The WORST Thing That's Happened on a Cruise Ship w/ Tim Dillon | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Highlight
Vložit
- čas přidán 12. 06. 2023
- Highlight From Episode 189: • Plus-Size Accommodatio...
Tom and Tim talk about their hatred for cruises, some personal experiences and Tim reveals what a crew member said was the “darkest” thing to ever happen on the ship.
ymhstudios.com/
store.ymhstudios.com/ - Komedie
Havent seen Tom in a bit. Dude is in phenomenal shape, what a transformation.
he's actually pretty good looking now that he's less waterlogged
@@CzolgoszWorkinManall the plastic surgery on the face is a bit much. What grown man gets lip fillers?
Should he be making obese jokes about people on cruises though?? 🤔
@@WillowGTIyes he should
@@WillowGTI yes he absolutely should, considering he used to be a fat guy.
This dude Tim Dillon has me cracking up in my garage, alone while smoking weed. Fuckin hilarious
oh I found out watching tim dillon on edibles is great since his comedy is so insightful and smart and hillarious it just hits different on edibles man
“How many third worlders on this ship you could blame “ I’m crying😂
That comment was truly glorious. Properly laughed out loud at that lol
Everyone hates on cruises until they realize it's cheaper than sending your folks to a home. And easier to convince them to go.
Genius omg!
This guy needs to write a book
The car ride home goes to the old folk's home.
Nothing more true than that. Assistant living my ass, it’s truly cheaper to cruse
Cruise
Lol my mom's a cruise ship lover and I'm about to play this video when she's locked in my car during a drive.
What was her reaction? Lol
Tom's getting in better and better shape. Love it! 💪😘
I just bought this book and Tom's. I love my comedians, you make life so much better.
Cruises
"Cruises are heinous, and the people who enjoy them are......ANIMALS!" - Tim Dillon
The kind of thing animals like Burnt Kreischer love to do, and will spend the next 7 years of his life doing
If you two did a weekly podcast together everyone would watch….❤
this. yes.
I would love that or Tim Dillion and Bill Burr. Those two ranting to each other would be amazing
Too good lol
tom does a good job in guiding crazy people.
@@KimboKG14 i think your exactly right. One of his best talents
Recently I went to a circus held in a small country town in the South. The people I witnessed there was wild. Its like, I never see these people at the store or anything. They just came out from under their rock for this event.
This is what I imagine a cruise to be on but you have no chance of getting away.
travelers.
I did the booze in water bottles trick in college. They shake the bottles and they bubble more than water :(. They confiscated $200 worth of alcohol real quick
Thanks to woke cancer we can't know if "they" was one person.
@@jamesclark6487 He wrote "shake", not "shakes", so we know that he meant it in the plural.
The ironic thing is that it would have actually only been one person shaking his bottles but it doesn't make a difference to you. Where are all the anti-woke when people omit pronouns and say things like "Love this." and "Was just about to say that."? Huh? Why am I the only one frustrated by that failure of pronoun usage when some right-wingers make the preservation of pronouns their entire identity?
@@jamesclark6487 lol, I'm no liberal. But you're crazy to just jump to right-wing conclusions like that. Grow up
@@jamesclark6487go touch grass
@@jamesclark6487It’s sad shit like that lives in your head rent free 24/7. Seek help.
There is nothing worse about being an American than manufactured fun and going on a cruise completely embodies that concept. Disneyland is a close second. Prom is third.
Baby showers are up there somewhere.
@@Goawaypleasenow until you find destruction videos with tannerite.
I need Tim, Yannis, Tom and Alex Jones for 3 hours talking about the luxury cruise industry.
Then the split second Alex Jones starts talking about the moon landing, Eddie bravo comes flying through head first through the the drywall like a fucking missile and barrel rolls into a spare chair and starts going
I worked on cruise ships for over 15 years.. I have stories.
Do a CZcams channel
Be sure not to mention one here! Wtff?
Last cruise i went on we brought with us a bunch cartridges for weeds pens, couple 8 balls and 10 tabs of acid. Dropped acid with some banker who was there with his wife and kids and needed a break. It was fun
hah you made that guys trip for sure
These are the stories that nourish my faith in humanity. Props to the banker guy for tripping with you.
That guy will remember you for the rest of his life ✌️
You and the banker sound like real winers🏆
@@rocknroller77 You sound like a real buzzkill there Karen.
The cruise ships are registered in the Philippines for regulatory and tax reasons. They also hire the vast majority of staff from the Philippines for the same reason (exploitation and legal loopholes).
Most are registered in the Bahamas and panama
Tim calling a group of people animals is soooooo ironic 😂
I'm going on a cruise for the first time in 2 days and I now want to stay home more than ever.
Don't let these charlatans dissuade you, lol
Fuck that!!! Go! Your not a millionaire like these two. As long as you yourself are a good time.. then cruises are a fucking blast!
Tom and Tim are literally the biggest nay sayer bummers in the industry...lol You'll have a great time!
I hated it. Trapped with rats
@@PervertedPodcastjust like a selfish boomer to ignore what others say about you
Tom and Tim doing the news is what I will pay money for.
I kinda wanna do a cruise now just to see/experience this
Clerline! I can't...😂😂😂
I’m sold on Tim replacing Bert
The buffets on my last cruise were substandard, even for buffets.
i remember being in my 20s and did a girls trip cruise.. at dinner i ordered a caeser salad to start and a tomato bisque soup for my dinner- the entire table went ballistic and was like “ i order 3 appetizers and two entrees and two desserts.. you know its free right!!?!” .. and i was just thinking to myself yes i know its FREE but i am NOT A GARBAGE PERSON and I CANT EAT ANYMORE!!! i never went on a cruise again.. yuck
I went to an buffet in Vegas once and there was a young boy about 250 pounds eating a bowl of literally everything in the buffet overspilling his plate...with his dad scooping a huge bowl of ice-cream in to his mouth at the same time. I hardly ate a thing I felt so sick seeing it! 🥴
I love cruises! Best type of vacation
Cruises. Ugh. Herd mentality. When I visited Venice this was so bad. Hoards of demented people that swarm the city to stuff themselves and look at the most generic and superficial stuff.
I wish I was rich enough to judge people like them.
Cruises are affordable and fun, sorry I'm too poor to hate them.
The Random Access Memories Vinyl distracted me from the comedy
Tim should do the cruise gig dressed like l Ron Hubbard in his captains uniform
When Tom said "I think she got off"
The LAST thing I thought I'd see when opening this video was a freaking Briermere Farms hat!
That book; couldn't agree more.
Took what they could and left nothing for the next.
Dude never have i laughed and farted so hard and at the same time
I wanna go on a cruise now.
These guys have great chemistry! Cruises are garbage; even the so-called luxury liners are trailer parks at sea 🤮
I wish I could draw a cover for Tim!!!!!
Is Bert still a part of this podcast?
I was a seaman for 12 years and it needs to be read into the record that merchant seamen detest cruise ships and nobody who’s cool would ever stoop to working deck department as an AB on one of them. Seamen refer to cruise ship passengers as “cargo that complains”. If for some reason I wanted to go on a sea voyage as a passenger I’d get a cabin on a freighter such as a container ship perhaps where I would be the only passenger living with a crew of perhaps 22.
i lost it at "military rations" AHAHAH
Tim just doesn’t give a fuck and I’m here for all of it
I worked as a musician on cruise ships for years. It is true that the people who vacation on them are some of the worst humans in the world. It's wild. I met my husband on one and we used to go perch up on upper level decks with a drink and just watch these sloppy, trashy crazies do the most insane shit in absolute awe. Best entertainment. A little anecdote people don't realize... every ship has both and morgue (old people die a LOT of vacation!) and a padded room to toss belligerent drunks into. Both were usually positioned very weirdly close to the employee laundry room.
idk man, as a kid me and my family had a rly good time on a few diff short cruises, its all they could afford and they wanted to do something for their kids and themselves, some people don't have the money or time to plan something out more extravagant or authentic feeling I guess. But as I get older I totally understand why people think they're stupid or silly.
My buddy used to say that cruises are the Walmart of vacations. That includes the people. Just charter a yacht in the Caribbean.
“A Supposedly Fun Thing that I’ll Never Do Again” by David Foster Wallace.
Yo. I did my first cruise this Spring. Can someone please tell me wtf is everyone’s obsession with the ice cream machines? I mean I’d watch grown men turn into madmen and legitimately make plans to get the ice cream when it’s out.
I think it’s the ability to gorge themselves
they do have waffles
I’d love to be able to just pick vacation purely on exactly how I want the trip to go. I love when these people act like they’ve had money their whole life. Like taking a Caribbean cruise when I live in Florida is the same cost as paying for flights and staying at a resort. I’m sorry but cruising is the best bang for your buck with entertainment, food, and service. It’s the only affordable way we’re able to take a trip to Italy next year. I could not pay 10 days of a hotel + all meals + tickets for everything you want to do. So a cruise works for those of us that aren’t millionaires…
Yeah, us disgusting peasants should be ashamed of ourselves.
@@shortlivedglory3314 You know how you can be on an airplane and think “That baby won’t stop crying, It is annoying, I wish it wasn’t allowed on”? That’s how Dillon and Segura feel about all of us. We are babies to them, not fully functioning or cognizant and our existence serves as a point of aggravation for them.
Most buffet cruise food is definitely cooked on the cruise and also you get what you pay for 😂
Fucking aye, the description of boomer parents on here is spot on, it’s scary how well the stereotype lives up to itself across the board. All of my boomer grandparents were EXACTLY as described by Tim (from the perspective of somebody born in 92). Side not, most boomers I know justify any wrong doing with their service in Vietnam, which was a nasty fucked up war, worthy of note. To be fair these newer generations can’t relate to that, so there’s a lack of understanding there.
I would go on a cruise that has a weed buffet
Dillon has not been on many cruises it appears. A lot of cruise ship port all around the world where you can get off and check out cities for hrs
He worked on a cruise ship as a comedian.
I love a cruise, but I am a basically a binge-eating hillbilly
WALL-E but on a Cruise Ship
Never been on a cruise cuz it never sounds appealing.. after hearing this I’m definitely not!
My parents love cruises. I tell you it’s a sickness. They can’t get enough of them. And the amount of money they spend on these trips astonish me. They love to eat and go on these “ excursions.” When I ask them why don’t they just rent a house for a month in let say Ireland - rent a car and explore- I get a blank stare and the look of disgust. It all comes down to eating a S- load of food, going to these themed nights and hanging around 2000 plus strangers. Plus eating more food. Lol. Sounds like a prison to me.
Huge fan of both of these guys. Legends. But what is wrong with Tim's face? No hate, honest question.
My dad is such a boomer that he went on vacations without me and always told me he would take me somewhere. But hey I had the house to myself and fucked in every room of the house.
same. but also went on vacations.
Daddy issues
Bert Lost his food?
Acapulco and Gavin McLeod, a perfect day.
I have no desire to ever go on a cruise.
I HATE the idea of cruises. They scare…me being stuck in the middle of the ocean & you can’t escape & what if the weather is bad? It’s a cesspool! My mother went on 2 cruises & she got food poisoning on both of them & had really bad weather on one to where they were confined to the cabin. ABSOLUTELY NOT
Clurlene is such a fantastic southern lady name
Damn I wish I grew up rich af in the 90s😅
i'm 24 ,i recently went on a cruise with my gf, honestly it's alright if you know what to expect, i got a deal $1000 per person.For $1000 i got to see a few caribbean islands, buffet food ,free entertainment on the cruise live music, shows etc.Thats great if you are on a budget.
i gained 12lbs on my first cruise in one week. the 2nd one i gained 8. and i havent been back since ha
One of those things I have no desire to do. I'm sure I'm not alone in hating the idea of being trapped on a huge boat with shitloads of strangers. "But they stop at different ports and let you explore the area". Fuck that time limit shit
“That’s a fuckin cool guy”
Tom's looking well
CRUUISES ARE CHEAP WHAT?????????? MY LIFE IS A LIE
Tbh when you’re dirt poor while a cruise is not ideal it is a great way to take a cheap vacation
Burt lost his foot!?
number one hahahah
🍪 🏆
Went on royal and it was fun not worth the money, you have the buffet food wasn’t made with love, all just made and put out, the dinner was all frozen food what ever you pick on the menu you couldn’t add or take off certain things because it’s frozen food… like Tim said just fly to a place, cause it is all just bought out places by the Cruze lines by the 7th day you’ve walked the boat 20x over and you just want to get back home, meet some people to pass time but docking I get off for 2 hours go back to the boat cause I don’t need to buy anything at the beach… not worth it for me… I’d rather go hitchhiking
I work in a hotel, similar customer service I imagine, and I'm just honest with ppl. I'll fix whatever you need until you're an asshole then you can figure it out. I'm not getting fired or wrote up for a bad review
I love a cruise. If you’re a cheap pos like myself it’s the best vacay money can buy.
Was looking for a name for a big fat Guinea Pig... Clurlene it is!
Pick a good ship on Virgin or Royal Caribbean lol it's the easiest way to travel to places if you're nervous about leaving the country. Don't let these dudes talk you out of it. You get what you pay for though so don't go cheap!
As someone who worked on a cruise ship, the people on the cruises are terrible and nasty.
THE TOM AND TIM SHOW! Instead of the hot garbage, Bert. He needs to go yo!
Cruises aren’t bad it really depends what you’re really going on for. I’ve just noticed a shit ton of CZcamsrs lately filming the same exact content lol
Out with Bart in with Tim and anybody else
It's not right that you can't bring your own food and alcohol on a cruise. You're crossing the ocean. You should be allowed to bring your own supplies.
If they had caught me with thats food, and for some weird reason
mf Tom start workin out for a week start throwing around terms like "caloric surplus" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dude Tom looks great probably for that reason 😂
Yooo me too 🤣
The people that enjoy them um animals😅😂
Tbh I just like hanging out on a big ol boat where they serve alcohol and have buffets 24/7 with really good food. I took a good cruise tho.
Tim hates cruises
Has Tim seen or heard himself before?
Tim's impression of a fat person, is just him talking loudly
Soft flex with Random Access Memories just casually chilling on YMH podcast nothing weird about this at all.
They let the guest pick an album from the collection to put on the wall for each podcast
Why would that be a flex?? I don't think you know what that word means loll
Just did a cruise and I will never do another. Weird ass people on them, at breakfast, all the people would have these boxes of pills … did u take ur pills…u got my pills…
Oh the horror forced to go on cruises. poor wittle baby
Generational traumas to the 🌙
RC was nice until some gross man turned his head, while he and myself, and others were standing in the pool and spit. He spit into the pool. We loved some of the stops, however, I don’t want to stand in someone’s spit. We all got off the ship with a horrible case of Covid.
Book title is 'tarded.
I wonder if he wrote this book. He didn't talk about how he had a book coming out until it was done.
He would be the kind of person to let us know he is writing a book lol
Comes out in October
I love how Tom is such a scumbag he only thinks you deserve time in prison for murder if you break and fess up
For someone who watches comedy podcasts, you sure are terrible at identifying jokes.
Bill burr has the right idea......sink em
I don’t get all this hate on boomers. My parents were boomers and were nothing like the boomer stereotypes. My friends’ parents also weren’t like this. Maybe it’s regional? I was raised in a very conservative place. The culture was traditionalist Christian. Maybe that tradition provided some cross-generational cultural stability? My values and worldview are essentially the same as my parents and grandparents. My parents never bought into the hippie counter-culture as young people. Maybe that’s the difference.
People like to blame others for their problems
Boomers did the best they could with the knowledge they had.
Capitalism owns. FUCK GEN Z