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What is the option when daughter-in -law doesnt get along with in-laws and now they are old ( MIL has a surgery recently and we were present for a month there . We gave them cook and nurse but son wants to be Shravan kumar) and son wants to shift them from their house in other city to own house ? Our own job is transferrable and we will not be in this city for more than few years. Should the daughter-in -law suffer silently just waiting for the in-laws to die? Our marriage is also suffering because of this. Please please make a video on this
Each word is true. My narc mother uses the same technique. Earlier i use to fight and shout. Once i realized i stopped reacting to her. She is now invisible to me.
Absolutely true. Many relatives and at times parents also fall in this category. Please have strong boundaries and run away from such people and never ever look back !!!
Finallyyy.... kisi ne wo bola ... I was tired of saying this.... Thank you.... this is true. Actions are more important than Intention.......... ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thank you Sir... Thank you... Love...
'Meri niyat kharab nahi thi' aur 'terw bhale ke liye hi keh rahe hain' dono same hain. Kisi ko itna control karo ki uska uthna baithna, khaana, peena, sona sab control karo and kaho 'tete bhale ke lie keh rahe hain'
You are a genius....one of my relatives also gave me free advice when I had painted my house that the color is looking horrendous....and she had also started the conversation with..." don't mind...but ..." I can swear by the statement that free advise is poison.
My mother is like that , pushed me to do things I never wanted to do to do , and when I fail she blamed me saying you didn’t do enough . All my life felt like nothing and nobody . I’m in my late 40 still can’t shake that feeling sometimes. The conditioning parents does can have such impact , took me long to understand.
Ever heard Teenagers Suicide note saying 'Sorry parents I couldn't make your dreams come true'. Largely I feel The parents were with good intentions only, just that they wanted to Make their child more richer than the neighbour bcoz the neighbour had poked the Papa someday in social gathering.
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!! 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 power dynamics kind of !!! Osho ji Ney iss baarey mey likha hai Ki hamarey parents , and others try to creat fear to control others!!! 🙏🏻
Aur aise hi log jab awaj tej hojati hain na apan jaise logo ki toh uska mahol bante hain ki dekho dekho ye kitna chillati hain..dekho.. Jbki ye koi nahi bolega uss time Ki ye chilla isliye rhi h kyunki tumne isko galat saabit kia hain Aur tum khudko sahi prove krne ke liye pure manipulative krte ho. Tab awaj uchi krni hi pdhti hain aise manipulative logo ke saamne.. And the spouse is number one in this list
Correct 💯, I agree that in the guise of " so called good intentions" people say rude , insensitive things to relatives , forget relatives even neighbours and acquaintances. They will meet u on the road while zebra crossing, in that one minute they will not say hi how r u instead will say oh god u have put on so much weight !!! Oh you are still not married?? Oh I heard your brother got divorced!!! Really ???? That's good intentions??? Insensible insensitive people.sorry for a very long comment but 13 .10 what u said , sui jo chub tha hai woh kisi ko dikhai nahi deta , jise sui chubthi hai woh chillata hai aur sab uski chillana sunte hai bas .
Really, I agree whenever I meet my mother she will say, you have become more dark skinned, your health seems to be bad, your gym exercise routine is also waste of time. She is so narcissistic, always tells me I have done so much for you and puts me in self guilt
You are so true sir. I had suffered a lot with this so called unwanted syndrome " MY INTENTION WAS NOT WRONG" It impacted me internally and made my life miserable for so many years. I wish everyone should understand this topic. Sir you are a great social reformer 🙏🙏
Very true.. one of my cousins is very entitled and misbehaves with all our family members. And anytime someone has a grievance from him, they are told.. ‘dil ka bahut achcha hai, haan thodi badtameezi kar di to kya hua’
I feel happy that I started asking hard questions to the people who asked "bura mat manna, ek batata hun" to make them contemplate & not give me that negative energy. Glad you spoke about it, Amit ji.
True, One of my relatives l, I would always help her out, whenever whatever she asked. But something always felt off about her she would leave no chance to make me feel unhappy about myself. Soon I realised that and distanced myself from her and she said really bitter things to me which earlier she couldn't say because her things were getting done by me. Whatever you said was exactly what I was thinking.
In indian marriage scenario ...when a bahu arrives in the house all the people of that house starts teaching her lessons like she was not living yet ...suddenly all the members of the family are very superior and she is inferior coz she is bahu...if someone ask them why r u doing such behaviour with her then they will say we r teaching her how to deal relationship with all of the family members...
Very true GURUJI ! I have identified such people in my life but as they are in such a position in my life where I cannot tell them back I have made myself so strong mentally that I can't hear what they say.
You are an epitome of wisdom for me.😊 Glad to have had stumbled upon your channel in the year 2022. My thought process improved several many times and survival tactics improved too since the time I started watching your videos.
Yes , impact is what it matters,and I think if someone has good intentions for me we can really feel it,for years i couldn't really understand one relative s intention,she was polite and shaant and gift giving but I never felt comfortable with her and I used to myself get confused when my husband doesn't feel that way,after a lifetime i realised my feelings were true and your video is more of a stamp on my realisation 😊thankyou so much
I actually faced this with a close friend, always destroying me in 100 different ways and getting away by saying "My intention was never bad, so i am not wrong". My relatives are also in the same boat, openly damaging me, manipualting me into worse life decisions and when I do not take their advice they push my boundaries. When I confronted them with anger and politely, both the cases "Our Intention is not wrong" and the narcissist ones insults me and gets ming boggling angry when confronted. All in all I relate very much with your thoughts. And my step is to distance such people completely from my life.
Sir ...Please write a book on these practical aspects of life..No book is in the market is giving such a insight in a Indian household..Thankyou from the bottom of my heart to giving us such a valuable lesson of life..
Strongly Identify. Death by a thousand needles is so true. Aise logon ko agar mana karo ki nahi milna zyada toh bolte hain ki kyu beta kya hua, and in response to that you can never mention any one needle as you feel silly.
Sir I am 19 year old ek dum simple toh aap samjate ho magar kabhi kabhi samaj nhi ata so please try aur kariye mere jaise bache ko bhi samaj aye Thank you ❤ Btw my intention was no Bad😊
Purchase the Relationship Workshop now by clicking on link below: yqthl.on-app.in/app/oc/477780/yqthl?
Click above and download the Sango Life Sutras App and purchase.
Once purchased, WhatsApp back the generated receipt to 9289886158.
I-Phone users to use the Org code give below :
yqthl
What is the option when daughter-in -law doesnt get along with in-laws and now they are old ( MIL has a surgery recently and we were present for a month there . We gave them cook and nurse but son wants to be Shravan kumar) and son wants to shift them from their house in other city to own house ? Our own job is transferrable and we will not be in this city for more than few years. Should the daughter-in -law suffer silently just waiting for the in-laws to die? Our marriage is also suffering because of this. Please please make a video on this
Aisa bhi ho sakta hai ki impact bahut achha ho lekin intention galat ho. Achhe impact aur galat intention vale apna chehra kafi dino baad dikhate hain. Ye baat bhi kafi jaroori hai.
First of all thank you so much sir for explaining this deep concept in such simple terms sir . I strongly agree with your observation sir .
Narcissistic abusive parents have destroyed so many lives, you are doing a great job, we have to call these selfish narcissists out
"don't tell me what they said about me, tell me why they felt comfortable saying it in front of you? "
Bang On👍🏻
Each word is true. My narc mother uses the same technique. Earlier i use to fight and shout. Once i realized i stopped reacting to her. She is now invisible to me.
Same here
"If your intentions are truly good, you will change your ways when you realize it affects others."
Absolutely true. Many relatives and at times parents also fall in this category. Please have strong boundaries and run away from such people and never ever look back !!!
Impact matters way more than Intention
Dil saaf hai
Pet saaf hai
Dimagh b saaf 😂😂😂😂 what a great sense of humour 👍👍
Finallyyy.... kisi ne wo bola ... I was tired of saying this.... Thank you.... this is true. Actions are more important than Intention.......... ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thank you Sir... Thank you... Love...
80's /90's ki generation apni poori Zindagi doosro ke intentions ki take care karne ke chakkar me apna katwate aayi hai 😑
Sachme
Parents ki vajha se kata hai jyada problem jo joint family sabse chota ladka hota hai usko bhut problem hoti hai uski to zindagi kharab hai
Dil ki baat bol di bhai 😢
Bitter truth 90ths 😢😮😂
Very true.
It's because we were wired by our family in this way
Intentions ke naam se apne dil mein jo hai wah masking se bol deta hai .. very dangerous such people are .. well said sir ❤
'Meri niyat kharab nahi thi' aur 'terw bhale ke liye hi keh rahe hain' dono same hain. Kisi ko itna control karo ki uska uthna baithna, khaana, peena, sona sab control karo and kaho 'tete bhale ke lie keh rahe hain'
Bilkul😢😢😢
You are a genius....one of my relatives also gave me free advice when I had painted my house that the color is looking horrendous....and she had also started the conversation with..." don't mind...but ..."
I can swear by the statement that free advise is poison.
Whenever someone says that his intention was not wrong, most of the time his intention was to pursue his own agenda, which may not be good for you.
Listened to your advice said it to parents now I’m homeless 😢
😂
😂
How?
😂 सही
और ले ले... Advice
This phrase is so typical in a narcissistic family or rishtedaar .. thank you for bringing awareness on this
My mother is like that , pushed me to do things I never wanted to do to do , and when I fail she blamed me saying you didn’t do enough . All my life felt like nothing and nobody . I’m in my late 40 still can’t shake that feeling sometimes. The conditioning parents does can have such impact , took me long to understand.
take ur......take....understand...
Exactly same with me
Ever heard Teenagers Suicide note saying 'Sorry parents I couldn't make your dreams come true'.
Largely I feel The parents were with good intentions only, just that they wanted to Make their child more richer than the neighbour bcoz the neighbour had poked the Papa someday in social gathering.
💯💯
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!! 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
power dynamics kind of !!! Osho ji Ney iss baarey mey likha hai Ki hamarey parents , and others try to creat fear to control others!!! 🙏🏻
सही बात है चिल्लाने वाले गलत कहलाते हैं मगर कोई देख नहीं पाते ki उसके साथ क्या हो रहा है
Aur aise hi log jab awaj tej hojati hain na apan jaise logo ki toh uska mahol bante hain ki dekho dekho ye kitna chillati hain..dekho..
Jbki ye koi nahi bolega uss time
Ki ye chilla isliye rhi h kyunki tumne isko galat saabit kia hain
Aur tum khudko sahi prove krne ke liye pure manipulative krte ho.
Tab awaj uchi krni hi pdhti hain aise manipulative logo ke saamne..
And the spouse is number one in this list
🎉🎉🎉🎉
The road to hell is paved with good intentions- Shri Guru Rohit Arya.
See the impact, not the intentions- Guruji
> The road to hell is paved with good intentions- Shri Guru Rohit Arya.
Great quote!
Correct 💯, I agree that in the guise of " so called good intentions" people say rude , insensitive things to relatives , forget relatives even neighbours and acquaintances. They will meet u on the road while zebra crossing, in that one minute they will not say hi how r u instead will say oh god u have put on so much weight !!! Oh you are still not married?? Oh I heard your brother got divorced!!! Really ???? That's good intentions??? Insensible insensitive people.sorry for a very long comment but 13 .10 what u said , sui jo chub tha hai woh kisi ko dikhai nahi deta , jise sui chubthi hai woh chillata hai aur sab uski chillana sunte hai bas .
Really, I agree whenever I meet my mother she will say, you have become more dark skinned, your health seems to be bad, your gym exercise routine is also waste of time. She is so narcissistic, always tells me I have done so much for you and puts me in self guilt
You are so true sir.
I had suffered a lot with this so called unwanted syndrome
" MY INTENTION WAS NOT WRONG"
It impacted me internally and made my life miserable for so many years.
I wish everyone should understand this topic.
Sir you are a great social reformer 🙏🙏
Very true.......
100% correct and need of the hour. Impact is what finally matters not intention.
God bless you.
Best Video ever...Thank you so much for sharing..Every word is hitting like a hammer, absolutely right. Control...control and control.
Very true.. one of my cousins is very entitled and misbehaves with all our family members. And anytime someone has a grievance from him, they are told.. ‘dil ka bahut achcha hai, haan thodi badtameezi kar di to kya hua’
I feel happy that I started asking hard questions to the people who asked "bura mat manna, ek batata hun" to make them contemplate & not give me that negative energy.
Glad you spoke about it, Amit ji.
Aap sahi bol rahe hain....log focut ka Gyan deke negativity faila jaate hain...❤
I understand what you say... Thank you Guruji!! I run away from these type of people...
True, One of my relatives l, I would always help her out, whenever whatever she asked. But something always felt off about her she would leave no chance to make me feel unhappy about myself. Soon I realised that and distanced myself from her and she said really bitter things to me which earlier she couldn't say because her things were getting done by me. Whatever you said was exactly what I was thinking.
That's a very good topic 💯 People especially in South Asian countries need to understand to be within their limits.
"death by thousand cuts " very profound video !
In indian marriage scenario ...when a bahu arrives in the house all the people of that house starts teaching her lessons like she was not living yet ...suddenly all the members of the family are very superior and she is inferior coz she is bahu...if someone ask them why r u doing such behaviour with her then they will say we r teaching her how to deal relationship with all of the family members...
Why go into the boys house... move out, marry someone who is man enough to buy a house, you can also work and help him pay EMI. Build together.
Very true GURUJI ! I have identified such people in my life but as they are in such a position in my life where I cannot tell them back I have made myself so strong mentally that I can't hear what they say.
You are an epitome of wisdom for me.😊 Glad to have had stumbled upon your channel in the year 2022.
My thought process improved several many times and survival tactics improved too since the time I started watching your videos.
Very accurate 👌 this can save many individuals from gaslighting
Aap sahi time pe sahi topic leke aate ho. Totally agree with every word. Thank you!
Yes sir.i m suffering from this type of person as my husband
True even parents are good to one sibiling and toxic to another.
Yes , impact is what it matters,and I think if someone has good intentions for me we can really feel it,for years i couldn't really understand one relative s intention,she was polite and shaant and gift giving but I never felt comfortable with her and I used to myself get confused when my husband doesn't feel that way,after a lifetime i realised my feelings were true and your video is more of a stamp on my realisation 😊thankyou so much
People say / comment by good intention actually triggers the other person not understanding how much it affects the person or family members
Its borderline Manipulation tactics which they use.
Well explained.... Huge respect of U... 🙏
Sir bohot bohot shanti mili ye sun ke. Like genuinely, thanks a lot
Very right sir, thanks for putting these things into words. Huge impact Sir 🙏
MAG
Gehrai se samjane k lie video dobara dekhni padegi or vichar karna padega
Thanks for unique topics guru ji
Yes right.. Bhot gharo m pati sas nanad sara sasural wale torcher krte h bhu ko fir kahte h. Nhi hmara ye erada nhi tha
Sir bilkul Sahi Kaha aapne.
I agree with you totally...thanks
Independent events are mostly used to victimize someone but others do not see the whole picture so victimize the victim itself.
Good 👍
Sir what an amazing video. Yes it has happened many times. Impact vs Intention 👍🏻
Thank you for the video
I actually faced this with a close friend, always destroying me in 100 different ways and getting away by saying "My intention was never bad, so i am not wrong". My relatives are also in the same boat, openly damaging me, manipualting me into worse life decisions and when I do not take their advice they push my boundaries. When I confronted them with anger and politely, both the cases "Our Intention is not wrong" and the narcissist ones insults me and gets ming boggling angry when confronted. All in all I relate very much with your thoughts. And my step is to distance such people completely from my life.
Amazing video!!
Totally yes.. The impact is more important.
This impact Chronikly on
Your health,mind ,money
& behaviour.
Absolutely right
Very well said
you say very logical and correct things!
Sir ...Please write a book on these practical aspects of life..No book is in the market is giving such a insight in a Indian household..Thankyou from the bottom of my heart to giving us such a valuable lesson of life..
Kya baat h, more than intention the impact matters!! Never thought this basic this way.
Thanku. I too have been into this
Great learning sir thanks for giving such insights.
Very very important topic jis par aap bata rahe ho bilkul sahi 😊
Nice explanation, very new concept learned.
Very good, i have seen such people with this kindly of good intentions in family, office teams. 😊
You are completely right.
100% true guruji .
Thank you 🙏
This is such a brilliant topic.
original insight.... amazing
Thankyou Sir
This is the core reason of mental stress
I can truly relate with this sir. Very close family members emotionally control us with this one line.
Your evan single word holds water..Sir g🙏❤
Dil se dhanyawad..
Thank you so much sir,you are very right 🎉❤
Well said Guruji far superior speech than a professional so called psychologist 🧑⚕️
What you say is so logical, we have to have courage to stand by
@Sango life sutras . Hats off to you 👏🏻👏🏻You are doing Amazing job 👏🏻👏🏻
I have now learned to create hard boundaries around me .
Very much needed for mental peace
You are right sir, everyone will advise you according to their own mindset
You are absolutely right
Absolutely true 💯... Each and every word is the reality...
Right sir hamara mann saaf hai bol bol ke sunai dete hai
Thank you ❤
Thank you sir!
Incridible 🎉practical effective inspirational ❤Sr ji respected 🙏
Good topic.. commonly used by many "close" relationships
Thanks Sir 🙏
Strongly Identify. Death by a thousand needles is so true. Aise logon ko agar mana karo ki nahi milna zyada toh bolte hain ki kyu beta kya hua, and in response to that you can never mention any one needle as you feel silly.
Sir I am 19 year old ek dum simple toh aap samjate ho magar kabhi kabhi samaj nhi ata so please try aur kariye mere jaise bache ko bhi samaj aye Thank you ❤
Btw my intention was no Bad😊
Very right .
Thanks. ❤
Yes it is true, even parents did it
Very true sir. Right said
Blkul sahi bataya aapne Guruji ❤❤😊
Excellent video
You are correct sir
I felt this then take my step when I got last chance in my life
Very Important 🙏🏻
This video was posted a few months ago, and I had 'liked' it
Happend to me
Great work
Amazing advice 🙏👍
So true those who suffers can better understand felt relief that what i have been observed by now i was right
Bilkul sahi sir correct baat hai
Well said Sir❤❤❤👌👌👌