r/AmITheA**hole For Sending Cops To My Sister's Wedding?
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 3. 06. 2021
- r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's mother tragically died many years ago. OP has her mother's necklace as a keepsake. When OP's stepsister sees the necklace, she asks OP if she can wear it during her wedding. OP refuses and hides the necklace in her house, but somehow her sister finds the necklace and steals it! When OP finds out that her late mother's necklace has been stolen, she sends the cops to her stepsister's wedding to get it back! Is OP the butthole for ruining her stepsister's wedding by sending in the cops?
đ r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? âą r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
linktr.ee/rslash
#reddit #AmITheButthole #funnyredditposts
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
I admit it, I was wrong about the wedding dress!
She did ask for an honest opinion, and I kinda ignored that part.
Hey rSlash. At 12:48 your editors/advisors comments are visible for a split second. They were wrong.
Yeah you were. ESH is good but I find it so weird that op said honestly and his wife didn't like what she asked. I was even thought of NTA
I demand a retraction video lol
Thereâs a little more to the wedding dress... she apparently spent 3500 or something on it... with ops money... and didnât tell him... itâs in a later post.
Hahahaha I listened to this video a few hours ago and I didn't get to look at the comments. Just came back to look at them and see this. †Good on you for always being able to recognize when you have a bad take
This cannot be a healthy relationship if you block your fiancĂ©âs number over an opinion that you asked for
you got that right!
and that has been their biggest argument! now immagine something mayor along their marriage
Yup exactly what I was thinking, like goddamn you that insecure about your relationship and yourself that 1 honest answer makes you block your fiancée wtf
I agree with ESH. He didn't want it, but he came out as inconsiderate. I'd probably say like, "it looks waaay different than I imagined it because of the theme, but you'll really stand out as a bride so it seems fitting, and you'll look beautiful in any dress as long as you like it" or something. I mean, you aren't the one wearing it so as long as it's not straight up insulting, I'd say just go with it.
Exactly this! How dare she ask for an honest opinion and then blame her husband just because he didn't say what she wanted to hear! If you don't want to know the truth, then don't ask! It's not as if OP just came out and said he didn't like it completely unsolicited. Sure, maybe he could have been a bit more tactful with HOW he said it, but I don't think for a second that there was a problem with WHAT he said since she insisted he told her the truth. She sucks for blocking him as if she was a teenager having a little tantrum.
but most women never really wanted truth,they just wanted to be always praised and treated like a goddess.if it means other people must always lie to them,then that's how it will be,or that person speaking ill truth would be an AH or the most evil person in all multiverse.this is the very reason most women just lie and are fake to each other because that how most women are.not to mention most women expect other people to be psychic,like they'll be saying something and wanted other people to just know that there's something else they want,even though what they want is so very very different from what they had said.then,most women claims all men are dogs because they always lie,like it isn't really what these most women like,be praised so much with lies and could never take the truth...
To the girl that had been gifted the XS dress, take it and re-sell as new. Easy money
Be like 'yeah this motivated me... motivated me to start seeing what else I can sell to make money!'
@@castielnovak9433 and what I found was competitive eating...
Exactly what I was thinking.
Maybe something better.
Like burning it in a fire place in front of her.(if she has one ofc.đ )
@@cristelromeave7414 and. No cake for you!! F.u. stepmom
Personally, if I were to ask my fiancĂ© what he HONESTLY thought of my wedding dress and he was HONEST and said he didnât like it, Iâd be happy that he was HONEST, yes I might be a bit disappointed but I want to look my best at my wedding, not every dress is going to flatter my body and I want to know if it works or not
He never said it looked bad he said it didnât fit her theme for the wedding that she had spent so much time and money on. He was just disappointed. Also that is why you shouldnât show the dress before hand, so no feelings get hurt
@@ked49 he said it dwarfed her, meaning it outshined her and she didnât look her best in it. And thatâs stupid logic. Heâd still be disappointed when he first saw it, better it be before sheâs walking down the aisle to meet him. Why hide such a massive thing because of a ridiculous tradition? Iâd want my partner to see and love my dress before my wedding.
Love seeing common f*cking sense
Yeah, so after the mini poutđ why not ask what he likes with matching accessories....đ
What really gets me is that it sounds like he not only had a reason for disliking it, but a reason that took HER hard work and decisions into account for why he disliked it. He had HER in mind when he said that the dress just didn't work rather than his own personal preferences, which should have been a great green flag that he legitimately cared about her.
the idea that just about all women dream about there wedding is just as toxic as boys shouldnt cry
I dreamed of it until I realized how expensive weddings are lol
Well one is a major contributing factor to violent outbursts and high suicide rates and I can't think of a real negative consequence of the other so...
I agree bc I have heard some girls talk about never wanting a wedding and also Iâm a guy and cry a lot.
@@JTV-zq8cw it supports the idea that all women should get married and that all women want a big fancy wedding
Yeah Iâm 21 and never ever have I dreamed of being married or having a wedding, in fact I donât want to đ at least a LEGAL marriage I donât want anyway
The dress. Saying he doesn't like the dress isn't the same as saying she's ugly. It's also not the same as telling her not to wear it. It sounds like they need to communicate more, and her running away and *blocking his number over it* is a red flag to me.
Ya agreed. Like I get supporting your significant other on your big day, but if you ask for an honest opinion don't get pissy when it's not what you want to hear.
I agree with you
Agreed, I think Rslash was projecting a bit too much. Maybe OP could have said it nicer but that response from his partner would make me second-guess the wedding. I get how significant weddings are for some but not having the emotion maturity to be able to honestly answer what type of opinion you want and then blocking your partner is very immature.
It sounds like a future perpetual victim and future karen.
This is one of those questions you can only loose at. Except your importent other knows she can rely on your opinion.
To be honest i would have answered honestly too but explained why i think that, so we can communicate.
Nobody should ever feel like they have to lie to their partner. About anything. She asked his opinion on the dress and he even DOUBLE CHECKED THAT SHE WANTED IT!! 0/5 buttholes. Fiancee gets 1/5
How many do Rslash get?
@@NordTimmy 5/5 100% lol
She blocked his number, that's like 5 crimson red flags for this not ending well.
Thank you for finding the words I was looking for. I was trying to explain the story to my friend and this really fit well. The day is THEIR day, not her day, not his day. If the day's basis is a lie, what's the point.
Yep, much better butthole ratings!
Wedding story: wow, what do ya know, RSlash immediately goes to the husband being wrong. That is his immediate reaction. At least in this case he came back and admitted he was wrong. Wish that happened more.
That first story: They had been told "no" multiple times already and STILL took it anyway with little to no intention of returning it, judging by what they had been saying. No tears for them. Don't take expensive pretty things that don't belong to you, especially after being told no multiple times by the owner of these things.
A thief is a thief no matter the ties
I believe the stepsister would have conveniently "lost" the necklace while on her honeymoon. Actions have consequences.
As a woman who is currently looking around for the right wedding dress, I completely disagree with rSlash. OP clearly asked for whether his fiancee wanted affirmation or his honest opinion. If she couldn't handle the possibility of a negative reaction to a Disney dress, she should not asked for an honest opinion. She should've been happy with what she chose and that was good enough for her.
Oddly enough, a very similar incident happened with my sister's wedding. It's was a relatively simple backyard wedding and she wanted something "simple and elegant" but ended up buying a gaudy, rhinestone covered sleeveless dress with a long train. Well, 10 years and a divorce later she hates that dress and the pictures she took in it and said that she was trying to convince herself it would work and got a dress that's more fashionable (it was very in fashion at the time) rather than one she would've preferred.
Moral of the story, don't give a flip about what anyone else says and just get the dress you want and don't ask for honesty of you can't take it.
Completely agree and the story right before were he was telling guys not to keep their emotions and opinions inside like bro what is this
@@narutolovesthebulls7374 đagree with you. I think it depends on the situation. In this case, the dad was right. What good is crying gonna do, the boy should practice more. Maybe dad was rude but hey, each has his own way of displaying concern.
im more worried that op legit said this was their first real fight. i wasnt even comfortable saying i loved my current fiance until we had at least one and i knew we could handle them. being able to engage and resolve conflicts is hugely important to the longevity of a relationship. its like missing a milestone. now op knows his fiance is a run-and-rant girl which is a BIG red flag to me. if she cant speak to her own fiance and resorts to this...i dont see a good future.
I agree as well. It was my same thought process.
@@nanashiwolf Have to agree here, and this is such a minor fight too. He asked, he naively believed she wanted honesty and gave it. Warrants some anger, him apologizing, and her being salty for a day or two. But to leave the house and block him over THIS? She is clearly close to ending their relationship over this and it's in the OP's best interest if she does. She clearly can not handle any sort of confrontation and it is better to end it now before they are married and she gets 75% over everything the couple has.
The wedding dress story: sorry, Iâm not with you, Slashy. The bride asked for honesty, and when she got it, threw a tantrum. He gave her what she asked for; heâs not a mind reader and took her at her word. This couple has serious communication issues, and really need to work on this before they get married.
never seen that used for rslash as a nickname before, "Slashy" i like it.
Plus he acted like it was just the bride's wedding: it was both of theirs
I gotta agree here. Any bride to be that says itâs âherâ wedding is not a good fit. Husband to be also gets a say unless he defers everything to the bride in planning and theme. And the kicker: he asked his fiancĂ© for a HONESTY and NON-SUGARCOATED opinion. You donât want it? Donât say you want the truth. My only thing is the bride said this was her dream dress, so I gotta grade this as NAH.
My thoughts exactly. If you can't handle your partner telling you the truth about a stupid dress (a dress doesn't make the entire wedding) then when can you? Good relationships don't include lies, little or big. My husband and I thrive in that mentality. If I ask him he honestly he likes something I'm wearing and he says it's weird or doesn't like the clothing, I just say, "well, I like it so đ," and we go out. As long as I'M comfortable, that's all he cares about. If you're insulting your partner's actual appearance (not disliking their clothing choice) then there's a problem. Don't ask for an honest opinion if you don't want honesty.
@@drewgilmore9978 Plus wedding dresses do usually fit the theme: people often make themes around the dress
Rslash, the groom asked MULTIPLE TIMES if she wanted an honest answer, MULTIPLE. And he wasnât even harsh with the criticism, Iâm giving both you and the wife 2/5.
But... but... suppoooooooooort! đ
I'm a girl and I'm told not to cry. I'm a very expressive, emotional and sensitive person. Sometimes I can't help it. When I applied for a job and the person I was asking about it basically gave me bs reasons why I wasn't even going to be interviewed, I had to keep from sobbing outright with tears running down my face. I had to lie to my parents later when they said, "I hope you didn't cry." That's what I get every time.
sorry about your parents. they probably mean well, parents very often don't know the correct path to a solution. I have a co-worker who was a supervisor, and she would break down right in the middle of a job & have to go sit out in her car to get herself together. turns out she got meds for her anxiety and she's much better now though she still refuses to supervise.
the thing is, while there's nothing wrong with experiencing and expressing emotions, if it happens a lot it could definitely get in the way of your life, like it did in her case. your parents and the people trying to hire you may also be thinking along those lines, especially if the job you're going for is one that requires emotional control... for example somebody who burst into tears at the drop of a hat is not going to be very successful in confrontations and other stressful situations.
That's inappropriate treatment from both the interviewer and your family.
Still of you're crying so easily you should seek help for that, I imagine it's extremely emotionally draining for you to be what sounds like on the verge of tears over a minor inconvenience every time. I wish you the best.
She blocked his number over him not liking the dress she picked!? That's a 60 foot 3 shades of red banner she's waving right now!
I was thinking the same thing
Honestly how did she get 0/5 buttholes with that neon sign saying âIâm a red flagâ right there
Imagine the groom calls her or just has someone pass a message along to her saying he did not appreciate the childish stunt she pulled and it made him question the possibility of them maintaining a life long commitment.
Yep. RUN GROOM RUN!
Rslash's judgment is bad
I love how people forget that weddings aren't only about the woman it's about both of you
I agree but imo the dress should be the brides decision. I mean both can still express their opinions (not like in the story) but if the bride really loves a dress and wants to wear it, then she should be able to. The same goes for the outfit of the partner, if they really love an outfit they should be able to wear it
AMEN! I was saying the same. Itâs not HER wedding. Itâs THEIR wedding.
nah we guys typically don't care. if it was up to us it'd be a casual backyard party, you know, something everyone would actually enjoy going to. screw the fancy dress, screw the tux, take all the numbered table markers and seating arrangements and make paper airplanes out of them... DJ and dancing is fine, a cake is fine, just don't have it where the alcoholic redneck neighbor can run over the cat right in front of the guests.
@@better.better You're missing the point. It's not about whether or not, or to what extent the guy is invested in the festivities; that can change from person to person. Some guys, maybe even most guys might be like you and only have some basic boundaries. Others may want a special day in the same sense as the bride would typically be expected too; and others could be anywhere in between.
Regardless it's not about that. Even if the guy just isn't that invested; it's still his day too. Even if he doesn't want to get involved and he chooses to go along with whatever the bride wants, he still has the right to be involved if he wanted to.
For example; if the Bride wants a big Church wedding, but the Groom is very much against it for whatever reason, he does have a right to voice this. --Maybe not a perfect real world example, but I think it gets my point across.
no way,everyone knows for a fact that weddings are all about the bride and the groom is nothing more than a toy and/or a weapon for the bride...
She wanted honesty and got it. The fact that she blocked him over being honest when she asked for honesty is a MASSIVE red flag.
I note that she didn't precisely affirm that she wanted the honesty he was offering. OP quoted her as saying, "I want your opinion." I may be projecting my mild trauma here, but that sounds more like a dodge than an answer.
The dress one: honestly, she asked for it and he told her. Thats poor communication on her part
Yeah, I can understand being disappointed that my fiancĂ© didnât like my wedding dress, but not getting mad at them for being honest after I asked for such.
*At most,* the groom might have been tactless. And even then, that's part of insisting for someone's honest opinion.
honestly yeah, she asked for an opinion, and she got one. its not like she's forbidden from wearing the dress, if she wanted to wear it, she can.
"Something old, something new, something stolen, boys in blue." Great comment.
B full
I literally was fuming mad at Rslash in the wedding dress story, like are you serious? She asked for his wholehearted opinion and he gave it, do you want him to say the truth or lie? He even gave her a choice on what will he say. Until I read his comment lol.
As soon as the necklace was mentioned in the first story, I knew where it was headed... how can some people be so entitled? Asking to borrow a necklace you think is pretty, fair enough, but when the owner of said necklace says no that should be it.
have you heard of something called "god complex" or "god power"?
R/slash: itâs her wedding day!
Me: isnât it his wedding day too?
nah hes just standing there, waiting for the divorce losing half his stuff
Exactly! It is his wedding day too
@@catstudio350 most of the time it is.
in my opinion of the wedding gets cancelled by cuds of this, I thinke
he dodged a bullet!
@@catstudio350 oh hell no!! I lost more than half and ended up with the crap he wrecked
She asked for his opinion, she then stormed off and blocked his number. That's insanely immature, toxic and a huge red flag.
He should NOT marry her.
I agree
It would be much kinder if he didn't marry her. She deserves better.
@@mariposa9506 I've been in an abusive relationship. I would constantly be blocked and given situations in which I could not make a choice that's right. I would get trapped in situations where any answer would've sparked a fight.
Even if it was rude(she asked for genuine honesty), you need to properly communicate with your partner. She did the opposite. She needs to mature a bit, maybe go to therapy before she's ready to marry someone.
@@mariposa9506 Enjoy your cats.
@@mariposa9506 pretty sure HE deserves better...
Wedding dress story: it's OP's wedding too. It's not fair to him if he has to deal with a wedding dress knowing his wife that dissapointed him. They can compromise. It takes two to be in a relationship.
Yeah, but it's not his dress. He gets an opinion on the wedding but it doesn't get an opinion on his fiance's clothing. I don't understand why we would equate the two.
âI want your honest opinionâ
âOkay, I donât think it looks that greatâ
âHow dare you!â
No, I donât think it fits the theme you spent a lot of time and money on
RSlash : Toxic masculinity is bad, m'kay?
Also RSlash : A man's opinion is irrelevant at his own wedding.
Exactly. I felt bad for the op about the wedding. He's trapped in a bad situation that shouldn't have happened.
Exactly, heâs going everywhere on his videos.
I mean... when the Bride has an opinion about the Groom's Tux and forces him to wear something else. It is drama. So really there's a double standard.
Well yeah actually when talking about the brides dress it is
See also: wedding is most important day of a girls life đ
The wedding story is a story that OP can't win. She wanted an honest opinion and she got one. If OP had lied, do you earnestly think the bride wouldn't have sensed it?
That's exactly what I was thinking there is no right answer that doesn't upset the wife in this situation.
Damned if you do, damned if you donât. Itâs a sad reality
Having had experience with this, she'd have gotten MORE pissed if he lied. Rightfully so, you shouldn't ever lie to someone you love
The first lose lose situation for the future husband. But then again the best out would have been for him to say, "no its bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the big day."
And, if he spent too long chewing his words, that still wouldn't have gone over well. Chewing your words to find a nice way to say something is still a response, and is taken as such most of the time.
The story about the wedding dress is awesome. I like how that guy was just honest
"You don't crush a partner's dreams just cuz you wanna be HONEST" Wow rSlash that sounds very hypocritical coming from you...
It isn't really that surprising, coming from him. Dude has a heavy bias against men. If you listen to him talk about his relationship enough, you'll notice that his wife is the dominant one. Dude obviously doesn't enjoy any sort of balance in his marriage, so of course he'd want every other guy to be a nutless wonder like himself.
Well, yes and no. I know rSlash apologized, I just want to address that I was raised with dream-crushing "honesty," and when I went out into the real world, I had to learn the hard way that honesty doesn't necessarily mean giving people pointless-but-true information that they didn't ask for, and will be hurtful. I can only assume that that was what rSlash meant, before he realized he'd missed the part about her wanting his (implied-to-be-honest) opinion.
The wedding story: Not hating on RSlash or the Wife, but isn't this a specials day for OP too? Also She ASKED for an opinion. He gave it, I don't think he was supposed to lie. Does RSlash want a relationship to be built on lies? He's always constantly talking about how much honesty is key. If the couple can't get along because of honesty, yea maybe they shouldn't have a relationship but it seems like they will be able to come talk about it.
I would understand her reaction if she were upset. Perhaps he could have worded it better and been more diplomatic. I think that is something I have to work on as well as I tend to be way too honest when people ask me opinions.
However.
Storming off is one thing, storming out of the house and blocking your fiance is just red flag central.
They are getting MARRIED. It is not some small thing. It is a life commitment and I feel like if she wanted him to say he loved it then why even ask? Unless she was having doubts about it herself and he brought those doubts back up, and now she is annoyed at him and annoyed at herself for buying it, but does not want to accept that blame so completely projects onto him and makes him into the monster. In future her doubts about that dress will now be his fault and not her fault.
Maybe I am just projecting my own experiences into my view of all of this.
@@ydrahkcin I believe the only scenario in which it is inappropriate to be âtoo honestâ is when youâre providing unsolicited advice/opinion when it was never asked of you.
To ask humans not to care would be a bit too much to ask for, given how we operate, but seeking other peopleâs thoughts is a risk you willingly take and is an option for those who can take it, and understand that disliking their decision will not directly and inevitably influence their desires or make them insecure for what they want.
According to the update, the fiancé actually _regretted_ purchasing the dress, along with the fact it costed 9k, and sought secondary confirmation to feel better about her choice.
Agree
I half disagree with you. He asked her if she wants him to be honest yes. But what's she supposed to say? Is she supposed to say she wants him to lie to her if he doesn't like it? Then she gets to worry if he actually likes it or if he was lying for the entire wedding? No, the only way to answer that question is to say you want them to be honest. It's best just to never ask that question. Use your discretion when sharing your opinion. Also, yes it is his special day too, but the dress is such an insignificant thing. It doesn't matter, just suck it up and tell her you love it.
Major communication issues in this relationship though. Big red flags all around.
@@osmium3691 that's what I was thinking. It was a manipulative question.
The necklace story, I totally agree. That necklace could have easily gone âmissingâ just for spite.
It's theft. Period.
When a waitress at a restaurant cares more about your child than you do, there's a problem, potentially, a very serious problem!
Wedding dress story. My thoughts were that she was pressured to get that dress. He said it was not anything like she had described she wanted. That did fit her theme.
The last one is so fucked up. "Oh yeah, that makes him sick." Then don't feed it to him. You shouldn't need someone else telling you that...go to the doctor and have them check for food allergies. He could be allergic/intolerant to dairy or wheat.
Mom probably has already been told he's allergic to dairy and is one of those allergy deniers and thinks if she keeps getting the poor kid to order mac and cheese she can "desensitize" him to it. So she takes him to a restaurant so someone else has to clean it up! She's stupid and abusive!
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog I agree. This situation is outrageous though. If someone's throwing up as a result and it's happening repeatedly that is straight up child abuse. On a side note though what's interesting is peanut allergies only really became a major thing relatively recently. A lot of people have been panicking and withholding peanut related things from children because of how prolific it is which has compounded the issue. Children who are exposed to peanut flavored things from a young age tend to not develop the allergy whereas children who are sheltered from peanuts have a much greater rate of developing a peanut allergy. You should look it up if you have the chance there's a bunch of articles on it and they're a very interesting read. Basically people are so afraid of their kids developing peanut allergies that they give their kids peanut allergies by not exposing them to peanuts as children lol.
@@chasm5227 well I grew up in the same house as my sister with peanut allergies. And I donât have an allergic reaction. I just donât like peanuts because I have never tried them as a kid because I would get yelled at if I tried
Future hubby is supporting the wife. She asked for the truth, her gave it to her. If you don't want someone's honest opinion, don't ask for it
Except she kind of didn't ask for his honest opinion. He asked her if she wants his honest opinion. What's she supposed to say? "No, just lie to me"? The only good answer is to say you want honesty. it's a loaded question
@@osmium3691 it's not a loaded question, anymore than asking for someone's thoughts on something. Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.
@@osmium3691 then the same can be said for the wife.
"what do you think of my wedding dress" is a loaded question. Either he lies his ass off which is bad, because lying to the one you are about to marry is a MASSIVE bad start.
And if he is honest, then suddenly he is the jerk.
And he can't stay silent or go neutral. That will NEVER be accepted.
it wouldn't matter if it was. she already bought the dress. only a fool would tell her it didn't look good at that point. Now she's stuck with the dress, and if she doesn't get a different one, she's going to be unhappy about it for the whole rest of the wedding. I learned early on that only a fool would say anything other than "you look beautiful in everything dear!" which acknowledges that it's a trap, but without avoiding giving an answer, or telling a lie
Exactly
Rslash on soccer story: don't man up it's toxic.
Rslash on wedding story: man up.
In my opinion sure men cry but the kid sure sounded like a whiny biach.
@@BlueDart1971 The kid tried his best to do soccer, obviously something he cares about, and is obviously more on the sensitive side, and when he's upset he wants people to say he's valid to feel that way. His dad ABSOLUTELY could've handled that better.
I feel you're being a bit oblivious to people. Yeah, he was being sensitive, but he obviously cares about soccer, he wants his dad to tell him he's valid, and HE DOES, then as soon as the rest of the family is out of earshot he tells him to get over it, that's hella toxic.
Oh honey. Did I hurt your feelings? Was I not sensitive enough for you? Get over it.
Are you just the kids dad? All he did was express regular human emotion after not making something he cared deeply about and when he did the healthy thing and vent to someone he trusted you say that makes him a whiny biach? How? Heâs not blaming anyone. He just needed an outlet and his father was a shit outlet.
âThat "Dad" is disgraceful and should be horrified at himself for saying what he did, what trash.
Yeah... I don't care if it's her wedding day or not, if she asks for honesty, I'm going to be honest. I'm not gonna ignore my principles. Though I would change my wording. "I don't think that dress matches the theme you chose." Instead of "I don't think it looks good on you."
Stepmom dress story: Does she not realize that fat isnât the only thing that makes up a personâs size? A person could be skin and bones, but still not able to fit into the dress because of their bone structure. And muscle makes up bulk as well.
Even if OP got serious about working out and dieting, thereâs no guarantee that theyâll fit into it.
Next thing you know they would end up being a female gigachad though
Totally agreed. I have this really cute dress that I'd love to fit in, and I worked out and lost 10 kg to fit into it. Turns out the problem was my ribcage, which was too big to fit the bodice. I'm planning on getting it tailored, but it just goes to show that fat isn't the only thing that will make it hard for you to fit in clothes
Yep. I'm a dude, but my ribcage is almost as broad as one of my friend's shoulders. He is built like a corn plant, and has been since I met him in middle school. I am not. There is no realistic way for us to wear the same clothing sizes, despite the less than 2" difference in our heights.
(Unrelated, the size disparity can make sparring hilarious.)
My youngest wears a size XL in shirts. She weighs 109 pounds. She inherited my late MILs chest. There is just no way she'd ever fit in a XS dress. We have to get every single one of her dresses tailored because they would just never fit her waist & look like a sack if we order/buy for her chest. She wears either size 12/14 or 14/16 in child size or an XS in adults for any bottom clothing though. She is 17.
She's always been really tiny & started school as the smallest child by far at 28 pounds & 5 inches shorter than the next smallest kid. She still wore her 6-12 month shorts that first year of school as they were the size that fit her waist. I've always had to have her clothes either made professionally or tailored. Sizing has always been some sort of problem for her. Off the rack is just something we've never been able to really do, although when Ariana Grande made huge hoodies as dresses fashionable, that was rather helpful ;).
The step mom is clearly that far into her delusion, that she refuses to see it any other way
As a woman I got to disagree with you on that dress one. I absolutely hate the whole âdonât tell the girl/wife/partner the honest truth after they asked for it bc theyâre going to blow up at you if you doâ. If you ask someone for their honest opinion you better be prepared for an honest opinion. If you donât, then donât ask for it. If the person is going âare you sureâ the you should be doublely prepared because theyâre worried you wonât like what theyâre going to say.
Itâs basic communication. Communication thatâs essential in any relationship. If we continue pushing this bs double speak it just makes it harder to actually talk about something thatâs an issue for fear of walking on glass.
Could he have said it better? Yes. Could they have established better expectations? Yes. But she should not have blown up and blocked him after she essentially gave him permission to speak his mind.
If I donât look good in my own damn wedding dress I would hope someone points it out before I make an idiot of myself. There are plenty of dresses. Some styles work for some people. Some donât. If she really was dead set on the dress and the only issue was style, maybe they could have talked out a way to better incorporate her sparkle or whatever. Or maybe toned down the poof a little. I dunno.
She should have sat down and talked about what he had concerns with bc he obviously cares and didnât just start bashing the dress the second he saw it. If he did, then I would say heâs a major ass. But he tried to hold back.
.5/5 butt holes for the guy
2/5 for the girl unless she straight up cancels the wedding bc of this bs. If she does itâs a 3 and he dodged a bullet.
TLDR if you canât fukin talk straight donât talk at all. Ffs. And donât blame the other person for not understanding your mixed messages. It just hurts everyone in the end.
Well said. I hate the stereotype of âgirls donât know what they want, just always tell them they look pretty.â Itâs so stupid. She shouldnât of asked for an honest opinion if she didnât want one but I think the groom could tell she didnât want one so it was a bit of an asshole mood for him to tell her. She definitely over reacted though.
@@rachelcookie321 and then when they see themselves and donât like the way they look they project it onto the guy like âwhy didnât you tell me I looked badâ
Only thing that is making me uncomfortable as a woman is the comment from OP about looking sexy in tight dresses. FFS if it wasn't a tight dress he wouldn't like it based on his comment. which is bullshit since weddings are long... sometimes extremaly long. His first thoughts should be "Are you comfortable? not Are you sexy?". Its just my opinion though. Also a simple "I don't think it fits you but it's your choice" is waaay better than blunt "I don't like it". He may need to worh a bit about being more communicative and not asking questions like "Do you want an HONEST opinion?"
But I think He is not the Ahole just maybe a little too blunt and unobservant.
On the other hand the Woman.... oof. If she is pissy like that then it's a problem. Crying, asking why, even shouting at him but just for being way to harsh would be acceptable but blocking him and running to mommy? She has a lot of maturing to do untill she's ready for marriage.
6/5 on the woman
1/5 on the man for being too harsh and thinking more about being sexy than comfortable.
@@KiMiRi4you Iâd lower her score to 2 - 2.5/5. You should reserve real high scores for those who truly deserve them.
@@Starman062 Yeah... I was a bit angry on that so I can lower to 3/5 since I still believe she was waaaay worse than him. But thanks.
Yea the girlfriend XS dress story is much deeper than self hate. Not only is the girlfriend jealous of her boyfriends daughter (which is CREEPY), sheâs weaponized her self hate and wages it against people. That pulls me right past sympathy and to accountability.
Gotta add on to the wedding dress story, if i asked my partner whether they liked my dress and they lied thinking they were sparing my feelings, I'd be upset. I want to be in a dress that we both love since the day is all about US, and the union between us. But we'd probably be dress shopping together lol
Arenât you not supposed to show the dress? So this senario doesnât happen?
@@ked49 would be real awkward if our dresses clashed tho
If my partner doesnât like the dress and I love it, I would still wear it tbh đ€·đ»ââïž I will be the person wearing it so I donât see a problem
@@teyarose you could decide on a theme and about your likes and dislikes before you go dress shopping if you would want to go separate đ but it would definitely be easier to go together especially if you donât really care about traditions
I heavily disagree with you, he never called his fiancé ugly, he just said he didn't like the dress. And the fact she blocked his number is a major red flag. You're clearly not seeing the big picture here.
It could be a red flag, or it could be a maturity/stress issue. If it literally just happened, it may have been done in the heat of the moment and she needs a little time and hopefully wakes up and recognizes that she insisted on an honest opinion. Wedding planning can be stressful and everyone does stupid things sometimes. If she doubles down and insists he should have lied after she asked for honesty... yeah, he might wanna just call the whole thing off.
Sometimes I wish people would just throw on something nice and go see a judge and get it over with. This perfect wedding crap raises the stakes way too much and whatâs already a huge life change and some women just lose their minds,
yah get you seemed extreme but like bees thought of give it time to calm down. but yah that is one heck of a reaction for a supposedly first fight ever.
Yeah she asked for an honest opinion and when she got one shoe got mad
He didn't like the dress because it wasn't form fitting. I don't think that's me not seeing the picture clearly.
I think that people who have very strong opinions on other people's styles need to figure out why it matter so much to them. I wouldn't want to wear something sexy in front of my grandma either.
@@moony6408 IT WASN'T FORM FITTING the problem was the THEME, She chose a theme for her wedding, she showed him different THEME FITTING dresses, but ended up buying one that CLASHES WITH THE THEME, He basically ASKED HER "say good or say the truth?" BEFORE she put on the dress she then confirms she wants the truth, but when he says it she can't handle... HE IS NOT THE A-HOLE HERE...
Gotta disagree with rSlash heavily on the wedding dress one. The bride is just as responsible, and depending on the tone of which the groom worded it, it ranges from NAH to ESH. If he was mean about it, ESH. If he was nice about it, NAH. I can get why she would be mad, but she asked for it, and she said she wanted an honest opinion when she actually just wanted his praise.
Also: you can 100 percent fit a theme without deviating from it. Come on, rSlash. It's not hard to do so. Bridal dresses come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and it's not difficult to find one that still fits the theme. Hell, if she wanted one that was shimmery and sparkly, she could have probably found one with a glitter layer over a nice A-line gown. I don't fault the lady for picking something she loved, granted, but your reasoning is a bit wack, especially with how OP describes his bride's devotion to her theme.
Tbh, I cant really say the wife is TA either. She wanted an opinion and walking out was childish, but not something I'd call her an asshole over
Edit: I didn't realize she blocked him, yeah that is pretty asshole-y. She does deserve at the very least 1/5 asshole points for that tbh
@@pinkelf8471 How about blocking his number?
@@pinkelf8471 Yeah, that's fair. I mean, minor, maybe, 0.5 out of 5 at most. I don't blame her for her reaction, but it does also depend on how OP worded it. If he was being nice about it, calling him names is a bit much.
Edit: actually, I just remembered that she blocked him over it, and uh, nope, bumping that score up to 1.5. You asked for an honest response, you do not get to block his number over it.
@@hiroshi7025 that happened? Maybe I wasn't paying attention or something. Nvm yeah that's something I'd call her TA over
@@ravenbloom6732 yeah, to me it reads like he was nice about it. But he could be making it sound nice for a better chance at NTA
For the last story (ignoring the wedding dress drama aha), vomiting so often like that is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY.
From what I've heard through articles on anorexia, the vomit literally eats away at the esophagus and can BURN a hole through it. It's very dangerous and can cause many complications later in life, especially for a small child.
Not to mention there's nothing they can do to except very invasive procedures. Maybe even a feeding tube if it's bad enough.
Let's also not forget that the stomach acid will also rot your teeth away. That's why it's recommended to brush your teeth after you vomit
I hate myself for even for a moment despite disagreeing with rSlash, still accepting his "It's her wedding day" argument. It's so damn easy to forget that it's actually THEIR wedding day.
Stepmom: you couldâve just waited until after the wedding to get your necklace back!!
Me: *you couldâve just took no for an answer instead of committing theft*
The wedding dress story: So he is a asshole for not understanding that wife didn't want a honest answer and wanted him to agree with her instead, but she isn't asshole for not expecting the truth? It could basically be: The man is asshole for not understanding the other gender but the woman isn't asshole for not understanding the other gender? Seems a little sexist to me dude.
I kinda disagree with your first statement, because the story makes it out like he asked twice if she really was sure she wanted his honest opinion. So she wanted the cold hard truth, but she couldn't handle it.
Bruh the guy shared his opinion when he asked if she wanted his opinion, or if she wanted to love the dress. That already said it all before she agreed to hear it, which she probably did out of worry because of how he phrased it. OP is 100% the butthole.
@@teresae.8932 I don't think op is the asshole here she wanted his opinion he gave her an out but she pushed forward wanting his honest answer and frankly his opinion should matter because it's his wedding too
@@teresae.8932 hey congrats, you shared your opinion. Since yours wasn't even asked for beforehand, you're now 200% an asshole. Unless maybe you are wrong and giving an opinion when asked doesn't make you an asshole
@@teresae.8932 He wasn't even harsh with what he said.
If OP lied to her saying he liked the dress then years later when the wife finds out that he lied to her face then she's gonna think back on their entire marriage thinking "what else has he lied about? Was he not happy during our entire marriage? If he lied about the dress then has he lied about wanting a family or even wanting to marry me?"
rSlash: Toxic masculinity is bad, crying is good
also rSlash: The man doesn't have an opinion, at his own wedding, AFTER she asked for the brutal truth
For the last story I feel cps needs to be called as the âparentsâ are constantly letting their child eat something that makes the child puke. I wonder if they make the child eat Mac and cheese at home too. The child must have horrible teeth from the stomach acid and their throat must be so irritated.
Even worse, theyâre specifically let him eat it in restaurants, and probably not at home. So they donât have to deal with cleaning up afterwards.
@@amycaires8499 I wonder how many of the childâs friends parents have given him mac and cheese because his parents never told them.
Exactly which is just awful for a small child to have to suffer through, if he's vomiting that much he could have scarring in this throat now, and possibly bleeding when he vomits. That scarring cause cause his esophagus to need to have surgical widening in the future otherwise he'll end up choking on everything, there's a host of issues with repetitive vomiting. Just cause a kid _wants_ something doesn't mean you give it to them, especially if it hurts them, and especially if you _KNOW_ it hurts them!
@@13thMaiden also op never stated if they gave the child anything to eat after he puked, so he is probably malnourished too.
@@13thMaiden I was thinking the same thing.. I agree with you as well.. May be the child have Acid reflux or Gastroenteritis or pylovic stenosis.. Or allergic to Dairy throws up every single time... coming from experience because I have a kid..( story time). one day I remember at home.. making mac and cheese for my daughter.. right after she ate it she start throwing up... I never given it again and then I wait several months try it again she did the same thing.. but of course this was at home.. went to a specialist.. and. He told me that she's allergic to Dairy..so... for the parents of the child.. they don't care.. they probably was most likely on their phone ... .. and since they're at a restaurant don't have clean it up which is so wrong..
He literally asked for an honest answer even after he gave her an out. He did not like the dress and it was completely different than everything else she had been showing him and did not go with the theme.
I canât believe the comments heâs getting when she asked for his opinion. Was he supposed to lie?
Also, the fact thatâs itâs not JUST the brides day that theyâve been dreaming about, the groom has probably dreamed for this day longer and in more depth since he actually had to saddle up and propose. So I feel like his opinion matters just as much as hers.
And the fact that r/slash said that him saying that he doesnât like it will make the bride think that sheâs ugly walking down the aisle is quite the opposite because he told you this dress is bad so get one that looks good so I donât think thatđ€·đ»ââïž
@@skunknblunt i completely agree
Exactly op gets buttholes becouse of brutal honesty i find that bullshit
@@skunknblunt Right?! And it's not like he told her _she_ didn't look good in it or that _she_ was ugly, just that the dress didn't fit the theme. What a weird reaction from r/. If she can't handle honesty about a stupid dress, what's going to happen when they get into a legitimate disagreement about something more important in the future? Good relationships thrive on honesty, not lies.
The last story: I suspect that the kid is a known lactose intolerant, or perhaps undiagnosed. Sure, it could be just that particular food that makes him sick, but I think itâs lactose in general. Shame on the parents for letting him eat that, knowing he will get sick!
And the mom deserves 5/5 for literal child abuse
I think what would solve this whole problem was if we got rid of the traditional and just had the groom go wedding shopping with the bride
For the wedding dress story: I have have to say that I really disagree with you, I firmly believe that in a relationship you can tell your partner how you feel, from the mundane to really serious stuff. That idea is doublely true if your partner asks for a opinion. The Groom was answering a question and, if his tone was the same as the one used in the story, he did so in a non aggressive manner. Personally I don't believe a marriage should start with him having to lie about what he thinks, just to avoid a discussion about a dress and that the bride was the butt for just running away from the talk instead of saying what she herself thought about the dress.
Exactly, communication is the literal foundation for a healthy relationship.
If you can't even talk about simple things like if you like a dress or not, then how can you expect a long term marriage to work? I get that the bride wants positive reinforcement, but you can't ask someone to say something that pisses you off, but then blame them for pissing you off!
While op is wrong for making that comment (it's one of the oldest, most obvious traps ever) he should also be able to be honest and speak his mind without being gaslit and told he's an asshole for not immediately agreeing.
Maybe rSlash wife is behing him while he read the story O.o
Glad to know I wasn't the only oneđđ
Agreed. We really need to get over this "It's HER wedding" and "Don't give honest opinions when asked" bullshit.
It's BOTH your weddings, and she asked for honestly.
Fuck double standards
Yeah. I mean, he said she looks beautiful but he just didn't like the dress. He just described the dress, not belittle her. He would be the asshole if he said to her face that it doesn't suit her and it's a ridiculous dress. He just said she looks beautiful but didn't not like the dress.
Wedding dress story: she asked for an honest opinion, she got one that she didn't like or want and imo, overreacted. Blocking OP's number after he said he didn't like it when she asked? And OP even asked if she was sure she wanted his honest opinion, so I really don't see how he's the asshole.
Heâs not. Thatâs ridiculous and entrapping behavior. Donât specifically ask for an honest critical opinion if you canât take the heat.
@@shoeonhead yeah that's what I'm saying lol Rslash really shit the bed on this one
This is the exact reason why I got married through a JOTP plain and simple
And itâs not like heâs keeping her from wearing the dress. When rslash said that I was like đ€. He only stated his opinion.
@@laurenstewart5707 Yeah, I mean, is he really gonna care when sheâs walking down that aisle? No, he sounds like he would have been fine with it if she was just showing him the dress, as long as she liked it.
99% of these comments are about the wedding dress story-
Also on the crying story, he could be going through a tough time like depression or something! Let him cry!
Rslash in other stories: this is your day too
Rslash now: ITS HER DAY SHE NEEDS TO BE SUPPORTED
"When are we as a society going to allow men to be honest with their feelings? Anyway, OP, you're an AH for being honest with your feelings when your fiance asked you to be honest." đ
I think you have summed up 90% of the comments in a beautifully simple one liner! Kudos!
Thank you, I find the Internet doesn't ever seem to reflect reality. The Internet tells us every man hates women and every feminist hates men. Talk to men and women face to face and most, not all, most are on the same page in that there are things we as a society need to urgently address but we mostly all want them same thing. To be treated as a human being regardless of gender, colour or creed.
haha exactly lol r/slash said "that if your not going to have your wifes back on her wedding day then when will you have her back" but if your not gonna be honest to your wife on her wedding day then when will you be honest? lol
Yeah sometimes rslash's opinions are just really stupid.
@@Zeptic11 Yeah, thatâs not having her back. Thatâs kissing her ass. Having her back would be supporting her in a conflict with someone else.
I gotta disagree with RSlash on the wedding dress one. My opinion is with Reddit: If she didn't TRULY want to hear his opinion, she shouldn't have asked. He shouldn't have to lie to her to "support" her. Relationships should not be held together by lying to each other.
Exactly!
These types of questions are really tricky to deal with, especially for guys. When your wife/girlfriend/SO asks for your honest opinion, you feel obligated to give them that honest answer because you don't want to lie to them. It's basically a lose-possibly lose situation, depending on how your SO reacts to your answer.
@@cardinalchaos2278 then get an SO that doesn't react badly to being told the truth when asked. It's your own damn fault if you chose someone who can't take criticism.
@@cardinalchaos2278 đ€·đ»ââïž I'll agree that there's a lot of cases like that, but my husband and I established very early on that, if either of us asks for honesty, we're honest. I would never run away and block his number, just because he didn't like a piece of clothing that I asked his honest opinion of. If you're gonna lie to me about something insignificant, what else are you willing to lie about? It's not a lose lose situation for everyone, just for people that can't handle someone having a different opinion than themselves.
Also how did he give her 0/5? She ran to her mom's and blocked his number? That deserves something. It's such an immature reaction for an adult to have toward their future spouse.
the note at 12:48 made me laugh out loud, especially considering the comments
It's been my experience that when a bride has a set theme for her wedding, she tends to stick with it throughout the entire planning process, or the bride will find her dress and will use the dress as inspiration for getting the wedding theme. However, for a bride to go from whimsical fantasy, as a theme, to sparkly poofs, which didn't match ANY of the dresses that she had originally been showing OP, tells me that when she went dress shopping with her girl friends, that she was being dully influenced by said girl friends. There's always some strange mixture of emotions that oddly seems to surface when one from a group of female friends gets married... and sad to say it gets put upon the bride, usually rearing it's ugly head during that period of a bride finding "the dress". I've seen it happen too many times to count. You can have a group of women who are truly tight fast friends, yet certain friends can, through jealously, envy, or irritation at the weddings theme (wither they hate it or covet it for their own dream wedding) purposefully, through pressure or negative comments, steer the bride away from the type of dress that she really truly wanted to be wearing, to getting her to choose one that was way off of what her wedding theme is, what she's envisioned her dream dress to be about about, or what she originally went dress shopping for in the first place. It's exceptionally petty but it happens quite a bit, sometimes it's done by one or more of the friends trying to secretly sabatoge the bride... again because of jealously, envy, or irritation at the wedding theme (wither they hate it or are coveting it for themselves). It's almost like she bows under the pressure of her friends, inadvertently putting their vision of what she should be wearing above what she wants. What it really comes down to is about wither the bride has the backbone to stand firm against the Negative Nancy's in the group and ultimately goes after what she truly wants on HER wedding day.
To me, this story sounds like instead of just admitting that she'd been weak and allowed herself to be steered away from what she truly wanted by her friends, that she did the exact opposite and doubled down. Storming away though, after asking for his honest opinion, running to her mommy, and then blocking his number. Tells me that OP really REALLY needs to be paying attention to how she deals with an argument, because seriously, since she's behaving this way now BEFORE they're married, how much worse will she behave AFTER they're married? I can guarantee that while she blocked his number she was calling her friends to tell them what he said about the dress. And there in lies the slippery slope.
I've been married going on 28 years now, and I've always had one unbreakable rule where disagreements and arguments with my half-side are concerned.. and it's to: Never EVER under ANY circumstances include other people into your disagreements and arguments with your partner. The minute anyone in a serious relationship goes off to "talk to", "seek the opinion of", or "to badmouth" a partner, you are essentially giving permission to whom ever you are talking to (friends, parents, siblings, or other family) to think, from that point on, that they have a say in your relationship with your partner. From that point on they will feel like they have the absolute RIGHT to talk a smack load about your partner and/or treating your partner like crap because you've made them feel like THEY CAN, that they have that right to be so interfering. This usually happens because one partner didn't handle the disagreement or argument like an adult (like the bride in story above), and because both partners didn't work on improving their communication skills with eachother. Since I know for a FACT that good communication skills are key to having healthy strong relationships (in ANY relationship) than it would stand to reason that freezing out someone, storming off in a huff, or ANYTHING that inhibits communication (including NOT being able to set ones emotions aside to talk) is a detriment to cultivating healthy strong relationships.
Now, I'm wondering if OP is paying attention enough to realize that he just might want to hold off the wedding? IF so he may have dodged a bullet.
*shrugs shoulders*
Just saying....
As always, listen, appreciate, and enjoy!! God Bless!!!
And that is also why you donât show the dress to the groom until the big day. So something like this doesnât happen
This is by far one of the best and most well-reasoned comments in this thread. Thank you for typing all of this out, it really needed to be said!
The wedding one is a red flag. Hes just being honest and she asked for it and she got mad when he gave it to her. She deserves the 2/5 not OP
Seriously, women need to knock it off with these mind games. Men are not mind readers and cannot magically deduce what you want when you say the opposite.
@Killua Zoldyck lol hahaha Oh yeah! well I donât care. Lmao đ ahhh straight people
I give her 3.5 because she dragged the family in on what should have been an argument between THEM. She had to weaponize the family. To insure he'd shut up. Shame on her. it is his day too.
@@ScooterBond1970 eh itâs not all women, just some of em
I am a woman I agree. If Im asking my boyfriend for his honest opinion, Iâll be prepared to take whatever he says
Really disagree with rslash on the dress story, he's kinda protecting her 100% and that sucks
R/ deduction of the situation would have been accurate if she had not asked for an honest opinion after he confirmed
Yeah its not even an everyone sucks story. Its like the bride ia major butthole
He a simp
agreed
I feel like he's making assumptions of a rude critique from the OP when we have no direct reason to assume that happened.
I wouldn't have done any differently. Having to bold face lie to your significant other to try to keep them happy is a sign of a poor relationship. Honesty is key.
In regards to the Mac and cheese kid, I have a similar story. One day for dinner my family all had roast beef and swiss cheese sandwiches. I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible stomach ache. I laid in bed for almost an hour suffering, until I finally got up and went to the bathroom. I sat by the toilet for so long, drinking water and trying to vomit, I started crying it hurt so bad (I was 14-15). When I finally threw up it burned my mouth and throat badly and the feeling of your entire torso convulsing is terrible. I kept drinking water and throwing up until I evacuated all the roast beef and cheese from my body. It was agony. The whole ordeal traumatized me from eating roast beef and swiss cheese, just smelling them makes me gag. I haven't eaten either to this day, years later. I cannot believe this kid eats Mac and cheese *knowing* it will make him puke, that is baffling. They should probably take their child to a doctor because I can guarantee that isn't good for him. I'm not a doctor but I remember hearing something saying that vomiting alot can damage your teeth. Poor kid, Mac and cheese isn't worth it.
Edit: I'm the only one in my family who got sick. I may have just already been sick and would've vomited anyways and my body associated getting sick with the food I ate idk. I'll still never eat roast beef and swiss cheese again.
I used to know a person who would ask me--instead of her fiance--if an outfit made her look fat. I eventually realized that the question enabled her to become upset at me no matter what I answered. If I asked her to clarify what kind of an answer she was expecting, she wouldn't answer. So, if I said no, she got upset for "lying" to her because "I know I look fat in this," but if I said yes, she would get upset because I said she looked fat. I tried to refuse to answer or to take a third option, but she would always either insist on a yes or no answer, or take what answer I gave her as yes or no. It was an early red flag that I ignored.
I will never feel comfortable answering that question again, for anyone, for the rest of my life.
Idk she asked for his honest opinion, he wasnât the but hole
The wedding dress story: all I can think is âis there even gonna be a wedding after this?â
I hope not, for the groomâs sake!
p sure they updated it and turns out the girl brought the dress and regretted it and that's why she overreacted
@@Itty-Bits it was $9,000
@@Itty-Bits lol doubled down on the dumb reaction then. She got what she asked for
After he stated his reaction all I could think is âyou f**ed upâ he totally pooched that interaction.
I get it if she started with âgive me your honest opinionâ and then got mad at him, but after just showing him the dress he basically said âdo you want me to criticize it or pretend that I donât think thereâs something wrong with itâ which by that point is already making her question the dress and already doing the harm.
Actually, if you read OP's update, she didn't like the dress and had used $9k of OP's money to buy it. She was looking for him to make her feel better about her frivolous spending. When he didn't, her response was to blow up on him and block his number.
So not only was she being emotionally manipulative, she's a thief.
She didn't want honesty or his opinion, she wanted her ego stroked. She's a trainwreck, and dude needs to run like hell.
Mac and Cheese story: I BET that mom is an allergy denier and that kid has a food allergy for dairy or something and she *thinks* if she keeps getting the kid Mac and Cheese she can "desensitize" him to it. So she does it at a restaurant so SHE doesn't have to clean it!
ok, can we just talk about the fact that, rslash was like: "SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS MEN OF THE WORLD!!!" to immediately: "BRO SUCK IT UP, LIE TO YOUR FIANCE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, AND TELL HER YOU LIKE THE DRESS!!!
Yea I was thinking that exact same thing. Not surprised by the contradicting opinions though.
Ikr
Ikr? I almost got whiplash from how fast that 180 was.
The dude used to be level-headed and reasonable with his evaluations, but he's kind of fallen off the rails lately.
@@owenogletree6374 his opinions might be stronger cause he can relate to it. Like alot of his opinions on child stories always end with âI have a daughter of my own nowâ
*Rslash reading the comments*
Also Rslash: âHa Ha, Iâm in dangerâ
Finally
Ha ha, truer words have never been spoken đđ
My biggest critique about your take on the wedding story is A. the part about the honest opinion (which you corrected) and B. the fact that the wedding is every womans dream and it's *their* special day, I believe it's special to both people, it's the day the two get married of course it's important, I just don't really like how people always push the groom to the side in weddings idk (I'm not a guy btw, it just bothers me)
With the wedding story: It is technically both of their big days, so he does have an opinion to it too. Another thing if they have a theme, why don't they take that dress but change the fabric and maybe the veil to a light foresty green with the rainbow magic sparkle that it already had; that way she can still stand out, while fitting the theme of the wedding.
Wedding story is NTA. I remember someone else in the comments saying this but if the bride said she didnât like his wedding suit people would tell him to âman upâ and âdo it for herâ. Something Iâve noticed in these wedding stories is that Rslash acts like the day is about the bride and not the groom but thatâs wrong. I donât do this with your videos normally but you get a dislike. Also if the bride is just gonna storm out after him saying that instead of just asking âwhyâ or having a talk with him about it, was probably gonna be a bad marriage.
Bruh the guy shared his opinion when he asked if she wanted his opinion, or if she wanted to love the dress. That already said it all before she agreed to hear it, which she probably did out of worry because of how he phrased it. OP is 100% the butthole.
@@teresae.8932 OP is not the butthole, period. She asked for his honest opinion. She set a theme for the wedding and picked out a dress that not was not only the entire opposite of that theme, but also entirely different from the ones she showed him. The she stormed away like a child and blocked his number like a petty teenager. If anyone is the butthole, it's the fiancée
@@teresae.8932 So you're still saying he should lie to his future wife about his opinion. Why shouldn't he be honest? People don't have to agree with their spouses about everything, but for the relationship to work they should respect each other's right to their own opinions
@@teresae.8932 If they got as far as her asking for his thoughts before he ever had to say that, then it *doesn't fucking matter*. She asked, he answered, and while an ineffective courtesy, him asking if she wanted honesty was still a courtesy. A pair of loving, mature adults should be able to take a little bit of polite, thoughtful criticism.
@@teresae.8932 So lying is better in this case?
I find it funny that rslash talks about how men should express their feeling then in the next story he criticized the groom for expressing his feelings and not suppressing them
That's exactly what I was thinking
Good catch! lol
Exactly!! đ
While I disagree on what he said in the wedding one, those are two completely different scenarios. One is express negative feelings so others can lift you up and make you feel better, the other is "don't be too honest or mean" so you can lift up others. I believe op in the wedding story wasn't wrong, since bride to be asked for opinions, but you're comparing apples and oranges
Completely different scenarios
"Men dont bottle you emotions" few moments later "Dude she didnt want a real answer keep your feelings to yourself even though its your big day too"...
"Man up! I never cried when I was your age!"
"Oh! So that's why you're...*looks up and down*... like THAT."
The wedding dress story: This is a HUGE red flag for the guy! Run man, run like the wind.
Gotta disagree on the wedding dress story. He never said he didn't find her attractive in her wedding dress, and the reaction of his bride is quite a red flag to me imo.
He asked if she wanted his true opinion, he said he didnt like it.
12:22 no, he is supporting her, SHE ASKED for his honest opinion, and she couldn't handle his truth, had he lied to her and said the dress was beautifull that would have been undermining her and lying to her. ofc, he could have been more gracefull about it, but she asked for something she couldn't handle, and then blamed the fact that she couldn't handle it on him. NTA
I am gonna agree with most of the comments here and say that No OP isnât the A-hole in the Wedding story, ask for an honest opinion, you get an honest opinion, If she didnât ask for one itâd be different, but she did ask for one and he didnât shame her or ask her to change the dress, he just gave her the truth
He also stated why he was a bit disapointed, it didnt seem to match the wedding theme, the argument that rSlash give is just insane, so the grooms suit has to match the theme but the brides dress shouldnt match so one could easily see that she is special ?
If the SO of your life asks you your god's honest opinion for something *they* picked out, you *ALWAYS* say "Oh, its awesome." This is a white lie test. Its always a test. lol
Maybe this is why the groom shouldn't see the dress before the wedding its bad luck lol
Agreed
@@ZachareSylvestre thats exactly how a healthy honest relationship should function. Sure.
Wedding one, I do not respect any response that doesn't in some way mention that the bride said she wants the truth.
Do. Not. Respect.
Hell, even just explicitly say it doesn't matter, just freaking acknowledge it's part of the goddamn story at very least.
future fight if OP listened to Rslash in wedding dress story:" You know that wedding dress you wore on our wedding day? i though that dress was ugly, but i lied to you and said it looked good so i wouldnt hurt your feelings!" yes, lets make the foundation of the marriage a foundation of lies and he did ask her for a honest opinion which she then said she wanted. yet, she then runs away and blocks OP after they give a "unsatisfactory" answer/opinion.
if she is running away and blocking him just from a honest opinion, then wow is this marriage going to end in flames. she is basically saying " i only date yes men and if they disagree with me, ill cut them out of my life. " sounds like a very healthy marriage.
Omg itâs such a relief to see that Iâm not the only white bough OP was not the butthole a wedding is the special day for both parties wife and HUSBAND doesnât he deserve to have a say in his own wedding
So the correct response for the wedding dress is to lie to your fiance, really cool train of thought there.
Makes me wonder, how much does he lie to his wife if this is the kind of mentality he has, or how much is his wife potentially controlling him because he has these views.
Also, how are we going to go from "Stop shaming mens' feelings" to immediately "suck it up for your wife-to-be and like the dress" . Huh?
Heâs always been a hypocrite. He goes on this massive rant about how we should respect guyâs feelings too and then tells you in the same breath to let your wife walk over you if you have a disagreement. Like... the bride isnât the most important thing in the wedding... itâs the bride AND groom, if one of them isnât happy it detracts from the day
THANK YOU. rslash doesn't recognize his own socialized biases lol. To be fair, he could have been neutral... but if he did.. in fact.. ask if she wanted critique or support.. and she said "your opinion".. That is inviting the critique. If she can't be confident and comfortable enough in how SHE likes it to wear it regardless, then the commentary is wholly valid. Also, blocking and running honestly sounds like immature and dangerous behavior that does not lend to a partner ready for an intended-for-life commitment. Better reconsider that marriage for everyone's benefit.
@@sophiechen4874 um yeah itâs his opinion so it does not matter what he says. The wife does not have to listen to him and can wear the dress anyway. If the wife is wearing it then his opinion shouldnât have any power. And if she did not ask for the opinion then nothing would have happened.
@@sophiechen4874 he is and was involved the second she asked for an opinion, and when he gave that opinion he was scolded, he is not the a**hole, she is, why does she get to go off on him for giving an opinion that SHE ASKED FOR.
@@MetaDragoon I always asked my late husband what he thought about my outfits if we were going out together but it was with the giant caveat that I knew that he didn't know ish about fashion (as per his choice of a pale yellow polo, 80's style acid washed jeans & Nike running shoes in white with an emerald green swoosh as his choice for first hangout attire in the mid aughts) so I always felt confident enough to ignore that opinion if I felt great in it.
He did get much better after several years & would order me the most marvelous things from Paris, London, New York & LA for holidays & special occasions but if you aren't dressing for someone else, their opinion is just that, an opinion & you can choose to take that on board or not. If I loved how I looked, I usually didn't.
To be fair though, I didn't show him my wedding dress before I had done the rest of the things that you do on your wedding day (hair, makeup, nails, shoes, veil & jewelry) so, even if the dress itself wasn't exactly what he would have picked & I didn't ever ask so I have no idea if it's something he would have picked for me, the overall picture still made him tear up. I'd never have just thrown on the dress by itself, especially if it was drastically different than what I had been saying I wanted. That's just me though.
The groom is not the butthole lol. He gave his honest opinion because she wanted it. Also, people today needs to understand that itâs not the brideâs special day, but the groomâs too. I honestly think she was pretty immature to block him when he did what she asked of him.đđđ€Ł
after hearing his opinion and then reading the comments my only thought is whoever decided to start the whole "seeing the wedding dress before the wedding is bad luck"-thing knew what they were doing.
Rslash's opinion for the wedding dress story: That's basically saying that it's ok to lie to your SO. Just tell them what they want to hear and forget how you feel.
I also agree with the fiance.. why pick out a sparkly/poofy/extravagant dress when you're going with a theme that's the opposite? I agree with the comment of he shouldn't have given an opinion when she probably didn't want to hear it, but.. if they can't talk and be honest now, it's going to be a 1 year marriage.
I made a comment that was something pretty similar The biggest problem I have is if the shoe was on the other foot this wouldn't be an argument if he picked out a suit that was completely unreasonable to the theme of the wedding and she hated it and asked him to change he would be the asshole for being upset so how is she not for doing that
It's the "happy wife, happy life" mentality. So ridiculous. I would have put it more delicately and tried to see if she is willing to change. Also, a Disney princess in a forest themed wedding seems ok to me.
Yeah you shouldn't lie to you fiancee but he shouldn't have been that blunt about it he should have said something along the lines of "oh I'm surprised you went with that style of dress because it's not what we talked about but you still look beautiful in it (because he said she looks good in anything)
Just my opinion and what I would have done though
One question:
Suppose that the Bride overheard her friends and guests talking about how out of place that dress was. Now also lets suppose that the Bride asks her new husband if it really was out of place.
Would the Bride have been happier to find out that her new husband was a slick liar that held back the truth? How could she ever trust him again?
This is exactly my point when I tell people. I would rather be hurt by a truth, rather than comforted by a lie. Because especially with your significant other, the one thing that you should always be able to count on is honesty. If my fiance came out with an outfit that does not look good on her and she asked for my honest opinion. Would she be more upset that I told her the truth, or would she be more upset of the fact that I let her embarrass herself in front of everybody and not said anything because I wanted to "spare her feelings".
Look, it honestly doesn't matter what anyone thinks, only the bride. I know I've second guessed outfits and I'm worried about my wedding dress, my fiance hasn't seen it yet. When I come to him worried he won't like it, he asks me "well do you like the dress? Do you feel confident in the dress? Are you happy?" When I say yes, he says I could be wearing a chicken suit and just because of those emotions, he says I'm beautiful. Even if he's lying about not liking the dress, just the fact that my face lights up, he will love it. That's the appropriate response
@@samalvarez8776 ya instead of lying, avoid the question all together.
@@samalvarez8776 then in reality you don't care if he doesn't like it đ€Šđœââïž
Apparently in an update OP explained that she bought the dress and regretted her choice. In other words it was the worse type of impulse purchase.
âDo you like the poop stain in my face?â âNo, I donât like poop!â - Bride runs away. Yeah, support your wife âŠ
I just died laughing
12:19 What is with this Societies need to lie about whether you like something or not? He doesn't like the dress, if the two of them are close, if they are honest with one another, if they have ACTUAL communication, than that should not be hidden! But as a society those who speak the truth are shamed into lying and if they don't, they are called names like rSlash is saying here, claiming they are unsupportive, etc. If my wife wanted to wear a dress I didn't like for whatever reason and she told me she genuinely wanted my opinion, I'd give it, period, and guess what, if she still wanted to wear the dress, SHE WEAR THE EFFING DRESS! Why? Because while she loves me, my opinion is not the end all of her life. Yes, she wants to be attractive to me, but she isn't a piece of meat at a supermarket and this is about HER feeling comfortable and part of that is KNOWING I will ALWAYS tell her the truth! That I will NEVER lie to her! Honestly rSlash, your logic and that of society on this matter is jacked up, and I am SO glad I'm not like you, this is in my opinion one of the reasons why divorce rates are still so high in the world. Society pressures couples to lie to each other about the "small" things and that normalizes that, whether anyone will admit it or not, that creates rifts in relationships that, over time, just get worse.
Oh I hope the world one day actually gets past this but as the world is jacked up, that is basically guaranteed to NEVER HAPPEN. Ugh.
I remember my dad telling me (for reference he's in his 50's) that when he was a child, he wasn't allowed to cry at his own brother's funeral. It was an accident, wrong place, wrong time. And he was told he had to be the man of the house, being the oldest out of all his siblings. I've only ever seen him cry once, just once.
Yea kids and teens have devolved to be so week nowadaysđ€Šââïž
That just sounds like your dad took the saying being the man of the house and thought it meant he wasn't allowed to cry. My dad had a similar experience but years later found out that his family was disgusted with him because he didn't show any emotions at his brothers funeral even though they were attached at the hip and his brother actually died saving his life and it was all because someone told him that he had to be the man of the house and him only being 15 took that as he couldn't show emotions anymore
Dude that is so dumb. Those people who said he couldnât cry at his own brotherâs funeral are horrible and heartless people. Itâs his own brother and besides men cry too.
@@asoingbob5322 ??
@@asoingbob5322 stop it, get some help
The wedding story: NTA.
She asked. He responded. Her reaction was to STORM OUT OF THE HOUSE?! No conversation, No "why?" Or nothing?
Support your fiance. Yes. But not when it's THIS. Is THAT the reaction she's gonna have to every argument from that point on? Is THAT how she's gonna respond when her husband doesn't like her choices? When you ask for an honest answer, don't be a jerk when you got one. He specifically asked "Do you really want my answer?". He was CONSIDERATE of her feelings. Even So, if they didn't agree, then the next step is to TALK. Not storm out of the house.
I get it. It's really important and all that stuff. But the fact that she just stormed out and didn't have an open communication is just awful and that's NOT how a healthy relationship is suppose to work. Your points are valid R/Slash. But let's not forget that just because it's good points, it makes her less of a butthole and him a butthole.
Yes. Be considerate. But if you asked for an opinion and don't like the answer, then either talk it out or accept it. Do NOT storm out of that conversation and be like "How DARE you not agree to me!" Everyone had their own opinions and their likes and dislikes. That's just how people are. A relationship works with communication. If that's the reaction she's gonna have from now on whenever something doesn't go her way then I honestly hope they have a long talk about "communication"
R slash thinks Wedding means bride is most important only bride yep bride 100% no groom.
Where in reality weddings are Bride isnât more important than the groom and the groom isnât more important than the bride. Itâs a unity, itâs about celebrating their togetherness and itâs an equally important experience for both of them.
@@ShockingPikachu he probably forgot that part when getting married
100%
@Chris George itâll last but it wonât be very positive
I agree with you, if i would ask the same question to my future husband and he doesnt like my dress, we can both negociate and pick a new dress that i really love, stands out to the theme and my husband likes. There are million of choices. Problem solved.
Anyone else feel like 90% of the time Rslash goes back on what he says in the video because it goes against the majority of the comments?
Re: the puking kid with mac and cheese -LET THE PARENTS BUY KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE FOR HIM AT HOME. Puke is best served at his own home!
The first story, if it was "jUsT A pIeCe oF JeWelErY", why can't THEY get their own jewelry? I wouldn't be surprised if their excuse is that "they couldn't afford it".
they literally said they _can_ afford it
And it's not just jewelry, it had a lot of sentimental value to op, stepsis and stepmom are entitled jerks! They really disrespected op
@@julieann2454 It also had a lot of value to stepsis & stepmom... they knew it would piss op off. Which is why they stole it after she had hidden it. I'm so glad that she called the cops to "ruin the wedding" (which I'm sure wasn't really ruined...well except for the fact that her new inlaws now know that she is a thief!)
What odds would I get that the necklace would have been "lost" (sold or tossed overboard) on the honeymoon?
@@jayzo If they CAN afford it, then why the hell did they take it? Literally no point if they CAN afford it.
For the wedding story I think he's not the asshole. He made sure he warned her about wanting a true opinion, she asked for it anyway, and got what she asked for. The truth hurts
That mom in the last story should have had child protective services called on her for letting her son constantly eat something that makes him sick. Like why is she not worried about that or looking into why it happens??
To quote a Tim Mcgraw song: "I don't know why they say grown men don't cry."