Putin's Draft Is Going As Badly As His War | NASA Knows How To Celebrate!
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- čas přidán 1. 05. 2024
- Russians are fleeing the country in huge numbers after Vladimir Putin announced he would send fighting-age men to the front lines in Ukraine. Here at The Late Show, Stephen found out that the happy nerds at NASA celebrate a win in much the same way that our writers celebrate a successful joke. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Former army combat medic here.. ALL our aid bags were packed w tampons for the EXACT SAME reason
I'm pretty sure that's what they ere originally invented for.
Navy Corpsman co-signs this comment.
Creative problem solving 👍
I think that the point is that the Russian soldiers are being told to bring their own for field dressing
And don't forget the super glue.
I know someone who fled Russia to Georgia in February, when the invasion began. It was an act of protest against the war starting, but now I feel like he dodged a bullet.....literally.
Best wishes to your friend
guess what, an act of protest against the war is...protest. not leaving the country and ignoring what's happening
@@MyroslavaRm Vladimir Putin is a dictator with Secret Service agents killing dissenters against his regime. To protest publicly is to put a target on your back in a country like that.
@@MyroslavaRm does it make you feel like a big man to troll everyone in the CZcams comments section?
@@TentinQuarantino_ I'm from Georgia and nobody wants russians coming here. They had 20+ years to do something about putin, as he devastated Chechnya, Ukraine and Georgia in wars, but they lived comfortably under his rule, until sanctions hit. They're not refugees, they just want to live a comfy life, while the guy they voted in kills innocent people.
My mom’s a RN and First Aid instructor. The person who certified her as an instructor was a former medic for the Canadian Army who is now a hunter. He told her he puts a box of tampons in his hunting first aid kit, because while odd, they’d be very effective (as a makeshift tool) for bullet wounds. They’re easy to use and expand as they absorb blood, closing the hole and slowing/stopping immediate blood loss.
The product that became the tampons was first made for bleeding wounded soldiers during wartime. Someone came up with the idea that it would work for women during their periods.
Which is ironic considering how many men get squeamish buying tampons and pads. I mean they are just basically cloth and adhesive.
I would just recommend the unscented ones. The perfume could cause infection.
Why would you post such disproven and mythical advice on here? Oh wait its CZcams…you do realize that tampons have been proven time and time again to not be a good go to for GSW due to cavitation by bullets. When we were deployed we were strictly forbidden to even consider using such a dumb idea. ESP since quick clot has been around for decades now. The newer version of quick clot doesn’t even require much surgery to remove it when the person reaches the OR. At the end of the day though applied pressure wins out over almost all other options…
I think super glue was developed during Vietnam for sealing wounds.
I live by where Fetterman and Braddock. He was a pillar in the community. Still resonates everywhere. He is a no nonsense guy that just wants better. He also worked really hard in the community. I would rather have someone that has been around the block, fixed the block, and made that block better than a hack Dr. that's not grounded by reality. How the hell can Dr. Oz even help Pa. if he never did anything here?
Fetterman ✔️
Dr. Oz also lives in New Jersey! He's just coasting on his sparse fame and Trump's coattails. His whole campaign is a joke with no punchline 😆
But but but but but Oz is Christian Republican!!!
That's important, somehow!
And you know why?
REASONS!!!!!
@@zachnasr9911 Sorry, if you actually listen to Dr. OZ he makes a lot more sense and seems a lot less corrupt. Do your research. Fetterman is going to get trounced in debate. "Dr. Oz: Fetterman is dodging debates to hide his radical record"
Betterment for president
Russian draftees: I don't need ammunition, I need a ride
Good one
Great one !!!
I think they need tampons
Full circle.
@@batalorian7997 Imagine how upset all the women will be when they realize there aren't any more tampons in the whole country.
I cannot imagine the horror those Ukrainian people are going through.
Not as bad as the russian people.
Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦💙💛💜
Nor the Iranian people which seems to get minimal coverage if any... #Mahsaamini
@@Kal-EL_Volta um probably more? The Ukrainians are victims...
Who cares when we have places like Flint, Mi that's been needing water a lot longer than Ukraine has been at war. Russia could blow Ukraine off the map for all I care.
For roughly 10 minutes every day this guy takes away my anxiety and depression
You need serious help then
@@norwaydude4798 yeah probably, not alone
Same. Its the only way to stay informed without going absolutely crazy
@@leoniemoats7467 You get info from comedians who use cheap lines for laughs 😃
@@leoniemoats7467 he isn’t informing you on shit, he’s told what to say. We are so gullible. Study the history behind this conflicts
In regards to the tampons for bullet wounds, that’s actually what they were originally for. They started being used as sanitary products when the war nurses in WWI or II (I forget which) had to deal with their periods with limited resources, and they went “hey, you know what’s kinda similar in shape to a bullet wound?” and that’s roughly how tampons became the bane of men.
Not so much shape as staunching a lot of blood.
True about the tampons and as an infantry vet I can tell you that our medic did keep some on hand for if we got shot.
How about using convicted pedophiles and cannibals as draftees? And giving them amnesty? Thats what russian government does - thats what westerners not mention
"War is rich old men trying to get richer by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die."
That's why I have no respect for older men whom are upper class, married, conservative and religious. They're the biggest hedonists, fucking and patronizing young people and ethnic minorities.
Actually, commie, the saying is: "War is old men talking and young men dying."
@@atlasfeynman1039
Gist is more or less that same. Also, criticism of upper class is also a liberal thing.
And I mean liberal as in the default classical definition of the word, not the Cold War propaganda meaning.
And the president who didn't start any new wars, but started withdrawing our troops from other countries was? Gasp....Trump!
@@demoskunk
Trump didn't withdraw troops. Biden withdrew troops.
Granted Trump didn't start new wars, but he did bomb Syria.
I used to be an EMT in the US. We totally carried tampons. They're like the duct tape of emergency medicine.
(Also, duct tape).
Lol. Great analogy.
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
Or potato.
@@shirleyrombough8173 🤣 Maybe Tide Pods are plentiful from all their washing machine thefts - they could stuff their GSWs with those.
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are a not sound interventions for GSWs:
czcams.com/users/shortsCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
Love how Oz was booed more than the guy threaten nuclear war.
Stephen really nailed it tonight. He got everybody dead on and it was hilarious doing it. My hat is off to him.
I was born in Ukraine. Part Ukrainian part Russian.
Thanks Stephen for talking about this. At least something can sound funny about this situation.
Luckily I don't live there for 30 years already, but still feel the pain of the Ukrainians and feel some weird sort of responsibility for the actions of the Russians.
Well, you got 2 best gene of 1000 years of sacrifice in you. I believe ukraine will won and russian are not one to bullied by a grup of beligerent old men. I hope russian make example out of putin, tsar family style.
Only Russian could take down a russian.
Peace for Ukraine, Freedom for Russia.
I feel the same weird sense of responsibility and I'm not even Russian.
I guess it's due to the fact that I sort of know I could have been politically active (and uncorrupt) and involved the last 20 years but didn't bother to so I feel like I have a small little part in the world being the way it is today.
@@cyberneticbutterfly8506
You took it even further haha.
I am very active politically I think, but there's nothing anyone could have actually done to stop this, except the people Russia.
Just so you know my kids and I pray Ukraine every night, ( Now we also pray that as many Russians who do not want to take part in the war can get out with their families safely.
" Put your hand on Potato " I had to pause the video and LMAO.
Me too! 😂
Of course! It's because whatever they swear on in Russia... is 🥔.😂😂
I knew tbers was a potato joke in there somewhere. Thanks for writing about it.
because russia/potato jokes are super original and hilarious. what next - maybe a joke about irish being drunks, or old people being confused by technology? pathetic.
5:16 _"Put right hand on potato and repeat after me..."_
OK, or left hand.
Stephen you are killing me i'm 87 year old every time you let me lol so hard God be with and bless you always
IT WAS WONDERFUL SEEING ALL THE WOMEN WORKING AT NASA.....YOU GO LADIES!
Russia might be the first country ever to have people flee because their country invaded other, not because others invade theirs.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Vietnam didn't even create this amount of departures. A lot of Jehovah witnesses, I guess.
Is mass potato exodus.
Umm, Americans who fled to Canada during the Vietnam war?
@@doughannan6935 no were near the same thing.
Not the first. The U.S. invaded Vietnam and of lots of American draft dodgers fled to Canada.
I love how Federman ALWAYS has an excellent comeback to BURN 🔥 Oz. Brilliant. Be safe in Florida everyone.
Tell me something Nancy if you were a republican would you vote for fetterman and his policies
@@danmcgriff1421 Tell me something Dan, if you weren't conservative, would you support the current dumpster fire that is the current GOP?
@@danmcgriff1421 Suuuuure, Trumpie.
Colbert’s writers and his delivery impeccable ….as usual…😂😂 any time i’m feeling down I just watch this show …❤never fails to make me laugh
Did they find Jackie ?
The walking encyclopedia for Lord of the Rings said "look at those happy nerds" hahahaha love it
Army vet here, the tampon bit is something we teach US soldiers too. All our medics carried them, and we were encouraged to have some on hand as a "self rescue" measure. I know it sounds funny, but it's not. It can stop you or your Battle Buddy from bleeding out. I kinda hope you'll retract this bit. Otherwise, love the show Steven!
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@@ElCapAddict pretty obvious you've never been on a battle field. Thanks for the "educated" advice. If I get shot with an EMT handy and they use a tampon, I'll be pissed I guess.
@@wiggywig1105 Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs:
czcams.com/users/shortsCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@@wiggywig1105 think that other guy doesn't realize that when you're on a battlefield, you make do with what you have. sure, there's BETTER stuff, but it's usually harder to come by.
And it'll work until you can get your ass medevaced to a proper infirmary or checked out by a Medic.
@@michaelgreenwood3413 Rolled gauze, useful for GSWs and many other injuries as well or a t-shirt, would be harder to come by than tampons? Tampons, which are being brought for a single purpose - a purpose that they’re so minimally effective for at treating high velocity GSWs it would be laughable if it were not so serious...
During this hurricane, please shelter somewhere safe.
Barring that, PLEASE, PLEASE shelter at Mar-a-Lago. I hear they have an omelet bar near the top-secret document storage desk.
OH YES! I didn't even think of that!
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
Busted out laughing at "Put rite hand on potatoe & repeat after me" thank you Stephen!
😮 You made a Dan Quayle potato mistake!
GO FETTERMAN! I remember when he was doing boots-on-the-ground work in the Pgh suburbs. It is so awesome to see him pursue higher offices in the same spirit.
Fetterman reminds me of Zelenskyy who shows up to important political meetings in a t-shirt and jeans. It doesn't matter how you're dressed if you get the job done.
It doesn't matter how you Tweet, if you get the job done.
It doesn't matter if you run on an anti-corruption platform, as long as you buy up enough real estate abroad (and keep those off shore coffers full)
@@demoskunk Well, 45 can't Tweet anymore; his “Truths” are lies; and he didn't get much done other than completely jack up the nation, ruin our global reputation (though we’ve been doing that for years), and lining his own pockets with the cash of the blindly and ignorantly loyal.
Well, but Zelensky wears normal shirts and jeans. Fetterman must search long and hard to find clothes as ugly, hideously ugly as he wears.
@@Swan-rb4yg
Yes, that would expend a lot of energy, lol.
Einstein wore the same suit everyday because he didn't want to waste brain-power thinking about what to wear.
Seriously, the bullseye of that asteroid is incredible. Most people are impressed with golf or basketball or archery. Anyone impressed with accuracy, thats untouchable God tier accuracy, and precision
360 no scope, over the horizon, hair on a pimple shot.
...and other than those trick-shot videos it couldn't take a quadrillion tries to get it.
Physics and Maths, and human ingenuity, what a fantastic achievement.
Love the comparison! My dad was an engineer and he said if people had any idea what their job was they'd be paid like sports figures.(or at least more than they are currently paid)
I am a relatively skilled archer and trying to describe to my fiancée with the comparison of being off by a fraction of an inch just wasn't good enough. I had to say that it would be like a shot from here to some distant moon of Venus where I had to take into account the spinning of earth, gravity of other planets, speed of a moving target and plan my shot accordingly and I'm sure there was more to it I don't understand.
Am I the only waiting Jon’s piano tinkle when Stephen hands the imaginary object to someone off camera?
For some reason those clips of NASA engineers cheering when something lands always make me cry…
To honestly think that once Florida gets pounded by this hurricane Biden is still going to be willing to help Florida because he cares about America but Deathsantis will try to make it seem like it's a bad thing I hope he loses in November vote for Charlie Crist.
For the PEOPLE, by the PEOPLE (said no MAGAhat)
That is not true! DeathSantis would not make it seem as if it's a bad thing! He would just take credit for it himself!
DeSatan is even more deranged and cruel than TFG. Come on Florida.
Vote blue, not Q.
He'll rename it hurricane Ron and proclaim it's bringing water to thirsty Floridans. Hot wind DeSantis strikes again.
@@ritacuartas6695 I thought his name was DeSatin.
The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone on Earth's history.
Birds didn't exist back then, they developed later. So no, it wasn't...
(Sorry!)
Nice. Very nice
Technically it led to them existing we don't know if they would have evolved otherwise. It's the only stone that's ever created birds
@@henrygvidonas9573- Modern birds originated about 100 million years ago. The asteroid struck about 65 million years ago. So, birds did exist and I'm sure the asteroid killed quite a few... along with a lot of everything else. I'm sure the OP was alluding to the fact that birds ARE theropod dinosaurs, though.
@@racookster I thought that was the point of the joke?
Difficult to even joke and or laugh at this point...THANK GOD FOR COLBERT!!! WOOOOO!!!!......WOOOOOO!!!!!
Colbert is a Hollywood commiefornia commiecrat.
Dang, as a Floridian I was planning on watching the 1/6 committee's show to get my mind off the storm 🍷🍻
After 50 years of learning how and what to do during these things a little entertainment would have been nice.
Currently into a Stephen King book 1,078 pgs. Last storm I read IT. The door stoppers (literally 😂) always help!
Yeah, that tampon hack... That's a real thing. They didn't mention the important part. Get to a surgeon fast. It slows the bleeding but it's a time bomb for septis, so you traded hemhorragic shock for septic shock. You bought time, that's all. But the clock is ticking.
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@@ElCapAddict It is dumb. Like I said, it's a hack that buys time. We're talking last resort.
@@WaywardVet Sorry, not specifically directed at you then. I’ve been spamming my response to every half-wit post thinking this is legitimate, current, or even best medical practice (in the field or not).
@@ElCapAddict Spamming is the right word here.
Throw some lemon juice on it so it doesn't go brown. 😋
So... an election between a local guy who wears hoodies, and an out of towner guy who bitches about the prices of crudite? Hmm... I wonder who's going to get the Flyers fans' votes?
Fantastic! Go Fetterman! Thank you for your service for PA so far
Haven’t watched Colbert in a while - he’s killin it.
Hunkering down on a little island in Florida now. Gonna be an interesting few days. But hey, if things go terribly wrong, maybe that last *president* aka Chester Cheater, will come throw some paper towels at us
wishing you and yours saftey light and love💛
Chester cheater…..lolololo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I wish you and yours well!
I audibly snorted air out of my nose laughing at that.. im so sorry and I will be thinking about everyone down there to be ok and come out of it safely.
Cheeseburger paradise
Without even trying, Fetterman is cooler than Dr Oz.
You mean Fetterwoman. How do you feel about the "working class candidate" living at home off his parent's money until he was 49?
All he has to do is not have the friggin last name Oz!
that's a *very* low bar. i mean, trilobytes are cooler than oz.
I call him Dr Ooze 😝
@@couragekarnga8735 he doesn't. English doesn't respect other languages enough and leaves out the Umlaut
Super excited for the NASA nerds! My ex father in law was a NASA nerd, and designed a part for one of the Apollo missions.
The name tampon comes from the French tamponade, which is applying pressure.
It's taught in first aid training, and ambulances carry a type of tampon for use in bullet wounds or large stab wounds.
You don't want the scented kind.
*The NASA guys shoulda all sang "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!", together.*
Flash Ah Ah saviour of the Universe
Or Space Jam
@@JachAnen *The Space Jam Theme Song by Quad City DJ's? Nah, that's nowhere near as recognizable as "We Will Rock You" by Queen. Or as chant-able. haha*
@@Raixor You can just say the Space Jam theme song. No one is impressed.
Stomp stomp clap!
Seeing the NASA folks celebrate, I was like 'Yay! We hit a thing with another thing!'
Shouldn’t that have been a space force job :)
@@Ginric99 you are funny.
@@caru3257 well what else is it set up for if not to protect the world from Meteorites :)
“And won’t know if we actually did something until we look outside one morning and see a mushroom cloud on the horizon.”
If a 10 year old kid smashes something into another thing to see what happens... it's a kid being a kid. If the same 10 year old kid WRITES DOWN what happened.. It's SCIENCE.
That poor man in the writer's room bit had his hand up for a high-five and was left hanging. That is a unique pain and deserves a moment of silence.
The “sharpened tampon” got me 😂
My cousin lives in Florida, so I wish her and all Floridians stay safe and well. Meanwhile, are you sure DeSantis is still there? Maybe he flew to Martha's Vineyard already.
He's possibly in Mexico drinking with Ted Cruz.
Unlike Zelenski who said he needed ammunition, not transportation.
“Look at those happy nerds”
Coming from the man who ranted about LOTR on his last monologue, idk if Stephen can judge lol.
Real recognize real
it kinda bugs me that he's on the anti-intellectual bandwagon, if only the very edge of it. i kind of wish he'd celebrate nerdity a little more.
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 Clearly you've never seen him playing D&D with Matt Mercer =D
I'm watching this on my sailboat in Tampa Bay day after the storm. I'm happy I'll be around to see the hearings. Capt.Bob, SV ( Sailing Vessel) 27th Chance, Tampa Fl, USA 🇺🇸
The tampon thing has been known wisdom for a while. Both when I was an army medic and a civilian EMT, we always had tampons on hand for that.
I live in Alaska but I just donated to Fetterman’s campaign ✊🏽😂
First time humanity attempted to move another celestial body. Those nerds just ushered in a new age for our species. Thank you nerds.
I love how he still hands his imaginary props off camera to his assistant
Except Jon Batiste always had a little music cue, a pling etc with it. I miss these from the new Bandleader.
The conspiracy theories based those footages are going to be legendary
The fact that we got live (minus time delays for signal distance) shots of the impact impressed the heck out of me.
I mean, the camery couldn't exactly send the film later ^^°
I always wonder how they film things... kinda sus🤨
Thank you for being here for all these years!
He's one of the few people that have made all of the bad news bearable.
I really took to his show during the lockdowns.
The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love your decisions. ♡
"IS POTATO", is my new fave expression at home. Husband hates Stephen so he has no idea what I am talking about! I find it hysterical:))))
Is that why Marjorie Taylor Greene complains about tampons in the men's bathroom? Did she actually see it the russki malls?
I grew up in a mill town next to Fetterman's home mill town. He's a great guy & will see recreational cannabis legalized in PA. 🥰 He'll be taking ratpubliklan Toomy's seat. 🥳 Oz doesn't stand a chance. 😂
Not only will the tampons help a gunshot wound, they can go swimming, they can go horseback riding, they can play tennis. My wife never liked Colbert when he was on the daily show. I kept telling her he is a comedic genius and the funniest man on TV. Now she can't get enough of him. I have been married 48 years and this may be the first argument I have ever won. Nerds make the world go round. Imagine if that was the worlds military was used for?
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@@ElCapAddict When on the battlefield by yourself bleeding out, you don't have much time or many choices. I have the feeling the military is more experienced in these matters than you or I.
😂😂 ❤ the Venezuelan joke! I’m in FL., it’s kind of hard to get out of its path unless you fly far north and west.
Tampons to plug gunshot wounds is actually their original intended purpose. WWI nurses stared using them in the more popular modern fashion and that’s basically the whole story. So yeah, you can thank WWI for tampons.
Was not WWI was when they used boiling tar to stop bleeding?
@@rainbowprism6242 I’ve never heard of that. There were also different methods used by different countries in the war.
Oh shit, no way?
@@GusCraft460 I seem to remember that before certain warfare there was some medical myth that applying boiling tar before bandages would stop bleeding better. It was disproved by a medic who ran out of tar and had field confirmation that not applying scalding toxic mass would let wounds heal better. Not sure during which war it was happening.
It's still taught as first aid for certain injuries in bush survival and camping.
Likewise sanitary pads for larger wounds.
With all the terrible things going on in this world, the various wars, natural disasters, destruction of democracies, the dont worry darling press tour, and the big mac
Watching genuine joy from a truly impressive human achivement is just refreshing
Especially when said human achievement ultimately benefits the entirety of planet Earth, not merely humans. Massive meotoric impact is no joke.....look at the dinosaurs.
Dont you know russian government drafting convicted rapists and maniacs?
The TAMPON joke got me in Stitches!!!! LOL!!!
"Why can't we all get along?" statement from criminal but so true. Give peace a chance!
Maybe sacrificing a Florida governor to the hurricane gods will appease them and calm the storm. I'm an agnostic but it's worth a shot.
LOL
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
Why don't they just change the wind direction and make the storm go away.? I hear it can be done with just a sharpie™ and a map.
or just by pretending
Or … just THINKING it. You know, you can do that kind of thing when you’re president.
Fun fact about pads and tampons at war: They are dead serious and these should be in any serious first aid kit. Also, was a common part of a person first kit of American soliders during the Vietnam War. Wasn't suppied by the military - was supplied by writing home.
Priceless: tell DeSantis you're Venezuelan. Maybe he'll give you a free plane ride to Martha's Vineyard. 😂😂😂😂
I ❤️ and will always ❤️ these monologues. In 2 months, I hope things change for the better for 🌎 and for now I hope everyone in Florida is able to stay as safe as possible.
Comedy creativity and social commentary at it’s finest!
Stephen, you rock!
he does rock. it's comedy at its finest.
loved em on the Colbert report on the daily show he was brill
We love you, Stephen
I love Nasa and their excitement!!
I'm going to start quoting, "God, I've been shot!" everytime I get a tampon out now, thanks. 😂
My first LOL of the day. Thank you!
Funny!
Never forget They found a letter from Prince Charles to Camilla (while they were both married to other people) where he said he wanted to be her tampon. Classy people, those Brits..
🤣🤣🤣
That's going to get old real fast.
I escaped to Houston from Cape Coral on Sunday. RSW was packed and every single plane was 100% full! I really believe the vast majority of the population in Florida have done the right thing. Fingers crossed! Lynette
Told my friend she should evacuate. They decided to hunker down.
Nobody escapes from Cape Coma.
When I lived in Florida and a hurricane was coming I was terrified. I didn't have finances or any way to get to safety. Truly gut wrenching feeling to know there's no one there for you, nowhere to go and no way to get there.
My thoughts and prayers are with the people facing the storm and those whom have already dealt with Hurricane Ian, the Puerto Ricans and other Islanders. 🧸🥺 💙 💛
Good that you left when you did. I've been watching the projected storm surge levels--unless the trajectory changes significantly, a lot of people aren't going to have much to return to. My heart goes out to everyone affected!
No need to fly anybody anywhere. Just call in number 45 and give him a sharpie, 😄
Forgetting for a second its a tampon we're talking about - What's worse, being immediately told which supplies you need to aid if shot, or the fact that they have to buy these supplies THEMSELVES before being sent out
Soldier: (screaming in agony).
Melissa McCarthy: First gunshot wound? What caliber is it?
Soldier: (unintelligible groaning)
Melissa McCarthy: It's easy to find the right fit. If you are still bleeding out, go up a size. If it hurts to insert, at least you're still alive.
_Kotex. Trusted by combat veterans everywhere._
Navy Corpsmen are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention:
czcams.com/users/shortsCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
Nicer too if they're floral scented!
You don't insert kotex. You insert tampons.
So grateful to have made it this early to the monologue that makes the world go round. The proceedings can wait because the real hurricane comes for them after Wednesday
Lucky for you i saved it on youtube
Stephen is the best at everything ❤
Thanks for posting
Stephen never disappoints! Wonderful comedian and human being ❤!
he is a freemasonic tool that hates women
Hey Stephen, did your budget conk out at the couch level? Put some inspiring color on them walls and curtains dude! 🥰 😎 🎭 🧸🪅
Colbert comments were disgusting. Seriously? Ukraine people lost everything. Families lost everything. Children killed. and Colbert makes some stupid ass joke about Putin and his war not being productive? Seriously?
Stupid normie audience doesnt know whan to clap. What a f clown Stephan became.
The Paramount Plus plug KILLED ME! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dear Floridians (unless you're Ron or Donald), stay safe.
*or Matt!
@@IsoscelesKramer Darn it, I forgot PaedoMatt. Also NRA Marco.
Always awesome!!
The most important thing right now is that the US and Russia don't go to war. Caring about Ukraine is important but it's not the most important thing.
My heart is with those affected by Ian and Fiona. Please, if there's an evacuation order, get out of the storm's path. Also, DeSantis has forever supplied late night hosts with matterial with that cruel stunt he tried to pull.
Has much study been done on whether Putin is involved in the giant Venezuelan migrations through Mexico to the US? It’s likely that Putin is directly involved in creating the “border crisis” to further divide the US. And a good chance DeSantis and Abbott are intentionally working with that goal.
Try not, did.
Exposing the hypocrisy of so-called sanctuary cities by sending migrants to those nice, wealthy spots, rather than the ghetto is cruel?
This happens every day and you only care when it’s news
That’s not caring
He didn't try, he did it. Dirty Bastard!!!
Love Colbert! However, tampon / sanitary pads were originally made for wound care. Women in the military / female pilots used tampons to continue flying because women on their period were grounded. In short, tampons were invented for wound care, women used them to get around misogyny in the military. 🤷♀
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention:
czcams.com/users/shortsCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
The NASA thing is beyond belief. The world's greatest trick shot, done by math geeks.
6:34 the future of elections in Florida 😅
OMG, that sarcastic joke about asking DeSantis for a plane ride is hilarious.
So why do we need space force? Go NASA! 👍
The US Space Force (USSF) has assets in Earth orbit, looking inward, for early warning of attacks here on Earth and for gathering intelligence. NASA does the deep space stuff.
The US Air Force (USAF) used to do the stuff the USSF does, but Trump wanted to go down in the history books. It makes for more admin costs now, but if space access keeps, it would make sense for a separate USSF in the future. They won't focus outward until people out there on a semi-permanent basis.
DART is such an amazing accomplishment 👏 🙌. Should get a Guinness World record for longest shot projectile.
"Ivan In The Skysky." Brilliant!
One of the funniest men on tv
Marshall Faulk -- "one of"??! I protest, sir! 😉
Stephen’s monologues are always funny and entertaining, no exceptions.
It is. I enjoy his show a lot.
@@jjthek Ditto. 🙌🏻💙
Jimmy Fallon and James Corden pales in comparison. I remember when I came on to this channel, there was 3.7 million subscribers, now up to 8.97 million and I can admit a lot of it was because Trump got into office. Always have fun when Stephen made fun of the Orangeman for the past 5 years.
Meh
I prefer to Jay leno's old monologues.
As a Pittsburgher, Fetterman fits in way better than Oz ever will.
Reporting from the future exactly two months from now: the joke was a success! 🤣
As someone eligible for the draft, but with no funds to leave the country, the prospect is extremely terrifying. And then add on top of that seeing comments by Westerners (or governments of some neighboring countries) "just overthrow the government bro", more demoralizing than I thought. Just have to hope that it won't touch me and I don't get called up.
I can't even be confident about hiding because there's nowhere to hide if you don't know people
My heart goes out to you man. May you stay safe in all this.
Good luck
Sorry to hear that. Shitty situation for so many russians. A lot of westerns know that it's not that easy. I have the deepest respect for any russian who actually protests these days. I don't know if I would be so brave. I hope you can avoid the draft.
This Westerner wishes you the best of luck!
We feel for you. Sorry your leaders are so absolutely horrible. Wish there were a better solution for it all for you.
Actually Stephen, while researching a military romance, I interviewed a former paramedic, who recommended my lead character grab some tampons and pads off the shelves at the convenience store where their love interest lay, bleeding profusely. She attributed the saving of many lives to tampons.
Then the Russian military should issue tampons to their troops instead of telling them to ask their families to provide them.
People don't understand what's really valuable any more. You can get a crate of pads and pons for like 250$ a CRATE. Like a full ass 5 foot cube shipping crate. 28 days following a supply chain interruption of any kind, that crate is now priceless and no matter what you might need, those pads and pons will afford it for you. Only thing more valuable is water, cannabis, and the means to distill alcohol if things get real bad.
While I was training for CLS (Combat Life Saver) in the Army, the medic giving the class said to do the same thing. He'd seen combat and used this tactic. I've never forgotten it.
Excellent advice, I believe it’s mentioned in most First Aid guides.
i mean tampons were originally invented in WWI, specifically for gunshots, they just happened to also work for a different but similar purpose for women.
then the yin to that yang, wristwatches were invented for women because they didn't have pockets for pocket watches, but fumbling around with one in a trench while you're getting shot at is a pain in the ass so easier just to get it strapped to your wrist. Fair trade all round i'd say
When my son was a scout the Troop collected things to send to US soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. We were given a list of what the soldiers had asked for. Among the items were tampons, because they were just the right size to plug a bullet wound. It's not just the Russian army that uses them for that purpose.
“Look at those happy nerds!” 😂💛