The Time John Mulaney Accidentally Got a Prostate Exam
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- čas přidán 24. 05. 2019
- As someone who’s always anxious, John Mulaney once tried to get a Xanax prescription from his doctor, only for his plan to go horribly awry.
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"Oooooooooooo"
-John Mulaney
*I’m **_S o R rY_*
John "OOOOOOOOOO" Mulaney
THAT PART GOT ME SO BAD LOL
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@Potterhead-wg7vz ah grr *throws glove away*
"So I pulled up my pants and shuffled away...feeling different."
"you look different" - batman
@@smosmilesmom "let's do it"
Feeling gay
"And he yells out into the gall and he goes 'HEY WE'RE DOING A BLOOD TEST'"
It's the shuffle for me
The best out of context sentence ever: "I wake up and I'm covered in sweat, lying on the observation table I wake up I open my eyes and I see Batman's face, he's looking at me and he says "you gotta go".
WHERE IS IT?!?
Edit: "WHERE IS IT?!?" batman screams in my face as a reference to the movie
NPC somewhere near 7:10
7:21
Then Batman gives you money for a cab, and you feel so _used_ but it was the wildest night of your life.
@@Rime_Thyme - you're eleven -minutes- seconds awaaaaay!
-from the time stamp :)
Close enough (:
He is the gayest straight male I've ever seen. I love it.
You clearly haven’t seen Sebastian Maniscalco
Have you seen JoJo
He is a proud Asian American woman, and you will respect him!
He's an old queen, what're you talking about?
Super Neko Majin who just want to feed his birds
i will never not laugh at his delivery of "some of you are ahead of me"
I think "some of you are already behind me" would worked better.
@@rafalsadowski i think it's better written but not in stand up. you'd want people to get it quick
LOL! Honestly....out of this entire clip, the line that killed me the most was...
*"And he was wearing reading glasses....to show that time had passed."*
Something about that joke...and the timing of it...is just too perfect. Laughed at that more than anything else...and it was all funny.
Some of you are ahead of me
The doctors behind you
It's like Mike Birbiglia's "I am also in the future."
"oh sTICK IT IN I AM AN AMERICAN"
I love your profile pic
GEORGE 😂
Your profile picture says it all
@@sparksketchbook808 hahahaha ...... I was gonna say the same
I'm sure that's in the constitution, somewhere...
“Accidental” and “prostate exam” are words that by no means should go together😂
but totally should in this situation
And definitely should not in this situation
Yeah, just like "Brace for impact!"
“BRACE FOR EXAM”, he said placing both hands on your shoulders to help brace you
Who else first learned about prostate exams from that one episode of Family Guy?
batman “too blessed to be stressed” nurse is my favorite mulaney character, right next to jukebox john
Mine is the old man who's too old to be a duckling
Thaissa Henry J. Finch IV?
@@sugar-rice exactly, thank you! "Mary, can't you see? I'm a duck now."
WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT WOOOOOOOOAH
gayesper jukebox John is also the John that smashed a 40 and yelled “scatter!” at jake mcnamera’s houseparty
"No that's okay, I was LYING, it was a LIE, to get drugs, you know? Like a crime."
I died
Gets me every time
I say “I was LYING, it was a LIE.” on a regular basis
All I could think of at that part was “You know, like a liar.”
@@1classikai do you know where I can find that clip?
"you know, like a crime."
tomitstube thank you
something funny is that as soon as I saw this comment, John actually said it
@@neomoons296 me too, strange
tomitstube “you know, like a liar.”
@Oliver Dreyer aaaaaaaaaaaa@a@@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaa@@aaaaaa@aaaaaaa@a@aaa@aaaaa@aaaaaaaaa@aaaaaaaaaaaaaa@aaaaaaaa@@aa@aaaaa@@a@a@@@a@@@aaaa@@@@@aaa@@aa@aaaa@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@a@aaa@aaa@aa@a@aaa@
“and so far he’s had to deal with OhOooOOohH and I’m SoRrYy”
lmao
"And he didnt even let me off the hook, ya know?"
Imagine if someone shat into your hand and went “I’m sORRy”
And then, the doctor ate it.
@@patrinizer346 I'm so fucking tired of seeing what people say
@@patrinizer346 why do we always end up here?
PATFORMER why
Damnit @@patrinizer346
John Mulaney talks like a young priest giving a homily to teens
The bread of bread is breeeaaad
that's not how priests dress XD
not to be that guy but you probably mean a pastor
@@ashleyjohnson9651
And ALSO WITH YOU
@@debaucheryscenes Nah, he's very much Catholic
Needs anxiety meds, does the anxious thing to hide anxiety.
Fucks us over all the time
WHO CARES WHAT HUMANS THINK NEGATIVELY ABOUT PEOPLE FCK THEM
you too
If anyone reading this is struggling with anxiety I would really recommend looking into Andy Cutlers work, reading the success stories is very helpful but also the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price site is great at explaining it well. Wish you all the very best
@@reneehannan6924 I have severe anxiety and Idgaf what people think of me. That's not where anxiety train is heading. Because having anxiety is like having a little window in your mind into the absolute worst timeline, where saying the wrong word at the same moment somehow results in you dying cold and unloved under a bridge. The shit I worry about doesn't even make sense to anyone but myself. For example ever since we've installed the new dishwasher I worry about the tube thing getting loose and causing water damage. Is it reasonable? No. Do I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat thinking "water damage!"? Yes. Now, applying that mindset to interaction with other people, something that is unpredictable? Nightmare.
I almost pissed myself at "I'm soooorry". Not 11 times though
12?! i would say to get the checked out but we know how that ends
Katie is this you?
Haha I love how it zoomed in on his face when he did 😂😂😂
How many times? We might need you to have a prostate exam.
@@bobbob-fj4cr ?
"All of his jokes were very anti-work, which is not always what you want from a healthcare professional"
or Batman...
He should've known not to leave the house to go to a secondary location.
He should have thrown 50 dollars in a money clip! STREET SMARTS!
To prevent this all from happening, he should've thrown some money, yell "YOU WANT IT, GO GET IT?" and run away
@@Kn1feShift STREET SMARTS
StrEeT SmArts
NO, I AINT GOIN TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION!!
My favorite part of this is how John’s voice cracks a bit on “he stuck his hand in”
same. more people need to recognise this.
4:33
He still feels the pain of that traumatic experience.
It does!! He kinda sounds like Joey richter in that moment
@@luizasabbaga592 HE DOES
When i got a prostate exam my doctor kept both if his hands on my shoulders to comfort me
Great guy
Lol...
Wait-
This is CURSED
My brain is messed up...
Holdup
No one:
Not a single soul:
John: *o o o O o O o O o O O H*
Im sorrrry
4:52 for oooOoOoOoOOH
5:54 for I'm SoRrY!
6:08 for oooOoOoOoOOH and I'm SoRrY!
LMAO THANKS
John Mulaney: Power Bottom
This is either a blessed or cursed comment
@@Styxintheriver it's both. perfectly balanced as all things should be
He can do anything.
Blursed comment
Katie Kibbe DaNG It I WAS ABOUT TO CoMmENT THAT
"...and he was wearing reading glasses, to show that time had passed." Truly a writer's comedian.
NESherv i didn’t get it
I didn't get it can you explain?
@@noname-hf9ty John Mulaney's style of storytelling is very self-aware. In other words, he's not afraid to break the fourth wall and wink at the audience when he wants to add a little detail.
By saying that Batman was wearing reading glasses "to show that time had passed," he is comically suggesting that Batman's only reason for wearing glasses on that day was to better serve Mulaney's story. That's why it's funny.
a shame the video cuts a few seconds short, the delivery of that joke would be better if we get to hear the crowd's reaction
@@NESherv alright I get it now hahahahahah that is creative I like John Mullaney 70% more than before now
"The doctor left the room, so I'm alone with Batman" Jesus Christ
don’t take the Lord’s Name in vain 🥰
@@oliviagrace6914 Thanks for the tip, but I think I will :)
@@oliviagrace6914
It's truly bizarre to me, how many people think the religion they were born to or found is the one "true" religion.
@@pryingeyes1551 hey, sounds like the religion is doing their job if their followers think they have the one true religion.
@@oliviagrace6914 don’t take Batman’s name in vain
"I can't believe that John Mulaney was a drug addict!" which was commonly said about a comedian who's most famous routine is about lying to a doctor so he could get access to controlled substances.
Tbf he was open a lot him beating his addictions, and did a routine about how he doesn’t look like a druggy and was in fact ok drugs all the time
that ghost? that was the spirit of the long lost twink Mulaney never was escaping
IKR i was like, “sounds pretty gay to me man”
no dude, it was the dead victorian girl, penelope, OR WHATEVER HER NAME WAS.
LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
@@unmasc omg your profile pic
@Michael Mell could say the same to you. we stan be more chill. 👏
This was my introduction to this tall child and it encapsulated him so perfectly. It's already one of my fave standup set
you mean this asian american woman? 🤣
Amaterasu should have been able to transform into a Doge. She should have, she should have
Quincy 1k like
HOLY CRAP IS THAT AN OKAMI PFP
Mine was the salt and pepper diner and it was in a animation and now I'm addicted
Oof, “Xanax is fantastic” hits different now…
“ooOOOOOOOOHHHHhhhhmmm”
“ii’M sOoRrY”
This man is the epitome of humor. But I will never forgive him for forcing me to explain to MY GRANDPARENTS what a twink is
How did they respond to that?
I should not have searched that on Google images. A big mistake I tell you ! (o_O)
@@radioactive_baby0706 they were just like "oh haha that makes the joke more funny"
@@amrithkiran.a425 You poor child
I want to add don't click on google image when you look for twink...
This is probably the funniest, best delivered narrative joke I know of. Truly a gem --- Mulaney is a comedic genius.
So this is the only narrative joke you've ever heard huh?
i recommend:
1. party story
2. delta airlines
3. salt and pepper diner
:)
@@sahayeda5220 Oh, I'm familiar.
@@IWillHarvestYourToes no it's not
Jay the hell is your problem? You have a prostate exam go entirely too far or something?
In retrospect, I think that we had some clues about John's drug problems. He was just so hilarious and charming about it that we forgot to be concerned.
@vanessa jones bruh shut up that is so ignorant
That’s how a lot of us get away with it :/
Is Xanax legal in the UK?
@@venomousbunny9875through prescription
"You're nit gonna faint"
"So..."
SENT ME😂
Kunpimook Bhuwakul's nail polish EVERY TIME HAHAHA
i've been waiting for this to hit youtube for AGES
it's been on other channels
@@zizinnnn a lot of other channels
Same
I have seen this stand up probably 20 times. Still funny.
Me either
What special is it from?
@@shelbytomy07 me either dont make ANY sense.. but I totally get it.
J. Byron new in town
i fall asleep listening to it every night lmao
“Some of you are ahead of me”
Love that your comment has 69 likes.
The way his voice wobbled when he said the doctor, "stuck his hand in" was hilarious
i'M SoRrY!!!
i heard this comment 😂
What that part came around, I choked on my spit
I CRIED!!! 😂😂😂
*OOOhHHhHHhHhH*
For some reason whenever I listen to this one, I always picture T-Bo from iCarly as the Batman nurse.
Same!!
TeaRoses that is the best thing I’ve ever heard oh my gosh
OMG yes! I can definitely see that 😂
That's beautiful
Yooo what 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭now I cant unsee tht
Imagine youre in the doctors office waiting room and then you hear “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU IM SOWWY!” coming from one of the rooms.
Some y’all be afraid to moan in ya girls ear but I be like: 4:53
OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooomm
DNWNDJEJF
“He smiled at me and he was wearing reading glasses to show time has passed.” Brilliant!
Scott Tesfaye I don’t get it 😭
lovedandlossed It’s a sign that the doctor has stopped being silly and has matured with the passing of time
@@PlanetMint when did he say that lol
Ava Gonzalez around the end
@@JMRandNJJislove sometimes in movies and tv shows, they'll do a flash forward where not enough time has passed that a character would look significantly different, so they'll have a character wear something to show that the character is different to how they were before the flash forward. Mulaney has worked on tv shows before so he's probably referencing this trope (I'm also gonna go out on limb and say that aside from the glasses he didn't look too different, causing them to stick out more).
*me*
Oh! I suffer from frequent urination......
*after video ends*
I guess I'm not suffering from frequent urination.
you probably actually should tell a doctor about that, don't let the fear of a prostate exam scare you away because peeing a lot could be a sign of a serious problem
@Daniel Henderson its not really a whoosh, the person got the joke
Haha. I bruised my tailbone and found out the doctor might do a rectal exam if I got it checked out. Decided I was good with giving it time and NOT going to the doctor.
We should’ve seen the warning signs sooner for John.
“I was going to get a Xanax prescription. I don’t know if anyone here has had Xanax before, but it’s fantastic”
“You know, like a crime!”
I died laughing.
Lololll he literally has anxiety because this is the stuff shit people do who have anxiety 😂😂😂😂
@huskersmaster Right!😂😂
He only opened the joke with "I have anxiety".
self diagnosis in a nutshell "I/he/she shares symptoms of anxiety so I/they MUST have it, right????"
@@barkoameowmeowasmr he has said he has anxiety before
@@heyryanisonx3141 self diagnosis most likely. If he had a proper diagnosis he wouldn't have had to do all this lol
Damn drew gooden looks hella weird in this
I didn't know Drew Gonzalez did stand up comedy
@@jungkookieisacutie9602 This has so many layers
@@SchoolComedyThursdaychannel indeed it does
That's such a dumb joke
Because we all know this is Danny Gonzalez.
JungKookie is a Cutie! i know this is a joke but he actually had before and its the best
Hearing a funny Xanax story from John Mulaney in 2019: *Happy Mr Incredible*
Hearing the same story in 2023: *Distorted Mr Incredible*
I don't get it
@@F.R.E.D.D2986John went to rehab due to drug addiction in late 2020, and one of the several things he was abusing was Xanax
this bit is so disturbing once you’ve seen him spiral down and the Baby J special where he talks about Dr Michael
Barry Allen altered the timeline again
I was thinking he looked like Grant Gustin the whole time.
Lmao
So does that mean we’re on Earth II?! That’s some bullshit
Finally, someone thinks the way I do! Thank you.
Groen Gras oH MY GOSH THATS WHO HE REMINDS ME OF WOAH
I once saw this comment on one of his stand-up videos that said he looks like the gay James Bond villain that promised himself he wouldn't fall in love with Bond, but does anyway. And that comment haunts me.
Is that concept something you enjoy? If so, if you haven't already check out the music video for the song "Genghis khan" by miike snow, you won't regret it
Lachlan Edwards But it is so accurate
What about now 😅
I saw that comment like an hour ago too!
This is literally the opposite of what you should do in a doctor's appointment and I am scrEAminG
dude his skin GLOWS, what highlighter he using
He is damp. He talks about it in his latest bit I believe. I think he has a condition.
@@KINDaf “He is damp” is so fucking funny to me for no reason
@@KINDaf I think I actually know someone like that
Drugs, he was using drugs
The doctor hitting his sweet spot 😂😂😂
r/suddenlygay
@@samanthavialpando4050 found the reddit user
Rene montes r/yep
🤔🤨😐😶😮🙁☹😟😩😫😖🥴😱🥺🤢
R/suddenlygay
OH STICK IT IN IM AN *A M E R I C A N*
"PSshS YoU'rE NoT GoNna FAiNt" However comma
Dr Michael must be jealous
How can John Mulaney be THIS good at standup? Is it just me or is he like waaay better than every other stand up comedian I've ever seen.
I'm watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and the show made me appreciate stand-up comedians even more, John Mulaney especially
I love John but better than any other stand up comedian? Absolutely not. Maybe in top 10 all time but probably not, maybe top 5 current. There is some greats though who are way ahead of him. Pryor, Carlin even Dave Chappelle. They are on a different level. But I really do love John, he is excellent at his craft.
Kyle Kinane tells some pretty good stories too.
John is good, but Tim Hawkins, Dave Chapelle, and Nate Bargatze are better imo.
Mulaney is really good though
@@Tmacademia Nate bargatze is one of my favorite comedians
This is exactly why I love John Mulaney: He always has some crazy story to tell! And on top of that he somehow never gets embarrassed from it, which is even more impressive because HOW?
Jason Podell maybe he finally got the xanax prescription
He bares it all for the sake of the joke
Jason Podell Because it’s usually at least partially made up.
"It was as if a ghost had been trapped in my belly and finally flew out towards the light..."
That's some great writing right there. 10 out of 10 comedy.
I bet the friend who told him how to get xans was Pete Davidson 😂😂
Talent: Original story, perfect timing and delivery, and reading/responding to your audience. In your own voice. Damn fine.
Haha, "This might as well happen" ;) 3:40
Lol
7:47.
The realization that he went through all of that for absolutely nothing just kills me. XD
This is even more funny now in 2023 knowing that he likely didn’t even NEED the Xanax
cried laughing the first time i saw this
I lost my shit at work I couldn't even hide it
provacativemoose interesting choice of words there 😏😄
Love how he refers to the guy as batman
When he said “IM SORRY” I burst out with laughter, I haven’t done that in a long time.
The “I’m sorry” killed me
He's going to absolutely love his first colonoscopy.
Anne-droid fuck off the put you under for that
The colonoscopy is no problem, it's having to drink a whole gallon of that stuff that suspiciously looks and tastes like Prestone anti freeze radiator fluid. My advice to other people, tell the pharmacist you want the lime flavored one. Drink it at home on ice mixed with a little salt and tequila, that way the afternoon and evening won't be a total waste. Oh yeah, never stray farther than 20 feet from the bathroom.
Frank Kolton i’m still gagging from the taste of 4 liters of salty slimy liquid i had to take one year ago for my colonoscopy
@@frankkolton1780 well now I'm wondering how you know what the antifreeze tastes like…
i made them knock me out with anasthesia before they did coz NOPE
A doctor did a similar procedure on me two years ago. It feels exactly how he described. The doctor gave me a towel to “clean myself up”. Me thinking he meant poop asked, “how bad is it?”
He was actually just talking about cleaning off the lubricant he used
ChoklitThundah lol
O=O
That "sometimes I get nervous on airplanes" killed me everytime
"it was as if a ghost was trapped inside my belly and finally flew out towards the light" such a poetic way of saying he moaned 😁
"And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time had passed."
HAHAHA!
I don't get that part, can you explain?
@@jackmichael448 sometimes in movies and tv shows, they'll do a flash forward where not enough time has passed that a character would look significantly different, so they'll have a character wear something to show that the character is different to how they were before the flash forward. Mulaney has worked on tv shows before so he's probably referencing this trope (I'm also gonna go out on limb and say that aside from the glasses he didn't look too different, causing them to stick out more).
I have a friend with a story so similar to this but it happened when he was 17 and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life
These jokes hit differently in 2023
And then he found a doctor that gave him all the pills he wanted😭
Yeah, but he still had to do degrading things to get them.
"My name is Barry Allen and I am the FASTEST man alive"
if hes the fastest man alive maybe that's why he can't get a date
@@mossman2353 you and Hawkgirl would get along very well
"My name is Barry Allen and SOMETIMES..."
@The_ Under_Xans bro...
@The_ Under_Xans bro?
For those who have never seen these incredible comedian, this story is just the tip of the iceberg
thERE’S A HORSE LOOSE IN THE HOSPITAL!
DUCKLINGS!
He got that Xanax prescription all right
Dr Michael rn:
at least dr michael didnt wanna give him a prostate exam every time he came
Someone said that he speaks Like This, Where You Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word, and goddamn that is fucken accurate
I feel so represented by the carnival voice
YES
"Feeling *different* "
“And he was wearing reading glasses. To show that time had passed.” Was just the perfect way to end that lmao
"So I had to pick a number enough to warrant a doctor's visit, so I pick *ELEVEN* "
“Stick it in, I’m an American” that will be tattooed on my ass😂
I'm a med student and i always wondered how (embarrassed) the patients felt when i examined them this way.
Maybe i shouldn't have known.
We're like 'Hey! What's your name?'
2 mins later: 'Pull your pants down.' -\_(•_•)_/- .
fairly adorable pancreas your username 😂😂😂
*gasp* you mean this man had a drug problem? Never lolz
He should have just gone to Dr. Michael.
John is hilarious!!!!!
His voice and delivery is awesome!!
my brain at 2 am every single night: 6:07
Drop the snap
now knowing that he was addicted to xanax this hits different
Gotta love when the last joke is basically calling out a narrative trick, my authoring ass loves that
John poppin xannies
ThiccMac hella barred out you can barely understand me
I completely relate - that's what prostate exams are like.
I got my first prostate exam in my early thirties for two reasons: I wanted a clean bill of health, and it was free as part of my annual check-up. It was probably the worst that I ever felt in my whole life. I learned something that day: I don't always have to get all the free stuff... they can have other costs.
“And, he was wearing reading glassed to show that time had passed.”
Fucking comedy writing gold.
I feel like “Ah! We are approaching Martinique!” is such an underappreciated line in this
For some reason that always gets me
I liked that one too, and with the exaggerated accent, it was *chef's kiss*
Baby J It REALLY changes that xanax story
the amount of second hand embarrassment i got for him is overwhelming
Baby J before rehab, it all makes sense now
The bit about trying to get a Xanax prescription hasn’t aged great tbh lol
are you kidding? after his newest special this has aged AMAZINGLY. if he was still on drugs it wouldn’t be funny but because he’s off them it’s very funny
It was always a story about a guy trying to sneak his way into getting drugs. I think laughing about it the first time meant having to accept or hand-wave that part away.
@@Diego24fpsexactly. he makes it very obvious, he just wasnt getting all into it