Do I have to Do Deep Emotional Work to End My Pain or Symptoms?
Vložit
- čas přidán 3. 07. 2024
- Do I have to Do Deep Emotional Work to End My Pain or Symptoms?
--------------------
Valuable Resources:
IsThisPDP.com - place to assess your situation.
DansCZcams.com - archive of daily videos. Over 1800 and counting.
DansFastStart.com - The best place to begin your journey. This playlist really covers what is going on, how to know if it is relevant to you and what to do next. Watch, take notes, implement, repeat.
PainFreeYouSuccess.com - Tons of Success Stories.
PainFreeYouGroup.com - if you want more help and direct access to be coached by me.
paypal.me/DanBuglio - If you wish to donate to support my channel, do that here:
Want to join my private Facebook Group? Come join us here:
/ painfreeyounow
Follow me on Instagram: / danbuglio
I think being able to feel our emotions in the body in the present moment without narrative is very deep emotional work itself and for many of us takes a lot of practice and courage. Fear is also an emotion and changing our relationship with fear and fear of the symptoms also seems to be vital, so either way it's emotional work I guess.
Beautiful said ty ❤❤❤
So True 💕💕
Exactly my thoughts..💜 plus we are all different and may come to that road from a different path. Getting to know yourself on a deeper level is part of growth and for some people that may be doing some emotional work..☺️
about four years ago, I tried to step in the program also. But it didn’t seem to work. The last four years I found out I have PTSS and dissociation. But I don’t know of any big trauma in my life, not on a conscious level. But for some reason I did not feel safe in my body. And I had some help with that, not to drop into a story, because I didn’t have one, but by feeling and experimenting with a therapist. A therapy without words, just experiencing how my body feels, and how my emotions and feelings turn up, and what this does to my body. And learning to stay in my body, because that is safe a safe place. And now, four years later, I understood why the pain program did not work four years ago. I just was not able to send messages of safety to my brain, because I did not feel safe at all.
And now this has changed, and the brain program works! So for some people, it can be helpful to have some extra work on learning to feel your emotions in your body I guess.
But hey, everybody is different and everybody is path is different. And this is my experience. Thank you for sharing Dan.
Wow, thank you for this clarity!
Hi from the UK Dan 😊 I took the advice and did some deep emotional work and worked with a trauma therapist and had counselling as I was advised unresolved and stuck emotions were the root cause of my symptoms. I know a lot of people who had positive results from this approach. I’ve been doing the work for almost 2 years now and I’m no better. I think it’s helped me have a deeper understanding of myself and others, and helped me to learn how to feel my emotions but the trauma therapy left me with flashbacks, my nervous system on edge all the time and feeling a lot worse. I journal daily and find it’s just the same old emotional stuff coming up from my past. I try and release it with somatic exercises and EFT tapping and reassuring myself etc but don’t seem to get relief. I think It’s the rumination on it all that’s keeping me stuck and in fear. So I’m going to try your approach instead and see if it helps. Thanks so much for the work you do.
It's not only the trauma work that brings regulation, you also need to move your body again and stop avoiding.(flight) And find the activities that bring safety in your system... And stop fighting to get better, surrender and accept... Welcome it all in...dont want it to go away!!! Letting the fight flight go = stop fighting acceptance and surrendering. You're already ok, nothing to be fixed!
Welcome the fear in, do not resist it...welcome it in... It's just a nervous system state... It will lose its power very quickly.
@@moneygettengreat advice, thank you!
Trauma or deep emotional pain is like a broken bone if not mended for a very long time can impact the quality of life. But it doesn’t just end there..if we are brave enough to accept it is there, and address the issue so it can be dealt with, in order for the damage or PAIN to be healed.
Sometimes the body is healed, the mind hasn’t. FEAR factor in the brain causes symptoms and imbalance. Must show the brain there is nothing wrong with the body by literally feeling the sensation it causes, and speak to it- “what are you afraid of?” Different approach, same course of action- to address. Know it’s hard but have to go through the process to pain free.
First of all appreciate you being open to other opinions!
For me processing old emotions/pain was the only way to recover actually (Cfs). And a lot of pple I know recovered by doing that as well. I think both is needed.
Imo when you had a difficult childhood with a lot of neglect, physical abuse and trauma, it’s not enough to only train the brain. I tried, but it didn’t work for me.
I do agree that you don’t have to actively ‘remind’ some traumas and try to process them. That doesn’t work, because most memories are unconscious and you don’t have actual memories to them. Pple like Gabor mate and Bessel van der kolk talk about this. For me, I did a lot of body work so the emotions could come to the surface. And I made the biggest steps when I processed deep pain. But I’m sure it doesn’t work for everybody that way!
I still agree to what you say about perceived danger. But imo especially with a difficult childhood, some deep emotions need to be felt in order to recover.
Can you give some examples of how you processed old emotions and the body work you did? :)
@@nadineeasby2968
Yes, breath work, eft (tapping), just sitting with intense emotions, yoga and forms of stretching, inner child work
Rehashing the past has not worked for me. Many, Many years ago threw out my old journals.
Eckhart Tolle: We Don't have past emotions, we have emotions about our past if we conjure up the memory. If your feeling emotions about your past it is still right now, the present moment.
Happy 4th of July (In the U. S.). 🥰
Totally agree with this!
Previously when I tried journaling, I felt it futile going back over things, I’d already resolved things, and I was wanting to move forwards, and not continuing to delve into the past. I found it unhelpful and uneventful. It was understanding that it was the brain trying to warn me which was causing the pain, and taking the steps to live life again that made all the difference for me. Keeping my nervous system calm, and overcoming fear were important factors.
I think I am somewhat in the middle here. I’ve been repressing emotions since a young child. Along with my therapist, I’m learning to feel my emotions. But I’m not digging them out from the past. I am dealing with the past if and when those emotions come up. If my mind doesn’t bring up the event, it doesn’t need to be dealt with today. But if things do come to mind, I will work through them. I do tend to “get on with life” as a means of distracting myself from any and all emotions. So I do need to check in with myself and how I’m feeling.
I love your work but I don't agree on this topic Everyone is different. .... I did need to do deep emotional work. I did everything else suggested to create safety and it helped to some extent. But only once I started trauma-informed therapy I began to see significant results (almost instantly) and my ability to feel safe grew. I feel many people have misconceptions about modern trauma therapy. It is not about digging, inquiring, talking a lot, intellectually understanding. It is about being able to sit with these intense emotions and feeling safe at the same time. Your current emotions ARE your trauma, not much digging in the past needed. The storyline may help to create compassion with yourself but it is not crucial. Processing with someone who could contain me was and still is essential for the steps of my recovery.
That is perfectly that we disagree. I appreciate your insight on this topic. Especially the current approach to trauma work. Interesting that the goal of modern trauma therapy is similar to my approach in this video. Feel your right now trauma, don't judge it and allow it to pass. Thus, creating safety with those emotions. Am I missing anything? Or is it just doing this with someone else the key element? Thank you for any insight you can share.
100% Before I even heard of Dr. John Sarno I was able to immediately, often like a light switch, completely stop pain when I identified the emotion that I was repressing that was causing it. As a medical intuitive and manual therapist in professional practice now 30 years, I have always been able to "intuit" the emotions connected to people's symptoms, so when I learned there were actual DOCTORS talking about this and research to back it up I was like, dang, I gotta get some training in this! I have taken Internal Family Systems foundations training, Emotional Awareness and Expression Therapy with Dr. Howard Schubiner and Dr. Mark Lumley and have completed a 10 month ontological coaching training with Newfield Network, now coaching folks to heal mind-body created health problems. I am also doing this from a Bible based perspective. What I have found, personally with my own symptoms and clients, is that a combination of here and now working with the nervous system to down regulate from fear responses and tell our brain we are safe along with emotional awareness work and expressing formerly repressed emotions is very powerful. When we take on the REASON the brain is perceiving danger (the emotions getting triggered) we not only end symptoms we grow and evolve as people, which is the biggest point of healing, in my mind. Great stuff everyone! Truly miraculous.
I think you’re a little out of your depth here. It’s attractive to think that your experience is the template for others. But, humility is the key here. I think you have a lot of great things to say….chiefly that working too hard can be counterproductive. But, at the same time, being a teacher is more about listening than telling.
@@PainFreeYou I think that’s a bit simply said, that the only difference with your method is doing it with someone else. I did it all alone, so that’s not it.
I think it’s too simple of an approach to just say to the brain it’s safe. There is so much more around it! A lot of the brain training pple forget to tell about how to be with intense emotions, or how to even reach those emotions. Because they won’t arise by being on the couch all day and wait till they come. Sometimes you’re so stuck by your defense mechanisms, you will not feel any emotions at all and nothing will heal, even if you say a 100 times to your brain it will be safe
Do you mind if I ask what role the therapist plays in this process? I definitely think it's a helpful exercise to be able to sit with your intense emotions, and allow ourselves to feel them... sort of like exposure therapy to the emotions we are afraid of feeling in their full intensity. But not everybody has access to a trauma specific therapist, so is that second person required?
This is gold, thank you, Dan. I got over my TMS a few years ago, but tough circumstances triggered it recently. This is a great reminder. I do think that doing mind body trauma work has helped me in giving tools to actually allow and feel the different emotions, so I do think it has a place. Also, just talking about my trauma seemed to only offer temporary relief. The key was to actually feel safe in my body, my life, and this world.
Glad it was helpful!
The societal structure we live in includes (is based on?) deep fear of death, death is a natural thing, which is inevitable, that is trying to be pretended away via all the striving and acquiring goals highly encouraged by this system but doesn't bring about peace/happiness that is promised - its a carrot for creating lots of suffering in the meantime. The mind and body being at odds is not going to make for a peaceful life. And due to trauma we might be dealing with repetition compulsion and actually be in danger now in our current relationships but not feel fear about that because it feels normal. And the body knows that even if the mind doesn't. Its complicated being human.
It can help to think of the word emotion as thoughts and feelings combined and that combining can be unhelpful. It can benefit people to separate thoughts from feelings. Processing trauma is, imo, learning to witness the thoughts, which are just that, thoughts, habitual not truth but valid and created because of how we cope in unhealthy childhood experiences - and feeling feelings, which are simply sensations, and allowing both, but not as a combined thing. Untangling those two things takes practice, but can show us the thoughts we have which are no longer helping us so we can gently change them, and permit feelings, which are sensations, energy, which we can become aware of separate from thoughts, and allow them, with practice and time, to discharge from the body 🥰
Happy 4th of July Dan🎉🎉🎉 I feel my emotions and tell myself these emotions are safe. I did a lot of journaling throughout this Journey but I didn't find it to moove the needle. Totally can relate to you Dan . I had a lot of childhood trauma's raised by 2 alcoholics with a lot of violence. Went to therapists did emdr etc but the pain remained. I am feeling the emotions when they pop up like this morning got really angry and that is ok. I let these emotions go through me. I am not judging these emotions. Also very aware of my thoughts when a negative thought comes up I try to stay innthe present and not get involveld In the chatter of my mind. I am having a colourful day again but respond calm and live my life the best I can at this moment. Ty Dan sending you and all of you here on CZcams much love and a big smile 😊😊😊😊❤❤❤
Thanks a lot, very interesting !
It reminds me of the discussion on the role of stress. While stress reduction generally leads to short-term improvement, a life without stress is not possible in the long term.
It is therefore important to change the interpretation of the stress you experience. Knowing what you live for can replace the fear of danger, and symptoms might not flare up to a greater extent despite stress.
I was picked to ask a question on Nicole Sachs podcast and my question to her was, “do I have to do trauma therapy to get better?” Her response was, “if you could afford it, if you have access to it, go for it! But, you DON’T have to do it to get better from TMS!” I’m fortunate enough that my insurance covers an amazing trauma therapist that I’ve been seeing for 1 1/2 years weekly and it has been amazing for me mentally, but my pain is still there. I still have a lot of avoidance behaviors that I’m working on. I think that’s keeping me stuck.
one day 5 years ago i got dizzy and have been dizzy ever since. i've had an A-HA moment listening to this one. my symptoms started at a time when I was constantly ruminating on my life not going as i thought it would or as i wanted. the "how did i get here?" story was causing me a lot of anger and fear of the future at the time and still is to this day. thank you!! I listen every day and I can't wait to leave you a comment about my full recovery!
Election day here in the UK🤡🤡🙄. Up during the night, high temperature and severe joint pain. Determined to get out and vote and somehow did.
Close family member hanging onto life & its heartbreaking seeing and feeling so much emotional pain within my family. Yesterday my close friend had a stroke. No wonder my body was in a state . Going to treat myself with kindness and also reminding myself I'm safe.
🙏
@@1STBUCKLEY sending you tons of love and strength sweet friend 🦸♀️💪❤️😘❤️
@@Lenneke8422you're so kind. Thank you 🙏❤
Sending wishes for peace and calm to you.
This ia not controversial, this is important for anyone! The human condition is that people store memories and emotions! To release, you literally remember you are healthy, and when they come up, you watch it and let it and you don't need to do a thing, but allow. That releases it. It's getting back to life and knowing the body will bring them up to release them on its own, and we just have to be comfortable when they do. And keep walking! Thanks Dan! ❤
Some thoughts halfway through the video...
I agree with your belief that it isn't necessary to do the emotional work in order to experience relief. Prior to this year, I had done alot of different techniques addressing emotions, and they usually offered some relief and insight, but the symptoms would come back. So I grew in my understanding of situations and myself, but was still getting stuck in a flare cycle. This year, I have really been working on mindset. I've been watching your videos Dan, and I also took a course on supporting basic human physiology(natural light, gentle movement, nutrient dense food) which really shifted my perspective of what health looks like and how to achieve it. After a decade of pain and symptoms and emotional rollercoaster cycle, things have been settling down. The mindset part, as I'm now addressing it, was absolutely key. It was what I was missing, that core understanding that I don't have to chase symptoms, this is why I feel like crap and all my tests are good. It makes sense. And that relieved ALOT of symptoms just realizing that. I'm actually ok😊
Now, I also just started EMDR, after multiple health practitioners suggested I do so. And it really is having a big impact. I feel like EMDR has a slightly different approach that does actually help me move through the trauma. (I was told I have complex trauma. Not holding on to that, but that's the reason I decided to try it) During a session, I go from feeling like I am in that painful memory, and then it moves to a place of compassion and understanding, and I notice my thoughts shift to past tense. And it has made a big impact on my emotional stability and stress response in about a months time.
Just last week I got Dr Sarno's Healing Back Pain book and started that. In there he does mention that about 5% of people maybe need some psychotherapy....
I definitely believe that having already been doing the mind body work and believing that my symptoms were a result of neural pathways/mind response rather than physical issues has made a complete difference in how I approach things and deal with them. I think going into the EMDR knowing that the mindset and core beliefs and emotions are what's causing things for me has made it more effective. I didn't realize how much negative self talk I had going on inside, and I can see how that would cause me to act and make decisions in ways that aren't helpful. The EMDR has uncovered alot of that for me, and it does feel like I actually move through it in a different way than anything else has done.
I say this not in a defensive or offended way, just sharing my experience so far😊
The fact that I went into it knowing it was mind body I think was the key, and also the specific way this therapy moves you through things...not like talk therapy. Not alot of talking with this actually. And I feel like it's teaching me how to feel those big feelings and let them move through and pass and then they are gone. Instead of stuck.
Thanks for all you do Dan. Your videos have made such an impact on me and helped me recover so much❤
I suspect even when we process emotions that those emotions can pop up painfully still, but we just continue to calmly accept the emotion and that practice over time is how we deal with painful emotions.
I am so grateful I came across your channel because I was struggling with muscular shoulder/arm pain. Physiotherapy, heat, ice, medication, rest massage all weren't getting rid of the pain. Dry needling really helped me as well, but even that wasn't enough. When I started calming my fears and responding gently then I started doing better. I still do all of those things as part of my recovery and now the physio is more effective than it was before I was able to perceive danger pain. Even now when I feel pain in my shoulder and arm, my attention goes there and I realize I am unconsciously tensing my muscles. Then I can calmly respond to the fear and relax those muscles.
This is an interesting and thought provoking topic! For myself, I think - and I've got to a fairly significant age, and perhaps that makes a difference - not facing the past, the 'adverse childhood events', the griefs, sorrows, rejections, fears or whatever that have helped to shape us as the people we are, isn't helpful. I'm often struck by the way my brain will reproduce in perfect detail images of past scenes, people, landscapes walked, from childhood or earlier life. So the fact is that nothing has 'gone'. If the brain can retain images, I'm sure it can also retain the emotions and anxieties and fears from the past as well. I agree with Dan, for what my small opinion is worth, that constantly rehashing stuff is negative and pointless. What's done is done, and what's gone is long gone. Nothing can be redone long after the event. But recognition and acceptance is good, forgiveness, letting go, acknowledging that we and others did what we could at the time. There is only now for us now. We can start with that.
♥♥♥♥
Beautifully expressed
i totally agree, Dan🙂 i went down the trauma-illness connection rabbit hole and it ate up almost two years of my life. i learned a lot from various therapists and books and youtube videos, but i 100% agree “to what end end?”. at my end i realized how consuming my trauma narrative had become and i was so self-centered. and my symptoms were worse! i’m re-learning how to not make everything about me, my emotions and my illness.
using your ideas along with frequent solo dance parties in my house, some yoga nidra and feldenkrais when i feel like it have been bringing me more peace and stability than the thousands i spent with therapists
This is really helpful to hear. I've made a ton of progress over the past two years with pain, but had some big setbacks here recently that threw me for quite a loop. I've always wondered do I have to be like an open wound all the time to get to the bottom of this TMS stuff. I'm glad to hear that going deeper and deeper into my past isn't always the answer.
If you have CFS, it seems important to release emotions. I have CFS and I sit with myself every evening and on most evenings I cry, sometimes just a little, sometimes I’m showered in tears 😅 And that made my symptoms go away at least for a bit of time :)
You don’t need to go back in time. I just sit and feel deeply into my body and I let every emotion or thoughts be there. Thoughts from the past pop up automatically, at least for me.
Happy independence day
Hi Dan, thank you for all the great daily videos.
On topic of this video:
I wonder, can you do one on the nervous system, tms/pdp and dreams pls? I have a debilitating symptom which is that my nervous system for whatever reason gets so ‘colourful’ and expresses all repressed things as well as current conscious and subconscious fears… in my sleep as dreams!
I have no control over this and it leaves me jaded on waking, unable to pull myself together and with very high symptoms/neuro and pain, as am ramped up before even awake 😑
I’m sure it’s also tms, but how do I approach shifting this? If it’s repressed deep emotional things coming out in sleep.. do I need to do emotional work?
It has happened since the start of this journey, 2 years, and is a massive stumbling block as upon waking it takes hours to rationalise with it and sets the day up for pain and confusion..
Kindest
🕊️
I can relate to this so much. Dream after dream is so intense trying to work out all the danger and trauma and fear…
@@Gabriellekiddhave you found any way to find safety - morning routine or calming activities.
Sending best 💜
Happy fourth of July Dan! Looking back on old wounds hasn't worked for me. I tried the journals etc but I find living in the moment and keeping a positive vibe works for me. After all I'm only Human! Great new song Human by Lenny Kravitz. 😊❤🐾
😊 well said Dan it's much more liberating to tell yourself you are safe I'm not in danger then trying to drive yourself crazy analyzing over every emotional event I'm trying to process it your way makes much more sense
It hasn’t helped me at all…it made me more fearful because my brain was so hypersensitive and made me worse. My past is nothing to fear…I was safe then and I’m safe now so I’m working to calm the fear which is the main cause anyway. 2020 was the year it all started and there is no question why. I’m so thankful to know living in the present moment and moving head is the way to heal this.
Dan i completely agree with you , for me going back and trying to remember the trauma re traumatized me and made me 100 times worse !!!! When it was actually just a current situation that was making me have symptoms . Nothing from the past !
My pain keeps getting worse. I scored 48 out of 50 on the pain test. I’m living my life, exercising , etc…. However the increase in pain does scare me and it’s hard for me to let go of that fear.
I've had similar. I think I got scared when I realised recovery was completely down to me. I wasn't sure I had it in me to do the work. However when I realised that my body had no damage and my brain was interpreting normal sensations as dangerous it seemed to click into place. Keep at it, you will get there.
@@joannerowell4410 Thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement !!! So appreciated 😊
I totally agree with you Dan , I don’t see a reason to rehash issues you might have dealt with years ago over and over. Everyone has been angry at one time or another but for example I had a great childhood, no bad repressed memories so in my case that is definitely not what is causing my pain.
This was one of my first questions when I started doing mind-body work...whether I had to go back to unexpressed emotions and unpack them before experiencing any forward momentum. I decided that I would focus on not repressing new emotions - doing somatic tracking, focusing on what I'm feeling when a sign shows up, journaling daily - and at the very least stop adding stress on my nervous system NOW. And while I'm still very much on the path, I'm finding that over time, I am repressing less and expressing more. Also I cry a lot more when I see sad movies now, which I never did before, but maybe that's some of those old feelings letting themselves loose. Thanks for a great video!
Hi Dan thanks so much for your hard work helping others and myself. X
4th July, my beautiful granddaughter Marla Joy is one year old today.❤🎉
Back in February I was exposed to a loud noise. I am now suffering from ear pain , tinnitus and sound sensitivity. I have had multiple tests and I have no hearing loss. Doctors say they can’t find anything wrong with my ears..Also I get startled easily by sounds that I don’t expect. Do you think this is TMS? I’m trying my best to stay positive on my healing journey. 🙏🏼
I 💯 agree with you Dan digging up every past and current deep emotion is not the cure itself ❤ thank God!
You helped me get rid of my back pain. Thank you.
Wonderful. If you would like to share a success story, feel free to get on my schedule: TalkWithDan.com
Dan, I had a very unstable and abusive childhood. I’ve been in therapy and have been doing self help therapy for years. I’m in a decent place in my life right now mentally. The other night I was lying in bed thinking how good things are going right now and then all of a sudden I started feeling panicky. I think that was because chaos and fear has always been a part of my life so when things are going good, my mind doesn’t know how to handle that and causes my anxiety to increase. As a kid, I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop (sometimes literally 🤦🏻♀️) and now as an adult I’m “programmed” for that. What’s your thoughts on this?
I did EMDR for ptsd following an assault. Therapist would only deal with the two most serious things. Said trying to deal with everything will compound fear. One was the assault, the other from when I was 5yrs old and lost my sibling and was in an oxygen tent bed. Definitely helped me move the memories to a better place.
I feel like I’m getting tripped up somewhere. I feel like for the most part I’ve been always able to name my emotion and what I’m feeling and most of the time feel it deeply. Ive always been the cryer… I’ve never had trouble expect with anger and standing up for myself when I feel threatened.. but I also know there’s been an insane amount of fear in me my entire life…. Maybe there are things I’m avoiding? Like pain and suffering because of the fear and that’s the problem. I can’t accept. Just feel stuck in making any kind of progress
Great video! 💜
Glad you liked it!!
The book “Power of Now” should help.
I was so messed up with a narcissist husband..I had to learn how to return to my True Self! 😊❤
Dan I'm confused 🤔
I've had fibromyalgia CFS for approx 9 years, I recently have had pain and spotting down below which has been diagnosed as fibroids. The gynecologist said fibroids wouldn't cause the pain, I've done the assessment and TMS is positive. At the moment swinging from anxiety or pain... Having a bad day 😢
Obviously don't know size of fibroids but my understanding is that they can cause pain, even when small. Am sure dealing with it as PDP will help tremendously. Just a reduction in your anxiety will lower your cortisol levels which by itself can cause inflammation. Win win imo
@@1STBUCKLEY yes definitely, anxiety leads to elevated cortisol levels which leads to high estrogen levels, insulin which feed fibroids....
Sending you much love and my special healing angel 🧚♀️❤
@@Lenneke8422 Thankyou so much 🙏
My daughter had fibroids, they were painful. She had to have them removed. Sending hugs.♥♥
Dan, I lost my mom, with whom I was super close, 3 years ago and have been dealing with undiagnosed low back/hip pain for 2.5 of these years. It’s pretty safe to assume that grief, being alone etc (no siblings and no family of my own) was the cause of the TMS coming on. Just this week I attempted I did my first grief work session with my therapist (we’ve been working together for 12 months and I believed I was ready)… after the session my symptoms got worse and a new one appeared. Now I feel so afraid and understandably do not want to continue with the grief work…. So I don’t need to dig up my subconscious feelings about my mom dying etc in order to recover?
Abusers dont change when they work on their emotions. They become calm, cinfident abusers. Which is worse! Similarly, someone who harms themselves is seperate from needing to work on their emotions. Its the abusive behavior we need to work on! The thinking patterns. Not the feelings.
What about the "Feel your emotions" Thing.. is it still important
Is there a specific way to let go of emotional things?
So its really a lot about reframing and letting go?
Well, not necessarily reframing, because things that are in the past can't be changed. But we can reframe our present attitudes, which is what Dan speaks about every day. But so far as the past goes, for all of us with difficult things there, yes, we have to let it go. What's the point of either pretending it wasn't like it was, or going over and over it all the time. Every cell in the body changes within a very short time, so we are literally not the person we used to be. We haven't always been our best self, and others we grew up with or married or came in contact with may not have been either. But we can start over.
Be grateful for what we do have, let go of old angers and resentments with grace. And begin again. Never too late!