Dharma Lecture 1: How Responsibility and Purpose Help With Suffering
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- čas přidán 13. 01. 2020
- Welcome to our series on "Dharma" or duty or responsibility.
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#MentalHealth #Motivation #Dharma
First thing my father told me when we were climbing a mountain together - "Don't look at the summit, watch your step"
This is great, thank you
"It's the Cliiiiiiiiiiiimmmbb"
-Miley Cyrus
Now I’m thinking about my daddy w tears in my eyes, thanks! We gotta remember them old folks sometimes 🤣 they did know a whole lot
yeahh, yeah!
"Gamers would rather waste their time on nothing than waste their time on something that may not work."
Typing this here mainly for my benefit, and to help me digest it.
From the time we are born, we are conditioned that "success & joy" is derived from entertainment. However, entertainment, like all false "happiness" are very VERY addictive. It is so ingrained in us that we don't even recognize it as not being healthy, but rather a determent from honest introspection. That's just my personal opinion, and I am trying to find my dharma path to rid myself of false "rewards" that are empty and hollow. I know I can find contentment without the distraction of false "reward". Its not just gamers. Think about TV series and we will revolve our week around ensuring we are fully available for that episode only. We get frustrated or angry if we can't see the "next episode". But its empty, and we are no wiser or better for it. At this part of my path, the only thing I seek is contentment, b/c contentment eliminates desires that only disappoint us. Contentment eliminates fear in our "REAL" lives and we no longer need to fulfill desires and addictions to "entertainment".
@@melanieanne2066 hey duuude! just curious if you’ve got an update to share on your journey? Obviously there’s no obligation- I’m just curious haha c:
@@Vivivofi I am a continual work in progress LOL. I studied sociology & cultural anthropology for yrs. Its kind of from that perspective, too.
46:50
@@melanieanne2066 I highly recommend setting up a sadhana. This, in my opinion is the best way for most people become in touch with the part of them which is peaceful joyful eternally, not temporarily.
Love avoiding Dharma by listening to your videos, thanks man ;-;
sunky02 sit down for 5 minutes today and think about that. That’s how you start moving forward.
But is it *really* avoiding Dharma? What if by being successful after watching these videos is your Dharma (to self)? It's literally your choice, and Dr. Kanoija explains perfectly why you will say that the videos won't change your life.
@@MultiGoban it's just a prank bruh
nice pfp
@@polares01 who are you pranking bruh?
i love the detour of dr. k explaining stories from the bhagvad gita in the form of twitch language
my dad has been smoking for 20 years, since his twenties (basically started years before i was even born). one time when he found out i have been smoking, he was really disappointed, and a few days later my sister told me he quit. it's been two years since she told me this, and he still hadn't started again. later i found out that he undestood that he had been setting a bad example, and quit because he never wanted me to harm my health.
Oh my god.... Naruto's "Ninja Way" is his Dharma!
That's how he was able to withstand all the loss and get through it.
Rock Lee's Dharma too. I remember that one episode where his body unconsciously standing up to fight Gara even though he was too hurt to continue fighting 🥲
I mean, naruto does take a lot of inspiration from Hinduism and Buddhism
What is your Dharma or responsibility? Lilypichu tomorrow on our stream, schedule on twitch
You should talk with Wingsofredemption on stream
Is it normal to be embarrassed to say?
@@megamonstercookies On internet, no.
@HealthyGamerGG About 10:34, it really resonated with me, at the point of the video you dont understand, but for me, it's the fear of rejection, and it extends beyond, both in employment, and possibly relationships.
In the current economic environment, suppose you can submit for 1000 jobs and return with 3 interview opportunities, that in itself is distressing, it's a list of disapproval, and that's where doing nothing is an escapism to working your cv. I just want to say furthermore, depending on where you are, there will be glass ceilings, limited by say board members from the previous generations if they refuse to retire, it could be a demographic issue. It might be a form of escapism, but perhaps within this escapism lies a community where according to Maslow's you're at least hitting the Esteem needs, or perhaps even I'm a believer of Japanese Ikegai, that you're hitting that?
You're doing god's work Dr. K, I really appreciate your work. Regardless of if we like it, for me the 4 noble truths hold true. More people need to not just know how to train the physical, but to train the mind and consciousness. It works hand in hand.
This has helped me realise what I think might be my Dharma, which is what my mum has been telling me all my life - helping people is where I find purpose. Sounds really broad, but I'm just at the beginning of this realisation. Been applying to digital marketing jobs after a year of unemployment, but I still feel lost and unmotivated - it's about time I applied to charities and NGOs and whatnot. Thank you Dr. K, I think I'll stick around here for a while :)
Good luck! I could never do a marketing job. I take night shifts at a homeless shelter for laughable money instead. Let me know how things are going for you these days :)
How did it go :)
I think I have the same Dharma, helping people. Studying law is my path (doing mine to try and show there are good lawyers out there)
How's it going for you?
How is it going? It's ok if you are still in the same place. There is still time ;)
Dude from passively listening as a background music to actively taking down notes and make it a structured so I can really do it... Thank you Dr K.
39:00 when he talked about how to find your dharma
42:20
How to find your dharma 51:10
Thank you
Wow it really all clicked when he made the "side quest vs main quest" analogy
You may never actually know how much you help me, sadly. Thanks so much, I really appreciate this
Only guessing, but it feels like he's aware of how much the world is hurting, and has lead many
through darkness. His dharma gives him the ability to aoe heal with such potency. Thanks for this healing Dr. K
49:20
"and you're gonna be thirsty"
From my admittedly shaky recollection, I'm pretty sure thirst was not even close to the worst thing that happened to Frodo
Just inject this shit into my veins. Please do more, I need more of this.
What I understood from this is - If I don't know what to do or Why should I do it.
Finding my Dharma is my Dharma till then. And for that I gotta endure pain of overcoming social anxiety.
Wait that's what I am doing that's why I am watching this Video.
POG
That's a fantastic way to describe it for those of us who haven't found our Dharma yet ❤❤
12:25
"Let's say someone points a gun at my kid"
Chat: "HYPE HYPE HYPE TRAIN!!!!"
"ILoveChupacabra: FOCUS CHAT"
Lol'd at that. Like that one kid in class that's trying to make people listen to the teacher when everyone's going crazy over something.
"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
"
Thanks for this video. I appreciate that you still reach out to your CZcams community. I listen to your videos at work, and they have been very helpful and transformative. I patiently await the second part!
the differantiantion between desire and value really opened my eyes. I feel like i found my dharma. Thank you
44:00 This really means a lot to me. Thank you so much for your guidance. I’ve been struggling since quitting games two years ago because even though I have a lot more time now, still do nothing with myself. Clearly I don’t have many values and I’ve noticed that. I always said ‘nothing feels like its worth doing.’ Now I know that’s because Desires aren’t worth the pain. But I value my friends and would go above and beyond for them.
Jinkeys , I think I’m onto something.
My Dharma is taking care of myself and my family. Thank you for helping me find that.
I didn't realize mine was until I read your comment
This revealed to me why I came back from my first combat deployment with Depression and Anxiety and the inability to further pursue goals in my life that had previously been quite easy. I no longer had my Dharma.
This was the first 1 hour video I've watched from start to finish and the only reason I almost had to stop was at the "roflcopter" part 😂 you are now a certified BOOMER, Dr. K ☺️
Roflcopter is a real boomer meme, I remember people saying that when I was in like 4th grade lmao
My roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi soi
Your videos help me so much and really make me think. I don't play video games or stream and I just stumbled upon your channel but i can relate so much to my own addictions. Thank you Dr. K
this has been so eye opening, I was really close to crying. thank you dr. k
I'm a Med Student from Argentina, thanks for sharing all your knowledge with us, it's really helpful to understand how life works and the difference between values and desires, wich its the most important for finding our dharma
Dharma being to take care of yourself is I think a great start
I absolutely love the gamer adaptation of the dialogues lmao
1:00 Cognitive biases: Find your maladaptive behaviors: The things that you do that are bad for you but that you learnt because they used to work. When you have an impulse to do or say something and you restrain it, what do you feel? That will tell you a lot about your natural inclinations.
4:00 The process of growing as a person and progressing in life is hard and uncomfortable, even if they're good things. However, our mind will rationalize why we're not making the changes that'll take us there (I'm this or that / there are circumstances that prevent me from growing).
7:00 If you focus on growth, you're focusing on the sexy end result and not on the hard, realistic process to get there. This leads to a loss of will to move forward.
9:00 Our goal is to find the way to choose the suffering and accept it without another reason. By choosing the hard road. Because what holds us back is not wanting to put up with the crappiness of life.
11:00 Dharma is the ability to choose, tolerate and welcome the good and the bad (pain, adversity).
14:00 20 long minutes of bhagvad nonsense.
33:00 What it takes to get an addict to stop smoking.
35:00 What you need is a Competing Interest (or Dharma), which is something that you deeply care about, in order to withstand the hard road.
37:00 You NEED to pick a path of pain.
38:00 How to find your Dharma: Don't choose from your desires (even if they're good), choose from values.
40:00 Desires come from outside, values come from the inside.
44:00 Notice that all your current goals are desire-driven. Desires motivate behavior, but in a limited way, because desires are not worth the suffering. In order to move forward consistently and without the need for motivation, you need a Dharma. A Dharma is duty that's bigger than you, so you just can't afford to fail. (Think about how far you're willing to go for a friend, but not for yourself.) Dharma changes your tolerance for pain, it allows you to choose the uncomfortable.
51:00 To find your Dharma, first knock out anything rooted in outside stuff (desires). Make a list of things that you want, and things that you care about. Find your competing interest: that which makes you endure pain for.
53:00 How to develop a competing interest if you don't have one: This comes from experience, study and reflection. Go outside and do something, anything.
54:30 If you have no other Dharma, your Dharma now is taking care of yourself. Treat yourself as third person who deserves to be taken good care of.
56:00 Not having all the answers yet is okay.
57:00 Dharma is something that is sought: As you live life, look for your Dharma.
The bhagvad part does put things into context much like fables do to explain difficult concepts in an easier manner.
I'm rolling at the fact you said Bhagavad nonsense 😂
I needed this. Thank you Dr. K.
Absolutely, I can even remember lying in bed one morning when i was 14/15 thinking that I don't really care about anything besides my family
Same man holy shit
Could you upload more guided meditations like the one he did that stream? They help me so much and I really appreciate what you're doing
yessss!!! more guided meditations!!!
9:10 holly shit, I cried while listening to this, it's so true! I think I finally got it this time, thank you!
the quest analogy made way more sense then it should. keep it up dr K
DR KKKKKKK THIS STORYTELLING IS ABSOLUTELY MINDBLOWINGLY HILARIOUS
Looking forward to part 2, interesting subject
I have often heard Dharma referred to as “Truth” finding your “Truth” is so different for each person….but “Truth” is not based in a fantasy world in your head it’s based in the physical world….it’s where the ideas in your head and the physical world collide…..important to do physical activity to ground you in the physical realm eventually you can combine this with the ideas you have where they meet is “Truth” Physical activity of any type builds the “muscle” to help you navigate in the physical world…that’s been my experience. Also, This guy gives the most relatable psychiatric advise on the internet!🙏
This is one of the best lessons imo
This is great to have series! Makes it alot easier to learn, as well with the book that youre working on. I have one thought tho, when should i meditate? And what is your take on feeling overwhelmingly tired? Accurse during the day and the only solution feels like taking a nap
Dr. K is the best thing that ever happened on the internet, thank you Dr K ❤
This is really great. I hadn’t considered this perspective. Thanks Samwise :)
Thank you for the distinction.
Dr. K: "But what if someone points a gun at my kid?"
Chat: HYPEEEEE POGCHAMP
The analogy with the gun really struck me. Thinking of my own future like an innocent child, you step in front of that fucking gun, without thinking.
Thank you so much🙏🙏🙏
Being a weight lifter and a cyclist has been MASSIVELY impactful on my ability to contextualize the effort and longevity inherent in achieving meaningful reward. I understand, inherently, that the process is not only necessary, but not a bad thing in and of itself. It ISN’T a bad thing to grind through effort and repetition to slowly, gradually, and non-linearly approach a goal or target.
It's the second time I listen to Dr. K talk about the smoker patient and as a nurse it's beautiful to see how a patient could impact his life. I'm not used to that with doctors.
Holy shit. Very few times I've been so engrossed in an explanation. Amazing lecture.
This made me very excited to find my Dharma, not sure how I'll find it, but I will!
Did you find it?
@@girish9242 nah still lost in the corporate world
Love this guy
I believe all Dharma has to do with helping the human spirit in some way.
And that starts with our spirit. 💖
Thanks Dr K. A lot of inspirations ;) I'm actually preparing a workshop for youth about life goals/vocation/desires which can lead us to our values...
Thank you ❤
I finally understood the bagavad gita, man, i cant believe it.
I needed this context to understand what Bhagavad Ghita was about ans why I couldn't finish reading it.
Dharma means 'Your Way' driven by personal (Motto/Purpose/Interest/Belief/Dream/Values) then it can be distilled into Personal Duty or Responsibility.
(everything within the parenthesis above) are defined by nature of society you are born in, the era you are born in, your job, your passion, your birth, status, gender etc.
Naruto anime states it in underlying theme behind Naruto about his 'Nindo' or 'Ninja way'.
Dharma is given, we're born with it and it's the attempt to satisfy our universal human needs, roughly:
1. Identity/Self-concept
2. Health/Security/Trust
3. Responsibility/Freedom
4. Comprehension/Understanding
5. Self-Esteem/Love
6. Productivity/Creativity
7. Rest/Entertainment/Spare time
8. Connection/Participation
I wrote 'roughly' cause each has many separations or branches.
They are meant to be satisfied in no particular order, it's more like juggling balls than like leveling up or climbing a pyramid.
This should be mandatory learning.
I think programming is important despite the difficulty
I think it's important to get a diploma in electrical engineering, even though you have to struggle a lot
I consider my relationship important, despite the fact that we often quarrel
I consider the ability to self-support / self-sustain important, despite the fact that it requires hard-earned money
I consider knowledge important, even though learning is a difficult process
I just hit the like before the video even begins now lol
Thank you, Sam🙏
Thanks! 🙏
I think an alternative for me in the gun example at 12:00 ish, is that I'll always attack the guy with the gun even if he or she is bluffing or not going to shoot me, but my instinct is to fight back and that gets me more hurt than letting go and let the person feel good for having the gun. The gun is an analogy to a person with a position of power or gatekeeper.
It's like Dr. K is our own Krishna
🙏👏
This needs more views.....
I'm really stressed right now. I don't want to let go of my physical desires because I've tried to do that in the past and it made me feel really depressed- it put me in a dark place.
I definetly bestowed my divine radiance onto a few people in my day
bruh 15:45 I love chat
Bestowed his divine radiance all over her face LOL
That's the funniest retelling of the Mahabharata ever
I try not to look at chat but saw the moment he was talking about jumping in front of the gun to protect his kid and someone in the chat is like "JUMP IN FRONT AND THEN YOUR KID BECOMES BATMAN". Legit made me chuckle lol. Dr. K makes me feel big brain and the chat does the opposite.
No dr k, we can’t all agree eating hot dogs aren’t a value
I enjoyed this and got some good insights from it. However, I can't help but feel rather discouraged by the last few minutes of the lecture in essence saying: "yo just go out and do stuff." The entire crux of the problem for those of us who suffer from lack of Dharma is that we have no will to go out and do stuff. Dr. K. even addresses this early in the lecture when he describes gamers preferring to waste a year gaming versus waste time making a resume that may or may not work.
So... what would inspire a Dharma-less gamer to go out and do stuff that might not result in Dharma versus continuing to game?
I realize the ending was rushed due to time. I hope there is more in the future that addresses this.
The will u need for doing stuff will come after finding your Dharma, which will overcome the pain and laziness for doing stuff. Just think 5 mins about what your Dharma could be and then you could think of doing more stuff out of your confort zone.
@@renatofuenteslespinasse7341 Bruh, but what about people who can't find their Dharma?
I lowkey fell for this channel
Lowkey? It's amazing!
We all did lol
Sage: Thou shalt see my *DIVINE RADIANCE*
When you have a great why you can overcome any how🙏💓💪
The secret to happiness is freedom & the secret to freedom is courage!
-Thucydides
Responsibility: what you should do.
Example: you eat unhealthy so you put on weight. So you want to lose weight. So now what are you supposed to do? Diet, exercise..? Whatever that maybe, that is your responsibility
Now you have a choice to act in line or against your responsibility.
Act against: you will fill your belly, enjoy your food and comfort but then you will pay the price of that comfort. Life is like you r in a hotel and every luxury u enjoy has a price. Like in this case, avoiding responsibility leads to losing the meaning that life has for you and now you dont have a buffer to suffering so you experience another type of suffering which is a meaningless suffering which by experience is worse than the meaningful one. Like this is the type of suffering that makes you say, “i wish i was dead rn, or when is this going to be over”. So a case could be made that if u avoid responsibility you doom yourself to meaningless suffering.
Act according to it: you will have meaningful suffering.
The choice is between a meaningless and meaningful suffering. Thats all we get. Choose comfort you are choosing meaningless suffering. So next time you you are about to decide to take responsibility or not ask yourself, “is the comfort I am taking worth the meaningless suffering I am to incur or is the discomfort I am taking on worth the meaningful suffering I am to get”
I'm only halfway through the VOD, but this was such a distracted stream lol
Holy shit this is gold
You can absolutely fail to hold up to your dharma after you discover it. It is particularly painful, though.
Watch this channel get 10x more subs within the yr
Thanks for that video! Did you ever make a part 2 ? I can't find it in your videos :(
I think is this one: Teaching our Discord Users Dharma
Because he told it was better to do it on Discord and this is the closest one in time on the same topic.
Nice video. Thanks!
Doesn’t it look good outside?
Desires aren't worth the suffering. Find a value to suffer for. Make it a sidequest. You need the main quest. To win the game, you get armor. The main quest is your Dharma. Make a list of things that you want and things that you care about. What are the things you would do and endure pain for? You need a competing interest. Treat yourself like your friend. Understand that you're a human being who deserves to be helped out and you should give yourself a helping hand.
Thank you. Going to write that down
The only thing I want in life is to not suffer.
@@robo-roger7815 I don't want to be that guy who want to correct someone on the internet but I think you missed the point here, The whole point of this video is that life is suffering itself and you can't escape from them no matter what we do, that being said this video help us understands that through Dharma, despite all the pain and the suffering, we can still have a meaningful life and a worth-living life, that's one of the reasons why Dharma is a powerful force even with all the pain that we go through, because we do the thing that really valuable/meaningful and that's our responsibility/duty to do it.
That being said, hope you're doing well bud
44:00 OMEGALUL literally me
i only see one road in life. not crappy or good
Feelin some Jordan Peterson vibes in this message
1. Is there a pain point in society that you can help with?
2. Is it a strong need overall?
3. How can you contribute to this?
The best way to illustrate the difference between a desire and value: Wanting a hotdog when you're hungry is a desire, your values on the other hand help you decide if you want the cheap hotdog for the sake of your personal economy, or buy the vegan choice to morally abstain from dead animals - it's a priority list/inner compass.
So the motivation to change despite suffering is archieved by following duty and responsability, but finding dharma requires experience and reflection. If someone doesn't care about anything, even himself, how could he find dharma, why should he suffer to find it?
U just answer your own question, you are blind to yourself, yourself with capital letters
@@cris4529 care to explain more?
Are there more of this videos on youtube?? This says 1, so I assume there is more? yes?
yup its the general problem of most people living this generation these days, they forgotten how to value things and have been blinded by society to seek for desire instead, and guess what that exactly is how the most powerful people in the world control us however they want (secret society be knocking on my door later)
I know if you look more in depth into it it'll be a really complicated matter but for now atleast if you want to make progress just be reminded you have to think outside of the box, dont be like those 'controlled' people i mentioned, try to get something you can value for and not something you only desire (instant gratification)
and yes just like what dr.k mentioned you find the answers yourself cuz ill repeat: you dont want to be one of those controlled people right.
Where is lecture 2 or how did this contiunue? I still have the question on how to find and life your Dharma.
nice
Dr. I have a question I don't know if you'll see this… A I have a familiarity with Buddhism. I have concluded, and please correct me if I'm wrong or perhaps you're just coming from a different direction… Or maybe it's just semantics LOL, but I see a difference between suffering, and misery. I believe, that in life suffering is part of the human experience. Another term for it, would be discomfort. Discomfort is unavoidable in life, though contemporary human beings do their damnedest to avoid any sort of discomfort at all costs… Personally I think that's part of the reason our country the US is currently in the state it's in. And addiction to comfort. And the inability to deal with the discomfort and desire to immediately soothe that discomfort without curiosity… But I digress LOL.
Misery on the other hand, It's about perception. Misery, in a sense is a choice, whereas suffering is unavoidable. But it is possible that one's suffering can turn into misery if one does not remain present to the discomfort, that is part and parcel of being a living organism on this rock. Am I off-base here? Or are we coming from two different angles and saying the same thing? Thank you for taking the time to read my question… If you do indeed.
:)
“I am your Samwise” 😊
9 month coma from drinking. Lucky to get out of it. Then.. 3 week Icu, smoking. I take the car off the cliff😢plus oral cancer. I don't drink any more but had 15 years sober and went back out. Quit smoking for two months then was going to have ONE. Don't do that. Now trying to quit again
Dr. K: Like a lot of people are from Scandinavia
Me: No, ai æm nåt fråm Scandinavia
Very lost on this one lol. The way I ended the video feeling Dharma was, is something that you want to achieve, like an end goal that you have at this time for yourself or in the world. The 'side quests' are what you need to take care of before you can go after your Dharma.
Would an example of Dharma be if a student had student debt and his/her goal was to have it cleared that is his/her current Dharma, and to fulfill it he/she needs to do whatever it takes regardless of the struggles with little to no spending money?
K K that is very self driven about self problems. Dharma is much more outside of yourself than that. That’s just a “goal” of yours, to clear your student debt. Goal is something you want to achieve and would feel good if you did so, dharma is more of a purpose in life. His dharma is helping people with mental health , you can say that his dharma might never be done, he won’t be like “oh well I helped a lot of people, I’m done now” like you would after your student loans are paid off “my debts are paid I’m free and done!”. A dharma isn’t something where you accomplish it and now you don’t have to worry about it, dharma doesn’t have an end finish line like a goal. I guess that’s the biggest difference.
@@Guardsgotgame11 Now I understand this, thank you!