T**** Confuses Hannity With Wild Mar-a-Lago Excuses | Breaking Squirrel News

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  • čas přidán 23. 04. 2024
  • An appeals court obliterated the former president's defense in his classified documents case, and even Sean Hannity was confused when T**** rattled off conspiracy theories in an attempt to change the subject. Also, if you're working from home right now, it's a good idea to check your house for squirrels. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Komentáře • 8K

  • @Leonaza7
    @Leonaza7 Před rokem +8765

    If you're not embarrassed by the fact that this man was once the President of the United States, you haven't been listening

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 Před rokem

      Sleepy Joe is the epitemy of embarrasment in this country for his disatrous inflation & ruiining of country.

    • @95jpeat
      @95jpeat Před rokem

      Nice try deep state. We know this is an npc

    • @nugboy420
      @nugboy420 Před rokem +235

      @Leonaza7 deff have to have your back on this one.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +409

      I'm more than embarrassed; I'm speechless!

    • @lindakautzman7388
      @lindakautzman7388 Před rokem +459

      I'm horrified and grieve at the damage he has wrought.

  • @CarlosMensuckass
    @CarlosMensuckass Před rokem +2420

    The person that came up with The Count of Mostly Crisco deserves every good thing in the world.

    • @abigails4088
      @abigails4088 Před rokem +72

      100% agree....
      left me dead, quite literally...
      was laughing and the distraction got me killed in my game XD

    • @zazaranger5
      @zazaranger5 Před rokem +55

      Who ever did write that deserves a big raise

    • @pamevans8001
      @pamevans8001 Před rokem +41

      that was greatness - damn near spewed my tea!!

    • @johnsmithe4656
      @johnsmithe4656 Před rokem

      You shouldn't talk that way about Dear Leader, don't you know he's the Second Coming of Shitstain Crust? Next time you see a nasty one all dried out in your drawers because you only shower twice a month, SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!

    • @mk1st
      @mk1st Před rokem +20

      The best😂

  • @bolabintu8709
    @bolabintu8709 Před rokem +32

    Not just embarrassed, but super ashamed that he was once the president.

  • @terrancekayton007
    @terrancekayton007 Před rokem +10

    When Life Gets You Down, Put on an old Stephen Colbert clip, to make you Smile. Great Writing, Great Graphics, Great Delivery, Great Team

  • @Aluhcav
    @Aluhcav Před rokem +782

    "I declassified everything" Well we know that's a lie, he never declassified his taxes.

    • @goahead3995
      @goahead3995 Před rokem +36

      But but but it's in permanent audit!🤣

    • @ideagirl
      @ideagirl Před rokem +6

      Truth!

    • @lookissjaxin
      @lookissjaxin Před rokem +25

      Or his school 🏫 grades 🤓; stable genius 😂

    • @alaric_
      @alaric_ Před rokem

      Also the numerous lawsuits and paid off porn-stars might beg to differ...

    • @rosehill9537
      @rosehill9537 Před rokem

      He declassified everything......OK so let's the ppl read the taxes records the school grades the evidence from the russia probe and all the NDA's

  • @ChainReactionsProductions
    @ChainReactionsProductions Před rokem +1010

    Sometimes when I think he can’t be that stupid or brazenly criminal, he gets stupider and more brazen with his crimes

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +21

      I almost feel sorry for his lawyers.

    • @SRowntree
      @SRowntree Před rokem +50

      @@couragekarnga8735 The smart ones bailed already. That's why his current ones were picked up from off the freeway.

    • @lindaleelaw5277
      @lindaleelaw5277 Před rokem +9

      @@SRowntree from the off ramp at Compton ?

    • @atiredfloridian777
      @atiredfloridian777 Před rokem +20

      IKR? You think he can't top himself and then he DOES.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +2

      I think his loyal cult followers are even stupider and more brazen with their crimes. They took one look at this Orange Dumpster Fire of a garbage human being who constantly swindled them out of their money and actively tried to destroy his own country and STILL go, "Yep! That's my man for 2024!"

  • @kateskeys
    @kateskeys Před rokem +23

    Watching this is sooooo much more effective than cognitive therapy. SOOOOO MUCH BETTER.

  • @cesarregalado3420
    @cesarregalado3420 Před rokem +13

    A real, real Airhead and REAL Embarrassment to the most powerful Nation on Earth. How did this happen? When I saw him for the first time and after I Heard him, my first thought was...Is this a JOKE? Is this for real? I will totally celebrate ALL the way when he's indicted and thrown in jail!!!!

    • @mammawlee
      @mammawlee Před 2 měsíci

      I feel like l am in an alternate universe😔

  • @o.b.7217
    @o.b.7217 Před rokem +254

    *"When you're the president, they let you do it. You can do anything. Declassify documents by thought. You can do anything."*

    • @c.l.freeman7654
      @c.l.freeman7654 Před rokem

      Sounds just like where we started years ago. "When you are a star? You can do anything. You can grab them by the pu**y and they just let you do it"

    • @KatKrueger
      @KatKrueger Před rokem +25

      Yeah, including grabbing women by the…

    • @donaldbabbitt1214
      @donaldbabbitt1214 Před rokem +1

      Well played!

    • @latinaintexas2872
      @latinaintexas2872 Před rokem

      You know I can Wiggle my NOSE and become 50 Years Younger!!! I'm Sure he can't do that!🤣😂💃

    • @kingjamos2422
      @kingjamos2422 Před rokem

      @@latinaintexas2872 Noice. When I scratch my ass, I get super strength. Super strength is awesome and all, but it doesn't mean much once you turn 70. I'm a long time away from that, however I also increase in age when I blink!

  • @auntiepha8343
    @auntiepha8343 Před rokem +709

    Daily Reminder: When President Obama left office he went windsurfing. When Trump left office he went to court. VOTE

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Před rokem +69

      Eight years of Obama, no indictments or convictions. ZERO. Four years of T-Rump? Lost count at a hundred.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +8

      I will, I promise.

    • @pierreclifton1865
      @pierreclifton1865 Před rokem +3

      pretty sure Trump went to play golf. But okay...

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Před rokem

      Yes the almighty Obama Trump came in and cleaned up all of his messes turn this country around and Joe took over now look at it

    • @edmundooliver7584
      @edmundooliver7584 Před rokem +24

      @@pierreclifton1865 and cheated.

  • @cindyharris3156
    @cindyharris3156 Před rokem +4

    I am so thankful for people like Stephen Colbert.

  • @rebelbelle62
    @rebelbelle62 Před 5 měsíci +12

    Mr Colbert, you made the last years of Donald Trump and covid bearable. Without your humor and ability to make us laugh we couldn't have made or continue to make it through. So,Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  • @dozzer009
    @dozzer009 Před rokem +426

    So now he thinks the FBI was looking for Hillary’s emails…at Mara Lago??? Seriously?

    • @fzghbkhvgfhhgv3524
      @fzghbkhvgfhhgv3524 Před rokem +37

      Then trump
      Stole Hilary’s email or maybe he was the one stealing Hilary’s email 😂😂

    • @kenotube3160
      @kenotube3160 Před rokem +28

      Yes, her emails were under the welcome mat.

    • @arcturionblade1077
      @arcturionblade1077 Před rokem

      It's all projection, distraction and deflection at this point. A whole gish gallup streaming firehose of nonstop nonsense to confuse and whip up his braindead base with a kabuki theater performance of feigned perpetual victimhood. Donnie Deutschbag is desperate and has nothing left but lies to dish out.

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 Před rokem +30

      He seemed to be trying to sort out a new whopper to tell on the spot. 😆

    • @gloomyblackfur399
      @gloomyblackfur399 Před rokem

      He said it for a simple reason--it's always worked for him in the past. Not just in the 2016 election, but remember the "Surrender Summit" with Putin? He doesn't understand why it worked for him then, he just knows it did. So why not try it now?

  • @LooseNut099
    @LooseNut099 Před rokem +233

    Whoever came up with the “Count of Mostly Crisco is a genius.”

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Před rokem +3

      Thank you my son came up with that you six

    • @vickywitton1008
      @vickywitton1008 Před rokem +1

      What does it mean?

    • @marthareis5873
      @marthareis5873 Před rokem +10

      @@vickywitton1008 It's a lard play on the famous story, "The Count of Monte Cristo."

    • @anderjpoo
      @anderjpoo Před rokem +3

      @@marthareis5873 see what you did there ,........ clever!

    • @ZenFrequency111
      @ZenFrequency111 Před rokem +2

      Man I hollered

  • @cpmrealty
    @cpmrealty Před 6 měsíci +9

    Stephen always knows how to deliver news.

  • @lisab9541
    @lisab9541 Před 5 měsíci +4

    This is one of the best monologues ever! ❤️👍🏻

  • @phantomchef2217
    @phantomchef2217 Před rokem +315

    The count of mostly crisco made me heave I was laughing so fucking hard. I wasn't ready! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @scottmwilhelms2437
    @scottmwilhelms2437 Před rokem +619

    So I guess the only secret documents left are his tax returns. 🙄

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Před rokem +19

      Nope, the prosecution got those a year or so ago. I'm guessing they played into the charges and may result in indictments on federal charges.

    • @TheLemon333
      @TheLemon333 Před rokem +9

      I think that they are just not allowed to be public yet.

    • @dingobat2389
      @dingobat2389 Před rokem +3

      Good one!

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem

      Biden should declassify them with his mind!

    • @thisbushnell2012
      @thisbushnell2012 Před rokem

      Mazars delivered them up after extracting themselves from the orange turd's employ.

  • @LavonYoung1
    @LavonYoung1 Před rokem +6

    It's about time real legal minds got it right.

  • @pamelaibarra790
    @pamelaibarra790 Před rokem +7

    "Filet-o-fish smothered in ketchup" 😂😂😂😂

  • @ERAforALL
    @ERAforALL Před rokem +612

    “The banks should have known I was a liar.”
    So should every American who voted for him.

    • @dshepherd107
      @dshepherd107 Před rokem +11

      It doesnt help when you lecture people. Leave it be. Some people grew up different, were desperate for change, & were conned. You’re just adding to the anger & divisiveness. The problems lay at the top, not the bottom where we are. FYI: No I didn’t vote for Trump. I was a Democrat my whole life, until they sold us out by supporting the wishes of the billionaires over us.
      We NEED to recognize we’re all Americans… human beings, & look for common ground.

    • @maryfields1382
      @maryfields1382 Před rokem

      Oh, they know. They just won't admit they got fooled. Don the Con has made his living fooling people. So, you got fooled. That should piss you off enough to realize you need to pay more attention going forward. But instead, they double down. I'll never understand.

    • @raysun6617
      @raysun6617 Před rokem +27

      They knew and still voted him in.

    • @steelers6titles
      @steelers6titles Před rokem +9

      Stop me before I borrow again.

    • @dshepherd107
      @dshepherd107 Před rokem +4

      @@raysun6617 They didn’t all know. Get around the country much? Have you asked them all? I’ve gotten around the country quite a bit. Sure, there’s a portion of his followers who are racists bigots. They’re not all though. I’ve grown up around overt racism.
      My point is, how do your words contribute to lessening the divide?

  • @lw3269
    @lw3269 Před rokem +231

    "I think they took my will....." Anyone else hoping he was going to finish that sentence with "to live"?

  • @russkish8628
    @russkish8628 Před rokem +7

    It's really a shame what he's done to the position

  • @rubyhoward2085
    @rubyhoward2085 Před rokem +3

    Someone please rescue that poor squirrel 🤣🤣🤣

  • @laskey2175
    @laskey2175 Před rokem +802

    If Trump declassified "everything" then he declassified Hillary's emails. 🤣

  • @lynnegackstetter2779
    @lynnegackstetter2779 Před rokem +133

    Count of Mostly Crisco. Who ever came up with that one deserves a raise. You are in your monologue and I am still giggling about this one. Time to rewind

    • @o.b.7217
      @o.b.7217 Před rokem +13

      It's from Twitter. Not from the staff.

    • @lcritter
      @lcritter Před rokem +3

      Earlier tonight I heard Michael cohen call it Mara-lardo. So mostly Crisco had me roaring .

    • @sjs9698
      @sjs9698 Před rokem +2

      @@o.b.7217 well find out who their employer is & call them. they deserve a raise ^^

    • @Sig2423
      @Sig2423 Před rokem

      I have a new favourite 🤣🤣🤣

    • @ideagirl
      @ideagirl Před rokem

      Give him a double raise!

  • @TGEnglishandcomputer
    @TGEnglishandcomputer Před rokem +3

    This is the best one Steve 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @pitchlockinc
    @pitchlockinc Před rokem +54

    A flawless performance! Johnny Carson would concede the throne! Thank you to Colbert and his writers for this MASTERPIECE

    • @kidd_gallahad2512
      @kidd_gallahad2512 Před rokem

      I know your type. The kind who if you hand them shot they think its perfume. Colbert is a wannabee, a disgusting left wing propagandist. Carson would piss on him.

    • @JohnWarner-lu8rq
      @JohnWarner-lu8rq Před rokem

      What are you smoking?

    • @kidd_gallahad2512
      @kidd_gallahad2512 Před rokem

      Colbert is a snot. You are a bot.

    • @bwenluck9812
      @bwenluck9812 Před 8 měsíci

      ​@@JohnWarner-lu8rq It's stood the test of time, John.... 😉

    • @JohnWarner-lu8rq
      @JohnWarner-lu8rq Před 8 měsíci

      @@bwenluck9812 Yeah.... BS has been around for quite some time.

  • @w.s.soapcompany94
    @w.s.soapcompany94 Před rokem +248

    It's like watching a five year old make up the rules to a game as he is playing it.

    • @user-kb9cu4rl9z
      @user-kb9cu4rl9z Před rokem +16

      tRump's been doing that his whole life. Doh. 🤪

    • @Michelles222
      @Michelles222 Před rokem +11

      That's how he thinks every minute. He just pops off what his pea brain is "thinking" at that moment. The drugs aren't helping.

    • @kassiapencek6185
      @kassiapencek6185 Před rokem +7

      Exactly

    • @bobrisse9823
      @bobrisse9823 Před rokem +11

      Calvinball!

    • @sophierobinson2738
      @sophierobinson2738 Před rokem +5

      @@bobrisse9823 You beat me to it! 😂

  • @stiimuli
    @stiimuli Před rokem +261

    The former disgrace in chief does this every time he's in trouble. He throws out every excuse he can think of even if those excuses contradict each other. "They raided my home and took my documents...I didn't take any documents....those documents were planted by the FBI...those documents were never classified....I declassified them all magically when I took them....also those documents were clothes..."

    • @bobrisse9823
      @bobrisse9823 Před rokem +1

      It's called DELAY!
      Trump tactic on display.
      Capitalism, the media, US justice, evangelicals, and MAGAS have fucked US and the world up.
      MAGAS, evangelicals, the media, US courts, and corporatism at this point truly do not understand REAL AMERICANS!
      We despise your MAGA, fake Christian, and media asses; your republican reps are on the wrong side.
      Republicans (liars, cheaters, and thieves) are dinosaurs; let them rot in their own infernal bigotry.
      US will be there for ALL of US no matter what shenanigans any MAGA, US court, evangelical meat head, or media talking head spouts.
      TRUMP was not your savior; he brought out all the hatred, bigotry, and greed republicans have to offer US and MAGAS, evangelical meat heads, or media talking heads failed to deliver anything but hate, bigotry, and greed!
      The progeny of US are already facing a world of grief.
      I encourage US to remember that republicans have not voted for any legislation that would protect US, our progeny, or the world.
      Do not vote “R”.
      US and “Homie” don't play that game!

    • @benwu7980
      @benwu7980 Před rokem +3

      Colbert's analogy to scattershot and fridge magnets is quite apt, or Neil deGrasse Tyson's quote "It becomes truth, simply because it got repeated so many times."
      Another thing he said to Hannity was that after magacally declassifying document, that he sent them *everywhere*
      I almost feel sorry for his lawyers for their jeopardy.
      It's rather amusing that in court, his lawyers are quite surprised at being asked the most obvious questions.
      Reminds me of a sketch Key & Peele did, called "Rap Album Confessions"

    • @CopingwithGrattitude
      @CopingwithGrattitude Před rokem +5

      Word salad…common trait of the personality disorder.

    • @YM-zz5qq
      @YM-zz5qq Před rokem

      “Such sock”😂

    • @kellir.747
      @kellir.747 Před rokem

      Spot on!

  • @liviusss
    @liviusss Před rokem +8

    Stepdad who ran over the hamster... 🤣
    Thanks for the laughs, Stephen, you really had a field day (and we did as well)!

  • @airheadrica1
    @airheadrica1 Před rokem +8

    By far the Best, and Super Funny monologue Ever. ❤

  • @sealand000
    @sealand000 Před rokem +20

    I'm not celebrating until I see concrete results.

  • @Betweentwogames
    @Betweentwogames Před rokem +2421

    A man who makes anyone who works with him sign an NDA, probably has a vague idea of how illegal this is.

    • @theactualbajmahal833
      @theactualbajmahal833 Před rokem +20

      Nah, that's just about his actual finger lengths.

    • @robertcampomizzi7988
      @robertcampomizzi7988 Před rokem +40

      There are legitimate uses for NDA. His were less than admirable. I will NOT dispute that part.

    • @seanbrockest3888
      @seanbrockest3888 Před rokem +96

      Always remember that an NDA is immediately invalid when any crime is involved.

    • @lancecarona2554
      @lancecarona2554 Před rokem +47

      Trump is guilty AF !

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +26

      To be fair, NDAs are also used for things like movie or government contracts. But if the NDA is in a legal contract, yeah that's pretty shady.

  • @garyjoaquin
    @garyjoaquin Před rokem +121

    What a brilliant monolog. Congratulations to everyone who contributed to it.

    • @santiagohaas7439
      @santiagohaas7439 Před rokem

      - 'Congrats' to the Don !!!!!!!!!

    • @viralmemes9213
      @viralmemes9213 Před rokem

      yeah i wonder if he will say the same for Biden considering he has classified documents in his garage and was never a president.

    • @communitygardener17
      @communitygardener17 Před 6 měsíci

      ​@@santiagohaas7439D John.

  • @mlucia534
    @mlucia534 Před rokem +12

    I love you!!!! :) You deserve an award for this episode. OMG! Someone arrest him already!

  • @dano8902
    @dano8902 Před rokem +95

    Just...incredible. Every time you think he can't sink any lower he breaks out the jackhammer and screams "I NEED A NEW SUB-BASEMENT!"

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Před rokem +8

      Hands the jackhammer to a contractor, whom he never pays.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +3

      And then refuses to pay the contractors!

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Před rokem

      Joe's old you know they can't leave him alone you shouldn't make fun of old people someday we'll all be there hopefully

    • @johnhipp8267
      @johnhipp8267 Před rokem +5

      @@danmcgriff1421 What are you even rambling about?

    • @derekstein6193
      @derekstein6193 Před rokem

      @@johnhipp8267 I think he is trying to treat the OP as if he/she was referring to Biden instead of Agent Orange. Just another deflection and a failed attempt at a "gotcha" quip.
      A troll or self-deluded fool, either way Dan Mcgriff is best ignored.

  • @chuckz253
    @chuckz253 Před rokem +405

    The funny thing in all this, is that someone at Fox thought it was a good idea to air that. 🤣

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +15

      All for the base!

    • @csmith563
      @csmith563 Před rokem +3

      @@couragekarnga8735 IKR🤣

    • @superluminalprobabilityclo6884
      @superluminalprobabilityclo6884 Před rokem +13

      The base of red hats will parrot it forever

    • @MDRUSHCRUSH
      @MDRUSHCRUSH Před rokem +33

      I fear the base will still see him as innocent. Their stupidity is frightening

    • @pawala7
      @pawala7 Před rokem +18

      They know their audience will take whatever bullcrap he spits out as law and gospel.

  • @iamjro
    @iamjro Před rokem +7

    Omg the squirrel 🐿 😂😂😂 This was a great monologue!

  • @likethecheeze321
    @likethecheeze321 Před rokem +2

    "Much Clothing! Many shirt. VERY PANT. Much Sock." XD Doge is Proud of Colbert, Memeing like a boss.

  • @richardosbourne3346
    @richardosbourne3346 Před rokem +164

    Everyone seems to have missed it, he also admitted that there are documents in his other properties. That needs attention right now!

    • @vetgirl71
      @vetgirl71 Před rokem

      Your absolutely right! 🎯 #45 actually admitted on national tv that he took those classified documents from the WH! 👏🏾👏🏾 This man is a habitual liar and maniac! 🙄🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @j.s.669
      @j.s.669 Před rokem

      Good to know!

    • @selalewow
      @selalewow Před rokem +4

      Mayhaps buried near the first hole ay Bedminster?

    • @YM-zz5qq
      @YM-zz5qq Před rokem +9

      There’s even a video of him moving boxes onto a plane to take them to his other property. 😱 imagine that!

    • @blackbird5634
      @blackbird5634 Před rokem +2

      Joy Reid did a show on that line last night.

  • @stoppin2look
    @stoppin2look Před rokem +27

    "45" was "thinking about" declassifying each document as he was holding them out to be photographed by foreign buyers?

  • @mbf6160
    @mbf6160 Před rokem +14

    The fact he had that bat waiting as if he had a run in with the squirrel before made it even funnier 🐿️ 😂

  • @slyeung6562
    @slyeung6562 Před rokem +20

    Amazing show ! Thank you Mr.Stephen Colbert

  • @theoneandonlygrod
    @theoneandonlygrod Před rokem +40

    "Okay, Mr. President. So you're saying you saw the documents, magically de-classified them ... and THEN you stole them?"

  • @melissaweyrick5311
    @melissaweyrick5311 Před rokem +94

    The Squirrel's are in 45's head, and they have rabies.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +4

      Which really sucks, 'cause I'm sure he's got cyphylus.

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Před rokem +3

      It's the other way around, the squirrels are terrified and T-Rump has rabies.

    • @herminaescamilla8537
      @herminaescamilla8537 Před rokem

      N tRump is the one who gave those poor squirrels Rabies too..

  • @Lena-vl4iv
    @Lena-vl4iv Před rokem +4

    This was brilliant. I laughed my ass off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @edmonddantes5750
    @edmonddantes5750 Před rokem +3

    I almost peed from laughing at the screaming squirrel guy.

  • @ssfheather6629
    @ssfheather6629 Před rokem +40

    Omfg the count of mostly crisco…A++++++ that was chefs kiss perfect!

  • @FutureCommentary1
    @FutureCommentary1 Před rokem +34

    5:48 He must have confused the presidency with an absolute monarchy. And even then people can't act on the monarch's thoughts.

  • @elchappy2809
    @elchappy2809 Před rokem +24

    Thank you Steven and Staff for the laughs early in the morning! Love ya!

  • @CelesteRAdams
    @CelesteRAdams Před rokem +3

    I have watched this over 10 times & it seems new each time & I scream laughing each time!

  • @fifiwoof1969
    @fifiwoof1969 Před rokem +12

    "Sean comes preconfused!"

  • @akaiclone02
    @akaiclone02 Před rokem +30

    That one made me bust out laughing. "The Count of mostly Crisco"
    best nickname yet

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Před rokem +2

      I kinda liked _the flabrador deceiver_

    • @akaiclone02
      @akaiclone02 Před rokem

      @@ttacking_you tangerine dream was good to

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Před rokem

      @@akaiclone02 then, of course, there's the P.O.S.otus (Kimmel)

  • @llfsmith1
    @llfsmith1 Před rokem +19

    I watched this a few times, laughed hard on each watch.... Stephen is beyond hilarious 😂

  • @weirdunclebob
    @weirdunclebob Před rokem +1

    "Martha My Dear" at the end was awesome. Cheers TLSB 😁👍

  • @blascantu7221
    @blascantu7221 Před rokem +14

    "I declassified it with my mind" ~ The Tangerine Wizard of Mar-o-Lago

  • @joshthompiano
    @joshthompiano Před rokem +136

    "There is nothing either classified nor declassified but thinking makes it so." ~Donald Shakespeare

    • @id10t98
      @id10t98 Před rokem +11

      Be classified or not be classified, that is the question!

    • @commentz-1
      @commentz-1 Před rokem +7

      🤣😂🤣😂

    • @justsaying14
      @justsaying14 Před rokem +7

      A document, declassified would read as sweet.

    • @pennydavis9494
      @pennydavis9494 Před rokem +3

      Love the nickname

  • @ansfridaeyowulfsdottir8095

    He confused Hannity, when Hannity already comes pre-confused! 🤣🤣🤣
    {:o:O:}

  • @TheMarkyMarx
    @TheMarkyMarx Před rokem +41

    Thank you Stephen. Comic gold. Could we have possibly had a dumber president. I mean really? I doubt it.

    • @starsalign9336
      @starsalign9336 Před 11 měsíci

      And more criminal president? I doubt that, too.

    • @jeremycurtis2334
      @jeremycurtis2334 Před 9 měsíci +1

      I don’t know. If anything TFG has taught me is my imagination does not go far enough. Just when I think it’s reached the edge he proves me wrong. I’ve read (a few times) and studied the Inferno and Paradise Lost at a collegiate level. Didn’t really fathom how far down that really went.
      But that means we could have dumber and more criminal possibilities. He might be the worst now, but what I thought was the worst before him, he proved me wrong. Until now, none more dumb or criminal. However, can it go worse? Didn’t think so before, but now maybe possibly….

    • @johntoddtompkins3898
      @johntoddtompkins3898 Před 7 měsíci

      Let's all pray it doesn't get worse that Trump. @@jeremycurtis2334

  • @HairynosedWombat163
    @HairynosedWombat163 Před rokem +2481

    This judge Cannon now has huge egg on her face. How would anyone have any confidence in any of her rulings or judgements from today? She can thank the chump for destroying her short lived reputation and career though.

    • @pickledragonrebel
      @pickledragonrebel Před rokem +296

      She did this to herself she knew exactly what she was doing.

    • @ProjectFlashlight612
      @ProjectFlashlight612 Před rokem +117

      Het judgments are like the Star Wars novels - not Cannon.

    • @andyruse4670
      @andyruse4670 Před rokem +151

      She’s in a for life position.
      Until and unless she’s impeached, there’s zero reason for her to feel regret for acting like his puppet.

    • @kenhoward3512
      @kenhoward3512 Před rokem +198

      @@pickledragonrebel Trump appointed her to be a judge from a list provided by the far-right-wing Federalist Society. Yes, she knew what she was doing - and will likely continue doing it.

    • @co7314
      @co7314 Před rokem

      She should be disbarred

  • @debrastarr8436
    @debrastarr8436 Před rokem +25

    A man who pleads the Fifth 400 times might as well admit he’s guilty and save everyone some time. 😅❤😅

  • @mr.halloween87
    @mr.halloween87 Před rokem +1

    We are going to be absolutely disappointed by the final outcome.

  • @SchlumiBenLuschi
    @SchlumiBenLuschi Před rokem +13

    This is absolute gold. I keep coming back for more laughs. Thanks be to Quob for giving us the Dontard.

  • @grizzlynad
    @grizzlynad Před rokem +13

    “The Count of Mostly Crisco!” Bravo, that made me laugh out loud! 👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣

  • @aj42k
    @aj42k Před rokem +822

    That Trump photo with that outfit made me hit the floor dead with laughter.

    • @kenotube3160
      @kenotube3160 Před rokem +47

      Don’t worry. That cable is rated to hold 50 tons.

    • @karenconroy1860
      @karenconroy1860 Před rokem +48

      Need to bleach my eyes

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před rokem +22

      Someone's using their photomanip skills into good use 😆

    • @indigowolf556
      @indigowolf556 Před rokem +25

      Baby got back indeed 😂

    • @rainbowprism6242
      @rainbowprism6242 Před rokem

      The guy should have looked like a blimp. They photoshopped him too generously

  • @elizabethmoini2902
    @elizabethmoini2902 Před rokem +1

    "Stephen.... Much Love from the UK!!.....I LOVE your sense of humour!!. I thought our politics here in Britain was nuts!!!. Thanks for making me Laugh so much, i nearly wet myself!!!".

  • @suzivigeant2213
    @suzivigeant2213 Před rokem +4

    Being able to replicate that man's screaming was icing on a cake.

  • @CJA32able
    @CJA32able Před rokem +103

    Your phrases about the “much clothing “ had me crying😂

  • @toramaru.m
    @toramaru.m Před rokem +593

    Stephen's monologue was on fire! He roasted every single one of those excuses to perfection.

    • @7027flowers
      @7027flowers Před rokem +2

      💯🤣

    • @ludwinghurtado5032
      @ludwinghurtado5032 Před rokem +3

      Yes he did! This is viral content! Well all his material is viral really but this deserves virality!

    • @smac9273
      @smac9273 Před rokem

      It’s too bad his best monologues are the ones making fun of Trump.

    • @smac9273
      @smac9273 Před rokem +3

      @@Nate-.- what? Just saying it would be nice if Trump just went away and we rarely heard about him again in the monologues.

    • @Surge1077
      @Surge1077 Před rokem +3

      The comparison of Judge Cannon to the girl from the Ring movies KILLED ME!

  • @janetbooth9268
    @janetbooth9268 Před rokem +7

    Stephen, you and your team keep getting better and better. Thank you for the laughs. I also caught that Rodney Dangerfield shoulder shrug, it made me think how he would throw all this bs into his acts. Keep them coming?

  • @I_Get_Computers_Puting
    @I_Get_Computers_Puting Před rokem +8

    You don't have to be partisan to cringe at how he acts. He's like 77 years old, my 17 year old daughter acts more mature than this dude. And to think, that there's actually people that defend him, still.

  • @michelleb7399
    @michelleb7399 Před rokem +399

    I love how they are still sharing creative names generated by Twitter users. All these names later and they still get a lot of laughs.

    • @jeffbaer5851
      @jeffbaer5851 Před rokem +29

      When the nightmare is over, there needs to be a GIGANTIC mural with every name used, in order. The tourism would make whatever town it's in into a new Vegas.

    • @conwaymj88
      @conwaymj88 Před rokem

      I like using them too. anything to keep that dirty fkers' name out of my mouth

    • @mlr4524
      @mlr4524 Před rokem +7

      I think you can still suggest names on Twitter using the hashtag #HeWhoShallBeNamed and #Colbert etc. I've already forgotten what mine were as it was so long ago lol.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +8

      I wanted to submit "Eric's Dad" but someone beat me to it. Ah well.

    • @kathyastrom1315
      @kathyastrom1315 Před rokem +43

      The Count of Mostly Crisco is really one of the best ones yet!

  • @geekishgir
    @geekishgir Před rokem +67

    The Count of mostly Crisco had me laughing far more than it should have. Probably one of the best you've picked!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @janetmccarty7559
    @janetmccarty7559 Před měsícem

    Laughter is the best medicine. It's so sad the American people are going through this craziness with Trump. Keep the laughs coming❤

  • @annmarieholland4242
    @annmarieholland4242 Před 8 měsíci +1

    We miss you so much!!!!!

  • @SRowntree
    @SRowntree Před rokem +331

    Thank you for everything, Stephen. And to the unspoken heroes of your crew too!

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 Před rokem +1

      the crew that insisted in the capitol on jan 6???

    • @SRowntree
      @SRowntree Před rokem +1

      @@victorarredondo304 Trumpanzees are camping out on Late Show videos waiting to screech

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +6

      I anticipated this, and was not disappointed! Love ya, SC!

    • @joshuawilson5434
      @joshuawilson5434 Před rokem +6

      @@victorarredondo304 dude, spell check.

    • @tomnalley3644
      @tomnalley3644 Před rokem +1

      Colbert is a commiecrat just like the rest of the Hollywood trash.

  • @AnnieWarbux
    @AnnieWarbux Před rokem +28

    "The Count of Mostly Crisco!!" Hilarious!🤣

  • @cleverusername9369
    @cleverusername9369 Před 6 měsíci

    Glad to have you back, writers

  • @benlarsen4602
    @benlarsen4602 Před rokem +1

    Yeah, that quote just makes him crazy.

  • @hayesdabney
    @hayesdabney Před rokem +11

    "The Count of mostly Crisco". One of the best so far! Thank you, Steven Fans!

  • @martiansoon9092
    @martiansoon9092 Před rokem +168

    It is good to see that some judges wants to keep their law licenses...

    • @jeremybenoit759
      @jeremybenoit759 Před rokem

      Ya and so they do what the democrats tell them

    • @skiks1853
      @skiks1853 Před rokem

      @@jeremybenoit759 Trump could try not lying and committing crimes. He'd be better off.

    • @Rorys-Mancave
      @Rorys-Mancave Před rokem +4

      @@jeremybenoit759 you hate the law dont ya

    • @ThePoppinger
      @ThePoppinger Před rokem +3

      @@jeremybenoit759 Yeah they should do what the criminal wants them to do!

    • @SHARKAST1C
      @SHARKAST1C Před rokem

      @@jeremybenoit759 supporting treason isn't a good look, but go off.

  • @susanwelch9087
    @susanwelch9087 Před rokem +2

    The Count of Mostly Crisco....down in Mar a Lardo

  • @colleenmelton1558
    @colleenmelton1558 Před 5 měsíci

    You really are great..thanks for the laugh....a person whom speaks the truth....you got my vote...Press....Keep it up.....

  • @alariel85
    @alariel85 Před rokem +50

    The dude has a bat ready and was skittish at every small noise, I believe him when he said he was terrorised by squirrels beforehand.

    • @justsaying14
      @justsaying14 Před rokem

      You know who has been taken out of action by squirrels?!
      Thanos 😱

    • @vincentavangogh3636
      @vincentavangogh3636 Před rokem

      Has he tried eating them? Their meat is delicious in stews. Both squirrels and rabbits are scarce in my backyard now... ☹️

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +780

    Bonus points: every single one of Mar-a-Lardo's inner circle, including his son, his in-laws, and his other son he forgot existed, all rose up to defend him on the usual spots. They all must be kicking themselves when they saw him go on Fox to practically admit that he's a liar.

    • @jefschobert9765
      @jefschobert9765 Před rokem +1

      MINDFREAK!! He thought he’d still be president after the election while he was president so he still is president because he thinks he is.

    • @kittimcconnell2633
      @kittimcconnell2633 Před rokem +50

      They've never seemed to regret all the other times he's blustered out an admission of guilt

    • @calvinbright3054
      @calvinbright3054 Před rokem

      All the in-laws are watching their future alimony go up in flames. How depressing it must be to find out the lying pigs you've been sleeping with for their money are about to be bankrupt. Yes ladies, you sold yourselves for nothing. They're all going to end up destitute, unemployed and unemployable. 🤣 🤣

    • @Chompchompyerded
      @Chompchompyerded Před rokem +48

      This seems like one of those times where the inlaws are also outlaws.

    • @kathytourtillott9361
      @kathytourtillott9361 Před rokem +16

      One can only hope they are . . And that will lead to rethinking all their life choices

  • @lorny4u
    @lorny4u Před rokem

    I'm here for 'Merica Season 2. Hello from Scotland.
    #independenceisrecovery 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  • @r.derringer6426
    @r.derringer6426 Před rokem +1

    the COUNT OF MONTI CRISCO!!
    omg! I love it...

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +134

    So King Baby Coward's excuse is "I am a Jedi"? Oh yeah, that will fly in federal court.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +10

      It would have if Barr were AG.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +4

      @@couragekarnga8735 sadly that's the truth.

    • @chrisleebowers
      @chrisleebowers Před rokem +27

      He pleads the Sith

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +9

      @@chrisleebowers why can't I upvote a comment more than once!? Laughed my ass off to that one! Thank you!

    • @jeffbaer5851
      @jeffbaer5851 Před rokem

      DIdn't you know? T***p appointed all the best people to the federal bench! "The trekkies, we love the trekkies and their force. It's the biggest, hardest force ever in terms of forcing. As the Wolverine said to Superman, 'May the force live prosperously and long live trek.' I'm ... did you know this, I was the first person to think of the wars in the stars, those stars having wars? It was all me, and yet the socialist woke people want to keep me out of Valhalla like any good Jet-Guy...Jenga... Jello... Jet-Puffed.... man, woman, person, camera, TV."

  • @heatherface1
    @heatherface1 Před rokem +256

    "The former president then used his "mind" to make dumb words come out of his stupid mouth." 😆🤣😂

    • @rockshowness9446
      @rockshowness9446 Před rokem +1

      Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... 🤓👋 🤣

    • @davidwright8432
      @davidwright8432 Před rokem +5

      Stephen was being polite, as ever. It wasn't has mouth.

    • @caseyrayharris.esquire489
      @caseyrayharris.esquire489 Před rokem +3

      Yeah he did classify everything except the JFK documents that were due to be Declassified of. With no logical explanation either

    • @matthewconrad2908
      @matthewconrad2908 Před rokem

      He also use this "mind" to declassify by "just thinking" ...His mother must have tried to repeatedly restrain his so called "mind" for the good and betterment of mankind and it's own officialdom having been obscured by this foggy fellow and his beloved "mind over matter" jousts with curious onlookers who find him fascinating to bear such a resemblance to apes who have regained their rhythm as workers he molests with his remarkable large orange cranium and puts them"on the spot" for having dealt it out like one of his $5.00 prime rib dinners to further than evaluate the war between various humans who are far more worried that apes are more intelligent than they might appear ...

    • @ukiitm
      @ukiitm Před rokem

      @@davidwright8432 What? Guess you got something caught in your mouth.

  • @psdeas7530
    @psdeas7530 Před rokem +1

    “…Treason Cerebro.” 💯💯🤣😬😳😱

  • @nadiarepich5199
    @nadiarepich5199 Před rokem +16

    Way too funny! Brilliance at its best. I can do everything (declassify) with just my mind: My Unfavorite Martian👽This is one of the best monologues I have ever seen. Talent way beyond AGT. Stephen is on a roll here. No one can outdo this most brilliant performance. 🎊🏆

  • @DustyJones1997BGCL
    @DustyJones1997BGCL Před rokem +100

    The former guy is absolutely creepy insane and crazy but what I find more creepy and scary and it just frightens me everyday is that there are people who follow this guy and everything he says every word he says most people believe it I'll just never understand how can anybody think that this is okay the former guy is a bad man and he needs to be held accountable and thrown in prison.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem

      Cultism and Stockholm's syndrome are real.

    • @thisbushnell2012
      @thisbushnell2012 Před rokem +4

      which is why he needs to live a long long time, to complete his sentences, consecutively, in a nice padded windowless room.

    • @mwil1323
      @mwil1323 Před rokem +5

      Yep and now besides thinking he’s the second coming, they also now think he is a magician!

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Před rokem

      Sounds like you're going to cry are you okay if you need to talk I'm here for you it's going to be okay

    • @saratemp790
      @saratemp790 Před rokem

      My mom loves him because Trump is openly racist. Prob most of his followers are the same.

  • @Mikeylikesit318
    @Mikeylikesit318 Před rokem +99

    Love your delivery on abysmal news. It’s needed in these times.

    • @tomnalley3644
      @tomnalley3644 Před rokem +1

      His news is the same s... as the communist news network

  • @judymullinax4582
    @judymullinax4582 Před rokem

    I love that he can make me laugh about Trump. Thanks Stephen!

  • @ronsflightsimlab9512
    @ronsflightsimlab9512 Před rokem +1

    My boss is from the UK... He said "If you or I would have done this, we would be drinking water upside-down for a living."

  • @janpowell1549
    @janpowell1549 Před rokem +151

    "The Count of Mostly Crisco", I believe that's one of my favorites so far. Stephen Colbert has helped me through these extremely trying times. His wit, charm, compassion and empathy are only a handful of what makes him such a decent and moral man. Not to mention I can't stop laughing every time I watch him. Big love for him.🤣😘❤

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 Před rokem +305

    Stephen and this crew always knock the monologue out of the park.

  • @deborahzenquis4666
    @deborahzenquis4666 Před 8 měsíci

    That was Excellent!!!

  • @anotheruser676
    @anotheruser676 Před rokem +1

    "declassified everything"
    So we can finally see those Taxes?