The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2015
- Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence-the body keeps the score. That’s how Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s leading experts on developmental trauma, explains how our long-term health and happiness can be compromised by prior exposure to violence, emotional abuse, and other forms of traumatic stress. In his new book, Dr. van der Kolk explores how innovative treatments-ranging from meditation and neurofeedback to yoga, sports, and drama-offer new paths to healing and wellness. A psychiatrist and author of multiple books, his work and perspectives have been featured in The New York Times, on National Public Radio, and in many other media outlets.
After reading the book, I found a Psychologist that was trained in Neurofeedback and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy....I am off all pain medication, all antidepressants, all anti-anxiety meds and am weaning off sleeping meds. I feel like a new person, and have cut ties with those who have abused me, or cause anxiety in my life.
Well done Julie, well done
As someone starting treatment, reading this gives me hope! Hope you're doing well :)
It's amazing that CBT worked for you. I have found that for many it makes matters worse. For those EMDR tends to work much better.
I guess it's a trial and error situation.
sunshine moonlight get out there, I know its scary
Julie Perkins
Yoga is so easy and effective
Haha 2 minutes into his talk and he's already cursing. I love it. It's badass and shows that he's pissed. That's how the truth makes you feel, especially if you have a deep hatred for injustice and lies.
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
Fat, you're goofy
I felt same
I noticed this too. It had caught me off guard at first, as I was listening to this while driving home from work. I had thought to myself, YES!, that's how you use cuss words when telling a story, to make an impact, to emphasize and express the emotion and severity of your experience and convey that to your audience/listeners. Profanity has become as common as a vowel in the lexicon of today's society, and in my opinion is often unnecessary and unwarranted the majority of the time. I'm 53 and wonder if others around my age feel the same way?
@@danadams6477 I'm a few years older and yes, I feel the same. It's the last thing I expected to hear from such a distinguished doctor! A bit disappointing. Surely he could have found cleaner words to express his frustration and anger at the traditional mental health institute.
I did 4x combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan from 2004-2013. I just retired after 21 years. This guy is right.
Thank you for your service and loyalty. God bless you!
War is a truly terrible thing under any circumstances. I hope you are well and if you need support you are getting it. Best wishes.
You should read his book, it was amazing
@@Rachel-gp2vw my counselor at the VA and I talked about that book. It makes allot of sense. I struggle so much. I appreciate your thoughts.
itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewBook?id=731076045 It helped me a lot. This guy is a genius, I recommend it to everybody
Finally a doctor who understands the importance of love and understanding in healing trauma.
I don't actually believe trauma can be healed...you can mitigate the damage, but that's not healing. The brain is changed forever😢
I came here because even after successful EMDR and years of counseling, support groups, and therapy, i noticed via FB memories i get physically sick and hospitalized on the same days each year, anniversaries of trauma events in my life. I did not even know they were trauma anniversaries until i went through old diaries, journals, and FB posts. My body literally remembers and knows...
Years ago my sister in law said to me, do you realize you are always sick near the anniversary of your mother’s traumatic death (she caught her clothing on fire while in her wheelchair, died 8 days later). I was a child of family violence in all forms. I had barely turned 18 when this occurred. Once this was brought to the surface, I did a lot of inner child work. Actually on my own with help from many books. I’m no longer sick in September, I have felt the deep feelings and sat through the uncomfortable days and nights.
I've realized each year, similar time if year similar feelings happen to me as well. It's crazy how humans work
What helped?
Yes! I’m an Army vet with PTSD. I go into a deep depression on the anniversary of a traumatic event.
A lot of it is spiritual oppression too. Satan and his minions have it worked down to an art form.
"When you get traumatised, more trauma .seems to be attracted to you." So true. So true.
Seems you touched a nerve in me. Thank you.
I totally disagree. Totally! There is something like resilience, touching the bottom floor gives you a kick to elevate yourself once again ❣️
And why...the crux of the matter.
@@kristine8338 healing is not final or linear. So Kay is very correct. No one knows when the perfect storm will arise again....out of our control circumstances. Layered assaults break one down. Thankfully, with help, we can rise again. Yes, resilience is powerful but some ate targets and suffer off and on.
Just proves that everyone has been traumatized in one way or another
"stupid and simple diagnostics to firm up our relationships with the drug companies" thats spot on
We all know it, but few will say it.
I
@lizmott1726 my ssri saved my life
I was asked once by an actively naive coworker, seemingly proud of herself "Do you have any adventures planned?" I responded, withholding 99% of the intensity of my response for her psychological safety and my professional security, "I've had enough adventure for one lifetime."
She responded by saying something like "you can never have enough adventure". And I could not think of a way to effectively communicate with her that spending a year in a combat zone, going on 250+ missions to search for unfriendly contact, losing two friends to that contact, realizing you're a monster for having the willingness to hurt others and that others are monsters for not realizing your life is precious and that everyone is capable of unspeakable deeds, and realizing your brain has forgotten how and why to be a civilized person and is now only useful in a narrow and violent span of human experience and thus now useless in the world, was all an adventure, or 365 adventures, all of which I was unprepared and ill-equipped for and was, to me, tantamount to an extreme overdose of adventure and that if she knew what an adventure is she wouldn't ask for a single more minute of it ever again (nor for that matter flaunt the privilege of her naivete in my face). So I didn't say anything more.
Recently after hearing about Peter Levigne's work, I requested Somatic Experiencing trauma therapy treatment from the VA. They responded with: We only offer evidence based treatments. I wonder how the fuck they figure they should accept a dollar of pay under the guise of helping service members while not searching every corner of every modality for potential therapeutic outcomes. Apparently they're ok with waiting until someone else in the business of caring for PTS leads the way. How must it feel to fail at the one thing that justifies your existence as an institution. I voluntarily put 100% of my life (and my psyche) on the line 365 times and this is the response I get. Once again I find myself struggling to communicate how infinitely, astonishingly, embarrassingly, colossally ethically, spiritually, conceptually lacking this is.
It's not the fault of the Somatic Experiencing organization, you have to understand that big pharma operate as a mafia worldwide and have infiltrated every governmental organization pertinent to health because they want people on their drugs, not to be cured. SE has mentioned how insurance companies refuse to pay for SE treatments in favour of drugs or some might pay only partially as long as they prove they're also on meds! It's insane I know. My hope is that more of us use, demand, and make this movement popular and hopefully SE becomes an acceptable treatment accesible for everybody. Wish you all the best on your healing journey!
I totally agree. The therapies that actually work (heal) will never be covered by insurance and "health" institutions...the medical insurance companies were started and are owned by old world bankers..."medicine" was taken over by Rockf*r starting 1910 to remake it into chemical molecular industry as a new market for petroleum.
As a veteran. I know the VA does not give two fucks about us
@@NikaBanana That is so sad and maddening.
Thank you for sharing this you communicate clearly with great humanity and empathy. How tragic that war is still raging in a world that has had nothing but war and gained nothing in wisdom.
"We rarely think about love being antecedents of trauma" This really spoke to me.
I think it is quite common actually. We all know that when you love someone or someone loves you, but then some loss or betrayal occurs, that is potentially one of the most traumatizing experiences.
Black love
Absolutely
@@Werewolf0216 the most traumatising.
This is spoken of repeatedly in the Church in various ways. I tried to connect to the topic of Divine Love through overcoming trauma for my Master's thesis the first time. My second Master's thesis I hope will be able to study Love and how music and comedy connects the dopamine receptors rather than drugs or alcohol. It's probably important to take some medicine for a little bit. But. Over prescribed drugs DO happen. This guy is absolutely RIGHT. The poor, students, and those who are preparing for marriage or better ways of life are getting screwed all the time....
His contribution to society is immense. Thank you to this man. I only wish his book was mandatory reading for therapists, teachers, doctors, child protective services, and anyone else that deals with traumatized individuals. The mountain of knowledge in that book is incredible.
seems i'll have to read it so many good comments. Good video.
I have his book on Audible to listen to and on Kindle. I sound resting my eyes and listening to the Audible is an excellent way to learn from Dr. van der Kolk. I use the Kindle to look up specific items he addressed. I agree that this should be mandatory reading for everyone, especially those who suffer and those who care for those who suffer.
Cps = child traffickers
@Move Perhaps at High school level it could be recommended on the books for students to read instead of the sexual and gender brainwashing books parents are having to fight to keep out of curriculum.
I have learned that we are ready to learn to understand the teachings and the material.
We are introducing it into nursing programs.
This man is amazing. I actually prefer that he swore about war, because I can see how passionate he is to this. He gets the bigger picture. I can never understand why these are not the people who should be running the world instead of politicians.
Cause they politicians don t want peace.
Mels SF, I concur wholeheartedly with all you say here.
The electoral college made up of mental health experts, and respectful peers? That could be cool. Much better than what we have now I'm sure.
Religion and politics are by Nature run by evil people. Good people don't want to rule others. Good people refuse.
Because he is honest. And the politicians are the hypocrites elected by the people. Perception is the veil covering the eyes of people voting for judges that later make laws against us while judges, attorneys are protecting each other. There must be a shift in the entire judicial system for people to see the truth and those manipulating the laws loose control only when being removed.
Minute 49 regarding how you hold your body... I learned, as an adult in my 30s, that I could change my mood by skipping. I am not able to be depressed if I am skipping! It's rare that I can get other people to skip with me unless they're under 10 years old. Yet there are groups all over the country that skip in groups of as many as 200 people. Of course, the trick is to actually be able to make yourself get up and do it, in addition to remembering it helps when feeling so down.
Thank you
I want to skip
OMG!!! Are you me??? 🙃 I LOVE to skip! Right, no one under 10 will skip with me either 🙁 I will always skip with you. 🍭
This made me smile ... skipping !
Cool! I ‘m going to try it! Thanks.
I worked in mental health for 20 years with people diagnosed with serious mental illness. I worked at a very progressive centre where I taught Yoga/meditation but the people were all drugged up by their doctors. For the last 16 years, I’ve done bodywork with people based in Buddhist meditation practice and Ayurveda. Food is crucial for a good base to heal and bodywork releases trauma from the body. This is so right on. One must develop a spiritual perspective to manage and heal from the kinds of trauma inflicted on people in our current world. It’s time the psychotic elite that are running things be held accountable for the fear and horror they have unleashed on the wold because they want power and control.
What kind of diet/food would you suggest
@@pepper.8176 same question
@@sll110 ... fresh, fresh and fresh vegies are better than fruits. Cut way down on sugars. Lottsa water. Fresh meats, but used more as a side or seasoning. Eat fibre, but not as much as is suggested - fibre is used as a scrub for the intestines not as something to fill up on.
We don't need to be eating as much as we do even if we think it's healthy food. If you spend a larger portion of time shopping, preparing, cooking and serving you'd eat less, but healthier and happier ♡
And throw away processed “vegetable oils”. They’re not made from vegetables. They’re highly processed and turn into omega-6’s in your body which can cause inflammation. Use cold pressed virgin olive oil instead, just ensure it’s pure because a lot were found to contain unhealthy “seed or (not) vegetable oils” in them, or use avocado oil or butter made from milk from organic grass fed animals.
Definitely eat real Whole Foods like organic cruciferous vegetables. Cut out processed foods, sugar, and carbs. If you must eat carbs, get them from real organic vegetables. Meat should be real also (not processed deli meats), grass fed and organic. Eggs are a good source of protein if you’re a vegetarian. You don’t need to worry about the cholesterol because eggs have choline in them which counteracts the cholesterol. But try to get eggs from locally raised chickens that are truly free range where they can run around outside. You’ll never go back to store bought once you try them. Or get your own chicken. You do need some healthy fats to absorb fat soluble vitamins like A, D, E, and I think, K. You can get healthy fats from avocados, organic nuts, grass fed organic butter, and even bacon. Once I switched to eating real food, cut the carbs, processed food, and sugar, and included healthy fats, I lost ~25 pounds over about 7 months because I was actually satisfied. The fats help you feel full whereas carbs turn into sugar and then you get hungry again a lot sooner plus every time you eat carbs or sugars, you have drastic changes in your insulin levels which affect your mood and energy levels. Intermittent fasting also helps and is easy to do when you’re eating real food because you’re not hungry. When you fast, your body cleans up damaged cells and creates new ones.
And a good multivitamin helps to meet your micronutrient needs that might be missing in your diet.
I didn’t change my diet to lose weight. I changed it to get healthy and more natural energy. At first it seemed more expensive, but since I don’t have cravings to eat all the time due to the insulin roller coaster, I actually buy less food and feel better.
Forgive them for they have forgotten their connection to SourceGod . They will return to dust and be One with God again . I AM THAT I AM.
Only 19 minutes in and this guy has spoken more than volumes than years could.
Just told my friend this!
The only issues I have with him is the facility he works at in Arizona. Otherwise he’s amazing
Right?! I feel the same way.
“It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet. ”
― Kafka, Franz
The jokes about CBT crack me up! He is SO right! You can’t “think” trauma away.
👆💯☝🙏❤🔥
No you can't but CBT does help you acknowledge negative thought patterns so you can change them.
Lisa Patnaude@ You don't understand. Acknowledging and using your rational mind DOESNT help or change feelings in your body, which are the hallmarks of trauma. Especially, trauma that has to do with attachment or lack of secure attachment from childhood. We already know this. There's a reason cbt doesn't help people with BPD and other types of trauma that has to do with early attachment. And, the reason is why what I just explained. You can't think your way out of body based emotions. Yet, CBTz still gets founding,even with it's poor results.
Alv odin. I didn't say anything against what you are saying about feelings. I said that CBT does help you realize the negative thought patterns. This is where the saying that we are our worst enemies. It's the thinking patterns. Also, I don't believe that there is only one form of treatments, but a combination of several.
@@alvodin6197 i agree with your comment! Trauma is actually "stored" in the our energetic body. Rational thinking will not help at all.
I hope everyone there knows what a GIFT this video is.
those who seek shall find
No bureaucrat ever will.
I fell asleep depressed listening to divorceclips going through a split from an abusive relationship. Woke up to this I think it means something in my situation but I dont know what..
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
Self isolatation makes (allows) getting in touch with one's past to deal with one's emotions. The space must feel safe, and be safe.
Getting a pet can be helpful.
I’ve been self-isolated, with my covert-malignant narc. mother, for over 7yrs; because of health issues, resulting from long-term exposure to cortisol (Cushing’s Syndrome. Though, also diagnosed with DID w/maladaptive daydreams, Bi-Polar, and CPTSD. Currently in process of seeing a clinical psychologist - as I believe I also fall on the autism spectrum) - because of the relationship, with my mother (symptoms began at the age of 6 - no one connected the dots; because everything was so normal, on the outside)..
I just turned 33, and I became home kind/bedridden, overnight - and had to move back gone, so my mother could be my “caretaker” - overnight; right before my 26th birthday.
I could never put my finger on it; yet, though, I always saw her as my “best friend” - there were always problems. I seemed to be “always looking for a fight” - even though, that was always the opposite of my reactions to her behavior.
When I was 22, I took a 3-month course in cognitive behavioral therapy/leadership trainings - learning skills to, basically, undo the brainwashing of trauma; and for One to learn how to not allow their emotions to dictate their actions.
I had three of my clients recommend and enroll me - my intention was to do this training, to become better and more effective in business (I am a hairstylist, and was working in Hollywood).
Goodness, I had underestimated what I got myself into.
Thanks to the tools I learned, and the ability to practice them from 22-26, I survived these past 7yrs. - coming out as the very person I always envisioned myself becoming; personally. I’ve become the person that will absolutely be able to maintain, extraordinarily successfully, because I have used my tribulations as the driving force in my pursuit of self-mastery.
Funny thing is, is that I wrote a manifestation list, the month before I got sick; and my deal was, in order to receive my requested order - to become the very best version of myself, possible, for all those I am in relationship with (as those trainings showed me how much if my purpose is to be a relationship/leadership guide)..
That’s EXACTLY what these past 7yrs. of Hell, brought me.
And when I wrote “Hell” - I mean that literally. As my family and I also survived the “wildfire” that destroyed the small town of Paradise, CA, 11•8•18 (though, lost everything).
I am, absolutely convinced, 100%, with every quantum bit of being, if I didn’t have those tools, from cognitive behavioral therapy/leadership trainings - I would have NEVER survived.
Yet, because of all of that, and shifting my perspective, towards it, mindfully apply all the tools, I’ve learned - to the point that they become positive mindless habits and ways of being - I’ve come out thriving.
As I’ve learned, trust the process - trust YOUR process. And always remember - life happens FOR us, not to us.
@@XOChristianaNicole thank you for your story. It's amazing that some of us have discovered our will to survive and to become who we, inside, always wanted to become. I completely understand your treacherous journey. You are rare, and wonderful.
My pets are excellent Purr therapists. 🐈🐈⬛🏜👩🦳🌻🌞
I did this and yoga, working out, singing and music, dancing, meditation, dancing, jacuzzi baths, and now I’m doing journaling with art of all mediums like water color and so much more.trying to go thru the process and not feel like I’m behind.
I've been in isolation for one and a half years after a long experience of homelessness after a very painful divorce. (lost the kid and fell apart)
I've come to the conclusion I'm recovered from vulnerable narcissism that I might never have believed I could have had LOL
The ability to wake up and go to sleep without pain and an endless loneliness and alienation that was exhausting me and I couldn't make with relationships any longer.
And it turns out that in my isolation has helped me uncover the problem has been my own false unconscious beliefs and abusive self talk running in my unconscious mind.
Giving my attention to me and standing up for myself to any abuse I no longer feel isolated and lonely even though I'm actually isolated now.
I realized chasing others trying to get acceptance and approval was not what I meeded. I needed my love and attention and acceptance and kindness.
I am so shocked still...like why didn't anyone tell me this?
I grew up in a tumultuous home, fighting, violence, grudges, unkindness… etc
My mum used me as a buffer against my dad. I became the adult and rescuer. I’ve never been free of my mum and I never will. I’m 49 and she still controls my life. I could list endless ways she’s hurt me and let me down. My brother got out when he could at 17yrs old. He visits annually and is the blue eyed boy. It hurts. I’m depressed and I have chronic pain and crippling anxiety. My life is trauma, daily. All the counselling the world doesn’t help me. I’m pretty sure I’ll never feel good until mum is no longer in my life. That thought causes me so much guilt. But I know it to be true. I wish I could walk away.
I survived abandonment, foster care, a failed, highly abusive adoption, followed by aging out of the foster care system. My entire childhood was filled with trauma. It’s very expensive to try to heal. With insurance it’s cost my family over $15,000 this year. That, of course, doesn’t count towards all the medical issues that come up. The US should be ashamed of themselves for the broken systems that are out there. Getting help is very difficult .
Very similar to my growing up. So sorry you suffered the same.
True, even in Canada with socialized medicine, we don't have trauma informed pros.
Stay brave...
@@suespurgeon8858 I’m sorry about your trauma Sue. Bone of the times I wish we could speak with the people behind the comments. The only people that truly understand are the people that have worn those shoes.
@@robynhope219 thank you Robyn! Big hugs!
I often worry , who supported the wives of these veterans, we never hear about their story and how they coped with their own trauma
We suffer greatly. My husband became psychotically violent. The MPLS police treated us horrifically (same energy as they did to George Floyd) PTSD since 20's.We were all poisoned with agent orange and have many rare disorders and live with severe pain and shame of society NO HELP! uninsurable because of pre existing condition of being a battered woman and child. I am touched that you cared enough to ask. NObody cares.
@@humility1st am sending much love and care to you and your family. We hear so much about the veterans and how they struggle but nothing of the women and their families and their story. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly . Here are some facebook support groups that can offer support: Combat PTSD veterans families support group, and Support Group for Women Coping with PTSD Combat Veteran Family Members
. Go onto facebook and just type it into the search space. I've used facebook support groups for medical and abuse issues I've had and it really helps to chat with others who are going through the same thing. Much love.
That's true, like my mom. She spent most of her time talking her burdens to a friend, while we girls begged for her to get off phone. Families suffer too .. it's a family problem! But I must say .. my mom loved my mom out of that hospital & always worked with him to make good mental choices & they lived out their life always loving one another & dancing. til he got Alzheimers. connected I'm sure.
I lost my family
@@jasongentile7542 I am so very sorry. Thank you is so inadequate. I am grateful for your service and very sorry for your suffering. Thank you
Helping yourself and your children to leave traumatic cirumstances is one of the most important things we can do to protect the next generation. Leave the violence and the conflict when you can. In addition.. once we haveescaped the trauma lets help each other to rewire our unconscious reactions to move through and beyond them. This work is so important to helping our societies to move through and beyond the trauma.
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
So true. I stayed too long. The abuser wore me down/control allowed him to create a victim role and by the time I got him out, 1 child had become the golden child and the other became a surrogate for me and suffered similar abuse until she refused to see him, thank god. But I lost my son. He learned by feeling about me as his dad does, he wins his love. Tragic. Yes, get out, nothing is worse.
This was a Godsend. Family.has been thru the ringer and somehow finding this is nothing short of a miracle.
Beautifully stated!
Exaclty. What a waste of time and emotion staying around abusive people, whoever they are, dealing with the sinister motives and actions, and trying to figure out how to navigate what nasty surprise will come your way next! Way easier to get away...the farther and faster the better. It took a couple years to realize i had to help myself get out. Thank god i applied for low income housing far away, and when one came available, i moved...7 cities away, my life has been peaceful ever since. And i am now mentally healthy enough to live a normal life!
WOW...Dr Bessel and Dr Gabor Mate are two really special guys
I'm tired of living like this. I wish I had connections with people. I want to be vulnerable.
I understand what you mean. being vulnerable is a place of sheer terror for me, thats when they'd get me. Thats when they'd go in for the kill. It's okay, you'll find your way because you want to. I've only just cut contact with one of them, thought it was bad and unloving if I did, now I get it, I'm more important in my life, not them.
Totally understand that, dal20.
@dal20 , wow.. i feel ya.. the human need for connection and authenticity and intimacy
Rejoice ! You want to open the door of your heart. .!!
You want to push off and throw away the dump bags holding it back( fear of the unknown, guilty against feeling good, fear of being rejected, aversion to disappointments , fear of loosing control.....) . It Can be done .
Wanting to be free is the first step towards freedom ( from negativity that's keeping heart fromm glowing)
Me too. I'm vulnerable with people very close .. still struggle with ones who seem to have their act together. Being vulnerable is freeing. We just cannot expect another person to respond well & not get hurt or offended. Just speak your truth.
It's really useful to know that talking is only relevant if your trauma is a secret. That makes a lot of sense.
18:59 “Stupid diagnostic system that we basically built up to firm up our relationship with the drug companies”
Exactly
Hmmm... It's not STUPID. It IS the way the businesses worked.
If you hate all modern pharmaceuticals then perhaps you are saying something "Stupid."
Commerce works that way.
And...
The very curative powers of chemical combinations keep our modern overworked bodies on the vicious cycle demanded by our societies. 😜
Consider ... we have these peculiar neuronetworks because our evolving developed from croc brains or monkeys or pangolins.
Unadapted to many present human circumstances.. Yea. Try Sebastian Junger's tiny book TRIBE as one overview of warring and history. Or read some of Seven Pillars of Wisdom ...T.E. Lawrence's thrilling recollections of his arab desert chieftains and sherifs to give the British dominion over the middle east. Read parts of Lawrence. He did not want war or the responsibilities.
I appreciate pacifism. I have Quaker leanings.
Sackler family moved 10 billion worth of assets out of Purdue pharma as each year deaths from opioids continue to rise.
Capitalism rewards sociopathy
“If anyone tells you that they have found the answer, then immediately show them the door because that means that they are religious fanatics and they are not really interested in the truth.”
Such an important piece of wisdom so willfully denied in so many parts of the word
I'm not so sure. What about justice as the answer?
Isn't that just atheism? I mean some ppl may benefit off of say... Christianity? Idk
EMDR changed my life.
It should be covered by insurance and it breaks my heart that some people do not have access to it.
I have a friend who gets her EMDR covered on Medi-cal in California...
Some people want $30,000 to go through a 'trauma program'...not covered by insurance...
@@ts3858 paying 30k to relive trauma does sound traumatic.
You're lucky EMDR worked for you. I tried it, but it doesn't seem to work with long term CPTSD.
@@CJ-xe2wi I'm sorry...I haven't tried the therapy...I hope you find something that works
Thank you.
I have C-PTSD from intergenerational trauma and every kind of abuse and attachment trauma you can imagine. Thank you so much.
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
you're very strong, find myself here trying to avoid going to sleep and relate heaps. This video is everything
Feeling your pain. You are loved. Keep the faith!
Me too. God loves, God heals, God loves God heals. Over and over. God bless you.
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families; is an in-depth solution to the pain and, “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel,” many of us have with generational rigid rules and being invisible as children. God Bless ~
“Developmental trauma is where trauma meets attachment.” - Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk
Came from an alcoholic family. Sought help by a therapist who eventually abused his power & sexually abused me. Saw him for 18yrs. Public mental health system denied the abuse. Now in a psych ward trying to find my mobility after a year at home. Don't know if they'll keep me long enough.
We🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉luv you by v tv yv yvy vyvyv y yy vy v yv yvy y y v yv yvy y vyvyvy yvy yvy y y vyv yvy. Yvy yvy yvy yyyhh
meets DEtachment
This man is absolutely brilliant. I wish I could meet him and personally thank him for the work he has done. He gets it. And I DEEPLY appreciate that he called out the system that so often misses it and causes further shame for those of us who suffer from trauma, not some other bullshit, not something WRONG with US, but rather what happened to us and how deeply the horrendous shit we experienced imprinted into our very way of being. Period.
Thank you for saying trauma is "imprinted" into our being, this is what it feels like. It's not a choice.
Well said.
I am a yoga teacher. yoga meditation has helped my personal healing out of trauma and basically living life peacefully and that is why I became a yoga teacher. much love and light. Preet
At about 32 min in he talks about the body's sense of "I'm here, I'm going somewhere and I know where I am going" falling apart, "instinct of purpose" per Pavlov disrupted by trauma. Such a great observation he makes of the relative gait of the veteran.
Victim mindset!! That pisses me off because part of the problem with early childhood COMPLEX trauma is that one doesn't develop social skills and then one isolated and DO MAKE YOU A VICTIM not only of ALIENATION but of opportunists who prey on the vulnerable. Learning to protect oneself is a skill set and people need modeling and mentors and stable safe housing to try to regain losses of early childhood complex trauma especially if they are old which is sometimes when trauma comes back and cripples people who had survived through most of adulthood.
One this he misses, so far 30 min in, is that sometimes people are in the moment feeling fear NOT just because or only because of the memory of the original trauma but when trauma occurs in early childhood and is continuous it means that the sufferer doesn't get to develop skills, social skills and hobbies etc. and they have a new CURRENT reason for fear; they are so messed up and don't have the conditions in which to now as adults develop those skills.
Very good point!
Good insight.
Very good, you have a good understanding of childhood trauma and its effects.
most of the traumatized childs in abusive households are daughters and sons of traumatized parents. In Latinomaerica, where I come from nobody would admit it... and many kids coming to this world from that part of the world, pretty much brings a traumas.
@@GJ-pj4mj thanks for observation
Epiphany moment here for those who have lost loved ones and do not recover from the trauma, partly the trauma becomes a sort of vigil or pennance in remembrance of the loved one. Giving up the pain is perceived as giving up the love... Bessel is a genius.
Take a look at the animal world, they do feel some pain but mostly just move on.
@@sk.n.9302 Not elephants.
This is a deeply moral and compassionate man
Just an FYI for people that startle. There's several loud and unexpected noises in this.
i appreciate you
Thank you.
Ironic. Thank you.
How kind of you to give a warning & prepare others. Bless you!
Thank you
1:08:40 Cannabis + a yoga practice of your choosing also helps PTSD.
1:15:06 "And almost all trauma has to do with not being able to get away."
How interesting....
Can't get away...
I love the opening of this. He cusses, he's real, and echoes what I have always felt.
Yes!
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
I was watching random psych vids fell asleep and this auto played. He is brilliant! I woke up to hear this amazing lecture. SPOT ON. I have felt misunderstood, discredited...got very ill with an auto immune illness related to lyme and need mobility devices to get around...I tried meditation before, all sorts of CBT. And I got only worse. And this really validated my feelings! I have worked in a way my whole life to disengage from my body...to escape. I have a mobility service dog that helps also with psych because in public have been attacked verbally and physically and in a way I am looking for which side it is going to come from next. Doctors treat trauma survivors as if they are faking illness...and I hear this and I know...I am ok, and it all makes sense. My body is not broken, it is doing what it needed to do to survive. This guy is a GENIUS. This is the BEST LECTURE EVER.
I wish you every success with your recovery!
Dr Bessel van der Kolk M.D. I can never thank you enough for your book. It has helped me sooo much. I felt understood for the very first time in my life. I finally understood what was happening to me and how to fix it. You probably saved my life. thank you so much
So glad to know that!
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
Same here.Excellent book.
What is the name of his book?
@@nasimah5823the body keeps the score
Amazing. This guy is not only thoughtful and empathetic but also politically and socially aware.
I simply like him, not because he seems to be a good therapist, but because of how he carries himself.
This lecture is priceless. However, If I would brief it with one sentence. It would be this: "The great challenge of our work is how you go inside your self and change your brain and change yourself by becoming friends with your internal experience. " 1:28:00
14 years with the Canadian Army. Tours to Afghanistan in 07,09,10. My counselor recommended this book. Reading the first Chapter about Vietnam hit me hard with the similarities to the Afghanistan war. War is absolute shit its changed me for the rest of my life. Hit the bottle hard for years to numb the memories and voices in my head. Have had far too many friends who have commit suicide since coming home from a war we never intended on winning.
I encountered many US and Canadian Nam-vets at 20 years old. It was heart breaking to listen to them around campfires. It broke my heart to see my inner self being relived in their stories. My father was military. Initiating the change from this heritage began with those born to enact Nam. I dedicated my self to changing from the heritage of sadness with death to happiness with creation. I learned to keep my focus on me through yoga and meditation. After more than 30 years of doing this practice I cleansed my whole being, from self to Self, with the result others speak about me being 'lighter'. I don't get angry or impatient. People say I'm uber-patient. It's fantastic and tells me there is far more to experience into tomorrow with success. It's thriving because the practice is to be patient with oneself. The activity of making things with my hands helps me to being self patient.
@@alysencameron361 Great words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing. Still learning to deal with my angry from the guilt and shame. Now I channel it through weight training and intense cardio 5 days a week. Would rather my body feel sore then live in my head all day. It seems so easy to be patient with oneself. Yet its a hard thing to master. We are our own worst enemy within the walls of our head. But I'll never give up.
I was a victim of Mk-ultra. I relate soon much. I recommend Suzanne R the hypnosis "letting go of the pain" removed my programmed triggers.
@shawnw3649 They did targeted PsyOp, Various Targeted abuse campaigns, Guilt tripping, Serious Narcissistic abuse. My brain was looped for 8 months resulting in a suicide attempt where I took enough pills I shouldn't have survived. I got a picture of the burn on my head blistered from the ELF exposure.
To just name a little bit anyway. The subconscious screwy shit was pretty jacked up. Anyway hope that helps you like it gave me some of my life back.
This man knows his stuff. He is a true hero - not in his practise to make success solely for himself but to help others to live their best life. Happy that I found his videos.
23:00 he talks about remembering and then how the frontal lobe is affected. I thought I was just randomly regressing.
The fact that over 1M people have watched this is so inspiring.
After over 40 years of therapy, EMDR training was helpful in healing my childhood trauma. I’m so thankful to my therapist to introducing me to Dr. van der Kolk and his book, The Body Keeps the Score.
I’m willing to bet that when his father required absolute obedience, it stemmed from his father’s experience that absolute obedience (to that soldier that sent him to the bathroom) actually is what saved his father’s life. Somewhat misguided conclusion, if that’s the reason, nonetheless Bessel turned out amazingly gifted to bless the lives of millions. Thank you van der Kolk family 🙏🏼❤️
I came to the same conclusion and felt it made perfect sense.
As a survivor of multiple PTSD events/lifelong night terrors, this is RIGHT ON! EMDR significantly altered my awareness - combined w/6 short years of Hatha Yoga,well, there is still a lot to discover, despite now being Night Terror free. *If any studies involve concussion/ptsd healing, please sign me up
37:54 Thank you for being our voice.
In the depths of depression, dissociation, and feeling like my life was falling apart; I found this book & bought it. I read it and couldn't believe how my experiences had been explained. I simply thought it was just called depression. I had no way of explaining or understanding the dissociation I was dealing with until I read this book. I didn't know it even had a name and didn't know how to explain it to anybody. I didn't realize that it wasn't just depression, but PTSD that I have been dealing with for the last 37 years. I would also love to be able to try EMDR, but unfortunately live in a very small community that doesn't have any doctors that are trained to do it. I would love to meet, and even experience some therapy sessions with Dr. van der Kolk. I truly believe he could help me how no other doctor has. Thank you so much. This book has really helped shed light on my life and experiences with trauma.
I’m starting EMDR through video therapy. Would you consider a telehealth appointment vs going in to an office?
@@chrysandram I'm not sure how well it works via video. I guess I'd have to try it before I could say
One of the most useful, interesting and insightful lectures I've ever heard...and I went to UC Berkeley and I've listened to a lot of truly brilliant academians, interesting researchers, politicians, and scientists give talks over the years. You so rarely hear someone being so honest and just telling the unvarnished truth. It's liberating to hear.
Thank you to the Center Scene for posting this publicly! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
I cannot agree more. This was very insightfull
It feels like I am an extrovert trapped in an introvert's mindset along with reliving traumatic events from my childhood daily, I am easily triggered and hyper vigilant hence I have this intrinsic need to keep myself safe from being hurt, bullied, taken advantage of etc. I don't allow people to become close to me at all, my boundaries are metaphorically speaking, astronomical!
I've been having psychotherapy for around 4 years now, it's been very useful to gain much awareness with clarity about the multiple layers of trauma I've endured even before I was born.
afx777 me too
The extrovert feelings and introverted mindset could mean you are an infj personality, you can do a test Myers Briggs, it really helped me and helped me to heal finding out who I am, hope this helps.
Me too
Multiple layers of traumas, - this! 🤯
Sending love ❤
Extrovert trapped in an intoverts mindset. This, nicely said. Relatable. Might be also right the lady that mentioned about INFJ (and Empath too?) . All the best x
'Mind is the builder...' Edgar Cayce
Regression therapy has been extremely beneficial in helping overcome past trauma. As soon as my health is better I'll be a certified regression therapist for this so I can help vets with PTSD because I find it absolutely UNACCEPTABLE how many we lose everyday. PLEASE Don't give up!! Healers like me are out there ready to help you HEAL NOT COPE!! 🙏💚
In a similar vein, I hope to facilitate healing in others too once I heal myself ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Wow.
Thank you.
I had EMDR and it helped tremendously while meds just messed me up more. Because of the meds I got to the point that I didn't trust doctors at all, and to this day I still am distrustful of doctors. I will always be grateful to my 5th or 6th therapist who had taken the time to learn EMDR. It was the first relief I had from the symptoms of PTSD. 40+ years after the main trauma I still have problems, but I think I've healed from most of the PTSD.
One last note: The first person to ask a question at the end of the session hit the nail on the head: doctors/therapists far too many times think they know it all and aren't interested in looking for the truth about trauma and what it really does to people and what they actually need to heal. This conference gives me hope.
EMDR has changed my life too. I'm so grateful.
This book was mentioned to me in a therapy session. I, along with my doctor, have had open discussions about trauma and adverse experiences in my childhood. I am astounded that someone like Dr. van der Kolk can finally say the truth out loud, with such confidence and determination, to his peers of which he appears to humbly respect.
In watching this, I was relieved that it wasn't another sales pitch or dogmatic in any way.
My doctor and I have discussed EMDR, and I believe we are ready to approach this therapy. I was especially pleased when Dr. van der Kolk pointed out "mindfulness". Too often I become exhausted talking and "dealing with myself. Mindfulness is such a great, and forgotten, element in the healing process.
We live in a time where so much is available to us in our own healing. I often think to myself, which is more difficult?...climbing the mountain, or descending?
Not sure yet, but the view is great either way.
Have a look also at Dr Stephen Porges and Deb Dana. Also Dr Arielle Schwartz does YT yoga videos using Poly vagal theory
As a veteran and victim of most types of traumatic experiences, it is so frustrating to try and get real help. I read the book, and I kept thinking "Wow. A lot of these stories were related to actual doctors." I always get a social worker.
Spread your arms up to the sky, in the gesture of joy. “Now… Try to feel like shit”. LOL I did it. I didn’t feel like shit. I’m gonna make it a daily habit...along with skipping🧁 Doing it now. 🎠
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
23 min in. Dr you understand PTSD. Cognitive thinking is zero, go into freeze state, cannot find my words, serotonim levels zero, oxcytocin levels of the chart high. I went through this, I do not wish this on my worst enemy. So grateful to be healed.
17:30 - This is a note for myself so I will remember this secret the doctor just told. That just changed my life. Now I know why I have sided and stayed with my abusers.
Your insight is profound. Blessings
@@elizabethdehostosmclaughli5239 It's all the brilliant doctor's insight. I am reading his book now. I recommend! Very best wishes to you.
This moment was huge for me too!
I mean, I knew it already intuitively, but hearing it from a professional really helps give myself permission to recognize that truth, since I so often experience gaslighting attempting to diminish it!
@@MattAngiono I hope the knowledge frees you. "Permission to recognize the truth" - That just felt so right when you said it. Thank you.
He is truly amazing, genius. His love and compassion for human suffering and not giving up on them until he got to the truth and not accepting the stereotypes and diagnosis, I am truly grateful to him as trauma survivor, and for other trauma victims who have just started their journey. I found him only at the end of my healing, that is why I know he is a gift to all trauma survivors and psychologists and psychiatrists out there, who dare to challenge and walk down the path less taken. Thank Dr Van der Kolk.
Dream Big I feel and think the same
Meeee toooo! I for the first time ,within my trauma , I feel validated
It’s a pity he is not the norm . Love his work but it’s highly unlikely it would be possible to access someone who has the same perspective .
I just LOVE this guy! Doctor, philosopher, writer with a clear head, huge heart and a comedian too.
I have suffered ptsd. After years of therapy it only took the edge off . I then went into Eft with a trained Eft practitioner for a good length of time . It was the only thing that helped !! I can say that I am healed from my ptsd and can talk about my past like i was reading about it with no reaction . This technique is amazing !! It has save my life !!
This man is amazing. He is talking about the life I lived with my father who was abusive to me because he was a disabled Vietnam veteran. I love the way he explains the reaction to abuse and what can cause it. Ive been but on disability for Bipolar Disorder.
The number of times I said "Holy Shit!" while listening to this... lost count. Incredible. Thank you.
C'mon just because he swears doesn't take away his credibility, that's not good for you is it?
@@Carlos-sr8km I understood it as "she" (quote "I said ") "holy sh*t" because it was "incredible". Try not to search for hate where there is none. Your mission to eliminate hate is a good and noble one, but searching for it is not good for you either. Blessings, and have a good day.
Me, too. The more I cuss the more I'm invested. Weird but true.
@@Carlos-sr8km You misread the OP completely.
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22:17 - finding their way back? It's something I hear all the time. What if there's nothing to go back to? What if you were exposed to trauma at a very young age, how then will you find your way back ... back to what exactly?
What if trauma occurred at such a young age that a verbal explanation is impossible? What if the person you've become is completely intertwined with your trauma, not knowing who you would have become without the trauma?
1:38:33
Last question.
Jennifer Grove Wow, it's a typical Dutch answer, almost rude. Then again, the question was focusing on pre birth trauma. My concern was more related to a chronic trauma which started at a very young age.
I want to know the very same question! Glad you brought it up. I was exposed to trauma at probably the earliest age someone could experience it. It is all I know.
as i know you can got to very early trauma and prenatal trauma with holotropic breathwork. look up stanislav groff.
Hi Marcus. I think that when the trauma starts so early it becomes more a matter of finding the real you. Once you finally feel safe in your surroundings, safe with people, safe in your body, then you can start to find out who you are without the fear and the trauma responses. You can find the things you like, the things you're good at, new relationships, and hopefully start to feel more and enjoy your life more.
wonderful. His calmness and voice is comforting, very helpful. I see his book is on youtube. Rape is so common and yet no one mentions the source for the hate men feel that drives them to rape women, maybe if society took it seriously and made boys attend some kind of class so we had less rape? instead of women having to go through it and then learn to be martial artists to walk out of libraries, that might be healing. Just saying, all the work and suffering and finding a way to function again is on the person traumatized.
People should turn in their family and friends who perpetrate such things.
Well said. I wish everyone had your clarity of seeing & thinking.
I agree, however many men experience sexual violence as well. We make it harder for them to heal when we cateragize rape as a “ male crime”.
I am a rape(s) survivor. And I have been very angry at the men who hurt me. But I must remember and be compassionate to all the male victims out there.
Men get raped the most in prison. Then they turn that anger onto everyone else outside of that prison once they are released.
It was mentioned like history repeats itself. Example was the father who was a soldier and kept comparing his kids to his dead comrades. The son soon joined the army and he repeats the same to his own kids.
Begins at 4:45
Thank you!
Too long intro tho she's alright.
I’m like get to the goddamn point
@@alegriart I agree.
Omg thank you
Very helpful information. Yes, the trauma is not out there, it is living inside. Very true.
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
or, it is around us inside so many of our fellow humans; therefore, inside and outside because we are interconnected
I had two EMDR treatments at Kaiser Santa Teresa. After the 2nd session the doctor told me I should experience less nightmares and feel better. Instead not only the nightmares increased horrifically but I started hallucinating seeing horrible images while I’m awake. It was 24/7 of hell. The doctors decided to stop the treatment after 2 sessions. They put me on very high dose Wellbutrin, Lexapro, and Gabapentin all at once. Somehow I got 2 prolong seizures each 30min apart. The 2nd seizure wiped out my memory for days. They took me off Wellbutrin and lexapro and put me on Prozac and anti seizure meds. Recovery wasn’t easy. When I hear of EMDR or antidepressant medications I get goosebumps and my stomach hurts!
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏼have you ever heard of somatic experiencing? Dr. Peter Levine? If you like this guy, maybe check it out.
I know your comment is old but I have been doing EMDR for years and I also got some side effects such as nightmares and increased anxiety. Then through trauma experts' (e. g. Peter Levine, Bessel Van der Kolk, Ruth Lanius) videos and books I found out that EMDR like many therapy methods should not be done on its own to treat complex and severe trauma. As Bessel says, it is just a tool. I started combining it with Somatic Experiencing exercises from Levine's audio books and feel much better since then. Now I actually experience waves of joy and lightness after EMDR sessions and am thinking of doing some SE in-person sessions as well as neurofeedback to enhance the effect. I hope you've also found something that helps and are doing better now.
I have no idea how I got here. I took the trash out, came back in and it was playing. I was searching for something to listen to while I wrap presents and his words caught my attention quickly. Amazing speaker, unfortunately I know many other people besides myself who would benefit from this.
Indian culture, yoga, ayurveda ( and so many more disciplines- meditation, spirtualty etc etc etc.) has sooooooooo much to offer the world. Yoga is such a precise sofisticated science, I am in awe of it. I leave it upto the reader to explore further. I promise anyone who does will not be disappointed!
Yoga is a religion. How is that helpful?
If you are looking for books on this topic the first one you I recommend is Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery" as a foundation. Then Dr Van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score". There are other books too of course but these two are a must read in my opinion. Others can feel free to add ones they recommend. I hope those of us hurt in our past can find healing and rest for our souls and bodies.
My thinks exactly the same. She just recently discovered Herman--also on youtube.
conversations.berkeley.edu/herman_2000
my wife.
Pat Ogden 'Trauma and the Body' 👍
I've succeeded in healing my soul, but only after experiencing a brain aneurysm and surgical stroke in my 50's. Psychiatry was mostly useless, but it did teach me how to think, feel, and connect the dots. I truly believe that we must treat ourselves, even if it requires self isolation, during retirement years - when we have time to spend on one's self.
Truly amazing soul who sees beyond black and white and swims like a salmon. I can't wait to read his book. I just want to put a word in for music. I am a music therapist pursuing my doctorate in music therapy. I have been working with developmental trauma for the past 20 years...music needs to be on the list with martial arts and acting as a medium which can safely promote connection to one's inner world and ability to be still. It is a beautiful profession which is little uinderstood.
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING US AND NOT JUDGING. I BELIEVE IN HIGHER LEARNING AND REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LIFE WORK..
I absolutely love his book. It has helped me as a psychology student, one who has dealt with childhood trauma, and becoming a good foster mom. I wish I could attend one of his lecture.
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
I'm excited to learn about Bessell's research, having spent my entire adult life in therapy and the last 2 decades on meds (I am 55)....and only being able to SURVIVE, when I so want and need to THRIVE. Desperate for relief!
+Eileen Gavin Larsen Hi. Same here, word for word except Im 58. If you want an email bud: yootoo22@yahoo.com.....Al from PA
+yootoo222 Aw, thanks! Started reading his book and am amazed at the amount of research and progress that has happened just in the last 30 years, allowing me to understand a bit more why I feel I "slipped through the cracks." First EMDR session this coming week! Wishing you well, too...
+Eileen Gavin Larsen The BodyTalk System
Get off the meds ,as long as you are on them you can not heal. Be the pain even if it takes 10 years you will heal THROUGH the pain ,the stuff hidden away the stuff you hid away.
Pray -here is a mantra for you OM NAMO BHAGVATE VASDEVAYA.get up at dawn and pray.
I am speaking from experience i have read every self help book seen a lot of analysts but the last place i looked was within that`s where the answer lies.if you know you have a wound that will never heal then at least its conscious love the wound good luck
See MAPS.org and their research on MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD.
Ahhhh! Bessel is so spot on with how and why people get diagnosed with some mental illnesses. People are more complex than that. Most doctors I have encountered do not ask these deeper questions and the ones that do are stuck in an unhealthy medical system and culture. Many doctors think you are crazy if you want to talk about deeper causes for health problems. I have experienced this a lot.
I agree we lost our perspective about human beings, if we have had the correct perspective in the first place. Thank you, Dr.
My treatment approaches have been influenced greatly by Bessel's work, and I continue to learn and grow as a therapist through his books and videos. I really appreciate this being available on CZcams for all to benefit from.
We have a social norm of giving our power away to authorities. Yoga is self-empowering. Hatha yoga with a thoughtful teacher has tremendous value. I want to go on a vipasana retreat.
I picked this book up a year ago after a major clinical event that I still suffer from. Haven't read much of it but I found it very comforting considering nobody believes my physical body sensations, they all think I'm lying.
Great talk. I went through a very difficult time ten years ago where I lost my business, my house during the crash. I had worked for thirty years.
I was devastated and ended up on medication for depression and anxiety. I regret the day I ever started taking these because now I am hooked on a load of stuff.
I am still very unwell and have lost all motivation. I cannot concentrate to do anything productive.
Having listened to this talk I am going to seek out some talk therapy and try to learn more about Mindfulness and meditation.
I wish you all the best.
Talk therapy alone, only brings your body back in state off emergency. So you really have to do it with EMDR. I heard some great things off it. But I really recommend you, to go to www.wimhofmethod.com and watch on CZcams: You believe in the wrong things, that’s why you suffer | Wim Hof | Top 10 rules. It won’t cost you any money, you can help yourself. Greetings from Holland
@@carladenhoed794 Thank you for posting this information, I plan to head over and check that out also. Best Regards from Florida, USA
Fintan I went through a similar experience. I avoided the doctors as I didn't want the medication they prescribe. Its been 5 yrs since my world fell apart and only now am I feeling more myself. Its a long journey and obviously the rise on the way up, is a lot slower than the hitting rock bottom. I know you understand this too well. Therapy can help and look into your diet too, you'd be surprised what small changes can do for your concentration and energy and helping with sleep patterns. Obviously we all have different needs so its all about try and see what works for you. And its a great way of doing something for yourself. Hope you find that special peace we all want, really do, trauma ain't no joke and wish others would understand that. Wishing you a fruitful future
I wish you the best.🌿
You don't need medication in normal depression or in normal trauma...just try to adopt few hobbies,You will feel ok,also try to keep busy ypurself in house work or in any hobby or in any small job...only medication need like in sczophernia when sczophernia people need to get hospitalized...
Love in trauma - powerful statements. We hear so much about Stockholm syndrome - but what about the child who genuinely loves their parent? Growing up in a home where both love & abuse existed, being grounded in love was the anchor that kept me stable. We have much to learn about forgiveness, with appropriate boundaries, in healing from trauma.
Me too.
Exactly. Things aren´t so black and white. Like Taylor Swift writes in her song ´happiness´:
"There'll be happiness after you. But there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true. There is happiness. In our history, across our great divide"
And in the bridge section she has this powerful line: "I can't make it go away by making you a villain"
This song was such a healing moment for me. Took me a long time to get to this point.
Cringe. Love and abuse coexisting just created an expectation that people who genuinely love you are also going to harm you and that's ok, because you deserve it. This is why abused children get into abusive relationships as adults. You don't owe anybody your forgiveness, and it isn't helpful in the sense that the expectation is continued vulnerability to someone who is NOT safe. Forgiving in the sense of "just let it go" also is NOT helpful, it is like telling a depressed person to just smile. It doesn't fix things.
Rachel K Agreed. One thing is forgiving someone who is in communication and acknowledges the neglect abuse they imposed, but automatically forgiving and thinking love trump's abuse, sounds more like denial.
@@rachelk4805 I believe she’s explaining many of us grow up with both love and abuse, and in order to survive, we clung to the love. As adults, we want to get past the pain of abuse, so we learn to forgive, not for them, but for us, so we can be whole. Forgiveness in no way condones abuse. Forgiveness frees the victim of divorce.
I’m not exactly sure what I love the most the incredible amounts of truth that comes out of his mouth or the fact he couldn’t care less about other people compliments. Thank you For making my life a better place to be 🎉🙏
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
This is brilliant
CBT
Has never been so overused in the UK.
It's the only therapy offered free.
This is a disgrace as there are so many brilliant people like this man.
I'm a body psychotherapist and I fully aware of all these factors
Another good point
Traumatised people are often told about meditation and these people are often retraumatised when they meditate.
Excellent talk.
We cant get a better trauma informed expert than Bessel.
I’m grateful to find this now because my body is screaming at me and it’s time to clean it up.
This was mind blowing.... Have spent almost a decade to understand what was wrong with me.
Been misdiagnosed for a decade. There are few „experts“ who have a clue. He does, and so does Dr. Gabor Mate.
czcams.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/video.html
This is one of the most profound talks on trauma I’ve heard to date. Thank you for sharing.
Love this guy and his common sense and refuting of conventional nonsense. Just started the book. So far excellent.
I am a survivor of childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Much of the physical and emotional abuse I never repressed and in some ways found ways of processing during childhood. I have a memory of being in a a certain room at four years old, and realising that I hated my mother utterly and irredeemably ! That was a turning point. I guess when I rejected blame and replaced it with contempt towards my mother. I had repressed the memories of sexual abuse maybe until I had capacity to process the trauma ( in my mid forties). I had spontaneous regression during which I relived rape at six years old ! The witness saw and heard me squirming in pain and asked me my age ! I spoke in a heavy Lancashire accent I had then , and totally as a child ! That regression enabled me to begin to integrate the trauma by reparenting my injured and traumatised inner child ! That meant dialoguing between my traumatised child self and my empathic parenting capable adult ! I would talk her down from panic attacks , putting her to bed to feel warm and safe, soothing her with voiced words as I would an actual scared and lonely child ! In this way I integrated both the repressed experiences and my inner child as a real part of myself who deserved comfort, patience and relationship to a caring parental figure which I also was ! True I was also a qualified psychotherapist, a teacher and had many years of group therapy ! I certainly had PTSD. The kind referred to as profound and complex ! Which is an accurate description! Sounds easy ! But it was not. My intimate partner rejected me as a result ! In a way that made it obvious that repetition compulsion had put me into another abusive relationship ! I believe the unconscious inner guide does not allow us to enter deep regression until we are ready, that is equipped with healing capacity! I made progress. My whole internal mental and emotional dynamic got re jigged. The healthy maturing process that I was in no position to undertake before, I undertook then. It was time consuming, unpredictable, energy consuming, and gloriously transformative ! As too so called professionals ! They are mostly worse than useless ! Incompetence because they are ignorant and hidebound by indoctrinated presumptions through which they retraumatize rather than heal ! The only therapeutic that works well is self help group therapy with other survivors ! THEY are the experts ! There are book guides to that kind of work ! I am now a happy, empowered survivor , living as an intergrated whole , wise and so wary, kind and with self esteem and humour ! Now I said this I will listen to see if this guy has anything meaningful to say !
please enable auto-generated english subtitles
Bravo!!! I believe his success stems from his humility. Thank you! You are a gift!
God bless this wonderful man
Why, they blocked the most essential parts of the video.
@@damiendavisisraelcom8603 it said in black and white they did not show it in order to protect the confidentiality of the patience or people in the clip.
This video has found me after waking from a nightmare and not wanting to go back to sleep at 330am.
This video has given me hope and major in site in what Iam going through.
I straight away brought the book and can’t wait to get it. Until then Iam going to research drs studies.
Thankyou
This is a wonderful video by a compassionate man.
Excellent talk but I wish people would enable captions for the hearing impaired when they upload.