T**** Confuses Hannity With Wild Mar-a-Lago Excuses | Breaking Squirrel News
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- čas přidán 23. 04. 2024
- An appeals court obliterated the former president's defense in his classified documents case, and even Sean Hannity was confused when T**** rattled off conspiracy theories in an attempt to change the subject. Also, if you're working from home right now, it's a good idea to check your house for squirrels. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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If you're not embarrassed by the fact that this man was once the President of the United States, you haven't been listening
Sleepy Joe is the epitemy of embarrasment in this country for his disatrous inflation & ruiining of country.
Nice try deep state. We know this is an npc
@Leonaza7 deff have to have your back on this one.
I'm more than embarrassed; I'm speechless!
I'm horrified and grieve at the damage he has wrought.
The person that came up with The Count of Mostly Crisco deserves every good thing in the world.
100% agree....
left me dead, quite literally...
was laughing and the distraction got me killed in my game XD
Who ever did write that deserves a big raise
that was greatness - damn near spewed my tea!!
You shouldn't talk that way about Dear Leader, don't you know he's the Second Coming of Shitstain Crust? Next time you see a nasty one all dried out in your drawers because you only shower twice a month, SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!
The best😂
Not just embarrassed, but super ashamed that he was once the president.
When Life Gets You Down, Put on an old Stephen Colbert clip, to make you Smile. Great Writing, Great Graphics, Great Delivery, Great Team
"I declassified everything" Well we know that's a lie, he never declassified his taxes.
But but but it's in permanent audit!🤣
Truth!
Or his school 🏫 grades 🤓; stable genius 😂
Also the numerous lawsuits and paid off porn-stars might beg to differ...
He declassified everything......OK so let's the ppl read the taxes records the school grades the evidence from the russia probe and all the NDA's
Sometimes when I think he can’t be that stupid or brazenly criminal, he gets stupider and more brazen with his crimes
I almost feel sorry for his lawyers.
@@couragekarnga8735 The smart ones bailed already. That's why his current ones were picked up from off the freeway.
@@SRowntree from the off ramp at Compton ?
IKR? You think he can't top himself and then he DOES.
I think his loyal cult followers are even stupider and more brazen with their crimes. They took one look at this Orange Dumpster Fire of a garbage human being who constantly swindled them out of their money and actively tried to destroy his own country and STILL go, "Yep! That's my man for 2024!"
Watching this is sooooo much more effective than cognitive therapy. SOOOOO MUCH BETTER.
A real, real Airhead and REAL Embarrassment to the most powerful Nation on Earth. How did this happen? When I saw him for the first time and after I Heard him, my first thought was...Is this a JOKE? Is this for real? I will totally celebrate ALL the way when he's indicted and thrown in jail!!!!
I feel like l am in an alternate universe😔
*"When you're the president, they let you do it. You can do anything. Declassify documents by thought. You can do anything."*
Sounds just like where we started years ago. "When you are a star? You can do anything. You can grab them by the pu**y and they just let you do it"
Yeah, including grabbing women by the…
Well played!
You know I can Wiggle my NOSE and become 50 Years Younger!!! I'm Sure he can't do that!🤣😂💃
@@latinaintexas2872 Noice. When I scratch my ass, I get super strength. Super strength is awesome and all, but it doesn't mean much once you turn 70. I'm a long time away from that, however I also increase in age when I blink!
Daily Reminder: When President Obama left office he went windsurfing. When Trump left office he went to court. VOTE
Eight years of Obama, no indictments or convictions. ZERO. Four years of T-Rump? Lost count at a hundred.
I will, I promise.
pretty sure Trump went to play golf. But okay...
Yes the almighty Obama Trump came in and cleaned up all of his messes turn this country around and Joe took over now look at it
@@pierreclifton1865 and cheated.
I am so thankful for people like Stephen Colbert.
Mr Colbert, you made the last years of Donald Trump and covid bearable. Without your humor and ability to make us laugh we couldn't have made or continue to make it through. So,Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So now he thinks the FBI was looking for Hillary’s emails…at Mara Lago??? Seriously?
Then trump
Stole Hilary’s email or maybe he was the one stealing Hilary’s email 😂😂
Yes, her emails were under the welcome mat.
It's all projection, distraction and deflection at this point. A whole gish gallup streaming firehose of nonstop nonsense to confuse and whip up his braindead base with a kabuki theater performance of feigned perpetual victimhood. Donnie Deutschbag is desperate and has nothing left but lies to dish out.
He seemed to be trying to sort out a new whopper to tell on the spot. 😆
He said it for a simple reason--it's always worked for him in the past. Not just in the 2016 election, but remember the "Surrender Summit" with Putin? He doesn't understand why it worked for him then, he just knows it did. So why not try it now?
Whoever came up with the “Count of Mostly Crisco is a genius.”
Thank you my son came up with that you six
What does it mean?
@@vickywitton1008 It's a lard play on the famous story, "The Count of Monte Cristo."
@@marthareis5873 see what you did there ,........ clever!
Man I hollered
Stephen always knows how to deliver news.
This is one of the best monologues ever! ❤️👍🏻
The count of mostly crisco made me heave I was laughing so fucking hard. I wasn't ready! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
These names are getting more creative!
Treason Cerebro and Orange mission impossible killed it.
Too funny!
Me too, out of all names for the TFG, this is way up there most hilariously creative 😂
🎃😂🤣🌝
So I guess the only secret documents left are his tax returns. 🙄
Nope, the prosecution got those a year or so ago. I'm guessing they played into the charges and may result in indictments on federal charges.
I think that they are just not allowed to be public yet.
Good one!
Biden should declassify them with his mind!
Mazars delivered them up after extracting themselves from the orange turd's employ.
It's about time real legal minds got it right.
"Filet-o-fish smothered in ketchup" 😂😂😂😂
“The banks should have known I was a liar.”
So should every American who voted for him.
It doesnt help when you lecture people. Leave it be. Some people grew up different, were desperate for change, & were conned. You’re just adding to the anger & divisiveness. The problems lay at the top, not the bottom where we are. FYI: No I didn’t vote for Trump. I was a Democrat my whole life, until they sold us out by supporting the wishes of the billionaires over us.
We NEED to recognize we’re all Americans… human beings, & look for common ground.
Oh, they know. They just won't admit they got fooled. Don the Con has made his living fooling people. So, you got fooled. That should piss you off enough to realize you need to pay more attention going forward. But instead, they double down. I'll never understand.
They knew and still voted him in.
Stop me before I borrow again.
@@raysun6617 They didn’t all know. Get around the country much? Have you asked them all? I’ve gotten around the country quite a bit. Sure, there’s a portion of his followers who are racists bigots. They’re not all though. I’ve grown up around overt racism.
My point is, how do your words contribute to lessening the divide?
"I think they took my will....." Anyone else hoping he was going to finish that sentence with "to live"?
Oh, great minds think alike!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
completely.
😂😂😂 Yes!! 😂😂😂
😂
It's really a shame what he's done to the position
Someone please rescue that poor squirrel 🤣🤣🤣
If Trump declassified "everything" then he declassified Hillary's emails. 🤣
I wish he would DECLASSIFY HIS PATHETIC EXISTENCE.
Bazinga!
Oh I like that one!🤣😂
Ba-dum tish!
Except it was proven she didn't have any classified info.
Count of Mostly Crisco. Who ever came up with that one deserves a raise. You are in your monologue and I am still giggling about this one. Time to rewind
It's from Twitter. Not from the staff.
Earlier tonight I heard Michael cohen call it Mara-lardo. So mostly Crisco had me roaring .
@@o.b.7217 well find out who their employer is & call them. they deserve a raise ^^
I have a new favourite 🤣🤣🤣
Give him a double raise!
This is the best one Steve 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A flawless performance! Johnny Carson would concede the throne! Thank you to Colbert and his writers for this MASTERPIECE
I know your type. The kind who if you hand them shot they think its perfume. Colbert is a wannabee, a disgusting left wing propagandist. Carson would piss on him.
What are you smoking?
Colbert is a snot. You are a bot.
@@JohnWarner-lu8rq It's stood the test of time, John.... 😉
@@bwenluck9812 Yeah.... BS has been around for quite some time.
It's like watching a five year old make up the rules to a game as he is playing it.
tRump's been doing that his whole life. Doh. 🤪
That's how he thinks every minute. He just pops off what his pea brain is "thinking" at that moment. The drugs aren't helping.
Exactly
Calvinball!
@@bobrisse9823 You beat me to it! 😂
The former disgrace in chief does this every time he's in trouble. He throws out every excuse he can think of even if those excuses contradict each other. "They raided my home and took my documents...I didn't take any documents....those documents were planted by the FBI...those documents were never classified....I declassified them all magically when I took them....also those documents were clothes..."
It's called DELAY!
Trump tactic on display.
Capitalism, the media, US justice, evangelicals, and MAGAS have fucked US and the world up.
MAGAS, evangelicals, the media, US courts, and corporatism at this point truly do not understand REAL AMERICANS!
We despise your MAGA, fake Christian, and media asses; your republican reps are on the wrong side.
Republicans (liars, cheaters, and thieves) are dinosaurs; let them rot in their own infernal bigotry.
US will be there for ALL of US no matter what shenanigans any MAGA, US court, evangelical meat head, or media talking head spouts.
TRUMP was not your savior; he brought out all the hatred, bigotry, and greed republicans have to offer US and MAGAS, evangelical meat heads, or media talking heads failed to deliver anything but hate, bigotry, and greed!
The progeny of US are already facing a world of grief.
I encourage US to remember that republicans have not voted for any legislation that would protect US, our progeny, or the world.
Do not vote “R”.
US and “Homie” don't play that game!
Colbert's analogy to scattershot and fridge magnets is quite apt, or Neil deGrasse Tyson's quote "It becomes truth, simply because it got repeated so many times."
Another thing he said to Hannity was that after magacally declassifying document, that he sent them *everywhere*
I almost feel sorry for his lawyers for their jeopardy.
It's rather amusing that in court, his lawyers are quite surprised at being asked the most obvious questions.
Reminds me of a sketch Key & Peele did, called "Rap Album Confessions"
Word salad…common trait of the personality disorder.
“Such sock”😂
Spot on!
Stepdad who ran over the hamster... 🤣
Thanks for the laughs, Stephen, you really had a field day (and we did as well)!
By far the Best, and Super Funny monologue Ever. ❤
I'm not celebrating until I see concrete results.
A man who makes anyone who works with him sign an NDA, probably has a vague idea of how illegal this is.
Nah, that's just about his actual finger lengths.
There are legitimate uses for NDA. His were less than admirable. I will NOT dispute that part.
Always remember that an NDA is immediately invalid when any crime is involved.
Trump is guilty AF !
To be fair, NDAs are also used for things like movie or government contracts. But if the NDA is in a legal contract, yeah that's pretty shady.
What a brilliant monolog. Congratulations to everyone who contributed to it.
- 'Congrats' to the Don !!!!!!!!!
yeah i wonder if he will say the same for Biden considering he has classified documents in his garage and was never a president.
@@santiagohaas7439D John.
I love you!!!! :) You deserve an award for this episode. OMG! Someone arrest him already!
Just...incredible. Every time you think he can't sink any lower he breaks out the jackhammer and screams "I NEED A NEW SUB-BASEMENT!"
Hands the jackhammer to a contractor, whom he never pays.
And then refuses to pay the contractors!
Joe's old you know they can't leave him alone you shouldn't make fun of old people someday we'll all be there hopefully
@@danmcgriff1421 What are you even rambling about?
@@johnhipp8267 I think he is trying to treat the OP as if he/she was referring to Biden instead of Agent Orange. Just another deflection and a failed attempt at a "gotcha" quip.
A troll or self-deluded fool, either way Dan Mcgriff is best ignored.
The funny thing in all this, is that someone at Fox thought it was a good idea to air that. 🤣
All for the base!
@@couragekarnga8735 IKR🤣
The base of red hats will parrot it forever
I fear the base will still see him as innocent. Their stupidity is frightening
They know their audience will take whatever bullcrap he spits out as law and gospel.
Omg the squirrel 🐿 😂😂😂 This was a great monologue!
"Much Clothing! Many shirt. VERY PANT. Much Sock." XD Doge is Proud of Colbert, Memeing like a boss.
Everyone seems to have missed it, he also admitted that there are documents in his other properties. That needs attention right now!
Your absolutely right! 🎯 #45 actually admitted on national tv that he took those classified documents from the WH! 👏🏾👏🏾 This man is a habitual liar and maniac! 🙄🤷🏾♀️
Good to know!
Mayhaps buried near the first hole ay Bedminster?
There’s even a video of him moving boxes onto a plane to take them to his other property. 😱 imagine that!
Joy Reid did a show on that line last night.
"45" was "thinking about" declassifying each document as he was holding them out to be photographed by foreign buyers?
Or extorting Macron
The fact he had that bat waiting as if he had a run in with the squirrel before made it even funnier 🐿️ 😂
Amazing show ! Thank you Mr.Stephen Colbert
"Okay, Mr. President. So you're saying you saw the documents, magically de-classified them ... and THEN you stole them?"
The Squirrel's are in 45's head, and they have rabies.
Which really sucks, 'cause I'm sure he's got cyphylus.
It's the other way around, the squirrels are terrified and T-Rump has rabies.
N tRump is the one who gave those poor squirrels Rabies too..
This was brilliant. I laughed my ass off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I almost peed from laughing at the screaming squirrel guy.
Omfg the count of mostly crisco…A++++++ that was chefs kiss perfect!
5:48 He must have confused the presidency with an absolute monarchy. And even then people can't act on the monarch's thoughts.
Thank you Steven and Staff for the laughs early in the morning! Love ya!
I have watched this over 10 times & it seems new each time & I scream laughing each time!
"Sean comes preconfused!"
That one made me bust out laughing. "The Count of mostly Crisco"
best nickname yet
I kinda liked _the flabrador deceiver_
@@ttacking_you tangerine dream was good to
@@akaiclone02 then, of course, there's the P.O.S.otus (Kimmel)
I watched this a few times, laughed hard on each watch.... Stephen is beyond hilarious 😂
"Martha My Dear" at the end was awesome. Cheers TLSB 😁👍
"I declassified it with my mind" ~ The Tangerine Wizard of Mar-o-Lago
"There is nothing either classified nor declassified but thinking makes it so." ~Donald Shakespeare
Be classified or not be classified, that is the question!
🤣😂🤣😂
A document, declassified would read as sweet.
Love the nickname
He confused Hannity, when Hannity already comes pre-confused! 🤣🤣🤣
{:o:O:}
Thank you Stephen. Comic gold. Could we have possibly had a dumber president. I mean really? I doubt it.
And more criminal president? I doubt that, too.
I don’t know. If anything TFG has taught me is my imagination does not go far enough. Just when I think it’s reached the edge he proves me wrong. I’ve read (a few times) and studied the Inferno and Paradise Lost at a collegiate level. Didn’t really fathom how far down that really went.
But that means we could have dumber and more criminal possibilities. He might be the worst now, but what I thought was the worst before him, he proved me wrong. Until now, none more dumb or criminal. However, can it go worse? Didn’t think so before, but now maybe possibly….
Let's all pray it doesn't get worse that Trump. @@jeremycurtis2334
This judge Cannon now has huge egg on her face. How would anyone have any confidence in any of her rulings or judgements from today? She can thank the chump for destroying her short lived reputation and career though.
She did this to herself she knew exactly what she was doing.
Het judgments are like the Star Wars novels - not Cannon.
She’s in a for life position.
Until and unless she’s impeached, there’s zero reason for her to feel regret for acting like his puppet.
@@pickledragonrebel Trump appointed her to be a judge from a list provided by the far-right-wing Federalist Society. Yes, she knew what she was doing - and will likely continue doing it.
She should be disbarred
A man who pleads the Fifth 400 times might as well admit he’s guilty and save everyone some time. 😅❤😅
We are going to be absolutely disappointed by the final outcome.
This is absolute gold. I keep coming back for more laughs. Thanks be to Quob for giving us the Dontard.
“The Count of Mostly Crisco!” Bravo, that made me laugh out loud! 👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣
That Trump photo with that outfit made me hit the floor dead with laughter.
Don’t worry. That cable is rated to hold 50 tons.
Need to bleach my eyes
Someone's using their photomanip skills into good use 😆
Baby got back indeed 😂
The guy should have looked like a blimp. They photoshopped him too generously
"Stephen.... Much Love from the UK!!.....I LOVE your sense of humour!!. I thought our politics here in Britain was nuts!!!. Thanks for making me Laugh so much, i nearly wet myself!!!".
Being able to replicate that man's screaming was icing on a cake.
WTF?
Your phrases about the “much clothing “ had me crying😂
"such socks." 🤣
They act like biden is incoherent. 🤣 Of course he does have that...a big brain. 🧠
@@customer5032 Wow
Stephen's monologue was on fire! He roasted every single one of those excuses to perfection.
💯🤣
Yes he did! This is viral content! Well all his material is viral really but this deserves virality!
It’s too bad his best monologues are the ones making fun of Trump.
@@Nate-.- what? Just saying it would be nice if Trump just went away and we rarely heard about him again in the monologues.
The comparison of Judge Cannon to the girl from the Ring movies KILLED ME!
Stephen, you and your team keep getting better and better. Thank you for the laughs. I also caught that Rodney Dangerfield shoulder shrug, it made me think how he would throw all this bs into his acts. Keep them coming?
You don't have to be partisan to cringe at how he acts. He's like 77 years old, my 17 year old daughter acts more mature than this dude. And to think, that there's actually people that defend him, still.
I love how they are still sharing creative names generated by Twitter users. All these names later and they still get a lot of laughs.
When the nightmare is over, there needs to be a GIGANTIC mural with every name used, in order. The tourism would make whatever town it's in into a new Vegas.
I like using them too. anything to keep that dirty fkers' name out of my mouth
I think you can still suggest names on Twitter using the hashtag #HeWhoShallBeNamed and #Colbert etc. I've already forgotten what mine were as it was so long ago lol.
I wanted to submit "Eric's Dad" but someone beat me to it. Ah well.
The Count of Mostly Crisco is really one of the best ones yet!
The Count of mostly Crisco had me laughing far more than it should have. Probably one of the best you've picked!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
OKR?!! 😂😂
Laughter is the best medicine. It's so sad the American people are going through this craziness with Trump. Keep the laughs coming❤
We miss you so much!!!!!
Thank you for everything, Stephen. And to the unspoken heroes of your crew too!
the crew that insisted in the capitol on jan 6???
@@victorarredondo304 Trumpanzees are camping out on Late Show videos waiting to screech
I anticipated this, and was not disappointed! Love ya, SC!
@@victorarredondo304 dude, spell check.
Colbert is a commiecrat just like the rest of the Hollywood trash.
"The Count of Mostly Crisco!!" Hilarious!🤣
Glad to have you back, writers
Yeah, that quote just makes him crazy.
"The Count of mostly Crisco". One of the best so far! Thank you, Steven Fans!
It is good to see that some judges wants to keep their law licenses...
Ya and so they do what the democrats tell them
@@jeremybenoit759 Trump could try not lying and committing crimes. He'd be better off.
@@jeremybenoit759 you hate the law dont ya
@@jeremybenoit759 Yeah they should do what the criminal wants them to do!
@@jeremybenoit759 supporting treason isn't a good look, but go off.
The Count of Mostly Crisco....down in Mar a Lardo
You really are great..thanks for the laugh....a person whom speaks the truth....you got my vote...Press....Keep it up.....
The dude has a bat ready and was skittish at every small noise, I believe him when he said he was terrorised by squirrels beforehand.
You know who has been taken out of action by squirrels?!
Thanos 😱
Has he tried eating them? Their meat is delicious in stews. Both squirrels and rabbits are scarce in my backyard now... ☹️
Bonus points: every single one of Mar-a-Lardo's inner circle, including his son, his in-laws, and his other son he forgot existed, all rose up to defend him on the usual spots. They all must be kicking themselves when they saw him go on Fox to practically admit that he's a liar.
MINDFREAK!! He thought he’d still be president after the election while he was president so he still is president because he thinks he is.
They've never seemed to regret all the other times he's blustered out an admission of guilt
All the in-laws are watching their future alimony go up in flames. How depressing it must be to find out the lying pigs you've been sleeping with for their money are about to be bankrupt. Yes ladies, you sold yourselves for nothing. They're all going to end up destitute, unemployed and unemployable. 🤣 🤣
This seems like one of those times where the inlaws are also outlaws.
One can only hope they are . . And that will lead to rethinking all their life choices
I'm here for 'Merica Season 2. Hello from Scotland.
#independenceisrecovery 🏴
the COUNT OF MONTI CRISCO!!
omg! I love it...
excuse me --> MOSTLY CRISCO
So King Baby Coward's excuse is "I am a Jedi"? Oh yeah, that will fly in federal court.
It would have if Barr were AG.
@@couragekarnga8735 sadly that's the truth.
He pleads the Sith
@@chrisleebowers why can't I upvote a comment more than once!? Laughed my ass off to that one! Thank you!
DIdn't you know? T***p appointed all the best people to the federal bench! "The trekkies, we love the trekkies and their force. It's the biggest, hardest force ever in terms of forcing. As the Wolverine said to Superman, 'May the force live prosperously and long live trek.' I'm ... did you know this, I was the first person to think of the wars in the stars, those stars having wars? It was all me, and yet the socialist woke people want to keep me out of Valhalla like any good Jet-Guy...Jenga... Jello... Jet-Puffed.... man, woman, person, camera, TV."
"The former president then used his "mind" to make dumb words come out of his stupid mouth." 😆🤣😂
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... 🤓👋 🤣
Stephen was being polite, as ever. It wasn't has mouth.
Yeah he did classify everything except the JFK documents that were due to be Declassified of. With no logical explanation either
He also use this "mind" to declassify by "just thinking" ...His mother must have tried to repeatedly restrain his so called "mind" for the good and betterment of mankind and it's own officialdom having been obscured by this foggy fellow and his beloved "mind over matter" jousts with curious onlookers who find him fascinating to bear such a resemblance to apes who have regained their rhythm as workers he molests with his remarkable large orange cranium and puts them"on the spot" for having dealt it out like one of his $5.00 prime rib dinners to further than evaluate the war between various humans who are far more worried that apes are more intelligent than they might appear ...
@@davidwright8432 What? Guess you got something caught in your mouth.
“…Treason Cerebro.” 💯💯🤣😬😳😱
Way too funny! Brilliance at its best. I can do everything (declassify) with just my mind: My Unfavorite Martian👽This is one of the best monologues I have ever seen. Talent way beyond AGT. Stephen is on a roll here. No one can outdo this most brilliant performance. 🎊🏆
The former guy is absolutely creepy insane and crazy but what I find more creepy and scary and it just frightens me everyday is that there are people who follow this guy and everything he says every word he says most people believe it I'll just never understand how can anybody think that this is okay the former guy is a bad man and he needs to be held accountable and thrown in prison.
Cultism and Stockholm's syndrome are real.
which is why he needs to live a long long time, to complete his sentences, consecutively, in a nice padded windowless room.
Yep and now besides thinking he’s the second coming, they also now think he is a magician!
Sounds like you're going to cry are you okay if you need to talk I'm here for you it's going to be okay
My mom loves him because Trump is openly racist. Prob most of his followers are the same.
Love your delivery on abysmal news. It’s needed in these times.
His news is the same s... as the communist news network
I love that he can make me laugh about Trump. Thanks Stephen!
My boss is from the UK... He said "If you or I would have done this, we would be drinking water upside-down for a living."
"The Count of Mostly Crisco", I believe that's one of my favorites so far. Stephen Colbert has helped me through these extremely trying times. His wit, charm, compassion and empathy are only a handful of what makes him such a decent and moral man. Not to mention I can't stop laughing every time I watch him. Big love for him.🤣😘❤
Stephen and this crew always knock the monologue out of the park.
Jon Stewart is still the GOAT
bot
Yes they do...thankfully! I have to get my politics from comedy or I would probably cry. lol
TONIGHT WAS THE BEST OF ALL TIME!!
Someone knocked his ear out of the park. 😂😂😂
That was Excellent!!!
"declassified everything"
So we can finally see those Taxes?