Control That Temper
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- čas přidán 12. 11. 2022
- Uncontrolled anger is one of the biggest problems we face in our world today. here are just a few simple points that might help you in your journey of getting a handle on your temper.
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Am African, grew up in a different culture and society, but man, listening to this guy talk, I can relate to a lot of things he says. This is the kind of channel that we men need, too much toxicity against men in general. Can't thank you enough.
I feel you brother, I'm from north europe and a father raising sons. I feel like the world lack reasonable men with traditional values, nothing toxic about it.
Asia, original uk person.. Totally agree with you both.. 🙏❤️ We are all special with no judgement ❤️🙏
He is just great.
I feel you
Amen bro
Anybody else just discovered this gentleman's channel and on a binge? Man, I feel like I've known you my whole life. Thank you.
yes bud i discover a few days ago and its inspired me and given me a mirror to myself, I'm putting the work in but the last week i lost my way, this guys spirit n message reminds me of my higher less mind driven self, the message here is like a roadmap to a self that's more self assured and confident and most things become more simple and back to basics and back to the heart
I did. I'm going to things mentally and luckily he popped up.
Think the algorithm got us all newcomers here
Also just discovered him and binged as well! He's Awesome!
Yes.
“If I could buy you for what your worth and sell you for what you think your worth. I would make a fortune.” I can’t believe if never heard this. It so good 💯
This is the stuff that needs to be pushed on socials. Not the other rubbish we get. Thank u for making this
Agreed. This man was "keeping it real" way before it became a slogan.
😮z
U can thank CHY-NA algorithm for that
Fuck seeing those influencers pushing toxic masculinity, sigma this, sigma that. This right here is real masculinity. Learning to be a good and respectable person with knowledge on how to handle life.
"Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” Words to chew on.
True 👍
Ok, I think every morning about having a positive day not perfect just coping day that is manageable 😊
wOrDs To ChEw On 🥴
Ok my positive thought is I will have a bunch big bundle of roses 🌹 in my vase to make me smile 😊
Not when your evil mind kills any positivity it can find lol. It's like a genocide of hope going on in my head rn
One of my favourite stoic quotes that has helped me has always been; “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” - Marcus Aurelius
Way back, being shunned by the tribe, left you and your family, as prey to rival tribes.
If it's endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining - Marcus Aurelius. My favourite one
Marcus Aurelius the last good empopoer of rome. A great leader and a great human being.
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it?” - Marcus Aurelius
Also highly recc Epictetus for stoic philosophy….
This man is just so likable. His calm demeanor is so pleasant. He's also probably the most manly man I've ever seen. The deep voice. The godly beard. The cowboy style. The man is a walking movie character. And I haven't even gotten to his content yet. What a guy!
Yess👏🏻👏🏻
1 Corinthians 15:1-4 NLT - Let me now remind you, dear brothers and sisters, of the Good News I preached to you before. You welcomed it then, and you still stand firm in it. It is this Good News that saves you if you continue to believe the message I told you-unless, of course, you believed something that was never true in the first place. I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said.
From a 23 year old young man who was raised without a father and has had to make a man out of himself, thank you for the wisdom and values.
Fuck I'm 23 and my father passed when I was 16, estranged to say the least. Crazy. Wish I could talk to him one more time though. Now that I'm actually older and have a somewhat competent mind, sucks not being able to ask or relate to someone that is gone is some form or another.
i CAN FATHER YALL!!
@@Truewastelander mine died when I was 5,you are lucky to have had more time with him.
Some of you men who had to raise yourselves turn out being the best men on this earth because they give those they love everything they never got in life ever. Be that man. I’m proud of you, son.
Y’all got it guys. Every last one of y’all.
As a old truck driver. It's hard many days to keep it together. Time behind the wheel takes our minds to bad places. Everyday I struggle with loneliness, short temper and just sometimes I dislike myself. Sir, your wisdom helps
Look on the bright side, your last name didn't come with a 't'.🥴
I'm 28, lonely af too. I need to pick up a sport or something.
@@boratsagdiyev522 bjj
get local or leave trucking been driving 10 years not for everyone but i stay local i bet u feel better sleeping at your own bed not truck stop
@@c.miller2691 true my friend, BJJ! I would recommend Gracie University to start learning the self defense aspect before getting into the sport part of it.
I'm a 49 year old black man who hasn't fully figured this thing called life out. I have been up and down. Riding this wave called life. I appreciate you and your scenarios and analysis of life and what people in general go through. You give me hope and faith to keep the faith. You are truly an inspiration and a life changer and saver. In the sweet name of the most high thank you. 🙏
We are both going in the right direction. Stay strong and wise
Those waves are life, that will NEVER change. Life is the ups and downs, the suffering is life. The pleasureable moments are the relenting of suffering. Most ppl can't accept that fact and decide to chase pleasure through vanity, I am trying to come to terms with this
how big is your pp
My man no one has life figured out I am 67 an don’t have it figured out. Take it one day at a time and keep the faith always 🙏🏻
I am a 61 year old man born in Belfast , N. Ireland and now living in Auckland , New Zealand. I would just like to say thank you for this, I am in tears as I listen to you, as I can relate so much.
I hope to see both of those places one day, hope you’re doing good now!
Yooooo, I was born in Auckland! Beautiful country, but I always liked the South Island of NZ too. Lots of nice mountains there
You are in a good place to be, just come down south bro. I'm born and still live in Christchurch. The mountains are grounding and helps with the pain.
"They call it toxicly masculine; I call it beautiful."
Brilliant! 😂
Best bit 👍✌️💪🏆🥇
i also laughed at that, beautifully said
If we are walking on a trail and i point and i say "there! thats a venomous snake," is your immediate thought going to be "oh, this guy thinks all snakes are venomous" or would you assume i'm talking about the specific snake on the trail? Hmmm 😂
spot on 😄
this isnt about men overall, most videos can be used for both ngl, from what i watched until this point its not only about men
"Getting angry is lashing out at God 'cause you are not in control!". Remembering that simple admonition has helped me a good deal in dealing with my rampant temper issues over the years. I want to get to be like my father-in-law, a calm and quiet man who is slow to answer, even slower to anger and just all around a good solid decent man. He's been trying his best for a lot of years to follow a much better example yet (✝️), and you can tell...
good point, even tho we sometimes get angry on our selves without realising it.
Be angry and sin not
Most anger is based in fear. The fear of losing control.
Dude I ain't hating and what helps ya helps ya. I ain't trying to judge it. But God gave every man freewill so he does have control. Putting things on God that are man's is a huge problem with religion esp the Christian faith. He gave you that anger your trying to control as well. Everything has its season under the son. I'm not blaming you we all look for answers and what seems to help isn't always as it seems, but hey let's alter faith to fit us instead of getting closer to understanding the flaw of religions. Js God doesn't care about your religion your label was created by man alone. That failure of understanding has caused more death in the name of God than it should've been allowed to. There is a creator , religions just turned him into the character each society could embrace and rationalize. It's like a spawn of culture. Yet if there's one god there should only be one faith in a day where cultures are fading as globalization creates one global culture, religions are going to face strife to assimilate to one faith. Your god isn't better than Allah or Buddha in fact it's the same. When wil man stop letting his insecurities dictate the global future? Did God not say they are all his children? Your told the path to heaven is thru the son , Jesus whom was a Jew , your destination is heaven or hell for your souls eternity accordingly. Yet Jews believe not in heaven hell or even the soul you think you need to save. Not to mention they are supposedly gods chosen people. Why would he choose people that don't believe in what his son offers? Why does the god of old testament and new testament appear to be two distinct different gods. One of wrath and vengeance the other of love and compassion? One doesn't need religions lies to walk with God never did. They are of and for wicked men seeking control of others , the very decievers your warned of the false prophets the men your told not to trust in but in God.
Sorry got on a bit of a rant. But keep up the good fight
God lashed out in anger and killed plenty of people. The God of the OT scriptures is hypocritical at times. God also killed children on several occasions. He also said himself quote "thy God is a jealous God". I just can't see this as a good role model.
Nothing calmed me down more than to develop humility. When he said we value ourselves too highly he was right on regarding the source of my anger issues as a young man. As I approach 30 I’m an entirely different man and I’m much calmer. I’m at the point now where I’m calm most of the time even in stressful moments. Almost the opposite of my past self. It took years of practice and several changes but it helped. Keep taking those small bites at the elephant everyone. It is possible to change for the better regarding anger
Nice work brother 👊 and I agree , humility is incredibly important
Having a bad temper in a sick society is like walking the right rope with no net and little experience.
People are always trying you and having a temper to begin with makes it easy for them to blame you. 🤦♂️ and they certainly do. Often .
Nope, we all have to deal with BS. People aren’t “trying you”
You need to take responsibility for yourself. Stop blaming others.
@@stephanied9629 Just keep being shitty for no reason then, sweetykins. 🙄
I Inherited one hell of an anger issue from my dad, and I've been spending 20+ years working on myself. I rarely get angry now days, but when I do get angry, it's still pretty intense.
Same here. How do you keep it under control when you do?
@@user-zx4cp6kz4b personally, I take a break and hit some of that wacky tobacky. 60% of the time it works every time
@@user-zx4cp6kz4beat
@@user-zx4cp6kz4bSame. If I'm aware enough, I can have a thought pop into my head like "what would mom say if she saw me right now," or "what if someone catches me on camera being this much of an asshole?" Sometimes it works.
My issue with anger isn’t a regular everyday anger thing. It’s a very rare but unstoppable extreme rage that doesn’t usually fit the context of what happened at all and then I feel bad
That sounds like you let things bottle up inside of you for a long period of time, seemingly unaffecting you to yourself and others, until you boil over. I spent my whole life "correcting" my feelings as they popped up to lubricate my social life. I recently found I had it all wrong. It is vitally important to remember to not suppress your feelings, in the least cliche way possible. You have 0% control over your feelings, so you must accept them and digest them as they appear. The key is that you have 100% control over your ACTIONS. Once you fully understand that and practice it, you are able to feel furious, or ecstatic, without disregarding the emotions and putting them on a high shelf to think about later, all while keeping your composure through your actions.
@@LinnyGFX you are definitely right and I appreciate the kind/helpful words.
For me, it’s definitely what you said, but there’s also some odd control element to it too that I don’t quite understand.
Whenever something “triggers” me (I hate that word) it’s like I go into some type of danger mode and if I’m not granted complete control of the situation my automatic response is to use extreme aggression to get it. Unfortunately what will “trigger” me is almost completely unpredictable.
It’s difficult to tell loved ones “if I tell you to shut up then shut up” because it’s not a fair or reasonable expectation and it’s very entitled. On the flip side, if I don’t have control of the situation in those moments, it seems like I will invariably lose my absolute shxt.
It feels like I’m trying to save people from danger but the danger is actually me so its super weird and confusing.
It’s so rare too that it’s just really hard to nail down
@@TheRealAdam23 I believe your triggers (i hate the word too but its fitting) are less random than you think. I would take some time to reflect on the examples you have of you lashing out, and try to find a common thread between them and then go from there. It may take years to figure out, but growth is the fulfilling fruit we get from living our lives. (A counseling session or two could probably nail it down for you much quicker if you're into that kind of thing too).
@@LinnyGFX thank you again for the advice! Maybe you are right about that. I’ll sit down this week while I’m vacation from work and see if I can start to nail it down.
I appreciate the advice and I hope you have a great rest of your day/night! :)
@@stevenbaasc1315 thank you for the advice my friend
About 12-15 years ago after I passed 50, I somehow decided that life is too short to be pissed off all the time. Realizing that actually changed my life and all my relationships
Great advice. After a week of exercising every day, cutting out carbs/sugar/alcohol, reading my Bible, and paying more attention to my wife, I already see results in this regard. Your videos are a blessing.
Putting my ego in check has been instrumental in combating my anger! Looking at myself in the mirror and realizing that I’m not all that! I’m a better man and father to my boys when I’m calm and I set my ego aside! Thank you Dewayne for your profound message! God Bless!
Amen. Soild comment. 💯 thanks for sharing. It blessed me
Thank you. Years of bullying at school left me in constant repressed rage, shaking hands and wanting to lash out at slightest perceived insults. I know I won't get anywhere in my life if I don't start controlling my impulses and channeling them productively.
Wow. We all have our crosses to bear but that’s tough. You’ve had it rough. Many people haven’t suffered like you. But your cross will get lighter if you forgive those people although they don’t deserve to be forgiven. I agree that it’s easier said than done. But for your sake you have to let them off the hook. And even if you don’t forgive them overnight, nevertheless you’ll start to get some peace if you know this is good advice which you’d like to follow. The reason why prayer works even if we think it’s falling on deaf ears, is because the creator requires it to obtain access into your life. Your sharing like this proves to me you’re a survivor. When you get to my age of 75 I’ll be 6 foot under pumping up daisies but I wish I could be around to see the overcomer you’ve become. Try and live in the now. There’s a lot of peace to be found there. 🍀🍀🍀🍀
Sometimes you have to just exercise until you're ready to collapse, then sleep like a dead cow. I don't do full blown cross fit but sometimes an hour plus walk does the trick.
Same here, and it's really sad (on my part) because even after 25+years I've still haven't forgiven them. Every mile I run and weight I lift is in hopes that one day I'll come across them again, and the roles will be reversed. I've seen them around and they all aged like milk and look miserable. I've retained my youthful looks and I've amassed a nice wealth. But my soul is still poisoned. So who's winning?
@@morningstar9317 I was also bullied while growing up, so I know what you guys are talking about.
Stoicism has helped me a lot through the last couple of years, and it has a quote about it: "The best revenge is to not be like your enemy".
@@olavonogueira8944 funny, because I use stoicism as well. It intimidates ppl, like that red frog in the Amazon.
You’re really helping the young men out here who are lost in all these thoughts of anger and emotions, thank you.
indeed. Hell I'm 44 and I needed to hear this. It's difficult the more responsible you become in your adult years too. Being trapped by responsibility and others who depend on you can bring on stress, which depending on what kind of person you are, can bring on a massive temper. Gotta learn to calm that. Especially in a professional or family environment.
@@Original-Juice ha ha me too and I'm 44
Too many young men waking up feeling like fuck the world especially in this country this guys a real influencer.
Definitely! As a confused and angry young lad I totally agree
@@Original-Juice It all starts with a desire and your good desire to rule yourself and get yourself completely under your control will result in success because you’ve got the will to do it. Get plenty of Duane. It’s not just what he says and what he is, but he’s imparting something good that’s intangible and it will be getting into you.
🍀🍀🍀🍀
My trauma therapist said anger can be of three things: hurt, frustration, or fear, and I kind of agree. My (29) brother (32) died suddenly in front of me almost two years ago and I can't tell you how much anger I have. Anger at me mostly, but the stupid little things that just set me off and I see red. I am not an angry person, quite the opposite. But it scares me to have these emotions because they are so intense, especially trying to fight through the mud of grief. I am a nurse and have carried so much guilt for not being able to help him like I could have, but I'm learning to accept: 1. I can't and won't save everyone and 2. I acted as his sister, not his nurse (called 911, tried to get him on the flat floor to do compressions but couldn't because he was a weight lifter). When I really broke down my anger, I have been able to identify that feeling and choose how to respond accordingly. It's the catching the anger that I need to work on.
I also think the climate we are in, it's almost as if we are more strangers than we were and it seems more me vs you/them to the wildest degree. There are resources out there for help, but some choose to stay angry, stay miserable because it's so ingrained in them it'd throw them into an identity crisis and that's a HARD slope to climb up from. It's possible, but it is so uncomfortable.
The only thing that truly matters, is that you will meet him Again in the end. Life is only a journey of materialism...The afterlife is a life of pure love, acceptance and joy.
Glad you have a good therapist. An Assembly of God Church helped me too. They believe in spiritual healing. You still have to do the work, but it sure helps.
"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." Prov 16:32
HalleluYAH
Thank you
Love it!
Why is he better than the mighty?
@Kevin Thompson If I think of a corporate exec, for example (a mighty man in today's context), who controls hundreds but he can't control himself, I see he has a weak heart.
But when I consider a man who has self-mastery, I see he is inwardly strong and thus could more capably make decisions and manage people. Just one example...
Man I feel that shit. I grew up in chaos. Childhood was fucked. Dad was schizophrenic alcoholic abusive, we left him early but mom didn’t know how the hell to be a parent either. Hence, learning no such mental/emotional life skills. I remember when I first became aware of my temper issues. I was 14, doing math homework, sitting in my room listening to Nirvana Unplugged in 1994. I started getting so riled up about a math problem I couldn’t figure out, then I snapped and went into a frenzy tearing all my posters off the wall and punching holes in the Sheetrock. … the next 20+ years was a lot of drinking, a lot of avoiding my feelings and snapping and spiral into darkness often. Finally just now in my early 40’s getting ahold of myself. But shit howdy what a ride.
Brother I feel you....I can't tell ya how many holes I've punched through the drywall over stupid shit....I spent my entire youth in a state of rage and missed out on a lot of beautiful life experiences because of it.... now I'm 50 and still angry, lol... maybe I'll find a way to relax one day....all the best to ya.
Im 34 and this rings so true of my life.. Im still struggling with alcoholism and weed makes it 10x worse. Wrecked my brain with psychedelics in my pursuit of happiness.. I wonder everyday if Ill ever get out of this hole Im in
Damn bro. What a journey. Sounds close to mine. Try mushrooms when you can! Oh and listen to Goggins! Cheers 🤙🏼
It’s possible to obtain some solace by realising that it’s not your fault you got a raw deal with your childhood. It’s something we have no control over. We don’t choose our parents or where we are born. It’s the deal we got dealt. And as we come to terms with this and allow ourselves to harmonise with it we obtain a new strength. But if in our pursuit of happiness we don’t acknowledge our creator, who will help if we ask, we aren’t running on all 8 cylinders. To pray requires humility. Give it a shot.
🍀🍀🍀🍀
@@Vurdox It’s not over till it’s over keep trying man you can do it!
As someone who struggles with anger and anxiety, I can affirm what this man is saying. Proper diet, exercise, the right frame of mind (I'll add mindfulness and meditation) are absolutely vital for me to stay calmer, keep a level head and enjoy life more authentically. Great video. You've become my mentor.
I have a love hate relationship with my anger, it cost me a lot of money, great relationship. Also gave me the strength at times I truly needed to step up for myself. Anger had been my greatest handicap ever since a kid! To be honest I was once convinced my anger was my only strength.
Not in a weird way. My dad passed away this year and your videos make me view you as a father figure with advice. Your videos are very appreciated and well heard here sir! 🙏🏽
Same here man, my dad passed 3 years ago though. My dad was not a cowboy, lol, but from a similar type of cloth, a little rough and willing to do or try it all.
That's not weird at all
My dad's never been in my life. Always had father like figures through internet. Found out this channel today.
I'd love to have a family like him one day.
100% agree
Sorry for your loss man 🙏
An Irishman here - there is a genuine truth about the Celtic temperament. Celts are highly passionate and emotional people. It can be tough to rein in our tempers etc but you are right in this video! I’ve started watching your videos as I smoke my pipe. God bless.
It is leftover rage from 1850
@@ivywoodxrecords I’d argue it’s from 1649 after Cromwell’s massacre ha!
Agreed.
My temper has been my biggest handicap at times.
The thing is if I don't let that anger out, it really builds inside me in a bad way. Letting it out most times minutes later I'm good to go. Holding it in, I can stay mad a while
Irish Midland Tierney here, I get mad at myself more then others, A lot I have bad Self-talk because I can’t change others to do what’s better and I blame myself as a Lord, but I guess I just have to let them do it the way they think is right
Spaniards on the other hand, have very controlled temperament, super long fuses, and never act upon our outbursts...We owned this planet first than any other ethnic group on earth, by asking always politely and saying thank you and please, took us everywhere, we even brought cows (longhorns-correintes) vaqueros (buckeroos) as well as the horses (called mustangs now by the immigrants of the last hundred years) to America, but first always with the proper permits...Good Lord ignorance is bliss...cant stand anglo fake bsers pretending to be vaqueros.
Im not a dude but a mama with a little dude. Love your words of wisdom ❤
Polish woman raised without father thanks you uncle, for life lessons you give. When my biggest fears come to pursue me you make me catch control again.
30 year old woman raising two boys, I have anger issues and have a take responsibility for this and take the steps necessary to make a change and control my temper. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
It’s good that you want to take responsibility for it Tina but it’s not entirely your fault. It’s the life you’ve had and the effects it’s had upon you. You’ve been bruised. Try not to beat yourself up. 2 kids at 30 trying to hold it all together. You need a lot of tender loving care. But until you get it ask for God’s help and keep watching Duane. He’s a good man that understands. And he’s imparting a soothingness that’s helpful. 🍀🍀🍀🍀
@@paulwilfridhunt thanks for your kind words. God bless you.
@@tinarodriguez969, i wish you all the best!❤
@@Vlad2005 thank you so much! God bless you and happy Easter weekend!
Other people’s opinions on your children are irrelevant and if that makes you upset, then you are a weak person who relies on others to validate you and your children
He talks common sense and thank God that never goes out of style. 😊
“If your not moving forward, your moving backwards.” ❤
All of these people nowadays are cutting videos after every sentence. This man (absolute legend) did the entire video in one take.
As a guy who struggled with anger issues most of my adult life, your words ring painfully true. My over- sensitivity towards what other people said caused lots of damage in my personal life. Only within the last two years have I begun to let go of the grip that anger had on my Being, and as you wisely indicated in your message, Humility is what helped me control my temper (quickness to judge or defend myself). Anger is death by 1000 cuts, and God forbid you try it on the wrong person (with an even worse temper) as it could be the last stupid (and selfish) thing you do on this Earth. Cultivating anger is like holding a grudge against yourself, and that attitude only hurts you and those around who want to love you. LET GO, AND LET GOD! Ask His forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. Tomorrow is your opportunity to get it right, one day at a time!
👆Thank you
Your comment was so so impactful and resonated with me…. Thanks so much for sharing that.
Never thought of it like you have. I've been dealing with anger for awhile now. Anger at things from childhood to right now. Your comment finally put the feelings into words. Yes, humility is key. Don't be too quick to judge or even defend yourself. Thank you, good sir
What if your even angrier sociopath and utterlly insane and deranged will they win then man anger is good sometimes esp rage makes a man deadly esp young weak ones u watch the news
You say let Go and let God I did that and guess what it did nothing! I see all the lies men of power speak I see the evil of this world perpetuated daily by ignorance and the willingness to ignore the truth and except the lies as truth! This world made it personal! I have given love to those not deserving forgave those who hurt me and lied and guess what I ended up alone! Friends gone lies from others but always asking of me to help them. I have been used and abused and I’m done with it all this world needs burned to the ground and if your God is the one who allows all this suffering by evil men without cause then he should fucking burn as well. Love doesn’t exist anymore loyalty is a delusion people except from others who will never give the same in return! I’ll only have peace when I get to stand before God and ask why did you allow this why not start over instead of allowing generations of suffering and why do you get to judge any one when it is clear by your own account that you not only allowed evil to come to the un deserving but to rule over the many to spread corruption like a plague!
my ex was who i valued most in this world.. been a year and now learning about valuing myself is something i am just now starting to rediscover. to my fellow friends, you are not alone. lets get it
8:20 "It was what some folks today would call 'toxically masculine' and I called it beautiful." I love it!
The worst part is sober I bottle stuff up and when I get a few in me I let the demons out. I want to change so bad I can't stand it. Listening to you has pushed me to try sobriety and am currently seeking help. Thank you.
Go to the gym when cravings hit, lift some solid iron, get a hard workout in, leave feeling refreshed and exhausted. Eat a good meal. Youll get through this
@@50ulEat3r Thanks!
Man I have the same problem but with food ha. hope you find some friends who are trying to do the same thing. Best of luck and pick yourself back up and try again if that ever happens
Self improvement man, it's a struggle every day but it's a worthwhile one
Been sober 4.5 years, didn't really do AA, went to an IOP. Also put a note on your fridge that states 'you can have a drink tomorrow'... Leave it at that
I tended to internalize a lot of anger (except one time that cost me a job, but the job was horrible) so I don't scream or anything but it wears me down. I found changing my diet helped a lot. Cut down on sugar and eat healthy. I also found that the Bible and the Stoics helped me too.
Your wife is a very lucky woman. You value her the way she deserves, and that gives me hope for True Love❤ for myself.
There’s nothing more valuable than the wisdom of our elders . Thank you 🙏🏼
My Grandfather was a wise 33° Freemason, was one thee most astutely insightful Man I knew!
@@aphysique same, my great grandfather was a 33 degree mason, shared a lot of knowledge as well and mason stories . Grandfather as well followed in his footsteps.did he ever ask you to join the lodge?
True 👍 ✔
You know one thing i always prided myself in was that i never got mad no matter how poorly someone treated me or those close to me. However, I mistook it for stoicism and it isn’t until the past two years where i started to exercise and eat better and spend more quality time with my fiance did i learn that I was actually emotionally detached from myself. It almost ruined my relationship, but as I learn to be in touch with my emotions better I am more happy, joyful, empathetic, but also I find myself more angry and that “temper” that was so easy to control is not so much anymore. Now I am learning to control my emotions; true stoicism and this video helped capitalize on that. While I place less and less value on the things that arent important I am starting to place more value on the things that are such as family, friends, and most importantly my fiance.
I'm glad you are on a better path, and I hope you are getting to a good place with it. I might suggest adding your physical and mental well-being to your list of things that are important. I feel like I forget that sometimes too, and it can make a huge difference in the way you approach things. Like, my mental health and physical well-being are important to me, so I will no longer tolerate bad behavior or hang out with people who repeatedly cross my boundaries because it leaves me drained and less able to focus on the important things in my life. It was a game-changer for me. I'm living a much less stressful life since I started considering myself too rather than just stoically tolerating mistreatment. Anyways, just my two cents. Have a good one.
How do you get in touch with your emotions more, i related to you story a lot
I can relate brother
I have, caused multiple police cars 😂
Im 21 and getting to understand it, with the reconnexion comes anger and fear, and there is some things i cant bear now but didnt mind before
I often feel like i am starting from zero, kinda like a kid, granted i am still one, but i only recently started to accept feeling dumb and even crying when i need to and it feels so weird
I am a carpenter myself and have quite the temper with the guys who come to work and don’t want to work and I try to work on it everyday thank you for this
i had a savage temper. im 36 now and half conquered it for the most part. there were other times i thought i had it in control but then it reared its ugly head again. theres a beautiful power when you can smile in the face of of a challenge that once would make you blind with rage.
self compassion is one of the biggest things that has helped me with my temper.
Damn man... I have never met this guy in person nor did I ever know he existed until just recently, but he feels like family. I can't really place a finger on how, but right off the bat at the beginning of this video it felt like talking to an old wise uncle or a very close family friend. Not to mention the fact that these videos hit close to home and are very helpful as well. Thank you Dewayne and keep up the good work that you do brother.
Not just that but I really felt it was truly looking at me!
Same
He feels like that second father figure.
Intel. It's what they do. assets everywhere, some better than others.
I just subscribed to him on my 3:15 break at work yep 😎💯
Man this hit home. I’m working to get this blood pressure in order now. And about the temper your right. Us men live quite lives of despair and desperation. Most times we just stuff the jar, squeeze the lid on and keep going. Eventually that jar got pressure cracks, and every time you take that lid off, something leaks out.
Good luck brother. Only Cook with coconut oil thats it, it will help. Eat as good as you can
I hear you with the despair and desperation thing. But you’ll get there. The more hope we have the better we feel. The mind is an amazing thing when we get it under control. And whilst we think we know what’s possible and impossible the mind isn’t like this. We set an impossible goal and the mind thinks it’s possible. And eventually we also think the impossible is possible. And that’s a good way to think. Set a goal that floats your boat even if on day one it seems impossible. And eventually you’ll be floating around in hope. 🍀🍀🍀🍀
@@paulwilfridhunt well said. I appreciate your kind words of wisdom.
@@OgMudbone-u2m thanks man. I did read that coconut oil is what should be used. Trying everything myself before I go down the doctor and pills route. Don’t want to be talking BP pills the rest of my damn life
@@Bennybeenhad99pts go for it Benny
Thank you so much for making this. I'm generally a nice hard working person who likes to get the job done. But in a company I worked for previously, I got verbally yelled at for making a small mistake on a project I was working on. Yet, management was not happy that I didn't take accountability for it. Then somehow few days later, my coworkers began to ostracize me and avoided making eye contact at work even though I try to be nice to them. Eventually I ended up having an angry outburst at my manager due to the amount of stress and pressure I was going through with the amount of workload that was on my plate. And well you can guess what happened next...............I just wish I can stop being soft and sensitive when people criticize me for the mistakes I make. But it ain't easy man. It ain't easy.
I’ve watched this video multiple times. Anger management issues run in my family. I’ve improved but have a lot to work on. I absolutely lost it at work the other day. I’m blessed that my manager is understanding when I apologized and explained my struggles. He has the same anger issues. I’m grateful to still have my job.
Lord Christ bless you sir. My dad passed away when I was 27 and now I'm 38. Lacking a father figure these years, I needed to hear this. Thank you sir for your wisdom and encouragement. Been having a rough time managing my staff, full of disappointment and trying to wrangle them. Been working on my temper, a mean tempermental man ain't worth a grain of salt. Amen.
my dad died 3 years ago he was the wind beneath my wings but now im my own father figure you never stop learning
I’m blessed at your age to still have my old man trying to be young. The timer is always ticking.
Godspeed
@@DSToNe19and83 god bless
@@u2bozzi871 mega dittos
You do not need a father figure at the age of 27! WTF!
You got impeccable timing.
I know right I am beyond angry today
@@Skate2heaven I passed a bunch of folks dealing drugs, nasty ones too. I live in the city and there's plenty of sleaze I have to wade through every day. Good idea to keep our temper around dangerous people lol.
@@smoker6683 yeah. I was just trying to pick up my girlfriend and never got to :/. Tweakers be tweakin
I’m a young gym owner and these words resonate with me. In an industry of people puffing their chest out at each other, it’s a reminder that’s not what I need in my life. I need to control myself and set an example for the people who are in the gym working on bettering themselves.
Thanks for the wisdom.
I want to open a gym, I’m 17 and a senior in hs do you have any tips?
@@YourMom-il9ks as much as you think you need to know as a lifter and as an athlete, you’ll need to know about running a business. Find a mentor that is willing to let you work for them and learn as much as you can. Local gym owners are usually active in their gyms so go ask to clean for one and start putting your time in.
fine name for a boy!
as a guy from California, I feel like so many people around me (parents included) value everything in their life way more than they should.
i've always tried to be as humble as i can, but being surrounded by arrogance, entitlement, and ivory towers makes it really difficult to get a good understanding of what is or is not worth my time or energy.
i just want to be happy and comfortable, and to give those feelings to everyone I know. i constantly have to keep reminding myself to take things one step at a time, because if i look too far forward that feeling of defeat can set in far too easily.
i turn 30 years old next month, and im still getting my life together.
_"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."_
I wish I had an influence like you in my life
Not a young man - but young all the same. I got my anger from my father who got it from his father. We call it the “Clark temperament” That’s what we always said anyway. Come to find out it’s just adults failing to teach emotional regulation to their children because they didn’t have any understanding. I get this huge pressure in my chest and the only way I feel I can release it is to blow up. I’m still trying to find ways to cope with what my father has dealt with his whole life. Thank you for this video
beautifully put
Hitting the gym literally saves men's lives. When I've had bad days, getting into the iron fortress really, really helped me.
I have the same anger issues like my old man, so much that I grew to hate him. But everything I do, I keep seeing I'm exactly like him in every way.
@@boratsagdiyev522 The cure begins with the admission you have made. Keep faithfully watching Duane. He’s produces a good spiritual impartation that’ll be going into you and it’ll be doing a great work.
🍀🍀🍀🍀
@@regulator7931 agreed. I was never a big gym rat with the weights but I can attest to cardio /increased heart rate types of activity really doing the body some good. I've been slacking in my 40's, but my activity of choice was always swimming laps. Swam competitively through College so it's a lifelong gift of exercise I'll never forget how to enjoy
This man has such emotional maturity.
My dad was not a good man, but he was a hard worker. The drink had a mean hold on him, and he’d start a fight at the drop of a hat.
I learned by watching him, but ran into the bad side of the law and had to fix myself up proper.
I needed this one man. I needed an old country dude to tell me to calm down. I know its not worth it, but sometimes the principle of things makes me physically ill, and this morning was a perfect opportunity to teach someone a valuable principle. I haven't taken an inventory in a few years.
Great Message Sir!
About 25 years ago I escalated a situation, and I decided then I needed to work on my temper before I ended up dead or in the pin. My tempers way better now, but still a challenge at times.
Now I pay attention to my heart rate and breathing, and ask myself is this situation really worth getting worked up over. Most times it’s not, I take some slow deep breaths and let it go. Life’s too short to be pissed all the time.
👆Thank you!..
25 year old young man here and just want to thank you for your wise words. I just recently came across your channel and haven’t stopped watching your videos. Thank you for giving me the motivation I needed. You’re helping a lot of us young men out here. Appreciate it.
True 👍 ✔
I’ve been working on my temper. It’s my biggest flaw. That, and my ego.
Years ago in military service I had to go to a mental evaluation for my temper issues, it's called anger management.
I was pissed that I had to go,so during the first session I declared I didn't have a anger problem that's just had to be a hard ass because I was in the business of building men to fight wars,the young man conducting the session that I out ranked flatly looked me square in the eye,and said," yes you do have a anger problem because you have a lack of self control self discipline" and you know what? I had no response because deep down I knew he spoke the truth.
His words changed my life my attitude.
Love you sir! I'm 51 and still trying to come to terms with my "Irish" temper". I'm Canadian but a bit nuts and i know it's my Irish blood that gets me into trouble. You're like a big brother to me, offering the best kind of advice I've ever heard. This is golden. You have no idea how much I appreciate all that you say. Re-assessing yourself (myself) and values is something I never really thought about as you explained it. I also would go to war for the woman I love! I admire you for taking that stance! You are one wise son of a gun and again I love you brother!
I’m 60 Italian, Irish and German……be proud of your temper it’s there to protect you and your family. In today’s day and age it’s an asset
@@TinCupChalice40 Not so friend! I just got over a very lengthy 3 year process of being charged and convicted of two counts of assault causing bodily harm. It was self defence but I guess I took it to far. If I let them beat me up a bit I may not have been charged lol. Thank you for your words of support but in today's society I'm trying desperately to change my approach...or at least the powers tha be have tried to. The old schoool tacticts don't fly anymore. Rest assurred, though, if it comes down to it I still say it's better they get it than me. Thanks again bother. Nice of you to reach out.
@@JanPatrickLucas I respectfully disagree BUT I do understand. The reason why these approaches donut work anymore is because this society is full of wimps and dare I say homosexuality is now accepted. I am the first generation that has managed to stay out of jail in spite of my temper but at the same time I can go back and get down on myself for times I should’ve stepped it up and laid a few people out. My guess is that you were in the right but the law got between you and your opponent. we are a dying breed but we are men, I have two boys and I have told them to watch their temper because my God they’ve got it too. When people like you and I fail at something it’s because it is our fault we don’t blame anybody else but ourselves but in today’s society it’s always anybody but the person who failed. I’m sorry you had to pay such a steep penalty that must’ve been horrific my greatest fear in life was
going to prison. I think that’s what kept me on the straight and arrow for the most part. And when I say kept me on the straight and arrow I do not mean that I would have done some major crime I was always aware of what was right and what was wrong and I try to handle myself honorably but when it comes to standing up for my family or myself that’s a different story but I’m 60 now I think I’m past all that my worst encounter was being surrounded by 17 drunk Mexicans with my two boys asleep in the car I would not leave that vehicle without them it’s a long story but I am still here and my boys ended up safe as well. I now live in the woods of Idaho alone. If I can say something negative about my disposition is that I could never find a woman that understood me and my prison is going through this life alone because of it
@@TinCupChalice40 All good my friend! I'm with you!
@@TinCupChalice40 Much rather have a temper than be docile. anyday.
Dewayne, I feel that God is personally directing you with these videos. Just last night I was thinking to myself “If I didn’t get married just over a month ago, I’d be out committing violence.” So many world events, politics, and personal issues are driving me crazy to the point that I lose my mind.
This video is a Godsend and is helping me recenter myself in these trying times. Thank you for all that you do, sir.
Hey I hear you. The political stuff is especially getting to me. Hang in there. You’re not alone.
@@regularguy3202 Yes sir. It’s very good to know one is not alone. I assume most people here are conservative or at least Christian, and every day it seems like more terrible news comes out. Woke madness, anti-Christian screeds, losing elections, it all seems so hopeless. I’m honestly shocked more people haven’t acted out in terrible ways.
I pray that God guides us during these evil times.
That's a pretty dangerous thought. Get yourself some help
@@xb5883 Nah, I’m good; you need help if current world events DON’T drive you mad.
@@_Cato_ I don't turn on the news. Not out of touch with world events, I just don't focus on them, because yes, that would drag anyone down. The news is a big part of what is dividing our great country.
My boyfriend saw you suggested on the having your stuff together video when I cut the TV on this morning and said "I need some advice from a cowboy." I clicked on it and I love listening to you! My partner and I both needed this video this morning. We both grew up around temperamental families and have a hard time chilling out before discussing things and feeling on both sides always get hurt. I'm 25 and he's 24 (and 3 quarters) and we've got a long way to go but thanks to you I think we can start implementing the advice you gave us today. God bless you and your family ❤ Congrats on the grand baby🎉 Our son will be 2 in May and babies are such a gift of love 🥹 It's wonderful!
I’m a black male 3rd grade school teacher. Good talk man. Good talk.
Congratulations Dwayne on your fifth grand child, bless your family brother that's great I wish him all the luck in the world brother
A wise Roman emperor once said "You have power over your mind not outside events, realize this and you will find strength". Thank you for putting it into ur words, wise cowboy👍🏻
Honestly, as an adolescent who has many, MANY, troubles controlling his temper, this is probably the Most helpful Thing that i have Seen in years, and plus you have a very Unique, humbly and funny way to Tell Things that keeps You entertained, thanks
100% agree! I gave up alcohol and smoking over 20 years ago and fixed my diet about 10 years ago and have also been working out every day for several years and that has done wonders for me! I have suffered from depression, anxiety and insomnia most of my life and those things have made it so I don't need medication and I am pretty calm, cool and collected most of the time. I have always found that horses (and animals in general) ground me so I never really had a terrible temper around them, but I sure did towards humans. Everything you say here is absolutely true.
I have a strained relationship with my dad. You're definitely giving the fatherly advice that we all need to hear. Thank you so much.
A girl with daddy issues? How truly rare in 2022!
Whether or not your father deserves your respect nevertheless if you give it to him the tension will diminish.
Ultimately he will bless you for it and also your view of older men will change into one of not being threatened by them. And therefore your happiness will grow.
Don’t hesitate to call your father Sir and do it often. Lace your speech with high levels of respect towards him and your life will improve.
Get a large photo of your father and hang it in a prominent place in your home and it will allow you to admire him, even if he has few admirable qualities, but finally it will result in you loving him.
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Here is the same story but a more expanded version. It’s a funny thing with parents. Well it’s not funny haha. Calming down parents is the key to blessings. Lavish your old man with oodles of respect even if he doesn’t deserve it. It works. They start to become agreeable. I speak from experience. I had the same problem with my father and now I’m a 75 year old great grandfather. But my Dad was blocking me if you know what I mean. Anyway this is what I did. I got an extra large photo of him and put it on my wall. At first it was upsetting seeing his photo there. But two things started to happen. I allowed myself to admire him and eventually I began to love him. But the photo started to change. It wasn’t actually changing. It was my view of him that was starting to change. And he seemed to have a look of I’m for you son. I still have a photo of my parents on my bedside table today although they have been long gone. And he knew I had his photo on my wall and I knew it was floating his boat. He appreciated it. Also I told him I had his photo on my desk at work. All of this helps but also it gives you protection from others when they know you’re doing this because it prevents them from inflating themselves against you when they see you’ve elevated your parents like this. They cut you a break because of your humility. Don’t underestimate this. Also your father will bless you and believe me that’s worth having. It’s only our pride that prevents us from being wise like this. I could have really done a number on my father but I just wasn’t smart enough. If I had my time over again I would have addressed him as sir and father instead of dad. And man that would have worked a treat. Good luck young man. 🍀🍀🍀🍀
same to me
Diet is so important! More important than exercise! If our diet isn't right, we can't be at our best. Also anger and stress can destroy our health. Stress is a massive cause of heart disease! I am speaking from experience. Ten years ago I had major heart issues. For me the most important things are my diet and reducing my stress as much as possible. If my grandparents wouldn't recognize what I am eating, I probably should not eat it! Stay away from all the highly processed crap. I agree with the physical exercise. It's my drug. Great advice. Thank you.
I’ve worked as an EMT and in construction remodeling houses. I’ve always been told I’m a calming person but I would say my anger feels a lot like yours. After seeing as many people die as I have you start to lose patience with people. As I work construction now where it seems like everyone struggles with their temper, it can be almost unbearable some days with the amount of patience I need. The gym you were talking about sounds really nice, exercise has helped me tremendously. I think in my case I’ve been putting too much value in others opinion, along with not taking stock with myself as you pointed out in the video. I’m 26 now with a child and my relationship with his mother failed. I’ve had a problem forming new relationships since then. I think this video has helped me find some changes I can implement to better myself. Thank you for your time sharing the wisdom sir. I’ll keep working on myself and I’ll see where I end up in a few months from now.
Cannot believe how lucky I have been to somehow stumble upon your channel. Young Australian of 23 and all the advice and wisdom you put out on this channel is invaluable. I haven't had a father for nearly 8 years now and when he was here he was a sore excuse for one. Having you gently and yet confidently pouring out advice has helped me navigate the difficult landscape of growing into a man worth being.
Thankyou so much, and keep it coming!
Oh and also really enjoy your videos just about horses or saddles or whatever else, there's alot I learn from those about life even though they are more physical than philosophical.
no luck
providence
of The Holy Spirit .
not luck
My father became a simp for used up women.
Good luck on your journey
"A little bit better today than you were yesterday" embrace the journey... and the results. Love it. Plus, audio is flawless
Not Wrong there
I'd say he's like a wise dad for men who didn't have wise dads when they were kids.
Duane, you are a real treasure. Thank you for your talks!!
I'm glad I seen this.. I'm 33 years old and within the past 6 months I've just started to understand how important it is for men to always have their emotions under control. You're missing the giant piece of what makes a man if you don't have them under control.. nothing can get done right if we don't have our emotions under control .you won't be able to see that unless you're practicing getting them under control..ty for this video
I would say it's number 1 man. To me, everything follows that rule.
Great points, InuJoshua
Fr bro..that peace and conciouwness is the key to Live verter and evolve in all areas of Life
@@Angel-je3bhread... research. study.. work on pulling yourslef away from the world... and itll become easier
You know your word is impactful when 1/10 of the views are also liked. We appreciate all your good insight a lot, especially those of us that don’t have a good honest elders who’ve been around the block a few times. Don’t stop spreading the message of good mental health to us young men ✊🏽❤️
This is Stoicism.
I'd love to hear him do a book review on Meditations
Today, I realized that I have no humility. I'm wanting to change that. What made me realize this was my boss acting like a fool and berating me for something small. I allowed that to make me furious and after work that day, I was incredibly violent and angry. I realized that what we have in common is our lack of humility and our huge egos. I'm no better than a narcissist. That will change, this video helps me a lot.
Brazilian 31 years old, I was very lucky to find this gentleman's channel, he speaks in such a subtle calm and pleasant way that it's like I'm listening to my grandfather talking to me. God bless we need more channel like this on YT guys.
This man is pure gold. As a 33yr old I love listening to this man’s
Stories and advice. Thank you for all you do for the young and older men. Men In general.
Soon after my first child was born, my dad told me that he was sorry for passing his anger down to me. It took a lot of courage for him to admit that to me. I started thinking more about my anger. I use it to get through tough situations, but that aint right. I do so much better in situations when I'm calm. Now I manage a good crew of truckers and I'm known as the cool, calm guy in any situation. It still boils up time to time but I need it less and less to get through difficult situations. God bless you sir.
28 year old male from Canada here. The last 2 years or so my temper has gotten so far out of hand. The next step is landing myself in jail because that's how terrible it's getting. The thoughts going through my mind everyday is relentless. Some days in traffic I have to pull over if someone cuts me off because I would follow them and confront in person and gotten into fist fights in parking lots. It's a TOTAL HANDICAP. Thank you sir, so dearly greatly because this is the only videos I've watched on this where it actually clicks. Massive respect sir. Best of luck to you
My Dad always told me that hard work takes the meanness out of you
You’re words about your wife…Amen Brother. May we all find a wife worthy of such love and value
Thank you for putting this topic out there! Too many don't realize the Ole saying, "What goes in, comes out.", is applicable to so many aspects of this life.
Came back to this video just to thank you for this.
Over the past 6 months or so, I've lashed out on somebody else once.
Before this video giving me a new perspective, I've learned to hold my tongue. I've learned to hold onto that anger until I can let it go somewhere else. I've learned soo much from your wisdom, Dry Creek.
Thank you soo much.
The lashing out thing only happened because I was trying to contain it but they kept on and on and on and on.. But now I know what it takes to get me there, now I know to avoid things that get me there. Like my last job 😅
I've found that just thinking "I am feeling x" over and over again to myself has been very helpful in managing difficult emotions. For whatever reason, it just works.
I just found your channel, i'm 28 livin in Miami, grew up makin a lot of poor decisions that landed me in a lot of poor places, now i want to be a better man but i'm dealin with the residuals from my past life. It's hard man, but this video and the one about "what age you should have it together" popped up on my feed, it's 4am right now and i gave up trying to sleep but i feel refreshed and relieved after watching those videos. I realized "maybe i ain't as messed up as i thought i was".
Idk what the hell i'm going to do yet but watching a couple of your videos is a good start i think.
You remind me of my step father who was a farmer from Idaho, he was an amazing man with a life story that could've been a movie, anyways, i wish i was mature enough to utilize what he had to offer a young man growing up... oh well, life goes on. Thanks man, this world needs more men like yourself, young men especially.
Its never too late. Im in Miami too btw. I can relate to having regrets and feeling lost. I am 40 now and I got started with a good life recently. Its never too late.
This man is a national treasure , he must be protected at all costs, here is the value in picture of a man in 2022. You've got me through some dark times and some dark thoughts, appreciate you brother 👊
I like his style of living. So simple and natural!
I’m proud that there are still men out here with the same values as me , love it brother
I love that you point out that anger doesn't just come from one place, or situation.
My anger definitely was misplaced for many years--My anger-fear stemmed from a childhood surrounded by alcoholism, drug addiction, and abuse (emotional and physical). Even though I had managed to escape the repeated lifestyle my own parents lived, I didn't really escape the psychological effects of childhood trauma until I addressed my C-PTSD in therapy.
I truly love your videos...I love your openess...love the realness you share. It's refreshing in this world.
Thank you 🙏
God Bless you. 🙏🏻
You’re strong- please don’t ever forget it.
My daughter took my four-year-old grandson off of all grains. He went from being a little hothead to being the sweetest kid you've ever met. Diet plays a HUGE part in gut health and yes, gut health affects us mentally. Way to spread the word! And congratulations on the new grandson!
Thank you for all you share! I definitely subscribed and listening to you is like having a wise brother giving advice! Thank you, sir! 🙏
Thank you. I really needed to hear this. In an argument, I go from 0 to 60 in no time. Nothing physical, just I can be louder and not pushed around. I can think of lots of reasons I'm like this from when I was a kid, but bottom line is, I need to control this and I'm trying. Again, thank you!
Accepting the things you can not control is huge!
Physical exercise truly is underrated. At its height it's downright spiritual. We're all primal primates, deep down, man and woman; and we shouldn't forget it; we shouldn't deny it.