Story 3: creating a blended family isn't about treating the kids the same: it's about giving what each child needs and I doubt what the step kids need is to be thrown in a room with a stranger with no preamble.
Yeah, they are already moving to a new state and the sister thinks the best way to help them "adapt" to this major change is to not upset HER schedule and keep things the same as they were before. It wouldn't hurt for her to actually be around her stepkids the first week to introduce them to their new family and help them settle in but she doesn't want things to change at all even with two new kids in the house... She is going to have a very big awakening when this in fact doesn't go "according to plan" for her.
Exactly. And the sister is springing the expectation last minute. No doubt she's told her soon to be husband they can get super cheap childcare from OP... without talking to OP! Crazy.
It is crazy that the sister is expecting OP to just jump in the deep end of the change, but *also* she has that expectation of the *kids*. That is super not cool.
How can Rslash say the OP from story 2 is a butthole because shes just as responsible for parenting her nephew as the kids mom, but then turn around in the last story and say its not the responsibility of other relatives to treat a child equally?
i think it's an interesting question. but, assuming we had all the details from the last story, the difference is that one story is about education/discipline, and the other is about the use of personal assets. The latter may lead to some dickish behaviour, but it is their assets.
@@ShadowReignhart Yes, also OP basically insinuated that MIL made the no pregnancy clause just to see Rea fail. Like, wait, so now it's her fault Rea got knocked up as a teen? What? lol
RSlash : “Not your kid, not your responsibility.” Also RSlash : “you are an a-hole for not being responsible and teaching your nephew to be better.” I understand practically every rule has an exception, but I feel this wasn’t one of them.
Especially when you look at other post and realize both beef steaks are the exact opposite of what he usually says. In general he support people standing up for their kids being treated unequally and also tells people that their parenting the other people's children is not their responsibility
@@Milk-ck1wv you say that like “it’s up to the parent to teach kids right from wrong.” Isn’t plastered all over the internet. Hell even RSlash has used exact line. There’s also the fact that modernly, unless you’re a teacher, parents typically don’t want you educating their kids. Usually with the excuse that it’s overstepping boundaries. More often than not, the advice is to tell the parents and let them handle it.
@dragonrider1549 the way rslash explains it is that she should have talked to the sister, his mom, to cull the behaviour. I follow the adage: "You see something, you say something." She saw red flag behaviour and said NOTHING to the people it would matter most to. It wasn't small little red flags, nonono. What he said could turn him into a future woman-hating incel. He's still young and capable of behavioural change. It'll only get harder the longer this goes on. It's a rabbit hole, not a small pit. He WILL get worse if something isn't done.
If I had to guess, in the first story the kid needs to be corrected because of his horrible opinion on females. Just like you would do something about a man sexually harrassing a woman on the street or someone hurting a dog on the street. Those are not scenarios where you can go "not my problem" if you want the world to not be as sucky. This is not a "dont eat too many sweets" kind of parenting, deal. It takes a village to raise a child? And the second scenario is not about "you're not helping me discipline this child that is close to you." as much as it is about "you're shoving kids on me cause you think I'm a free babysitter that can bend over backwards for your radical life changes. Specially taking in your own house, kids that you dont know." SPECIALLY when it sounds like the parents just wanna get hand them off. Which parent in their right mind would leave their kid with a total stranger to them from the get go? This woman is trying to make a single person RAISE A WHOLE VILLAGE. 6 KIDS?? That's insane. If the second story was about parenting the kids she already takes care of it would be a fair comparison, but this is apples to oranges tbh.
Neville: **Insults the science baskets** Bracken: **Gossips it to his friends at school, everyone know about it eventually** Neville: **Surprised Pikachu Face**
It's literally not even gossip. He's telling a true story, a confirmed to be true story, and not necessarily with malicious intent. Everyone tells their friends about their weekend, everyone tells their friends about their siblings. Gossip requires assumptions and the possibility of the story being false. This is not the case here.
There's not even a guarantee Bracken even started the gossip. Any one of their classmates or friend or family members of the classmates could have been at the event to overhead too.
OP in story 2 doesn’t get a butthole score. Neville’s mom sounds like the kind of woman who would say “Don’t you try to parent my child!” if anyone else tried to correct his crappy behavior.
That's what I said yet in my replies I got two morons saying that the aunt should have said something. Clearly they've never been chewed out for "parenting" their siblings kids.... it's not the extended families responsibility to lecture kids or the parents on their behavior it's seen as overbearing and not their business unless the child is a threat to everyone around them.
@@Darksin757ProductionI agree with you. I they could have said something but it does sound like the sister get butt hurt if someone else call her out on her child rearing skill is being questioned.
Rea wasn't her grandchild. How does she owe anything to a child that has no relation to her? She didn't owe Rea diddly. Also Elise put in the time, the work, the study of the business and dedication to the project as well if any customers. Why shouldn't that be rewarded more? Also how long have these two been married? If they're a step family (It sounds that way) and haven't been around each other that long then that gives more reasons to the MIL not leaving anything to Rea.
@@rylashadow18she should have been straightforward instead of pretending and just said she left everything to the kid she wanted to. The way it's set up gives an illusion of the option that the other one could've gotten something when one kid had a hysterectomy so was not at risk to lose anything.
Story 3: Getting to know the kids first IS the right path. Suddenly tossing two kids into an already hectic workload will cause a load of headaches, and OP needs to plan for it first.
Plus the kids may feel uncomfortable spending time with OP too. Personally I think OP should stop babysitting sister’s kids all together because she will try to toss her step kids in the mix. And one person tending to six kids is too much especially with one still a baby
The sister just wants to pretend to have the perfectly blended family. She doesn't want to wait or have to put any real effort into it. Look forward to reading about her in r/entitledparents.
I would agree under the condition that the bullying stopped after Neville starts apologizing and recognizing his mistake, and given that these are middle schoolers we’re talking about, I have my doubts that this will happen. I am 100% with rSlash here in that all the adults are at fault for saying nothing at the time.
@@nathankennedy3290nah, they arent. they mocked a kid who was hella misogynistic. neville deserves it since the adults in his life never corrected his shitty ass behavior
You should really read the update for the guy who sold his house! Turns out the wife didn't want him to sell the house because she was blackmailing the gardener into sleeping with her! That's why she was upset! She later has the gardener meet her at the apartment, which btw requires all guests to be buzzed in and op gets a notification on who visits. He finds the gardener buzzed in, gets sneaky and visits and catches them in the act!
Second story: If the mom's reaction was anything to go by from her son saying "Hey my brother is being a bad person" then I doubt she would've let her sister parent her child without being rude. Last story: So morality over legality, but only if the person being treated in an immoral way is a spouse? Rea probably didn't spend time with gma because gma was either cold at best or down right abusive because "blood is the only thing that matters when dealing with children". Only thing OP is an ah for is not cutting off gma when he saw the favoritism happening.
Story 2: I disagree on Op getting a butthole score. Given how her sister reacted to this whole situation, if Op HAD said something i can almost 1000% guarantee that the sister would have told Op “not to parent HER children”. I don’t think Op did anything wrong tbh, but her sister is raising a spoiled brat, glad her older son is a decent kid.
I was OP that said something to her sister concerning my niece. Wanna know what I was told? Mind your business. Technically, I was told "Mind your own fucking business. If I wanted your input, I'd have asked." She was 13 posting selfies in her bra and panties, video chatting on Instagram live with creeps not showing anything more than a black screen, their voice giving away they shouldn't be in any proximity to minors, etc. As a follower, I was seeing this and felt concerned enough to say something and was made out to be the bad guy. Our dad tried to flip out on me and everything until I pulled up the screenshots I took of his only granddaughter. My dad hates all social media as it is but he actually agreed with me after seeing the pictures. It sucks because it's simply a no win situation.
When OP mentioned a prenup in the first story, I assumed he wasn't the butthole, because they were getting a divorce. But selling something as big as a house without even telling your partner is seriously weird.
The amount of dishonesty there. A house doesn’t sell in a day, in a week, rarely even in a month without inspection, meetings, lawyers… That’s A LOT to keep quiet about.
I think it would still have been okay if it had been the apartment, the one they didn't live in. But selling the house with nostalgia and other things is definitely a dick move
Last story. I don't think OP deserves a butthole score at all. If anyone did it was the other parent for not advocating for the other daughter enough. Even now they're not displaying any sort of advocacy. Yes, the grandmother doesn't have to give the other girl any money. But that doesn't protect them from moral judgment. So it's really unfair of you to cast judgment on OP. Especially since you don't think you have enough evidence for the grandmothers actions. So without that OP cannot be judged as well.
But he does have enough evidence for giving op an ahole score. Op omitted some relevant information from the story regarding Rhea. Ops wife took the right stance by not getting involved in a matter that doesn’t concern her. Basically op is trying to shame his daughter who received the trust. She doesn’t have to share a dime with her sister and I’m betting that this daughter has her own reasons for not wanting to share. Op is the type to leave out pertinent information in order to gain sympathy. The trust was created 10 years ago when both sisters weren’t even teenagers at the time. The trust was also very fair regarding the age of distribution along with the clauses for disqualification.
For the Neville story: while his comments were bad I am sad because bullying is more likely to solidify his beliefs. If the adults had talked to him and worked with him he could have gotten better. But now I feel like he is probably on track to become a sexist doosh because of enablers
I really thought after the first story Rslash was understanding legality doesn't equate to morality, but then the last story happened and that went away. I honestly think the grandma here was a butthole, regardless of the legality of her choice. I'm not saying 50/50 split, but just nothing to one sibling is so hurtful.
I thought so too because I think it would’ve been fine if she’s just like my money goes to this grand daughter to get her business up and running, but making it so shady to make it appear 50/50 but in reality not be is pretty awful
@@terrencebell9979 I think it’s more saying whether she is an asshole in the given situation which I think she is. The child is not entitled to the money but that doesn’t mean the Grandma should make it seem 50/50 but then use underhanded clauses to give the money to one grandchild. Just give the money outright to the grandchild rather then pretend to be oh so giving.
@@terrencebell9979giving a false situation is a butthole thing to do. She should've said bio grandkid or x grandkid only. The illusion of choice causes drama and was in her mind a way to say she wasn't favoring, but the one she wanted had a hysterectomy and was never going to have a kid.
Second story, I can see why Rslash said OP gets a score. That aside, Neville needs to be taught a big lesson and soon. Either his parents or aunt/uncle do so or he's going to keep getting bullied and not know why.
@@dragonriderabens9761while thats true, op shouldve said something to neville when he said misogynistic stuff and then go to their sister about it instead of ignoring it and then talking to their husband about it well after the fact. just keeping quiet around relatives who hold prejudices is enabling the behavior.
@@epickody3924 Or she has tried to "parent" her sister's kids before and was just told to "Fuck off, they're my kids, not yours" and now doesn't even bother to try because they know the results.
Last story. Sounds more like the grandmother never tried to establish a relationship with Rea, bc she was adopted and therefore didn't consider her adopted. My sister had a special relationship with our grandparents, bc as the oldest grandkid, they watched her while our parents worked. But when other kids came into the picture we still had relationships with our grandparents and I have very fond memories growing up visiting them. And even as our family expanded with cousins marrying and having stepkids, we wholly included them into the family. Even today where one kid isn't related, that cousin split with his ex, but we still included her, especially bc she has two half siblings that are family. That makes that kid family.
Didn’t sound like she was adopted. Probably just the fathers daughter biologically. Also the fact that he left that out of the story makes me think that he leaves more out. Like she could’ve never spent any time with her because she found The grandmother boring. Well the daughter that got the inheritance did not. Hence the showing interest in what she did. You don’t have to bond with family members. You just can’t get mad when family members do bond in your left out.
@@IlovepointlessstorysOP says she was, and that, "adopted children are just as real as biological children." It's a clarification to the story made at about 14:38.
The way OP worded it in the edit Elise isn’t OPs biological child but she is wife’s bio child. And we don’t know which daughter is actually related to grandmother. OP said they’re both her only grandchildren but then in the edit said that blood relation isn’t relative to him.
@@mariposa9506 if you look at the screen at the time I said, he literally uses the word adopted. I quoted him. He says, "adopted children are just as real as biological children." So maybe his wife adopted the daughter and she was his biologically. The point he's making is there should be no distinction made between the two since one was adopted and they should be equal because of that. One being adopted shouldn't make her less of a grandchild to the deceased woman.
Story 5 - Disagree here, rSlash. The reason OP is upset is because he can SEE the continuous, targeted, petty bullying of his child by someone else. He sees it, and wants to just TRY to do something to correct it. Is the MiL in her rights to do what she did with the will? Yes. Is what she did morally reprehensible and a targeted decision to screw someone over? Also yes. It has nothing to do with which side of the family the money comes from, because OP doesn't benefit. His CHILDREN do. You so often talk about how "now that you're a father", you understand the protective instincs of a parent, and the desire to do right by their children. Well, here's a father who wants to do right by his child, but some spiteful arse is spitting in their faces one last time. Wouldn't you be on your kid's side, if your wife's parents went out of their way to exclude him in almost every way they could? There have been enough AITA stories on this channel for all of us to know it's possible to be legally right, but morally wrong. This is one such case. 3/5 for the MiL for being a spiteful, petty bitch.
yeah hes really weird and inconsistent about the whole "legally right morally wrong" thing. sometimes hes like "well thats not very nice" and sometimes "youre allowed to do whatever you want no matter what"
@@rraaiinEspecially weird considering he DID do the whole "legally right morally wrong" thing in the first story, but then flipped the script in the last one.
I think it’s because Rslash just thinks adopted children shouldn’t get the same love or opportunities as biological children from their adopted families. I can very clearly tell by how he tells the story @@rraaiin
This inheritance is not OP's money, he has no right to say what should happen. Here OP had 2 paths if he wanted to see it being split equally, either speak with the other kid to give up half of her money or cough up the money to the other child so they get equal treatment. If his children do not want to split the money then he is the butthole for the reason that he raised his children that way, but trying to force his children is also a butthole move. So the only option that remains is to cough up the money now or when he is dead.
I feel very rarely does rslash base the scores on the morality side and bases them solely off the legality of it. Occasionally he deters from that like he did in the beginning of this episode, but from what I've seem its very rare. Its the biggest pet peeve of mine about his opinions.
First inheritance story: If his sister wanted to live in a better house, they can try to find a house with enough rooms and bathrooms for everyone. Like a 4 bedroom 2 bath, because I think mansions costs more than $500k. With the money left over, she can set aside enough for her kids for college and still have enough for herself and hubby
depends where, because the house you described is 1.5 million in my area. also not sure what OP's definitino of "mcmansion" is. in any case, the sister is the butthole.
@@skorpiongod I agree with your description of a Mcmansion, and would like to add that it's often a house far to large for the tiny postage stamp sized section it's on, but where I live if you can find a house for $400,000 then it's going to be a small and rough, in need of repair house which is over 80 years oldl.
@It-is-me...Melsie yeah my sister got a 3k squarefoot house, double the size of our parent's home but for the same price, around 500k. The difference is she's out in the boonies and my parents are 15 minutes from town. Its all about location
@@mrlughMcMansions are just really cheaply and I mean cheaply built gaudy "mansions" for people who want to flaunt their new wealth. Mostly found in low-middle income suburbs as the only multi story house among the single story ranch style homes.
In story 1, if they are wealthy enough they might frankly have an alien normal from us. If they own a lot of property he might not have viewed any one of them as important unlike his wife and this could be a case of neither communicating how they value it because they both made an assumption they attributed the same value to property. Him overly explaining it might be his attempt at admitting his social status has him view the world differently, and the source of why he messed up.
Story 2: That rating's too high for Aunt OP. Maybe .5 at worst, but imo, 0/5. You have to remember: She's not the parent of her nephew and, as we should remember, some parents out there don't take kindly to other people trying to parent their kids, family members included. It's not her responsibility. Plus, given how the sister responded to OP's advice, OP likely would've been told off for trying.
The only thing OP in the last story can do is to follow the MIL's clause, give all money to Elise and hope she's a better person than the people who raised her.
I have a feeling that the MIL didn't accept the adopted kid as a "real" grandchild. Hence the favoritism. And she could as well have left it all to Elise since Rea already had her kid and fell out of the will. OP is wrong but the MIL wasn't nice.
Story 2: Bracken was also the only one to call out his brother's behavior at the time it happened. Something his aunt could have done, and his mom/dad definitely SHOULD have done.
Story 2: why didn't anyone say something if everyone disagreed, he's not going to stop if no one tells him he's wrong? Also you can blame the other brother if you want but let's be real if he was that cool saying these statements out loud in public in front of his mother and Aunt, then he was probably going to say something sexiest to his classmates at some point anyway, besides someone could have just as easily heard him at the raffle and told the school.
the aunt shouldn't have to parent someone elses kid. She doesnt deserve any butthole score because god forbid you parent someone elses kid especially someone like nevilles mother all you'll get is yelled at.
She should have spoken up at the game. That entitled buildup needs to be absolutely demolished while the consequences are "embarrassed by aunt at a school function" and not punitive measures from an institution like "loosing a scholarship" or criminal consequences cause this kid falls down some Andrew Tate rabbit hole.
@@alexanderhenby1362 its hard to know. Its not the aunts responsibility to call out that behavior, its the parents, plain and simple, and from the sounds of the mom, she likely would not have reacted well to someone else parenting her kid, so that couldve been why the aunt said nothing. If the parent wasnt there at all, id agree the aunt probably shouldve stepped in, but when the parent is around, the parent needs to be the parent.
Rslash even said that the aunt could have spoken to the parents about the behavior. There is a big difference between parenting someone else’s kid and bringing up concern about behavior with the parents. So yes the aunt deserves a AH score
This is complicated, I have brothers/sisters in law that are more than willing to correct any off the kids bad behavior, but don't you dare correct their child. So I can understand why OP didn't say anything. I wouldn't give OP any score...
12:30 It's amazing how people will often treat adopted kids differently. I was adopted and, although my mother treated me just as you would expect a son to be treated, my extended family always treated me differently because I wasn't a "real" member of the family.
The more comments I read like this the angrier I am at rslash. What if his daughter decides to adopt 30 years from now? Will he treat the adopted grandchild as lesser due to the lack of blood relationship? Honestly rslash, you deserve a butthole score for that poisonous mindset. I'm not sure if I can watch his videos anymore. What sort of person thinks this is okay?
My issue is when OP discusses in the edit that Elise isn’t his bio child but is the child of his wife. Is Rhea his biologically? And is the grandmother the maternal grandmother or Elise’s paternal grandmother?
As someone who was not treated equality by the rest of the family that is a disgusting thing to say about they are entitled to treat your children equally.
I agree favoritism is emotional torture. I also had to deal with favoritism from my family. Just because the child isn't her biological grandchild doesn't mean she *isn't* her grandchild, and just because she likes Elise more doesn't make it okay to bully Rea. Legally they may not be able to do anything about the MIL leaving all the money to Elise but morally it's fucked up and if I were OP I wouldn't have let my children have a relationship with that woman.
I usually don't comment, but I am from a blended family. I have half siblings, step nieces and nephews, and even adopted cousins. We do NOT treat each other less than blood... we are all equal regardless. I am so tired of hearing about how people value blood family over non-blood family because I will be honest my blood family has done worse to me than non-blood. People who do treat family (blood or not different) will always be the problem in my eyes.
Last story: wtf? Why does one daughter have to suffer at the hands of grandma in law when the other benefits / has a free ride all her life? Rslash holy cow that take is hot garbage.
And literally any other time a kid is being excluded by family members and the parents stands up for it he says that that is an honorable move I guess it doesn't count when the discrimination a family member is dead smh
Story 3: wouldn't you want your kids to get to know who's watching them before leaving them with that person for long periods of time? Flights from Lima hearing you're going to be watching them during the honeymoon, I think it's more than fair that you get time to know them before babysitting two new kids for a long. Of time.
This reminds me of the story where a guy was going on a trip to the beach and his siblings asked him to take their kids but he first wanted to spend a weekend with the kids to see how they behave. He wanted to leave one behind because the kid didn't listen (he served cereal and the kid demanded waffles because his mom made waffles on the weekend) and could run off, which is obviously dangerous and a good reason to not agree to take him with.
People, the problem in Story 1 isn't the fact he sold his house. The problem is he didn't communicate with his wife. If you're in relationship, generally you actually TALK to the other person about major plans.
I can't imagine not telling my wife about selling a house, even if I considered it mine and didn't need he permission. I was selling some old tires from off of my car on the local buy and sell. I let my wife know in case someone came by and I wasn't home. What would have happened if the new buyers showed up asking to look at something before OP told his wife. I think OP needs to take some of his new money and invest it in marriage counseling.
@@JimLambierbut in the process of buying the new house she never mentioned to him about using the house or apartment for work. Do you not think that might have also been a conversation to have?
Story 3: I'm not sure about where OP lives but in my home state if an at home childcare has 6 or more kids they have to have a license whether the kids are relatives or not. Because the sister is paying her its a business. Also if OPs sister and new BIL has more kids and expects her to take on those kids too OP would have to get someone to help her watch the children because most states want you to have a 6 kids to 1 adult ratio max.
For the last story, there are two very important questions that need to be asked. 1.) How old is Elise's mother? If she's not 43+, I can see another reason Elise's grandmother put that clause in. Heck, it'd even apply if she was. 2.) Is Rea's baby daddy still in the picture? If he is, then the grandmother may have actually been solely favoring Elise with that clause.
I think the biggest question (grandma's an asshole either way) is did anyone even _tell_ her about the will? And if they did, _what_ did they tell her? Because if the child is 2, they might have said you loose if you have a child before you're an adult... and like any sane individual, she assumed 'adult' meant 18. Although in that scenario, I would have to question why she didn't confirm with her grandma, or read the will herself. Though, all signs point to this whole thing popping up outta nowhere. It might have even been written _after_ she gave birth, we just don't have enough information.
Why didn't the last family cut out the toxic MIL if they were sooooo worried about the favoritism? The parents are the biggest AH for not cutting the toxic grandma off sooner and for waiting till she dies to try and address something that should have been addressed a long time ago.
@@AdorableFloof1999 Moronic take, elise clearly wanted to have relationship with her grandmother and i dont understand how you dont see its a clear butthole move to prevent your kid from having relationship with her grandmother becuase your ego was hurt.
6:22 that's the thing tho she isn't the parent but their aunt and growing up with 3 overbearing aunts I can tell you one thing for sure aunts and uncles should parent their own kids not others so no OP is NTA
Holy hell, in what universe is it the responsibility of the uncle and the aunt to parent their nefew if the parents are right there ? I would never even think about doing anything remotely close to that. This feels so disrespectful in so many ways. If my sister and her husband are looking away, I'll look over my nieces, but if they're here, I shut up and stand aside. Giving someone an AH score for doing that is insane to me.
First story: sign me up for rich people problems!!! Should the husband have talked to his wife first? Oh undoubtedly no question about that. But they're moving into a new home and having an apartment in the same city downtown. Most people can't even afford a house. And if you had a house and we're moving to another one, you would have to sell your previous house because you couldn't afford both payments. So honestly, it kind of should just be assumed that You get a new house. You might have to sell your old house
Last story: OP can weight his own Will to give more money to his adopted daughter than Elise, to rectify all the favouritism and financial advantages she’s received throughout her life, putting things right.
As someone with 12 nieces and nephews, idk that I would correct Neville. I would definitely tell my siblings/his parents, but most of my siblings have made it clear they don’t want other people “parenting” their kids. It really depends on what the family dynamic is.
Last story: I get your point about people being allowed to give their inheritance as they choose, but I don't think OP deserves a butthole score. He's rightfully angry at how the grandmother treated Rea. It's not like he's trying to force Elise to give Rea the money, he just thinks it's the right thing to do, and he's allowed that opinion.
*First OP:* Sure, the house was in OP's name, but he at least could've given his wife a heads up. He made the decisions for her without giving her a chance to share her input. OP is TA. *Second OP:* I thought Bracken was the one getting bullied because of his name. *It's not just me, apparently, lol* Anywho, Neville learned a hard lesson about FAFO. It's not to say that he should've been bullied/harassed for what he said, but actions do have consequences, especially regarding middle schoolers. OP is NTA. I'm sensing that Neville is the golden child, and Bracken the scapegoat. I mean, if she named her kid "Bracken", she must not like him. *Third OP:* I think OP's request was fair. She wanted to get to know the kids she would've been looking after. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* Just like OP's sister can spend her inheritance as she pleases, OP can do likewise with his. If OP doesn't want to spend his inheritance on his nieces and nephews, then that's his choice. Let his h0m0phobic relatives pay for them. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP UPDATE:* I'm glad things worked out between OP and his sister. *Fifth OP:* It sucks that OP's MIL favored Elise over Rea, blood or not, but her last wishes are final, and Elise is not obligated to split her inheritance with anyone. OP is TA. He should focus on giving Rea the love she deserves.
Last wishes aren't final, wills can be contested all the time, normally cause people are stupid, don't make them with an attorney and just get some thrown together slock notarized. To disenherit someone you normally have to NAME THEM. Hoops to jump through are almost never held up. Noone can make someone change their name, get a tattoo or decide what they do with their womb to get an inheritance. The law sees step grand children as grandchildren if assets are split to grand kids. If the grand kid is an adult, she has every right to contest that will.
'Made decisions for her.' What decision? She has nothing to do with it. It's not her house, it's not her money, and a solution was already in place. SHE made the decision to keep things separate. HE did nothing but abide by that decision
The whole time listening to the story I was thinking of one of my childhood dogs, Bracken (who’s best friend was my other childhood dog, Willow)… great name for a dog, not something I’d suggest for a human.
Celebrating the morning after my daughter was born with a little bit of Rslash. My partner has even started asking me "any interesting Rslash stories today?" Lol
Last story: This trust is small enough that the parents (who will soon be empty nesters) could give the other daughter $10k each year for three years, and they'd be financially equal. Now, the normal story of this kind is the elderly relative only has one relative who cares for them in their old age, and the rest of the family gets the shocked Pikachu face when the elderly relative leaves everything to the good son. Now, children/young adults like in this story can do only so much. I suspect there is some combination of Grandma playing favorites and the kids having different engagement with Grandma.
If you can feel that someone in your family, likes your sibling better than you, and deliberately treats them better, how likely are you to want to engage with that person in the future? Rea has limited agency in her youth, which is where it falls upon the grandmother to engage first. Rea can't really come to visit as a 10 year old, after all. The grandmother, however, can visit them and spend time with the entire family, and if when she's there she doesn't make an attempt to bond with Rea, well why would Rea want to spend time with someone who shunned her? That story doesn't feel like one of those "Grandparent only gave to those who cared about them" stories, but rather one about a bigoted and petty old woman, who wanted to spite a child she disliked.
Last Story: The Late MIL is the COMPLETE AH in that story. She’s a manipulative wench because of how she structured her will. She clearly favored one grandchild over the other and when it came time to divide the assets, she has a clause in her will that MYSTERIOUSLY denies Rea any cut. She made it look like she was the ‘fair grandmother’ while also denying Rea anything because it was ‘her fault’ for having a kid before 21. A kid MIL already knew existed. And I’m 100% certain she never disclosed this clause to anyone, and probably added it last minute to make sure Rea got nothing. Screw her.
I mean for the last story I don’t think it’s right to do that to your step-granddaughter though, she never even gave her the chance to bond and even though it’s her right to choose who she bonds with you know that has to be painful as a child to have that rejection.
Story 1: People who say it's his property are missing the point, it's not that he has to ask for permission, but that he has to tell his wife what he's doing when it comes to big activities, such as buying or selling property. Why wouldn't he tell her? Is he actually hiding something or is he being apathetic about communication in their relationship?
@heobaby2450 as she said, she still needed residence in the city. Letting her know that he was aiming to sell the house allows her to adjust her plans and/or make new ones, rather than just springing it on her. It's called being considerate.
@@mariposa9506 and he did she ain't homeless and it's still not her home They literally bought a house near the beach and she can stay at the apartment
Story 3: those kids must be HORRIBLE!! She knows if the sister meets them first she’ll say no to taking care of them that’s why she’s trying to trick her.
I really think that, based on the story alone, the grandma in the last story deserves a buthole score too. It genuinely sounds like she favored the biological grandchild.
@@vorpalhit5952it doesn't matter if it is on his name, when people also lives there and they just end up knowing "oh it is already sold", they will be flabbergasted normally. An fyi during the selling process is a must. Especially on spouses, prenup or not, selling a house is a big decision on marriage.
*3rd Story:* OP is more patient than I because I would've flatly said no to looking after _six children_ alone. And something tells me that the FBIL's kids might be little hellspawns because if they weren't, the sister wouldn't have a problem introducing OP to the new kids. I've heard enough Entitled Parents/Children stories to know that is a very likely scenario.
Story 1: OP if you have to repeatedly mentioned how you own the property in your argument it's a sign you know you're in the wrong. It's not about who owns it this is the kind of big decision you talk about with your SO. I even get the logic behind selling the house but this is something you'd give a heads up to, that's why she's upset you made a big decision without even letting her know.
yeah, a landlord cannot just sell a house without warning, because tennants have actual rights. I don't know that a dependant person has the same rights, but it would make sense they have MORE rights, considering they are potentially unable to move.
Yeah, on a very cold and technical level op is definitely in the right but... that's just not how marriage works, that's not how loving partnerships last, it's not how healthy families treat each other. Prenups and split assets doesn't change what showing basic respect to your spouse looks like and yes, discussing big decisions like selling houses is basic respect. His wife is right, he's not treating her like a spouse, he's treating her like some woman that hangs around that he can sometimes have sex with.
@@RiveroftheWither maybe not, at least he might have to give his wife a certain time to move out. I think it also depends on if it's her residence or if she just visits a lot. If she's only visiting then yeah, she has absolutely no recourse legally. But, I wouldn't want to be married to someone like that.
@@RiveroftheWitheri understand what you’re saying but in the process of them deciding to get a new house she never brought up the fact about needing a resident in the city for her job I think that should have been something that was discussed also. I would assume if that was brought up before the move then maybe he wouldn’t have sold or would have told her he was selling.
@@Charles-qw5ug That's irrelevant, he should have discussed it with her regardless. You don't make big life choices without discussing with your partner, period. That's part of what it means to share a life with someone.
That story with the sister demanding OP give some of OP's inheritance to sister's kids is a particular type of parent that drives me nuts. It's like if OP were to go to the restaurant with his sister and OP orders the pasta with the included side salad and a lemonade. But OP's sister orders an appetizer (that she doesn't share), the surf and turf with the included fries plus a side salad, wine with each of these courses, a dessert (that she also doesn't share) and a fancy coffee drink to go with it. And, when the bill comes sister wishes to split the bill 50:50 and cries foul when OP disagrees. It's like lady you CHOSE to incur these costs. If you don't wish to pay them in the second place then don't incur them in the first place.
People are saying in story 2, OP shouldn't have a butthole score because she's the aunt, not the parent. While I do agree that she shouldn't have to correct Neville's behavior, I think she should've said something to her sister when it happened. If I had a nephew who was saying very sexist things like Neville, I'd at least bring it up with sister, instead of just letting it happen. OP shouldn't HAVE to parent, yes, but she could've at least brought it up.
Why are we in charge of other people kids. Im not parenting your bad child. Idk why RSlash is so set on blaming people in these stories recently. Op in story 2 in NTA same with a story from the other day where OP didnt want to move their picnic for an entitled couple to propose.
Aye it’s a bit weird, the parents are responsible for parenting their own children, I can guarantee if the aunt tried to parent her nephew she’d have been screamed at by her sister with “he’d not your child to parent” So I dunno why rSlash is blaming the aunt for not parenting someone else’s child, it’s incredibly strange
I mean would not put a butthol score on it like rslash. However, you should call out bad/malicious behavior when you see it. I would rather it get called out then to be a bystander. Since that's just allowing it to happen again in public at least.
I completely disagree with your verdict on the bracken story. The aunt most likely kept quiet because it's not her place to discipline her nephew. I'm gonna tell a story to explain myself. I told off my nephew for calling his mom (my sister) a dumb wh***, and my sister just yelled at me how dare I discipline her son, she's his mother and she's the only one who is allowed to do it, yadda yadda. Ever since that moment I have limited myself to being the uncle. No rule setting, no discipline, and if he acts out in my house I get my sister and tell them it's time to go because she's unwilling to do anything about it.
So you’re fine with your sister enabling a spoiled brat then? Surely if they’re in your house, you have rules he needs to abide by? Why do you invite them over if he won’t follow your rules?
@@Tustin2121 what am I supposed to do? She pushed him out she gets to decide how shitty of a person she wants him to be. If I go against her wishes I can kiss seeing them goodbye so all I can do is have him behave in my house if he wants to spend time with me. What he does in my absence is beyond my control
Wow, RSlash serious missed the mark on that last story. "Mind your own business" about the mistreatment of your own kid is certainly a take, but I would not call it a good one.
Sorry rslash but at the last story the grandmother deserves a 4,5/5 butthile score for purposely doing all this drama. She is or rather was a shitload of grandmother.
@@kobet7341but she pretended and caused drama when she should've been straightforward. The kid she liked had a hysterectomy and was never going to have kids. She should've said x kid gets all and other doesn't or only bio grandkids gets anything. Not pretend
4.5/5 is way too high. considering the sort of shitbags usually get that kind of score, but I agree grandma was TA big time. That level of favoritism is already a lot, even assuming the relationships were different not just _because_ of an inherent favoritism, but the roundabout way she went about it by excluding one girl from the will sounds kinda toxic.
Idk why so many people are attributing this guys actions to malice. Like obviously this couple is very well of financially, owing to properties in the city and buying a beachfront property. Perhaps selling an old house they're not using anymore is no more significant to him than me selling my Xbox 360 when I got the series x was. I'm not saying he's not the asshole. Clearly, he is, I'm just saying maybe he didn't think it was a big deal.
@@theickster3008finally someone with logical sense. A butthole move from op but we don't know the full dynamics between the couple. If the wife make major financial decisions, does she do the same way or no? Both are wealthy and agreed to the prenup
I'm on the spectrum but even I know that communication is key in any relationship. Even if it's yours, if it's something like a house, car, pet etc, you need to communicate with your partner about it. Otherwise, it lessens the trust, respect and love in the relationship.
I thought when OP in the first story said he had a prenup with the house, I thought it was his alone cause him and his wife where separated or divorced but SHE'S STILL YOUR WIFE AND SHE FREAKING LIVES WITH YOU DUDE!!! WHAT?!
@@HeoBaby24if I live in that home that makes me comfortable and all of a sudden that house is no longer mines and no one tell me about it wife or not I will get severely pissed. Communication is key! Learn it!
OP in the first story sounds like a real douche to his wife. To just sell the house behind her back and not tell her until the day it's sold, all because the house was exclusively OP's to do with as he wished, sounds like he values his own personal assets more than his wife's happiness. A real butthole move.
Not even the military is that bad on base housing. Sure, they can and will flip-flop whether you're staying or moving, but at least you get the time to pack, deal with schools/doctors, etc. Mom was getting fed up with that set of antics til they finally assigned dad to McConnell in Wichita and stuck with it.
I disagree on the last story it is a grandparents job to treat their grandchildren equally they are the children of their children and you never stop being a parent.
Story 1: so selling a house is stressful, but he didn't once mention it to his wife throughout the entire process. If he didn't think selling the house would have been a big deal, why did he hide it from her? He knew what he was doing was assholish and held off until it was too late for her to do anything about it.
Exactly that's something that throwing me off. It's like my partner and I. I own a 2011 Honda Accord and we both use it. If I want to get another car I talk with my partner because even if I own the car my partner still use it and my partner have a say.
First Story, YTA: That was a dick move on OP's part and yeah, he didn’t treat his wife like a wife. Decisions like this are something the COUPLE should agree on and OP not telling his wife that he sold the house (only to tell her after the sale was finalized) is a dick move Second Story, NTA: Instead of correcting Neville's behavior, she chooses to punishing Bracken for telling the truth about why Neville is getting bullied. That is is baffling to me. How is it gossip when Bracken is telling what happened because he was there lol. I somewhat agree that OP and her husband should’ve said something to Neville but at the end of the day, Neville is NOT OP's kid. Besides, a part of me feels like OP's sister would’ve had an issue with OP trying to parent her kid Comment: Lmao Third Story, NTA: OP's sister expects OP to just take care of kids without at least getting to know them? What OP is asking for is reasonable. Also, the fact that OP's sister is pretty much accusing OP of being biased because these kids aren’t blood relation is messed up; I wouldn’t want to immediately watch kids I never met/have an existing relationship with and I’m sure the kids wouldn’t want that neither. OP's sister is taking advantage of OP at this point Fourth Story, NTA: Another typical story of a sibling thinking they are entitled to the other sibling's inheritance because they have kids and marriend and blah blah blah. OP isn’t obligated to give them anything and I find it hilarious how they call OP greedy when OP's sister is the one being greedy. OP should just cut contact with the homophobes in the family and go low contact with his sister Update: I’m glad everything worked out in the end; I still think OP's sister is TA here Fifth Story, YTA: That info at the end just so conveniently was placed at the end. Elise is NOT obligated to split that inheritance with Rhea. Elise is legally and morally entitled to the trust
The last two stories of people and inheritances, these stories always seem to reveal the true colors of other people who feel like they deserve more than they are already given, or never given! If that person is given this amount of money in the will, then that's what they get. If the person is left out of the will, and/or not given anything, then that's that. It's as simple as that! That's why most people put those wills in place.
@@tawnyacosta9091that doesn't make it morally right tho. True colors? Like shit if I was always neglected because I was adopted and my sister was given 30k on top of that plus land before, I'd think she was a shitty sister not to share. It's not like Elise wouldn't know she's the favorite because Rea was adopted like come on.
Nah that's some bullshit. Rea being adopted means she didn't get a good grandma, she didn't get land, and she missed out on thousands of dollars. Elise should share at least part of the inheritance because we know damn well why she was favored, and Rea had nothing to do with it
The first story My mother did that to me, my sister, my Nana, and one of my aunts. We did not even know the house was on the market until a real estate person came by. My mom didn't even live in the house! That was when I decided to move away from her and limit contact.
Story 1 I agree with OP but on a legal stand point if the house is his access according to the prenuptial agreement so technically if he wants to sell the house he can. For that NTA. Now as far as not telling the wife until afterwards and him having backup plans so it doesn't interfere with her career, however the wife didn't tell the husband that she wanted to use the house and visit for work. Ultimately I'm calling this a failure to communicate 0 out of 5 butt-holes and 1.5 out of 5 on the marriage communication for the bad communication on both.
Story 1: Maybe certain states/countries have different rules, but in my state (Ohio), this could never happen. I sold a rental property that I owned before I met my wife, my wife never had any financial or legal ties to it, we don't share accounts and the house was even in my wife of the pre-nup (lol, that thing was a liability, she was wanted nothing to do with it). All of that and she still had to be at the closing to sign a bit of paperwork. There was zero chance I could have sold it without her knowing.
3:52 Girls in robot clubs are a sight to behold. Unlike boys, who often join because their friends are in the club, girls only join robot club if they're serious about making robots. So while the boys are making toy guns out of the lego robot kits, the girls are building and coding the entire time. I showed one girl how to code her robot to avoid obstacles, and once it started driving around, she couldn't stop giggling, like this was the most amazing thing she'd ever done in her life.
Story five: The offered solution is simple. OP obviously would leave money to his daughter's children in absence of his own. That should be enough for even the greediest sister.
Story #1, not the AH. They were already moving out so it isn't like they were going to be homeless, plus it is his house to do what he wants with. The wife does have a reason to be upset, but it seems like she is more upset that she doesn't get a house rather than not being talked to. Also if you think that your partner not telling you about selling their property means they might be keeping a thousands secrets, then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship. Story #2 OP is Not the AH at all, It is nobody's job to parent a child except the parent. If the son said some bad things then that is up to the parent to correct or to let him deal with the consequences. I don't know why you are obsessed with making op responsible for the actions of other people's offspring (not just talking about this story, it happens far too often with rSlash) Final Story: If there is no legitimate reason that you are excluding a child in the inheritance, then you are an AH. There is no other way around it. It looks like the MIL only Excluded Rea because she was adopted. You have this weird thing where you always say that people shouldn't be upset because it isn't their money. If my children were being treated unfairly then I would be upset as well. Also just to add, that by your logic if your child is ever treated unfairly in anyway you should not complain. Since "it is the parents job to treat their child fairly".
Story 2: Since when it is an aunt's responsibility to parent their nephew, especially not knowing what the parents plans were to address the issue at home?
if my nieces and nephews started something like neville i wouldnt correct it either because A. theyre not my kid and wouldnt listen to me if i tried to correct them and B. trying to correct them would defintely trigger the 'dont try and parent my kid' speech from my sibling and my blood pressure doesnt need the stress. not kid, not my responsibility to parent.
So with the story about the grandmother's inheritance i feel like the op was intentionally leaving out something that nobody else seems to be bringing up We find out in the comments that rhea is not his mil's grandchild and thus not his wife's daughter. While there are other possibilities given how he initially tried to hide this i think he might have cheated and more than that given there's less than a year between the girls he cheated within 4 months of his first daughter being born. If so he is incredibly lucky his wife chose to stay and raise his affair baby and while it is never the child's fault it is understandable that the mil would not be as invested in Rhea as she was with Elise.
The girl that was avoiding her grandma in the last story may have been avoiding her grandma because her grandma was rude to her and not because she was being a bad person herself. Of course we don't have contacts so who knows
Story 2: It's not OP's job to parent someone else's kid. However, seeing how close OP is to her nephews I could understand giving her at most 1/5 buttholes for not saying anything
15:53 sure, but that doesn’t mean to say that Rae felt the unfair treatment of her grandmother and just thought it would be better to not be around her. I mean the grandmother was cruel to make a clause of not getting the money that only affects one person rather than both. And that one person who is only affected isn’t her bio granddaughter. It’s messed up
Rslash, I’m giving you 5 out of 5 buttholes for siding with the grandmother in the last story. As someone who was adopted and had a grandmother treat me like I wasn’t part of the family, including not considering me part of the family when my parents died earlier this year, it’s absolutely fucked to claim that grandparents are in the right to treat biological grandchildren different from non-biological grandchildren. Seriously disappointed in you.
This is the first time I've considered to stop watching his content. I'm not the adopted one, but my sister is, and the idea that anyone condones extended family treating non-blood as "other" is absolutely disgusting. 5/5 buttholes, rslash. Shame on you.
Inheritance story: I think it’s crazy how much people project in some stories. “You are being greedy for not sharing you part of the inheritance”. Really? HE is greedy?
As a parent if a grand or great grand parent is treating one of ur children differently than the other u pitch a fit. Regardless to the fact that one kid is a bio or its ur parent or inlaw doing the favoring. There's nothing suspicious about their reaction to this favoring behavior. At least one of the parents should. Ops partner isn't doing anything. On the other hand op can't tell the favored child to spilt the money. It's up to them. If it were me and it very well may be at some point, I'd spilt it. Actually I'd prolly give it all to my sisters' kids. My sisters prolly wouldn't accept her money.
Also it sounded like u were condemneding the adopted child for not having a relationship with the grandmother. How's that her fault. When they were kids it was the adults responsibility to try to bond with the kids not the other way around. She chose to bond with only her bio granddaughter.
Story 3: creating a blended family isn't about treating the kids the same: it's about giving what each child needs and I doubt what the step kids need is to be thrown in a room with a stranger with no preamble.
It's story 3, 2 is about Nevile.
Yeah, they are already moving to a new state and the sister thinks the best way to help them "adapt" to this major change is to not upset HER schedule and keep things the same as they were before. It wouldn't hurt for her to actually be around her stepkids the first week to introduce them to their new family and help them settle in but she doesn't want things to change at all even with two new kids in the house... She is going to have a very big awakening when this in fact doesn't go "according to plan" for her.
Exactly. And the sister is springing the expectation last minute. No doubt she's told her soon to be husband they can get super cheap childcare from OP... without talking to OP! Crazy.
It is crazy that the sister is expecting OP to just jump in the deep end of the change, but *also* she has that expectation of the *kids*. That is super not cool.
How can Rslash say the OP from story 2 is a butthole because shes just as responsible for parenting her nephew as the kids mom, but then turn around in the last story and say its not the responsibility of other relatives to treat a child equally?
*LOGIC*
Welcome to rslash, his ratings are always all over the place.
I could .5 but not 2.
Because the other relative is “not biologically hers” bleh
i think it's an interesting question. but, assuming we had all the details from the last story, the difference is that one story is about education/discipline, and the other is about the use of personal assets. The latter may lead to some dickish behaviour, but it is their assets.
For Story 2 I actually do feel bad for Neville because if that behavior isn't fixed fast he is going to wind up grown up as a neckbeard
And Bracken could become guilty due to association
HEY! Don't insult Neckbeards! We aren't all ar$eholes 🤣
If not for their names alone! 😬
I was an unwitting neckbeard in my early adulthood. I am so glad I got a big reality check before I could buy a fedora!
This story is completely fake, written by some wannabe sjw.
Rslash: “she’s not in your side of the family.”
Also rslash: “she’s your mom’s mother.”
He misspoke. He obviously meant to say Wife's Mother, since it's the MIL.
This also threw me for a loop, but shadow cleared it up for me
@@ShadowReignhart Yes, also OP basically insinuated that MIL made the no pregnancy clause just to see Rea fail. Like, wait, so now it's her fault Rea got knocked up as a teen? What? lol
RSlash : “Not your kid, not your responsibility.”
Also RSlash : “you are an a-hole for not being responsible and teaching your nephew to be better.”
I understand practically every rule has an exception, but I feel this wasn’t one of them.
Especially when you look at other post and realize both beef steaks are the exact opposite of what he usually says.
In general he support people standing up for their kids being treated unequally and also tells people that their parenting the other people's children is not their responsibility
There is a difference between parenting a child and educating one. They are not the same they are separate!
@@Milk-ck1wv you say that like “it’s up to the parent to teach kids right from wrong.” Isn’t plastered all over the internet. Hell even RSlash has used exact line. There’s also the fact that modernly, unless you’re a teacher, parents typically don’t want you educating their kids. Usually with the excuse that it’s overstepping boundaries. More often than not, the advice is to tell the parents and let them handle it.
@dragonrider1549 the way rslash explains it is that she should have talked to the sister, his mom, to cull the behaviour. I follow the adage: "You see something, you say something."
She saw red flag behaviour and said NOTHING to the people it would matter most to. It wasn't small little red flags, nonono. What he said could turn him into a future woman-hating incel. He's still young and capable of behavioural change. It'll only get harder the longer this goes on. It's a rabbit hole, not a small pit. He WILL get worse if something isn't done.
If I had to guess, in the first story the kid needs to be corrected because of his horrible opinion on females. Just like you would do something about a man sexually harrassing a woman on the street or someone hurting a dog on the street. Those are not scenarios where you can go "not my problem" if you want the world to not be as sucky. This is not a "dont eat too many sweets" kind of parenting, deal. It takes a village to raise a child?
And the second scenario is not about "you're not helping me discipline this child that is close to you." as much as it is about "you're shoving kids on me cause you think I'm a free babysitter that can bend over backwards for your radical life changes. Specially taking in your own house, kids that you dont know." SPECIALLY when it sounds like the parents just wanna get hand them off. Which parent in their right mind would leave their kid with a total stranger to them from the get go? This woman is trying to make a single person RAISE A WHOLE VILLAGE. 6 KIDS?? That's insane.
If the second story was about parenting the kids she already takes care of it would be a fair comparison, but this is apples to oranges tbh.
Neville: **Insults the science baskets**
Bracken: **Gossips it to his friends at school, everyone know about it eventually**
Neville: **Surprised Pikachu Face**
It's literally not even gossip. He's telling a true story, a confirmed to be true story, and not necessarily with malicious intent. Everyone tells their friends about their weekend, everyone tells their friends about their siblings.
Gossip requires assumptions and the possibility of the story being false. This is not the case here.
These names are insane 😭😭😭
There's not even a guarantee Bracken even started the gossip. Any one of their classmates or friend or family members of the classmates could have been at the event to overhead too.
OP in story 2 doesn’t get a butthole score. Neville’s mom sounds like the kind of woman who would say “Don’t you try to parent my child!” if anyone else tried to correct his crappy behavior.
That's what I said yet in my replies I got two morons saying that the aunt should have said something. Clearly they've never been chewed out for "parenting" their siblings kids.... it's not the extended families responsibility to lecture kids or the parents on their behavior it's seen as overbearing and not their business unless the child is a threat to everyone around them.
@@Darksin757ProductionI agree with you. I they could have said something but it does sound like the sister get butt hurt if someone else call her out on her child rearing skill is being questioned.
Thank you! I’m so surprised that Rslash would give the AUNT and butthole score for not parenting another persons kid. Like, how is that on her?Weird.
💯👍🏿
Or, boys will be boys!😂 Those kind of people are just sucky parents usually more then the rest...
Rslash if you think Rea avoided the grandmother, it would probably be from the grandmother rejecting her in favor of the biological granddaughter
Victim blame much?
Rea wasn't her grandchild. How does she owe anything to a child that has no relation to her? She didn't owe Rea diddly. Also Elise put in the time, the work, the study of the business and dedication to the project as well if any customers. Why shouldn't that be rewarded more? Also how long have these two been married? If they're a step family (It sounds that way) and haven't been around each other that long then that gives more reasons to the MIL not leaving anything to Rea.
@@j-zk6tf He does that a lot, and the worst part is that he doesn't realize that.
@@rylashadow18but Rea was her grandchild. She does have relation to her though. That’s her daughter’s child. But yeah MIL doesn’t owe anyone anything
@@rylashadow18she should have been straightforward instead of pretending and just said she left everything to the kid she wanted to. The way it's set up gives an illusion of the option that the other one could've gotten something when one kid had a hysterectomy so was not at risk to lose anything.
Those kids must be terrible brats. The sister doesn't want OP to meet them beforehand because she knows she'll refuse to babysit them. 😂
🤣🤣🤣
Story 3: Getting to know the kids first IS the right path. Suddenly tossing two kids into an already hectic workload will cause a load of headaches, and OP needs to plan for it first.
Plus the kids may feel uncomfortable spending time with OP too. Personally I think OP should stop babysitting sister’s kids all together because she will try to toss her step kids in the mix. And one person tending to six kids is too much especially with one still a baby
The sister just wants to pretend to have the perfectly blended family. She doesn't want to wait or have to put any real effort into it. Look forward to reading about her in r/entitledparents.
There HAS to be a reason she wants OP to agree to care for these kids without meeting them first.
@@TJDiousthey’re probably brats
@@TJDious yeah, she could be going for a "oh well, you already started! You managed today so you can keep doing it."
2nd story: It's not bullying if people are just returning to you the same energy you gave them. Neville is just reaping what he sowed.
Exactly. Would it be assault if you threw the first punch?
Except no one doing the bullying were there to be victims lol they are just a different kind of bully
I would agree under the condition that the bullying stopped after Neville starts apologizing and recognizing his mistake, and given that these are middle schoolers we’re talking about, I have my doubts that this will happen. I am 100% with rSlash here in that all the adults are at fault for saying nothing at the time.
@@nathankennedy3290nah, they arent. they mocked a kid who was hella misogynistic. neville deserves it since the adults in his life never corrected his shitty ass behavior
It's also not gossip if it's a true story you literally witnessed yourself
You should really read the update for the guy who sold his house! Turns out the wife didn't want him to sell the house because she was blackmailing the gardener into sleeping with her! That's why she was upset! She later has the gardener meet her at the apartment, which btw requires all guests to be buzzed in and op gets a notification on who visits. He finds the gardener buzzed in, gets sneaky and visits and catches them in the act!
Second story: If the mom's reaction was anything to go by from her son saying "Hey my brother is being a bad person" then I doubt she would've let her sister parent her child without being rude.
Last story: So morality over legality, but only if the person being treated in an immoral way is a spouse? Rea probably didn't spend time with gma because gma was either cold at best or down right abusive because "blood is the only thing that matters when dealing with children". Only thing OP is an ah for is not cutting off gma when he saw the favoritism happening.
Story 2: I disagree on Op getting a butthole score.
Given how her sister reacted to this whole situation, if Op HAD said something i can almost 1000% guarantee that the sister would have told Op “not to parent HER children”.
I don’t think Op did anything wrong tbh, but her sister is raising a spoiled brat, glad her older son is a decent kid.
I agree
Agree. Almost every take rslash had this video was bad.
I was OP that said something to her sister concerning my niece. Wanna know what I was told? Mind your business.
Technically, I was told "Mind your own fucking business. If I wanted your input, I'd have asked."
She was 13 posting selfies in her bra and panties, video chatting on Instagram live with creeps not showing anything more than a black screen, their voice giving away they shouldn't be in any proximity to minors, etc. As a follower, I was seeing this and felt concerned enough to say something and was made out to be the bad guy. Our dad tried to flip out on me and everything until I pulled up the screenshots I took of his only granddaughter. My dad hates all social media as it is but he actually agreed with me after seeing the pictures.
It sucks because it's simply a no win situation.
My first thoughts when he gave her the buthole score, I have family like this and it's a headache trying to give input
@@NEPAAlcheythat's how he's been for a while now. He went on a break and came back a little better for a bit but he's back to needing to touch grass
When OP mentioned a prenup in the first story, I assumed he wasn't the butthole, because they were getting a divorce. But selling something as big as a house without even telling your partner is seriously weird.
They’re not divorcing. They’re moving to the beach.
Any huge deal like this should be discussed, like adults. A very dick move. It might be "legal", but that doesn't make it right.
The amount of dishonesty there. A house doesn’t sell in a day, in a week, rarely even in a month without inspection, meetings, lawyers… That’s A LOT to keep quiet about.
@@lancerevell5979"it might be" legal" but that doesn't make it right."
never have truer words been spoken
I think it would still have been okay if it had been the apartment, the one they didn't live in. But selling the house with nostalgia and other things is definitely a dick move
Last story. I don't think OP deserves a butthole score at all. If anyone did it was the other parent for not advocating for the other daughter enough. Even now they're not displaying any sort of advocacy. Yes, the grandmother doesn't have to give the other girl any money. But that doesn't protect them from moral judgment. So it's really unfair of you to cast judgment on OP. Especially since you don't think you have enough evidence for the grandmothers actions. So without that OP cannot be judged as well.
But he does have enough evidence for giving op an ahole score.
Op omitted some relevant information from the story regarding Rhea.
Ops wife took the right stance by not getting involved in a matter that doesn’t concern her.
Basically op is trying to shame his daughter who received the trust.
She doesn’t have to share a dime with her sister and I’m betting that this daughter has her own reasons for not wanting to share.
Op is the type to leave out pertinent information in order to gain sympathy.
The trust was created 10 years ago when both sisters weren’t even teenagers at the time.
The trust was also very fair regarding the age of distribution along with the clauses for disqualification.
For the Neville story: while his comments were bad I am sad because bullying is more likely to solidify his beliefs. If the adults had talked to him and worked with him he could have gotten better. But now I feel like he is probably on track to become a sexist doosh because of enablers
I really thought after the first story Rslash was understanding legality doesn't equate to morality, but then the last story happened and that went away. I honestly think the grandma here was a butthole, regardless of the legality of her choice. I'm not saying 50/50 split, but just nothing to one sibling is so hurtful.
I thought so too because I think it would’ve been fine if she’s just like my money goes to this grand daughter to get her business up and running, but making it so shady to make it appear 50/50 but in reality not be is pretty awful
He really said mind your own business about another mans kids. 😂
Giving the grandma a butthole score here is saying that the grandchild is entitled to Grandma's money and I don't think that's the case here.
@@terrencebell9979 I think it’s more saying whether she is an asshole in the given situation which I think she is. The child is not entitled to the money but that doesn’t mean the Grandma should make it seem 50/50 but then use underhanded clauses to give the money to one grandchild. Just give the money outright to the grandchild rather then pretend to be oh so giving.
@@terrencebell9979giving a false situation is a butthole thing to do. She should've said bio grandkid or x grandkid only. The illusion of choice causes drama and was in her mind a way to say she wasn't favoring, but the one she wanted had a hysterectomy and was never going to have a kid.
Second story, I can see why Rslash said OP gets a score. That aside, Neville needs to be taught a big lesson and soon. Either his parents or aunt/uncle do so or he's going to keep getting bullied and not know why.
I think he was too harsh on OP though
OP’s not responding for parenting their nephew
@@dragonriderabens9761while thats true, op shouldve said something to neville when he said misogynistic stuff and then go to their sister about it instead of ignoring it and then talking to their husband about it well after the fact.
just keeping quiet around relatives who hold prejudices is enabling the behavior.
@@epickody3924 Or she has tried to "parent" her sister's kids before and was just told to "Fuck off, they're my kids, not yours" and now doesn't even bother to try because they know the results.
Last story. Sounds more like the grandmother never tried to establish a relationship with Rea, bc she was adopted and therefore didn't consider her adopted.
My sister had a special relationship with our grandparents, bc as the oldest grandkid, they watched her while our parents worked. But when other kids came into the picture we still had relationships with our grandparents and I have very fond memories growing up visiting them. And even as our family expanded with cousins marrying and having stepkids, we wholly included them into the family. Even today where one kid isn't related, that cousin split with his ex, but we still included her, especially bc she has two half siblings that are family. That makes that kid family.
Didn’t sound like she was adopted. Probably just the fathers daughter biologically. Also the fact that he left that out of the story makes me think that he leaves more out. Like she could’ve never spent any time with her because she found The grandmother boring. Well the daughter that got the inheritance did not. Hence the showing interest in what she did. You don’t have to bond with family members. You just can’t get mad when family members do bond in your left out.
@@IlovepointlessstorysOP says she was, and that, "adopted children are just as real as biological children." It's a clarification to the story made at about 14:38.
@@taylorpnw612he doesn't say adopted, he says not biological. Could be step.
The way OP worded it in the edit Elise isn’t OPs biological child but she is wife’s bio child. And we don’t know which daughter is actually related to grandmother. OP said they’re both her only grandchildren but then in the edit said that blood relation isn’t relative to him.
@@mariposa9506 if you look at the screen at the time I said, he literally uses the word adopted. I quoted him. He says, "adopted children are just as real as biological children." So maybe his wife adopted the daughter and she was his biologically. The point he's making is there should be no distinction made between the two since one was adopted and they should be equal because of that. One being adopted shouldn't make her less of a grandchild to the deceased woman.
Story 5 - Disagree here, rSlash. The reason OP is upset is because he can SEE the continuous, targeted, petty bullying of his child by someone else. He sees it, and wants to just TRY to do something to correct it. Is the MiL in her rights to do what she did with the will? Yes. Is what she did morally reprehensible and a targeted decision to screw someone over? Also yes. It has nothing to do with which side of the family the money comes from, because OP doesn't benefit. His CHILDREN do. You so often talk about how "now that you're a father", you understand the protective instincs of a parent, and the desire to do right by their children. Well, here's a father who wants to do right by his child, but some spiteful arse is spitting in their faces one last time. Wouldn't you be on your kid's side, if your wife's parents went out of their way to exclude him in almost every way they could?
There have been enough AITA stories on this channel for all of us to know it's possible to be legally right, but morally wrong. This is one such case. 3/5 for the MiL for being a spiteful, petty bitch.
yeah hes really weird and inconsistent about the whole "legally right morally wrong" thing. sometimes hes like "well thats not very nice" and sometimes "youre allowed to do whatever you want no matter what"
@@rraaiinEspecially weird considering he DID do the whole "legally right morally wrong" thing in the first story, but then flipped the script in the last one.
I think it’s because Rslash just thinks adopted children shouldn’t get the same love or opportunities as biological children from their adopted families. I can very clearly tell by how he tells the story @@rraaiin
This inheritance is not OP's money, he has no right to say what should happen.
Here OP had 2 paths if he wanted to see it being split equally, either speak with the other kid to give up half of her money or cough up the money to the other child so they get equal treatment.
If his children do not want to split the money then he is the butthole for the reason that he raised his children that way, but trying to force his children is also a butthole move.
So the only option that remains is to cough up the money now or when he is dead.
I feel very rarely does rslash base the scores on the morality side and bases them solely off the legality of it. Occasionally he deters from that like he did in the beginning of this episode, but from what I've seem its very rare. Its the biggest pet peeve of mine about his opinions.
First inheritance story: If his sister wanted to live in a better house, they can try to find a house with enough rooms and bathrooms for everyone. Like a 4 bedroom 2 bath, because I think mansions costs more than $500k. With the money left over, she can set aside enough for her kids for college and still have enough for herself and hubby
depends where, because the house you described is 1.5 million in my area. also not sure what OP's definitino of "mcmansion" is. in any case, the sister is the butthole.
A mcmansion isnt a literal mansion. It's just a large cookie cutter house in the suburbs. They can be be as cheap as like 400k
@@skorpiongod I agree with your description of a Mcmansion, and would like to add that it's often a house far to large for the tiny postage stamp sized section it's on, but where I live if you can find a house for $400,000 then it's going to be a small and rough, in need of repair house which is over 80 years oldl.
@It-is-me...Melsie yeah my sister got a 3k squarefoot house, double the size of our parent's home but for the same price, around 500k. The difference is she's out in the boonies and my parents are 15 minutes from town. Its all about location
@@mrlughMcMansions are just really cheaply and I mean cheaply built gaudy "mansions" for people who want to flaunt their new wealth. Mostly found in low-middle income suburbs as the only multi story house among the single story ranch style homes.
In story 1, if they are wealthy enough they might frankly have an alien normal from us. If they own a lot of property he might not have viewed any one of them as important unlike his wife and this could be a case of neither communicating how they value it because they both made an assumption they attributed the same value to property. Him overly explaining it might be his attempt at admitting his social status has him view the world differently, and the source of why he messed up.
Story 2: That rating's too high for Aunt OP. Maybe .5 at worst, but imo, 0/5. You have to remember: She's not the parent of her nephew and, as we should remember, some parents out there don't take kindly to other people trying to parent their kids, family members included. It's not her responsibility. Plus, given how the sister responded to OP's advice, OP likely would've been told off for trying.
The only thing OP in the last story can do is to follow the MIL's clause, give all money to Elise and hope she's a better person than the people who raised her.
He should
I have a feeling that the MIL didn't accept the adopted kid as a "real" grandchild. Hence the favoritism. And she could as well have left it all to Elise since Rea already had her kid and fell out of the will. OP is wrong but the MIL wasn't nice.
Why does everyone forget that wills can be contested. It's a legal document, governed by local laws. 😢
@@alexanderhenby1362 I don't think anyone is forgetting that. They are just discussing things as they are.
@@trolletuvaand why Rae spent last time with her. Like as a kid, you can feel when your presence isn’t wanted
Story 2: Bracken was also the only one to call out his brother's behavior at the time it happened. Something his aunt could have done, and his mom/dad definitely SHOULD have done.
Very much this. He’s the only one getting off on a good foot in this story, imo.
Story 2: why didn't anyone say something if everyone disagreed, he's not going to stop if no one tells him he's wrong? Also you can blame the other brother if you want but let's be real if he was that cool saying these statements out loud in public in front of his mother and Aunt, then he was probably going to say something sexiest to his classmates at some point anyway, besides someone could have just as easily heard him at the raffle and told the school.
the aunt shouldn't have to parent someone elses kid. She doesnt deserve any butthole score because god forbid you parent someone elses kid especially someone like nevilles mother all you'll get is yelled at.
Awnt is not the AH here. 0/0 butthole score.
She should have spoken up at the game. That entitled buildup needs to be absolutely demolished while the consequences are "embarrassed by aunt at a school function" and not punitive measures from an institution like "loosing a scholarship" or criminal consequences cause this kid falls down some Andrew Tate rabbit hole.
@@alexanderhenby1362 its hard to know. Its not the aunts responsibility to call out that behavior, its the parents, plain and simple, and from the sounds of the mom, she likely would not have reacted well to someone else parenting her kid, so that couldve been why the aunt said nothing. If the parent wasnt there at all, id agree the aunt probably shouldve stepped in, but when the parent is around, the parent needs to be the parent.
Rslash even said that the aunt could have spoken to the parents about the behavior. There is a big difference between parenting someone else’s kid and bringing up concern about behavior with the parents. So yes the aunt deserves a AH score
This is complicated, I have brothers/sisters in law that are more than willing to correct any off the kids bad behavior, but don't you dare correct their child. So I can understand why OP didn't say anything. I wouldn't give OP any score...
12:30 It's amazing how people will often treat adopted kids differently. I was adopted and, although my mother treated me just as you would expect a son to be treated, my extended family always treated me differently because I wasn't a "real" member of the family.
The more comments I read like this the angrier I am at rslash. What if his daughter decides to adopt 30 years from now? Will he treat the adopted grandchild as lesser due to the lack of blood relationship?
Honestly rslash, you deserve a butthole score for that poisonous mindset. I'm not sure if I can watch his videos anymore. What sort of person thinks this is okay?
@@AinuLaire oh my
Last story: I wonder if your daughter would get jack from an inheritance, whether you'd think the same thing.
My issue is when OP discusses in the edit that Elise isn’t his bio child but is the child of his wife. Is Rhea his biologically? And is the grandmother the maternal grandmother or Elise’s paternal grandmother?
As someone who was not treated equality by the rest of the family that is a disgusting thing to say about they are entitled to treat your children equally.
Its delusional of you to think that everyone gonna threat some stranger exactly same as the family member.
@@pauliussipavicius4658Dude... It's not a stranger. IT'S OP'S DAUGHTER!
@pauliussipavicius4658 Did I say stranger? I am commenting on r/slash comment.
I agree favoritism is emotional torture. I also had to deal with favoritism from my family. Just because the child isn't her biological grandchild doesn't mean she *isn't* her grandchild, and just because she likes Elise more doesn't make it okay to bully Rea. Legally they may not be able to do anything about the MIL leaving all the money to Elise but morally it's fucked up and if I were OP I wouldn't have let my children have a relationship with that woman.
@@1Kapuchu100 Exactly, it's literally her grandmother treating her like that. That's just straight up abuse.
She named her kids Bracken and Neville and it took until 13 for the teasing to start? She should consider herself lucky.
I usually don't comment, but I am from a blended family. I have half siblings, step nieces and nephews, and even adopted cousins. We do NOT treat each other less than blood... we are all equal regardless.
I am so tired of hearing about how people value blood family over non-blood family because I will be honest my blood family has done worse to me than non-blood. People who do treat family (blood or not different) will always be the problem in my eyes.
Last story: wtf? Why does one daughter have to suffer at the hands of grandma in law when the other benefits / has a free ride all her life?
Rslash holy cow that take is hot garbage.
And literally any other time a kid is being excluded by family members and the parents stands up for it he says that that is an honorable move I guess it doesn't count when the discrimination a family member is dead smh
Story 3: wouldn't you want your kids to get to know who's watching them before leaving them with that person for long periods of time? Flights from Lima hearing you're going to be watching them during the honeymoon, I think it's more than fair that you get time to know them before babysitting two new kids for a long. Of time.
This reminds me of the story where a guy was going on a trip to the beach and his siblings asked him to take their kids but he first wanted to spend a weekend with the kids to see how they behave. He wanted to leave one behind because the kid didn't listen (he served cereal and the kid demanded waffles because his mom made waffles on the weekend) and could run off, which is obviously dangerous and a good reason to not agree to take him with.
People, the problem in Story 1 isn't the fact he sold his house. The problem is he didn't communicate with his wife. If you're in relationship, generally you actually TALK to the other person about major plans.
They bought a house already it's not her house? She doesn't own it op does
I can't imagine not telling my wife about selling a house, even if I considered it mine and didn't need he permission. I was selling some old tires from off of my car on the local buy and sell. I let my wife know in case someone came by and I wasn't home. What would have happened if the new buyers showed up asking to look at something before OP told his wife. I think OP needs to take some of his new money and invest it in marriage counseling.
@@HeoBaby24legally it's in OP right to do that. Morally tho OP is an absolute butthole
@@HeoBaby24 did I say she owned it? No. Should you still talk? Yes, it will only help. There's no reason not to.
@@JimLambierbut in the process of buying the new house she never mentioned to him about using the house or apartment for work. Do you not think that might have also been a conversation to have?
Story 3: I'm not sure about where OP lives but in my home state if an at home childcare has 6 or more kids they have to have a license whether the kids are relatives or not. Because the sister is paying her its a business. Also if OPs sister and new BIL has more kids and expects her to take on those kids too OP would have to get someone to help her watch the children because most states want you to have a 6 kids to 1 adult ratio max.
For the last story, there are two very important questions that need to be asked.
1.) How old is Elise's mother? If she's not 43+, I can see another reason Elise's grandmother put that clause in. Heck, it'd even apply if she was.
2.) Is Rea's baby daddy still in the picture? If he is, then the grandmother may have actually been solely favoring Elise with that clause.
the child was born BEFORE grandma died. there is no scenario where grandma isnt an asshole
I think the biggest question (grandma's an asshole either way) is did anyone even _tell_ her about the will? And if they did, _what_ did they tell her? Because if the child is 2, they might have said you loose if you have a child before you're an adult... and like any sane individual, she assumed 'adult' meant 18. Although in that scenario, I would have to question why she didn't confirm with her grandma, or read the will herself. Though, all signs point to this whole thing popping up outta nowhere. It might have even been written _after_ she gave birth, we just don't have enough information.
Last story: RSlash hates adopted/foster kids confirmed.
Why didn't the last family cut out the toxic MIL if they were sooooo worried about the favoritism?
The parents are the biggest AH for not cutting the toxic grandma off sooner and for waiting till she dies to try and address something that should have been addressed a long time ago.
Yeah that was my thought process. "If you don't treat them equally you get no contact with either"
@@AdorableFloof1999 Moronic take, elise clearly wanted to have relationship with her grandmother and i dont understand how you dont see its a clear butthole move to prevent your kid from having relationship with her grandmother becuase your ego was hurt.
They were really counting on getting the money that's why they didn't call it out
I think it's pretty obvious why. Cut off the MIL, create a rift between Elise and her parents
@@JacobWilson-nu5qh You did not listen to the story? Shes dead, what you going to cut off here?
6:22 that's the thing tho
she isn't the parent but their aunt and growing up with 3 overbearing aunts I can tell you one thing for sure aunts and uncles should parent their own kids not others
so no OP is NTA
Holy hell, in what universe is it the responsibility of the uncle and the aunt to parent their nefew if the parents are right there ? I would never even think about doing anything remotely close to that. This feels so disrespectful in so many ways. If my sister and her husband are looking away, I'll look over my nieces, but if they're here, I shut up and stand aside. Giving someone an AH score for doing that is insane to me.
First story: sign me up for rich people problems!!! Should the husband have talked to his wife first? Oh undoubtedly no question about that. But they're moving into a new home and having an apartment in the same city downtown.
Most people can't even afford a house. And if you had a house and we're moving to another one, you would have to sell your previous house because you couldn't afford both payments. So honestly, it kind of should just be assumed that You get a new house. You might have to sell your old house
Last story: OP can weight his own Will to give more money to his adopted daughter than Elise, to rectify all the favouritism and financial advantages she’s received throughout her life, putting things right.
And make Elise feel like her father didn't care for her equally in the process, and favoured Rhea.
How is that gonna solve anything?
@@1Kapuchu100 Bit of payback? She didn’t want to share!
OP2: The kid isn't bring bullied. He's being justly called out for AH behavior.
Also I really hope Bracken and Neville aren't the real names.
Well I suppose there is the name Fern. No, Bracken is a really stupid name.
For story two I think its important to note that women are underepresented in STEM because of people that say things like Neville did
As someone with 12 nieces and nephews, idk that I would correct Neville. I would definitely tell my siblings/his parents, but most of my siblings have made it clear they don’t want other people “parenting” their kids. It really depends on what the family dynamic is.
Last story: I get your point about people being allowed to give their inheritance as they choose, but I don't think OP deserves a butthole score. He's rightfully angry at how the grandmother treated Rea. It's not like he's trying to force Elise to give Rea the money, he just thinks it's the right thing to do, and he's allowed that opinion.
F*ck Rea, everyone else has.
*First OP:* Sure, the house was in OP's name, but he at least could've given his wife a heads up. He made the decisions for her without giving her a chance to share her input. OP is TA.
*Second OP:* I thought Bracken was the one getting bullied because of his name. *It's not just me, apparently, lol* Anywho, Neville learned a hard lesson about FAFO. It's not to say that he should've been bullied/harassed for what he said, but actions do have consequences, especially regarding middle schoolers. OP is NTA. I'm sensing that Neville is the golden child, and Bracken the scapegoat. I mean, if she named her kid "Bracken", she must not like him.
*Third OP:* I think OP's request was fair. She wanted to get to know the kids she would've been looking after. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* Just like OP's sister can spend her inheritance as she pleases, OP can do likewise with his. If OP doesn't want to spend his inheritance on his nieces and nephews, then that's his choice. Let his h0m0phobic relatives pay for them. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP UPDATE:* I'm glad things worked out between OP and his sister.
*Fifth OP:* It sucks that OP's MIL favored Elise over Rea, blood or not, but her last wishes are final, and Elise is not obligated to split her inheritance with anyone. OP is TA. He should focus on giving Rea the love she deserves.
no point, since it doesn't change anything in their financial situation, and it doesn't sound like it was malice either, so NTA.
Last wishes aren't final, wills can be contested all the time, normally cause people are stupid, don't make them with an attorney and just get some thrown together slock notarized. To disenherit someone you normally have to NAME THEM.
Hoops to jump through are almost never held up. Noone can make someone change their name, get a tattoo or decide what they do with their womb to get an inheritance. The law sees step grand children as grandchildren if assets are split to grand kids. If the grand kid is an adult, she has every right to contest that will.
'Made decisions for her.'
What decision? She has nothing to do with it. It's not her house, it's not her money, and a solution was already in place.
SHE made the decision to keep things separate. HE did nothing but abide by that decision
The whole time listening to the story I was thinking of one of my childhood dogs, Bracken (who’s best friend was my other childhood dog, Willow)… great name for a dog, not something I’d suggest for a human.
IMO everyone sucks in the first story. The wife seemed far too whiny when she's moving into a new house and still has an apartment in the town.
Celebrating the morning after my daughter was born with a little bit of Rslash. My partner has even started asking me "any interesting Rslash stories today?" Lol
Congratulations
Congratulations on your little one 🎉🎉
Last story: This trust is small enough that the parents (who will soon be empty nesters) could give the other daughter $10k each year for three years, and they'd be financially equal.
Now, the normal story of this kind is the elderly relative only has one relative who cares for them in their old age, and the rest of the family gets the shocked Pikachu face when the elderly relative leaves everything to the good son. Now, children/young adults like in this story can do only so much. I suspect there is some combination of Grandma playing favorites and the kids having different engagement with Grandma.
If you can feel that someone in your family, likes your sibling better than you, and deliberately treats them better, how likely are you to want to engage with that person in the future?
Rea has limited agency in her youth, which is where it falls upon the grandmother to engage first. Rea can't really come to visit as a 10 year old, after all. The grandmother, however, can visit them and spend time with the entire family, and if when she's there she doesn't make an attempt to bond with Rea, well why would Rea want to spend time with someone who shunned her?
That story doesn't feel like one of those "Grandparent only gave to those who cared about them" stories, but rather one about a bigoted and petty old woman, who wanted to spite a child she disliked.
Last Story: The Late MIL is the COMPLETE AH in that story. She’s a manipulative wench because of how she structured her will. She clearly favored one grandchild over the other and when it came time to divide the assets, she has a clause in her will that MYSTERIOUSLY denies Rea any cut. She made it look like she was the ‘fair grandmother’ while also denying Rea anything because it was ‘her fault’ for having a kid before 21. A kid MIL already knew existed. And I’m 100% certain she never disclosed this clause to anyone, and probably added it last minute to make sure Rea got nothing.
Screw her.
I really want to give her a 5/5
I mean for the last story I don’t think it’s right to do that to your step-granddaughter though, she never even gave her the chance to bond and even though it’s her right to choose who she bonds with you know that has to be painful as a child to have that rejection.
Story 1: People who say it's his property are missing the point, it's not that he has to ask for permission, but that he has to tell his wife what he's doing when it comes to big activities, such as buying or selling property. Why wouldn't he tell her? Is he actually hiding something or is he being apathetic about communication in their relationship?
It's still his house and they was moving anyway
@@HeoBaby24and he still should have told her
@heobaby2450 as she said, she still needed residence in the city. Letting her know that he was aiming to sell the house allows her to adjust her plans and/or make new ones, rather than just springing it on her. It's called being considerate.
@@jellycat9596 and as op said she can use the apartment HE OWNS WHENEVER SHE WANTS.
That argument is thrown out the window
@@mariposa9506 and he did she ain't homeless and it's still not her home
They literally bought a house near the beach and she can stay at the apartment
Story 3: those kids must be HORRIBLE!! She knows if the sister meets them first she’ll say no to taking care of them that’s why she’s trying to trick her.
I really think that, based on the story alone, the grandma in the last story deserves a buthole score too. It genuinely sounds like she favored the biological grandchild.
Bracken did what the parents should of done and shut that nonsense down, good one Bracken.
Next to OP he’s the only other person with sense in the story. Bracken had to make a stand or else others may start to think he’s an AH too
Neville and Bracken, I shudder to think what they would name a third kid.
That's crazy. How do you sell your house without telling your wife?
His house. They have another property in the city and they have just bought another one outside the city they moved into.
by being the only one on the title
@@vorpalhit5952 understandable but it's usually a decision made together unless they can't afford to keep it up.
@@vorpalhit5952it doesn't matter if it is on his name, when people also lives there and they just end up knowing "oh it is already sold", they will be flabbergasted normally.
An fyi during the selling process is a must. Especially on spouses, prenup or not, selling a house is a big decision on marriage.
@@devallen2942 agreed
*3rd Story:* OP is more patient than I because I would've flatly said no to looking after _six children_ alone. And something tells me that the FBIL's kids might be little hellspawns because if they weren't, the sister wouldn't have a problem introducing OP to the new kids. I've heard enough Entitled Parents/Children stories to know that is a very likely scenario.
Story 1: OP if you have to repeatedly mentioned how you own the property in your argument it's a sign you know you're in the wrong. It's not about who owns it this is the kind of big decision you talk about with your SO. I even get the logic behind selling the house but this is something you'd give a heads up to, that's why she's upset you made a big decision without even letting her know.
yeah, a landlord cannot just sell a house without warning, because tennants have actual rights.
I don't know that a dependant person has the same rights, but it would make sense they have MORE rights, considering they are potentially unable to move.
Yeah, on a very cold and technical level op is definitely in the right but... that's just not how marriage works, that's not how loving partnerships last, it's not how healthy families treat each other. Prenups and split assets doesn't change what showing basic respect to your spouse looks like and yes, discussing big decisions like selling houses is basic respect. His wife is right, he's not treating her like a spouse, he's treating her like some woman that hangs around that he can sometimes have sex with.
@@RiveroftheWither maybe not, at least he might have to give his wife a certain time to move out.
I think it also depends on if it's her residence or if she just visits a lot.
If she's only visiting then yeah, she has absolutely no recourse legally.
But, I wouldn't want to be married to someone like that.
@@RiveroftheWitheri understand what you’re saying but in the process of them deciding to get a new house she never brought up the fact about needing a resident in the city for her job I think that should have been something that was discussed also. I would assume if that was brought up before the move then maybe he wouldn’t have sold or would have told her he was selling.
@@Charles-qw5ug That's irrelevant, he should have discussed it with her regardless. You don't make big life choices without discussing with your partner, period. That's part of what it means to share a life with someone.
Idk that grandma in the last story should is an asshole for the blatant favoritism
Story four is giving me “do it for Dan” vibes
I don't see it, it's two completely different circumstances, problems and resolutions.
@@EndellionQT woops meant four man b
That story with the sister demanding OP give some of OP's inheritance to sister's kids is a particular type of parent that drives me nuts.
It's like if OP were to go to the restaurant with his sister and OP orders the pasta with the included side salad and a lemonade. But OP's sister orders an appetizer (that she doesn't share), the surf and turf with the included fries plus a side salad, wine with each of these courses, a dessert (that she also doesn't share) and a fancy coffee drink to go with it. And, when the bill comes sister wishes to split the bill 50:50 and cries foul when OP disagrees.
It's like lady you CHOSE to incur these costs. If you don't wish to pay them in the second place then don't incur them in the first place.
People are saying in story 2, OP shouldn't have a butthole score because she's the aunt, not the parent. While I do agree that she shouldn't have to correct Neville's behavior, I think she should've said something to her sister when it happened.
If I had a nephew who was saying very sexist things like Neville, I'd at least bring it up with sister, instead of just letting it happen.
OP shouldn't HAVE to parent, yes, but she could've at least brought it up.
Why are we in charge of other people kids. Im not parenting your bad child. Idk why RSlash is so set on blaming people in these stories recently. Op in story 2 in NTA same with a story from the other day where OP didnt want to move their picnic for an entitled couple to propose.
Aye it’s a bit weird, the parents are responsible for parenting their own children, I can guarantee if the aunt tried to parent her nephew she’d have been screamed at by her sister with “he’d not your child to parent”
So I dunno why rSlash is blaming the aunt for not parenting someone else’s child, it’s incredibly strange
I mean would not put a butthol score on it like rslash. However, you should call out bad/malicious behavior when you see it. I would rather it get called out then to be a bystander. Since that's just allowing it to happen again in public at least.
I completely disagree with your verdict on the bracken story. The aunt most likely kept quiet because it's not her place to discipline her nephew. I'm gonna tell a story to explain myself. I told off my nephew for calling his mom (my sister) a dumb wh***, and my sister just yelled at me how dare I discipline her son, she's his mother and she's the only one who is allowed to do it, yadda yadda. Ever since that moment I have limited myself to being the uncle. No rule setting, no discipline, and if he acts out in my house I get my sister and tell them it's time to go because she's unwilling to do anything about it.
So you’re fine with your sister enabling a spoiled brat then? Surely if they’re in your house, you have rules he needs to abide by? Why do you invite them over if he won’t follow your rules?
@@Tustin2121 what am I supposed to do? She pushed him out she gets to decide how shitty of a person she wants him to be. If I go against her wishes I can kiss seeing them goodbye so all I can do is have him behave in my house if he wants to spend time with me. What he does in my absence is beyond my control
Its not OP's responsibility to parent another person's kid, they're NTA.
Wow, RSlash serious missed the mark on that last story. "Mind your own business" about the mistreatment of your own kid is certainly a take, but I would not call it a good one.
Sorry rslash but at the last story the grandmother deserves a 4,5/5 butthile score for purposely doing all this drama. She is or rather was a shitload of grandmother.
Yeah I thought rslash would know better after that first story.
Disagree, not being a biological grandchild is a relevant detail.
@@kobet7341 So not being biological = not being family. Got it
@@kobet7341but she pretended and caused drama when she should've been straightforward. The kid she liked had a hysterectomy and was never going to have kids. She should've said x kid gets all and other doesn't or only bio grandkids gets anything. Not pretend
4.5/5 is way too high. considering the sort of shitbags usually get that kind of score, but I agree grandma was TA big time. That level of favoritism is already a lot, even assuming the relationships were different not just _because_ of an inherent favoritism, but the roundabout way she went about it by excluding one girl from the will sounds kinda toxic.
First story the guy I feel like has some deeper problems with telling his wife stuff like what else could he be hiding
Yes and that's the downside. He isn't giving us enough to empathize. 😊
Idk why so many people are attributing this guys actions to malice. Like obviously this couple is very well of financially, owing to properties in the city and buying a beachfront property. Perhaps selling an old house they're not using anymore is no more significant to him than me selling my Xbox 360 when I got the series x was.
I'm not saying he's not the asshole. Clearly, he is, I'm just saying maybe he didn't think it was a big deal.
@@theickster3008Hanlon’s razor!
@@theickster3008finally someone with logical sense. A butthole move from op but we don't know the full dynamics between the couple. If the wife make major financial decisions, does she do the same way or no? Both are wealthy and agreed to the prenup
@@willyougamewithme5391 true idk still fells like a dick move as she was thinking that they where still going to use it
I'm on the spectrum but even I know that communication is key in any relationship. Even if it's yours, if it's something like a house, car, pet etc, you need to communicate with your partner about it. Otherwise, it lessens the trust, respect and love in the relationship.
Channeling my Rslash voice: "its his house, his rules".
In the last story, I thought the wording made it clear that it was the grandmother avoiding the granddaughter, and not the other way around.
I thought when OP in the first story said he had a prenup with the house, I thought it was his alone cause him and his wife where separated or divorced but SHE'S STILL YOUR WIFE AND SHE FREAKING LIVES WITH YOU DUDE!!! WHAT?!
Are we ignoring the part where rhey bought another house?
She ain't homeless it's still his home that he owns what the issue?
@@HeoBaby24if I live in that home that makes me comfortable and all of a sudden that house is no longer mines and no one tell me about it wife or not I will get severely pissed. Communication is key! Learn it!
OP in the first story sounds like a real douche to his wife. To just sell the house behind her back and not tell her until the day it's sold, all because the house was exclusively OP's to do with as he wished, sounds like he values his own personal assets more than his wife's happiness. A real butthole move.
Not even the military is that bad on base housing. Sure, they can and will flip-flop whether you're staying or moving, but at least you get the time to pack, deal with schools/doctors, etc. Mom was getting fed up with that set of antics til they finally assigned dad to McConnell in Wichita and stuck with it.
I disagree on the last story it is a grandparents job to treat their grandchildren equally they are the children of their children and you never stop being a parent.
Story 1: so selling a house is stressful, but he didn't once mention it to his wife throughout the entire process. If he didn't think selling the house would have been a big deal, why did he hide it from her? He knew what he was doing was assholish and held off until it was too late for her to do anything about it.
Exactly that's something that throwing me off. It's like my partner and I. I own a 2011 Honda Accord and we both use it. If I want to get another car I talk with my partner because even if I own the car my partner still use it and my partner have a say.
It's not stressful if you pay someone else to do all the work lol.
It feels like he’s being petty for something not mentioned in the story. Regardless a heads up would be nice.
@@erima4270 the OP mentioned it was stressful, though
First Story, YTA: That was a dick move on OP's part and yeah, he didn’t treat his wife like a wife. Decisions like this are something the COUPLE should agree on and OP not telling his wife that he sold the house (only to tell her after the sale was finalized) is a dick move
Second Story, NTA: Instead of correcting Neville's behavior, she chooses to punishing Bracken for telling the truth about why Neville is getting bullied. That is is baffling to me. How is it gossip when Bracken is telling what happened because he was there lol. I somewhat agree that OP and her husband should’ve said something to Neville but at the end of the day, Neville is NOT OP's kid. Besides, a part of me feels like OP's sister would’ve had an issue with OP trying to parent her kid
Comment: Lmao
Third Story, NTA: OP's sister expects OP to just take care of kids without at least getting to know them? What OP is asking for is reasonable. Also, the fact that OP's sister is pretty much accusing OP of being biased because these kids aren’t blood relation is messed up; I wouldn’t want to immediately watch kids I never met/have an existing relationship with and I’m sure the kids wouldn’t want that neither. OP's sister is taking advantage of OP at this point
Fourth Story, NTA: Another typical story of a sibling thinking they are entitled to the other sibling's inheritance because they have kids and marriend and blah blah blah. OP isn’t obligated to give them anything and I find it hilarious how they call OP greedy when OP's sister is the one being greedy. OP should just cut contact with the homophobes in the family and go low contact with his sister
Update: I’m glad everything worked out in the end; I still think OP's sister is TA here
Fifth Story, YTA: That info at the end just so conveniently was placed at the end. Elise is NOT obligated to split that inheritance with Rhea. Elise is legally and morally entitled to the trust
yes
That's still her fuckin grandkid and op not wrong for being upset that she didn't treat her like one.
Op NTA
The last two stories of people and inheritances, these stories always seem to reveal the true colors of other people who feel like they deserve more than they are already given, or never given! If that person is given this amount of money in the will, then that's what they get. If the person is left out of the will, and/or not given anything, then that's that. It's as simple as that! That's why most people put those wills in place.
@@tawnyacosta9091that doesn't make it morally right tho. True colors? Like shit if I was always neglected because I was adopted and my sister was given 30k on top of that plus land before, I'd think she was a shitty sister not to share. It's not like Elise wouldn't know she's the favorite because Rea was adopted like come on.
Nah that's some bullshit. Rea being adopted means she didn't get a good grandma, she didn't get land, and she missed out on thousands of dollars. Elise should share at least part of the inheritance because we know damn well why she was favored, and Rea had nothing to do with it
The first story
My mother did that to me, my sister, my Nana, and one of my aunts. We did not even know the house was on the market until a real estate person came by. My mom didn't even live in the house! That was when I decided to move away from her and limit contact.
Story 1 I agree with OP but on a legal stand point if the house is his access according to the prenuptial agreement so technically if he wants to sell the house he can. For that NTA. Now as far as not telling the wife until afterwards and him having backup plans so it doesn't interfere with her career, however the wife didn't tell the husband that she wanted to use the house and visit for work. Ultimately I'm calling this a failure to communicate 0 out of 5 butt-holes and 1.5 out of 5 on the marriage communication for the bad communication on both.
Story 1: Maybe certain states/countries have different rules, but in my state (Ohio), this could never happen. I sold a rental property that I owned before I met my wife, my wife never had any financial or legal ties to it, we don't share accounts and the house was even in my wife of the pre-nup (lol, that thing was a liability, she was wanted nothing to do with it). All of that and she still had to be at the closing to sign a bit of paperwork. There was zero chance I could have sold it without her knowing.
3:52 Girls in robot clubs are a sight to behold. Unlike boys, who often join because their friends are in the club, girls only join robot club if they're serious about making robots. So while the boys are making toy guns out of the lego robot kits, the girls are building and coding the entire time. I showed one girl how to code her robot to avoid obstacles, and once it started driving around, she couldn't stop giggling, like this was the most amazing thing she'd ever done in her life.
i love how ur videos are every day at the same time, its like a lil lunch time treat
They release 8 am where I live
@@justuswoodiel305Ayyy you wake up to them!
Story five: The offered solution is simple. OP obviously would leave money to his daughter's children in absence of his own. That should be enough for even the greediest sister.
Story #1, not the AH. They were already moving out so it isn't like they were going to be homeless, plus it is his house to do what he wants with. The wife does have a reason to be upset, but it seems like she is more upset that she doesn't get a house rather than not being talked to.
Also if you think that your partner not telling you about selling their property means they might be keeping a thousands secrets, then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship.
Story #2 OP is Not the AH at all, It is nobody's job to parent a child except the parent. If the son said some bad things then that is up to the parent to correct or to let him deal with the consequences. I don't know why you are obsessed with making op responsible for the actions of other people's offspring (not just talking about this story, it happens far too often with rSlash)
Final Story: If there is no legitimate reason that you are excluding a child in the inheritance, then you are an AH. There is no other way around it. It looks like the MIL only Excluded Rea because she was adopted. You have this weird thing where you always say that people shouldn't be upset because it isn't their money. If my children were being treated unfairly then I would be upset as well.
Also just to add, that by your logic if your child is ever treated unfairly in anyway you should not complain. Since "it is the parents job to treat their child fairly".
Thank you!
For the final story, the wording seems more like Rhea was the one avoided by the grandma.
Story 2: it’s not op’s job
Story 2: Since when it is an aunt's responsibility to parent their nephew, especially not knowing what the parents plans were to address the issue at home?
2nd story: I kinda disagree with your take on OP. Neville isn’t their kid so it’s not really up to them to discipline him. that’s on Neville’s mom.
She could've said, 'Oi you little prick watch your damn manners.' Or a more traditional clip round the ear if you want to go non verbal, either or.
I feel like the 3rd story would actually belong in choosing beggars rather than aita
Story 1: OP isn't the butt hole for selling the house. It's the fact that he didn't inform his wife
she also deserves a score for being entitle to think she could use the house exclusively without any say from him.
@@1musamune kinda true actually. If she needs to be in the city, then there's the apartment he owns.
if my nieces and nephews started something like neville i wouldnt correct it either because A. theyre not my kid and wouldnt listen to me if i tried to correct them and B. trying to correct them would defintely trigger the 'dont try and parent my kid' speech from my sibling and my blood pressure doesnt need the stress.
not kid, not my responsibility to parent.
So with the story about the grandmother's inheritance i feel like the op was intentionally leaving out something that nobody else seems to be bringing up We find out in the comments that rhea is not his mil's grandchild and thus not his wife's daughter. While there are other possibilities given how he initially tried to hide this i think he might have cheated and more than that given there's less than a year between the girls he cheated within 4 months of his first daughter being born. If so he is incredibly lucky his wife chose to stay and raise his affair baby and while it is never the child's fault it is understandable that the mil would not be as invested in Rhea as she was with Elise.
The girl that was avoiding her grandma in the last story may have been avoiding her grandma because her grandma was rude to her and not because she was being a bad person herself.
Of course we don't have contacts so who knows
Story 2: It's not OP's job to parent someone else's kid. However, seeing how close OP is to her nephews I could understand giving her at most 1/5 buttholes for not saying anything
Not even... Maybe a .5 at best
Imho she should’ve gotten 0 out of 5. If a score is necessary at all, 0.5 at most.
15:53 sure, but that doesn’t mean to say that Rae felt the unfair treatment of her grandmother and just thought it would be better to not be around her. I mean the grandmother was cruel to make a clause of not getting the money that only affects one person rather than both. And that one person who is only affected isn’t her bio granddaughter. It’s messed up
Rslash, I’m giving you 5 out of 5 buttholes for siding with the grandmother in the last story. As someone who was adopted and had a grandmother treat me like I wasn’t part of the family, including not considering me part of the family when my parents died earlier this year, it’s absolutely fucked to claim that grandparents are in the right to treat biological grandchildren different from non-biological grandchildren.
Seriously disappointed in you.
This is the first time I've considered to stop watching his content. I'm not the adopted one, but my sister is, and the idea that anyone condones extended family treating non-blood as "other" is absolutely disgusting.
5/5 buttholes, rslash. Shame on you.
Inheritance story: I think it’s crazy how much people project in some stories. “You are being greedy for not sharing you part of the inheritance”. Really? HE is greedy?
As a parent if a grand or great grand parent is treating one of ur children differently than the other u pitch a fit. Regardless to the fact that one kid is a bio or its ur parent or inlaw doing the favoring. There's nothing suspicious about their reaction to this favoring behavior. At least one of the parents should. Ops partner isn't doing anything. On the other hand op can't tell the favored child to spilt the money. It's up to them. If it were me and it very well may be at some point, I'd spilt it. Actually I'd prolly give it all to my sisters' kids. My sisters prolly wouldn't accept her money.
Also it sounded like u were condemneding the adopted child for not having a relationship with the grandmother. How's that her fault. When they were kids it was the adults responsibility to try to bond with the kids not the other way around. She chose to bond with only her bio granddaughter.
That chuckle after the second story is really funny lol.