The Antidote to Anger | Mike Goldman | TEDxGainesville
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- čas přidán 5. 03. 2023
- Why is it we so often assume the worst in people? What if we could flip the switch and assume positive intent? What impact would that have on our relationships? What impact would that have on the world? Mike Goldman is a leadership team coach and bestselling author of two books, Breakthrough Leadership Team and Performance Breakthrough. During his 35-year coaching and consulting career he’s worked with hundreds of leaders and dozens of organizations including Disney, Verizon, CHANEL and Polo Ralph Lauren. His insights have been featured in Forbes, Fast Company and Chief Executive Magazine and he’s widely regarded by CEOs as the expert on building great leaders and leadership teams. As both coach and speaker, Mike is on a mission to help CEO’s grow their business and have more impact while creating a more engaging, fulfilling environment for their team using his Breakthrough Leadership Team approach. Mike is a life-long learner. In fact, he often tells his clients that he if he’s gone ninety minutes without recommending a book, they should dial 911 because there may be a serious issue. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
"giving the benefit of the doubt" my dad has told me this for years and it's still hard to apply in all situations. it comes down to empathy.
i truly struggle so much with anger and it’s odd because i hate that i am that way. i feel awful for expressing my anger. i feel so impatient and i don’t know why. i just want to be normal
I'm usually a very calm and (i think) thoughtful person, but occasionally I react aggressively to a situation. Those reactions have, afterwards, always really bothered me. I thought of doing an anger management course or similar, but that didn't feel quite right. So today, I did a search on youtube, where I stumbled upon this video. Mike - your simple phrase 'assume positive intent' - made everything so clear. Thank you so much!
Thanks so much for sharing the impact my talk had on you. You made my day!! And always remember to ask, “what else could this mean?”
This right here 👏
He says “ he is usually very calm” and I searched anger management videos and this is the first comment I read. ☠️
Feel the same way
Thank you for this simplified teaching, I pray this helps me with my anger management.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
I feel very fortunate to have heard this message from Mike firsthand. It had such an impact on me then, years ago, and it has stayed with me ever since. Incredible message, Mike! So happy the rest of the world can hear it now as well.
I loved the concrete data about how much information our brains can actually process and the idea of pronoia. Great job, Mike!
Mike, this is friggin' beautiful on so many levels.
Like, seriously. Cuttin' onions over here.
An amazing approach to solving conflict and reducing drama in your life. Great video.
Great talk. Don't make Assumptions and always Do Your Best, 2 of the Four Agreements. Powerful material. Thank you!
Remind yourself that no one is wantonly negative.
Yes! That’s a great way to think about it.
I've known Mike for several years - we both serve on a panel of CEO's (a sub-group of the Commerce and Industry Association of New Jersey) which meets on a monthly basis, together acting as a quasi board of directors for each others' businesses. We discuss our unique challenges (and our successes) in great detail, in strict confidentiality. Mike's depth of understanding and insight into the highest levels of managerial organization are invaluable to our group. Among many competencies, he's an authority on how to assemble a key leadership team, how to motivate staff, and how to stay focused on a goal. I've learned a lot from Mike, and always look forward to his input when sharing my own challenges. Tough love is what we need, and Mike displays his with tenderness...
THIS...
THIS is an IDEA WORTH SHARING.
Mike Goldman, thank you for sharing this powerful-positive message. Life-changing!
"It's all about the story in our own minds!" Great talk Mike!
So great, Mike! "Assume positive intent." Such a powerful message...
Thank you for vice words❤
An elegantly constructed, powerful talk. And oh the wisdom. Beautiful, Mike!
Mike Goldman - I absolutely LOVE your TEDx talk. Not only did you tell an incredible story, you interwove supporting data and I felt like you packed the 15 minutes with love, kindness, and a strategy that anyone can use to NOT assume the worst in person.
This is my favorite quote of yours: "The 126 bits we see is a decision we can make."
And here are my favorite concepts that you mentioned:
• Law of Positive Intent: Everyone is trying to do the best they can with the resources they have
• Pronoia: Assumes the positive intent of the universe; even the obstacles are there for you (I had never head of this before!)
Incredibly well done, Mike. Standing ovation and at least two encores 😀
This is a phenomenal video, i have recently been very much struggling with my anger and it has been affecting my marriage and family. Thank you this helped me see something in my life i had not noticed and i am truly thankfull to have found this at one of the most difficult times in my life.
So glad this made an impact for you!!❤
I really needed to see this video
Wow! What a powerful message!
I so appreciate you sharing such a vulnerable story in such an empowering way. Application of this “idea worth sharing” truly has the potential of healing on a planetary scale.
Anger to Curiousity.
Wow! Well done Michael. Great talk...thanks for sharing your story.
You gave an extremely powerful talk about how shifting our mindsets to "assume positive intent" can be life-changing and world-changing. Outstanding job, Mike! Fantastic delivery of an important message for all of us. Well worth sharing.
Really good points, Im almost never angry on people and I use to think: Assume positive intent from others, be curious why they did something, assume they do their best with what they have.
WELL DONE, Mike Goldman. WELL DONE!!!
I love it! What a great way to look at the limitless possibilities available to us, when we choose and act from a place of positive intent.
So many great take aways from this talk! Absolutely love the prompt, "What else could this mean?".
While I think all people could watch this, in my experience assuming a positive intent in some cases indeed led to bigger problems than they'd been if I exercised mistrust. It really depends if the people in the interaction really have a positive intent - one does meet people now and again who consciously or subconsciously choose to scr you for their own gain.
Excellent job, Mike! Courageous and vulnerable. Love the concept of pronoia!
This is a powerful message that anyone can learn from - thank you, Mike!
Curiosity is the antidote to judgement.
Mike - This was amazing. It has definitely changed my thinking about relationships and how to assume positive intent from everyone. Thank you for bringing your story to the world!
Thanks Dan!!
We would create a world that works for everyone.
This just amazing! Mike you have opened up my eyes to my failures! Thank you!
Thanks Russel. Please share it with others as I think this message is especially important with what'g going on in the world today.
Well done Mike. Great to see you following your passion on presenting to wider audiences. An idea worth sharing for sure.
Great message Mike! Powerful command of the room. Now to implement your ideas!
Wonderful speech Mike!
AWESOME job Mike!!!
Mind opening view
Just watched hours of vids on anger - by far this was the best.
Thank you!!
Please share it with others that might find it valuable!!
Awesome 💯
*LOVE* the term: pronoia, btw 🙏🏼💪🏼💜🎯✅
What a powerful TedTalk! Love it.
Thank you!
Mindshifting ! Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Love that term! Thanks.
pls someone send this video to all the war headed leaders
Mike, this was such a fantastic message and perspective. Thank you for your wisdom!
Adam do u realize how awesome u are you
Well done. Saw a few videos and this one hits the nail on the head 👍🏻
Great talk!
Such a powerful, nuanced take on the decisions we can make every day to understand our reality. What a gift to have "pronoia" to share with others and to imagine we could do this at the world level. This is a transformational 15 minute investment (of your time) you will be happy you made!
Legendary video
Thanks! Please share it with others as I think this message is especially important with what'g going on in the world today.
EMDR eye movements can help process anger. Most anger is stored as PTSD in the brain and nervous system. EMDR helps get rid of all the pain and negative emotions attached to a traumatic memory causing anger.Stored Anger is another form of PTSD.
❤
Ordinary people have in general positive intent.
World leaders have in general negative intent.
I’m gonna try to use the assume positive intent. I never realized how big of a problem my anger is esp with bipolar. The past week I’ve said some regretful things and making assumptions bc i was doing negative intent. My mans leaving cause of it. I hope this helps n I hope I can figure this out I don’t wanna ruin my relationships
This is totally under viewed
Thanks @JimmyBeamerBear!! If you really think it's under viewed, (I agree!) please share it!!
Assume positive intent and then take on your responsibilities like taking a bull by the horns.
Does it apply with anger from. Narcissists
My anger !!!!!!!!!!
Every single minute I get tired of life 😢😢😢
My favorite part is that he looks and sounds like a reformed mafia boss. 😂 the Don got therapy.
I guess I'll take that as a compliment!! 😁😁
So Was the bad week and the good week both assumptive or was it only the bad week?
Great question! The answer is both. We have control over what we focus on and THAT becomes our reality.
@@Mikegoldmancoach Thank you!
They don't call it Asperger's anymore, thankfully. And playing Videogames, lots of "Normal" people spend hrs playing them.
i wonder if Mike Goldman has ever lived in a ghetto. assuming negative intent is almost a must since there are so many predators in those places.
ASSBURGERS???