Pick-Up Artist Books Are A Scam
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- čas přidán 31. 12. 2023
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pick-up artist are definitely needed, its like watching a tragedy so you learn what not to do
Wow, who knew a book made by a pickup artist would be a scam 😮😅
Aspiring pickup ( cringed a li'l writing this) artists think it's their Bible.
You can't put an equation on 'pick ups'.
Women know what they want in the first 5 minutes of a conversation, same with guys, the rest is situational awareness.
Garnt saying 'loneliness sucks' is the problem.
People need to deal with loneliness to understand how they can deal with their own emotions, so that they come out complete people and not put themselves into another broken relationship.
Ehhhhh i mean people get in a relationship to avoid loneliness. We are social creatures. The whole sigma male "I don't need people" or "I'm a lone wolf" is cope. Loneliness sucks for a reason. It's your brain telling you to go out and find people
@@matten_zero
You're right that humans need social connections, but part of the issue is that, if people are getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons/are codependent, then the relationship could be a lonely one anyways (or one-sided if one person is carrying bigger investment in the relationship than their SO). Loneliness can be a feeling most people have regardless if they're alone or in a crowded place with friends/loved ones (or fake friends/loved ones, if they're getting into a relationship with anyone even if it's toxic/harmful in an effort to stave off loneliness).
That's why, for most people, loneliness is something people figure out internally, rather than expecting someone else to take on their personal issues and sour their relationships in the process.
I don't think "get used to loneliness" is the proper framing, more like "form other personal emotional connections through friends, family and community". People need people, but a healthy person doesn't rely on just one other person for that need.
@@Scarshadow666 fair points.
@@matten_zero I learned in my Philosophy class that we are social beings and we coexist with other beings. Simply, no one is an island
Tbh amongst Gen Z, because we are all so afraid of approaching, no one really approaches but i swear to you the moment you have the courage to go up to them you will stand out in their eyes so much even if you get rejected.
This was certainly my experience, the last 2 girls said that they were flattered but one was engaged and the other wasnt looking for romance atm.
90% of pickup artists all say the same. "Be confident" and thats true. But also if it were that easy there wouldnt be an issue
Pick-up artistry as a whole is a scam. Literally the get rich quick scheme of dating.
it didn't used to be. it used to be an actual group of people who taught each other how to be properly social in an era where there was no gurus or even internet to help you yet.
Unfortunately there's a lot of lonely men, with no role models, no friends, zero social skills, unprocessed trauma and horny as fuck.
Society needs to starts caring and guiding young men.
Healthy pick-up CAN work if you approach with the desire to make connections and socialize. I like to think of it as an intel-gathering mission. Your goal isnt really a date, but to create opportunities to meet people who can help you find people to date. The indistry might be kinda scammy in the expectation youre gonna get a date from it, but if you approach with the desire to find friends/acquaintances who COULD help you find a date, then yes it can definitely work.
That's not pick-up artistry, that's called just being a normal ass sane human being
@@st.haborym Not a lot of such people left after social media blew up. Looks like we humans are not designed to handle things like the internet.
@@st.haborym sure but there is an "art" to socializing. What you call "normal" is foreign to MANY people. Id dare say cold approaching people in general is a rare skill. Most people don't talk to their neighbors, most people talk to strangers as a general rule. Id gather to say the normal thing in 2024 is to avoid strangers.
It's wild how regular dating practices are considered 'healthy pickup art' nowadays.
@@ViktorBezK The internet is one of the single worst things to happen to society by far.
The problem with "Pick-up" artistry is that it tries to give a formula without actually addressing the problems that the guys that need it actually have
The Red Pill/Manosphere seems like its starting to give actual good advice but the problem is that there's an equal amount of shit advice there too. And a lot of guys have a hard time sifting though the shit so they take it all at face value
Exactly. Especially since the skills to "get a woman" are the same kind of basic social skills one needs to make any kind of friend. Trying to learn how to spit game before developing those basic skills is like trying to learn how to do a mile under 10 minutes when you don't even know how to walk.
Joey said it the best in one of the previous episodes. They will initially give good advice to pull you in, like excercising regularly, reading books, developing the healthy habit of critical thinking. Advice that even grown Teenager should know since their childhood . And once they have pulled you inside their Circle, they will promote some of the most horrendous and inflammatory ideas that involves being disrespectful to anyone who disagrees with your unequivocally egregious opinions.
@@sayantanmazumdar3 If you haven’t engaged with community then you’re going to stick with this surface level opinion. Yes this might be correct if you engage with repill groups but there are plenty of schools under the PUA that don’t promote that and focus on your development as a man to attract women.
@@MrKoolaidkid10
The problem is the community as a whole is sold on the title of "Pick Up Artist", not "Life Gurus for Emotionally and Socially Blunted Men". Even then those that do advertise as such fall into upholding patriarchal forms of thinking, like Jordan Peterson, when patriarchal thinking is what caused the problem in the first place.
@@fluidthought42 Many young men looking for shortcuts, sure. If they persevere and adapt, they will eventually find out the hard way (hopefully not too hard) that they need to address deeper issues.
It's not a healthy way to go about it. Unfortunately there is little to no good resources for young men. Society does not care about young men. They have to find their own way and it's no surprise they get scammed / exploited by internet guru's, as they desperately look for some actionable way out of their situations.
I remember my college classes saying that these books are required, and it was photography and film editing. I looked at them in the college book store, and it was just shit I could just look online (which is what I did).
My favourite icebreaker is “Your skin looks very firm”
It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again
As a socially awkward guy I was hooked on this shit in my teens. Fortunately I found a really good "guru" that kind of pulled away from pickup and went a much more personal and emotional and self-improvement route... But do NOT dismiss the power that loneliness, self-loathing and social pressure can have over awkward people.
Pick-up artistry is a symptom of quite a big problem, unfortunately. The solution is alternative solutions, like the guy I happened to find, and even people like Dr. K that just make reasonable info about how to be socially competent without trying to game the system... Not just disparaging the people that feel the need to resort to pick-up.
We need a whole episode about this!
I relate to Grant alot, I don't know how to take friend and the only loner in my class was a girl who sit behind me so I try to search and read a book how to socialize and pick up book just to gain knowledge how to talk to people, all I did was just nod my head and greet her and after a few days people saw a quite kid (me) try to get close to this girl and all people in the class talking behind my back (well I can hear them loud in clear tho) about how creepy I am for trying to talk to her and how creepy to see a guy who always alone and do nothing do something like talking to a girl just because she just as lonely making me a target for bullying and demonize me for trying to talk to someone, even I try to talk to someone else people call me creepy for try to hit on someone else, there's nothing I can do at that point, I wish society just be talk to me and be friendly with me instead of me trying to do it myself, but I guess that is too much to ask.
100% random guys just coming up to you and being sort of aggressive- flirting or whatever- is really off-putting. It's kinda creepy and instantly makes me feel uncomfortable and on edge. It doesn't matter how attractive or not the guy is. Especially for an introvert like me, it's too confronting. Normal people don't just do that...
"You can't just randomly approach people..." Dude, I saw a cute girl in the library. I went up to her and said, "Excuse me. Hi. You are really cute." We had a conversation, and I got her number. She then became my girlfriend. I would never have had that positive experience if I hadn't learned that going up to a girl and randomly talking to her could go well.
You guys are assuming you have to be a jerk when you do it. You don't. If the girl doesn't want you there, kindly tell her to have a nice day, and move on. You're right that there are plenty of fish in the sea. That's the number one thing legit pick-up artists teach-abundance mentality. As someone who used to have an unrequited love problem, this was extremely helpful for my mental health.
If you do it right, the vast majority of rejections come from women who still appreciate the compliment. There will, of course, be some women who are weirded out by it. Just disengage quickly in those cases in the nicest, least threatening way you can. What's the alternative? Shall I find the woman of my dreams just hoping she randomly drops into my social circle some day? Or shall I engage in the dehumanizing and depressing slog that is online dating? No. Screw that. I'm gonna go out there and find true love with an awesome meet cute like in a romantic comedy, gosh darn it!
The worst is when a university would force you to buy a new copy of the book by packaging a ONE TIME USE code for the online homework program with each copy. You couldn’t do the homework for the class and would automatically fail without buying a new book. And each code would only work for one student. And they were EXTREMELY strict about not letting those codes get sold or distributed without being attached to the sale of the whole book. Actually forced theft.
I studied this book for months, then I met a guy who did all the techniques in the book naturally. He's never read the book, but did all the techniques naturally.
And yes, he's that good with getting women.
It's keeping a relationship with that was the struggle.
The Game is legit, but I wouldn't recommend if you're looking for a long term relationship.
Same. I studied the book as well and a lot others. As Garnt said, It gave me a framework to work with and also I learned that these pickup artist are people who lack self confidence and want to feel that hole up by sleeping with girls, that understanding made me realize my own problems and with time I was able to fix the root. So yeah, the books are good not the people.
Connor’s thoughts that you shouldn’t approach people and you’re not deserving a conversation with a woman are valid but like… if you don’t know any women and you’re lonely, how are you meant to solve that loneliness if you don’t approach women and just stay home on the internet?
It's like when everyone has a masterclass. Now im buying alot of data analytics courses
I don't know why so many people feel compelled to have a take on PUA after openly stating they've never used it or know nothing about it and then proceed to strawman the whole concept by using low-hanging fruit examples they heard second-hand or otherwise dismiss the idea that seduction is a buildable skill. Having a moral objection to being too aggressive or transparently sleazy is NOT a refutation against learning how to get better at something that requires tact or skill. As a rule of thumb, you generally don't get better at a thing by not learning how. If you were to try to learn a sport by doing "what comes naturally" your going to spend a lot of time naturally getting your shit pushed in without understanding why. For a lot of men doing what comes naturally means staying home and surfing Reddit.
There's a lot of noise mixed in with the signal within the PUA community and you have to use some discretion with respects to whose advice you follow. But hand waving away the whole thing mostly out of ignorance doesn't make a lot of sense. If someone would like to offer an alternative I'm all ears.
I do think that pick-up artistry and flirting tips can be taught ethically and respectably. It is quite absurd that very little advice is given and that the expectation is to be thrown in the deep end and somehow learn to swim.
Exactly. I was in the same boat as Garnt - lonely and awkward. I also read the book and it helped.
Before that, nobody ever explained to me how people go from meeting to dating. And I asked! I talked with both male and female friends and they couldn't explain anything in a way I could understand. I think they tried, but couldn't explain what they knew with words. Thinking back, some of my female friends had pretty good advice, but it was out of context and I couldn't make sense of it at the time.
Most of us aren't.
Said Connor, of all people... CONNOR
Connor, what are you on about? You ARE a very attractive young man.
yes, the onee-san number culture is also one of the reasons why GAME was really important to learn FOR ALL cultures cuz if you don't, you end up nurturing toxic creeps like that. funny enough, 8:40 is actually one of the first things you learn in GAME too.
Those pickup guys ruined my 20s
Why is “the game” in the thumbnail? That book is pretty anti pick up artist by the end.
How about you watch the video?
prett self explanatory
Clearly they are taking advantage of the easily duped
Garnt did pull Sydney...
Paying 500 dollars for tinder... uk you can go to a strip club or other things to fill that need need. Genuinely pathetic and nonsensical.
This is what mindbugle me. I would rather pay 1000 bucks for actual prostitute rather than 500 bucks for Tinder.
Sure, but why you so angry?
like with many thigns theres good and bad pick up artists
I lost
The biggest problem I see is 2-fold. First, people will criticize cringe videos of guys trying to pick up girls without realizing that it's like making fun of fat guys going to the gym. Of course they're cringe, that's why they're doing it because they need help. The second part is that after criticizing the vast majority of people will not have better advice as an alternative. Guys turn to pick up because the general advice of "just be yourself/confident" is useless, but it's the only thing most people can say when they don't have the experience to come up with specifics.
Ultimately, making fun of pick up is like making fun of a comedian who is just starting out bombing in front of crowds trying to build up his resilience and then refusing to get up on stage yourself to show people how it's done. Deep down dating is way harder than it should be due to the ego of both men and women. Men oversimplify to hide that they don't actually know what they're doing or why it worked, women oversimplify to hide that it is in fact very possible to notice patterns in what women want and adjust your strategy accordingly, because that would suggest they aren't as unique as they wish they were.
@JohnJohnson27-cs6ix You're literally proving my point. Not only are most people not wanting or knowledgeable enough to help men, but they also go out of their way to assume bad intent. It's easier than walking someone through an interaction successfully, or humbly admitting they don't know anything beyond extremely basic "don't harass women" type advice.
@JohnJohnson27-cs6ix I'm sorry dudes helping each other get laid with women is this offensive to you. 🤣
out of genuine curiosity, whats the religion?
It's not called the pick up community. It's the red pill community lol.
If you’ve never picked up a woman then you will never understand how it’s possible. It might seem like a waste of time and it is for majority of dudes but with some effort, trail and error you can definitely take a woman home the same night you meet her.Even in Japan.