Entitled people in relationships get exposed - REACTION
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- čas přidán 12. 11. 2023
- Entitled people in relationships get exposed - REACTION
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Well, hello, lovely viewers! Charlotte Dobre is back with a front-row seat to the rollercoaster of entitled people in relationships, and trust me, it's a ride you won't want to miss! 🎢💔🤣
In this uproarious video, Charlotte spills the tea on partners who believe the world revolves around them like a romantic merry-go-round. From the significant other who thinks breakfast in bed should be a daily royal affair to the one who insists on being the star of every relationship selfie, these stories are more entertaining than a rom-com marathon! 🍳📸👑
Prepare to gasp, giggle, and guffaw as Charlotte dissects these cringe-worthy tales with her signature wit and charm. Her reactions are pure comedy gold, and her commentary will have you questioning your own relationship dynamics. It's a reality check you never knew you needed! 😂🤷♀️💏
So grab your popcorn, hit that subscribe button, and let's dive headfirst into the world of Exposing Entitled Partners with Charlotte Dobre. It's like a relationship therapy session, but with more laughs and fewer awkward silences! 🍿💑🤣
Don't forget to share your own tales of entitled relationship partners in the comments below - because we know you've got some gems. And, of course, ring that notification bell to ensure you don't miss out on the next laugh-out-loud episode! 🛎️😆👏
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AITA - Where I decide if you're the AH or not ;) - bit.ly/3Wds7w6
Petty Revenge ! - bit.ly/3PwAUHl
Entitled People Stories - bit.ly/3FtDB83
Crazy Wedding Stories ! - bit.ly/3j1Xonu
Caught A Cheater ? - bit.ly/3FTyFuI
In-Laws From HELL ! - bit.ly/3YqjReg
Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I make a joke or two. I love poking fun at social media, weddings, entitled people, tiktok and OF COURSE petty people. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
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This is why she won't even let his grandma come to stay for a short while. She immediately knew the responsibility would be dumped 100% on her. This is the kind of thing that leads to divorce.
Exactly! At this point I think she’d be better off just divorcing him. Just throw the whole man away 🗑️
And this man sounds like one of those really ungrateful guys too! Even if she caves in, this man will just take everything she does for his grandma for granted and act like it's what she's supposed to be doing all along. This man is just an awful husband.@@plvtoisaplanet
I know. At first I thought she was being a bit rude but then he started demanding that SHE do all these things for the grandma but nowhere does he says WE will do it or we can split the work or I will take care of her.
@@oindrila101 ya. For me it was his whole tone. Not giving a single eff about her life/schedule. Just putting the entire responsibility on her, on top of her already busy life. His arrogance and bossiness is second to none!!
Absolutely!
19:12 the fact that he not only told her that his grandmama will be moving in and that she will now be a caretaker, but also ambushed her with a damn camera to post and shame her.
I kinda wanna find just to see the comments.
For real. Abusive as heck. 😒
I wouldn't be surprised if the next post is about their divorce.
Yuck, I was a caretaker for my grandparents and my mom during my childhood and 20s. It is A LOT of work, emotionally draining and energy sapping. I don't get why he can't fork out the money for a nurse and create a suite/kitchenette for her. Unless she needs 24/7 care, then unfortunately I would look at good homes with the care she needs.
@@catherinegarcia07there was a similar video of a guy filming his wife when he was just like this guy, the wife divorced his narcissist /misogynist ass and is now a totally successful single mama with millions of subscribers on tiktok.
21:02 he literally says, “Because, you the woman.” That would be me out the door. But I’m sure this isn’t the first time his misogyny showed itself. She shouldn’t have reproduced with this pig.
That Grandma story did not go the way I was expecting. But the minute I heard him say "I talked to my mom and ..." Like bro? Suddenly the truth appeared. This man and his mother decided that his poor wife was going to be the one to take care of grandma. Why can't his mother do it, it's her responsibility. Hope that lady and the grandmother are both okay, to hell with the selfish people.
My mother tried to do the same thing to me. I'm disabled and chronically ill, hardly able to take care of myself! Grandma doesn't even know my name, and has never shown any interest in me.
The AUDACITY of that man to put a camera in his partner’s face like he is not making the most FOOLISH request 😭 “why don’t you stay at home and take care of her and I’ll work?” Exactly. “Take care of my family” my goodness!! He’s volunteering her for another full time job, on top of hers and taking care of the kids! The absolute audacity?!
She should file for divorce. The way he was yelling at her was infuriating.
The last “husband” is a real piece of work. Recording her, and hoping to shame her for refusing to let his grandma move into their home, and force his wife to take care of her bc she’s the “women”. Why can’t the grandmas children take her in? Or other grandkids? That husband is delusional and showed his true colors. I’m invested now. Really want to know what happened
I'm against sexism as a whole, but if you're going to have a relationship that sticks to gender roles, at least do it right. In a traditional marriage, the woman is meant to take care of the kids and the home. But you know what else traditional marriage requires? It requires the man to financially provide for the family. She shouldn't need a job. And the fact that he's yelling at her, disrespecting her, and trying to force this responsibility on her without her consent? Divorce.
Same. My husbands mothers moved in with us, and I took care of her. Fortunately, my girls were already grown and out of the house, so it was a little easier, but she was not an easy person to get along with.
Plus, shortly after, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and after a couple years, the disease got so bad, it was dangerous for her and us. We had to eventually put her in a home, which we felt terrible about.
But, she forgot everything.....she forgot who we were, what anything was, and even how to use a fork and spoon, so she ate with her hands. It was so sad.
We do need to look after our families, and the thing of everyone living apart came in the 20th century, and actually became detrimental to the family unit. Our paren ts DO get old, and they can't do everything by themselves any more. Homes are outrageously expensive, which the government doesn't pay for. And the homes they DO pay for, can be wretched. It took her entire savings to keep her there, but I'm glad she had that. But, we still had to buy her clothes, and utilities etc. This is a part of life folks don't want to even LOOK at any more, which is sad. Death is part of life, and we are ALL aging. I think it's a subject that MUST be talked about more, and families need to address together BEFORE the situations arise. ......be prepared for each stage of life as much as possible.
If he wants a traditional marriage, then he needs to traditionally provide PERIOD
@@dede4004 Yeah putting elderly parents to a home just to avoid the responsibility, is just cruel. That practice needs to stop. 😢
👏👏 can’t have it all ways. Life is tough out here, you can’t just dump it all on your wife.
I don't know if anyone else caught in the grandma story that the husband said something along the lines of 'my mom told me her routine is simple'. If her own children are alive and capable of taking care of grandma, why are they trying to force the responsibility on the wife? Throw the whole family away.
I was wondering if there was any mention of the dude's parents because he is not the generation that should be responsible anyways. If there was no one from that next generation up still around or capable, that might make his side slightly (I mean, very slightly) more understanding, but as it is, he sounds like a terrible husband and an a-hole for trying to force the responsibility on his wife's shoulders. What I find interesting, and a little laughable is he didn't deny that the wife already basically does everything for their household anyways, because other than work, he couldn't name a single reason why he wouldn't be able to take care of his Grandma.
His family, like many out there, won't take on that responsibility themselves. He's wrong for putting that onto his wife but I can understand why he doesn't want his grandma in a retirement home. Lots of times the elderly are just left and forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind. Some of my relatives were like that with my grandma. They'd rather remember as she was, rather than with Alzheimer's.
Yes, I caught that!!! It's amazing how his Mom can conveniently come up with a schedule for his grandmother's care. But not actually take responsibility for her care😮😮 The audacity!!!
🗑
@@Tysonator1000 I get it, my grandmother is in a group home and has been incredibly lonely since her friends in the same home passed away. I would go visit her myself but she lives four hours away by plane so it's just not possible for me to help and be there. It sucks and I feel bad for the grandma in this situation. Not to the point where I think the husband is in the right, hell no, but her own family doesn't want to take care of her and would rather shove her onto her GDIL... How sad is that?
21:18 hear how he started stuttering just because he expected to be obeyed without a complain and without taking part of the responsibility. And when denied he panicked because he cant handle boundaries
I wonder who’s gonna take care of her if she divorces him 💀💀🤣 He’s choosing the wrong battle
Charlotte is 100% correct. Wanting to take in his granny and making the arguement for it as they have the room, financials etc is one thing. Not listening to her concerns about it is wrong THEN TELLING HER what shes gunna do ... no sir no
Don't hijack someone's date, ever. Have some dignity, decency, respect for the people on the date, and self-respect!
Pathetic
I was at a concert and kept making eyes with a handsome dude, then I saw him after the dj session…with his wife! I gave him an ugly look and he looked so embarrassed
Guarantee that relationship will dramatically implode. The universe doesn’t forget.
@@Austenfan177She'll like him until she finds out he goes for every girl that shows him a bit of attention. He will cheat since the beginning of the relationship.
@@Austenfan177 LOL right
I honestly feel bad for the girl from the first story. I can't imagine going on a date with someone (and they could have been dating awhile), and the waitress flirts with him so much that she forgets her other tables???
She's a better woman than I, I would've done something.
honestly would have left
This happened to me, not exactly but similar - she was a singer at a cute place we went to on a double date. A few weeks later we broke up because he cheated. Guess who i found all over his social media a while after we reconnected :)
@@vampireslayer3821I would have left...after eating whatever was the most expensive stuff on the menu as a form of a$$hole tax 😂
@@dermaspaceSC I would have ordered but as soon as it got to the table asked for a box and took it to go, lol.
so much respect for that last lady, her husband was literally bullying her
Charlotte as someone who has cared for two terminally ill family members and moved in with my grandfather for some time, I don't think there's a problem with people having outside care at all. It was one of the worst times of my life, deeply, deeply depressing. If you go on the carers forums they are pretty much suicidal, often resentful and unable to cope. My grandfather was often drunk, refused to wear any clothing at all, stark naked all the time, peed over everything, even if you'd just cleaned it, pooed everywhere and the trod or sat in it. I had to wash him and wipe his bum, he wouldn't let me sleep, he caused carnage, often doing very dangerous things. It's not just the cooking and trying to stay on top of cleaning. When people lose it mentally there is also rarely gratitude, and often just nastiness. It's utterly horrific, he refused any outside care, and there were no other family members, I wish he'd gone into assisted living.
"Because thats what women do" heck no. Good for her for standing up for herself. She's caring for the house, kids, and him on top or working her job and he expects her to take care of HIS granny. And it sounds like he doesnt help her. Sounds like he needs a reality check of doing it all on his own and see how well he does
Some folks are very good at managing a shit ton of things all at the same time making it look effortless giving idiots like her husband the impression that it’s easy. He has absolutely no concept of how demanding what she does is making him feel entitled to dump more on her. I’d pack his shit up n set it on the porch. He can move in with granny to take care of her since he believes it would be so easy. 😩 She can do fine without that joker.
It's a point of pride for guys like that. "Look at all these women I got doin' for me."
I bet he doesn't help clean the house either. She's got a job, kids and a house to run. Grandma might just sit and watch TV now but as time goes on she might have additional needs that he expects his wife alone to deal with on top of everything else. Absolutely not.
This pissed me OFF! It’s like NOTHING she did was enough!!!
Yeah, you can't be inviting people into a home and expect someone else to take care of them. My roomie (bestie of 20 years) and I got a puppy earlier this year, and it was very thoroughly discussed that while I would pay for everything, (due to my spine being injured) she had to be in charge of most of the physical care. I didn't just get a puppy and demand she care for it, caring for the pup is an effort shared between us, but this guy thinks his wife needs to care for a whole, entire other human being? So even with something like a pet, there's got to be agreement on the rules and responsibilities.
Last one: LEAVE HIM. It's not about taking care of grandma or not, it's about him dumping this on her like it's her problem and her duty to manage.
It his her problem since THEY'RE MARRIED. I bet she'd sing a different tune if it was her grandparent.
No. Caretaking is a full time job. She is already working a job, caring for two kids, and caring for her husband and a household. She can't be expected to also take on the full time responsibility of caring for his elderly grandmother with no help. But then just flat out demanding? This little boy didn't even have the capacity to have a rational adult conversation, which might have actually gone a bit better. They could have worked out a solution together to have the grandmother cared for properly outside of the home. Being forced to care for the elderly or disabled is a marriage-ending circumstance that can be avoided. Then again, the wife seems like she would benefit from divorcing that little boy.
But it sounds like she already does all domestic labor without him helping even though they both have jobs wich is not fair. If he had asked her how do you feel about her staying and I primarily take care of her or we take care of her and I start helping out with the kids and chores that be different. A lot of men slave their wives into an u fair amount of domestic labor.
@@silververnallbells191 Wife doesn't equal servant. She is not responsible for any member of his extended family and certainly not something so time-intensive as caretaking.
It's also about him trying to shame her by recording the conversation and uploading it for the internet. This guy has no respect for his wife, her time, or her ability to make her own choices.
I was soo grateful to see everyone support the wife cause flat out that was wild.
I totally understood the woman frustration about not wanting to take care of her husbands grandmother. I’ve seen multiple times through friends and my own family where men have great ideas or bring things home and the wife and/or woman is the sole person responsible; whereas, the person with the “great idea” does absolutely nothing. One lesson I will take with me to my grave is..”if your idea does not come with you being responsible or taking some action with it, then it’s not an idea, it’s just labor and responsibility for someone else”.
I love how the husband started to stutter when she said " I said no and what are you gonna do about it ".. pathetic little man
Maybe his brain short-circuited 🧠 & he fried off what was left of his neurons😅
@@JadedKateI think the last leaf on his tree blew away.
he knew he lost right then. once she gave him those eyes after that sentance, he knew hed lost.
That wife is ICONIC
@@meganwalsh8014 She'd be an exwife if it were up to me.
That last man does not respect his wife, he only sees her as a caretaker/servant, not her own person with her own needs and desires
He doesn't want to pay for the old age home, that's all
He is straight up abusive, he insult her her, litteraly order her around, emotionally manipulated her and then film it and put it online as an attempt to humiliate her.
He is the lowest of the lows and is extremelyyyyyy sexist but only where it directly benefit him and litteraly scream and abuse her is she “steps out of lines”
Funny how he think it’s a “women’s job” to take care of his family but somehow not HIS jobs to pay ALL the bills completely alone and not giving her plenty of fun money too? Almost has of he knew it was bs but gave him a reason to scream at her lol
@@moonhunter9993then why can’t he do it himself? Pure laziness
@@moonhunter9993well that’s too damn bad isn’t? Awwww big man doesn’t want to spend the money to make sure his “precious grandma” is taken care of??? Too damn bad.
@@that_pan_chick8650 I agree, just pointing out the real motive
21:04
GET IT GIRL! Stand your ground! I love that she never back down and hit him with the "Alright, looks like we have a problem. What are you gonna do about it?" And he completely stumbles over his words, cause he ain't going to do NOTHING about it. I really hope he either changes for the better and becomes a better husband, or she realizes her worth and leaves. Poor thing is over his BS.
OMG!!! The audacity of that entitled husband!!! How is he NOT EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!
The audacity of the man thinking it's his wifes responsibility to take care of his grandma. Wow. These men are delusional. I'm proud of her for standing up for herself.
Guy here, totally agree. dude is an idiot
ANd he honestly doesn't GET the problem! amazing!
Right?! I'm invested now, too lol... I so hope she didn't cave
Not all of them, but, DEFINITELY THAT DUDE!
I was all ready to get all over her but nah, she right. She right tho. She’s so right that her husband got tongue tied and couldn’t think of anything to say. I’m all for supporting the older generation but I only sign myself up for that. It would be nice to have the wife on board and willing to help too but that is for her to decide.
I remember that video! I saw it a while ago, and I'm just as disgusted now as I was then. That man wanted to be the good son for taking the grandmother in, but he was immediately offloading that labor onto his wife, who is already taking care of a home, a job and their kids!! He had the audacity to DICTATE how she was going to be a full time caregiver and then had the nerve to imply that she's just lazy because she's ENJOYING HER DOWNTIME. I wanted to leap into the video and starting packing her bags for her, that's how pressed I was. The audacity, the gall, the very CHEEK of that man
I couldn’t agree more. Absolutely disgusting he is. I was clapping back FOR her. I need a part 3. I hope he either swerved back into his lane or I hope they are no longer together.
They always attack you when you're taking time off, like he expects her to be doing something ALL the time. That wasn't fair. He gets to have his free time while she does all the work? Hell no
My MIL had alzheimer's and lived with us 1 year. It was mutually agreed (I offered to take care of her) that we will bring her in. I tell you, taking care of someone it's the hardest thing EVER! She was a sweetheart that flooded 3 of our 4 bathrooms, almost burned my house twice, would not allow me to relax (she'll talk through any tv show), needed a special diet. Fortunately the kids were still young enough that they were not in many sports and activities at the time, because I always had to take her EVERYWHERE and even though she was a sweetheart, she had other complications and needed a special chair, where the nearest bathroom was, etc. I counl't sleep as she wandered through the house all night long, neither we had sex for almost a year. Do I regret it? No. Was I happy when she left (another brother took her home) YES! Would I do it again? Hell NO!
like in the old times... where women were property of men and they had no say but to work their butts off. respect for our female ancestors.
@@jaypee5633 Exactly! Alzheimer's is a beast to deal with, both for the patient and their family, I know you were going through it for sure and you're a champ for it. Those are all the potential "hidden costs" of taking on a sick and/or elderly person who needs professional care. I'm still so shocked that the man and HIS family didn't pool their money to get her to a decent rest home. The fact that she was being pawned off further down the family totem pole to a relative-by-marriage was crazy to me.
When the husband was telling his wife she had to take care of his grandmother, he said “my mother said all you have to do is”. That tells me his mother is pawning her responsibility to take care of her own mother off onto her daughter in law.
That’s not right. She needs to take care of her own mother not pass the responsibility of her care to anyone unless she’s paying for a caretaker.
Call visiting angels!
As someone who took care of their little momma for 10 yrs. If your heart isn't in it, don't do it because there's nothing routine or easy about it. Grandma's own children are still around. It's their responsibility.
Buddy really went in there with a camera thinking the internet would side with him, but instead caught himself making a total ass of himself. HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARASSED?!
aren't you suppose to take care of your elders? they are married grandmother is family
@@vijayukarde8723 taking care of your elders is important, but not respecting your partner's time, choices, and boundaries is the main problem here. He even said, "you're the woman" to her, as if that took away any of his responsibility towards the situation. not only that but she also has a job and he's harassing her about this in her downtime, calling her "lazy". other reasons why she may not want to take care of the grandmother could also include not feeling qualified to do it or not having the time to do it, which is perfectly reasonable! maybe she doesn't have a good relationship with his grandmother; we don't know what was going on behind the scenes and we can only make assumptions.
What I personally take from this video is that the wife clearly stated a boundary, and the husband is clearly trying to bulldoze that boundary, even mentioning that he and his mother (who would traditionally have the responsibility of taking care of her mother) went behind the wife's back to make a decision for her without her consent
Are you blind and deaf? He wanted HER to take full responsibility of taking care of HIS grandmother on top of taking care of HIM and their twins, as well as the job she already has. Then to demand that she do it because it's woman's work is just pathetic. @@vijayukarde8723
@@vijayukarde8723 And where exactly is the rest of the family in the middle of this man's entitled tirade? He's not taking care of HIS grandmother; he's shoving her off on his wife who is already working, raising children, & keeping a home. What the heck is he contributing besides stress?
@@vijayukarde8723I guess you missed the part where HE isn’t taking care of his elders…he’s trying to force his wife to do it when she already looks after him, the children, the house and she works. It’s the fact that he isn’t respecting her boundaries, trying to find a work around, saying he will help as well or ANYTHING. How have you missed all of that?! 🤦🏻♀️
I would 100% be considering divorce if my husband did that to me, especially with a camera stuck in my face to try and make me look bad online.
That lady, " nobody said you had to get a 1 star nursing home." Facts! 😂
hahahaha right?! there's INCREDIBLE places
@@bambiholmes Except incredible places cost incredible amounts of money. Even the lowest rated places are pretty expensive.
@@imjuliewatersoh well…he can do his due diligence and research and find something decent within his budget.
Time is expensive..and peace of mind is priceless.
the saddest part of the last video to me is that nothing is private anymore. Instead of having the discussion in private, the husband BURST into the room to film himself demanding his wife take care of his nan and when she said no, he just retaliated by posting it. Its sad to think that if you know your partner wont agree with you, that filming them arguing with you and posting it to get strangers online to argue for you is an option.
Btw: imo, he is in the WRONG for DEMANDING his wife take care of him, the kids, the nan, her work AND herself
I had to say no to this too when I was married. Absolutely ridiculous that he not only filmed this private conversation but also demanded this from her. Call the lawyer.
That husband demanding his wife take care of his grandmother is delusional. She deserves better!
No, she doesn't "deserve better". You marry into a family and with that comes responsibility. If you can't handle it then don't get married. REAL marriage isn't for the selfish.
edit: It may be 2023, but gender roles do certainly still exist and it's a woman's primary job BY NATURE to be a care taker.
@@silververnallbells191no
@@silververnallbells191 - Heck no. That man can move right in with his grandma and take care of her himself.
It’s not just delusional. The way he approached her and demanded what she needs to do as if she is beneath him is straight EVIL.
@silververnallbells191 it's also 2023 where most families need double income to pay for bills.
That last story I was waiting for her to say "fine grandma can come stay, I'll pack my things and leave you to it" 😂
Well done, she stood her ground though. Her husband is awful to demand that of her.
I loved it when she asked him what he going to do when she said no🙃
She actually told him that he could move out with grandmama and take care of her after they divorce. I don't see why she has too pack? She told him he can do it and get out lol.
At first I felt bad at first for the girl in the first story, being on a date and your date ignores you. I thought about it, she dodged a bullet. At least she wasn't married to him, now she can learn and move on.
about the last story, my own mother told me several times that when she gets too old to take care of herself my brother and i are absolutely NOT allowed to use our time on taking care of her because that is not our responsibility. "i put you into this world, i chose to take care of you, not the other way around. All i expect from the two of you is to visit once in a while and have a cup of tea and cake with me. we have nurses taking care of the elderly for a reason, i want you to focus on building your own life and not your parents." (we currently live in norway, moved from poland, and it's a very progressive country in a lot of aspects so that is not a bad solution for us specifically) and thing is, she herself experienced first hand judgement from our family for not taking care of HER parents, my grandparents, when they were getting very sick. she talked to them every day, sent them money for different expenses and called them every single day, but that was still not enough. mind you, we lived in a DIFFERENT COUNTRY. my mom can't just drop her own family to baby her own elderly parents unfortunately. I love my mum with every cell in my body.
Unless you are an actual caretaker with the time and resources, don't take in elderly or disabled family. This is a marriage-ending decision if someone forces that on you, and we can all see why!
Exactly what i was thinking! Taking care of an elder is a lot of work which is why nursing homes exist. Though i totally understand why he wouldn’t want to send his grandmother there, it’s still not on the wife to take care of her. You can tell that the husband only see her as a maid/ care taker and not a partner because maybe they could have talked about it together to come to a solution that everyone could have been happy with.
Too true. Myself and my partner of 4 years are gearing up to move his mother into a house with us bc we don't have the resources for the type of care facility she needs (she has Lewy Body Dementia and it's moving aggressively for her). We have talked and talked and talked about this. Exhausted every other option. So, this will be one of the great trials of our relationship, but we're in it together. She never married and he is her only child. She has nobody but us so we will do what we must.
So about five years back my MIL was due to get open heart surgery. I asked my husband if he needed to stay with her (she lived alone) to help her recover. We have a child with autism, yet at no time did he expect me to do anything for his ma. I looked into temp home healthcare for her and all of that and they were thankful.
Unfortunately she passed the morning of her surgery from CAD. Had she lived, I would have done what I could to help out because caregiving is difficult and exhausting.
@@ivonne58270yeah the "because you're the woman" comment was the marriage ender for me.
And why was he filming the 'discussion' about his grandmother stay...
Pro tip: If you're partner expects you to do certain things solely because 'you're the woman' (or because 'you're the man' depending on the situation) I would seriously reevaluate my relationship. literally, I would be packing my things and leave for some time after my partner drops something like that. Before that attitude ain't out of the way this relationship cannot proceed.
Uh oh. My husband is probably reevaluating our relationship right now. I’ve definitely told him that because he’s the man, he has to kill all the bugs 💀😂
I don't even have time to reevaluate because I'm packing my bags so fast
To the OP that was a server at the Cheesecake Factory: if they cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you.
I lived that discussion about "Grandmother" coming to live in the house. I am 65, hubby is 73 his MOTHER was 93 at the time. Hubby is retired. I am not, but I work from home. In one year hubby realized that the care of an older person is sooooooo much that he could not handle it. Only after I complained about my "free time" taken up with assisting with showers, fixing her meals, cleaning up from meals, eating messes, cleaning up after bathroom accidents (daily), assisting her to bed routines and that doesn't include Dr. appts, medication administering, etc. It was just as difficult as having a 4 year old in the house. Hubby would not spend the money on a home care person. I can not scream loud enough, if you have the means to put an elderly family member into the correct facility, Do it, everyone will be happier and healthier. Save a marriage, save your own retirement life. DO NOT feel guilty.
“You lose them how you got them” is my response to the first one 😂😂 that’s honestly so sick to do!! You should NEVER feel so comfortable flirting with someone else’s partner. That’s disgusting and she had NO SHAME, along with no self respect and awareness.
Karma always finds you. Don't know how she can ever feel comfortable knowing her guy is so easily distracted by a girl who pays attention to him and has no respect for the person he's with.
When I was a server, if a man tried to flirt with me when on a date, I'd compliment the heck out of the chick. No way I'm gonna let a guy be disrespectful a woman on my time. Even if the dude was mad that I didn't flirt back, the chicks always made sure I got a good tip
@@dermaspaceSC This is how it's done. I'd tip you double.
If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you
My thoughts exactly🙏🏽🤍
When I was a waitress I would be extra careful to not look at a guy too much and talk to the women more than the man because I wanted them to feel it was a safe place and they didn't have to worry about the waitress flirting with their boyfriend/husband's. It's really unprofessional and tells me everything I need to know about the kind of person she is.
Me too. I always pay attention to the girl.
I smile but don't flirt with men with dates.
Now those old guys.... I flirt like the devil and I always get great tips
This one time, a couple came to my register. The husband was GORGEOUS. I mean…so good looking I couldn’t stop staring at him. (For context, I’m a gay man). I tried not to be obvious but it clearly wasn’t working because the wife smiled, looked me dead in the eye and said “ He IS cute isn’t he?”. I was mortified 😂
I’m a shop ssistant and I do that too! I'm happy to see other women have this code too. When a couple comes to the shop I pay special attention to the girls and just look most of the time at her and not at her partner. Most of all because we sell woman clothes lol. but mainly because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or make her think that I have any type of interested in him. I also talk with him or look at him sometimes I don’t wanna look rude or make him feel excluded but just enough to don’t make him feel uncomfortable. I do this always as I know how it feels. this happened to me once while I was shopping clothes for me with my ex, there was a shop assistant that didn't even look at me in the eye, just to him and she was seducing him in front of me! And he was so cool with that, I felt so uncomfortable that I just left and I let them talking there. ofc we are no longer dating, this was just one of the disgusting things the did that make me end the relationship. now I'm in a healthy relationship with the most respectful, caring and loving man I ever met. While my ex has not been able to have a stable relationship since we broke up, I don't feel any pity for him. Girls know your worth!
I’m a teacher and I always pay more attention to the mom, better to be safe than sorry when it comes to being professional.
The worst is that some girls do it for fun… and the fun is in the gf/wife’s face 😢
17:38 this man is wild af!! He has absolutely no plan to help. That's the main issue. She knows her husband and he's blatantly telling her she's going to be taking care of her. FOH!!!!! 21:01 floored me!!!!
If that guy really wanted to have his grandma there he would have spoke with all his family members and figured out a schedule where all of THEM can pitch in to take care of her.
My mother developed early onset dementia when I was 15, which meant that until we finally got her into a home when I was 20, I was her almost full-time carer. Little surprise I have five different diagnoses for various trauma and anxiety disorders. Good on the wife for standing her ground. 👏👏
My Mom and her sister tried to care for my Grandmother. Gram would get up at two in the morning and start to prepare for a picnic. (She actually DID sneal out fo the nursing home at a later point.) It was a 24-hour-a-day task.
@@oldgeezer2780 My mum tried to do the same with my grandpa when he had Lewy's body disease. He would do quite similar things, then get angry when mum tried to prevent him from going out in the woods in the middle of the night and things like that. It really stressed their relationship.They both did better after he moved to a care home, where the professionals took care of his basic needs/ medical care and us relatives could just concentrate on chatting with him, taking him for walks and stuff like that.
I truly understand your pain. Me and my now husband moved in with his grandparents, for multiple reasons, years ago when we were in our early 20s. At the time, we didn't realize his grandmother was rapidly deteriorating due to alzheimers. For 5 plus years I ended up becoming her full time caregiver because the family did not want to step up. I am a caring person and took on way more than I could handle. It destroyed me mentally and emotionally and to this day still deal with ptsd from that whole situation. I pray you are able to heal ❤
We ended up moving out because I got pregnant and had reached the end of my mental/emotional capacity. It was time for me to focus on my new little family. Some members of his family treated me like crap and called me selfish for wanting to move out. No one truly understands what it's like unless you've been there 24/7 caring for someone that does not remember anything at all. Forgetting who they are and what a toilet even is.
@@maeevans4631 @maeevans4631 That's insane, you took care of her even though you were not even her relative and you were called selfish, probably by people who did considerably less for her themselves. I'm sure most dementia patients are people who, if still in their right minds, wouldn't want their children/grandchildren&their families to sacrifice their own health and happiness taking care of them.
The last one with the grandmother got me so mad. when my grandmother came to live with us from the other side of the country, we didn't know that she had dementia. Every single day we had to stop her from leaving the house. She kept thinking she had to go back to Maine or central america. She had no idea who I was most days, forgot who my mom was half the days, or thought it was 1954 and we were her siblings. We had to hide all the scissors, knives, matches and lock our bedroom doors at night so that she wouldn't attack us in case she woke up not knowing who we were. Every day one of us had to go on a walk with her because it was impossible to stop her from leaving. One time she decided she took me on a 3-hour walk into the desert she had never been in before, no water, not getting tired, insisting she knew where she was. We let her walk alone a few times but the cops brought her back. After 3 times in a week, one of which she tried to get into someone's house thinking it was hers, they warned us that WE could be charged with ELDERLY NEGLECT if we left her alone. She tried to leave with them and they had to physically take her into the house so they could close the door and run off before she could 'catch the taxi'. It was a living hell. Every waking moment being a literal guard to a door or worrying about her becoming violent. Finally after 3 months we realised we had to put her in a home. We were not equipped medically or professionally to deal with her. Now, she keeps up the same daily routine at the nursing home, constantly walking around and trying to leave with a doll she thinks is a real baby. Only now, she has 20 nurses and security guards to stop her.
Taking care of an elderly person is a 24/7 job. Whether they have mentaldisabilities, medication they have to take, or even just need help getting around. The fat that he expected her to do it all and it's 'just give her meds and that's it' shows he knows nothing about the pressure and responsibility of taking on a live in grandparent. This is something all couples need to talk about before marriage. If my partner ever sprung this on me and acted this disrespectful, I would leave him with the kids and grandmother as soon as she moved in and stay at a hotel. The whole 'you have to do it because you're a woman, you need to nurture' bullshit would have me singing divorce papers immediately!!! I'm so proud of her standing her ground and respecting herself enough to say no!! 🙌🏽
A living hell. My dad invited folks into the house. Had hallucinations. Tried to drive. Would go to the bank with strangers and give them money. Would scream when he needed something. Always escape the house and would be brought back by the police, couldn't bathe himself, etc, etc, etc. Taking care of an elder in a full-time hella crazy job.
My ex-wife's mom was supposed to stay with us for a few months until she bought a condo. She stayed with us for 4 years and is one of the reasons I got divorced. She always talked bad about me and my ex started to believe her.
I've gone to ALL pregnancy check ups, taken months off for both of our newborns and stayed up all night to tend to our daughters so my ex could rest and wouldn't be overwhelmed. I went to all of our kids meetings and doc apps. Took her on random dates, bought her flowers constantly, always showed affection, constantly told her i loved her, called in sick from work just to have 3 day weekends, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, maintained our cars and the home while working full time.
Her mother still bad mouthed me, which made my ex cheat. The reason? I apparently didn't make enough money. Now they both live in my house.
DO NOT let your parents or parent in laws live with you.
Dude needs to take care of his OWN grandmama.......Bout took me out when she called her that 😂😂😂
This situation with the woman in bed and the man yelling at her about taking care of his grandma hits home. I'm disabled and my husband works, and I'm expected to stay home and take care of his mother. At first it was just to make her food and keep her company. It is turned into me going to doctor's appointments, having to remove her walker out of the car and helping her in and out of the vehicle, taking care of her diabetic feet, sometimes lifting her off of the toilet or out of her chair, bathing her, and other things that require a lot of strength. She's also gotten very demanding and often sends food back if it's not perfectly hot, or waits till I get my meal fixed, which is always last, and then tells me to do her tea, which takes three full minutes in the microwave, before I can sit down and eat myself. She started to nag me about dinner being cooked from scratch everyday, and it's starting to weigh on my mental health. Every evening my husband sits with his mom and watches TV until so late that I'm practically asleep before he comes into the room. I never get to spend time with him anymore. I am at my wits end with the both of them. I am making the choice finally to figure out another way to deal with this situation. I'm looking into home health care, even twice a week, so those things that require strength and back lifting can be done by carers and not by me. It's not that I mind doing it, it's that I don't want to be hurt further and the rest of my life be shit because of it.
I really hope you can find a good solution and that your husband understands that this is hard work that is affecting you and your health.
Best of luck
Apart from his work, does your husband do anything at home, or just comes back and relaxes while you have barely had any time to relax yourself?
Yes, please do whatever you have to do to protect your own body and your own health. If your husband or MIL object to outside help, tell the husband then he’ll have to do certain things because you cannot any longer. Also look into Meals on Wheels or other meal delivery services for your MIL’s meals. There is a lot of physical work, and you cannot be expected to do everything a trained healthcare worker does. Good luck.
That's a very good point. Care for an elder may start off with simple help and companionship but always gets more and more difficult and demanding. I'm glad you are looking into ways to alleviate your burden somewhat. Your husband seems totally oblivious to what you're going through, he needs a wake up call.
@@user-mw8oo1sl6thome health care can be a godsend. They also will sit with her so you can go to lunch with your girlfriends, drive recklessly, go to the dentist,… if they mention hospice. Don’t let that scare you. You qualify for different services and I’ve known people that have went on and off hospice for a decade.
With regards to the husband telling his wife that she must take care of HIS grandmother? My anger issues could NEVER! and when he said "because your the woman" I screamed my whole house down because the AUDACITY!
I absolutely sympathize with the "thank you" in response to "I love you" all too soon! 😂 I used this for years until my husband.. He also said it waaay too soon for me, but something was different with him, so I changed it to "I appreciate you," lol. This went on for months until I finally felt confident enough to say Ily for real. We dated a year and then married and had a son. Turns out he was the one, and 8 years later, we're still happily married. Best decision of my life ❤. Seriously tho, those early Ily's are usually a red flag.
I agree with you that ideally, putting our elderly relatives into homes shouldn’t be the default. However, caregiver burnout is suuuuuuper real, and a lot of folks wind up with health bad enough that family can’t do it anymore. It’s a balancing act, and society should focus more on making the homes GOOD vs making the family seem BAD.
I used to be a waitress & always talked with the female first & the most when having a couple in my section, out of respect. It actually helped my tips too. Going on dates now as a single woman, that first story would’ve absolutely had me walking out.
This is how it should be! Like if some waitress was blatantly flirting with my man in front of me- being petty i wouldve ordered full meal, appetizers, entree, soup, salad, drinks and desserts. And i would intentionally ask to make changes to each one, almost like a karen but not mean, opposite in fact, obnoxiously nice. And at the end of this very large, very complicated meal i wouldve left her a penny tip and tell the manager on the way out before posting the whole story on all my socials with her first name, name and location of the restaurant.
Maybe then theyll learn that when theyre working, they should be focusing on work. UNLESS you work at Hooters, this is the only exception to this.
Same here. It's just rude.
1) It's in poor taste to show one person in the party favor over the other
2) In a very practical sense, you don't know who is paying the tab. What if she is? You just screwed yourself lol
I mean, if the "relationship" starts with you messing with someone else's date and/or bf, it's going to repeat.. xd
Same, I used to do waitressing and I would always talk to the girls first ((the one's who were with their BF's or Husbands)) It's just being polite and I'm trying to show them that I don't mean any harm, I just wanna serve you guys, do my job well and go home :)
That girl probably dodge a bullet seeing how he so easily went for another girl and OP is just sad
The 1 Who wants to move his grandmother in after his wife said no, is going to find out the divorce, alimony, and child support payments are more expensive than a nursing home.
He's the kind of dude that's gonna end up alone in a nursing home with no one coming to visit him. It happens soooo often for these types of dudes. Tons of these men die completely alone in these homes because they use and abuse their families until the love is gone. He's gonna find out.
My mother developed dementia at an early age, we moved her in with my grandparents and we ( my sisters and extended family) would go 2 days a week each and help with her care, it didnt take long before it broke down, everyone was fixated on their own agenda. Everyone insisted we put her in a home. But when it came time to do it, i was the one who had to take her. Worst day of my life.
21:29 take care of my grandma because you’re the woman. Dude if she’s the “woman” technically you need to breadwin for her, the twins and the grandma. So. Show up if you’re that “man” then… like… Poor woman, he is so disrespectful 😵💫🫠
Similar to the first story: My grandmother was out with my grandfather. They had recently gotten married and were having dinner when another guest came by their table after eyeing them for a time. With my grandmother present, she took out a piece of paper, scribbled her number on it and slid it in his shirt pocket with a wink. My grandmother retrieved the paper, looked at her and tore it up while telling her the position was taken, no need for an application. To this day she talks about how the woman only came onto my granddad, because she had selected a very expensive and well-ironed shirt for him and was smelling money. My Grandma was was so disgruntled by this, she let him dress himself from then on.
Hmmm... I think I just found out why my fashionable mom never criticized the clothes my dad wore. He was a nerdy engineer who didn't care about fashion at all. It was typical to see him go to work wearing a pink and green plaid jacket, a paisley tie with a patterned shirt, and striped pants that match nothing. Mom sometimes joked that he looked like he was about to audition for Spike Jones' band and Dad would chuckle.
One day he came home from work and told her she may be right, as one of his coworkers that day said, "Hey, nice get-up! Do the other boys in the band wear that too?"😂
Maybe that was Mom's insurance that other women won't be ogling her husband!
@@LazyIRanchOr maybe she just loves and accepted him
@@reenakemp9132Probs a little of both, lol.
Omg the sheer AUDACITY of the last guy. Like at first I was on his side but then him basically telling her what she was going to do… man… I’m surprised she held her temper as well as she did . Love you Charlotte ❤
And you can tell that this is not the first time
Right! At first I was like.....yeah, spouses family is your family too.
.
.
.
But no, he doesn't just want grandma to crash at the house. He wants a working woman to be a full time caretaker for granny and he didn't even ask, he just straight up told. No way.
Same, at first I was on his side, but that changed quickly
Okay, that last story just SENT ME!
My great-grandmother (God rest her soul) got into a fight once with her husband threatening to divorce her. This was back in the like, 30s-40s so that was a serious thing. Big Mama told him "Fine, but you're taking your mother with you.' Big Mama had been the one taking care of the house, her husband, their child AND her elderly mother in law on TOP of working as a laundry woman.
Apparently her threat worked because she said 'He stayed put until the day he died.'
Agreed with Charlotte. My bf’s grandma had to go to a care facility for her dementia cause his family just couldn’t take care of her on their own anymore. They only asked for my help once and that was after I OFFERED to help if they ever needed it cause I knew his mom was going nuts trying to take care of grandma. He’s my family so they’re my family too and I’ll help take care of them. But the courtesy to ask and plan together is the real expectation you should have in a relationship.
The husband in the last story was not expecting his wife to say no. When he started stuttering and tried to go the, "You're the wife..." route, I thought she was going to throw hands.
Like I told my friend whose husband cheated on her, "If they'll cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you." She had stolen him away from his baby mama & thought getting married would lock him down. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Tale as old as time. Why do some ladies never learn that? 🙄
Miss Charlotte reminds us often that “bagging a cheater isn’t a flex!” Same same tho.
@@what_equals_42it happened to me so us guys can be kinda thick headed too.
Crystal Gayle had a song about that back in the 1970s, "Why Have You Left the One You Left Me For?"
🤣 My ex husband had an affair with a friends ex wife, left for her. She is so paranoid he'll cheat she tracks his phone and facetimes him everytime he's here for more than 5 minutes to pick up his kids. Meanwhile she's been divorced 4 times, refuses to post picutes of them together on her fb and refuses to change her relationship status from its complicated. I love that he thinks it's different with him, she's going to change for him and ect though. 🤣🤣🤣
I was trying to understand the side of that man telling not even kindly asking his wife that she should take care of his grandmother, but also simultaneously understanding the wife; so it was 50-50 but the moment he said, and I quote because you’re the woman and your supposed to take care of her” it was finished, he completely lost me….He was done. I was like you’re done; it’s over for you. I’m completely on the wife’s side. Wat rubbish!!!
Watching the vid about grandma staying brings up a very important point... People, when your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles whatever, you know the elderly people you care about in your family, still have their facilities... have the hard conversations with them of what they actually want vs the situation. For instance, when I was about 16 watching my aunt going through a lot of the end of life with diabetes, my grandmother had a very frank conversation with me that she wanted to be in her own home UNLESS she could not be taken care of by herself or easily by a loved one. She told me if her care ever got to a point where someone had to lift her, or feed her, (she had a list of things she thought were asking too much of a normal person not trained to do so)... then she wanted to go to a home where qualified people were paid to do the things she knew we could not. So, fast forward to when I was 23 and my dad and other Aunt were agonizing over the decision to put grandma in a home... She had dementia at this point, could hardly get around on her own, often forgot her own kids, forgot where she was, was afraid. There were constant fears of her getting out, getting lost, or something terrible happening... I told them what she told me and it made the choice for them easier because it was her wishes they did not know about. We all need to know if our loved ones are organ donors and how they feel about it, we need to know what level of care they consider time for the professionals, and we need to know when they would consider DNR. Basically, if we can be that human with our pets we need to be with our elderly too and let them tell us what they want before the time comes when others are questioning if they are in their right mind to say it.
I sympathise with the lady whose husband wants her to look after his grandmother.
This ls low ….. to film and post a personal conversation while she’s on her bed for goodness sake.
BTW: I wonder why granny’s OWN kids can’t look after her if it’s so easy.
As for the first story: I blame the boyfriend 100%. The server’s actions were degrading and shameless, but a million women can throw themselves at your date or SO, it’s up to him to shut it down.
right??!! when he said he was going to talk to his mom i was like, OH HELL NO SHE CAN GO LIVE WITH YOUR EFFING MOM
They’re both responsible for the first story
I had a waitress write her number on the tab when I was on a second date with my ex-fiancé. He immediately showed me and we laughed about the audacity and the waitress ducked into the kitchen and didn’t come back out. While we didn’t end up getting married, that date told me he was a good one.
That last one. The wife’s reaction in the beginning…that is the reaction of someone who is 100% done. I recognize that look. I’ve worn it myself (thankfully for me it was earlier on in a relationship). And the fact that he went into that room with his phone out recording already tells me he has no respect for his wife. In the beginning she tried to ignore him, and he kept going until she exploded and snapped back. I would have too. Man really went in there with his phone out like he thought he was right and was doing something. Jeez. Plus the way he was trying to demand things and telling her what they were going to do, and what he wanted, but not listening to anything she wanted or had to say. There was no actual conversation, functional communication, or compromise. If anything, it was the equivalent of a cornering act for him to get his way. This is the sign of a dying or dead relationship. I don’t like to judge based off one clip I see on the internet, but I’m putting in my two cents here. It’s time for her to either evaluate if she wants to continue in that relationship, and what that would entail (whether that’s couples therapy, continuing to live like this, or whatever other options there may be), or if it’s time to file for divorce. She deserves better than this.
And I do understand the conflict of parents staying with you. For a grandparent though, I feel like that if they have living children, which in this case it seems they do, that the responsibility should not be getting shunted to the grandkids. Unless the living children can not physically or mentally take care of them (as in they have their own health issues). And even then, it should be a functional, two way, conversation. Not a demand. A loved one coming to live and stay with you is a HUGE commitment timewise and an emotional, physical, and financial investment. Especially if you are a younger couple and have kids of your own, and are trying to grow a career and family. There is nothing wrong with many assisted living homes, which is what it sounds like this grandmother likely needs. Yes there are garbage ones, but that’s true for anything. My fiance and I (we’ve been together for five plus years) have already kind of made an agreement regarding when out parents get older, and all of the parents are aware of it, as in we’ve talked to all of them about it. And they were all very understanding of it and agreeable to it. We both are children of divorce. As a result, we have four sets of parents, who have all remarried, so eight parental figures in total. There is no way all of them could stay with us, and how would we even decide who would in that case. We are more than happy to help them all with assisted living homes, and/or in home nursing care, or if needed, a nursing home, but we don’t want anyone living with us. They are all more than welcome to visit and stay with us obviously, but living with us would be a different matter. Not to mention, where would we even house four full sets of parents (as in eight people as they’ve all remarried), especially when the parents from each respective divorce don’t get along or hate each other (they comingle across family fine, but not with their ex partners, which is understandable, as they got divorced for a reason). I’m all for supporting our parents when we get older, and so is my fiance. We’ve even gone as far as talking to our parents about situations that may occur based on what conditions run in the family, like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. We love them and we want to be prepared and have a plan for them later in life. Because that is a responsible, functional way to do it. Sorry for the long ramble.
Being a caregiver for an elderly relative is exhausting and extremely difficult. To dump that responsibility on your partner without discussing whether it is okay is tremendously thoughtless, self serving and stressful for the other person. Dude needs a freaking reality check.
Oh, that last one got me. The AUDACITY of that husband just coming in there to tell his wife his grandmother is staying there and that SHE had to take care of her. NO, that would not be happening. He's about to find himself without his wife and twins and only the grandmother.
Taking care of a family member is something that is very disruptive to everyone’s life. It’s something that needs to be discussed with everyone involved and agreed upon. It’s a huge, life changing commitment. What starts as a little time always increases to because as people age they require more care
Yeah, it's not like dealing with someone who is really sick, but is going to get better. With the elderly, they're not going to get better, they might have good days, but its always going to be a declining state. Him saying they could clear out the loft and have the grandmother stay there, shows how delulu and ignorant he is of elderly care. Loft implies stairs or a ladder, and usually no bathroom. Who is gonna lug grandma up and down??
@@jolenetheredhead9761Yes what a dolt. I'd be surprised if she hasn't filed for divorce yet.
Exactly, it's burdensome!!!
The last one triggers me so badly 😂 The absolute AUDACITY of him to tell her what she’s gonna do for HIS grandmother. If he had come in there asking and taking half of the responsibility, it might’ve turned out differently. I hope she divorced his ass.
You wanna know what amazingly sweet, crazy thing my now-husband did for me on our first? He made sure to reinforce how much he respected my desire to get to know him better, but not get into a relationship until I was in a better place mental health wise (I had just been diagnosed with depression and was starting treatment). To this day (we've been married 17 years) he pushes me to take care of my mental health!
When someone comes with something that seems like some grand gesture, right out of the gate, stop and think about what the gesture really says! Is it something genuine that shows who they really are, or is it something flashy to *distract* you from seeing who they really are?
The thing about the last clip is that it's clear from the onset that the "husband" (if we can truly call him that) uploaded this video to social media to be like "LoOk At HoW mY wIfe TrEatS mY fAmIlY". For me it's the fact that upon evaluation he took away that his wife owes him this service, I'm honestly very much interested in how much effort he puts into the marriage, home, childrearing, etc.
he probably one of those men that believes a woman should take care of all the house work and help pay her 50% of the bills while he just pays the other 50%.
@@twocathome399 Yeah definitely
I was blessed to be able to care for both of my elderly parents until they passed. I had experience as a CNA. I would never ever demand that of anyone, especially someone with no experience who already has a family. I wouldn't take it back but it was the hardest thing I've ever done.
I would also think, since he said his mom was still around, they could chip in and hire a CNA, depending on her needs.
We helped my mom take care of my granny everyday when I was a teenager. It hurt so much when we passed that my mom said we must get her an at home nurse if anything should happen. That said, she’s on the treadmill every night and eats well so it doesn’t have to happen! It is a blessing, but it’s also difficult ❤
@@WowJustWow37 I truly hope that your mom stays as active and healthy, in body and in mind, as long as possible.
@@CyclingM1867 me too! She’s much healthier than her siblings and we are following her lead. Much love! ❤️
@@WowJustWow37 oh, good!!
My mother made me promise not to take her in when she was older. Her mother got dementia and was eventually placed in care. When my mother was 88, she started getting forgetful and paranoid. But suddenly at 90 she got dementia. We couldn't believe how fast it developed. I found a great foster home for dementia patients. She was upset, but I reminded her about the times she made me promise not to take her in and she remembered. They take great care of her and she is safe. It was still awful.
I can honestly say I have NEVER twisted to any other Dobre video as I have this one. Going through a breakup (only been a couple of days), but every one of these videos hit home for that relationship.
This was very much needed.
This man has no idea how hard caring for an elder is as it gets more complicated. And why isn't this man's parent caring for the grandma. That's their mother. Just wow. And I say this as someone who currently goes to my mom's 4 days a week to care for her. It's hard work even when it's "simple".
I agree. My mother in law lives with us and while she doesn’t need constant care, she still needs help with a lot of things, cannot cook and needs to eat at regular hours for health reasons, has laundry, has medical and other appointments she cannot go to alone, etc. If an elderly family member needs to move in, it’s because they need help, ie it’s more work. I still think it was the right choice for us to take my MIL, but it’s defining not easy and it requires a lot of adjusting and taking the person’s needs into account.
I need an update on what happened with his grandma. I hope the wife stood her ground and won that fight.
In the full video, she told him, how about this, you go and get a house and move in with your grandma. There was also mention of a divorce If I remember correctly.
Second story: I agree that a guy that tries too hard too soon is a red flag, but I don't think saying guys need to be a little bit mean is accurate/helpful. Better to say that they need to be genuine and not try to go too big too soon. You know, be emotionally intelligent.
Also, "nice guys are usually covert narcissists" makes me think of Ted Mosby from how I Met Your Mother
I’m glad someone else said this. I felt it was a bit too much lol. There’s always extremes and you summarized how I feel as well perfectly
"I SAID NO!" Love her. Work!
How the husband in the end was making demands of his wife, monopolizing her time, was appalling. Most couples discuss this topic prior to marriage, however, because it is so common for our elders to move in with their kids, etc. It was great to see a woman stand up for herself. A home is a woman's sanctuary, and bringing in another can be asking for marital issues. I would leave! (With my boxes. 😂)
Agreed 100%. He thought the internet would side with him but got a cyber beatdown instead LOL.
@@jasonbodden8816 he lost the battle the moment he said "you're the woman" and moment she said "I have to take care of you, the twins, myself and also your grandma while working the job i already have?"
Woman's response should have been "Aww, Honey, I understand! Your Grandma is more than welcome! Me and the kids will be out by the end of the week!"
It’s her house and she is the one paying bills!😊
Way, way back in the day my then husband has a serious eye injury that required two surgeries. His mother was also in the hospital dying from cirrhosis of the liver. I was unemployed at the time. His family (TWO sets of twins and one single, not counting my husband) had a family meeting. They decided since I wasn’t working I would be taking care of their mother. Never mind my husband that was recovering and was going to be blind in that eye. Shock was not even near what I felt. Absolutely NOT! My husband agreed and we just walked out. Sadly the mom didn’t make it very long.
I was a little kid when my grandma started showing signs of Alzheimer's/Dementia. I was 8 I believe when she escaped our house to look for us grandkids. My mom and dad worked, grandma was home for 8 hours a day ALONE. The only reason we got a home nurse when I turned 12? It was when she fell and cracked her head open on the bathroom sink. Not her escape attempts, not because she fell in the road in the hot Arizona sun, nope. It took her head being split open. Elderly people are very hard to care for, even more so when you have to work and have other responsibilities.
Letting Granny move in is one thing. Telling wife that she has to wash granny's ass is a whole different thing 😅
💀
My elderly grandmother with dementia lives with me and my mum. I love her, but if we could afford to send her to assisted living where she can get professional help and around the clock medical care I would do so in a heartbeat. Taking care of her is literally a full time job, like raising a child but instead of watching them grow your watching them quickly mentally and physically decline. No one prepares you for how mentally, and financially traumatic it really is to be in a situation like this for everyone involved. (Also side note, they don't tell you this but it is very common for people with dementia to become mean and straight up emotionally and even physically abusive as they decline.) My experience.
With the grandma live-in situation, at first I was like, 'wow, she is being mean, not even considering someone from HIS family to come live with them". Until....Like everyone else haha, I heard him saying that SHE was gonna take care of her. Yiiikkkeess. haha.
I’m with you on the no nursing homes, I’ve moved quite a few elderly people into nursing homes and the amount of fucks most (not all - there are some really caring CNAs and RNs) of the staff doesn’t give. One time a lady soiled herself and fell out of her bed and I went to help her and since I didn’t know her and wasn’t there to see her I was yelled at, THEY LET HER LAY THERE SCREAMING FOR 3 HOURS!!! The entire time it took for me to move the other resident in.
I think people greatly underestimate how very difficult it is to take care of a sick declining elderly person. It is a full time thing that (no matter how good of a person you are) can fill you with stress depression and resentment. And then when they pass it breaks you cause you were the only person doing for them and it takes time to get your life back... Its not shameful to get help from professional caretakers. ❤ but you also can not force someone to be a caretaker.
Lol, my boyfriends mum is a retired geriatric nurse. She comes over to help with her grandson sometimes, but she refuses to change diaper 😂. She says she done it her whole life, she's just retired and wants to enjoy a diaper free retirement. 😂 I can't begrudge her that.
I believe family is important, but it's one thing if my husband's grandma moved in with us but was totally self-sufficient other than if she needed rides to appointments once in a while, but to just straight up being expected to do the work of an in home caretaker on top of being responsible for my own kids AND working, absolutely NOT!
My grandparents cared for my great-grandma for several years (she had dementia and had broken her hip, so she was bed-bound for the last years. They had help from a service for some things, but were still overwhelmed by it. Everyone would have been healthier and happier if they had just found her a good home instead.
It is hard to be a care taker at home. Especially depending on what may be ailing the person. My family essentially made me care taker of my grandma and aunt because I wasn't working at that time. Each came with their own challenges. My grandma had a stoma I had to help with and medication. I had to yell at my aunt to NOT smoke near her oxygen and she didn't take care of herself. Lots of diaper changes. It takes a toll. I know nursing homes aren't for everyone; especially financially. To just expect someone to agree to take in someone like that, just no.
I sympathize with the wife. My fiancee and I had my mom living with us for a year. She constantly caused a double standard in punishment with our kids, barely helped with cleaning (as agreed,) and this caused my fiancee and I to fight more. She's moved out now and we are much happier.
The grandma story. I'm glad she put her foot down. I know there is a stigma around nursing homes and assisted living but being the care taker of an adult when it's family really takes a toll. There are studies showing that sometimes the caretaker does before the person they are caring for because of the amount of stress.
True it is intensely hard
Caring for elderly relatives is so hard. Both my mom's parents had dementia, and caring for them aged her savagely. Her health declined, and she never recovered. She was constantly exhausted and dealing with their drama every single day for seven years. Her brother did NOTHING. He only visited once every three years or so. And then he had the audacity to SUE my mom to get a bigger cut of the inheritance.
My mom tried to take care of my grandpa with Lewy's dementia for a while and it really messed up their relationship. He had delutions, accused her for all kind of things etc. When he moved to a care home it was honestly best for both of them. Their relationship got so much better. It was clearly easier for my grandpa to accept help from the nurses and my mom could concentrate on taking him out for walks and doing other nice things with him, she visited him a lot so he was not just dumped out of sight.
My family took a family member in who was sick. He was not looking well, he shouldn't have gotten here how sick he was. But we got him back to good health and now he lives here. We are a household of 9, now we are a household of 10. It's insane how much work it is. I am the oldest "kid" of the bunch and I try to help out but I have my problems. Which is why I'm still at home at 22. But basically our family have become so entitled and throws mini tantrums, he's 72 year old man. It's just alot of work. I try to be kind and helpful but also the thought of someone in the room next to me, almost died. That's scary. Still have nightmares of him screaming in pain and of him dying while I'm asleep. It's just tough
Lol the server story reminds me of the times the gals serving us in restaurant fawn over my husband and barely acknowledge me. Every single time they bring the cheque he smiles at them and hands it to me to pay. I determine the tip, not him.
My father took in not only his mother, but my maternal grandmother ( in hospice care) and then after they both passed my aunty who was going through chemotherapy and lived 120 miles outta town.our family room was turned into a hospital room three times . And they were all wonderful my mother is a saint.
I like how she snuck in 'when I'm old, I'm gonna save enough so I can take care of myself', haha. Actually, the kids will take care of her since she's probably doing all the work to raise them.
She’s probably done taking care of other people & determined not to be a burden on her own children.
@@thischick8437 And that's exactly why HER kids will be there for her
That last one really pissed me off. My moms husband moved his mom into their house and taking care of her got dumped onto my mom. She was working freelance at the time so it wasn't a big deal to her, at the time. Shit starts out small but builds on up. Making her food, doing laundry, painting her to nails, helping her shower, helping her wipe her own butt. Its a lot to put on one person, and my mom had a mental break. Just put granny in a home
Thats so sad hope your moms is doing good now 🙏 ❤
@@donnathompson559 Shes doing better now thanks.
Moreover why the fuck is that shit HER responsibility? Her husband should be doing all that shit!
Hey Charlotte, just wanted to say thank you for making me smile even when I'm feeling under the weather! 💖💖💖
That last clip was initially longer (saw a couple years ago on FB) and he had previously forbade one of her family members staying over for a short period of time (i think it was like a week?) so she was verrrrry fed up
Wedding and marriage minister here. The "take care of grandma" story is something that needs to be discussed BEFORE marriage. Take a premarital counseling session. I'm sure my sessions are similar to others, and we bring up things like, "we can take care of our grandparents/parents as they age, financially and/or physically (move into the house)." You can decide that's a "no," but as a couple. If there are too many issues where you don't agree, DON'T GET MARRIED!
Even if the woman in the last story agreed to that beforehand it sounds like they both work and she does all the child care. You know someone that selfish wouldn’t help with the grandmother at all.
Note you said "WE can" but in this video the man is _basically_ saying "YOU can but I ain't gonna". Definitely not the same. Sometimes a person's true colors only come out _after_ marriage. That's why divorce rates are 50 % 🤷♀️
@@JadedKateSo true
I think the bigger question here for this couple is “Do you both understand what a true partnership is?” She does not work for him. He does not decide for both of them. A partnership means equality in the home, not some man telling his wife what she will and will not do for him or his family. He does not understand that marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
There are so many issues that come up only after marriage that it's practically impossible to discuss every single potential problem beforehand. In this case, too, the grandma needed care after they've been married for years. It was non-issue before, just like all other events that people don't think about because they don't exist yet.
Another thing is how the issue is presented during the discussion vs. in real life. Like you said, "we can take care" of elders vs. "you will take care of my grandmother from now on, period". The man obviously acts super entitled as a partner. She can't be forced to become a caretaker for an elderly sick person while the grandson can't be bothered.
The first girl is so crazy! The guy came in with a girl ON A DATE, and she still gave him her number. What if they have been dating for a long time, and a waiter flirts with your BF?!
It could have been a first date with no love connection.
Charlotte inspires me.. My parents said if i get 70K followers They'd buy me a professional camera for recording..begging u guys , literally
Begging...
He’s a cheater
He will cheat on her
AND she’s a home wrecker
The definition of zero fucks given 😂😂😂
@@jessicaconner1242 and she would deserve it %1000
To the woman who refuses the gma staying with her... WHEN A PERSON SAYS "ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS....."
... DONT DO IT!!! 😂😂😂
I love this warm lighting 💛💛 you look beautifully bronzed