Let's Talk About TikTok's Obsession With Beauty
VloĆŸit
- Äas pĆidĂĄn 29. 11. 2022
- [AD] ayoo get 4 months of NordVPN for free on a 2-year plan here: NordVPN.com/karolina đ Code: karolina Itâs risk free with Nordâs 30 day money-back guarantee! [/AD]
____________
My Instagram: bit.ly/2Qo9rrI
My nudes: bit.ly/2KypPpn
My merch: bit.ly/2CCq5jE
![Why Are Body Parts Fashion? [RANT]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cpdxKp8nDfc/mqdefault.jpg)
![Why Are Body Parts Fashion? [RANT]](/img/tr.png)
[AD] hiyaa! get 4 months of NordVPN for free on a 2-year plan here: NordVPN.com/karolina đ Code: karolina
Itâs risk free with Nordâs 30 day money-back guarantee! [/AD]
phrenology, the forehead thing was phrenology
y a a las chicas de
đđź
For whatever it's worth, I think, "Oh, you're just fishing for compliments," can sometimes be a way of telling someone they're beautiful without looking like you're giving them pity compliments.
â€
âYou donât owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You donât owe it to your mother, you donât owe it to your children, you donât owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked âfemaleâ.â â Erin McKean
You should still try to look your best, it's been proven that when you feel you look your best you feel your best...
@@TheLovelyrosepetal thatâs not the same but I agree
â@@TheLovelyrosepetal Depends on what you mean by "best". If best mean my healthiest, most balanced self, then yes I agree. I feel my best when I'm clean, well rested, well fed and exercised. I feel my best when I'm healthy physically and mentally and my face is clear. I feel my best when my clothes fit my body properly and give me the adequate warmth. Besides that, all the frilly sparkly girly things on top aren't gonna make me feel better
No, it hasn't. That's an old grandma's narrative.
@@TheLovelyrosepetal no, actually, because donât âhaveâ to look there best 24/7. And no, going through all that effort all the time does not always make people feel theyâre best.
the anti-aging movement has gotten from simple skincare tips to âalter every step of your life to prevent wrinklesâ like aging is a part of life no amount of skin stretching and retinol is going to stop that
omg yes and the anti wrinkle straws?? people r losing their minds
Yeeess!!! Like wth..? Aging is a PRIVILEGE some people won't have. Each year I'm thankful to be alive and wish to live years to come.
@@spageticanhearu5573 Or the nurse who went viral for "looking young while she's 29" because she gets preventative botox. Was she expecting to just instantly get wrinkles and gray frizzy hair the moment she turned 25? 29 IS young, social media is just trying to make us think anything past baby face is unacceptable.
It honestly frustrates me so much because I think people aging is like wine - finer and wiser as they go (not in a sexual sense). If my grandmother looked like a 40 year old, I'd be creeped the fuck out
I saw that there are pillows to prevent them and I'm sorry but my sleep is way more important than my skin showing I am older
I got so fed up with seeing beautiful people everywhere online and hating my looks (especially my nose), that I started actively seaching for women with large/wonkey noses. It slowly slowly showed up on my feed (at least pintrest that's easier to control) and it made such a difference seeing people with my shape. But damn you really have to actively search for it and they are still with filters and stuff. So exhausting. Now I just delete all social apps and hug my friends instead...
I highly recommend Stephanie Lange. She shows how women pose and photo shop. She speaks about you loving yourself and your body. Very good CZcamsr. On top of that you're beautiful and will always be.
@@GoddesSilverRose Thank you I will absolutely look her up! Yes it takes a long time to accept and be okey with your looks but I'm hoping we all get there soon :)
i'm poc and grew up watching and reading about white people. colorism is inherent in our culture. for the majority of my life, i hated my nose. it's a "native's nose", my mom would tease me. i used to motivate myself to go to work so i can earn enough money for a nose job. now that i'm older and got exposed to media with people who look like me, with noses like mine, who are happy and beautiful just the way they are, it really gave me confidence in my own appearance too. i started following influencers who are also poc or have the same size as me. seeing them look good and feel confident in their own skin inspires me.
i watched that tiktok of one girl who said that she likes her nose, even if it's not deemed as attractive by society (hook nose), because it was the nose of her beloved grandpa. why should she change that?
i guess what i want to say is, representation really DOES matter, and seeing content like karolina's telling people to love themselves as they are because all these standards are bullshit anyway really helps inspire others to do the same.
@Eli Mor I know it can be hard. With the right people around you and always remember treat yourself with the same kindness and respect ad you treat other people. Your worth all the love and happiness in the world and to always feel beautiful.
thats some great idea, i will try that too.
Karolina: "I'm not an actress"
Also Karolina: spends centuries acting like a local citizen and not the immortal time traveler she is
Me, thinking she could be sissi in a biopic, she literally just need the wig and the white gown
@@eloisa2124 yes! Although the lady in the Netflix series called the empress, looks a lot like sisi too. But karolina definitely could play her or star in a movie set in the 1930s because with her hair cut and make up and glasses.
with her knowledge of history and ability to sew items that look vintage
sheâd be perfect for almost any historical non fiction or fiction film.
I made the very conscious choice to not have TikTok. I want mental, emotional practical freedom. I donât want this app to haunt me in any way
Ditto!
Same, I don't miss it because I have no idea what I'm missing! I'll catch up if necessary with the 'highlights' through CZcams commentary.
same. never got it, never getting it.
I can get lost in youtube shorts, candy crush, Harry potter. I don't dare download tocktk, I may cease to function
Iâm in the same boat. I refuse to have it for my own mental health.
I feel like a lot of the tiktok transitions/challenges are closely related to the 'revenge body' trope. It's all 'what I used to look like and what I look like now' and that 'now' is presented as 'better'. That's where the problem is. The way you woke up that day without the products on your face is just as lovely as the the way you are after. It's like pleasing the bully? The bully calls you ugly and you're like oh yeah didn't think I could look like this huh? But like the way you looked wasn't the problem. The problem is the bullying. They're not more valid bullying the 'ugly' person. They shouldn't bully anyone.
It's also a way *to* bully the viewer. Beauty transformations like that take skill and a LOT of money. They're not just pretty people, but pretty people with wealth. The class stratification of beauty is alive and well
@@Lolibeth Good point about the financial aspect. The amount of money it takes to buy a full face of makeup, even at a drugstore, is genuinely shocking sometimes. And to practice putting on makeup you need to buy more of it over time, so the cost increases from there. All that, even without the facial reconstruction/dental surgery/hair products and treatments side of things, really shows how much time and economy goes into putting on an illusion.
And I love these points about how it's a means of bullying oneself indirectly, and bullying others without realizing - that by encouraging the toxicity, even under the guise of strength, only keeps the problem going.
Yeah, and the fact that itâs portrayed as fierce when itâs really pretty toothless. Catering to the exact same forces that cause you to feel like the natural you isnât good enough isnât exactly fierce or powerful.
Yes! In the end they're proving the bully right. They're saying "yes, I WAS ugly, but now I'm pretty". What if they never been ugly, and the bullies were just twats or envious? Why justifying them?
Also, what happens when they start to age and arenât in the prime of physical beauty anymore? Does that mean the bullies win? Ugh đ€Šđ»ââïž
Ironically, I started getting a lot more compliments, romantic interest snd admiration for my beauty once I deleted that damned app, stopped following beauty trends and obsessing over social media. Once I simply focused on grooming myself to look clean and nice (not "clean girl" aesthetic, literally just basic hygiene), enhance my natural features and wear comfortable clothing, people started getting ALL OVER me. There is no bottle, spray or injection that can take people as far as confidence can. Being comfortable in your skin and taking care of your health will always trump any foundation or lip oil.
Also, I lowkey hate all these microtrends. The "That Girl" aesthetic was cute for a while but now we have "clean girl", "cold girl", "angry girl", "sad girl" like come on guys?? Do we have to beautify everything lol? Soon we will see "pushing out the fattest dookie girl" look going around cause people have to make everything women do "beautiful" lmao
âPushing out the fattest dookieâđ€Ł
Yeah, self improvement actually attracts people
In the nicest way possible, this comment killed me
Yeah itâs interesting, your comment about âbeautify everythingâ really hits home. Itâs weird how for a women crying or being angry can still be turned into an âšaestheticâš instead of just a normal human emotion
@@NonaMoreau exactly, women are only allowed to be emotional when it's aesthetically pleasing to the eye
It's not even just beauty, it's lifestyles. All of the GRWM and "Day in My Life" content sells a very specific lifestyle, usually the modern "clean-girl" aesthetic. Their lives appear so organized and put together and it makes you think "maybe if I buy this planner, or these organizers, or this desk" I'll be more productive. So many of these videos are just marketing tactics and it's so wild how people who recognize it. You see people stitch them and say "why would you buy all of this? Who needs all of these things? Do people really do this?" No, they don't need or do all of these things, but they can make you believe that they do and make money doing that.
I don't really feel pressure to look pretty anymore (surprisingly, not having a gender frees you from outside standards because most people don't think you exist), but the PRODUCTIVITY posts? Damn, do they make me self conscious. I have to constantly remind myself that if my ADHD meds don't make me fully functional, a self help book written by a neurotypical person and a fancy notebook won't do much either.
Not to mention how unrealistic some of those Day in my Life or My Morning Routine videos are. I've watched a few just for curiosity and I have to laugh because seriously, who gets up every morning at 4am, drinks a smoothie and goes straight to the gym? lol You can definitely be productive without everything you do looking "aesthetic".
Karolina you just turned on the camera today and spat 27 minutes and 58 seconds of straight facts
"We can deal with adjusting our beauty standards but the idea of making them less relevant is just unthinkable"
Right I love these rants she just has straight fire locked and loaded in that brain đ§ !!! She got me talking to my tv like omg... So Tru!!! đ
Literally that quote is the rawest thing Iâve seen in a while
Ikr, it makes me feel sick that beauty standards even exist, and people WANT them to be there.
something that really liberated my mind was the idea of accepting your physicality in a neutral way. you don't have to be like "i'm beautiful! i'm hot! idc what anyone says!!" (you can, but you don't have to). you can actually just be like "my body keeps me alive and carries me places and i can hug my loved ones with it, so i will not hate it."
This is what is giving me peace too, i only see my body as a flesh suit that only looks the way it is because my cells grew that way its like how rocks and plants look the way they are because of natural phenomenon, nothing more ((simplifying body to simply lots of cells that ended up looking a way, makes it feel silly to get anxious about how the cell mass grew to be and to associate moral and social values to it
This but also I started focusing on other traits. Like I'd genuinely rather be seen as kind than as beautiful, I want to put my time in effort into improving myself as a person rather than improving my appearance, because it feels like being a good person should be the thing that matters way more. At the very least it's what matters more to me. And it doesn't have to be kindness. Why not the focus on talents, or work ethic, or the ability to balance a fulfilling lifestyle? Why aren't those the things that are universally revered as opposed to appearance? It's madness? If I died at 29, I'd rather people say I was a good, talent person who helped people than them say I was a terror to all living things who makes a beautiful corpse.
Edit: Want to add that I'm not immune to overwhelming influence of the world at large. There are times I wish I was prettier. It's an active conscious decision I have to constantly make to remind myself that other things should and do matter more.
I really try to think like this, but as an artist, beauty is so so important to me, I just canât let it go. I paint such beautiful people and when I look at myself I am crushed, I look nothing like the people I want to be.
THIS! Cause the constant âlove yourselfâ trope and forced body positivity is annoying and also toxic. Why should I be forced to love something I had no control over? I shouldnât. We should be free to like and dislike parts of ourselves as we please, or even not think of them at all! đ
@@moritzwagner4332 same
I think it's important to remember the target demographic for TikTok: teens and (to a smaller extent) undergrads. Before Instagram went mainstream, high school superficiality, insecurities, "popular mean kids", ridiculous trends, etc. were high school things we could all move past, look back and think, "yikes, glad that's over". But now it's like TikTok has made the entire internet one big high school and we're all forced to attend, even if we don't have TikTok. Do you remember when millennial women were upset about teens calling them "Cheugy" a year or whatever ago? No one gave a crap what teens called them back when I was an actual teen. Our (usually very dumb) opinions mattered to literally no one except our friends lol.
Omg, PERFECTLY said. It is so scarily true.
Exactly
that's exactly how i've felt too. just surrounded by immature children... im only 19 and feel too old for the internet
Yeah, since tiktok rising I feel like the teens rule the internet now, is strange. When I was a teen felt like I had no power over midia or consumerism, now fell like they have the midia on chokehold, I don't know if this is just a "getting old" thing, not that I'm really old, but all this makes me fell like I'm 64, not 24.
OH MY FUCKING GOD MY EXACT FUCKING THOUGHTS THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I SWEAR I'M USING FUCKING THAT MUCH BECAUSE FINALLY LIKE FINALLY OH MY GOOOOOOODDDDDDD FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT
I grew up in the 60s and 70s and it was quite clear that women were only valued for their looks. But, when we paid any attention to them, or God forbid, spent any money on them, we were called vain, frivolous, or more recently, high maintenance. I began to hope, as a highly educated career woman, that other aspects of being female were becoming valued, too, like intellect, character, creativity, achievement, etc. But sadly, society seems to be moving backwards, every day is a beauty contest everywhere. The youth worship, too, is incredible, US culture, at least, just doesnât see any value in women over about 35.
@Dr. Christopher Johnson im from usa
I don't think women aren't being valued for anything other their looks. We just don't get the sexual attention unless we're young and beautiful. As women we also must learn to separate those things, because when we're young the attention we get is mostly sexual in one way or another. Then when we get older, we notice less of this kind of attention and we may start feeling undervalued. But sexual attention and being valued are not synonymous.
@@frusia123 great comment we are so programmed to think sexual attention = being valued and without it we are nothing but that is just not true. how many young pretty woman because single mother that are abandoned by men because they didn't truly value them but was just giving them sexual attention. and there so many older woman who are deeply loved and highly valued for who they are. so value as a human being does not come from sexual attention and we have to understand that.
@@frusia123 such an important realization for all women to have
Yeah no matter which direction you go in people are going to judge you. Might was well live for you and not for others. Most won't be around in the long run.
22:05 The obsession of Victorian authors to describe specific parts of the body, especially facial features, is because phrenology and physiognomy was such a big thing back then. It was usual to comment on specific parts of a character's features because the 19th century reader would immediately understand what it meant about their personnality (ex. : low sloping forehead = being a "born criminal"). So not as much dictating beauty standards as dictating moral standards... Through physical appearance (yeesh)
And the false correlation between beauty and morality continues to influence us today. It's half the foundation of pretty privilege. 'Beautiful' people are given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to character, even unconsciously. The core problem is society still values superficial appearance over quality of character. It's not enough to say "well everyone's beautiful in their own way" because one, this doesn't play out in reality - people ARE treated differently based on appearance - and two, this thinking ignores the actual problem, which is the overvaluation of physical assets. We have inherent value as human beings that has nothing to do with how we look.
@@madeleineherrick1793 thats why pretty handsome pyschopaths have cult fanbase
Yes! That wasn't beauty standards. The (bad) science of the time had "proven" criminal traits. I won't fault Bronte for not wanting her soap opera characters to marry criminals and madmen. The readers would have expected these kinds of physical traits to be mentioned.
Ah yes, the infamous *killer brow*
@@madeleineherrick1793 Salari's "Talent Belongs to the Beautiful" vid does a great job tackling this
A hard part for me was learning that the whole "Oh, everyone is beautiful âšïžâšïžâšïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž" thing is kinda... weird? Like, it's odd to me that 'beautiful' is a sort of requirement for a lot of people in order to be HAPPY.
i think for some people that statement might come form two places that make it make sense to me sort of:
1. everyone is beautiful bc 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'
2. everyone is beautiful because 'beauty comes from within'
but i really like your take on it and the way you approached it :)) i hadnt realised before how all consuming 'beauty' whatever it can mean is.
@NA:D yeah, that totally makes sense!!! My confusion stems from the idea that some people have that "beauty = worth"
I used to care about beauty too. But mostly because I was bullied in middle school... And then I became a horror artist and I'm positive about myself without caring if I'm beautiful or not. I personally see my appearance as a canvas for what I want to create. Like "Yeah, I'm an ugly guy, moving on." đđ
It feels a bit patronizing, like if youâre nowhere near conventionally attractive you need to be lied to about it to feel better. Nah, man. Itâs ok to look weird or ugly. Youâre allowed to exist and be happy and respected even if literally no one thinks youâre physically attractive. No one is obligated to be pretty, beautiful, handsome, hot, or whatever.
@@masondoll4205 i totally understand and feel u :)) ill remember ur comment the next time i speak ab this to someone, i think its v cool ! have a nice day
I am over 60. I have felt so much shame that I have not aged gracefully. That my genetic heritage meant that I wrinkled and sagged early.
Ironically I like myself more than ever, and people really want me around because of the decades of work I have done and the life lessons I have learned.
The good news? My peers feel the same way. We recognize the complete manipulation that the beauty industry is. Which doesnât mean we are immune to it! It just allows for more self acceptance. More choice.
I am allowed to play with my style even if I am fat and wrinkly.
I love you maâam! People like you deserve the world
I can appreciate this. I started balding and going gray in my 20s, and I was mildly freaked out by it at first. But when I ended a LTR in my early 30s, I decided to roll with it and even embrace it (I used to say I was a few years older than I really was) and in my mid 40s, I can see it made a huge difference. Accepting your unavoidable circumstances is paramount to well being; and honestly, I like being un-young. My temper has cooled off, I'm way more professional, and the opinions of strangers mean even less than they did when I was young.
You`re my mama age and she`s beatiful! Just like every her friend and any other woman her age. I told her to not die her white hair (that`s what where her "phobia") and now she`s happy. So I wanna say you`re wonderful!
You're a treasure, thank you for your comment!
This is exactly how I hope my mindset will be like when I get older. Aging is beautiful especially when itâs noticeable like wrinkles, youâve lived and experienced things and your wrinkles essentially reflects that.
I hope everything in life goes well for you :)
I love my wrinkles. Im in my mid 50s and I didnât follow a âno wrinklesâ lifestyle. I think of all the people I knew who didnât make it to 50. They died young and will never have the privilege of aging. So I think being older wrinkled and grey haired is a wonderful thing. Best time of my life so far and happiest too.
This is deep, wowâ€ïžđđœ
that is beautiful i never thought of it that way
Can't wait to earn/experience this â€ïž
Why would I want to live long in a world where people are cruel soulless creatures and murder each other over the most mundane issues? Especially, why would I want ro live into an age where I am no longer valued in society and become completely invisible? No thanks. This earth is actually hell and I can't wait to get off of it. My best friend committed suicide at 29. God I envy her. I wouldn't have the courage to take myself off of this God-forsaken planet. I'm 40 now and I know the that life is pretty much over. There is nothing going forward now. There's no hope of nothing new and exciting. Just the days of getting slower, losing your mind and memory, getting more aches and pains, more risks for disease and eventually to become obsolete, forgotten, and canceled off this earth. No thanks, I want to go now.
I will be damned if I give a crap about my looks when I'm 50. I want so badly to go back to how I was when I was a teenager. I didn't give a shit how I looked and I never felt more free. Then I turned 20 and all the sudden I cared. Trying to get out of it now I'm in my mid 20's. I want that freedom back.
once upon a time i was a "tumblr girl". cute schoolgirl skirts, long hair, skinny legs, goofy expressions. my photos evidently were good enough to be stolen and used for catfishing and for "aesthetic" blogs for years later. at the core of it, even though i was getting attention for my looks, i was so deeply insecure. i'm older now and i feel haunted by those photos, an ideal of myself that I never was and can never live up to. in all ways my real self can never be and was never that person. i guess what I'm saying is that it's dangerous to start believing that your online avatar of yourself is the real you. but tiktok blurs this even more..
edit: i really didn't mean for this to become a discussion about catfishing! i really only mentioned that as an example to show how much reach my photos/selfies got in those times. the amount of attention my photos got totally overwhelmed me, i was already suffering from a lot of self image issues so it was like pouring gas on the fire. i can't imagine what it must be like to have your visuals have the reach that they have on tiktok today. tiktok doesn't even really allow for the sort of individual expression that tumblr did, at least i was able to make posts about my life and my pets without worrying about the algorithm. idk . i have a lot to say about this evidently lmao
You wanna know whatâs extra sad? A lot of those catfish where ugly men who just wanted to feel desirable on dating app, because most women find a majority of men ugly. Theyâd rather be a completely different person just to receive attention at all.
Whoa!
@@prouddegenerates9056 I'm not sure where my all my photos ended up, it was sort of only at the beginning of Tinder.. mostly I found them being used on fake facebook profiles or on other blog websites. sometimes it was like.... to show what the face of their fanfiction character was supposed to look like I guess? it is an intensely weird feeling to lose 'ownership' of your own face lmao
a friend of mine had it even worse though, his selfies were used as ads for male adult sites..
@@neconeconeco That poor man might have a lot of explaining to do in the future đ«Ą
@@prouddegenerates9056 it's given him a lot of trouble, actually. people leaked his address and his mom's address and he's basically quit social media and the internet since then. I guess my point is that like... there's an irony in people using my tumblr photos to catfish people when really, was I not sort of catfishing people into believing that I was a happier, cuter and more exciting version of myself? the internet is wild.
Something I feel is often missing when discussing modern beauty standards is just how artificial they are. It's all so much editing, Photoshop, filters and posing and often people end up looking very doll-like. People often speak of these images as "too perfect" or just "unachievable". I think the point should be that human beings do not look like that in real life. It's essentially an inhuman ideal. I don't agree that that's "perfection". You should look like a living, breathing human being, not a doll. And it pisses me off how we get ideals pushed on us, that don't even look human, and so many feel bad for not looking like that.
Exactly its so tiring
Yess, and then litterly everyone gets insecure. No one wins, the people posting the tiktoks get insecure because they don't actually look like that and the people seeing the tiktok get insecure because of something unrealistic. No one wins.
I only really realized this when I started getting into kbeauty makeup and fashion. The girls use filters and editing to look so inhuman itâs was shocking. After a while though, I realized western standards are just as bad but I was used to it, unlike Korean standards.
some people do look like a doll but facetune should be legally declared when used
When I do post on Instagram-- I post maybe 2-3 times a year because I figure the people I *actually* care about don't need to see my Instagram to know what I'm up to-- I never use filters. I post my pictures as they are. I'm posting to update people about my life, not to put on a facade about how amazing and perfect everything is.
I have a friend who only follows close friends and family on instagram. She's honestly my hero. She follows about ten people, doesn't post often, and doesn't use filters on any of her posts either.
Chad Chad, another CZcamsr, recently made a video about TikTokers who trained their faces to not use certain muscles to that they age "slower" and one of the comments laughed off the idea beauty influencers giving aging advice because they're all 18 years old.
some people must seriously have deep rooted issues if their sense of validation relies so heavily on their looks that theyâd âtrainâ themselves to use as few facial muscles as possible to prevent aging. when are we gonna draw the line between taking care of oneself and an unhealthy obsession with ones reliance on peersâ judgement.
Gen z is really afraid of aging bc they donât know what to do in the future, i think
@@selinaltundis3562 theyâre probably not going to have a future with the rate of the environmentâs decline so what are they worried about
I love Chad Chad
@@siribaimusic đđ
It's worth noting that the increased "diversity" of beauty is still very narrow. Basically you can break the mold in one (1) way as long as everything else still fits the mold. Better doesn't always mean *good*, sometimes it just means *less bad*.
Yeah, for example while there are more plus-size models nowadays, they are still often plus-size in "acceptable", "beautiful" ways, and I just don't feel represented by them, personally. It's better than it used to be but it still has room to improve.
I really felt that for a long time after I gained weight, without anyone even saying anything. I just thought that when I was skinnier I could âget away withâ short hair, and now I should grow out my hair since I'm already breaking the mold in another way. Itâs like youâre allowed 1-3 flaws and the rest of you needs to make up for it.
That's so true, like now we see a wider range of ethnicities being considered beautiful, but when you look at all the young girls showing off their "diverse beauty" on tiktok they still all use filters and the same makeup techniques to virtually look like the same racially-ambiguous girl: Narrow nose, big eyes, big lips and (mostly) tiny chin.
I noticed even as a little girl that the one or two token black girls in the "hot girl squad" always looked just like the white girls, but in a different shade. I thought that was the standard of black beauty for SO LONG: a white girl dipped in chocolate.
To anyone reading this, PLEASE don't hurt yourself to fit a beauty standard!!! I'm only 32, but I have been around long enough to see standards change so drastically that I no longer care what other people think. When I was in high school, being stick thin was sexy. I wasn't "pretty" but I was stick thin. I was only 89 pounds at the age of 16. Turns out a few years later my doctors realized I'd had a medical condition the entire time and I wasn't digesting food. So I was literally slowly starving to death, but the girls in high school were jealous of me! The only people thin "enough" were me (starving because of a medical condition) and models (mostly starving to death of eating disorders.) I was told I had a unibrow in high school, because I didn't pluck my very normal brows and left them natural. Now, my brows are considered too small! And I supposed to color them in to make them look better. In ten years I'll probably "have a unibrow" again. It always changes! It's just to make money off more products that you "need" to make you pretty again. You're wonderful as you are. Don't waste your life chasing the literally unattainable. It's all fake angles and photoshop, or very dangerous behavior to make yourself thin in the "right" places.
This is so true! When I was in secondary school being stick thin was the âin thingâ or I think they called it âheroin chicâ at one point which is just an awful term to use.
But now being âthiccâ is in, so basically being chubby but in an attractive way. Meaning only your boobs, bum and thighs are big while everything else is still tiny đ€Šđ»ââïž
Iâm 39, and Iâve concluded that sometimes I fit a beauty standard and sometimes I donât. Iâm not going to spend a fortune to meet someone elseâs standards.
Fr!!! And like imagine, Kim Kardashian takes off her BBL and now having a big butt wonât be the ideal anymore, and youâre out there with a surgery that you risked your life for and isnât âhotâ anymore- like?? And all for what?? To be attractive toâŠmen? I think itâs about time we all collectively moved beyond this but the thing is, younger people are more vulnerable and impressionable and easy to manipulate and keep in this same loop forever, so every new generation that comes gets manipulated into falling for the same trap over and over and the companies that are capitalizing on our insecurities keep making money forever.
I totally agreeđŻWhat was the medical condition btw? I've always been extremely thin and am curious
@@witchykittyy absolutely yes about the BBLs.
there's a youtuber from my country that talks a lot about beauty standards and body image, she made a video telling people "you have the right to be ugly". it became kind of a meme but she's right: we try to make ourselves feel better saying that we're beautiful no matter what people say etc but why always beautiful? like if say that you're short, people wont say "noooo, you're tall".
I dont know if you all get what im saying lol but here's the thing: we can be ugly or fat or short or whatever. the important is that we live confortably as we are. I've struggled a lot with this idea that i was ugly, i couldnt stand looking at myself in the mirror, would wear grey clothes so i wouldnt stand out etc. Now i dont feel this way, im happy. I don't find myself beautiful, just mid and thats fine because to me the most important is that now i can look myself in the mirror and believe that those are MY body and MY face, and i deserve to be happy in this world
I understand what you mean. Your explanation reminds me of a quote I once read on Tumblr: "Body positivity has largly failed because people started arguing for attractiveness and romantic prospects instead of respect and dignity."
In my twenties, my self-image fluctuated between "I'm ugly" and "I'm the sexiest woman alive." When I turned thirty it was like a switch flipped. Although there are still times when I detest my body, my self-image now fluctuates between "I'm ugly" and "it is what it is and that's okay". That mindset has given me better peace of mind.
Most of all I would like my body to be treated as elbows are treated; elbows are a body part that simply exists. No one argues about ugly or beautiful elbows, they just exist. I wish my body could just exist without being categorised as beautiful or ugly. I wish that for everyone.
I find it interesting that people around me get uncomfortable when I call myself fat. Like, it's just what my body wants to be. Healthy eating and exercise seems to only affect how I feel and not how I look, and I've learned to be ok with that. It's weird how body positivity seems to have only affected advertising and normalized plus-size fashion but not attitudes towards those same body types.
My dad would tell me that if i dont sleep properly at night i won't get tall to which i said i won't get taller anymore and don't care about that and he responded that its best to be tall because it looks better?? I dont care if people try to reach a standard but if i don't care about it don't make me feel like i need to
You reminded of this sentence I read once that said "home is where you can be ugly in peace" it made me laugh and think of that feeling you get when you're back home, alone, and just put on whatever old clothes, hair in an ugly ponytail, and it feels so freeing. I guess I just realized we should aim for that feeling of freedom all the time!
genetic fitness value
I'm here for the rant. Its like having a roommate who just enters your room with "and another thing!" đ€
Exactly right! I had a roommate who always gave me these info dumps and I loved listening to them.
I really don't get the obsession with short form, I love coming on youtube and seeing that you and other creators have posted half hour long videos. Like you said, most short form is either completely empty and devoid of meaning, or I've noticed, super condensed long form. and I'd rather watch the entire original thing because I like knowing how things were done and made and what people think and learning from other people's processes and creations
I couldn't agree more. I like shorts for a quick joke or a cute pet moment, but it gets 'mindless' very quickly.
Same, I love listening to 3 hour long book reviews while cleaning or eating, or doing something with my hands, it's calming. I honestly just want to throw my phone in the Thames and move to the mountains sometimes.
Yes!
Short form ruined me for a bit due to ADHD, I was happy videos were short but it became an addiction for months and re adjusting back to long form was a bit hard
The problem is how bad CZcams is as a content delivery page. Unless you already have a wide variety of creators youâre subscribed to its almost impossible to find new entertaining content thatâs relevant to you. All i get pushed on here is sports Iâve never watched, music i donât listen to, weird challenges from influencers Iâve never heard of and just things that arenât relevant to my interests. Not to mention most CZcams content isnât that long form anyway. Too many videos are within the 3-8 minute content range that it almost doesnât feel worth it to sit through the several unskippable ads. TikTok on the other hand figures out exactly what you like and if you donât like it you just swipe past it and the ads.
The "spontaneous street fashion" one is a special for me. There's a whole series of videos from China with gorgeous people in incredible outfits and people in comments are unironically commenting how amazing "regular" people are there as if these weren't clearly models with professionally curated clothing hair and makeup.
Pretty sure most of the comments where made by bots bc China is strenghtening their soft power via social media. Tiktok/Douyin is owned by them. I worked in China for about a year in Guangzhou and while there are some quite fashionable/alternative people, most of them are too busy/tired to fashion up. Unless they're professionals.
Those rural tiktok video's are weird, because they're clearly fake, but so entertaining and interesting
Yes and no. Yes a lot if not all of those tiktoks are models but no itâs not entirely fake because people in east asian mega cities do generally dress way better than the everyday northamerica slobbish active wear or casual outdoorsy wear. (From someone who really misses people watching people who dressed nice instead of basic sports wear )
I'm glad I didn't grow up with TikTok. I had NO pressure to wear makeup or do my hair in a professional way as a teenager, or even young adult. Clothes was the only thing my peers had some kind of obsession was. And toys/games. It would have felt really bad if I had wasted my teenage years getting "beautified" for hours, every day, instead hanging with my friends, doing sports and reading. You know... actually useful hobbies for your brain
I feel this. Even Myspace was a bit of pressure for my growing up. I can't imagine what it would have been like had this very significant pressure at my finger tips all of the time. I can 100% say that in my adolescence, the access to filters would have been extremely damaging to my psyche.
yeah me neither. the closest thing in had to social media was youtube and it was AMAZING, just watching let's plays blissfully unaware of the societal pressures of the world. 100/10, would re-live again.
Me too! 32. Canât imagine being a teenager in this world đ
i was born and raised in poland, lived here my whole life, almost 24 years of daily contact with polish language, culture etc., only to now discover that yes, snow white is in fact snowball in polish
Now I'm gonna ruin all of that, I think in this case ĆnieĆŒka/ĆnieĆŒynka means Snowflake đđ»ââïž
@@kaboomie0unnie what
Honestly I'm sure how to learn this language. Polish is a hard language to learn. My bf is Polish and I'm learning a few words now. It's not easy at all i get stuck on pronunciation a lot. đ«
o kurw faktycznie 0o0
@@tessy28 good luck :3
The whole Tiktok beauty content and they way it manipulates people reminds me of this old YA series called "Uglies". In the books, the government requires everyone to receive plastic surgery at 16 (spoilers: in order to give their citizens brain damage to make them easier to control), so the characters have extreme wrapped ideas of how people are supposed to look. Like, the main character literally has a panic attack the first time she sees someone who's aged naturally past the age of 20. It's a great series, especially in how it analyzes how we relate to our own image, society's expectation of what we're supposed to be like, and what part all that plays in our identity and how we act
I love that book series I wish someone would turn them into movies.
@@la6136 I agree, but I also get how that would be EXTREMELY hard in modern Hollywood
@@prettypic444 Ever see Logan's Run?
Hopping from MIna Le's video to yours like I'm on a deconstructing toxic beauty standards hurdle race
omg same! top tier creators đđ» so eloquent
literally I feel like the gods have sent us them both in this time bc of how horrifying beauty standards are getting, it's hard to feel good about yourself these days
Same!
hahaha
Related, for a few years now I've been actively trying to ensure I don't ever comment on someone's appearance - aside from directly chosen things like clothes, or hair styling/dyed colour (obviously I recognise those are still physical things but they are things people have actively curated, it has a bit more of art to it) and I find it has gone really well, and also made me realise how much as a society we focus on looks!
I also deleted tiktok ages ago btw, I actually enjoyed it, thankfully I mostly got jokes and memes and music and pets, but it was way too much of a time sink for me as well.
I think this is such a valuable distinction to make! A compliment on someone's actively curated style is a great compliment.
I also think a good add-on to this is avoiding commenting on your own looks in some cases. A lot of our insecurities come from other people telling us about things we should be insecure about indirectly. Ex. Someone calls their own nose ugly, and your nose looks similar. Voicing these insecurities in such a casual way can be damaging in ways we don't think about. That's not to say we shouldn't talk about our insecurities, just avoiding throwing out casual comments without thinking about how they effect ourselves and other people.
@@vitalyaloves 100% agree!!! I know people say that they only mean it for themselves and have different standards for others, but ultimately saying something negative about yourself often necessarily implies to others that you're at least partly thinking it about them as well. And with looks it seems to be more accepted (in particular, I think, with body size). Most people would not, for example, complain about being unhappy with their grades to someone who got lower grades. Yet people will complain about their bodies as universally negative with no consideration for the people they're with. As you say, it is still important that people do feel able to talk about insecurities, body image issues etc, and these issues can very much affect anyone's health significantly, regardless of how well they fit society's ideal. So it's a really tough thing to navigate, to allow space for people to express those feelings but also be mindful of how it impacts other people's health and wellbeing.
@@kpwxx So well said!
@@vitalyaloves same to you! I'm following on from words of others! In particular I think Aubrey Gordon (yrfatfriend) has a couple of articles that talk about this really well, really opened my eyes to it.
âPretty Privilegeâ is definitely a thing and Iâll admit that Iâm dead jealous because I donât have it. Iâm not conveniently attractive, Iâm chubby, (something I canât change no matter how much I diet and exercise due to having PCOS), I have thin hair, adult acne and a stubby nose.
Not all the time but there have been moments when Iâve definitely noticed how extra I have had to work to get certain opportunities just because Iâm not pretty. Both me and this girl I worked with went for the same new position in a job. It was a group interview and we were in the same group. I showed up early, revised my knowledge on the company, answered all their questions correctly and even made two of the interviewers laugh (in a good way). I didnât get the job.
The other girl however turned up late because she slept in so the interview had already started, forgot to switch her phone off so it rang during the interview, didnât know any of the answers to the questions she was asked and gave off a bored, disrespectful attitude throughout the whole interview. She got the job. Why? Because she was stunningly pretty and I know this because when I had to go to the office she now worked in to get some paperwork all the girls working in there where absolutely gorgeous.
So I didnât get the position because I didnât fit their office aesthetic and my gosh that was painful. I left that job soon after because I didnât want to work for a company that valued how your face and body looked over how you actually did your work.
I saw something similar happen to two friends. Basically, a rare job position was cleared. Friend A had been doing volunteer work in that place for years, knew the craft by hand, workplace was like her second home. The job was given to friend B who is a lovely person but is also locally famous for being pretty + the boss in that job had a major crush on her and everybody knew. Friend A had a major breakdown and left: Everybody looked down on her because of how she reacted but...I mean...
Anyway, what I learnt fron that experience is that eh, you're still better at the job. Yes, it sucks that people won't see that and it sucks to not get all of the opportunities you should be getting, but it's their loss. In the end they will indeed have lower quality than you could provide and it will show and they will have to work that out. So, good riddance to them. I hope you find somebody that values you for what you can provide because you will SHINE bright af.
I got hired without an interview to work as a manager for a medical office. I had zero experience. I had one fast food job experience under my belt. I didnât even have cpr certificate. I only walked in the office and was told to answer the phone on the spot. I did and I was hired. I hate speaking on phones. For the next three years the doctor treated me like hell. I then Found out he hired me because I was pretty and I reminded him a lot of his ex wife. He would be extremely nice to me then Extremely mean. I didnât know any better I thought all bosses were like that. All of our patients loved me and were sad I left. But I experienced first hand how it affected me after. I refused to work with anyone. I now work with kids. I love them and they genuinely love being with me and I love them. I always feel that people only befriend me for my looks, it doesnât help that many guys have used me to make their exâs jealous . Itâs sad to say they do get jealous and would take them back. I always felt so sad about that because I would fall for them đ
@@LA-lq1zf why did this come off more as a brag than a "relatable" anecdote? I mean I'm glad you found working with children to be much more rewarding i get it, but your comment kind of reads as being a bit tone deaf and oblivious to the content of the original comment/topic. Only my opinion, but I'm just saying what you wrote just sounded more like a slight flex rather than an empathetic story that shows your solidarity.
The good thing about it is that you were spared from the nightmare of working for that company. They don't deserve you. You'll find a better job somewhere where people are truly valued. I work in a place like that, so I know companies like that exist. It took me years to find this job, but it was worth it. Best of luck, you sound like a great asset for any company đ
@@jasmineshelton759 I apologize if it came off as a brag, I wrote it here on CZcams because I know if I said it out loud to anyone I personally know, they would probably see it as a brag or they wouldnât comprehend how I truly felt, so I always kept that thought and feeling to myself until now that I wrote it out. Iâll take your comment as constructive criticism, for my future public written expressions. Thank you
I couldnât figure out why my body image had been so bad lately. I dont use TikTok but that doesnât mean I havenât been constantly surrounded by the ideas it is spreading.
i feel that frequently watching videos like this help me a lot with my own perception of myself and my relationships with people and (im gonna sound goofy) societal expectation. if you like videos like this, you should check out Khadija Mbowe, Tara Mooknee, and Mina Lee
Along with your videos, deleting tiktok was what saved me from s*icide Iâm not even jokingđ
That and my mom lol
Oh golly đ„ș, glad you're still around!
@@mannikka Hahađđ wich Ălfgifu are you referring to? The anglo-saxons were full of them lol. And hello, your majesty.
Same except it was instagram for me
Iâm really glad youâre still here â€
I'm coming from the artist end of it, currently there is no *good* place to post art, people left DA and moved to twitter and instagram, but instagram changed to short form to mimic TikTok. Twitter is taken over by Musk. Artists also moved to TikTok, currently considered the best platform for art which is insane, as you have to turn your art into a 5-15 second video with sped up time, tunes and filters. Something weird is happening. 15+ years ago on DA there were lots of multi-faceted, detailed kind of paintings. Breathtaking, but you had to sit there awhile to drink all of the artwork in. With feed-driven short form sites like twitter, insta, tiktok, the mode of art has gotten much, much simpler so you can read it at a glance, and it is overflowing with art of pretty people's faces, like art literally tailored to give instantaneous beauty impressions much like you have described for beauty standards. I found myself drawing different and much simpler art to suit that, but years ago I used to do very big paintings. Back then you expected people to stay awhile and look at it, and art was meant to be drunk in to give a deeper lasting impression. Also, chasing the algorithm has drastically cut down on variety - because art styles that are a little hard to understand or just plain too detailed, gets scrolled past. Things are converging and looking more and more similar to each other.
Anyway, I don't know what to do about it right now, but I'm pulling away from these sites. Making a small website of my own to put artwork on it. Nobody will probably look at it - but I think it's so important to beat the feed, atleast beat what it does to you. There's nothing "social" about it like community, everyone just getting exhausted and feeling bad merely by using it
Edit: Yes I have Tumblr. While it's probably the best foil-wrapped turd available, I don't think it's the full answer.
I agree. I can't find a platform to share my art because if you're not doing fun reels, Instagram will shadow ban you, so you have to post something you spent hours, maybe days in the form of a 5 second video... No one will care about your original art and those who do are only going to look at it for a mere moment and forget about it.
It's not perfect (or even good), but I'd try tumblr if you're just looking for an online platform to post your art. A lot of people on there specifically have the algorithm stuff turned off, so if you hit the right tags and get reblogged by a big blog, you can get an okay following. I follow at least a few artists myself.
I hear you. I have been off social media for a long time and consider to pick it up again, to connect with the artist community. But nowhere I feel as it used to be. Even oldschool forums are total garbage. I'm kind of waiting for a comeback for artists but I think this will take a while, I'm guessing 2-3 years until we can shine again. The question is where.
I'm alright in Instagram, I get the artistic content I want and others see my work too. But I don't use the app, I only do stuff from the website. I find it healthier that way. Open the page, post something, check others' work, close the tab, end. No annoying notifications or unwanted stuff.
Twitter is a dumpster fire, but it was already before Musk bought it so... not much changed!
please make a tumblr
After seeing all of the TikTok filters, I stopped believing any "beauty transformation" is real when I can make myself look like a model with one tap.
Self love doesn't mean altering the way you look surgically to fit an impossible beauty standard. Why is the body positivity movement only from the neck down? All faces are beautiful, all lips are beautiful, all noses are beautiful.
Self-love has somehow become just âpay for makeup or else you hate yourselfâ
Its so weird. To me, self love mean exactly not feeling to change oneself to meet anyone's standards. I mean, even if I look like trash, if I *specifically* love looking like trash, it's my choice đ€·đ»ââïž meeting any standards, regardless of how realistic the standard is, is so silly.
@@avo5499 "To me, self love mean exactly not feeling to change oneself to meet anyone's standards."
People sometimes say that putting a lot of care into your appearance sends the message to others that you value yourself. No it doesn't: it just sends the message that you care a lot about what other people think of you.
There is a Japanese word that helps be a lot with beauty, perfectionism, OCD, etc. itâs âwabi-sabiâ which roughly translates to âperfection in imperfect.â Just itâs plain and flawed existence is beautiful, and so is mine.
Realizing how beauty standards are pretty much a social construct is truly so liberating.
Edit: I love how people lack functional reading skills and keep bringing up "biology" when I clearly stated "...are pretty much a social construct", giving obvious indication that some form of biology is involved in attraction/notions of beauty. Fully aware of that. Thanks for the laughs LMAOOO
Men are visual so those kind of women will do whatever it takes.
@@Exodus26.13Pi I am glad to know women are blind, thanks for opening my eyes đđđđđđ
@@arachnidlupus7625 this troll is commenting this type of thing under other comments. Ignore them.
@@Exodus26.13Pi As a man, no thank u...
@@NikkiDoesStufff oh, ok.
So glad you made this video. Itâd be so easy for people to respond with âyouâre just jealousâ or âlet them live their livesâ but youâre pointing out a 100% real 100% valid and 100% abused issue in society. People creating empty content using their looks for views because thatâs literally the easiest thing you can do for attention nowadays. And it IS affecting society!
Thanks for making this and finally saying all these things people hav needed to hear but others have been too scared to say, all of it is true.
"you're just jeaolus" or "let them live their lives" are the stupidest comments someone would've made. don't worry. no i'm not going to let them live their lives susan, because it's ruining everything. why do i have to let stupid people live their lives.
âCare about what other people think, and you will always be their prisonerâ - Lao Tzu
Iâve been called ugly since elementary school. No one has ever said I was pretty, much less beautiful. So I knew early on I wasnât attractive.
I am now 54 and have accepted I will never fit conventional beauty standards. I have also stopped caring what other people think. And it has been freeing.
I stopped wasting money on makeup, stopped coloring my gray hair, and I exercise because it makes me feel good.
Stop caring what others think, and love yourself for the individual person you are.
Love this! Wish we could talk about filming strangers for tiktoks too! I am not comfortable being filmed by strangers and I donât think that should be such a radical statement
LITERALLY
Especially children. I can't stand it. I saw a video of a literal child like 4 or 5 being filmed. Was not the parent. It was the parent of another child filming the child for being a "bully".
im on the side of public recording. keep in mind surveillance is almost recording everywhere too. if it is used to just bully people then social media sites have rules against it
@@ProfessorFish firstly the amount of public surveillance is very different depending on the city/country/local laws. Secondly there is a vast difference if you are caught on video and that video is being stored and (maybe) seen by some security/police or if that video is published to the internet where there is absolute no control who or how many people will see it or even manipulate it..
@@ProfessorFish It is absolutely used to bully people. Social media sites absolutely allow it. I reported a TikTok that recorded a little girl acting weird on a playground and they (TikTok) dismissed and said it didn't violate anything. Pretty much, a video of a child which sole purpose is to make fun of them or to shame them is allowed on that platform
TikTok pushed waightloss content to me like crazy! Workouts, diets, before and after compilation and stuff. I never liked those vids, skipped them regularly, and even started to press "do not recommend" and still my feed was full of it. Presumably because I am a young woman. I'm not even overweight.
The weightloss thing is honestly part of why I've steered clear. I've seen enough of it on pinterest and as someone who has a... complicated relationship with their weight it really would've done damage
Actually I think itâs really interesting when things are outdated. Most things arenât meant to be timeless. I think itâs fascinating to see pictures of my mom in clothes that are really outdated. Itâs a little time capsule showing what was popular at the time. The part you made with a little kid asking the mom about that, that doesnât feel embarrassing to me. That feels like a moment that kid gets to see of history. (:
Yeah I think so too. When it comes to these trends, they would just be harmless fun if people didn't spend this much time on social media. But since we spend 7-8 hours on social media daily, it becomes our reality. That's where watching videos of pretty people doing random stuff goes from "enjoying looking at aesthetically pleasing things" to "I wish I looked like them too"
"this is just pretty people knowing they are pretty and seeking validation" - yes! finally, someone said it as it is! And yeah, that is annoying đ
I was hoping you'd talk about those people who train their faces not to move or avoid going outside altogether or drink out of those weird straws all to avoid wrinkles. Because that stuff is like... actually terrifying. And these people look down on people who don't go to extreme lengths to "preserve" their face, as if it's supposed to be normal to do all that stuff.
Hilariously because I'm extremely animated and move my face a lot, possibly far more than most people do. Yet I have no wrinkles (yet) either. It's almost like ... it's genetics? Who would have thought!
@@hagelslag9312 I'd rather enjoy life with wrinkles than sitting or standing still like a statue. All in all, I can't see my own wrinkles, so why should I care?
This just reminds me of the Dr Who episode where the last "pure human" is just a sheet of perfect skin with a face tightly pulled over a frame and misted so she doesn't get dry.
I remember when I was 6 and my step mother told me off for 'pulling that face' while watching a children's movie, because wrinkles. It was another 9 years before anyone realised I was partially deaf and.. Just trying to work out what was being said. I still find myself forcing my face into a relaxed position when I have 'concentration face'.
Like, donât move or live in case someone thinks youâre ugly. No thanks.
I live in L.A. and you see this EVERYWHERE! I think the thing that bothers me the most is how the people making this short form content don't even consider how they are inconveniencing all those around them. I went to a cute coffee shop nearby once and GURLLL I just needed some caffeine in me, but these two very dressed up women kept coming in and out of the shop to get the perfect shot of them walking in, then just completely getting in the way of the drink counter trying to get the perfect photo of grabbing their super AeStHeTiC drink and then hogging the entrance/exit again to get their *effortless* walking out clip. It was very disruptive for the flow of business and just those of us who were trying to get on with our lives.
I seriously believe that if people are using businesses in this way they should have to pay the company, like a filming permit or something
I would have said something very short and snappy with them. No way I would let that go unchecked.
I visited LA a few months ago and I was blown away by how many people do things like this there. It looks so tacky and narcissistic. These people literally block the street to take their useless photos and videos. It is funny how they think they are celebrities and everyone else around them is just annoyed lol.
I would have walken right through their photo Shoot location regardless of what they might have thought. Because it is so annoying blocking the way for customers.
Pregnant and NORMAL postpartum bodies will never be "normalized" by that content and I think that's what really gets to me about it. Even my own friends posting themselves in their wedding dresses less than a year after giving birth... Nope. I tell myself I need to stop being jealous but I still feel worse about myself seeing it. :-|
I know right ! When I see people talking of celebs like, idk, Jen Lawrence I think that was ? And Kim K saying they were fat on pictures where they just gave birth days or weeks before I'm like ...... bruh
Iâm not on TikTok because I found it too addictive, but I have to say I was mesmerized by how beautiful people looked in those clipsâŠand when she showed how contentless and boring those videos were without any sound or music, I was shocked! Definitely made me look at these reels and stuff in a new way
When I see pictures of women's faces with the current makeup style I find it totally plastic and unattractive. It's like a complete mask... and as for fillers, lip pouts etc etc etc I don't get it at all...give me a natural face any time....age spots and all.... even when I was young I wasn't bothered about makeup. I might wear a bit for a job interview, or going to a wedding, but apart from that, almost never. I've never shaved my body hair, (ok I've never had that much, but I've never seen the point) I once had my eyebrows plucked a bit because I was getting married- I regretted it and never did it again - these days I dont even have so much as a lipstick, but then I have the privilege of age.đ
Even though internet beauty standards are more diverse, and we had a whole cultural awakening about how every kind of person can be beautiful in their own way, itâs still a fixation on appearance, which is so shallow.
Outward beauty is irrelevant to having a fulfilling life and meaningful human relationships. Take time to focus on things that matter more.
I agree. Itâs also that diversity seems to be accepted on pretty people most of the time. The ethnic features that were shunned previously and now are praised? Theyâll get a ton of praise and acceptance on a beautiful person, but I rarely if ever see a normal, average looking person without tons of filter and makeup get praised for their ethnic features. Quite frankly I canât even see them, because they arenât shown.
Itâs the same for all other groups too. Fat people, for example? The ones who seem to be chosen are the ones who are fat, but still have a traditionally attractive body, just on a bigger frame. And they always have beautiful faces and are made up to fit the standards.
I feel like thatâs a very toxic message in itself. âItâs fine to have different features, and to look/be a bit uniqueâ is the message, but thereâs this undertone of â⊠but only if youâre conventionally attractive otherwise.â
In truth it doesnât feel like weâre diverting from the beauty standards that much, and as you pointed out, even when we are, weâre still more obsessed about how a person looks than what they add to this world in other qualities.
I don't agree at all that the face standard is diverse, even the plus size models almost always have liposuctioned jawlines and insta face
I have an 8 year old granddaughter and the influence of social media on her sense of self worth terrifies me.
đ„
She is way too young to be on social media in the first place.
@@CatharticCreation I agree with you but socail media influences go so far beyond just social media. Itâs difficult for kids to avoid tv, Netflix, articles, books, advertisements, etc.
Your talk around 19:15 about pretty people in clothes compared to people not conventionally considered attractive makes me think of those tick toks where bigger girls do videos like 'do these outfits look good or is she just skinny?' where they try on clothes & styles skinny people are promoting to see whether they actually good on more average/bigger bodies. And I feel that. The amount of times in a store I see an outfit on a skinny mannequin and then try it out and see that it does not fit my shape always gets me.
This phenomenon is what is known as an 'upward social comparison' in media studies. Consuming content of people we think of as better than us in some way (ex people we think are prettier than us) makes us feel bad about ourselves and makes us want to change ourselves. Spending hours watching tiktoks of pretty people can make you depressed and make you want to buy beauty products/go on a diet/get plastic surgery.
I'm an ugly looking woman, that's kinda a fact, I don't meet any beauty standards set by my American society and social level. You know the last time someone complimented my looks, I was sick with a fever, flushed, and I had lost weight from not eating... it's a gross standard to hold women to...
Anyway, I've had so many people give me unsolicited advice on how I could look better: makeup, weight loss, hair changes, new expensive clothes, diet pills, etc. My main response is "I didn't ask, but thanks." and they get huffy. Oh, I should change everything about myself and lose 100 lbs? What are you, my insurance company denying me a breast reduction? Like, I'm so glad I'm ace and queer and autistic and don't have the need to settle with someone I hate to be perceived as happy. My not ace friends are SHOCKED when I say my 10 year plan doesn't have "get a girlfriend" on it. I'm almost 30, aren't I lonely? No, why would I be? My plans are to travel and be happy. If my happiness includes someone who wants to spend that time with me, great. But it's not a requirement.
If you judge your self-worth on being in a relationship, you'll never be happy. If you aren't confident and happy alone, you won't suddenly be happy and confident in a relationship. If your entire identity is tied to external validation, YOU WILL NEVER BE TRULY HAPPY. :/
Good for you. Sounds like you know what you want and you're happy and that is powerful.
That last paragraph is one of the truest things Iâve ever read.
When I hit menopause I realized how much of my life had been wasted catering to hormones. I knew I never wanted children, and I'm glad that I never folded to peer pressure about that. Children should be created in order to be loved, not to satisfy some sick need for approval.
@@ginacirelli1581 I'm only 26 and getting "you want kids you better start now!" comments and I just say my uterus is malformed so I get pregnant, I will bleed out and die. đ€·đœââïž Seems like people don't like uncomfortable truths...
as another aroace spectrum-ed individual, that's exactly what anti-amatonormativity stands for, you don't need the validation of a romantic/intimate partner to make you happy as there are other ways to fulfill a sense of happiness and those are equally as valid as relationships, relationships are just a good bonus if you're into them. :))
Imo, same goes for appearance, like yeah sure a compliment is fun and all, but to be validated for your appearances is also optional and shouldn't be done to a point where it detriments you more than it benefits you. Not to mention, being healthier and doing things you enjoy is also more important, if styling yourself is one of those things/hobbies that you enjoy, then that's just a bonus, if you aren't into that, there's nothing wrong with it either.
Im from Warsaw but ive been living in America for 10 years now. Vanity is really off putting to me, lately i can't stand being on social media because of it. I get such horrible second hand embarrassment from seeing people brag about their looks. I know its the catholic upbringing. Sometimes I daydream about posting more often, sharing my life...but for who? I'm very confident in the way I look, I'm slowly moving up in life. I really don't see the point in sharing my life with strangers. Karolina's words hit me like a train in this video, I can very much relate.
I don't know if it's the Catholic upbringing... I'm not Catholic nor I had anything close to religion in my upbringing and I still find these trends super uncomfortable and annoying.
To an extent I would say youâre definitely getting angry at the wrong things, like being confident in the way you look and seeing yourself is beautiful is like, a good thing, and we shouldnât try to make people feel like shit about themselves just to try and stop vanity or whatever
Being embarrassed about people bragging about looks might be more of a cultural thing than a religious one. However, I'd say that in terms of Christianity many Protestant movements were very much anti-vanity in their messaging.
It just seems as Europe has made its way from a honor-shame culture (don't be different or you'll be the talk of the town! Don't be odd or you'll put shame to everyone in our lineage!) to a more accepting one (everybody is beautiful in their own way, let people be), some people have taken that as a pass to worship materialism & physical elements like looks. It all ties to money as well: More and more people in the Western world are rich enough to put effort into looks, not to mention how certain products can be relatively cheaper than before. People have been told that wealth & prosperity is the way to go, thus you have to show it in some way. And what better way to show your wealth than that you're up-to-date on the latest fashion trends and that you're part of the in-group of beautiful & prosperous individuals, instead of the out-group who may not have the luxury to alter their looks to fit the current, passing ideals.
@@fishtigress3134 Iâd say thereâs a little more of a reason as to why people desire wealth beyond being told to want it
@@ethangrant8736 lol i never said i get angry. I cringe a lot, sure, but i always remind myself that this stuff brings people joy. As a kid i was bullied to the extent where kids would hit me with sticks, and pull my pants down. so now that im an adult im really proud of the confidence i have. Im just self reflecting on the fact that karolina and i share a lot of feelings and im glad we do both as polish women. âïž peace and love dude
The thing I really hate is the no make up look. I know so many guys who think that the no make up look is girls not wearing make up and calling girls who genuinely don't wear make up ugly. . . Then saying they want a girl who doesn't wear makeup.
Even the most beautiful people change, social media often shows a fleeting "freeze frame" image of beauty, most people won't look like their tik toks on a day to day basis, let alone when they grow older. I feel clinging onto that "perfect" image of oneself will only make you feel inadequate and unhappy, no matter how hard you try to maintain it.
Good point. I'm trying to be accepting of myself
I am 4 months "social media sober" as I like to call it. I went cold turkey in July '22, no facebook or instagram (those were all I had, but I was consuming Twitter and tiktok via those apps, like you mentioned in the beginning). The only "social" apps I use are CZcams (for certain people and silent vlogs), Goodreads (because I read incessantly), and Pinterest (for recipes and home inspiration). Because it's easier to control what I see there & I don't actually interact with people or see political content, I don't consider it "social media" in the way that I did FB or Instagram. I try not to comment on things, but I gotta say this because I'm passionate about it.
I feel like I an reverting to the best version of myself. I am less insecure, less jealous of things/people. My attention span is back & the addiction to my phone is gone. When I am on trips, I take photos for memories, not for instagram. I am literally less depressed and have only had one or two severe depressive episodes since I stopped consuming everything all the time. Before, I had regular breakdowns, often triggered by something I had seen that day. All of a sudden, I felt beautiful again & I believed my husband more when he said I was. I didn't break down inside when I saw women I thought I ought to look like & feel like a failure.
The point: stick it to the man and live a present life with the people you love and hobbies you enjoy. Find pleasure in your work and purpose in the people you serve. Get up in the morning and don't look at your feed, just go brush your hair and teeth, look in the mirror and say something nice, then have a cup of tea while enjoying the body you're in. Give your time to yourself, not to strangers online.
I 100% agree with you! I've started cutting back on Instagram and refuse to open reels, and deleted Facebook. I just checking my Instagram feed to keep up with marriages and baby's and such. And only watch the content I want to on CZcams. I'm much happier and have had so much more time to do the things that are fulfilling not draining.
What kind of books do you read? Another constant reader here who uses goodreads. I mostly read paranormal romance, fantasy, scifi, & classic literature.
I read everything, lol! I don't stick to genres much but I really enjoy classics, literary fiction, memoir, and romance of most kinds! I am a children's librarian so I read a little of everything that comes across my desk or I see at work! Recently I'm loving everything Adrienne Young and Richard Osman's Thursday Murder Club series! My current read is The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrell, also very good so far.
i love that last bit, give your time to yourself not to strangers online
I had a similar epiphany months ago and stopped using social media. Back in August I went on holidays with a friend and we were taking photos. Her first response was "that's the perfect picture to post on Instagram" and it sounded so stupid to me.
I said to her " why should I post my life on the internet?" And then she proceeded to ask me why. Like really? The thought of taking a photo to hold as a dear memory for you alone was so far away from what she considers normal. All I know is that I enjoy those photos more because of the fact that they are private and not blasted online for the world to see.
As an artist, thank you so much for bringing up that posts which show a selfie before the actual art tend to perform better on social media. It is soul-crushing to see someone spending 50+ hours on a piece get totally overshadowed by someone that did a quick sketch of an Arcane character while the first 5 seconds of the vid is just lip syncing to a song before showing the actual art.
Short form content is completely erasing the ability of artists to spend months (or even years) on a piece as artists in the past would have. As the algorithm constantly rewards users who post content more frequently, artists now have to constantly post WIPs, tutorials, personal content, etc., to keep up with the algorithm or placate it by compromising their own art and rushing more pieces in order to produce more content.
Honestly that's probably what has stopped me from posting art altogether. I still enjoy and love making art but I know that I cannot keep up with all the things you have to do to promote your art and get any attention for it at all. I feel like it sucked all the joy out of it, feeling like you constantly had to post or you would become completely irrelevant and noone would care about your work. I also feel like social media makes you feel like you have to fit into a specific niche with your art, if someone is used to you making paintings then you have to stick to that because it's what you're known for. If you try to explore other mediums or draw different subject matter then you start to lose engagement and followers.
And with the rise of AI generated art all of this is going to get worse. Midjourney and Stable Diffusion users will drown Internet in countless amount of very pretty pictures that only take seconds to generate, overshadoving people who put time and effort in their art.
Being a furry artist who doesn't show their face, I've accepted TikTok wasn't built for me.
I think we live in times when it's the easiest and also the hardest (at the same time) to be considered "beautiful" and attractive. The easiest - because we have such a huge array of things to make us "hotter", from new hairstyle, hair dying, skincare, fast fashion, make up and teeth whitening to plastic surgery (and they are all more or less accessible to 1st world people). The hardest - because the beauty standards are getting more and more ridiculous and fast-changing, and we are shown hundreds of perfect, made up people every day, so it's really hard to accept yourself and your flaws when subconsciously you compare yourself to those beautiful attractive people on the internet. I was never really conventionally beautiful, and rarely I feel pretty, so instead I'm trying to focus more on attributes that I can control such as: smelling nice, being stylish, looking unique, being skilled and passionate, leveling up my knowledge/wisdom etc :)
To be honest, male gaze can absolutely be found in women's writing. Since we live in a patriarchal society, the male point of view is very much taught to and absorbed by women, which is why it's very difficult in movies particularly to establish a "female gaze", and why you can find critical and physical description of women's bodies fitting beauty standarts in women's books.
Although the amount of physical description in the 19th century is also very much influenced by physiognomy, which was a pseudo-science that said that people's morals and characters was related to their physical appearance and physical details (not real examples, but just to clarify : if you had a mole on a specific part of your face, you were a thief, or a liar, if you had a low brow, you were dumb, etc etc)
What about women constantly criticizing men, that's just as prevalent in society. They don't have enough money, or they aren't doing enough. They aren't attractive enough or strong enough. They are always told they have no inherent value and they need credentials to be worth anything. If they hold the door open for a woman they're criticized for it but if they don't they're full of themselves and have no manners! It seems to me on large men are criticized much harsher than women. And statistics tend to agree with me.
Rose, People criticize everybody, and everybody has the right to have preferences and all, what matters is just that youâre not judgemental about it or perpetuating an idea that people have to change themselves to be more appealing. Yes, this kind of thing affects all genders, but the effect is different for different genders. The existence of some women harshly criticizing men doesnât debunk the existence of the male gaze, this is just a different topic, and there are other videos you can watch on the topic of the ways these standards affect men too. In my opinion though, I have to say itâs worse for women just because theyâve historically been oppressed and men have always been on top. Not at all to say men canât have problems, they absolutely can and thereâs a time and place for that conversation, but it just seems a little in poor taste to override a conversation about womenâs struggles with âwhat about men?â Yes, men struggle too sometimes, but these are not conflicting arguments and I donât fully understand why you feel the need to bring it up in this specific comment section under this specific thread.
Also though, I promise you that if a man opens the door for a woman, any average woman is not going to have a problem with that. It might happen sometimes in weird cases, but in general thatâs just not an actual common issue in society and if heâs just polite and not weird about it, most women will not have a problem with men holding the door open for them at all. So that last thing feels generalizing and not exactly accurate to me
Iâm fat, Iâm middle aged, and I have a crooked nose, but none of those things were bothering me too muchâŠuntil I spent way too much time watching reels on Instagram and shorts on CZcams. I encountered two things - depression due to feeling like life is shallow and meaningless and that Iâm incredibly ugly and unimportant - and I realized fairly quickly that those unhealthy impressions were from the content I was submitting myself to.
Because Iâm older, Iâve encountered a lot of social media trends. I was on MySpace in my mid-twenties. I started photographing my makeup looks in 2007, right at the beginning of it all. And I can honestly say that the worst thing for me about this fake world weâve created is that we get to interact with content and people on our terms and are spared the discomfort of the mundanity of daily living with the people we see regularly online. No CZcams star is my best friend, yet I get to pretend Iâm having an interaction with this person that doesnât know I exist. This person also gets to create a persona and an aesthetic around themselves that may largely just be artifice, which adds another layer to the synthetic nature of the experience. At the end of all this social media consumption, despite the shared knowledge and benefit, is often a feeling of discontentment and emptiness. I think like a lot of things in modern life, when we divorce ourselves from the discomfort of the common and mundane and work of it all, thereâs an aspect that is lost that is, unfortunately, vital.
Iâm just repeating what youâve said in my own way, but in essence Iâm also saying I agree with you. Itâs nice thereâs someone such as yourself with a platform to be able to say these things. People need to hear them
beautifully said
After reading what you wrote I can't even begin to imagine how you could believe you are somehow 'unimportant'. I feel i could read you all day. It is truly sad how many people, and women, feel undeserving of attention navigating a virtual web that ironically has the potential to connect us all to another level.
I hope you know now that you really are important and, despite not seeing your face, you are beautiful. No matter what you look like, actually.
I would recommend the reading "The Elegance of the Hedgehog". I hope you like it
@@blanqui2040 I really like how you wrote the comment, so nice of you.
@@hansarah4727 i thank you
+
As a person who is not outside of their house much, I genuenely (and sadly) get surprised by how many people who look totally average irl compared to how pretty much everyone that gets shown to you on social media is perfect and rarely deviate from the beauty standard. It messes with your head big time. I really agree with your rant, you said what you said queen
And you rarely, if ever, see the pretty Instagram people in real life because they don't actually exist lol. It's a construct of edits, filters, make-up, and fashions that look good on camera for a short clip but not so much in real life.
@@Kittsuki yep^^
Most of my average female acquaintances only put pics where they look like models online
i think it's the commodification of the self that bothers me so much. it's the idea that certain people deserve more simply because, and also the fact that you simply can't join those ranks unless you intentionally sell some part of yourself. arguably thats how all work works but it being microdosed to you every half an hour just makes it so much worse. we see this in other aspects of online life as well (ie fandom works) but beauty being so trend and genetics reliant makes it worse.
All I want is to be treated like an equal human being even if I'm not conventionally attractive
Omg... I'm not even on tiktok and I noticed this as well (mostly thanks to reels on instagram) - I took is as people becoming increasingly vain and superficial & it both annoys and saddens me (along with making me doubt my own appearance more LOL). You always talk about the right things!!
I remember how 20 years ago people were equally obsessed with being pretty (within "standards" of that time period).
@@cb9825 oh yeah for sure! I just feel like I recently noticed it increasing but that *might* just be me spending more time on social media. đ
@@cb9825 this obsession with beauty has always been around in whichever way was possible at that specific time. I guess that now we see it more clearly is because of social media. You can see what hundreds of people from all around the world do and how they present themselves just by watching their tiktok videos, while in the past ( before social media) you had to walk out and see people or buy some beauty magazine.
I donât think itâs more vanity but fear and the need to feel in control of something. Beauty truly does relate to social and then other types of power. In a world where everyone is increasingly visible on a screen and everyone constantly can see and be compared to curated others, this will lead to more insecurity. So more beauty pressure combined with the billion dollar beauty industry propaganda plus American myth that âyou can do and be anything if you just try hard enoughâ = increased pressure to perform and adhere to âbeautyâ. Itâs all terrifying and depressing.
It is not vanity if they are being paid for it. It is simply marketing and milking the crowd. And yes they make money on likes and views.
It makes you sit back and realize that it's a very sneaky way for a capitalist society to get more money. If you see lots of pretty people in expensive makeup and clothes and start feeling bad about yourself, you start to wonder how you can achieve that dream. And just like you said, you start to reconsider that plastic surgery office you drive past, or start going broke spending money on makeup and fast fashion. It's a classic case of 'create a problem or inflate a problem that already existed, and then sell the solution to it'.
You are so right about image-centric valuations. I remember once being shown a picture of a woman and my "friend" saying something like "she could break up a marriage, she's so beautiful." And I just thought, "but what's her conversation like?" I mean, the reality is that beauty is not everything at the end of the day. The way a person talks or thinks or acts can dramatically effect how we view "attractiveness". And to be so shallow; to equate appearence with value, seems basically wrong.
Agreed! I've been told my fiancé and I are "in different leagues" or whatever, and yeah, I agree, he's in a higher league than me! Oh, you think I'm a higher league because I happen to have a nicely-shaped face? He can carry a conversation and make you feel like he has a real interest in who you are as a person. He can spot someone being manipulative in seconds and how to subtly set boundaries. He has no hobbies and few interests outside of work but by being so interested in you and your life and knowing how to ask the perfect questions and connecting to your ideas, he's far more interesting to talk to than I am. He's in a higher league.
Someone I know exclusively follows influencers over age 60 or so, and she shared that has dramatically improved her self image and her acceptance of aging being, well, literally natural!
The thought process that pretty equals happy is so incredibly pervasive. I once made the comment in a therapy session "I don't know why I put on make up this morning, I'm crying it all off" and the therapist actually said "Because you're getting better, you're taking better care of yourself." I wanted to slap her and scream back "Do you know how long it took me to be comfortable with my bare face??? How long I felt I had to wear make up to hide myself???" I was furious.
What the therapist said is a really old-fashioned view. Doctors used to be taught that women wearing makeup was a sign they were normal, amd if they didnât something was wrong with them. For real.
@@riverAmazonNZ I was not expecting it from her, a woman the same age as me, which was 35 at the time.
â@@milliehaagen7526 Did you tell her how you felt? She obviously didn't understand your viewpoint. For many women, regardless of how they feel about their appearance, putting on make-up is more like "grooming" than hiding insecurities (it can even be both at the same time). It's like when you are depressed and you don't bother to bathe or dress yourself properly but when you start to feel better, you "take better care of yourself". And for me, at least, that included putting on some make-up. Not out of anything other than the idea of wanting to present yourself to the world "put together". Of course make-up is a social standard of grooming but it's not always negative, it can even be neutral, from an emotional standpoint.
I feel this so much! When I was mentally at my lowest, I spent an excessive amount of time doing my make-up and elaborate hairstyles. I did this because I wanted to pretend to the world that I'm fine and have control over my life, even if everything was spiralling out of control. Because of my appearance my former therapist never took me serious. She was a woman my age (mid 20s), but she couldn't wrap her head around that depression has many looks and that hyper-fixation on appearance is a symptom as well.
@@ilyfrost8753 I'm so sorry that you went through that as well. For me not wearing make up isn't about giving up, it's about being comfortable in my own skin.
CZcamsr Lorry Hill does such a great job breaking down beauty standards exposing plastic surgery secrets. She has lifted the veil on how ALMOST ALL celebs look the way they do, and it is not naturally achievable. It was really eye-opening to say the least. I feel like tiktok promotes these standards for young people, but if they really knew what was going on, they would stop comparing themselves.
Ooh, I love her channel
No, Gen Z is already discussing how much plastic surgery is ânormalâ and how much is âtoo muchâ.
Theyâre already lost, they think plastic face fillers and botox and a nosejob are âstandardâ beauty procedures.
@@namedrop721 They are not lost, they are just honest with what they ant TBH.
Finally someone is talking about the concept of vanity. But also, I must confess I experienced the same. The first time I left the house and went for a walk around town after a week of binging tiktok I realised that I wasn't some anomaly or hideous monster. There are a lot of normal looking people around, and that the algorithm was changing my perception of what human beings actually look like.
There's a side to the beauty discourse that doesn't get talked about enough, i.e. the fact that what we call beautiful is the product of a double bias: on the one side yes, we tend to like what everybody else around us likes; but on the other, we keep on liking our own things and not admit it. So it's silly to say that somebody doesn't "fit the beauty standard", because I have absolutely nothing against the Instagram face or body type, but I'm also 100% sure that lots of people don't really find that specific kind of beauty interesting, they're just socially discouraged of expressing a different preference.
I find they all look really odd, not beautiful. There's something uncanny valley about it to me. So I actually feel a bit uncomfortable looking at them. Like the before/after section? I thought they looked better before. Afterwards, they look off. Not quite right. It isn't actually attractive to me. I don't think they look ugly or anything, just disconcerting. Especially with the heavily overdrawn lips they end up looking like pornstar sex dolls come to life. Not like actual real people with interests and personalities and stuff.
While TikTok has helped people find other people who are interested in similar content, those are days long gone. itâs become toxic to the point of being a biohazard. The trends get either stupid or borderline illegal (like that one trend where teenagers were vandalizing their schools). Would we be be better off if TikTok was taken down given how toxic it is.
tiktok is a highly addictive app from china...the same country that limited video game usage to one hour a day on the weekends because they realized their youth were becoming addicted.
they are playing the long game: eating away at american society from the inside, rotting the brains of the youth
I HONESTLY wish Trump would have banned it in the US when he wanted too.
wait wait wait, there's a TREND of vandalising???
@@McJusti Girl youâre living under a rock, that trend was a year ago. Or maybe its still trendy? Who knows
@@McJusti I believe they're talking about the "devious licks" trend that happened about a year ago. Kids were encouraging each other to just straight up steal school property. A lot of soap dispensers went missing.
Ooh, I just saw Mina Le's video about the scam of anti-aging earlier today; really cool to hear your thoughts on the subject too, Karolina!
Body neutrality for the win!!! Recently body neutrality has gotten a name, magazine articles, think pieces and wide range of definitions, but the general idea of taking beauty off the pedestal is something that I've connected with for a long time. I like to think of beauty like a talent of any other kind. Its cool if you have it, sure show it off if you want to, but I wouldn't base my whole self worth on wether I have it or not. I can appreciate and love my body as an important part of myself, my vessel through this world, and the idea of her being beautiful to me, let alone someone else is nowhere near the top of my priorities.
It's amazing to me how ugly some beautiful people can become once you spend any time with them, and how beautiful some people can become once you spend any time with them. I can honestly say some of the most ugly people I've met have been people who looked beautiful until I tried to get to know them.
What you said about pretty privilege been particularly insidious online is so on-point. In physical interactions there are so many factors that add or substract to somebodyâs attractiveness, from how they move, how they eat, their ticks or the pace of their speec. All that is lost online
Exactly, most shorts are about... absolutely nothing, and somehow they get millions of views... Meanwhile we make videos about actual subjects and they're not as near as popular. I'm glad your content is popular as well, you deserve every sub and like! đčâ€ïžâ€ïž Also, I'm glad you're confident in yourself! I used to care about beauty too because I was bullied in middle school. But now I'm a horror artist and I don't care about being beautiful or ugly anymore. As long as I can use my appearance to create the art I want, I'm happy. All the best!
They get millions of views simply because they're so short. They time cost to consume an individual video is nothing, so they add up fast.
I'll be honest, I made some plant videos and humor videos on my TikTok and they've never gotten any traction and it genuinely made me feel bad xD Which is silly to think about. So the BS content others put out under the guise of being humor that get tens of thousands of likes can be discouraging.
I'm 16 and I got tiktok in 2019-2020. I took a break from tiktok just a week ago and realized how much better I felt in general without it. I've deleted it now. Luckily, I've never had any serious issues with my appearance. I cannot imagine how painful it must be for my peers who have more severe insecurities about themselves. Also I've noticed a longer attention span too.
When I had a tiktok account I couldn't even sit through a tv show or a youtube video anymore because I'd get so restless. It was BAD. I am so glad I deleted all those apps and don't let myself watch those short form videos anymore because I think they were doing something really scary to my brain.
This is why I don't have TikTok. That and numerous other reasons. Attention span who?
Thank you for saying all this. I have been feeling for awhile that short form content/tiktok has made us regress when it comes to beauty standards and the way society acts about them.
I used to be more secure but after using tiktok I find myself feeling so self conscious about my age as a woman and Iâm ONLY 27 đ when I was a teen I didnât care what adult women were doing, itâs bizarre how much online spaces openly criticize adult women now and act like theyâre expiring after age 25
I have to periodically take breaks from TikTok. Youâre so right about how mean people can be, itâs actually crazy how nasty they can be over nothing! great video as always
I felt the "we broaden our horizonts of what beauty means... but it's still all about beauty".
As a gender-non comforming person I am so happy that more people like me are beginning to enter the mainstream view... but at the same time as I see it it's a very specific type of nonbinary people.
Slender, mysteriously androgynous with this sort of ethereal beauty vibe... and as someone who likes to lean more masculine I find it a bit disingenuous. Yes we are becoming more open to nonbinary people... only hot nonbinarny people though.
I see this a lot in my specific niche of being genderfluid. There is a lot of tic tocs showing how can own both masc and feminine aesthetics and fully embrace those on days they feel like it- and that's amazing! But at the same time I feel like it can set up a bit of an uncomfortably high standard for genderfluid people that either can't or don't wish to so drastically alter their appearance.
People see this version of minorities that, while great to have, is only a very small section also usually made specifically to be more attractive to potential viewers, but if that's the only version of those minorities they see they will project that on everyone in it.
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I've never used TikTok, but short-form media is quickly overtaking most platforms. You can't seem to escape it no matter where you are.
Man, tiktok is so depressing
It definitely can be. Iâm lucky to only get content of pets or fandoms thatâs not toxic, but the algorithm sure can fuck us up
As someone thatâs currently trying to (unsuccessfully) delete tiktok, it absolutely is. Itâs made my ADHD worse, so, so much worse. I didnât realise how depressed it made me until I reinstalled it after I got my phone fixed. I have a bunch of childcare hashtags blocked and itâs all the content itâs giving me anyway :/ made me realise the algorithm doesnât care, itâs not a person, and itâs never going to âproperly do itâs jobâ. I just canât seem to let it go đ„Č
I only watch pets on tiktok.
It's just vapid, which is kinda probably why it's so appealing- an escape from outside world.
Iâm so glad you made this video. Iâve been worried that I care too much about my looks for a while now and yesterday while I looked in the mirror I convinced myself my face was literally wonky. I kept seeing one eye much further down, almost to my cheek. I walked myself away and out the door to my appointment, but it terrified me. What the fuck is going on? I never thought I was some beauty queen, but Iâve always liked my face just fine. I want to care way waaaaay less about my looks, bc this is ridiculous and I am much more than the space between my eyes and size of my forehead.
The vast majority of people do not have symmetrical faces. So its highly likely there is some difference from one side to the other, but its also entirely normal. If your eyes really are different heights and substantially so then you'll likely have difficulty with binocular vision (your eyes working together). So like issues focusing - if you close one eye what you're looking at will be in focus, if you open both it will look like two images overlapping before your brain tries to recalibrate to make the one image. Can cause what might be otherwise considered "unexplained" fatigue, dizziness, headaches/migraines etc. Tend to find people with binocular vision dysfunction tilt their head a lot as a way to compensate. If that is the case, glasses with prism lenses can help. Even if you otherwise have 20/20 vision.
â@@AlexaFaie I'm so confused on what the point of this comment is. My eyes are fine, buddy. I was just commenting about how excessive exposure to beauty content is messing with my self perception and giving me mild body dysmorphia.
The most beautiful aspect of any person is their character
Agreed
I watched a womenâs art history video and one of the female artists, who painted Marie Antoinette, reminded me so much of you! Her calling card was literally her self portraits because she thought she was pretty and that people liked to commission pretty things from pretty people! The fact even someone as warm, compassionate, intelligent, lovely and beautiful as you can feel dragged down by social media is scary.
Have you seen any of the studies about which people get rescued? Triage at a disaster site is actually influenced by a 'natural bias' to save the pretty genes. I was astonished, disheartened, and started looking for a better conditioner for my hair.
Roxie Poe, your comment just made me laugh out loud. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Oh, thank you! I am so sick of that kind of content being pushed down our throats everywhere, and not even just the "acting" videos that are just people barely lip syncing to a preexisting audio or overacting, but like the whole pressure to look attractive at all times and such
Everything you've said is exactly my thoughts. Sometimes I miss old youtube - I miss seeing genuinely talented people experimenting with original sketches and animation, and it seems to be largely replaced by pretty people doing pretty things, and it's frankly boring. As someone without pretty privilege, it also took a long time for me to feel comfortable with myself, but lately, I've been feeling like an insecure teen all over again in part of beauty reels. I mostly deleted tiktok because it's an overly stimulating app, but the obsession with looking young in any way possible did not help my confidence as im exploring my 30s. I know better than to seek out botox, expensive creams, and questionable vitamins, but man those tiktok and instagram/youtube reels are so psychologically invasive
One thing I have noticed is that whenever I am deeply indulged in any activity I forget about everything else
But yes it's those period of scrolling mindlessly or thinking mindlessly when these things trigger
For me it comes down to comparing yourself with other people, and through the internet we have (at least in theory) the possibility to compare ourselves with the whole world.
Artistic talent, athleticism, musical talent, talent in any craftsmanship. It doesnât stop at the concept of beauty.
Yes. It's a fine line between comparison and inspiration.
Time traveler rants about today's generation's beauty standards.
PRETTY time traveler criticizing the effectiveness of beauty to draw in and keep viewers...
@@guyver441 Women have the right to be pretty.
@@arlene1230 exactly. It was a joke, poking light fun at a CZcamsr I admire and like to watch myself.
@@arlene1230 Sorry, what I meant was women have the right to be pretty without getting hit on. Better?
@@guyver441 sir, what the fuck.
I've been in an on-and-off relationship with Tiktok (currently off) and I noticed how often the algorithm gave me beauty-based content even though I NEVER interacted with it. I only interacted with humour, art, and short film content, but I'd notice how the longer I used the app (both within a day, as well as over several days), that content would peter out and be replaced by makeup transformations or more of this empty beauty content. It's like the app says "No no no, we know what you really want, this is FOR YOU" and just bulldozes you with unwanted content. And I would notice that my body image would be negatively affected by something I didn't even ask for (I'd become self conscious about my soft jawline, or my silhouette, or my head shape even - literally my unchangeable bone structure). The worst was constant content about literal PLASTIC SURGERY and rhinoplasty - things I would NEVER interact with because they make me feel ill just to think about.
If you're reading this, please know that the app doesn't care about you, and doesn't care about what you want from it. It won't give you what you want, but what IT WANTS you to want. And that is disgusting content and disgusting ideas.
Now that Iâm past 30, Iâm having to come to terms with aging. Obsessing over youth and beauty will only make us miserable when we must face the inevitable.
similarly my boyfriend recently joined tiktok and he put his gender in as male- almost immediately he had sexualised content of women. obviously people can post whatever makes them happy and i have no issue with women empowering themselves through their sexuality, but i find it interesting how thatâs CLEARLY the kind of content they push onto men immediately
I feel like the problem is not only obsession with beauty, but also with being perfect in everything.
Thank you so much for mentioning the acting thing đđđ As an actor/theatre person it's so weird to see people applauded online like movie stars for doing the specific tiktok performance quirks (mostly moving their faces as little as possible) that wouldn't hold up past the 30-60 videos they're already struggling to carry. ESPECIALLY when there are so many actual actors, theatremakers, and filmmakers doing really cool stuff with the platform and its unique environment.
I just re-downloaded tiktok the other day and was already getting sucked in. This vid was like a cold shower, thanks.