precisely that in the funny example Boudria gave (to parallel the observation that public recognition of good deeds is particularly important to SJs), it was _accurate_ recognition of whatever an ENFP has _done_ that would be important to him or her, whether 'good' or 'bad', as in, e.g., placing last in a foot race, hahaha.
I believe this would be because involuntary obsession with their notions of fairness and alignment of actions and their representations with moral code is _THAT_ important to the 'Feeler' xxFPs, whereas the heavy Ti-using 'Thinker' xTPs tend to be involuntarily obsessed with representation of thoroughgoing logical consistency and fine-grain factual accuracy.
* The schematicizations devised by the introverted functions always being ineluctably idiosyncratic to some extent.
@@EnidFPatternson Very close and fine thinking. I enjoy that, thank you!
I’m INFP and I hold my cutlery wrong. I don’t care that I hold it so strangely don’t judge me.
Haha me too!
Lol same here, and I tie my shoe laces in a really unconventional way and it freaks people out
I have always held a baseball bat the wrong way. I was always a good player though and ignored all the teasing. 😂
I've always received comments that I write like a left-handed person when I'm right-handed
I got yelled at and hit for that when I was a kid.
Infp gang 🌻🌸🌷🌺💫❤️
Haha - love the title (and that's coming from me... an INFJ!!). On top of that, I also found it to be a really insightful video. So thanks for sharing, Enid! :) INFPs are a great bunch!
Scary accurate description of me as an INFP. Very helpful, thank you.
Are you even a true INFP if you don't have existential crisis for a few minutes everyday?
You're not a true one unless you've had at least one by noon every day. ;-)
Great video! My girlfriend is an INFP and this fits her perfectly. Thank you. You are so smart! As an aside, you remind me SO MUCH of Madeleine Kahn, especially in your voice. How fun! :-)
Thanks, Aubrey. :-)
Isn't that funny! I've never imagined there's a resemblance, nor have I ever been told I look like Kahn in face-to-face life. But that's the second time a viewer has exclaimed about it. Will look more closely.
I think it's mostly your voice and speech inflections. It's a total complement! :-) MK was so awesome! I'm remembering her way back in the 70's.
I am so happy to watch this and gather info about the INFPs. I have lived all my life feeling different... Now I know. Loving people and loving solitude. Somehow we leave in a Paradox world. Now I know. Thank you.
Thank you for this accurate explanation of how infps truly are. Most people focus on the dreamy part, but it's just a part. We have a very raw unapologetic side that I keep trying to tame...so I can make friends...
😅 If they paid me for every time I got in trouble for helping a person been bullied, I would be as rich as Bruce Wayne... damn values, they are a curse! (....and a blessing..., damn it!) Long live INFPs.
Hi Enid - I just found out yesterday doing the 16personalities test that I am an INFP. It makes SO much sense, it actually felt both liberating and slightly overwhelming in a good way to fully realise as to why I am the way I am.
Listening to your video, I can definitely relate.
And btw, Johnny Depp shows up as an INFP on that 16personalities website :-)
P.S. Are you yourself an INFP?
Steve Thomas I’m an INFP... and Johnny Depp and myself share the same rising sign: Scorpio, and sun sign: Gemini. I find it fascinating how I’m literally the girl version of Depp. Both INFP. We BOTH have Scorpio Rising/Ascendant. And BOTH of us are Gemini. Kewllll to me :)
I would love for you to make more videos. You have a great speaking style.
I love Johnny's personality. He's like a geode. Unpretentious on the outside, but amazingly beautiful on the inside.