revenge of the ugly ducklings - growing up 'ugly'
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- čas přidán 7. 12. 2022
- Bella Hadid, Kylie Jenner, Khloe Kardashian are all examples of BEAUTIFUL women who were generally regarded to be 'ugly ducklings' growing up. Each of these girls were bought up in families where good looks were paramount, and so growing up feeling like the 'ugly' sister as both Bella and Khloe have attested to, can have serious long term impacts on your self confidence, and self worth. This would explain why all three of these women have altered their looks significantly, which tbh is quite sad - as they were all naturally gorgeous to begin with. They didn't need to change anything. However I can see how societies unrealistic beauty standards, and growing up in the environments that they did could impact how they saw themselves. On the positive side, all three of these girls have turned their insecurities around, and make absolute successes out of themselves! In most occasions, even surpassing their 'good looking' siblings. As someone who grew up feeling like the ugly duckling I am so interested in this topic, and I love that these ladies used turned their insecurities into positives and made them work for them instead of against them!
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They weren't ugly. They just were normal, healthy, cute girls.
Kylie was actually adorable and I feel like she had personality back then and fit right in with the quirky 2010 kids.
Cute but not industry-beautiful 👀
Yeeees Kylie was super cute
i’d love to see what she would have looked like now with no surgery/tweakments, she’d be stunning no doubt
Agree...too much brown to look at.
@@suem223 what 💀
Like you said, growing up "ugly" is a life long process tbh. Growing up as the ugly duckling, I've always related to Kylie and Khloe. It was heartbreaking to realize at a young age that boys didn't like me because I was "ugly". Even though I had my glow up years ago and nowadays I get compliments on my appearance all the time, I still find it hard to believe that I could be considered attractive. I can't even imagine how these girls have felt growing up in the public eye.
You are so beautiful
You’re very beautiful! I can relate also, feeling awful that boys didn’t like me because I was “ugly”. I understand now that how you look is irrelevant concerning people’s cruelty and indifference towards you. They don’t love you because they have no love to give. They lack the capacity to appreciate you and treat you how you deserve to be treated.
yes. same here.
They were neverrr ugly
It's funny how most of the replies to your post are missing the point. When you grow up feeling 'ugly', it's very hard and sometimes downright impossible to believe you are beautiful. It doesn't matter how many times you hear it, they just seem like words. The one or two negative comments are somehow more believable.
Bella did not overcome her insecurities, she changed her whole face and has to put up constant statements like 'i have never had any plastic surgery' or 'i've had one nose job that's it' to keep denying what is obvious to the eye because she can't admit it to herself. I think it's sad and I have empathy for her, I don't think that's what overcoming your insecurities looks like though.
It’s utter bullshit to be selling us beauty standards and be honest about plastic surgery
I think Bella also changed her looks to fit into the fashion world, like high cheekbones as she did get a buccal fat removal and much more!
I dont believe she had buccal fat removal i truly believe she starved herself to the point where her face lost all of her natural fat and now she looks hollow. Its really sad if you look at her body closely recently shes so incredibly small whereas she used to have slight curves and a fuller face. I hope she starts eating healthy again soon because she looks anorexic
She also lost a lot of weight
I lost weight around the same age as Bella did, so mid twenties, and combined with the "second puberty" of that age category my cheeks also fell inward. Palestinian women can also have high chiseled cheekbones naturally. I think there's a good possibility Bella mever had buccal fat removal considering how thin she is. On someone like Lea Michele who changed faces in a different age category and doesn't seem to be super thin overall, it's a much more obvious case of buccal fat removal.
as someone who grew up ‘ugly’ (according to society) and then got significantly better looking in my 20s, i can tell you the desire to be prettier never goes away until you do some serious inner work. that’s why these women overfill their faces. they can’t tell when to stop, because it’s never enough. the pursuit of beauty will NOT save you. liberation and happiness lies in *not caring* whether you are attractive or not. women, are worth so much more than our bodies. ❤
I think it does save us...
What do u mean by inner work?
Been good looking makes us high vibrational....
We feel good inside out just like a pretty house...
A messy house can affect our insides
When i look prettier, makeup etc
I feel better inside...
Such an insightful comment and i fully agree with you 😊
I feel like I never really needed the whole inner work thing. I grew up ugly and people treated me like shit and now I'm pretty good looking and people treat me really nice. Honestly, it mostly makes me resentful when people are nice to me and I can tell it's because of my looks, it just reminds me of how badly I was treated. I'm the same person inside and I just mostly spend time with people who liked me back then too. I think the whole inner work narrative is fine but gaslights people who are actually ugly that their problems can be solved just by thinking differently.
@@mushy470 first of all please don’t misuse the term gaslighting like that, as someone who has actually been through mental abuse it’s quite offensive lol. second of all do you realise how many ‘ugly’ people have happy lives full of love, success and friendship? because they don’t base everything around their looks. they don’t care if people think they’re ugly, because they know they are worth more than that. looks don’t last, you will never find true happiness by just being conventionally attractive. sure people on the street might treat you a bit better but it will never lead you to true love, true friendship or true inner peace. you’re just projecting.
@@doom3798 Totally agree ❤
There’s a difference between *feeling* like you were ugly and actually being *told* that you are the ugliest person they ever met. Almost everyone has have something they are insecure about, sometime in life. In my experience, people have actually cared what pretty people think, but with people who aren’t considered conventionally attractive (like me), they couldn’t care less. In fact, they care so little they don’t think twice about calling you “the ugliest person I’ve ever met”. Multiple times. To my face.
That’s horrible at any age, but far worse as a child.
Unfortunately, this is just happening more and more (even to people who DO fit the standards) in part due to social media. The dark of social media is that it gives people the courage to say the most meanest things especially when they can hide behind a screen.
Hey, im so sorry about how people treated you 💔💔💔
@@Thufferinthuckotash Thank you. I failed to mentioned that even though there is an undeniable dark side to social media, there is a light side. Like this side. Stephanie’s videos and much of her comment section is about spreading a positive message and finding the humanity in others. Uplifting and having empathy for each other. 🥹❤️❤️
Wow the fact this is so relatable is hurtful 😭. I remember this boy I thought was cute in elementary school called me ugly & said I had hairy legs (which I did) and ever since then I was self conscious about my appearance… I was only in 2nd or 3rd grade!
She, Bella,was absolutely stunning when she was younger. If she just waited to grow into her features, she would be such a natural beauty. I'm so sad to hear this.
Dove Cameron is even more depressing 😭 I feel so sad about this
Bella never grew into her features - she reconstructed her face via cosmetic surgery.
bella was nice, i think she had her authentic beauty ; but c’mon she would’ve never made it in fashion with her original face, not even with the nose job.
@@camilatoledo6414 I think she could have. There are many models who were specifically scouted because of their distinctive or "exotic" looks. And her family's insane wealth, influence and connections would have helped too.
@@E.V.-il Young Bella didn’t have a unique or exotic face,she was pretty in a average way,every features of her was simple yet cute,I don’t see how that is unique.
The fact that they let Bella get a nose job at 14 😢
I was literally called and introduced as “the ugly one in the family”. The little statement messed up my self esteem so much. I’m 38 years old now, and I’m still working on improving my self esteem. Ughhhh.
That’s a horrible fucking thing to say about a child AND your own family, sorry you had to go through that
I got told I was average and shouldn’t try to talk to attractive Guys because I’m not that attractive. So I can relate.
I'm sorry you went through this: I'm replying because I can relate. My family (dad and brother mainly) "joked" that I was ugly when I was a child and teen, said I was too skinny when I was young, and then said I was too fat when in my early 20s. Now I'm 41 and they STILL comment on my appearance, my weight. I avoid family events because I always come away feeling terrible about myself.
Whaaaaattt!!!?! That is absolutely awful!!! I am so sorry to hear that happened and from your own family no less! You certainly look beautiful in your picture. My father in law grabbed a bit of fat around my belly the other day and asked me why I was letting myself go. I felt so violated and shamed. All the best healing, you will get there!!
Sometimes you just have to realize some people are stupid and may not even mean it and are just saying it "as a joke." Would you ever say that to someone? Odds are not. Only stupid people say stuff like that. We like to think all humans are intelligent, but that is far from the truth.
All of these women were beautiful from the beginning! It's so sad what society can make us do!
Well with Bella it was specifically her mother. Can’t imagine growing up in a toxic household like that
@@Erdf3542 poor girl probaly has trauma from that. I just wish i could give her a hug and tell her she is and was always gorgeous
This CZcamsr is just re affirming those toxic standards
@@user-tm8dy4ze5l Why do you think that?
As a person who is also of mixed heritage, I can say that what Bella is saying is definitely true. There seems to be this weird dichotomy where when you’re mixed and have one POC parent and one European/white parent, people want you to look like a mixture of both - but not “too much” like your POC parent. 🤨🤔 Like big lips, tan and curls are fine, as long as you have a small nose, blonde hair and blue eyes. It’s honestly very bizarre and insidious. I’m not saying this is everyone, obviously, but when so many other mixed heritage people are speaking out on similar experiences growing up, there definitely is a commonality to take note of. It all goes back to colonialism and prejudice tbh, but I think the biggest thing we can do is acknowledge that it is real and do better as a society going forward 💁🏽♀️
That's why I say a lot of PoC + White/Euro relationships are often motivated by racial fetishization or internalized racism. Not saying that's the case with your parents, but I notice it a lot that PoC are told their kids are going to be beautiful if they're mixed with white. 😕
Unfortunately even if you’re born traditionally white or POC, and have too strong a resemblance to the traditional features, or not strong enough of a resemblance, you’re looks will still be critiqued for looking too closely like your ancestry, or not close enough. The beauty standard at the moment is an odd mixed ideal that has most mixed ancestry individuals scratching their heads too, because genes don’t work that way lol. Like I understand that beauty standards have always been ‘unattainable’, but it’s almost become an expectation that if we weren’t born with perfectly balanced features, we’re faulty
As a colored girl, (my family has been mixed for a while now) ive grown up with alot of cultures and ancestry from all over the world but i was always told to look more like my white relatives like? How? My mother is mixed and my dad is half mixed half white so i do look more white than previous generations in my family but im not so i just dont understand being told to look a certain way.
Sorry if this was confusing but the point is POC are often told to look more white and i just dont understand it. And also ppl wanting to look more like the other parent
Bella is not mixed 🙄
And Bella natural hair is actually blonde and her eyes blue. She looks Euporean. She dyes her hair
Don't you just 'love' beauty standards..as a teen in the 80's with full lips I was the butt of a lot of jokes..fast forward & now fillers everywhere..I turned 50 earlier this year & honestly I spent years obsessing over parts of my body I didn't like..I'm over it now, life is too short..be kind to each other always
Agreed💖Celebrate people for their differences, because that’s what makes us all beautiful is our unique differences💕
The same with me! Nowadays everyone asks me if have fillers in my lips and I get compliments mostly because of my mouth, but when I was a teenager (as well in the 80s) it was horrible. All these sexual references and silly sayings and comparisons to a duck....😒 Most of all I was annoyed by these sexual patters when I was in an age where I couldn't handle it at all. Beauty ideals come and go- just don't take it too serious.
I do hope you are enjoying your full lips now though ☺️ I have always had a hair texture of beachy waves and as a kid in the 80s I endured spiral perms then as a teen in the 90s I spent hours straightening it. Nice to finally just enjoy!
@@seltzermint5 oh I'm very happy with my lips now, I'm in 'fashion' of course, but my butt, which is as flat as a pancake is no longer...😂
Girl!!! I was absent in school for one day simply because a classmate told me that my butt was so big! 🥲 And now, everyone wants to hava a big butt! What a crazy world we live in!
Genetics are so cool. I never saw pictures of Bella & Gigi’s father as a young boy before. The resemblance is SO strong between Mohammed, Bella & Anwar while it seems Gigi looks a lot more like Yolanda and her side of the family. Bella & Gigi are both breathtakingly beautiful then and now. ❤
Well her father is not breathtakingly beautiful hes ug ly. But her mother is really pretty
Gigi also looks like Mohamed
@@user-is4tv2pq2sYeah, it really makes me wonder what Gigi and Zayn’s daughter looks like 😮
i can relate to bella and kylie, my mom is very beautiful and receives compliments literally wherever she goes, and beacuse i am not nearly as good looking as her sometimes i feel like people dont even believe that im her daughter, and when they do they keep comparing me to her which is so annoying
I’m very sorry people do this to you, from your profile picture, I think you’re very beautiful! ☺️
Girl, WHAT?! If that's you in your profile picture then you're absolutely stunning! Not a compliment, not over exaggerating, I'm simply saying the truth and what everyone is definitely thinking! People are insane if they make a gorgeous girl like you question her looks. Damn
Ummmm, what?!?! You're absolutely stunning!!
I don’t know what your mom looks like, but based off your photo I’m not sure how she could be MORE beautiful, I’m pretty sure she’s just beautiful in another way!
OMG THIS IS MEE MY MOM HAD EVEN MODELING OFFERS AND MY UGLY AS FUCK
I can absolutely feel what bella and kylie might have felt and even khloe
when they were made to believe that they are the least pretty ones
I have been there, my elder and little sisters have always been gorgeous but i was always the one people complimented least, even in school.
I had PCOS and i was overweight, acne problem and had facial hair. So I basically used to cry every night because of how different people treated me because i was not as petite and flawless as my sisters. Fast forward to now i lost 30kg of weight just to show everyone that i can be the prettiest one too. and i saw how people really changed their attitude towards me once i got pretty.
But now when i think back i feel bad for myself because anyones mental health can deteriorate if they struggle with body and self esteem issues. :(
we live in a cruel society
I wanna lose 30kg too :(
@@jojo-xh5ik I pray you achieve your goal
there is nothing normal about that family. look for better examples.
It’s really sad when siblings compare themselves to each other 🥲
It is... I relate and it sucks... Xxx
I think it's super normal because you see each other all the time and are constantly changing when growing up. it's more about the way you interpret the differences and what consequences you are taking
They do it because society compares them. Especially with sisters and other female family members, people shamelessly compare their looks and make it known which one is "prettier". Even a lot of family members give blatant preferential treatment to the more conventionally attractive girls.
Being ugly at a young age really affects the way you perceive yourself, and the way you perceive the world.
When I was 10 years old, I started to get ugly and fat, I started developing acne as well (cause I got my period at 10, what a shame) and I noticed that I was different from other girls, who were petite, thin, and didn’t have pimples.
Puberty was horrible. When I was 12-16 I really felt really ugly and insecure about myself, and people actually told me in my face that I was ugly. Boys would made fun of me and my looks, saying how disgusted they got when they look at me, and always making jokes about how I was the ugly girl of my friend group, and how I was always lonely/single. Like they only talk to me if they wanted a favor, like me helping them getting a chance with my friends, or when they needed homework, etc.
On the other hand, girls will always tell me things like: Omg your fat, have you ever tried to get on a diet?, or “You have so many pimples, have you ever thought about going with a dermatologist”, or “Have you tried make up before? You really need it” and shit like that
So obviously, I grew with the idea that I needed to change myself in order for people to like me. I grew with the idea that I wasn’t enough cause I was fat and ugly. I grew with the idea that I was the problem.
I sadly got into anorexia and lost a lot of weight, and people started complementing my body, but that wasn’t enough, I was still the ugly duckling, but skinny.
I recovered from anorexia (thankfully) and was okay with my body image, but not with my face. The pandemic started, and stress got the worst out of me, so I started to have a more severe acne, and my self esteem disappeared.
I begged my mother to take me to the dermatologist, got into some medication, and after 2 years of taking pills, I’m finally acne free.
I can gladly say after 2 years I’m finally confident, like I started doing face massages again, taking selfcare, and mental care, buying cute clothes, weightlifting and doing Pilates, balanced my diet, dyed my hair, etc etc. Honestly, I now feel really pretty, confident, and can finally understand myself.
Even though I perceive myself as beautiful, and have confidence in myself, I’m still afraid of people, and how they’ll treat me, or see me. I’ve noticed a lot of guys have come up to me, and tried to flirt with me, but I can’t flirt with them back, cause deeply inside I feel they’re Justo pranking me, and don’t actually find me pretty.
Every time someone complements me, I thank them, but still got that feeling that those compliments are all fake, and it’s just to moke me :(
I find it really hard to trust someone, or to think they’ll be attracted to me, but I’ll guess I’ll just have to work that in therapy, anyways… Being treated as ugly leaves an ugly mark on you for the rest of your life, so before commenting on someone else’s appearance, just shut your mouth and bite your tongue, cause I’m pretty sure that opinion is irrelevant and unnecessary
I can understand every word you wrote. I can't believe them also...
@@binaryhills2491 "ugly" as an adolescent is kind of different to beauty conventions in general tbh. It's basically determined by how far you stray from the 'average' features of your peers. Features considered conventionally attractive on adults like long legs, red hair, big boobs, etc can get you ridiculed and singled out as a kid or teen depending what your social circles look like. Like you hear about models, actors, etc who used to be teased for their appearance.
So now you understand that losing weight is not going to make you more beautiful.
I have gone through exact same life experience being ugly as a kid by family and strangers has completely ruined my life ,,i cant even stand people anymore
Same sister ,got acne ,was very skinny when everyone else got boobs and their curves ,i started getting ugly in puberty ,my skin got oily and hair from straight to wavy ,ugh ,got a lot of problems with my selfeestem back then and it affects you forever.
What I find interesting today, when I think retrospectively on my teenage years, it is already enough to NOT get called "pretty" or "beautiful" by family, friends, etc. that insecurities start to creep in, especially if you hear other girls getting titled that. So I can't even imagine what its like to add the pressure by actively calling someone ugly. In my case it was only the former.
It's so ironic that these girls were so beautiful in the "ugly duckling" fase
I always felt Ugly growing up as well, mostly starting from young adult age. I’m the only one in my family with naturally curly hair & I didn’t know how to take care of it, so I always brushed it out & it was frizzy. I was bullied in middle school by so many people & by girls that supposedly were my “friends”. Going into high school, my sisters would always get compliments on how beautiful they were & I never did. I became so quiet & shy that to this day I have a hard time talking to people & starting conversations. Now I know I’m not ugly & I like the way I look, but when I get compliments, I still find it hard to believe that people think I’m pretty because I spent so much of my young years believing I was not
I also grew up feeling like the ugliest girl ever. I had acne starting from age 10 and i was a foot taller than everyone. But after puberty now everyone says I’m beautiful and i get treated so differently based off of what i looked like. It’s quite messed up how society treats you differently if you are pretty versus not the beauty standard 😢
Growing up ugly and then having a glow up was surreal to me. I was chunky and people always made fun of me. I lost weight due to an eating disorder and suddenly boys were interested in me for the first time in my life. Really messed me up for awhile because I continued to starve myself thinking it was the only way people would see me as beautiful. I later found fitness and powerlifting, now I am strong and not hungry all the time. Very comfortable in my body and not feeling super ugly anymore, though I do have confidence issues still.
This is exactly the story of my life too.
I can relate, to the first part especially. "glowing up" showed me how shallow people are and now I wonder if they would be just as nice to me if I was still fat..
I relate to this HARD. In my early-mid 30’s. I lost a TON of weight. The more weight I lost the more compliments I got. It developed into a bad ED and ended up so skinny I looked ill. I have put all the weight back on and have aged 10+ years. I still have a messed up relationship with food and always will. I feel so bad for girls growing up in today’s world of social media and wildly unreasonable beauty standards.
I grew up feeling really ugly. Funny thing is that I didn't consider myself ugly until people started to say that - classmates, teachers and even family members. When I wasn't told that I was ugly, I was simply compared with other girls who were prettier. I've grown into my features but that feeling of not being good enough has never left me. I really wish someone would have thought me that I'm worth it - regardless of how I look. It's really hard to change this distorted perception as an adult and the media and the unrealistic beauty standards don't help either. I can't help but fantasize about how much easier my life would have been if I was actually beautiful
You know what, when it comes to Kylie, let’s honestly go back and look at all the attention she garnered after “glowing up”. To go from being the “black sheep” to being so young and having men fawning all over you, and people judging you for your looks, and people trying to look like you. The pressure is unimaginable. That has to do something to your self esteem and psyche.
I used to hate my eyebrows until my grandmother passed away, and I realized I have her eyebrows. Now I love them. It’s so sad that some people don’t get to come to that conclusion about themselves. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful ❤
Unfortunately, this proves nothing. If they hadn't changed their appearance to this degree, they wouldn't have gained the rising popularity - Bella would have remained Gigi's unknown sister, and Kylie would have been the least beautiful Jenner.
No, there are so many accomplishments in the world to acquire. Why would modeling and social media be the only outlets to success for them? Personally, I was blessed by being an ugly duckling. It allowed me to focus on school and my intelligence, and now I’m both conventionally attractive and a lawyer. I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to do that if distracted by sex and boys starting from the age of 12, like girls going through puberty tend to experience. It also allowed me to create a very solid identity beyond my physical appearance. That is hugely important for women.
Exactly... as much as people like denying beauty standards. If you want to "make it" you have to live up to those standards. There's a reason why its so unobtainable otherwise everyone would be famous.
Kylie was always more conventionally attractive than Khloe
@@clairewillow6475 even with the surgery Khloe still looks rough. Goes to show even surgery with the best surgeon has its limits. 👩🏿🦰
@@koul3709 but you aren't part of the Hadid or Kardashian/Jenner family. We aren't the same as them
I was an "ugly duckling" who grew into my looks. I had very full lips (not considered attractive in the 60s and 70s), too-large brown eyes and a long nose. I was teased and called "ugly" in elementary school, and it was even worse in middle school (which we called "Junior High" back then). In high school, I just felt invisible. Fast forward to my mid-20s; somewhere along the line, I had grown into an "exotic beauty," but I never really accepted or believed it, despite the objective difference in the way people, especially men, responded to me. I put on a pretty good facade, but never actually *felt* truly beautiful except maybe on my wedding day...and now that I'm in my mid-60s, I look at old photos of myself from the 80s, 90's and early 2000s, and I find myself wishing I had appreciated how beautiful I actually was, *when* I was. Moral of the story: You are uniquely beautiful, right now. BELIEVE it, because you ARE. You have nothing to fear or apologize for.
I was the ugly duckling but my family never acted like it and still treated me like their little princess until I did blossom. Some still find me ugly (random irrelevant strangers) but who caaares. People who walk around just seeing ugly or pretty in people are shallow and empty headed. I'm working on staying beautiful on the inside.
I don’t get how people can look at others and place their judgment on every them - it is SO entitled! We don’t exist to meet anyone expectations, and no one exists to meet ours. Society encourages us to objectify everyone. We even objectify other women to an extreme extent. It’s messed up. Society is sick. We are whole HUMAN BEINGS. Not objects.
But from reading your comment, i guess there are some people who have got the right attitude. You are a beautiful soul ❤❤❤
Oh mannnn this video is for me lol. I didn’t fully glow up until after high school and it’s quite difficult to accept compliments as reality now. I don’t really let anyone take photos of me to this day. I can’t imagine living amongst family that are known for their beauty in the public eye. Bella would’ve been easily the prettiest girl in a normal high school. But comparing yourself to actual super models will make anyone insecure
Hi Stephanie! I just needed to let you know how important I think your content is and thank you for all that you do. I am a psychologist who works with many men and woman around anxiety and depression. In all honesty, one very significant factor in these mood disorders is low self-esteem which starts from a very young age. People have received negative or shaming messages regarding skin, hair and body types and cannot accurately see themselves as they truly are. It breaks my heart how many brilliant, compassionate and gifted people were shamed as kids and these patterns continue into adulthood. Thank you for calling attention to these issues by using celebrities. It is terrible that certain celebrities feel they have to morph into the current standards of beauty which vary almost daily. It scares me to think of the physical and psychological scars that these people will have in the future. We don't know the effects of botox, implants, fillers, etc in the long term because there is a lack of research.... And what scares me the most is that those who were shamed to lose the very features that made them unique and now doing this to their own children.....😭
Yess agree👏🏻
I like the darker background, it’s nicer on the eyes comparison to all the bright white backgrounds everyone uses. Also, your intro reminds me of Aurora talking about her sad songs but the next ones not so sad.
czcams.com/video/Y2AqeH1GPs4/video.html “Aurora I went to far live at the Honda stage”. It’s cute and a good song.
The main thing my parent always told me is to never be mean about something a person cannot change!!
Honestly even as a person who is aware of just how incredibly harsh and unrealistic todays beauty standards are, I can really sympathize with all the celebrities who decided they needed to change everything about their appearance to fit in because if I had the money / resources I would do it in a heartbeat.
you look beautiful!
@@recordtapesbackward Thank you 🥺💛
The struggle is so real, I can relate to the ‘original’ versions of the ladies, but not the ability to change what I hate. My first ‘boyfriend’ when I was 12 messed up my already fragile self-esteem. He told me he only asked me out to hang out with my best friend, a taller blonde, and then when I dumped him for that, he started adding ‘dog’ in front of my name whenever he saw me. I’ve always been shy, so that really, really messed with my head. Now, at 45, I’m still struggling. The men in my life are nice to me now, but I can never see a future potential partner in any of them because I just see myself as the ugly duckling. I’m surrounded by gorgeous young girls at my job, and I’m overweight and all I see in the mirror everyday is ugly.
I watch these videos on a marathon whenever I need a boost, thank you, Stephanie, so much for reminding us to try and see the good parts of ourselves.
I, too, have internalised what my bullies used to say to me. I see glimpses of them in strangers’ looks and in comments which otherwise would be meaningless. I’m always assuming that people mean the worst and that they wish me ill. I hope you know you’re not alone.
Sending you my love.❤❤
You're the second person on here that let a 12 year old boy ruin your confidence for life. Why? The kid was 12, you gotta move on.
I feel this so much. People at school and in my family would call me ugly all the time. Worse, I was shy and short too. My entire family is full of tall, beautiful, outgoing people.
I had a glow up and it's been 8 years since anyone called me ugly, yet I'm still a little mentally fucked up.
I feel bad for their kids who will grow up with their mom’s natural features because they’re going to look nothing like them and feel like they aren’t good enough
i dont usually comment, but this one rlly resonated w me. growing up, even as young as 5 years old, i was bullied in preschool because i wasnt pretty enough to fit in w the seemingly more "prettier girls" and tormented and left out of so many activities. Then in kindergarten, i was noticeably treated worse compared to my prettier best friend at the time, despite both of us being nice to everyone and doing no wrong, and to this day, that still leaves marks on me because it was that feeling of "why me?" and feelings of constantly being left out and thrown horribly mean insults despite me not ever being mean.
Then comes gr 6, and it gets even worse because this is typically the age where u are more self aware and conscious of your own appearance. I had a best friend at the time who everyone compared me to because we supposedly "look alike", but everyone would be extremely nicer to her compared to me and it was painfully obvious. One of our friends straight up told us "you guys look like dolls, but she (my bsf) is the prettier version" and even after many years, i still remember that. Boys who would go after my best friend would all reject me. I was rejected by every single guy I ever liked, and many rejected me in the most utter disgusting way as well, sending my confession to a class group chat and embarrassing me so I would be the target of discussion.
I would constantly notice minor things such as when me and my bsf were sitting together at a table in class, the boys at the table would only look at her and talk to her only and they made it extremely obvious that they had no interest in talking or even interacting with me. All the attention would go to my bsf, and as much as I'm happy for her, it hurts me that looks can demoralize u to almost feeling like u r worthless.
I would cry so many nights because of the treatment from being "ugly", and i have examined if it was my personality before which made me extremely insecure about my personality and looks because i just didnt think i was gud enough in any areas.
I got a glow up in high school, and the treatment i got was so different. I suddenly had so much guys who wanted to talk to me, be nice to me, hit me up, etc. Almost everywhere i went, i always had a guy crushing on me, and girls were suddenly more nicer to me now. But despite receiving all this attention and constant validation of my "beauty", I still felt like the ugly girl i used to be. It's a feeling that you will never forget because the trauma stays with you and fucks u up mentally that you don't ever believe that you're beautiful no matter what people say. To this day, I still don't feel "beautiful" and i don't trust compliments that well because it's just really hard to take it in when you've been called ugly practically all your life.
I had a major "glow up" because i was chronically ill in school and I've gotten healthier. But I still get confused about people treating me differently, inviting me out more, complimenting me constantly, etc. It's big shift from the torment i went through as an "ugly" weird girl in school and it still makes me uncomfortable
I feel you, I had a glow up after losing a lot of weight for health reason and it was so weird to see and feel how people treated me differently just because of that.
@@paris5768 i almost died from Celiac Disease
If I had a boyfriend like Kylie’s.. who’d say to me “ your lips are no good “… he would be left with no lips at all 😄😄😄😄😄👎🏻
I feel so much for both growing up having to deal with all that pressure….
I also think this heavily boils down to Eurocentrism. Gigi had the featured catered to western beauty ideals and was hence favoured. And Bella remembled her Arab side. What’s funny is that Bellas Palestinian side is royal.
As a south Asian growing up in the west I know how prevalent those ideals are. The truth is all ethnicities are beautiful and one should not be favoured due to political history
🤮
Bella didn’t overcome her insecurities she hid them
I love this. I feel like we were only kids when we were labelled this -but it takes time to grow into our features and figure out what suits us and what we like and how we fit in in the world, and then suddenly everyone’s coming at you with their opinions and judgements and it’s not cool! I’ve really grown into my features today and suddenly the people who judged have changed their tunes. It’s crazy to me, why can’t people just let kids grow up at their own pace!
Whenever I feel insecure and think, “maybe I should have this ir that done,” I really appreciate your videos because they remind me I am beautiful the way I am. Thank you❤
People were brutal to Kylie and Khloe. They wonder why both of them did what they did, like really? To read and see people call you “the ugly one” day in and day out must be harrowing. And growing up in the public eye doesn’t help, either. Especially when you’re constantly being compared to a “more attractive” sibling, IE. Kim and Kendall.
Such a refreshing video. Thank you! I think a lot of people (me included) needed to hear this. ❤️ Also, anyone else noticed that after these celebs 'became pretty' they seemed to lose some of their spark and personality? They never smile in the after photos and just look so sad - maybe that's all the botox though? 😪
Biggest tip for a background is play with depth! Even if your set up is just a corner of a room, have items that very how close they are to the camera. Also, think if you want to be "boxed in". For example, your speakers are on each side of your head which doesn't make the area have "breathing room". Test which color palettes for depth too. In design, groups of three are very aesthetic because it places on their differences but also them grouped together. So having three tan vases with different heights and width looks good. They are in the same color family but don't look boring with their variety.
Definitely can relate.. was always compared to my sister all my life. She is older by 4 years and growing up boys my age would compare me to her even though she was at her teenage stage. I've grown to love myself despite the constant comparisons but it was a hard journey to learn to love myself. Glad it never made me resent her but I've known sisters that break due to comparisons. I wish people would stop comparing others and start seeing everyone in their own light ❤ we are all unique and beautiful in our own way
It's sad that we the society bully a public personality to such an extent that they start hating how they look n want to literally alter themselves and then watching their altered look we get insecure about ourselves n give it back to the public figures by claiming they aren't natural . It's ironic how everyone talks about being kind to one another yet if we tear apart people for the way they look .
Anyways great vedio Stephanie as always ♥️
That's so sad Stephanie that you had to go through abuse like that. You are beautiful.
growing up as an ugly sister is hard - my mom and sisters are very slim and blonde, but I am not. I think I do understand Bella, my mom was not happy with how I looked either - to the point that she was ashamed of having a "fat" child. I still remember when a classmate of my tall, thin, blonde sister looked at me and shouted "I can't believe SHE is your sister, LOL". I was bullied by my family for not losing weight to look better at prom (can't blame my sisters though, they have been taught that being bigger is a flaw developed by laziness). I think I was close to developing an eating disorder because that was the only way I could be slim (my body just won't look as petite as my sisters'. no matter how hard I'd exercise). It took me years to realize that someone might, in fact, consider me pretty and not the second best.
I honestly love your background because it is different than others we see on youtube and also it goes so well with your brown hair and pale skin. I would suggest not to change it, but to add some decorations to it. Not bands related stuff like you ad before, but more aesthetic stuff -plants, leaves, pots, candles 😃
Love this video Stephanie, I cannot tell you how much all of your channel helps me to overcome my insecurities, even at 11 we are still facing social media and I honestly believed all of it until I found your channel. Tysm!😉
Stephanie, I am a fairly new subscriber and I just want to let you know I appreciate the positive vibes you put in your videos. I'm glad you have such a big subscriber base because it's so important for all of us to realize how misleading, social media, and celebrity culture is. Thank you! 💐
I am actually mad that I got an ad for plastic surgery before your video started. I know it's out of your control and I blame CZcams. But like wtf? The whole point of your videos is about embracing your natural beauty... so much irony.
Thank you for your content and positivity!
stephanie your background is a perfect base, you can add wall art in the middle and/or a few details like a plant or a candle if you want to brighten it up :)
It's so true that we look for the flaws in ourselves and then envy the best physical qualities in other people. That's not even comparing apples to apples!! It would make more sense if you were comparing the best of you to the best of the other person, or "worst" to "worst". Unfortunately, telling ourselves not to compare us to others doesn't always work. Love your messaging so much, I agree that there is beauty in everyone to celebrate!
Kylie was legit stunning before! The smallness of her mouth made her eyes look even bigger. She looked like a little doll 💖
I agree with the background changing 👌
Still love the speakers as a decorative element
The conclusion of this video is prefect and says it all! ❤
About your background. I kind of love the vintage brown background! Sets you apart from other youtubers and shows your own style 😍
Money buys new faces, bodies but it doesn't change who you are because beauty comes from within. These people are starting to look like clones but not of the good kind.
100%
Omg, you hit the nail on the head. We should be looking back to our ancestors as to why we look like we do. I could def see that being a huge positive turn around for all the negative self talk we are born into doing.
When I was 13, this lady was doing my makeup for an event, and she turned around from my face and announced to the whole room, “she has no top lip at all!” 🙄 thanks, THAT isn’t going to affect my self esteem for the next 20 years.
Oh well. I have never and will never overdraw my lips, and forget about fillers. I know I would look ludicrous with big full lips. I’m just biding my time until the 1920s Clara Bow tiny “bee sting” lips come back in fashion.
I can fully relate to this. I used to hate alot about myself. I felt I was too tall, too strong, my nose was to prominent amongst many other things. After my brother did some digging on our ancestry I discovered alot of my genetic makeup is of Russian heritage. Understanding why I look the way I look really does make me appreciate how I look different. 💖💖
I know how Kylie and Bella feel like. I feel like a lot of younger sisters have had their mothers constantly compare them to their older sisters to the point where we start disliking ourselves.
I agree about the background - the speaker is beautiful but kind of busy/distracting. I think simple is better 👍🏻 just my two cents! Thanks for your videos, they have helped me with all the crazy messages we women get on a daily basis. It’s so good to hear someone speak realistically about beauty standards!
Yes new background! Love this one but excited to see what you’d create. ALSO I would LOVE to see longer videos. I love to hear what you have to say and an always waiting for your next upload.
Like so Stephanie can see and make us longer vids!!❤❤
I agree with you on the background. I think the vintage speaker is such a cool thing, but it is a little bland for CZcams. Maybe if it could be angled so a little white shows on the outside, or if some plants or artwork were added in front of the speakers to add a pop of color. Unfortunately, YT and social media draws people in by visuals, and a brighter or more colorful background gives people more to look at while the video plays. I'd personally watch regardless of background, but new viewers may differ.
I like the vintage and classy office feel of the set up now, especially with the camera angle. Very nice. When is that baby coming!? Ahh congratulations you guys 🥰
I love you & I love your gorgeous vintage background & your gorgeous brown hair! so aesthetically pleasing 🤎 but whatever makes you happy makes me happy!
I watch your videos as a form of therapy. Thank you for all you do to help us feel okay. much love
I like the vintage speaker background, it's got a warm, cozy colour to look at :)
I LOVE the brown speakers in the back, especially when you put different albums up there
I’m dying 😂 your captions are so BOLD I love it 😂
i feel so bad for Bella like GIRL you’re stunning!!! both she and Gigi are beautiful.
honestly I just feel so bad for Khloe, it breaks my heart how the paparazzi treated her back then💔💔💔
Love your content Stephanie
! ❤. I say go for the background change, why not?!
Side note; isn’t Bella naturally brunette like her dad? Lots of kids have super blonde hair and then go dark as they grow up, like all the kids in my family, including me! And does anyone else notice, Yolanda and Gigi highlighting their hair to stay blonde? You can see the roots! I think naturally they’re likely to be dark blonde/ light brown, no? 🤷♀️
I love the brown background 😍 it's creative
Here’s to the “ugly ducklings” who might still in their process of fishing out the trauma others put them through and who never deserved any of society’s bullshit. Take care, everyone. It’s so fucked up to be telling literal fucking children they’re “ugly.”
What kind of a shifty doctor gives a 14 year old child a nose job!! And her mother just let it happen
I'm pretty sure you just have to have a parents permission
Amazing as always 💕
great video! af for the background, I loved the lighter one more - it contrasts more with your hair color
Thanks for what you said about appreciating where you get your features from and it really changed the way I look at my smile lines and my nose.
Hey Stephanie! Just another comment from me to appreciate what you're doing for us all in your own small way. You really are the older sister who's always there to remind you that you're worth it all. You r getting this comment from a now 19 year old little me who has battled body dysmorphia and depression for nearly 2 years and has finally overcome it all, one step at a time.
Love you Stephanie and thank you so much for the eye opening content🥰🥰
Wooord 🥰 Stephanie is amazing !⚡️
I clicked so fast. I am living breathing proof of this with the exception that I was born into the real world. I spent all of my younger years focusing on being kind and funny. The looks came later in life and now they're just an added bonus. I never valued myself based on my appearance so now its really nothing to me. If anything, it just makes me really aware of how shallow the world is. The same people who teased me in my younger years are in my DM's on a regular basis. And for what? My heart has always been the same. The only thing that changed was my appearance.
I do reccomend the other back ground. That pretty feather thing is dope and looks great with her complexion.
only certain people look right with full lips. it's about balance. people with smaller features often look better with thinner lips and vice versa. it's not about what looks good on someone else it's about what looks good on YOU. we're all different and we shouldn't strive to have the same features.
I have never seen these photos from Bella as a kid before and wow she was so pretty. I loved her features. She still looks pretty, in fact she is one of the few celebreties I still find very attractive after multiple surgeries, but I would love to know how she looked now as an adult. Anyway, I totally get the pressure she (and probably Kylie as well) were under with having a gorgeous sister that got favored.
It is so sad that these poor girls felt that way. Not because of any commentary from my own family, but I also felt horribly ugly as a child and became anorexic because I physically wanted to disappear. How sad that conformity and not uniqueness seems to be the goal. I am so sorry you felt that way and were bullied as a child.
Sadder that the some of these parents add to it. As a mom. I think my children are phenomenal inside and out and it makes me nauseous to see these "moms" put pressure on them.
I LOVE your vintage background, it is gorgeous and matches your beautiful hair. Whatever you decide will be awesome.
Hey Stephanie, congrats and thanks for ur laid back, fun yet critical view on the actual pop-celebrity-panorama and its perks :€
* yes indeed! ur background would look lovely maybe with a floor lamp and some hanging plants?
* on a positive note, Im glad that because of self-image past struggles, at least you have developed great makeup skills! beautiful job :3
I love your speaker background!!!! It’s so unique!!
Not related to the video but the side note! I love the vintage speaker in the background I feel like it frames you perfectly 😊
I just want to say that the vintage speakers are fantastic. As well, the zeppelin album was an awesome personal touch. Brown is an underrated color.
Such a great video… ❤ it can suck being compared to your sisters or family members. I hate the feeling but growing into my features was such a waiting game, a battle and still is. It’s nice that I’m not alone and btw I’ve been following you since you started your channel and happy to have found you when I did
Honestly it sucks when your insecure with something and you think oh no one knows but then people start pointing it out. I honestly think it’s amazing what Kylie did and made just like you said ❤️
And honestly so many people judging Kylie had thin lips or didn’t think they were attractive it’s ridiculous get some confidence and stop judging others
Can you do one on the no/thin eyebrows trend. I’m really excited about that one as a girl who can’t grow eyebrows to save my life lol the bushy eyebrow trend sucked for me
About your background, I personally love some symmetry in youtube video’s when it comes to contrast between dark/light, so the one feather in the corner would distract me, but if it was on both sides or something else in the other corner, I would like it more :). And maybe add some lights in the back to (literally) light things up?