Hammond, Clarkson and May Fake Stats Compilation
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- čas přidán 20. 04. 2021
- Top Gear and Grand Tour stars saying fake stats and random figure and includes scoreboard compilation section at 2:55. Your welcome Box Inthislap
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Episodes
million pieces Africa
Vietnam vesper
bus protest 6.1
tractor 20.1
ambulance 22.3
p45 takes minutes 19.1
outback brake test 22.2
12.3 toy cars
22.5 news segment
15.1 million horse power
8.8 scoreboard -blocked
11.1
12.1
13.2
15.2
16.4
17.2
22.3 - Komedie
"James, you get -461 points because your ambulance doesn't say "ambulance" on it" -Richard Hammond, while in the background, his ambulance which says "Lo-Cost Nuclear Disposal"
I thought about that
It's also funny because all the letters in AMBULANCE are symmetrical (A,M,U) or could just be rotated to face backwards (B,C,E) except the L and N. So it's like 7/9 of the way there
"The Vespa weighs 940,000 tons"
thats a heavy vespa
is that made from tungsten?
@@hashimina_ lead
@@jeremyfong5684 Tungsten's actually denser than lead
That was my favourite one of them all
“Until this government gets rid of every speed bump. We are all going to die”
- Jeremy Clarkson *whatever year* colourised
He's right you know, along with signposts, speed limits and school zones. Teach the children not to be in the road, don't make everybody driving past the children late
@@johnmccrossan9376 ? think about what ur saying
@@jitt9264 woosh
Speed bumps are bad for the environment as it unnecessarily causes people to brake and accelerate wasting fuel
we should also do something about those busses
3 times the pacific ocean each week?!
“You make up statistics to get printed, and you’ll sound really good.”
Sounds about right nowadays.
The Brexit Party be like
aka the Labour Manifesto
The daily mail
@@seanonraet8327 let's be honest, basically every single media source out there xD
The Remain Campaign be like:*
#FixedIt
I love Jeremy’s dominance in this video.
Jeremy is the king of Top Gear. James and Richard are valued princes (unlike Andrew)
@@evilmario6061like this mans comment if you get the joke
@@brockley5960 i didnt
@@brockley5960 hahahahahah
Hello Olivér
You missed “Did you know in the whole history of TVR there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down” “I’ve heard that.” That ones my favourite 😂
Well technically its true: TVRs don’t break _DOWN_ , they blow *UP!*
That episode had lots of fake statistics....like about the no of tourists visiting stoke every year....and the rare roadworks in Britain....
@@fahadahmad7088 true
@@fahadahmad7088 and when they had a distance to travel in miles and then massively over converted into kilometres 😂
@@paulhenderman4584 yep😂😂😂
The magic of this trio, can never be copied. Something about British humour, and these three crazy personalities, just worked, and made it an enjoyable watch.
What ever those 3 are doing it will be intertaining
English, but otherwise a full 10 points :)
Making up fake stats is literally me when I have no idea what to say in Science Class...
take a course in statisics and you can learn to make up misleading conclusions from real numbers for the right price.
literally
“Scientists have estimated that 18 million fish die every three weeks due to nissan jukes”
@Googleisgay Googleispaedos Let’s see, if I was in a science class, this would probably be how it went:
“uhhh, dr. grordbroad phd, um the certified national international paper of nissan jukes and fish genocide, uhhhh yes, and yes…?”
Just make shit up and sound convincing, that's how bureaucracy works
"You've eaten it"
"Yes I had"
This is the exact moment in which Top Gear peaked.
Valid
James: Jeremy you got.......
Richard: a gear lever in his bottom
His name is HAMMOND
@@mohit4387 his name is Richard Hammond
@@johnhunter7244 you blithering idiot it's Hammond
@@mohit4387 no you
'it's got a million horsepower! and it's invisible...and it has CANNONS'
the deranged look in Hammonds eyes when he says that always kills me
Literally reading your comment as it played
Hehehehe
The scoreboard part is literally how my professors grade me after the exams
May: c o c k
Hammond: I don't even know what I'm saying
Clarkson: *bullshit logic go*
You forgot about the 4 million points James lost in the man with van challenge.
that was a real stat though. the challenge was to tail gate the car. he did not do so. Minus four million was fair
His van is too slow lol
@@spartacus778 well no the real answer was how far away he was to start with as that was the closest he ever was
Its heavy
@n1thmusic229 he was right behind them then they both started off and he never caught up
I am the first to arrive and as you might expect, I’ve done this properly
You‘re literally the third, *Captain Slow...*
There's at least 8,000 comments before yours though
@@anangrycat86 except there's only 9
@@SGC_ it's a video about made up statistics wake up mate
That’s the best first comment on a video... in the world
hammond, clarkson, and may backing away from the finish line for their saftey compilation
"AND ACROSS THE LINEE"
“I’m making it up to make a point”
😂😂😂
Twitter in a nutshell
Jezza saying "Pleeeeeeeeease" and "Sweeeeeet" compilation
Or the trio trying/want to murder kill eachother compilation
@@lewishamilton.f1.44 so, pretty much every challenge then
Not the sweet thing - that and saying Jaaaag were the only things that weren't funny, they were cringe
@@owenlea6505 Jaaaaag was funny the only thing that is cringe is when a 12 year old says dude is that a supra and we can all agree there😂
@@owenlea6505 Kids saying things are "cringe" is unbelievably fucking cringe
I wish you included the clip where Jeremy goes around a track in an old car and goes "I'm up to 190mph now.. 200...210mph"
Merc in Germany?
@@MJ-uk6lu Ford Sierra
Don't call that an "old car" 😢
To answer Jeremy's question in the first clip, it's because safety glass breaks into small pieces with no sharp edges. Regular glass has REALLY sharp edges when shattered
You don't say
"I shouldnt have to suffer because someone might have an Anglia" I agree with James on this.
"100% of the British people would vote for someone who's interested in formula 1"
Former motoring journalist Boris Johnson: Hold my Beer...
Formula 1 Party
I like this Jeremy's way of hyperbolizing everything but making the numbers sound precise along with him saying articles incorrectly and using words like "unbeautiful". I guess he has probably done that 569 million times already.
Lmao
Eleventy million.
how about a fake deaths compilation? James dying in Albania and Jeremy getting eaten by dogs are some that comes to mind
Jeremy got blown up by an Apache in his Lotus Exige test too.
"Fake" we all know James gets resurrected every episode
James ran out of fuel trying to leave Germany and got shot
@@GeneralAeon hi saint
Fun fact: there was 235 times Jeremy clarkson said: “it’s ridiculous” in this video
Alternate title : "Hammond got bullied from the scoreboard by the orang utan and the spaniel"
*Captain Slow
Not so much a compilation of “Fake stats”, more like a compilation of “Scoreboard after cheap car challenges” 😂
cry about it
Basically a "numbers" compilation
I hadn't even realised this was a gag. I knew the 'Hammond scoring -1000' in challenges' was a well known gag, but not this.
So you thought that a vespa actually weighed 94,000 tons?
@@bananasstuff3344 I mean he probably didn’t catch that.... like a lot of this stuff is minor stiff you don’t catch in the moment but so obviously fake
Those handcuffs looked like it came directly out of James’s dungeon.
W a i t
James' _WHAT?_
The "YUUUP!" from Richard at the end really got me
Please never stop making these compilations🤣 we can never let top gear and its humour die
3:57 How did no one laugh at that joke, I missed it myself a few times but it's very funny.
I don’t get it
@@bulbman2564 In 1939 a group of Germans called the National Socialist German Workers Party also tried to see how fast they could drive from Germany to Poland, although they used tanks.
@@wolfgangamadeusmozart8772 Ahh thank you music making man.
It's the little things that make Top Gear the best show... in the world.
Literally just opened the PC to work but this notification came just then
"You just did" Excellent response to Jeremy instead of explaining maths 🤣
Love your channel, bro, keep up good work for us, Top Gear fans!
The compilation we didn’t know we needed
This is hilarious.
I’ve rewatched this video a thousand times.
My favorite TG compilation so far. Well done. Probably a couple more videos worth out there to be rediscovered too I believe.
Sorry but ‘so I score....’
‘ONE..’ always gets me 🤣
"I shouldn't have to suffer because somebody has got an anglia." I love May's humor. It's the kind that just makes me laugh in a way that somehow end in a cough on account of how meaningful it is XD
This reminded me of a caption in a local newspaper where residents complained of teenagers doing 0-60 in 2.5 seconds in the high street
why buy a Veyron when you can have a £500 Corsa that's just as fast
There should be a "top gear maths" compilation
It’s amazing how many Clips you can make
Thanks for leaving in the bit of Hammond eating the results, that never gets old lol
6:32 unreal delivery
Oh man this makes me miss the golden age of Top Gear so much
I love everytime he adds million to his insane numbers
I really like these compilations. I recently subscribed, I'm wondering if you could do a Hammond, Clarkson, & May "Immediately (or Suddenly), there was a problem" compilation.
At exactly 4 minutes to 9 pm (GMT+7) I commented on this video
About 37 minutes ago
with or without daylight saving?
@@cvspvr without
There is literally a compilation for anything these guys do and it’s so fun
Lol this is a good compilation mate
If there is a video title, you can make a top gear compilation about it. Love it 🤣
“If its one or more its an issue” he said that with such genuine concern lmao we love james
"Well yes, I'm making it up but I'm making it up to make the point"😂
The amount of people who actually use this logic irl and online is enormous
The BBC used to make 100 trillion dollars an episode from this show and they went and fucked it all up.
This and the show with the Blue Box.
Aaaand because of that it iiiiis…naught!
Best one yet 😂😂
I love the scoreboard compilation you added as well.
Minus 1000 is hilarious
This are so fun to watch
The most common question in these segments is “is it?”
“We don’t make the rules, Hammond”
(Yeah, we do)
"If it's one or more, it's a problem" ~james may, my new favorite quote
Love these lads
Clarkson while doing Rally Cross on TG:
“The number of people killed on a golf course last year was... well, nobody knows but it’s MANY MANY PEOPLE”
This is basically the entirety of the classic British sports car episode
It’s called hyperbole, it’s what the public don’t understand about clarksons columns!
We need part 2!
We need a Richard Hammond calling Jezza a orangutan compilation 😂
Do a Jeremy Clarkson's "Let's not get bugged down by ..." compilation
Bogged*
He's done it: czcams.com/video/vq4Z8TNV734/video.html
i often wonder how long it took for them to realise the lightning in the bottle they had with this
i like to watch it as a time capsule a lot too
"It has a top speed, and I know this because I've done it, of 1 MILLION miles per hour. A million!"
I just love it😂
How is there 8 minutes of this
It’s beautiful
1:16 "if it's one or more it's definetly an issue"
Did James just back up Jeremy??
😂😂😂
Honestly though the first one does make sense. It’s not safety glass if it’s in a million small pieces flying around in an accident. It’s better off being a few big pieces or something
And there was jezzas CZcams video in the sierra cosworth " ...and coming upto 200 miles an hour...."
you have missed the Van challange, where May got -4 million points. That is the best scoreboard moment lol
You need to do a wot compilation!!! I need that in my life!!
2:55 The police one is the most obvious one XD
The speed section - lose 1 point for every second slower than the Stig's time
Stig did 1.48 (1 minute 48 seconds)
Hammond wrote - 72 (1 minute 12) which would add to a time of 3 minutes flat
But Hammond did a 3.14 in that challenge (86 seconds slower than the Stig) so he should have put minus 86.
Actual scores should have been:
179 for Clarkson
165 for Hamond
Clarkson should have won The Police Car Challenge
Ah, did you consider the boxes hammond crashed into?
@@Isaackariuki775 that was worth 1 point lol. The fact is Hammond's scoring was incorrect and was higher than it should've been
This is elementary school type of debate during breaks lmao... Brings back great memories
I could always see Hammond being a doctor for dr who tbh
Because he looked like David Tennant in these series
@@crashfan9997 true tbh lol
I really do miss these three....
The three greatest car presenters noone will be able to fill these legends shoes.
I was watching this video and suddenly there was new Pixel 5 in front of me! Absolute magic! 😯🧙♂️
Technically, Jezza's statement that it takes 'minutes' to modify his P45 for indoors wasn't a lie.
7:50 such a confident "yup"
Oh gosh, the ambulance special was hilarious. I still lose it with Hammonds air powered ejection delivery system.
"buses kill 48 badgers a week"
clarkson would love buses these days i reckon
7:11 "that's absolutely remarkable" 😅
Maybe a Clarkson, Hammond and May scoreboard compilation?
The best of all of these was the Porsche cars one where Jeremy beats them by turning his Pasha 928 into a living room seat set, followed closely by the one James won by unboxing his car on the internet which was actually a great insight.
Add Jeremy winning extremely cheap (£100) car challenge simply because his Volvo costs £1.
Jeremy: Why did I get that?
James: You just did!
3:20 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS
I wonder how you find out who was in the audience lol, they should do a throwback documentary for the last season of the grand tour interviewing the audience
Funniest show on Earth, change my mind.
Mr. Bean is a potential candidate.
Yup have never had sooooo much fun watching these lads
1:10
"What you do is making that up"
"Yes, but making a point, as Well"
Lol this reminds of of how the IMDB does there reviews.
The last few seconds just described ambulances anyway.
best channel
“What you’re doing is making that up”
alright lads welcome back to bottom gear