I long to be loved, and it is a constant anguish. What am I to do? | J. Krishnamurti
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
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Saanen, Switzerland 1983 - Question #2 from Question and Answer Meeting #1
'I long to be loved, and it is a constant anguish. What am I to do?'
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"Love is not something to be asked for" How right that is.
I liked when he said something along the lines of “if you ask for love, you don’t have love”
This made my hairs stand on end. I've listened to so many of his talks and read many books on him, but this speech is probably my favourite. His passion for truth honestly moves me to tears.
This is a message that is needed so much . . . People appear to be SOOOO confused when I say that I love myself . . .
It's not about loving yourself. That's selfish and self centred. It's about being in the state of love.
This speech moves me into tears. Deep gratitude for Krishnamurti.
such a sweet kind man
If you have love in you and if you share it with others, love reciprocates..is one view
If you can let go the "I" in you and spread your love universally without the feeling of " i want this or that", the pain of expecting love from others vanishes...the yogic life
The clarity of his mind and the ease he expresses with, everything is just incredible. It's like love itself is expressing through him. How beautiful!
“We are making ourselves to beggars. It may be okay, but see the consequences of it. We are always depending on somebody else.”…. True words have never been spoken 😊
“If you have no love within you, then you are incapable of receiving love.”
6:54 I have reduced all my life, which is such an extraordinary thing, to a small affair, that you love me. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
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Thank you for writing. I couldn’t catch the word “affair” as he spoke almost silently and was thinking 🤔 what exactly he said 🥂
@@ksami107 There's caption available.🖤
You dont stretch out your hand and beg for love.....such profound wisdom delivered so beautifully that I got goosebumps and tears in my eyes
"If you really LISTEN -- with your heart, with your mind, with all your being -- then you have a space. Your brain becomes quiet. Then you LISTEN. Then that very listening is like a seed that is being sown. Then you don't have to do a thing. It then grows and multiplies." ✨🌷 10:10
I didn't understand when he said LISTEN. Listen to what/whom?
@@sudhendrakambhamettu1092 listen
It really works, I was anguished and when I heard this particular part, my brain really calmed down.... Amazing im feeling calm and relieved
A few thoughts on how K speaks - in my view, it is beneficial to approach his talks as an attempt to understand, not an attempt to answer, the questions that he takes. He is not interested in providing soluitions or answers because what suffices for one may not suffice for another. As the saying goes, he is not interested in giving out fish - he is interested in teaching us how to fish out the movements of thought that lead to our dilemmas and quandaries. He does provide examples so that some may follow his method better, but by and by it is essential for each of us to sit down and follow our own thoughts to understand what brought us to the quandary that we are facing.
In effect, the real work of any aspirant who listens to K begins after the response is heard.
Thats so simple and so profound "We are making ourselves into beggars.."
what a man to have walked the earth!!
"this is your life, are you following?" he REALLY wanted to help them (and us all) understand themselves.
"human beings with their self-centred activities become lonely." each time we choose a zero-sum game because we don't want another to flourish, for whatever reason(S), each time we power-play and make another feel the anguish at being helpless under our designation or money power or connections, etc., we create more and more walls between us (mighty and secure with the power over others) and them. i am in this too. i can see each time i feel superior to another in any way, it is delineating.
many thanks to the organizations doing this work of making this available to us.
Well....i'm in love with this man....that says something about how love can enter your soul.
and YES! This is one of the greatest speach of all times no doubt!
11:30 If you have love, you don't ask anybody to be loved.
How can another love you... what a great teacher this man was. I love him,
If this talk doesn't cure one of neediness and attachment, what will?
Clear .. as crystal.
Simple as that.
Like a bad habit to just listen fully, is to drop the habit forever.
What synchronistic timing. I felt so miserable last night, for the first time in almost a year.
HE IS REALLY CAPABLE OF REDUCING A BIG PROBLEM INTO A SIMPLE LOGIC.
That fly bothering him felt really lonely.
The fly was looking for some love from Krisnamurti at 6.28...but it was an unrequited one.
We're born, live, love. learn, and die in solitude. From this solitude we try to go back to the real freedom, truth, beauty, goodness and love, the real abode. Maternal love is a comparable derivative of this LOVE in this physical realm, other relational love pale in intensity except to satisfy the procreation instincts, powerful but still instincts. Feel the energy, the joy and love in solitude, be alone but not lonely. Thanks K and friends.
I don't know how but, that fly never interrupted him once after he pointed out.
I noticed that too
Not only that fly even i am fond of u....😄🙏
Take it easy mam
Listen carefully, and the problem is gone ! Its a thing of ones passion that helps germinate everything precious in oneself !
well written Ravi
I didn't understand when he said LISTEN. Listen to what/whom?
@@sudhendrakambhamettu1092 listen to the moment with with all your senses
The pain on his face at 4:30 :/ his grief is so visible
One must love him self first and then we can love each other
Time and time and time. I come back. I hear new things.
i have never seem him so agressive like in 6:25 !
This is one of the greatest speach of all times guys......
damn fly!
Siesta!
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏,........thank you
Wow so amazing❤️
This is a wonderful answer
What a beautiful message
Thanks for quieting my mind🥰
So many words! And yet the only kernel of an answer is here, near the end: "If you have that tremendous feeling - not feeling - a quality, a depth, a beauty, then you don't ask anybody for love. It is like a cup being full."
Uh, great. And that's achieved how, exactly? Oh, meditation.
But that's not much of an answer. It doesn't frame the realization that can result from deep meditation. Maybe try this:
The need for love is like the need for food. Deprived of food, you feel hunger. Deprived of love, you feel loneliness. The longer this deprivation continues, the more excruciating the response in the body and soul--"I need this, I need this, without it I'm going to die." If it goes on for too long, you just might!
Food, being physical matter, must be sought somewhere outside ourselves. Love too can be sought outside, from other people, but being emotion, which is simply another way to say Spirit, or God, it can also be sought within ourselves. This is accomplished by quieting our minds and reaching out with our hearts to the very Source of our being.
Loving is wonderful. Being loved is wonderful. Loving and being loved in return is the most wonderful thing of all. It is the condition of bliss. The desire to be in that state is innate to us. It's not a flaw--it's a feature. It's how we were designed. As children of our Creator, bliss is our birthright.
Your anguish is not a punishment. It's a call to realize your ultimate purpose, which is to come to know and experience yourself and the Goddess in a state of mutual desire and affirmation.
So sit quietly with your aching heart. Understand that the true object of its desire is not a human person, but the Sacred Person. And know that Person longs for you, too, but to an infinite degree. Your pain is a promise! You *will* have the love you seek, and sooner than you think. In fact, it's already here. You simply have to train yourself, by meditating, to perceive it.
This is beautiful, i think I understand some parts of it. But I don't really believe in God or a higher power. It makes it more difficult for me since it feels like I don't have a destination to look up to. But that is what JK is trying to point here, unless I am looking for something I will always be anxious in one way or the other. The real acceptance comes from within and its difficult to accept and love myself, it seems selfish to me :( I am stuck
@@spreefeech7634 You already Are that which you seek. You are Love when all that has obscured what you really Are has been transcended. Love is what you Are when the mind is quiet. When you are Present as Awareness Itself there is Love. When you realise the Love that you are, you no longer need to seek it from outside yourself. You no longer have any demand that another Love you or make you happy. You have the true Source of Love, Happiness and lasting Peace already within your own Being just waiting to be Realised.
This answer is straight to the point and so much more helpful than what this man is doing. Humanity needs these kind of answers. The fact that our whole lives are based on fear, and lack of self love, is because the controlling systems will do anything, to let us believe we are not good enough. Which creates negative believes and feelings and division. Not many people really love themselves, and by self love I don't mean buying yourself more things we don't actually need, or doing things to look as is accepted by the fake norm. No teacher is addressing these facts, nor why we need forced vaccinations as from birth on, without knowing what this does to our dna/ mind/ soul etc. There must be a reason why controlling systems wants to control us, vaccinate us and dumb us down and kill our joy. We are being disconnected from our true selfs. Whatever that might be. There is more depth to our lives and feelings, than is acknowledged in this speech. The fact that most of humanity is sick and depressed is proof that something really important, has been taken from us. The mindcontrol has somehow taken our minds in a prison of negative believes and thinking about ourselves and others. Why is no man speaking of this, that would be an really helpful and interesting teaching. I loved your answer, made screenshot of it. Thank you for being clear and honest. 🙏❤️
@@IAMinfiniteandfree. Krishnamurti points out the problem but not the solution. Navel gazing alone is not the answer. We are part of society and the control mechanisms that shackle us.
@@spreefeech7634 Think of it this way when having trouble to love yourself... Why not? How selfish is it to love someone else without loving yourself, that's being dependent on the other to feel good. How much pressure are you putting on the other person? Now that is in actuality selfish, and codependent. That's why you must first love yourself before even starting a relationship. Only if you really love yourself, another can mirror that to you and also love you. Don't worry that you are not there yet, most of humanity doesn't know this and have codependent attachments. That why so many realities fail. Not loving yourself is also an insult to your creator. You also need to focus on how you speak about yourself! As a man thinks so he will be. Remember that.
Very insightful.
This is beautiful!
God bless you
wow....! 😙 I know 💖 & the problem is gone.
An excellent explanation - amazing. Thank you sir
Such a gem.. ❤
thank you friend
Very profound message 🙏🏿🙌🏿
Divine soul krisnamurti !
If you can’t love yourself how the hell can you love somebody else. Can I get an Amen! 🤗🤗
His intellect is unmatched.
great
Profound. Gotta read/watch more stuff by him.
what a marvel!
Miss you legend sir
I love you so much, thank you ☺
Thankyou
damn fly
He is real knowledgeable person
Not knowledgeable but inner - standing
Only when I quiet my mind; my thoughts. Only then can I see the truth in the matter.
When you accept the love you deserve and give it back to the other with no conditions just give it from your soul .. its about accepting and understanding and let go and embrace in the end ..
Absolutely true
I think I now know who Yoda was based on. “Love in your life do you need young Jedi”
Absolutely !!!
This particular fly is very fond of me!🤣✊🏽
In Marathi there is a saying which goes like, "Sagla kalata pan kahihi valat nahi."
@I understand everything clearly what I am being told to do yet I find it difficult to act upon that Awareness achieved.
True said ! One can also add another Marathi saying, "Ye re maazya maagalya.." which humorously conveys that, we all eventually fall back to our comfort zones, however sorrowful they are !
@@sourabhraghavendra7345 What happens when My discomfort becomes comfortable and comfort becomes discomfortable.
Mhanje lines agadi blurred zalele aata🙃😶🙂
I believe there's a difference between understanding something clearly intellectually and realising same thing.
When one realises something, it's effects on their life, one involuntarily, effortlessly acts. For that we need to get over intellectual stimulation, see beyond it and face the fact as it is.
@@anupnaik422 I think I lack the ability to comprehend what exactly You want me to make out of this reply... 🙃
I want to be loved because is a normal human behavior . I want to love and give affection and I Want to feel the affection of others . Is part of being human .
so does that mean JK is talking about going beyond human?
There is no love in thoughts and there is no love on attachment. Just because most people suffer from a certain dynamic doesn’t make it healthy
@@cherubienas2185do you say it is conditioning to want to be loved by another
Did you really listen clearly and attentively ?
"If you don't have love within yourself, then you are incapable of receiving it."
This sentence is not clear to me. Can someone please explain.
Love is not transactional. Then its not love but a conditional thing. “I do something for you so you give me this so called love”. If you are disconnected from love within, you are automatically disconnected from love with-out. You cannot “receive” it from the outside.
I found this sentence odd and untrue. If someone loves you it is very possible to receive that love. How else do people fall in love all the time. Someone must make the first move.
Perhaps what he means is that if you are a cold, heartless person, or a user, then another person's love means nothing to you. As you have no model of love within you. And you can't understand or appreciate their love.
@@yoya4766 No brother you are wrong.
It's the game of duality.
What one gives out
one gets back.
Universal law.
Doesn't apply here. Out of context.
And I was thinking/hoping love was a selfless value...
Love seeks not for itself.
Than how can you explain little children being abused? They are love, not aware of negative feelings or emotions.
6:54 oh my loooord
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❤️❤️
💗
🙏
🌺🌺🌺
This is so me
Victim of narcissistic parents need love
🙏🙏🙏
Love is not something to be asked for .
Wow@ 6:53
So then, how do you REALLY listen? How do others develop that quality, or skill?
He's asking us to listen, apparently to him. But doesn't that make oneself a beggar (according to what he just said)
Great! Nobody, from Adam, to Moses, to king David and his Son, the Wisest Man ever, King Solomon, to the prophet Mohamed, to Jesus himself, did not take you to the door of understanding,....Love, as a Living, Timeless, Action, in Reality!!
Let´s go to the question: "What is love ?" :)
Baby don't hurt me
@@sayedalazam4228 my thoughts exaclty! 😂
No more
If you don't love yourself, what's the use of someone else loving you?
I think, it is love in yourself and not love yourself.
Escaping from the self and sucking that light and delicious companionship no ?? Absolutely yes
12:57 remind me of a girl i didn't entered with her in a relationship cuz she had no love completely and she asked me to said i love her , for god sake ,human being must awake right now or neverrrrrr....
I endorse MR. Dedrick Malone views below.
J KRISHNAMURTI is something extra ordinary philosopher. why j.krishnamurti official channel is not giving clear sub tititles in English. We are finding it somewhat difficult to understand. Englishmen pl help.
+mohan sundaram Here's the transcript:
2nd QUESTION: I long to be loved. And it is a constant anguish. What am I to do?
Is the question all right?
Aren’t most of us in this position? We all want to be loved, specially by one. Now let’s go into this. I have got quarter of an hour. It is a very complex question.
Why do we want to be loved? And why has it become anguish, an anguish? What is the cause, the root, or the motive, wanting to be loved? Do you understand my question? I want to be loved by you - god forbid - but I want to be loved by you. Why? Is it I am lonely? Is it that I feel if I am not loved I have no raison d’etre to live? Is it that if I am loved I feel I can flower, grow, be happy and all that? Right? Is it that in myself I am nothing but when you love me I become something? You are following all this? Please this is your life, not my life. So please listen to this. So there is a cause which makes me say, ‘I want your love’ - right? There is a cause, there is a motive, there is a background which says, ‘I must have that’ - right? So we have seen some of the causes. I am desperately lonely. You all know that, don’t you? Married, unmarried, whether you are amongst a group and so on, human beings through their self-centred activity bring about loneliness. Right? Is that one of the causes of the desire to be loved? As long as there is a cause the effect is to demand that you should love me - right? So can I understand the cause and be free of the cause? You have understood what I am saying? Please sir, this is your life!
I am lonely, depressed, isolated and feel desperately unhappy, and if you love me I will say, ‘By Jove, everything is so beautiful’. So my demand, my desire, my longing, is based on loneliness, demand for companionship, with whom I can talk, unfold and all the rest of it. So there is a cause - right? Now do I see the cause, actually? The cause is I am lonely. I am taking that one instance. I am lonely. And I want you to love me, for god’s sake. And you don’t. You turn away from me. Either I commit suicide - right? Or I become full of anxiety - right? Depressed, more depressed than ever. I then escape from myself - football, church, new guru, or the latest literature, or the latest picture, talk about it - right? So is the cause of loneliness seen? Loneliness is a sense of isolation - right? The isolation comes into being as long as I am self-centred, thinking about myself, I am unhappy, I want you to love me - you follow? I have reduced all my life, which is such an extraordinary thing, to a small affair, that you love me. You understand? Such a petty little affair I have reduced it to. And being isolated I am unhappy and I wish you, I crave for you to love me. (Fly settles on K’s face) This particular fly is fond of me! (Laughter)
You understand? See the tremendous complexity of a very simple question. I want to be loved and I am not loved therefore I am full of anxiety. And the questioner says, ‘What am I to do?’. When the brain is caught in such anxiety, such anguish, it can’t think clearly, can it? Right? It can’t even listen, it is so full of its own anxiety, its own sense of desperation. Now can there be an interval in which you listen? You understand? A short period in which you say, ‘Tell me about it’ and then will you listen? Or will you say, ‘No, I don’t want to listen because I still love being in a tremendous state of anxiety’ - you understand what I am saying? Most people do. Without that sense of anguish you are nothing. That sense of anguish keeps you alive - no? Oh, come on, sirs, this is all ordinary psychology, childish psychology. So will you, if you are in such anguish, for a few minutes, listen to what is being said? Or you love your anguish so much you don’t want to listen?
So as we were saying the other day, if you really listen, with your heart, with your mind, with all your being, then you have a space, your brain becomes quiet, then you listen. Then that very listening is like a seed that is being sown, then you don’t have to do a thing, it then grows, multiplies. And when you understand love is not something to be asked for, you don’t stretch out your hand to be loved. That means you are dependent on somebody. That means you really don’t love at all. If you are asking another to be loved, if you are asking to be loved by another, that means you have no love in yourself. It is so obvious. If you have love, you don’t ask anybody that you be loved. You see we are making ourselves into beggars. That is what is happening. When you go to church, pray, we are beggars. When we want somebody to help us, we are beggars. Or when we depend on books we are beggars. It may be all right to be a beggar but see the consequences of it: you are always depending on somebody else. And there are all those people who will help you fill your bowl full of their rubbish.
So, see what has taken place when we hear this question: I want to be loved, and I am not, I live in great anguish, what am I to do? That means one has no love in oneself. Then how can another love you - you understand? If you have no love and you are incapable then of receiving love - you understand? Love is not a vacuum, like a sense of emptiness. On the contrary. If you have that tremendous feeling - not feeling - a quality, a depth, a beauty, then you don’t ask anybody for love. It is like a cup being full. Right? If you have listened to this very carefully, then the problem is gone.
+J. Krishnamurti - Official Channel
Thanks a lot
poor fly
be helpful; unselfish ..not a shellfish like you are now.
Being unselfish is selfishness.
Get to the point already, I'm drifting off...
I guess you will never understand . Think think think
Getting to the point rises more questions so taking it slow will give the clear answer or it will reduce the questions
Yeah, as much as I love him, he's notorious for that...really milks the thing
@@shhrage well said
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