What is trauma? The author of “The Body Keeps the Score” explains | Bessel van der Kolk | Big Think
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- čas přidán 16. 09. 2021
- What is trauma? The author of “The Body Keeps the Score” explains, with Bessel van der Kolk
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Contrary to popular belief, trauma is extremely common. We all have jobs, life events, and unpleasant situations causing us daily stress. But when your body continues to re-live that stress for days, weeks, months, or even years, that stress changes your brain, creating trauma inside your mind, and that trauma can eventually manifest in your physical body.
As you can see, trauma isn’t what happens to you, but how you respond to the traumatic situation. Something that is traumatic to one person may be no big deal to the next. Whether something becomes traumatic or not has a great deal to do with who’s around you while you experience this event. Were you alone and scared, were you comforted by friends and family?
The problem with trauma is that it starts when something happens to us, but that’s not where it stops - it changes your brain. Once your brain changes and you’re in constant fight or flight mode, it can be hard to stay focused, feel joy, or experience pleasure until this trauma is healed. Luckily, modern psychological practices are developing innovative ways to heal from trauma that actually work.
Read the video transcript: bigthink.com/series/the-big-t...
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About Bessel van der Kolk:
Bessel van der Kolk is a psychiatrist noted for his research in the area of post-traumatic stress since the 1970s. His work focuses on the interaction of attachment, neurobiology, and developmental aspects of trauma’s effects on people. His major publication, Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body, and Society, talks about how the role of trauma in psychiatric illness has changed over the past 20 years.
Dr. van der Kolk is past President of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School, and Medical Director of the Trauma Center at JRI in Brookline, Massachusetts. He has taught at universities and hospitals across the United States and around the world, including Europe, Africa, Russia, Australia, Israel, and China.
Check out Bessel van der Kolk's latest book, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” at www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Sco...
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Read more of our stories on trauma:
Trauma in childhood leads to empathy in adulthood►► bigthink.com/mind-brain/child...
Been traumatized? Here's how PTSD rewires the brain►► bigthink.com/philip-perry/bee...
PTSD Doesn’t Only Reside in the Brain►► bigthink.com/philip-perry/pts...
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The worst part of being traumatized is that people expect you to behave as if you aren't.
Yup. "I can't talk to you when you're like this." It still rings in my head.
Or when people compare trauma, unable to see that 1) they don't know what it's like to be like you and 2) everyone reacts differently to things. Nobody takes it seriously as an adult and I'm tired of it.
They expect you to be a warrior. It's hard to turn the deer with the broken leg into a warrior. The lions have a huge advantage.
@@gamezswinger The only way to manage that is hiding long enough for your leg to heal, and staying close to the trees.
(i.e. give yourself time to recover and avoid stressors as much as possible)
Then again, everyone's situation is different. I'm just relating your analogy to my own experiences.
@@bismuth7398 What if the leg doesn't heal or heals very little?
Trauma isn’t always something so obvious either (rape, assault, traumatic accident, near death experience, etc…) it can be subtle but equally as harmful on our mind and body.
For example, I grew up with an absent father and an emotionally unavailable mother. That had more of an impact on me than the sexual abuse I experienced at the age of 21 ever did.
I constantly felt like a burden to everyone and like it wasn’t safe to trust anyone or to share my feelings with anyone. I experienced severe social anxiety, anorexia binge/purge subtype (almost died from that) and alcoholism.
The body keeps score and sometimes it’s as simple as our parents not giving us the care and attention we needed as children.
Hope things get better for you youd deserve it
my most impactful traumas were the most mindfucky ones that were less obvious or looked good from the outside. The fact that they are less clearly abuse in itself made it more traumatic. Its like the world and yourself constantly gaslights you about it til the end of time even after you discover the trauma.
Do you think growing up without a father also counts as trauma? My dad died when i was young.
Wishing you the best! 💖
@@AtomicWhiskers yes it most definitely does. Wishing you the best :)
@@carloferretti8956 thanks so much! 💜🥺
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Please does anyone know where I can get them? I put so much on my plate and it really affects my stress and anxiety levels, I would love to try shrooms
Psychedelics saved me from years of uncontrollable depression, anxiety and illicit pill addiction. imagine carrving heavy chains for over a decade and then all of a sudden that burden is gone. Believe it or not in a couple years they'll be all over for treatment of mental health related issues.
@Micheal Harris Is he on instagram?
@Micheal Harris Can dr.sporess send to me in Ny?
I have been a loyal customer of Dr.Sporess for many years, but I found out yesterday that his shrooms are not good quality and that reviews are fake. DO NOT BUY I was hospitalised for a week it was EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL and i may NEVER RECOVER from the awful shrooms Dr Sporess sells
As a child, I’ve been through a lot of emotional, verbal and physical abuse. Now I’m 19 and in a constant state of survival, I have no idea how I can live normally and healthily
Hie there. I'm really sorry to hear about that. Is therapy accessible to you?
Talk therapy with Nurofeedback can be beneficial also research brainspotting,emdr, stay strong in your recovery
That's why you need to talk to professionals who can help you. The quicker you do? The better your life will be when you are older. If money is an issue paying for treatment? Look for support programs, support groups. Don't let it go years.
@Anne🤍 ah, I did not know that. My apologies.
@Anne🤍 I care because I have been there. I experienced a plethora of childhood trauma. 16 foster homes and a mountain of abuse. Through professional help and self discovery I became a better person and partner. So, change can occur if you allow it too. Good luck with your future and don't give up.
I had a violent childhood. My mom shot my dad, and my step dad went to prison for murdering a man in a bar. My brother was 16 years older than me and a violent alcoholic.
People like this man have changed my life for the better. I don't let my past control my present and future any more
Please take care. Glad to hear that you are in a better place now.
Take care bro
Respect.
Your story motivated me. Keep going no matter what my friend!
Wow thank you for all the positive comments!
This man quite literally saved my life. I found a mind-body modality, did the work, and live the most peaceful and happiest of lives. It all started with The Body Keeps the Score. Thank you dr van der kolk for your work.
Whats a mind body modality?
What does it feel like to be free from it
@@SP-qi8ur i think what they mean is based on around a psychosomatic level. how issues of the mind (emotional issues like repressed anger bc of trauma) manifest as illness in the physical body when trauma is left unaddressed.
@S P , I think they meant they found a certain practice that they took up like yoga or meditation or breathing exercise that helps their body and mind unravel the trauma stored there.
Likewise, I found out about EMDR in that book and it radically helped overcome trauma over an 8 month period
The worst part of trauma (for me, for my own part) is that you never feel safe and secure no matter how much others you know say that they love you. Worse than that, is that every day, you feel unsafe and unsecure because the traumatic event keeps getting relived in your mind.
Tom Sisson
Even worse is when the trauma stops you from forming any relationships in the first place
I can relate to you. Thanks for sharing this 💜 Sending you love 💕
I can definitely understand this. I have not felt safe in my body for over a decade now and swing wildly from hyper aware of the attention and signals I get from men in order to know when to clam up or to the opposite where I am fairly disassociated in the moment. Only 2 exes have noticed that I dissociate, and they have experienced much more trauma than me, so I’m guessing they know what it looks like. But for anyone who hasn’t experienced a similar trauma, I don’t know how to explain it so that they understand.
I really connect with your comment about never feeling safe and secure, and I’m sorry you’re on this side of knowing what it feels like.
The worst part is people being offended by your behavior like "how can you be afraid of _me_ ?"
I can't control it man, it's not your fault but nor it's mine.
I need his book.
Been wishing for healing all through these years, it's truly very crippling many people won't understand.
I just want to encourage people. I was diagnosed with a combination of anxiety and depression many years ago. I went on medication, we tinkered with the dosage and combination, I did talk therapy, then I got introduced into shrooms it worked on myself, and while I would say everything perfect, I have a good life, one which I'm grateful for.
I'm going through mushroom infusion therapy, and I can confirm that it does work real good..
Hello! It appears I have interests, I want to get some.. where do you get from?
dr.rinehartshrooms
I became very self aware, healed from childhood trauma. I also pretty much switched my primary hand from right to left. My creativity increased a lot too. Only thing that didn't change is my physical condition.
Let's all unite here not by our differences in traumatic events, but by the strength and hope we all carry inside us for better days !
Hear, hear !!
🤎
I wish that for you, Isabella♡ And for the rest of us as well.
I agree, I was suddenly excluded from my full class when I was fourteen. I've become distant and alert always in survival mode. I have been depressed since I was twelve and have become suicidal since the last month. I feel like I cant be traumatized cuz my experience is too mild and I don't want to offend anyone.
@@jorritjipdejong4326 no matter what your trauma, anyone's pain and suffering can be great or small depending on their thoughts. No one has the right to compare or judge your experience. Keep sharing your story and giving yourself the acceptance and validation you needed at 14. No one deserves to be excluded by all their peers at that or any age, and I bet most of them regret it now. You have every right to feel hurt and to take extra special care of you now. If you can, release yourself from the added burden of resentment. They didn't know any better, and kids can be cruel. And again, offer your 14 year old self some compassion too. Good luck and thanks for sharing here. Sending prayers for guardian angels to watch over you tonight and every night. 💜
"The trauma is not the event that happens, it is how you respond to it."
Agreed. Although, the way I remember it was that psychological trauma was initiated by the crisis state caused by a person's inability to handle a given situation with the tools they normally have at their disposal. The key to helping them through such a state was to help them find/develop new psychological tools to be able to overcome the situation or issue. This empowerment breeds confidence to handle future, similar, situations and reduces traumatization...
To be fair, my skill set in this area is a bit old and may be subject to newer information.
@@ElCapitanDeLaNoche this gave me quite a clarity. Thanks.
@@ElCapitanDeLaNoche As a therapist, I’ve seen even the most capable and adaptable clients have the deepest trauma - ironically, the trauma itself often breeds compensatory skills in the individual to offset the hypervigilant/dissociated states. You’re speaking to a top-down approach which can be effective but it seems as though he is referring to a bottom-up approach. You sound as if you used to work in trauma?
@@mord0 Just an old field hand... Worked a lot of domestic disturbance calls. I tended to use the old Bard Crisis Intervention Model as it tended to reduce return calls to the same location. As you might expect, my approach was in the minority with my peers.
EASIER SAID THAN BLOODY DONE. I swear peoples "trauma" these days must be some light shit if they can just choose to wake up one day like "oh okay, these memories that have caused fibromyalgia , cyclical vomiting syndrome, postural orthostatic tachycardia, and PTSD are now fine. I'll just view them differently, almost as easily as making a bowl of cereal. What a revelation. Thank you" aha, what a load.
It’s weird that we can understand whats going on in our brain, we know what is wrong but we can’t change it by just thinking about this
this is why i'm doing EMDR
You have to ACT to change it.
So frustrating.
It's even weirder that most people need to reach rock bottom first in order to change their lives.
@@agaphbou Accurate!
“The Body Keeps The Score” started my journey from a jail cell into recovery and a life free of drugs! I thank Dr Bessel for his work on trauma!
Congratulations and many blessings to you! 🤗
Congrats man, keep it uo
You are awesome!
Congratulations 🍾🎉🎈🎊
Congratulations!! 🙏💐
Workplace bullying also is a traumàtic experience.
Exactly. I worked for 6 months in social services and they treated me like a dog. The director even purposely shoved the biggest trauma in my life (my father) and it left me traumatized with constant headaches, stress from work and home, body tremors, anxiety and depression that led to Depersonalisation. I can't focus very well, my memory and feelings are numb and i have sleeping issues. I constantly forget and can't visualise. That place ruined me for life.
@@SimeonKirilovX
Sorry to read your experience, Simon. Been there. I am sure you will be in a better place soon.
Omg! So glad someone mentions it. I experienced bullying when I was in college and then I was bullied at a workplace. The problem was that when I tried to stand up for myself at work no one who witnessed what happened came forward. Everyone was afraid and ended up saying they had not seen anything and everything was fine.
work culture has become so abusive it severely aided in my own mental collapse
@Nstink what
I teared up listening to this. I study biology and have always been interested in how the brain works. At a young age I watched my dad die in a work accident and I never received any mental help. It has consumed my emotions and destroyed many years of my life. Those moments always come back to me when ever I face adversity and they make me want to crumble, just to let my life shatter and remove all the progress. It's hard not to allow that to happen.
People don't even try to see other points of view and it's very sad. I don't experience racism but I try to understand how that would effect ones life.
Our society has no sense of others worth. It lacks the ability to do so. Because it's built that way.
You might want to look into EMDR therapy. I had trauma related to my divorce. I had seen 2 therapists and 8 years had passed and I couldn't get over it. I found a therapist specializing in EMDR. After 5 months, I feel like I've improved 80%. Still have work to do, but it was a game changer for me. Good luck!
I recommend you read his book. I think it will help. You're not alone.
@@deborahlincoln-strange622 yeah I was going to get the audio version. Appreciate it.
In my country nobody visits the psyciatrist .. everyone bears their own burden.. and think about the people in north korea or myanmar or taliban now.. their life is hell.. so be satisfied with u have
@@valentinopereira58 I'm sorry you live that way but that's not how humans progress forwards. Just because someone has it easier then someone in a dictatorship does not forfeit their rights to feelings. The mind is much more complicated then that.
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years.
With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean.
Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need
Is he on instagram?
Does he make delivery across the state??
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Trauma isn't just the bad that's happened to you. It's the good stuff that never happened but was supposed to.
Wow
Well-Said !!
That’s so observant and heartfelt.
Almost a tattoo worthy statement.
Thank you
So that’s a bad thing that happened
Wow. 🤯 YES!!!!!!!! Exactly
I was hit by a truck 8 years ago and lost my arm and leg. While laying on the side of the road I thought, "thankfully I'm Canadian" and I knew I was going to be well cared for.
Yes, Canada is treating its citizens right and “the greatest country in the world” ought to learn a thing or two from you.
@@sarahkeane8634 maybe we can be a new beacon for the world. We used to rely on America for that, but they're dealing with some personal issues right now. They'll be back to greatness soon enough... I hope.
@@bigtimber when did 'we' rely on America for that? And a country that just recently had indigenous Canadian kids found in hidden burial sites cannot be a beacon for anything good, not any time soon. I think the world is a lot more complex than that.
Canada is a woke crappy country
@@anonanon2712 take that shit to the church that killed them.
Kolk links trauma to harsh social conditions, which is a break through ! Doctors tend sweep under the rug the social root cause of trauma in most cases !
So much trauma is due to relationships
Yeah I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and ADHD as a child when the therapist could clearly see the bruises my father inflicted on my mother. It’s easier and cheaper to just over medicate then to actually work with people’s trauma. Nowadays I know that I probably just suffer from PTSD and I actually recognize my triggers and deal with life without medication. Not saying everyone can or should or that medication does not benefit people, but the amount of people I’ve met misdiagnosed with some mental illness when they’ve experienced horrible events that were never spoken about or worked through is honestly so staggering and I blame the pharmaceutical industry personally.
@@meganfreeman3583absolutely agree ,I have anxiety and depresión but I genuinely feel PTSD ,I think that's the root of it all
If it's not in a textbook, it doesn't exist, right?
“What may be traumatic for you, many not be traumatic for me based on our personalities and prior experiences.” No truer statement could have been said. I come from a family where both my parents were heroin addicts, both were in and out of jail from the time I was 10, my brothers were 8 and 6. My dad was also an alcoholic and used to beat the living crap out of my mom…almost killing her at one point. My dad died of an overdose when I was 14 & my mom lost it, couldn’t cope and abandoned my middle brother and I and took my youngest brother with her (aged 9 at the time). Each one of us, the siblings, were affected very differently by this horrible childhood and situation. In fact, while my youngest brother and I cut our ties with our mother completely, my middle brother maintained a relationship with her in the later years when she’d gotten off heroin & was on a lifetime of methadone treatment. She also died fairly young, aged 54. My middle brother was somewhat shielded from the trauma of an absent mother bc I stepped in as a surrogate mother until he turned 18. That put a lot of pressure on my (at 15 years old) and I resented her for it, among all the other sh!t she’d done. My youngest brother, however, got the worst aspect of it bc she dragged him around w/her and he witnessed her shooting up & she’d leave him with random people and he was molested by an older man at age 10 (a so called friend of my mothers). I ended up a single mom at 18, worked my way through college and ended up with a successful career as an exec in a Fortune 200 company. My middle brother ended up in prison serving a 25 to life sentence and my youngest brother is a shut-in. He was able to hold a job for many years & then trauma got the best of him. He’s now on perm disability. Insanity…but yes, we are all affected very differently even when we’re from the same family and experience the same type of trauma!
Thank you for sharing your story ❤ Sending you love and blessings 💕
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly
Great story. Congrats on breaking the chain.
Wow you’re so strong
I'm so sad. You've been through so much. I feel sorry for you and your family. I pray for you. God bless. I wish I could say more. Thank you for your message 🙏 😊
I could remember several years ago I suffered severe Trauma & depression and mental disorder. Was actually addicted to cigarettes and alcohol. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 11 years totally clean. Shrooms are God- sents.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes.And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need!
YES very sure of Dr.raymycology . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice! I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
When we supposed to turn to our parents but they're the trauma itself 💀💀💀
😂😂
Oh how relatable that is :/
When everything around you is a catalyst for traumatic event. Haha. And they are ignorant of it as well.
Literally though
AHAHAHA LITERALLY THO
He forgot School, a place where prolonged conflict can also lead to such symptoms.
He was only giving a few examples. He didn't say that those were the only things that could cause trauma.
His book talks the school/childcare/prison system in his book. The book is very extensive. There's no way to cover it in an 8 minute video.
I've been harassed by my generation whilst they were mocking me and my mom behind a parking lot for no reason while we were just walking I had tons of anxiety and ran back home halfway threatened to commit suicide because how TRAUMATIZING it was for me... I hate this world
Bullying labeling bad teachers abuse. A literal captive audience
I believe he gave those examples because those are the one more likely to not only traumatize you but give you severe PTSD / CPTSD i believe
-“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
And then not defending yourself because you feel ashamed of yourself for being so “weak”. We are not weak. We are still alive, we have a chance to get better. We are strong.
I’ve met so many toxic people that would say derogatory things to me and would be so disrespectful towards me. Ive also been physically and mentally bullied in middle school and high school . My so called “friends” have betrayed me. I have trust issues now and I don’t open up to people that much. And that makes me anti social. Which makes me even more depressed. And I have an attitude of being mad at the world and people in general for doing cruel things to me. I really need to see a psychologist.
Reading his book currently. Also read, CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Another informative read if you suffer from Trauma experienced in Childhood.
📥𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟶𝟼𝟾𝟿𝟹𝟸𝟿𝟻
Absolutely agree on the CPTSD book
I started the book too days ago
Thank you for recommending that
@@y_wintersnow You're Welcome
People with trauma desire to be heard, validated and understood. It helped me.
I once heard somebody say "it changes who you are, who you were on the way to becoming you" that said it all.
I want a full documentary based on this book. I love it.
"Cracked Up", the Darrell Hammond documentary, is the closest thing I've seen. It features interviews with Bessel van der Kolk.
The Summary of the New Medicine, by Dr. Hamer, nails it down far better. This stuff here only scratches the surface. But good luck finding the book. Last I found was a $3000 copy... all I can say is that my suffering is a thing of the past.
Now i know why it’s hard for me to express joy and coordinate my thoughts
I was sexually abused at the age of five by an adult men which definitely affected in every sector of my life. I am an introvert, struggled alot at study since my childhood. Now, I discovered I am suffering from PTSD and HOCD. Nobody knows until now, I can't tell my family and friends. I am reading and doing research. Very soon going to therapist, hope everything will be fine.
I wish you peace 🤗 😔
@@mari401430 thankyou
Please find a good therapist , because i have been in therapy ,most are not my fit.
You will be well
I am so so very sorry. How are you? How are you really? I can't fix all your problems but I hope I can support you :)
I suffer from complex ptsd due to a violent childhood and adolescence. Ive been healing and this book has been a great tool in my arsenal.
People with agoraphobia know trauma and isolation all too well! We need more awareness about it! Sending love to all on their healing journeys. 💗
I experienced something bad and then had the authority figures who I thought would protect me protect the perpetrators instead; worse they convinced me it was the right thing to do. This has had a tremendously negative effect on my life that took me a very long time to get past to any degree.
I think that is the worst part, not having someone to defend you and do justice. The story would be different.
That is devastating. I am so sorry to hear you say this. Parents should always advocate for their children. And if it wasn't your parents, whoever the authority figure was should have advocated for you. My heart goes out to you.
@@tinaholbrook9719 Fortunately no, it was the school.
@@AndPennyThought To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Take a quiet journey inwards. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 Meditation has been very important for my recovering. It's brought me back to life it feels like sometimes.
I don't care if you've experienced trauma or not. His book is life changing and helped me understand myself and every other traumatized person in my life. It is life saving.
Can you tell me the book name please?
@@erambitious789 It's in the title: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk (the man speaking in the video)
@@delusion5867 thank you so much
I never hear people talk about how trauma is a political issue. This man is speaking truth. We don't talk enough about policy changes.
Some things happened to me as a kid that I never spoke up about. Years later I developed a tumor in my throat/neck area, and I needed surgery to remove it. I later had a therapist who told me that the body holds on to the trauma, and it made sense that I developed an issue in my throat because I was afraid to speak. Mind blown 💕
🤔💚
i would be kind of inclined to disagree? the body, your nervous system, keeps the score, not something symbolic of “not speaking” like the throat. while the stress could have raised your chances of developing a tumor, it would not have caused it directly.
I agree with this 100%...
@@sylverscribs0490 yeah I agree.
@@sylverscribs0490 I agree with you that it won't be a specific as "I was afraid to speak so it affected my throat", but unresolved trauma has been proven to cause Thyroid issues for example. It's not just your nervous system...which can also affect everything else too,but I digress. Suffice to say; Mind and body are far more connected than people realize. 🤷♀️
After being traumatized and then spending two years in silence, and then finally getting therapy and mental health services. You realize just how much in survival mode you were. I can’t believe some of the things I did but I know I was trying to keep myself safe. TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST! Don’t let thoughts and feelings fester alone inside of you
The trauma they give us and the systems they build to keep us traumatized till we die.
You can’t just cure being traumatized, that would make it not such big of a deal.
Religious indoctrination has my entire family tree sucked into narcissism and I'm included against my wishes
The problem now is no one's in control to make beneficial changes, the constructs/systems you speak of are an entity in and of itself...born into bondage.
You’re so right, we are intentionally traumatized to keep us weak and sick.
Emotion=energy in motion; we hold trauma in our bodies. Movement is so important. Hip work and jogging helps me deal with the trauma.
“To be sentimental or emotional is not love, because sentimentality and emotion are mere sensations.”
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
I have been through multiple traumas and when I went to a psychiatrist for medication therapy, he asked me why I don't work or take up a job? I was disappointed with the way he spoke because I didn't expect a psychiatrist to say that. I am not working because I am seeing him. Otherwise if I was in a position to work, I would have not been in his office?
I wasn’t beaten on a regular basis, but a couple of times were really, really bad. The rest of the time, we all just kept our heads down and tried to stay off the radar, constantly vigilant for the potential, unexpected violence.
I can understand that feeling of constant hyper vigilance. It wears on your nervous system so much. People these days don’t understand why I jump so easily… hope ur doin ok
Sending love ❤ so sorry you went through that
I had the same type of experience. It was heartbreaking finding myself at 34yo being "promoted" to the one with those potential, unexpected violence rants.
@@PipoGirlTv
As if potential unexpected violence is not the norm? 🤷🏼♂️
How then, were we supposed to know this? 🤦🏼♂️
🤷🏼♂️
@@sjoerdhartman9181 it’s different when it lives inside your family, your home. That place that’s supposed to be safe, stable, predictable. When it’s not, you have no defense against trauma outside because of the threat inside. I understand more about trauma today than I ever suspected could be true. Read Dr. Van der Kolk’s book.
I just finished reading his book 📖 it has validated everything I knew and felt as a survivor sexual trauma as a child! The answer is not CBT but emdr and mindfulness and meditation for trauma survivors! His a brilliant and great doctor 👏
What is wrong with CBT?
@@SP-qi8ur Trauma is not healed by just talking about it! It can only be healed by accessing the limbic brain the amygdala which is where most basic fight or flight experiences are stored. CBT does not reach into that part of the brain! EMDR works to access that part of the brain. Its simple eye movement practice that lets the past come into the present while you follow the the finger movement with your eyes of the therapist and tell what happened to you. Thats all but the eye movement is the key to changing the traumatized brain to awaken and rewire. so you as the victim are able to see the trauma as a past event that you then can get past by staying present and not being hijacked by flashbacks and anxiety thoughts of the events that caused the trauma! Hope it helps try it! Need a good trauma therapist whos knows how to perform EMDR. Dr Von Der Kolk is an expert of it and thats what he recommends in his book as well for trauma pts!
@@nemrak4385 Thanks for your reply, it's very interesting. Do you think CBT is useful for other ailments?
@@SP-qi8ur Sure no problem! Yes of course for MDD, OCD, phobias and other depression and anxiety disorders but not for trauma sufferers! Like Dr Van Der Kolk clarifies in his book trauma is stored in the BODY its about BODY SENSATIONS that were not processed when the traumatic event took place. So the victims body and brain were overwhelmed and couldn't escape so it has to now be able to process what happened so that you can let out so it can be healed. KEY IS MINDFULNESS STAYING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT! practice mindfulness. I learned about mindfulness by reading the book Untethered soul by Michael Singer. Its a short but life changing book I highly recommend it!
@@nemrak4385 To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
This is me. I am 100% disengaged and surviving only.
I guess normal people don't really know the stress I go through walking down the street being hyper vigilant, with my heart beat rising, hot flashes over my body and pretending like am getting what my friend is saying. It's a terrible way to live, feeling scared every time you step out.
❤
All I can say that this man gets us trauma survivors. When he said, something upsets you that it's overwhelming, I couldn't agree more. That's trauma right there. I remember going out of control and actually thought I was going crazy!
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
I do relate to that!.
when you tell others that "this" thing traumatized you and now you want to distant yourself from "this" for your own mental peace, and they don't understand at all and expect you to embrace what traumatized you. Yeah, it hurts a lot
I grew up watching my dad, grandad verbally abusing the women in my family. Everytime I hear a loud discussion something snaps and takes me back to when I was 6 yrs, some days is difficult overcoming those feelings
Widespread trauma is a major contributor to the explosion of inflammatory disease. I can directly draw a line from my severe health issues starting in my teens/20s to my abuse and neglect as a child. Knowing that the things that happened to me then will continue to affect my life forever has made it very difficult to move beyond that time in my life in any meaningful way, and has made it hard to not to give in to catastrophization whenever something bad happens. I'm working on it.
Beyond my own anecdote, studies have shown that many autoimmune diseases and chronic health conditions have an increased likelihood of occurring in people with a history of adverse childhood events. The fact that in America, we have prohibitively expensive medical and mental health care, means that people who were let down by their inner support group are also being let down by their wider community/politicians as they are given no help to access treatment for the effects of their trauma. Universal healthcare is a dire necessity, it is ridiculous and irresponsible that we don't have it.
We need to care about and for each other more.
YES 👏👏👏👏
Felt that let down by the wider community bit way too hard.
Indeed & America needs to take accountability on how their racism past & present affected the black Americans as well✨
What do we do if we've never had that foundational safety? I grew up in a very violent household. My mother was schizophrenic, which I only learned as an adult but suspected *something* was terribly wrong. She was also a polysubstance abuser with chronic pain, severe childhood trauma, and 5 autistic children- myself included but never formally diagnosed. I've been working on myself this entire time, trying to avoid becoming like my mother, and a stable foundation is still impossible because I am physically disabled. Life should consist of more than barely treading water, and it's sheer willpower that keeps me going at this point.
God bless you ✨✨
"What do we do if we've never had that foundation of safety?"
Exactly! I've been asking that also!
I don't know either 😢
Been on this planet 58 yrs and have never felt safe.
@@nancywutzke5392 God I guess and it's crazy how strong that foundation of safety actually can be bcos literally NO ONE , not even anything on this Earth can take that away from u , once u believe , u believe , and that's to me is the strongest foundation of safety
In 2006 I was abruptly fired from a Catholic school where I received Teacher of the Year awards four out of my six years there. Why? For being LGBT. That's it, nothing more. My story made the local, national, and international news. My reaction -- which I still have -- is my radical, chronic, stubborn insomnia. I've seen some 35 doctors and specialists to treat this. The worst part is when someone doubts that there is anything wrong with you. As someone told me, "Well, you weren't in a war, were you?! You simply lost your job, and that happens to a lot of people. Just get over it."
Jeff,
For what it is worth, I thought I would comment.
I am sorry to hear that you had to experience this situation.
Remember, that in life when we have to endure a traumatic event and things feel like they are falling apart.( stuck looking at the past)
It is best to realize that what is really happening , is that your future life is giving you the opportunity to fall into a better place .(start looking towards your healthier future)
The catholic cult doesn’t believe in same sex relationships, so you were kicked out of the club and your experiencing radical rejection on a deep traumatizing level.
Don’t try to change the church, stay on the higher ground and know deep in your heart that you are attracted to the same sex and this is the way the creator made you .
Fuq the church, but love our creator, love yourself and who you are , and find yourself a new kind and caring group to belong to , where you can share your knowledge , talents and be of service with other’s.
Life is a personal book full of chapters that we write and create through choices , actions and consequences of our own doing and of other’s as well.
Dust yourself off and start writing the next chapters in your amazing and unique life journey.
As for your sleeping issues, seek a really good psychotherapist that specializes in emdr to help you deal with the underlying trauma, that this hurtful and confusing event has caused you.
When the trauma is resolved, you’ll be able to have your current self reach back in time and hold the hand of that traumatized person and tell them that everything is ok now , your safe and your coming with me into our amazing and mysterious future together!
Enjoy your journey and best wishes 🙏🏻✨
Jeff you were pinpointed to be less than perfect in their eyes for who you are and not what you did as a teacher. All they feared was an idea in their heads about you or what you might bring up or promote to the children. I totally understand. I feel you were not treated as a real person. And for that I'm so sorry society is just so ignorant.
You didn't "simply lose" your job.
It was stolen as a form of punitive retribution the for something out of any mere mortals' control.
Being subjected to such merciless cruelty is not readily overcome
your trauma is very real, Jeff. i want to validate you on that. i dealt with almost the same thing. i had to step down from my church choir because i am bisexual. it was humiliating.
So sorry for the injustice of your firing and resulting trauma. Maybe seek out a plant medicine approach. I healed my childhood trauma with Ayahuasca and lots of personal integration work. Best of luck in regaining equanimity.
My father tried to kill my mother when I was a child. And he tried more than once. This was my introduction to trauma. I wish it had never happened. One, because I love my mother, and two, it became a baseboard for my emotional health. I was young and impressionable and being exposed to that screwed up my personality. As shocking as it might sound, I had no one to talk to as his violence was in full swing. I went on to college and law school but still have PTSD. It shows up the most in my relationships. Any relationship. Being a neighbor, at work. You name it.
You and me both. I completely understand and empathize as I experienced something similar (along with both parents being heroin addicts and my father dying of an overdose when I was 14). I too went on to college, am successful by any definition but after being married briefly from age 18-23, and being left a single mother at a you g age, I’ve not really been able to sustain a long-term relationship. I’ve accepted it at this point. I have many platonic & female friends but it’s the intimate/romantic relationships that have never quite worked out for me.
I hate that we were brought into this world to suffer. Knowing after all we've went through it's really that bad, I believe it's a good idea to get as much therapy as we can.
keep spreading this, we are a traumatised bunch. Generational and covert trauma is real and needs to be acknowledged.
You should also know you dont need someone to do something to you to get trauma, you can get trauma by just being around that enviorment
My therapist told me this when I told her about the domestic abuse I’ve witnessed as a child through my early 20s. I thought because I wasn’t receiving it I wouldn’t be affected by it, but as I take a closer look it has shaped how I view the world around me. I’m doing better than I was years ago, but my body sometimes still thinks it’s in that toxic environment even though there’s no imminent danger.
I agree as someone who worked as a psyche nurse for 6 years, and had to quit because the last year working there effected me very badly.
Now that I have been away for almost 2 years I can only see how much I picked up and how much it shaped me in good and bad ways.
In Switzerland we have an apprenticeship system, So I started working there when I was 16 years old.
My childhood was good, but I still had some unprocessed stuff and was a sensitive person and also had some trauma stored in my DNA from my ancestors from way back, that I didn‘t know their stories yet. Which all suddenly started resurfacing and completely overwhelming me. (which might have not happened had I been in a different work environment)
Well there is also a lot of stuff I disagree with, with our mental health system and I am glad I‘m not a part of it anymore,
sadly a lot of broken peoples themselves work there (nurses, doctors, psychologists), sometimes it seems like just stable enough people trying to help people that are not stable at all.
There are good hearted people there ofc! but many hiding in the helper syndrome (I mean it‘s the perfect field for it)
I have talked to a few people working there and asking how they deal with some of the violent situations that go on there that they have to witness and be apart of ; and some really just say they store it somewhere deep inside them that it doesn‘t effect then.
wonder how healthy that is...
I‘m not trying to badmouth all of this, as I do most deffintly think therapy is important and a good step,
but true healing, will never ever occure in a psyche ward
Just makes me sad thinking about all the patients that kept continue to come back over and over, full on meds, stuck in their patterns for years and never getting fully out of them and experiencing a world without trauma
True. As a helpless witness, one lives with guilt for not being able to stop the abuse ...
@@AmiyaD1611 There is nothing wrong with psychiatrists not being affected by such views in psychiatric wards. They have more profound understanding of psyche and the brain, and they know what's better for them. And there is totally nothing wrong with ignoring such inconveniences to do your job. If all the doctors listened to you and became cowards, then we'd have no doctors. And i know a lot of people who work at the emergency room who keep seeing the most nasty views ever. But are they gonna quit their job for the sake of their "mental well-being" and leave people suffering? Or the soldiers? Or the morticians?. If they're not gonna do it, who will?
I struggle with memory loss from trauma, and I've blocked so much of it away for so long that I'm just starting to even process what happened. I don't think I'm ready to process it, but I'm starting to remember
I was with my father when he died, at home. Being with the person you Love the most and watch him die is not sad, it’s terrifying. It was one year ago and some people expects me to just move on. I have built walls with people that Don’t understand my situation and also had to explain to others that I’m going to take whatever time I need to heal and care about my mother and brother. My brain is just working fine acording to this situation. I am strong and happy. I am not scared to feel whatever I have to, I feel better everyday and I won’t ever forget my father. Be careful if you have trauma because healing and “not thinking about” or “forgetting” are not the same.
Sending you a warm, empathetic cyber hug 🫂
I witnessed the same thing with my dad. Still think about it every now and then. Cancer
Me too. I took care of my mother as she died at home. I also watched her leave and it was extremely strange to witness. Year two hit me far harder than year one, I experienced visual flashbacks to things that happened. But it has eased up in the last few months. I guess it just takes a while.
People who have no experience REALLY don't understand. Best to ignore or forgive their idiot statements.
In my experience, something metaphysical happened at the witness of death. I was alone, with nobody to call. I hallucinated seeing angels with black wings in the room. It took 2 years, but the trauma is gone now. Walking daily in a nice area heals.
My mother tried to kill herself with a razor and I found her and saved her life. 3 months later she was dead of cancer. A year later, I lost my dad to a stalker, who married him, took all his money and later, dug up my mother’s grave. Then 9/11 happened. 14 years later, my dad died and I was in a car accident on the same day. Then I lost my job a month later. Trauma after trauma. No one can understand unless they’ve been through it. Chronic pain is something I constantly fight with, when I’m not frozen or wanting to run. The pandemic has only made it worse. Now I’m studying trauma, so I can get out and then, hopefully, help others.
I hope that you found something (or several things) to help you heal from your traumas and help ease or even eliminate your pain, which they say ofc is trapped trauma/emotions. I only recently learned about TRE & Tapping. I wish I knew decades ago that trauma trapped in our bodies caused illnesses as I’ve been unwell since childhood. Right now I can feel something wanting to boil over and finally be released but I know I’m not ready to handle those emotions. But the pain I’m feeling is becoming unbearable, and those who know me know how high my pain tolerance is.
I’m truly sorry you experienced so much pain in your life….I hope you’re doing better now.
I got the Stellate Ganglion block 3x, twice in the right and one in the left. A few months after the third, while I had dramatic improvements with each procedure after the last I began to be able to remember what happened to traumatize little me but I can remember from the knowledge of my adult mind. Finally, after her being dead for more than a decade (murder by new husband) I finally see what the real deal was. After 38 years I can see that she was a narcissist and failed to mother me.. I was never bad or a slutty 10 year old. She was not a mother. She was an adversary, alcoholic, and betrayed her child like a narcissist woman does. I didn’t ruin her family, and she blamed me and then chemically silenced me and sucked the sympathy. Liberating for me to finally learn I don’t deserve to be hurt and oh wow not crazy. At 10 and 20 and 30 and 35 I was on like 10-17 bottles two or three times daily of antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, tranquilizers, all kinds of stuff. I remember the little me. We need to reparent the little kid inside of us. I even stopped losing a day or so of time! I can talk full sentences and I feel like I just got kissed by a prince and woke up at 40. And my panic disorder, the crippling feeling I had-not one day I didn’t feel it In my stomach- it’s GONE entirely. Stellate Ganglion block. I had to pick with my taxes- housing or ganglion block. I live in a shelter right now, but I’m alive and aware and don’t hate myself anymore. I actually have talents, I am kind, and I kinda like me a little bit. I am 100% positive I chose correctly. It is a miracle, I will say it.
I’m so sorry you went through all this trauma
Wish you success.only a person who understands suffering can assist those who are suffering.I never had issues with mental health,but suffered injury in hospital that left me in constant pain,reduced mobility.Lost my nursing job that I loved.I was in bed 14 months trying to save my foot.Then discharged no aftercare.I finally asked for referral to a Psychiatrist,who was very rude,condescending.Many others complained about him,I heard afterwards.He told me to get CBT privately.He did not even speak to me.He read answers to questions I had given to a very young Doctor beforehand.
CPTSD is even worse, in my opinion, though regular PTSD is just as valid. It’s not just trauma and flashbacks and emotional responses from a singular event. It’s trauma and flashbacks and emotional responses from MULTIPLE events, usually from early childhood. Therefore the physical consequences are pretty devastating as well. I didn’t even know my eczema could flare up due to my CPTSD until I read it in his book. And it takes a lot longer to heal from. People don’t understand just how long it takes to recover from MULTIPLE traumatic events and it completely shapes who I am.
I understand what you’re saying, as I also have cptsd, but it’s not The Who has it worse olympics. Everyone with the diagnosis (and some don’t even have a diagnosis) are struggling like you and I.
Ikrrrr? 😣 The only person who actually understands you is yourself. I try telling my councelor she be like, "Oh, So you dissociate from yourself! That's ok, we all dissociate from ourselves it's normal 😀" it might be normal SOMETIMES! Not everyday in front of people with tears in your eyes while they're trying to talk to you. Me three min later: huh...did you say something...? 💀 I'm aware they're trying to tell me something but I'm stuck in this truamatic event i can't snap myself out of...
My bff is the only person who doesn't judge my past but she moved away when we were 12 (I'm 17 now) we rarely see each other anymore because of school. She's the only person who actually made me happy, all my other "friends" always turn out to be bullies. She's like a shadow that follows me around everywhere especially at school. I go to an international school so it's common for me to see racism middle schoolers are always getting into fist fights and the highschool students do it to me to. They mostly judge me by my skin color. One time a black middle schooler through a salad box at a white middle schooler then he ran to the bathroom. 🤦 My English teacher, "Angela i want you to stop putting your palm on your chin, slouching on the desk, coming in like you don't like it here and acting like you're not ok!" Firstly, maybe i don't like it here, also, she's never asked me once how i really am! She just says, "Hi Angela how are you today? ☺️"
Me: I'm ok I guess... 😣
My teacher: That's awesome!
She doesn't actually ask me if I'm ok and check up on me! And her out of all the other teachers tells me this shit! She's the one who lectures us about mental illness and suicide that makes me sick to my stomach. It's like hypocrisy. Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm tired (of living), maybe I'm sad, maybe in angry... She wouldn't know unless she actually asked! 😭 I always wear a skeleton sweater (that represents death for me) and black pants i thought that would make if obvious to her by now... She doesn't know about me or my past so why does she just say that out of nowhere? I don't understand...i didn't do anything to her.
I hear you 🫂
I’m currently going through that with my eczema and it has been hard to heal it then normal do you have any advice on it?
I feel like Cptsd can be difficult to explain to people. i feel i've gotten mislabeled and misjudged by dr's and "loved" ones. it has a very isolating aspect.
I was physically assaulted when I was 18 almost 19 years old, I'm 28 now and I still deal with the anger, sadness and emptiness from that night. He made a great point, about the dog biting you as a kid and if you're parents picked you up and cared for you or protected you it would traumatize you less that makes sense because when I was assaulted my Ex boyfriend just watched and no one helped me till the police got there so I see why I never got over it even after therapy and so on, I think it is a feeling I will always have and would never move on from it.
I called my mom for help. She said she was at work. The cop said. Ma'am ur son was almost murdered.
Your experience may or may not qualify for PTSD. Unless you're diagnosed with it it might be just a general "trauma", but not PTSD. They are two different things.
@@BK-kk3em great job invalidating someone’s else’s trauma. You don’t know if they have PTSD. From the sound of it, how it still affects them, it sounds like they do.
@@BK-kk3em Oh you're a doctor? Cool lol go diagnose some other people cuz I was diagnosed with PTSD but a legit doctor not some dumb kid on CZcams comments thanks for your 2 cents it's worth less than that hun
@@haleyb.1341 He thinks he's a doctor lol xD
I am currently reading this book. Not only am I learning about my own trauma, but the trauma of my mother, my fathers depression, and my brother’s mental issues.
I have his book. I haven't finished reading it, but so far what I've read it's excellent!
It is. I recovered from ptsd. His book was a huge impact on my recovery. Im sure there other great books, but his helped me connect with what was happening to me. I couldn't put it down which is rare for me. Ive read it multiple times.
i have had this book on my to read list forever. im bad at reading self help books other than psychology articles online, but even the title alone helped me process so much stuff and I will definitely get to reading it one day, it's recommended all the time. The book title especially resonates to me because i used to have repressed memories but it didn't prevent me from showing acute stress and anxiety in reactions to events i didn't even realize were triggering me. But the body knows, the body keeps the score. Getting more attuned to my body and emotions on psychedelics after all these years of apathy and repressed memories helped me recover the memories and process most of the trauma thanks to it. I still have aphantasia that developed after my childhood trauma. Would love for the author to look into aphantasia vs trauma and repressed memories, and more importantly, if acquired aphantasia can be reverted. It's something science doesn't know much about still.
Dude is beyond brilliant. ❤️🤘
I read this book a couple of years ago - wonderful! Tremendously helpful.
@@metasamsara To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Trauma is worst, when you are traumatized because someone you loved, wanted to have fun.
This video contains such an important piece of information that is missing at large in our global awareness. The anger and confusion of trauma passes on from peer to child, generationally embedding itself until one person in the chain receives the help of a trained therapist. The healing begins when this cycle is broken.
I have PTSD anxiety and depression as well as multiple health issues.i also have amnesia from a head injury. I have nightmares every night and struggle with life. I get through this on my own but it gets very hard. best wishes to everyone out there suffering.
@broken south thankyou very much, your right we are. All the best.
Sometimes medicine can help. Chemicals in the 🧠 imbalances
Same here got sexual abuse when I was a kid, then got taken away from police got abused in the foster care system, ran away from home at 13 4 times, then ran away from home at 16. Got married at 20 got abuses more during the relationship. To this day I still struggle
@@annedio2828 I'm really sorry to hear you went through that. I was out of home at 14 too. I wish you all the very best. Be kind to yourself you have been through a lot
I love how my parents always tell me there are ppl worse than me and hence I should not be hurt.
This book really helped me and I am very glad I found this video. I grew up in a very chaotic household. My mother was a domestic violence victim and my stepfather nearly killed her (all with us in view and aware of what was happening). The flight, fight or freeze aspect played out for me within the last few years, as my sister in law constantly engaged in verbally aggressive, belittling and ever present attack behavior. This triggered my PTSD from childhood and I sought therapy specifically for PTSD. It changed my life. Find a good therapist you connect with and a therapy that works for you. For me, it was WET (Written Exposure Therapy) that worked wonders for me. If you have experienced trauma and are a writer, this may be something worth exploring.
I'd like to know more about that matter
I am about half-way through this book. I have weekly talk therapy, and a few weeks ago I began getting ketamine infusions for my treatment resistant depression and PTSD. I know that I have work ahead of me to continue, but I am feeling more encouraged now than I ever have as an adult who has struggled. To anyone reading this who needs some encouragement: get the help that you feel you need. It’s never too late. ❤️
Got you i will
I have been reading a bit about ketamine therapy - Was wondering how you're doing a year later.
I remember 10 years ago I was eating while watching a documentary on Madagascar. I was chilling eating my mashed potatoes and nuggets.
The interviewer went to a traditional circumcision ceremony and the scene was egregious. There were babies crying and blood etc, but the worst part was when an old man ate a foreskin because he thought it would bring him luck or something. Needless to say I was scared for life and I couldn't eat mashed potatoes for YEARS. To this day I haven't eaten a single nugget. 😭
This man is saving lives, and I hope that maybe his book can help me. I’m thankful that he studied neuroscience instead of politics, but now where are we going to find angels like him to organize society for us?
I’m so glad that I am watching this video. I used to hate growing up in the 90s/2000s and still hearing that only the military or War Heroes had PTSD. I’m so glad that he makes the point that PTSD is actually a very common occurrence. I also, would like to know how to get rid of trauma that is trapped in my body and as a substitute teacher, I would like to help kids as well. It’s way more common than we think and it’s really sad that kids are growing up like this.
The best way I can explain the traumatic response of PTSD (from multiple sexual assaults), and how it feels, is that there is a small jail cell that I am trapped in inside my brain. The key is visible on a table in front of me just out of reach and some days I have the energy to reach for it and put my fingers on it or find another way out. Meanwhile, on most other days the key just disappears into the darkness of the room and I am too fearful to reach my hand out to find it so I stay tucked inside this prison in my mind. It sucks a lot because I trust no one in any capacity and do not think I ever will. I want out though. I am imprisoned for a crime I didn't commit. I wonder how many others can relate to this visualization, and if you can I am so sorry and hope you find peace and heal soon.
The hardest thing about trauma is trying to begin again. Everyone around you is fighting for you, to help you grow, to help you get through. But the hardest thing is feeling like you don’t deserve the help, and you question why they are helping you, and you wonder if they are going to ask for it in return. Some days I feel broken, and I will never know how to begin again.
by far one of the best descriptions of trauma I've ever read or heard. the ending where he advocates for a society that recognizes and implements policies to offset these events is huge. we can only hope for a lawmaker and political figure who thought this way
I just took 5 weeks of leave from work. I'm 41, love my job, but trauma has been ruling my emotions. I am now doing EMDR therapy and my therapist recommended journaling and reading this book. I pray that I will have enough tools to go back to work. I am doing everything I can to prepare. Journaling is amazing. Thank you to all who have commented, it truly helps to know we aren't alone.
My literal fucking savior! No on believed my pain, no one believed what I felt for most of my life, and then here you come! The trauma is not gone, or lessened, but I have better ways to share it, and to explain it, so that I get the help I need..~
Another kind of trauma that is under reported is the trauma that parents/carers go through when they look after a child who has a mental health condition. For example, the parents of a teenager who has autism can have a very hard time of it daily. It's sad that there isn't more awareness of the real struggle that care givers can have.
That is acute, lasting stress. Trauma is an acute momentary shock. Unexpected. Either way, it sucks.
Had a terrible traumatizing experience in college and non of the friends there had my back. Made me have a mental breakdown and anxiety for five years. Thank god I had a strong loving family who made me feel better since I wasn’t stable enough to look for help.
Can I ask what your experience was in college?
@@Ginzalili Pretty sure he was falsely accused of se*ual harassment. Very common, unfortunately.
I had the most horrific trauma from the stillbirth of my son after medical mistake. The feeling of complete helplessness . My doctor taking so long to believe me that I don’t feel well and a mistake had happened. But even worse was the realization that we may never be able to have another child. Adoption is so hard, unlikely and expensive. This again leaves me helpless because there’s nothing I can do about it.
I started getting weird unexplainable symptoms weeks after it happened. It’s been over two years and my mind is in prison.
The only good thing is that not a lot of things make me panic anymore. So many things I used to worry about seem so small compared to what happened.
I recently discovered that adoption does not have to be expensive if you go through the state instead of a private agency. I know that wasn't the focus of your message, but wanted to share.
@@katrinaclark6376 we have talked to a state agency. 70% of direct foster children are between 16 and 21. Less than 10% are under 8. We’d gladly adopt a six year old girl , plus minus two years but they told us the chances are super slim. The best chances are to be a foster family and hope that one day a child stays, wich happens in 1 out of ten children. Maybe one day, we could go through that but for now, we couldn’t bare, to foster a child and give it back to their family.
Friends of ours adopted a seven year old boy, who was kicked out of multiple foster families, because he was problematic. But they made it work and he’s very happy now. It is certainly possible but rare. Everyone can look up the available children on the swan website of their state and will quickly see, what I mean.
Although we could imagine m to adopt a teenager, when we are much older than now, for now, they strongly advised us against it.
Edit:
I didn’t mind you sharing. People need to talk about these things, it’s important.
Natalie, I feel you. Doctors should listen to their patients. Sending you love and hope.
Sending my love.
Sending you love.
Everyone needs to read the book - The Body Keeps the Score.
I also highly recommend the documentary The Wisdom of Trauma.
What's happening here is like the medical discovery of bacteria. Or the invention of penicillin. This is world-changing stuff. Everyone needs to know about it!
The problem with trauma is that after the situation is gone your body still reacts as if the situation is still happening again
Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea
It’s also a response to being gas lighted by cruel doctors who don’t listen to their patients and leave them severely injured. Doctors are a big cause of trauma. Iatrogenesis is real.
@@elizabethmcleod246 not just doctors but sometimes family/friends...
@@Human1136 Being misdiagnosed and physically disabled is worse than emotional abuse from family. You can move away from toxic family, become resilient and thrive. Health is wealth.
@@elizabethmcleod246 I agree with all you said. I have the same experience.
@@elizabethmcleod246That's incredibly ignorant. Not everyone can move away from toxic family members.
for me my trauma is in my body not in my memory. The worst part is it has been a part of my subconscious and with the little trigger i can be overwhelmed confused, and just frozenly anxious sometimes
The most interesting thing to me is the separation between the self and the trauma that some people experience. I personally don't give two shits about stuff that happened to me,ask me about it and I'd tell u it's not a big deal,not to show strength but that's really how I feel. Yet here I am with PTSD and unctrollahle reactions to certain things. It's like having two different people in the brain. My counselor said you don't get to choose what traumatizes your brain, the brain decides that. My guess would be because its a survival mechanism the brain forces you to re-live it and plan what you could/would do next time to stay safe, or stay ready for it to happen again. That's why it doesn't matter how you personally feel about the situation. If your brain felt like it's something that could have hurt or killed you it's gonna should on to that to " keep you safe" in the future 🤷
I was molested by my father and had no choice but to live with that secret for ever. The way I physically changed was so scary holding in that darkness
I'm deeply traumatized by severe OCD crises. I associate people, objects, behaviors, songs, to name a few things, with being totally confused, anxious and distressed by my rampant intrusive thoughts. After the episode is over, I still look at those things and relate them to the times I was obsessing. Exhausting.
Relatable
i know how you feel and frankly, most of those thoughts are just lies. You are not them. Remember that always
This work is so necessary
I think the ending point is the most important. It’s not just the trauma that impacts us, it’s the environment! Culturally, our society enables us to continue living in that space because we lack support
If the system condones DV then we become trapped in the cycle of trauma.If a victim is shamed and revictimised how can they heal.
That was a big part of my healing, finally understanding that my body kept relieving the trauma and it all added up to become CPTSD. So freeing when you finally understand this and can use modalities and tools, such as yoga and meditation to support you to feel safe in your body to release the trauma. Thank you for all the work that you do.
The great thing about trauma is that it gives you super human powers in being able to see people completely, their intentions, their disorders, and their manipulations. You can also see when someone is coming from a place of authenticity 😊 Unfortunately most people don't understand how to navigate interacting with someone that has experienced trauma or indeed know that a person has found a situation traumatic and is suffering. Inevitably they may put their foot in it and may trigger you into a response. A great deal of understanding is required. Then there are those that are just plain malevolent and will deliberately trigger a response from you, these are to be avoided at all costs, which is not so easy depending on your situation.
However, we are responsible for our recovery and we must take the steps to do so, no matter how tiny they are. Breathe, blink, focus. Wishing everyone suffering a recovery that fits them wholeheartedly 🙏🙏❤️
Well said and thank you for those wise and kind words ❤
You’re a good soul 🥹
Thank you Sir for the concise presentation of trauma. I've recently realised that previous long term mental trauma when I was younger has resulted in the current me. Currently trying to slowly undo the damage one step at a time. To all those who are in the same shoes - hugs and kisses. There's nothing we can do about what has already happened but we can try to move away from it.
❤️❤️❤️
The first 30 pages in the book made me cry already. For my grandfather who fought in WWII. I am nearly 50 years old now and it is not long ago that I realized that my grandfather was depressed. As a young child and young adult, I couldn't see it.But when I read this first 30 pages.... I wish I would have known this earlier. Literally the story of my grandfather.... being traumatized for the rest of his life until he did with 90 years old. Such a shame, for what? Stupid war? And now.. I am realizing that I am traumatized too. I am so grateful for the work of Bessel van der Kolk.
The body keeps the score was the first time I read about myself. It was wonderful to learn that I wasn't crazy, but I 'just' had (complex) ptsd. Thank you Dr Van der Kolk.
The statement that trauma is the overwhelming of coping mechanisms. I’ve been a first responder for many years and I’ve seen and been involved in a lot of potentially traumatic events. Not all have been traumatic, those that have I’ve realised were those that somehow got through my defences and damaged my ability to cope with that event. Being fatigued, closely related to the individual I was faced with etc have meant my usual defence mechanisms didn’t work, kick in, etc. in my case I wasn’t able to depersonalise the situation at the time and the physiological and psychological reactions were able to lay down the effects to which I then have had to deal with thereafter.
What wonderful, clear and insightful thoughts on this massive topic.
Finally, a scientific evidence that proves how trauma affects people. This goes to show how we are created not to hurt each other but to care for one another. How politics poverty health care and everything else affects each one of us. Assualt, war, we are not called for this. Justice truth compassion grace goes hand in hand. Hoping that trauma victims and survivors get the justice and healing they deserve. We see you. Also thanks to this man, he is a very good doctor and scientist, thank you sir for this work!
I have PTSD, and it not so much traumatized me as it changed the way my brain works. If something unpleasant happens, I quickly associate it with the cause or the environment in which it occurred, and my body never forgets. I call it my lizard brain instead of my cockroach brain.
For instance, I once flipped down the visor as a passenger when my father was driving, and papers slid out of it. He became angry, and now that I can drive I've never used a visor without deliberately calculating if it's safe to do so. Even trivial behaviors and environments get hardwired into the "Is this safe?" filter.
There's a clear evolutionary advantage to this occurring to some people within a population. It keeps the community as a whole safer, at the cost of the individual who suffers. I'm not a paranoid person; I actually am a known risk taker, and my friends joke about how I have no sense of self preservation. I just remember every single time something has been unsafe, and I prepare for it in the future.
The last part about how there are societies where people have created systems and institutions to take care of each other-with universal healthcare and childcare, income equality-that was brilliant. ⭐⭐⭐
Whereas in US, everyone has to fight so much for basic things like childcare and enrolling kids into the best school, and the kids who get in trouble at school end up in the crime-to-jail pipeline because of untreated trauma, etc, etc. etc.
This book is life changing. It heals you. Loved it!!
I wish more people understood how important this information is...
I just wanna say Thank You. I have childhood PTSD from abuse I received from my father. I found your book while I was staying at an inpatient facility and it helped so much.
this book changed my life. it made me understand what was happening to me and that i was NOT crazy, and had NOT made it all up in my head , as i had routinely been told.
This is really well said and edited as well. Even the background music. I've had a lot of trauma. So much that as an adult I blew up in a car lost my leg etc and I don't consider that traumatic. I feel a lot better now. Able to slow then stop drugs and alcohol... cigs still linger. But I have hope and enjoy my life. I meditate and forgive myself. I cry and allow feeling to come back. I used to find safety in guns and now I find safety in faith. No specific one just an energy source thats compassionate somewhere that created us. Makes me happy to think of how things are now. Still a lot to do, but this video is really informative and helpful. Thanks