Extreme Emotions After Brain Injury + How it Affects Relationships
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- čas přidán 7. 12. 2021
- Emotional responses after brain injury can come in extremes - highs, lows, outbursts - or just feeling "blank" or nothing at all. Survivors also could have a hard time expressing their emotions and verbalizing it. Emotions also affect our identity, how we view ourselves, and directly impact our relationships.
Today, Cristabelle leads us through all of this, sharing some personal examples along with encouragement.
Mentioned: "That's Not Love" song by Cristabelle - • Cristabelle Braden - T...
💙 Hear more on the podcast! -- This is a segment from "Hope Survives | Brain Injury Podcast" with Cristabelle Braden - hopeafterheadinjury.com/663/e...
Junk food makes me feel like I'm on street drugs, health food makes me feel like a genius, lack of sleep makes me suicidal... I have been hit by a car twice while on foot at the ages 11 and 17 that were going 45 mph. Life is very hard when your brain feels inflamed half the time and can't concentrate. I'm glad I'm not alone.
We're members of a small club, unfortunately. I was hit by a car 2x in my life: age 10 and 24. The first time my TBI was such that I suffered no real cognitive / physiological / or psychological consequences. Huge physical injuries, but I healed. The second time, not so lucky - meaning life changing TBI. Unfortunately, people don't understand how hard it is to live without cognitive and emotional filters, much less attempt to use them after you've retrained your brain. This real-time brain self-management means we have to intentionally monitor (and try to control) our verbal and non-verbal responses. Which - for a brain injury survivor - is physically, emotionally and psychologically exhausting. Life is never the same after TBI. No matter how healed someone looks or appears to be operating.
Motorcycle accident. I asked my husband of 50 years " go slow don't this road" he went 45 which I don't feel was slow. I blame him and hate it. 10 years!! Alot more then tbi. Stomach blew up. Uggg
Dude you are soooo on point jesus
Same here...
I’ve got frontal lobe damage, I can’t control my emotions. When my mum, dad, step mum, step dad and espy my sister died I felt blank. Relationships are effected badly, I am so impulsive I know what I’m doing is the wrong thing to do yet I’ll still do it. If I feel someone is not resorting me how I want I’ll not let it settle in my brain, I won’t stop thinking about it, I’ll keep going on about it, bombarding them with messages. If someone has seen my message and not replied I’ll get so anxious that they’re annoyed with me. I risk take beyond belief, I’m impulsive, I cannot problem solve, I can’t look at situations logically, my brain gets overloaded with a problem I can’t stop thinking about it.
Your video helped me more in 19 minutes than any of these doctors. I used to be animated in voice and speech but after someone I once called my best friend shoved me into my dresser I bashed my head on the corner of it and blacked out briefly never got a brain scan since I was too scared. Flat affect ever since, emotions 0 or 100 no in between and lowered empathy and impulsive decision making. Can relate to others here saying junk food makes them feel like they're on drugs. Swore off artificial sugar and wheat 2 years ago because they make me feel suicidal. I like your analogy about having a sprained ankle and expecting not feel pain or to walk perfectly. The more mindfulness and patience we apply to ourselves the better life can truly be. Eating high fat/high protein has helped me more than any medication. Really beautiful how you combine your personal experiences with your music. Keep it up you're really positively impacting people more than many doctors.
I have struggled so much with all this and the lack of compassion from people towards my recovery
I live this every day .. sad😢..
@@tomtbiya they cannot understand us
Me too, that's why I have isolated myself out in nature. No one understands me but Mother Earth....😢🪶
@@brianrochman1443 I relate to you
@@brianrochman1443 I see you
Dating a guy that had a brain aneurysm, i love him and its so hard...so difficult. Thank you for tjis as i am trying to understand him becuz i love him so much
I'm proud of you for reaching out. Hope it's going well with your boyfriend.
I definitely understood 3 years I’m coming up on. It’s like being a new person trying to figure out who you are
I finally understand "friendship" or "love'is now.
Having a brain injury and controlling our emotions is so difficult. I will start crying when I’m overstimulated and start apologizing bc I can’t stop the tears even though I don’t want to cry. 4 years in and very very difficult still.
Let me take a wild guess. Are you a woman?
Maybe you have pseudobulbar affect
I hope you're OK. I'm going through so much loneliness after my tbi because of my emotions. It helps knowing that you guys are out there . This injury has taken everything from me , even my friends and girlfriend...... so I feel pretty awesome all of the time lol. sarcasm intended . I've never been this alone before ..... the thing I want most in the world is someone who understands me and a hug .....
Getting angry just at the fact of trying
Yeah, I had a TBI at the age of 21. Lost my ability to read and took years to improve. All the while, struggled with emotional self control.
Time does it's healing.
I'm just exhausted all the time, everything takes 3 times longer to complete.
I cannot handle going into any stores and use Amazon for absolutely everything including groceries. Even when groceries are delivered directly to my door, I usually try to snag the delivery person and offer them an extra 20 bucks just so they will put them on the counter for me. it generally takes me 4 to 5 hours to put everything away with all of the breaks I have to take. It’s a very defeated feeling 🩷
I experience this almost daily. Emotional highs and lows are crazy! Anger is terrible. I know I get out of control but struggle to bring myself down. I have learned to walk away but that takes several minutes to figure out. 4months into my journey.
Thank you for sharing. The fact you are able to figure it out, even after several minutes, is a great step! That self-awareness can be one of the hardest parts. Being 4 months into your journey, I can confidently assure you that it will continue to improve and get better! The first year is the hardest. But you will also see a lot of improvement over time. You are not alone! -Cristabelle
@@hopeafterheadinjury 3rd concussion in 6 years. Last one being a TBI. Improvement will happen
You’re not alone. Much love 💜
My Jesus bless You. I help a person with a TBI whose in a wheelchair he gets overwhelmed easily.
Lonely that’s how I feel
Same
Same here. Noone understands.
Same here . Just feel like staying in my apartment all day sometimes ...
Same but I am here for you all hoping I can also move on from my injury and I'm learning now it's only been 4 months since my accident.
Same. I found out yesterday , it explains everything that has happened since my accident 2 months ago. I have to learn who the new person I have become is, and how to handle everything as a single mom. I don’t like that you all feel the same way; however, it gives me hope that I’m not alone in this uncharted territory ❤️
Very much what I experience daily. Well done for putting into words.
Well, if feels ODD to hear someone talk like she understands me. Thats never happened. Ive been dealing with these things since I was 16... & Im 45 !!! I had a Huge Hematoma with NO HELP from Dr’s. I went into my shell, as I’ve always called it. Lucky I had Great Friends that I could just give a look & they knew we needed to Leave NOW. I didn’t even put 2 & 2 together until a few years ago when I heard someone talking about the effects of a TBI. I Always knew something was wrong but there was No Name. It feels good, Thank You.......
From my experience, where other people interpret my reactions as frustration or anger, it's actually distress because I have lost control or can't express myself in ways other people accept as being "normal". I'm so sorry you're going through this too. Good luck with your continued progress ❤
I deal with very intense anger and sometimes don't want to leave my apartment....
So true.... you can't really put into words 😫.... it's crazy... early on, I was irritable with my family... me not wanting my family to deal with this.... I've been irritable outside my family at work and other family that don't live with me.... it's like I'm channeling it to others at work, etc... It's like I'm protecting my kids and wife but now target outside my house....
I have horrible outbursts ..makes me so upset that I can't control it
Same here ... I storm out a lot ...
@@tomtbiya totally get u guys
Thank you, I use videos like this to help me recognize and express to other what is happening. Will have have family member watch the video you/other person explain what is happening to me. Because I can not find the words.
Because others kept trying to tell me there is nothing wrong with me I started to belive it too. I hid and tried to overcompensate with evrything. Until I went back to school and realized what I used to do isn't working I HAD to face the truth. Your channel helped me see that it's OK to have a new normal and I need to find new ways of doing things. Thank you.
Felt like you were speaking directly to me. My situation has been exactly the same for decades. Thank you for sharing, Cristabelle.
Ryan, thank you for sharing this. It can definitely be a challenge when dealing with emotions.💙 -Cristabelle
It is so helpful to hear the experiences of others with an ABI. Both of my daughters married within 10 years of my ABI in 2003 and although I was proud and happy, I could not cry at their weddings. I no longer cry at sad movies but I still 'know' it's sad. Thankfully, I also don't have the opposite - emotional outbursts or anger. 20 years later, it can still take days to realize that someone was rude to me while I just sat there smiling and completely unaware of the rudeness or sarcasm. During covid, like most, I became much more reclusive. However in the past 6 months I have purposely become involved with my church as much as I'm able and find social activity does help. Still have some embarrassing moments in conversation or just greeting an acquaintance but am trying to gently inform. ABIs are a perplexity for sure!
I m told by my doctor that I will never go beyond 60 percent of memory...throughout my life
I needed these about 3 years ago. My s.o. had a stroke and I had never dealt with anything like it. A life saving surgery they weren't sure she was going to survive. Within 2 years everything described here came out and I had no idea how to deal. The relationship ended and not a word has been spoken in a couple months now. A jump in to another relationship on her part and now I am grieving a loss. I tried so hard to help her see things and it became frustrating to me. Felt robbed of the relationship we had. The person with the injury isn't the only survivor in these instances.
Going through this also myself... My so had a cardiac arrest, survived but has changed... No empathy, random decisions and left... Im heart broken on my own with our 2 young kids... How do i deal with this i dk
@kelliebarrett4793 it's been nearly 2 years now since this person and I split. Ran into each other at the gym and I quickly realized that person I once loved died that day. I would suggest getting yourself into therapy and doing things to love yourself. Go to the gym. Read. Meditation. Focus on you. That person you once knew is long gone now unfortunately and there will never be a way of getting them back. In doing the work on myself and focusing on me, I met an amazing person who is entirely better for me and I'm sure you will as well. There will still be anger at times and that's normal but this too will lessen in time
I just found out yesterday that I have a TBI from a car accident 2 months ago today. Your video encompasses everything I have been experiencing since the impact. Thank you very much for this insightful and honest feedback, you have helped me understand I’m not alone ❤ I’m struggling to learn who this new person is that I’ve become 😢
Same, but 4 months now
Since my fall (tbi) relations are impossible, people generally seem to think I'm just another asshole and I'm at the point that maybe they are right
Yes... I've had times where I feel like I can't control my emotions..... I've had times where I got lost coming to work.... I had a moment of feeling blank like I didn't know where I was... it feels like it lasted 1 or 2 minutes. I was driving, I knew I was in my city but I didn't recognize my location. This was my daily route to work..... but I got lost for a moment. My location became recognizable after me trying to figure it out....
Thanks for the information. I had my TBI in 2019 and it made my gf not want to be with me because of my constant mood changes and how I can’t run yet.
Thanks you soo much!!! Felt loss for a little my wife is going through this after our accident 3 months ago 😢
Thanks you❤
After my car accident and I had a concussion, I was flooding. I couldn't handle anybody talking to me. I couldn't handle asnoises even in apartment anywhere. I hate it hearing people talk. I felt like running away like get me on here. Get me out of here and it was how and people thought I was crazy and I thought I was crazy and then I went to a stage where I would sit there and I wouldn't get any housework done nothing for weeks. I forgot how to days I forgot. I'll do that and I thought what the heck is wrong. Just it's not me. What I hated is people saying oh you should have more self control. There are times when you try so hard and it just doesn't work. But as time goes on it gets better and when you can see some changes that our positive you feel so happy that you have at least seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
Once thing that happened to me I started learning a different language and I started liking a different culture and learning the music.
One thing that is wonderful is that you're never at a stage where you're not changing or not getting better.It just takes time there is still hope.
I hate the Trying as if I was some continental basket case.
Once you have a concussion, you are never the same person.It's almost like you're Morf into a different person.
Gurl I had a tbi in 2021 and my emotion is very strong and let me say it has great size and still works post brain injury
Back to work last week sometimes i get to feeling like a crazy person thanks for your work
I recently met someone who has TBI. This video really helps.
I deal with repeating myself,poor temper,dysregulation,poor multitasking skills,poor short term memory etc... sad😢... I have given up in love because I do not believe any woman could cope with my TBI -"quirks"... Sad...
This video was literally a blessing thankyou so much
I really wish there was more help for families. I don’t know how to get my child’s father to understand that even though he can’t help a lot of these behaviors, his reactions due to his ABI are really hurting our daughter who is little and can’t understand.
I try so hard to do the right thing by both of them but sometimes I have to put our daughter first, otherwise she grows up thinking that it is ok to be treated this way, and her feelings are hurt all the time. I feel like I am the enemy and I hate it so so much. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to help someone who doesn’t realize what they’re doing is hurting the people they love and who love them, who won’t recognize that this is an issue enough to try and get help for it. I cry so much about this.
That’s where I’m at too. It’s gotten to the point where all I can do is harm reduction. Which option is gonna make him less angry. But he’s always angry.
Try explaining on paper what goes on with the person who has the tbi. It's amazing how much children understand when you truly show them. ❤
I was in a severe horseback riding back when I was 21 I'm now almost 40 even though I look normal in how I walk and move and for the most part in how I talk, it still feels like a constant struggle more often and and nobody seize the amount of effort it takes each day and if you try to talk about it people start looking at you like you're making excuses and looking for sympathy when all you want is some understanding that you have things that you're struggling with and it doesn't seem like you're ever able to explain what you're going through or how you're trying to be the best version of yourself in the midst of it's all
You have no idea how this helped me. Thank you!
Since my brain injury people don't give a shit but I'm all good with that I know I can only depend on myself proud of you x
Iknow you see it Chrissy baby
Ppl don’t give a shit lololol I feel it too, almost 20 years post tbi. F the civvies
Thank you so much for your help, you are an angel on earth for doing this for so many. We do feel alone, we have god, who keeps us going, but to have humans be with us,helps to
Ty for this from a TBI survivor learning to live with this
just today i went from feeling about 60% normal, to suicidal and angry, to hyper sensitive, brain dead to empty in about 3 hours. it is like this mostly because I ate mostly bread yesterday. but I don;t have any supports and its been 18 months since I was tortured and knocked out over 200 times over 8 months and shaken with a jackhammer till i puked and passed out. Havn;t seen a doctor since i was threatened to be stabbed and even if i did, i couldn't make words or even make sense until 9 months later. having ptsd and this is making my life a nothing, have no money, just sold the last i had for 4$. the food i get form the food bank makes my symptoms worse, but i can't afford to eat properly. my brain needs protein, seem red meats can help, but that is a item i could only consume for about 2 weeks over the last 18 months.
About 6 weeks ago (can't keep track these days) I was able to see a video about anger managment then that is when I was able to identify the emotion.
I went to a Elvis concert and he started to sing and tears rolled down my eyes.
no facial expressions mostly. I did have a small short small grin happen, so I know I have emotions and can express them, but with no support from my country (Canada) I'm having difficulty to keep going and might just let the anger take over and take the law into my own hand before ending it.
Frontal lobe damage from accident from 2004 and still trying to figure it out. Flat affect when I need to show more and outburst when I should have not shown more. Not crying at funerals but crying when in isn’t a normal crying moment. Once in a while for a moment it’s like the old way of thinking becomes at least observable and just as quick as it observed it is lost.
Yo I had tbi june 16 2004, still tryna figure it out to!
It’s absolutely crazy, tbi emotions , almost 20 years for me
My emotions are all over the place.
Thanks. I have a tbi and everything you said is very relatable.
I know firsthand how difficult emotions are to deal with firsthand wirh TBI..
I had documented tbi in 97, 99, and 2008 following car wrecks and several undocumented concussions
My life has been nothing but a mess and I’ve sought treatment and always told the same thing
My emotions are extreme and unpredictable I’ve felt im going crazy and not sure how to fix it
My girlfriend 2 nights ago collapsed in the kitchen into a seizure that ended with me giving her CPR for 3 minutes until the paramedics showed up, the paramedics took 30 minutes of CPR to get her out of flatlining. Its day 2, she is breathing through a tube. This is so hard for me, whenever something bad happens she is there for me always, but she can't be here for this. I have to be strong for her and keep hope high but its so hard. I just hope she can get through this, her pupils respond to light and 2 days from now she will have her MRI
Exactly spot freaking on
Counselors or therapists just make u crazy
i love you- thank you.. also awareness on abuse for people suffering recovery tbi :(
Thank you for this. I’ve suffered from that for 24 years now front right lobe brain injury knowledge is power.
Yes it's great you made this vid. It's all about me daily. It's hard but I do my best to making myself better.. it little victories.
Yo yo we got this
Thank you again. It's so good to hear advice from a survivor!
Evan, Thank you for watching! So glad it could help! -Cristabelle
my brain injury may feel like a headache to a migraine headache that seems it never goes away.
My tears are flowing. Mostly joyful. Thank you so so much for doing this! Much love 💜🤙🏼
CZcams CZcams I
Victor
Thank you so much for the insight. This means so much to me in dealing with my son and the TBI he has to deal with.
It’s absolutely crazy, tbi emotions
This has helped so much thank yurrrr
I've never been so glad I"ve seen a video in my life.
Thank you!
Feeling flat thats me 1 year after tbi and anger too those are my only two emotions after that car accident, im glad you touch the subject, and also gives me hope when you say its going to get better, im into bicycling just to keep myself into something that helps, thank you for your efforts to help.
You make me happy, thank you for this video. 👍🏽❤️
I’ll b a yr in aug19 th. I’m so stressed out n get so angry quickly.I’ve been thru hell the last 2 yrs.. I lost my sons father feb 2022. 6 months later I had a fall that caused me TBI. It’s awful. I now have focal epilepsy,blackouts n sleepwalk.,n seizures I ..feel like I hate everyone cuz I don’t have a good support system. Everyone thinks I’m crazy, paranoid.I feel my brain literally hurt. ESP after a long day. I find it hard to gather my thoughts sometimes or concentrate on something fully. I misunderstand people and things a lot a lot of times I’ll read a text message and respond to it and then I’ll look again at the text message as it is I never saw it before and I see it in my self lol. Here’s a text and then realized I answered it and that whole conversation definitely gaps in my brain, it sucks if only people understand what we went through or going through. I’m wondering if anyone has hallucinations I know I have.
I do God bless you
I have tbi for almost 20 years
I feel like this lady knows me. Everything she says here describes me.
Great podcast. Thank you x
Ppl say I don’t get sarcasm , ya right
a real good topic about brain injury emotions. i believe high blood pressure might impact brain injuries, might feel vulnerable to pain.
I had a head injury in my car accident about 4 months ago my wife just left me because she said she's scared of me
I’m so glad I stumbled on your channel. I see this in my son (TBI) and often feel helpless how to help him or respond. Writing music is a great outlet for him, too. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Christine, Thank you so much for sharing this. It is wonderful that you are there as a support for your son, and just being there is more of a help than you may realize. I love that writing music is part of your son's journey too! I would love to hear it sometime! Hugs! -Cristabelle
@@hopeafterheadinjury it’s amazing! After his car accident, he picked up the guitar and started playing very naturally! Well enough to be invited to play with my worship team (I’m praying he’ll have the confidence to do that some day)! And you know, guys don’t really express themselves often-you are giving me great insight! Bless you 🤍
@@ChristineTrimpe Wow, that happened to me too! I started playing guitar not long after the injury! My other channel is czcams.com/users/cristabellebraden - I write and record Christian music now, and songs about going through brain injury. So glad this has helped and I would love to invite you and your son to my zoom Brain Injury Bible Study group and our zoom Hope After Head Injury groups!
@@hopeafterheadinjury Oh my goodness, that is so sweet of you. I would love to check out the details. I'm going to look on your channel and see if you have a contact email and I'll send you an email. Thank you!
@@hopeafterheadinjury0
This is so hard😢
You overreact from anything that even slightly would be difficult. It's just so wild
Same.😢
@@ashleytunget8457same
Stay strong stay positive stay safe everyone takecare sending luck hugs love from headway Nottingham UK you got this proud of you all well done keep going doing amazing things we are survivors xxx
Mindfulness is really important to track how you’re actually feeling and then having some core people that can be safe and supportive. Unfortunately not everyone has that support but there is endless mindfulness videos and breath work can help too, helps interrupt the fight or flight many get into when they’re overwhelmed. Good sleep and a lot of hydration is also really important along with a healthy diet, healthy fats, no sugar etc.
Thank You!
thank you this is so helpful🙏
Thank you, so glad that it is helpful! You are not alone!
I also act much more introverted than I am. I love meeting new people. I do sales for a living, and I attend a lot of big industry conferences. I often have to leave and go somewhere quiet so my brain can digest all the stimuli. People think I'm shy....but I'm just trying to process things. I also yell at people a lot when I'm frustrated and/or tired.
Thank you
Changes is hard.
Spot on every thing you have said are we same person lol keep strong keep positive keep going dont give up giving up isn't a option proud of you very x
Girl you on point 😂
I've had that not crying thing. I'm overexcited talking to an old classmates of mine. I've felt blank bf. Verbalisation is hard sometimes. I hey told to think logically.
I'm not alone 😢
Lets gooooooo
After my car accident back in 9/11/23 I have had a hard time processing daily task. I have had a hard time dealing with depression. I have had thoughts of suicide
a very painful road-but I know Christ my saviour is faithful
I got to the point that i stopped trying to get others to understand.
I started thinking about what Jesus said.Love your neighbor as yourself and so you have to love yourself in order to love others.So I stop trying to be people pleaser. Because you're a fear of people please.Are you open yourself up for abuse?And our heavenly father doesn't want us to be abused. You can love. Your neighbor as yourself but you gotta love yourself first. And that requires accepting what happened to you and and if other people can't understand well, it's not your problem. You're doing your guess and that's all that God has from ybut believe me, prayer helps. It really does especially when you feel this terrible motion coming on. You have to stop and you have to say oh, please give me the strength to keep ongoing or please help calm my heart or please help me with my thoughts. Oh, God, please. I need your strength. Because people never really understand what's going to your head.Even your counselor may not understand but our heavenly father.It does and he realizes that we're imperfect
Not trying to compare but fortunately God allowed me to retain some emotional function after my TBI . I still kind of flip flop between not knowing exactly how I feel and having so much emotion that it causes my brain to think I am in a fight or flight situation. That’s not the reason I stumbled over this video. I clicked on this video because I was having trouble getting dates due to my TBI . I have been looking for advice on this topic for a long time now and searched many dating videos. There are very few disabled dating videos in comparison to dating videos for fully abled people. Life is tough and if you’re nobody really gives a damn. We are just told to man up or people sit there and lie to us and say oh just be yourself there’s somebody out there for you. I am tired of the bull shit
Basic bitches cannot handle the greatness of tbi. U will find the right one
Yes this is so hard my daughter crying alot I don't if it's because she really don't understand why she in the hospital
Mine was a result of domestic violence. Super hard.
How about pseudobulbar affect? Is crying, laughing or smiling uncontrollable. In situations that doesnt fit
I rather avoid argument conflict confrontations most possible often.
Yep, outburtsts
Does anyone know of an online support group for brain injured people? I would love to feel I'm not the only one with my problems but yet, get tips and advice how to deal with the problems! 😃 thank you!!
They have almost no support groups for us. The Mets community is made up of a bunch if dumbass not brain injured civvies. Let’s make some kind of superhero academy for tbi thrivers like us!
I wish I've seen your videos sooner
So glad you are addressing this...Flat most of the time😑
Douglas, You are definitely not alone in that! Thanks for watching the video. -Cristabelle
Emotional lability also is a factor in failure to return to work...i know people run from the suggestion, but there are some medications that can help, but there isn't a cure per se...speaking as a survivor and psychiatric nurse...🤔 in some cases it isn't about not feeling it...it's about trouble expressing it...a kind of emotional "aphasia" Some folks suffer from Amusia, not well studied, but they can't appreciate music anymore...which sounds pretty awful to me. I bring it up because each survivor will have to find their own way to cope...🤔 many won't be able to write a song or musically express themselves...I know I can't...I can't hold my hand still after my second accident...another reason I had to stop ED nursing...but I believe that every survivor can find something...
If u don’t have a brain injury shut the heck up with that terrible advice
Since I fell off the side of a truck traveling over 50 mph I'm probably OK, cause my brain was beaten from all sides and stayed in place. 😑
I am not good at reading the room...
What if you got your head on the right slammed at a hospital 4 yrs ago
I had a brain injury and I can’t relate to any of this.
Then u prob had a little it’s baby head injury. What happened, did u blink too hard?