How to be NONCHALANT with BALANCE
Vložit
- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- Nonchalance as a self-mastery technique, is not about caring or not caring. It’s about feeling light and good, inside and out, as often as possible, so every interaction we face can be experienced at its highest potential, with the least amount of energy needed.
Balanced nonchalance flows between soft + sharp without going to the extremes.
Too Sharp: vendetta, passive aggressiveness, overly serious, resentment, superiority - lots of energy.
Too Soft: people-pleasing, overthinking, overtalking, nervously mute - lots of energy.
NONCHALANCE: 'I know and it’s all good, I see and it’s all good. I don’t need to exert my energy or dip into negativity on these matters.'
0:00 Introduction
0:59 What is 'Nonchalant Energy'?
1:34 Breakdown
4:46 Example A
5:53 Example B
6:39 Example C
7:48 Example D
9:51 Summary + Tips
12:39 Conclusion
CONNECT:
Book Coaching - shop.beacons.ai/niu.views/Ene...
Get an Energy Reading - shop.beacons.ai/niu.views/Ene...
MediVibe playlist - spoti.fi/3Teaxtp
Website - beacons.ai/niu.views
Instagram (join my channel) - / niu.views
TikTok (join my lives) - / niu.views
CZcams - / niuviews
Spotify Podcast - spoti.fi/3DhqyoB
Apple Podcast - apple.co/3K4olPe
Livestream Replays - shop.arielniuviews.com/pages/...
Partnerships/Inquiries - arielniu@viralnationtalent.com
ABOUT:
My name is Ariel Niu, I create content on conscious human interactions. I give examples on social cues and techniques, and I share ideas on how everything and everyone is connected. Since 2018, I have been practicing using my own inner state to change outer experiences and people. I love creating content about human connections, and I am grateful and excited to help those who resonate with my messages.
#communicationskills #emotionalintelligence #selfmastery #relationships #lifehacks #confidence #socialskills #publicspeaking #socialanxiety #niuviews
I am still working on audio and volume lol it's only getting better and easier :')
Book Coaching with me - shop.arielniuviews.com/products/coaching-with-energy-reading
Get an Energy Reading - shop.arielniuviews.com/products/energy-reading-video
Your tips so practical. It's not just tips, it's real life experiences. That's what I love about your coaching.
This is the kind of social intelligence that comes from knowing thyself 🙏
Growing into my authentic self. Once I cut out people pleasing, I’ve realized I am nonchalantly balanced naturally… when I feel the need to please others or shelter myself I become unbalanced.
As a triple air sign, these tips have been very useful to implement and also help make sense to some of my situational temperaments.
Ariel, could you make a video on how to stay balanced and conserve your social energy while working a customer service job or just dealing with customers/clients? I've utilized the tips you offer and they've changed me so dramatically for the better, but I find it so hard not to exhaust myself and fall into a state of inferiority when serving customers at my job (where I'm kind of supposed to be in an inferior position to the customers because it's my job to serve them). I get really nervous around intimidating customers and I think sometimes they can sense my nervous, off-balance energy.
Your videos have genuinely changed me, thank you so much :)
I'm not nearly as knowledgeable as this person, but I would like to share my theory (I can't try it out myself). Unless you've found a video already, in which case, share?
Since you're falling into a state of inferiority, maybe you should try to compensate it with trying to get into a state of superiority. Not on a literal basis, but on a rational basis (if that make sense). I can't explain it better right now, so I'll just give you a few examples.
- Instead of thinking that it is your job to serve them, think that you're choosing to serve them. Yes, it is your duty to serve them because it is your job, but it's a job you chose to stay at (I know sometimes we get into jobs we don't like for major reasons, but try to believe it still, talk to yourself about it).
- Think of your own service as an act of kindness. On customer service you have to show a good face, but bad impressions are far more memorable than good ones, which means you shouldn't put so much effort on making a good impression anyways (people will notice when you're trying too hard). As customer, the best services I've received are simple, straightforward, where I get my answer right away and where the person has shown patience when I didn't understand anything. So as long as you're getting involved and answer properly, I don't think you need more.
In summary, instead of being intimidated by them, try to remind yourself that THEY are the ones in an unbalanced energy and feel sorry, pity and/or compassion for them.
Might sound safe entitled or something, but this is happening inside your mind and people can't hear it anyways. Sometimes, tricking our own hearts is the only way.
This is intelligence! I'm so happy your content came to me ☺️
I have been a practicing Stoic for quite some time now, and oddly enough I have only recently thought about acting nonchalantly about life. Perhaps that is an indication that I have been doing wrong, or perhaps this is merely the next stage of that journey. Either way, I was very happy to have found your video. Lots of great advice. Thank you.
Wow this is great. I feel like topics like this aren’t discussed. NOONE I know talks about stuff like this
Your work is masterfully nuanced, empathy at an extremely high level. Tapping right in 👏
what works for me i get better reaction from people is i talk to them like they are a baby or a friend or a parent but without being obvious i am doing so, and keep a generally respectful vibe, sometimes i deliberately make myself more awkward sounding to try to put at ease the other person but it usually works. what usually doesn't work for me is talking to people in a mean tone, for some people aggression works it's how they manipulate people but for me it's never worked very much.
but i am not aiming to manipulate people. just to mainly have positive interactions to have less resistance we rely on others to some extent.
also it gives people less reason to slander and libel me behind my back if they never seen me even be the slightest amount aggressive. sometimes people want to discriminate and looking for that opportunity that little moment of the victim being aggressive to then justify in their own minds the discrimination. so that is another perk of the route i take. i actually risen intoa decent job from this methods, but i eventually threw it away and fell back into the mediocre range of jobs within my profession.
brooo i love your videos they help me so much when im at work and not sure what to do😮💨🙏🏼
Just found your channel a few days ago and it’s been such a great experience to learn more about balancing. Thank you for what you do :)
anytime, i just say “comfort” inaudibly n just feel a lil more comfortable or other times I use “easy girl” to take things easy..
both almost work the same
but i prefer one over other depending on the situation c:
This is amazing. I really like how you explained the combination of sharp and soft and how the energy behind our words works during conversation. I want to have better conversations with my friends and I think this will really help.
your content always hits
Thank you so much, for your wisdom & your realness. You’re such a breath of fresh air ❤️✨
Girl ur hair is fabulous omfg
As someone with multiple complex chronic illnesses I find myself still wanting to be a people pleaser and I think even more so now that I now have many limitations and feel as though I have nothing to offer. So I feel like I overcompensate by being in my “soft” wayy too much.
This has caused people to think I’m not really “sick” or have a lot more energy than I say I do.
So thank you for this content. Really gives a different perspective
Thank you soooo much ❤❤❤❤
Very insightful
Love your content topics! Good to know many others resonate with the notion of eye-level energy and how that affects our day to day communication with others. As a chronic people pleaser it's not easy to shift the energy but I shall keep practicing ❤ love yout MediVibe playlist too. Thanks for sharing 🙏
Thank you so much ♥️ and love how you’re medivibing!!!
Could you make a video about how to check in with yourself before making commitments to other people? I often find myself over committed and frustrated that I didn’t see it coming that I would be overwhelmed, simply because I was so eager to do the thing or participate, which leads to a lot of guilt when I need to cancel or rearrange plans.
How about, "We have to see things from a Niu view"? Lol
Keep up the good work..and you're so sweet.
Fun to watch this channel evolve and get more refined.
One thing I wonder about: is the purpose of being nonchalant to please yourself or others? I liked how you talked about feeling unauthentic with others. I've been there lots... I find the secret is to not care what anybody thinks of you. No matter what.
It's both. When we please ourselves with confidence and grace, it pleases others to see. When we please others, we please ourselves. In your act of being authentic with others - doesn't it also include them seeing you in your authenticity? We live in a world of relationships, everything is connected and interconnected and people are mirrors and reflections of us. So it's very difficult to 'not care about what anybody thinks of you' - that's why it's balance. You care and don't care. You do you AND you observe your surroundings and feedback, and you decide whether that feedback is helpful.
@@ArielNiuViews this is a really lovely , highly nuanced response , ariel ... thank you -- i really enjoy your ability to find nuance where so many others are happy to just run where the road is already paved ! ... yes , nuance & nonchalance ! -- w / love & gratitude -- mark - in - northern - california - w / heart - space - open
That haircut looks cute on you...
From Mars indeed
❤❤❤❤❤
I need this Ariel, im so glad i found your IG account and then your channel