3 REAL Cures For Loneliness... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
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- čas přidán 25. 08. 2017
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I’m still totally stunned by your amazing reactions to last week’s video on loneliness.
When I last checked, the video had more than 1,000 CZcams comments, many of which were heartfelt confessions from people who had been in the same boat.
It’s crazy how many of us suffer in silence, when we all go through the same painful struggles.
And after reading these emotional responses, I realised a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.
Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again...
"Curse of the Ice Queen" by Erik Bode
"Soft Piano" by Alex Bird
"Longing Waltz" by Felipe Adorno Vassao
"Uplifting Classical" by Star Diva
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The other day I sat on a park bench next to an old lady, she looked soo sad...I smiled at her and and mentioned the weather then we started to speak. She told me about all her problems, she had lost a son of 33years old her daughter had cancer and her niece was fighting anorexia..I just listened to her for over an hour. When we parted she smiled and thanked me, but all that day I felt different and not feeling sorry for myself. Just giving a little of our time or even a smile to others can make them and us feel better.
KATHLEEN CRUISE You are a very kind and valuable person.
That's sweet of you...
Wonderful
So proud of you @KATHLEEN CRUISE
Beautiful comment.
I feel lonely when Im sad and there is no one to talk to. So I will start to move and keep moving. Go for a walk, clean my house. Grocery shop and say hello to strangers. start conversations with people. Nothing elaborate just a quick hello, love your shoes, love this weather, arent these the best apples you've ever seen. etc. always with a smile. Then they react and it becomes a very positive experience for both. I also pay attention to other people that look lonely and ensure I greet them. that usually helps me get on track
i appreciate your comment, i try to do the same when i go out, i can relate
That's so lovely you're very sweet
I do the same
I feel lonely in my birthday. The feeling that I didn’t meet my real myself yet. I didn’t meet the one person that I can love for the rest of my life.
You ALWAYS have the one person you can love for the rest of your life.
YOU 💙
Those who are alone out there I m hugging you and I m smiling at you in a very worm and deep way, I love you, I understand you , i care about you, I respect you, I value the person you really are❤
iris lyfe Lovely! 😍👊🏻😉💝 ThankYou! I feel great now!
I often feel lonely in groups because I feel disconnected. I don't feel "interesting enough" or "good enough." I think about all of things I wish I'd accomplished that I haven't and feel that I don't measure up or won't meet or exceed people's expectations (career, income, not traveling enough, not having impressive hobbies or skills, not being a home owner, not being married, not starting a family, etc...).
wow, its as if i wrote this. I feel the same exact way and i often beat myself over it and it results in myself withdrawing from others ugh :(
You just explained my current situation in a single paragraph.
Oh my gosh!! I FEEL EXACTLY the same way!!
I feel the same way.. Its becoming my everyday life now...
I feel the same way and it's completely consuming me, i'm age 37 now and I feel like i'm never going to get out of my own head to attract the kind of woman i'm looking for and i'll never be truly happy with who I am. It's maddening.
As a guy, I have always felt at mercy of women's judgment and rejection. The frustration, futility, and fear of dating made me feel like I was in a losing battle where women were the enemy. But seeing through your videos that there are women who feel just like I do, makes me feel like they're in the trench next to me, instead of across a vast minefield no-mans-land. I feel closer, not just to other people struggling in dating, but to women in general. Exercising empathy and non-judgment has made me feel much less lonely in the last few years.
.... a vast minefield no mans land....dude.
I love you comment
thefirespectrum Sending you back the good vibes and smiles!! : )
thefirespectrum sending you a kiss....love you from London...x
thefirespectrum I feel the same. Ofc women don't want to be judged and it's understandable but at the same time how much empathy do they have towards men? Do they understand men also can be nervous at date? Mostly they don't. They treat it as sign of weakness and cross you out right away. Women have problems with understanding that men are not objects created to amuse women and make them feel better, they don't accept the fact that we can feel lonely too. So I wonder why should we be empathic towards them when they are not empathic towards us? Staying single seems better to me than dating nagging hags. Since I stopped looking for women I feel my life is much less toxic as I don't need to think about meeting anyone's expectations.
Just went through an excutriating breakup and I’m now dealing with feeling so isolated and alone. I went from having what I thought was the love of my life to losing it all. It is so hard to imagine moving on and life without him. The irony is that before him I had no problem being alone. I enjoyed it and felt at home in it a lot but now it scares me bc I know now what it is to feel such a strong connection to someone and have them know you so well. I know things will get easier but I almost don’t want to go back to being ok with being alone. I want to have that connection with someone again.
I feel you...I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I'm an introvert who greatly enjoys his alone time. But it was only after meeting what I thought was the love of my life that my whole world turned upside down. I went from being able to go days without speaking to anyone, to barely able to get through an hour alone. I try to fill my time with work and chores, but nothing fills that void. She was my first real girlfriend. I don't think I've ever connected to someone in the same way in my life. We shared so many personal things. I can't believe she's gone...
I know exactly what you’re feeling, I’m going through it myself.. I’m always here if you want someone to talk to xx
Yes, loneliness is relative to what you are used to. I’ve had no relationship for over 20 years but you get used to it.
Yeah
I'm going through the EXACT same thing. I was fine with being by myself before then met who I thought was the love of my life. We planned our future together from early on. We fit so well. Then he leaves. No warning, no chance to fix anything and it's like I never existed. Like you say, it's excruciating. I wonder after 3 years if you've found peace or someone deserving of your love? Much love from Scotland x
I’m just constantly lonely. At work, I’m able to open up, but I’m all alone when I’m home and that’s when it hits me. And of course, most of my friends and colleagues are in long term relationships or married, so they’re not readily available to talk. This causes the loneliness to become worse.
Thank you Matthew. You bless me so often with your words of wisdom and I am very grateful to have you as a friend...that how I see you.
Mari Cardona I totally relate. Nighttime is the hardest time of all 🤗
Totally feel the same....yayyyyyyy......
Same. Everybody else looks forward to weekends and bank holidays (UK). I dread them, because I just can't fill the time. The days drag and I feel positive about getting back into work, just to be around people. 😔
OMG ditto!
A retired lady shared her wisdom with me "We all just need something to fuss over." She was referring to how the happier older folks had a garden, a cat, hobby, community cause, a grateful friend, etc. to focus on. The lonely retirees were just "fussy" but did not "fuss over" something else. So simple, it stuck with me.
Truck Stop Travel Tales this makes so much sense. I think of my grandparents. They were the happiest people I've ever known. But my yiayia (grandmother) always had her garden and updating the house. My grandfather always had his tennis and bocce club. It's what made them happy alone and in return happy in life.
true.
Laughed so hard when he started reading Harry Potter
I got excited and then I realized the video was too short. Maybe he could read a few pages every video...
I thought the whole "Liberace" look comment was a good add on. I didn't really think about it. Until the guy mentioned it! lol humorous definitely!
I feel lonely when I'm single. I just got out of a relationship and the loss of that love hit me hard. I don't remember the last time I was completely alone, and it feels weird and uncomfortable. I'm at an age where now everyone is in a relationship, engaged, or married. I want the same thing so badly, but it's been so hard for me to meet that someone that's on the same page and wants similar things. Everyone around me is taken and it hurts that I'm the only one left feeling unwanted and alone. But I do want to enjoy being alone for once. I want to make the most of my time, not feel incomplete and be fulfilled and happy with my own company. I'm not sure how to do that, but I want it very much. I need a long break from dating--got a lot of damage to unpack and heal before I start again with someone new. Ugh. How does one feel whole and satisfied again by themselves?
I feel lonely when I’m learning something new that I’d normally share with Rob………For finding out some thing to be false about my past due to being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. A lot of things are shocking and I really don’t have anybody to share it with.
ah i feel the way jus like u do , i jus wanna be with people too but i reallly don't like to talk to em or make friends , idk its so messy when u don't wanna talk to anyone but u still wanna be with someonw , its so damn hard
Get to KNOW yourself again almost
like you're DATING yourself. Get to
KNOW: your dreams, hopes, desires,
goals, plans, likes, dislikes & most
importantly your STANDARDS, VALUES & BOUNDARIES. Try 1 NEW thing a week be it a food, restaurant, drink, recipe, place or experience. Fall in LOVE & FIND yourself. This will help you CREATE the FOUNDATION for a truly LOVING, LASTING HEALTHY STABLE relationship with someone ELSE
that SUSTAINS. LOVE YOURSELF
FIRST. 💙
@@leahp9915 you can do that too much space I was going to
Hi, I read your comment out loud I don't know why I did that.. But while reading your comment, it felt like it's my story written by someone.
I cried.. because I felt connected to you and I feel less lonely now :)
What I want to say to you is that you are okay. You will be okay and that life is telling you that you need to find something more important than finding someone.. Yourself and that you are love 💗 Something I want to tell myself.
Wanted to finally say hi! I'm 49, divorced after 20 years and I live alone. At first it was a Stark contrast from married life, but these days, I fill my time up with so many things I genuinely want to do, and people that have like interests....I don't have time to be lonely. The change in my mindset must be working, as I've had several gentleman ask me for dates just in the past two weeks.
Self talk helps. I am my own cheerleader! Find a mantra to run through your head when the loneliness starts to creep in. ☺️
And all you beautiful women on here, put the self doubt, the self loathing aside. You are a rock star gals...and your light is going to shine as bright as YOU want it to. Never place your own value on someone else's opinion...they don't truly know you.
I used to be so lonely even at parties. There is that nagging thought that you aren't special enough. I woke up one day and said I am kind and funny and that is enough. It's important to discover yourself and do what makes you happy. I can live my days writing my poems and when I share my work and people connect to it, I am happy. Have something you are passionate about and you will always have something to live for.
Lordstace Lordstace finally someone who understands. I’ve always felt like that.
Have you published your writing or poems? Please let me know, I would like to read it !
😥 Thank you for that
I practiced vulnerability the other day and was amazed where it got me. I just moved to a new city & left my family & old friends behind. It's been a hell of a long time trying to make friends just because I was waiting for someone to be vulnerable to me. I paid for this girl's coffee because her card was declining, and at first she disappeared because she was shocked by what I did. Then I went to my place of work and saw her in there, and we chatted up and exchanged numbers. We're planning to meet up on Sunday for coffee on her. I'm so amazed at just how far this got me, and I can't believe I spent all that time waiting for friends to appear to me when I could've just been making them myself.
Oh this is so amazing!
this is really encouraging, thanks for sharing!
Wow that's inspirational
That's amazing.
Just kind little acts can make such an impact. I will try it myself.
I have never felt so lonely until I actually became disabled. I hurt my back and lost everything. Meaning home,job,boyfriend and was was worse not being able to go on putting a with my family and due to my back being so bad I couldn't even hold my grand children. And it seemed like everyone pulled away when I needed their love and understanding the most. So I have had very lonely days and nights. And what has been worse was ending up in a home for the disabled and elderly. Wow !!! Such a big turn around in my life. It has been super tough. However I'm trying to do better. And except my life in a different way now. :)❤ I watch your video daily and you have helped me in alot of ways. Thank you and his bless you. Keep up the great work.
Hello Betty , i am sure that you are going to discover a courage in you that you didn't know you had. Sometimes life can be so challenging but we grow up from our experiences.
Hello Betty! I had problems with my back. Going for cupping/acupuncture, Chinese doctor and change of eating habits helped a lot. Also didn’t realise but sometimes if you are grinding your teeth in the evening can cause back ache. Stretching and foam rolling helps a lot. Hope you sort out your health and everything else will follow🙏
Hello Betty, I just had a knee surgery. I lost my very new relationship, many friends who were always be around disappeared, my family members are doing their own thing in another city. At the beginning, I was suffering from the pain and not be able to walk without crutches, I was so upset and felt so down. But then things started to change, I have more time to read now while before I barely got time, I have more time to get back to my Spanish learning, I have more time to concentrate on my work( I can work on computer at home). I feel like it’s not that bad to be alone actually. I have more time to spend on myself instead of going to now seems meaningless social events. Being alone can be a good thing. We have more time to be ourselves, focus on improving our inside world. There is a universe inside of ourselves, and waiting for us to discover it. And most of all, I understand what you are going through and all your feelings. I wish this will help you out. Hope you feel better soon. All the best. Xxx
Betty You still around ?
Please know you support here. Best wishes. Lisa
My partner of 4 years left me last week. I have cried every night and felt so down today being the weekend and no contact. I'm working on myself and wanting to find new connections with people in my life now. I'm wishing/praying for new friends and relationships. I hope everyone gets that in thier life soon xxxx
Nat K Stay strong and all the best☺️
@@simonshrestha3918 thanks :)
It makes me wish to collect all of these people feeling lonely Like this and bring us together at a table Just talk, Drink a cold beer and share time so that in the end we all get something Out of it.
Its Just a comment from some random dude, but I wish you well and a Lot of reasons to Smile in a daily basis
I recently lost my other half of nine years a week ago and I've been crying my eyes out a lot. We were engaged about two years and he decided to leave me with no word or warning. The pain is painful and it sucks, but now we all have a new start to rebuild ourselves and have great courage in our inner strength and have faith that we can come out of this storm stronger than we came in it. And I hope you find your new soulmates in friends and a life companion soon. Being with someone for so long does cut the heart like a knife when they leave us behind. But we all can get through this together with one step at a time. Have a wonderful day, weekend, and let your wings spread open and fly free like a beautiful butterfly.
I feel your pain I went through this a month ago and if you're still looking for a friend I'm here
I do exactly the opposite. The more vulnerable and lonely I feel inside, the harder I pretend I'm happy and put up a fake happy face bc I think ppl just don't care. Sad part is the more I fake my happiness the sadder I get.
I do that sometimes but it makes thing worst and you live in an illusion which isnt good at all.
People actually don’t care. Just make urself happy.
A smart man once said that loneliness is not cured by contact with human company, loneliness is cured by contact with reality.
Daniel Gray - or spur gobsmacking hopelessness!
I feel lonely when I am really sad but do not talk to anyone.
What makes me happy though is when someone shows me kindness for example greeting me or just a simple smile. I love that ❤️🌻
"Vulnerability can't be a transaction, it has to be a standard" PREEEEEACHHHHH!
The concept of vulnerability comes up again and again everywhere I look. And it's something I am going through as well.
Pallavi RoyC How do you deal with it, if I may ask? I'm going through that too, and sometimes, like Matthew said, I just get really frustrated at the person and end up regretting it
Cree that's so true. Yes, you can regret it and and feel 'omg i was vulnerable and look what happened...they just didn't open up or reciprocate." What helps me, Cree is sort of what Matthew says in this video. Don't open up to someone with the expectation that will immediately reciprocate those feelings right there or show their appreciation. It has happened more than once to me, where we become vulnerable while talking or while hanging out with our friends or even potential dates, and they don't respond with the same openness and warmth. I feel like there is some of us too scared to show and even accept ourselves let alone reciprocate someone else's feelings towards us. People who become vulnerable are very confident people, they are scared to do it, but do it anyway. That time when I got a coffee for someone out of the blue who I was interested in, was just a small act of vulnerability where I showed my feeling, by acting on it. I didn't think too much, I just did it because I thought that they would feel special and I would be happy to do something like that. I gave them the opportunity to open up as well. If it doesn't work out, I don't worry about it, because I at least gave them a chance and I was being true to myself; I did it because I wanted to. :)
TL;DR: from my little experience, be vulnerable when you CAN and you WANT to, don't always expect it to work out. Be true to your authentic self. And if it works out, it will be AMAZING :)
Pallavi RoyC That was super helpful, thank you Pallavi!! :) "be vulnerable because you CAN and you WANT to," I'll take that to heart. (I read the long version first ;) I love detailed responses. Thank you!)
There are so many positives to being vulnerable! But sometimes others can also take advantage of that...curious about the balance of that and how you can protect yourself while also being open to positive connections.
I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago. I really loved him but it never worked out and I don't really think he ever loved me. It made me feel insecure when we broke up but then I spent time trying to find myself, concentrating on my job, my studies, travelling and connecting with family and friends again. I even starting swimming again which is something I really love but could never find the time to do. At times when I see couples It makes me think of the good times we had and makes me feel lonely. Especially as all my close friends are all in couples. I think though spending the time getting my confidence back and concentrating on myself is what I need to do to be happy. Before I start looking for someone else. Hopefully someday I will be able to put myself out there to be vulnerable again and connect with someone. In the words of rupaul, If you don't love yourself then how the he'll you gona love somebody else lol
i feel lonely when i get back from the hospital with bad news about my health and no one to talk to who really understands
I understand. My family thinks I'm lying for attention. Fortunately I got diagnosed properly and now my husband mostly understands even if no one else does. I don't talk to anyone in my family but my dad and an Aunt . Neither of whom I'm close to. I have a loving sister in law but she doesn't like to talk about problems.
and no one to consistently help out
i'm here, if you need to talk about it :)
Im here if you need someone to talk
I understand
Mathew, what an articulate description of feelings that so many are experiencing..... currently I am suffering from this loneliness phase, which is painful but these few video clips is making me think that why I haven’t took the initiative to change it..... thanks for your sincere continuous efforts of making us realise how to cope with our insecurities and live the life fully .....
I love this video ...
It popped up when I needed it most . We should not be scared to show our vulnerability it's the very thing that makes us human .
I totally believe that a major cause is how you feel is related to how you view yourselves..so we must not only fill others cup but fill our own . It's not always easy but it is possible .. stop seeing ourselves as broken and just that loneliness is a part of being human and while it's really fucking sucks it's not forever and it's all part of personal growth xx
Spread love and kindness ❤❤❤
Hi. First comment in like a year. Personally I feel most lonely when I realize that I can't share what's going on in my mind with somebody. My inner life is very important for me and I have a very vivid imagination but when I can't show the people I hang out with the beautiful things I came up with in my head I suddenly feel very isolated. It's a bit of a strange reason.
Tatyana Viznyak until now I couldn't describe how I feel. You just took the words out of my mouth.
Consolata A. and Tayana Viznuak, perhaps you should look for an online creative community such as Hit Record or Deviant Art. Community and connection doesn't have to be just with people who have physical proximity.
One of my best friends moved to Australia, yet our friendship is still strong because technology allows us to stay connected and talk regularly.
Tatyana Viznyak, no i feel the same way. Specially after breaking up my with my gf.
That's what art is for.
Tatyana Viznyak I feel the same.
I felt very lonely last weekend when I left a party where everyone was paired up except me. I've been single for nearly 12 years, and the older I get, the less single men there are anywhere. No one to hug, kiss goodnight, make dinner for, etc. There is no remedy to this feeling except to find someone who wants a relationship, too. I have plenty of friends, but I still go home and sleep alone. I have great times at parties and out with my friends, but there is still no one to go home to/with.
Oh how I relate to most of this.
The only part I do not relate to is having plenty of friends! I recently moved to a rather.....conventional.....little country town, and whilst it's beautiful, it's largely populated by very conventional married couples and nuclear families. There are barely any single people - let alone single mothers like myself- which gives me this constant sense of "otherness". (This is made worse by the fact that they all see me as a "quirky" or "eccentric" person because I'm artistic).
Sure, everyone is friendly and kind, but I simply have nothing in common with them. They are always talking about their husbands and mortgages and what was on the effing TV last night, and I. DO. NOT. RELATE. AT ALL. I try to speak about my interests, but nobody "gets it". It leaves me feeling SO alone. I crave intellectually stimulating conversation . I'm sick of small talk with people I have nothing in common with. I'm so BORED with being seen as a quirky little novelty that nobody has to take seriously as an actual PERSON.
As for love, I feel as though I should just give up on that altogether, as most men my age ( or who even just share similar interests) are married. What do we do???
I'm very glad that Matthew mentioned the fact that loneliness is NOT cured simply by surrounding ourselves with indiscriminate human company. I've been trying to get that through people's heads for ages. It's no good being around people when all they do is make you feel more alone :/ As a classic introvert who cherishes her solitude, being single is not the problem. The problem is not being able to communicate on any kind of deep level with ANYONE here, and wondering if this is just it now; that it's never going to change, and that I'll never know what it's like to truly feel emotionally close to anyone ever again. Even introverts still need connection! We just need quality over quantity. And at the moment, that is not forthcoming.
Duckface McSelfy. Oh may you see this internet as part of a great thing even though people slam it. It's the way to leave the small conversations. People are saying it's ruining things yet NOW none are hostages to where they are in situations! Penpal city here!!! So many CZcams channels and people just how you describe yourself! Maybe you start a channel?? Oh I hope to our intelligent designer YOU DO!!! ??? and then the communications will open up to people even in Aruba! China! Osh cosh begosh! (I didn't look that place up) even a teen feeling awkward in a waiting room can do games, text friends communicate OUT OF THERE!! So, with introverts this can be a way. Besides, isn't is Grand children can not be in unnatural settings? Remember going into waiting room and looking for a magazine? It was that awkward stranger thing. It's not normal. But so many things we have been "winging it" in life and they do what they can for people to be comfortable and some are spacious so one can feel fine to look up and view pictures or out a window. So, you go girl!!! You are unique indeed. You are not allowing yourself to perhaps settle into to non-thinking lifestyle and instead doing art work which seriously some of the "married women" haven't seen all of your talent there and also they probably don't have the time now to even do that... They may have lost themselves into living mediocre lives... Perhaps you'll be able to see and observe how they may not be as "together" and "in love with living, life, each other" as it looks. You may in time team up with the perfect partner at first and who knows where things go? So glad you shared this!! Thank you!!
I've been really struggling with loneliness and self-worth.. especially for the past 2 months.. Thankfully my wonderful mother introduced me to your videos, Matt, and they have changed life.. still struggling but I have hope❤️ Thank you so much and love and hugs to all the rest of you feeling alone. You're never alone 🤗
This video really spoke to me! I have been dealing with feelings of loneliness lately and this was so helpful. The part about being vulnerable makes so much sense to me, and I definitely think that it is something I've been missing in my life. It is also somewhat encouraging to know that I'm not the only one who deals with the feeling of loneliness. Thank you for making this video!
I have a hard time being my complete self with people. Lately I've been feeling lonely because of this very thing. I feel most myself around my family, who have been out of town the last couple of weeks. So, I've been coming home to an empty house after work and then going to bed. I'll lie there, feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I don't have more friends or that romantic relationship that I so desperately crave. And I feel so alone. I recently met this guy at work, who I seem to have a connection with, part of me wants to tell him all my hopes and fears in this world but its very hard for me to be vulnerable with people. Slowly, I'm trying to put myself in a position I normally wouldn't be comfortable with. I don't want to feel alone. I want to love who I am and be surrounded by people that help minimize this feeling of loneliness; however, this has to start from within. I realize that and I am ready to begin this journey. Thank you for your video, right when I need it most.
Kayla Farris Hi Kayla :) Thank you for your lovely post. That's awesome that you've found someone to connect with, and I'm no Matthew Hussey, but I used to have people who I had emotional connections with that I treasured so much. We all went our separate ways, and now I'm stuck in this cycle of looking for people to have that connection with once again. When I find someone who I think would like to have one with me, I totally unload a lot on them, and it kinda scares them away hahaha
It would scare me away too. So don't do what I did. Let yourself be vulnerable with your friend, but tell him things in moderation, and let him respond back, then you'll have a conversation that'll keep on going. You're probably already doing that, and doing awesomely, but just in case, don't do what I did 😅 I hope you have a wonderful day :)
when you start being complete and not care of any imperfections that we may have, you will feel elevated. when you remove the filters and embrace yourself and back up what you want to represent, that is self trust and self growth and self reliance. Kayla, surround yourself with self love and witness more love become attracted to you. :)
It's very seldom I feel like you, that I can't be myself around others, it's a really bad track if you start to go down that road..
So every time it happens and I see a opportunity to choose to be myself again it feels like jumping off a cliff. Then I usually get a positive reaction (almost always), that makes me brave enough to jump again. After the 3-4 time I'm back on my feet.
I'm a extremely awkward person, and ppl love it. I'm everybody's friend, you know who, is "that one", and always a little bit too much. The only thing I do is to speak my mind.
Try to jump, it's fukking scary but you feel so alive
I rarely write any comment, basically this is my first time commenting on a youtube video but I relate very much with your comment and I hope My comment can be of a use to you. I was very much in your situation a few years back, I used to feel very lonely in almost every situation; feel like if I was myself people wouldn't like or worst love me so I pretended to be someone else, a masked version of me hidden my inner and truth version almost always. But a few years back I decided it was enough because the results I was getting it weren't the results I wanted. So I got into researching and find a few people I like, including Matthew (they don't know it but I deeply grateful they walk into my life) and what I learned was that I should be comfortable being silly, awkward or graceful in those moment when I'm alone. If I can be around myself in this situations and forgive myself and love and laugh myself then why can't others? And bit by bit I put myself out there. This doesn't mean I have a lot of friends, lovers or whatever but who is in my live is because I'm comfortable with them and they with me. And I truly love them all. I hope there is a day you can feel lonely because you decide that in that moment you want to be lonely, better alone with yourself. Take a baby step at a time but walk this walk, it's really fulfilling! Good luck dear! 😘
natliekla that's so beautiful, "it's fucking scary but you feel so alive " :) i agree, it feels like being alive
On one hand you are scared to be lonely, on the other hand you dont wanna get dissapointed or hurt or be addicted to someone and dont follow your own dreams anymore..
Difficult situation :)
Thanks for doing this!
Steffi Truxa same situation 😖😖😖
Same here.
Sums it up entirely 🙈
Matthew, thank you for being such a light to this world. You are helping me get through the grieving stages of a very difficult break up, where the feelings of loneliness and depression have stifled me for the last 3 days. I will continue watching your content, and know that one day I will be entirely fine. Much love. xx
Whenever I have an issue with figuring out my life, you help me Matthew 😃 Thank you for that ❤️
I feel sad and lonely every time i see how my mother is suffering and I can't help her
Sarah Nimri Your support and genuine care probably mean a lot more than you think.
Being around the ones we love and supporting them in situations where we can't really help them is probably one of the hardest things in life. It shows how strong you are you stick by their side. Keep being awesome!
I have these feelings as well
I'm with you on that one. I shut down almost every time I hang up the phone after a having a conversation with my mom. it's one of the hardest things to deal with
I think standing by her is the best thing you could do and means loads to her, I hope you both are feeling better
I feel lonely when I am in places where I had good times with my ex. Seeing other doing what I did give me a sense of isolation.Experiencing everthing again on my own is frightening but when I accomplish it I feel a billion times stronger ♡♡♡♡
I know what you mean. I feel the same way, and it's been almost a year.
I can totally relate to this! It's been almost 3 months since we broke up and it is still not easy whatsoever. :(
Claudia Pace I try to go to the places where I spent time with my ex just so that I can reclaim it for myself. It's awful to go alone but it breaks the hold they have over any 'place.' We have all been there, girl.
I feel you. I do missed the moments I had w my ex. It was lovely.
Have any of you remained friends with an ex? Do you guys think it is possible?
When I feel lonely, I know that I can come to your channel and watch a video that can lift me up. Thank you for everything you do Matthew, you’re amazing!!
This video has made my day! Loneliness and feeling of missing out on life are so painful…this video makes us realise there are so many people around going through similar emotions…it makes me feel so less lonely in my loneliness :) It’s a very warm and reassuring video! Thanks to the team ❤
Yesterday, I saw this video while i'm in a time of changes and I have to say, I do felt very alone. One day later, I talked to one of my new classmates about the lonely feeling that took place after we both moved out of our homes to the first own place, also to study in an other city. And I think, I feel less lonely now, because I opened up to this classmate and she told me how she felt too and we had a conversation about our situation. We both now feel better, because we know, that we are not alone in this situation. I think this conversation happened, because Matthew told to be vulnerable first to build this kind of connection and feel less lonely as an affect of it. I want to say thank you Matthew, you brought me a step further in my life with this lesson and for that, I can never thank you enough. ❤
I feel vulnerable and alone, especially when overwhelmed with serious life problems and the person who I thought would be there for me isn't. Yet, I could see
a complete stranger and get a smile, or just seeing someone walking their dog, knowing how connected humans and animals can be, and it changes immediately how down in the dumps I was feeling. Just today, pulling in my driveway, I stopped to let an older man and his old dog go past first and he insisted I pull in first, so I stopped and said, please, anytime you walk past my lawn, let your dog sniff all he wants and p__, as well. He smiled and was so surprised I didn't yell instead, it made my heart smile back at him. Changed immediately how I was feeling for the better. True story, don't know if it belongs here or not, but😊 here it is.
This is especially needed among men. You're a great example Matthew, and when I see how people respond to your genuineness and heartfelt energy I honestly feel better allowing myself to be my real self. I work as a paramedic in a war zone, and we have to be rough. I think and feel like you do, and I thought I was completely alone as a man - seeing your success as yourself inspires me to be my best self, and to reveal it to others knowing that it will actually be celebrated with the right people. Thank you.
So many times I've found myself coming back to this video and the original one. For years now I've struggled with loneliness and still haven't managed to build the life I want for myself but it's a nice reminder that even if I can't control it I can have some influence over how I feel. Thank you Matthew.
I think the purpose of life is never to be in a relationship or being married or having kids. there is an existential loneliness. noone sees the world as we persoally do. so if we are not comfortable on our own, no amount of people around us, or no change in our social status will bring relief. for those who are seeking authentic love connection, loneliness is actually what they asked for to be authentic. a love connection, relationship and all the love in the world will be the beauthy that comes along with the authenticity. let's cherish our loneliness. love from Turkey ;)
that's beautiful :)
Magnifique
habibe Eroğlu great thought
Wow that is deep. Thanks for sharing.
I love this comment! You're so on point. Thank you!
sometimes all i need is friends who ask me out on a friday or saturday night and enjoy our night, i feel lonely when i compare myself and my situations to other people's live.. Thank you matthew.
I think it's safe to say that comparing oneself to others is a fast route to loneliness and feeling bad about oneself. Inevitable sometimes but I try to look find inspiration from less 'surface' people and the things they do and have.
Saying "hi" to total strangers & giving a smile with warm eyes...is a great way to start. I need to practice this... because many times I act serious...around strangers...but, I'm actually not.
Great Matt, what you explain here goes wayyyyy beyond your core audience about "get the guy" and applies to "everybody with everybody".
Thank you for all your insightfull and practical videos, congrats for going beyond the "get the guy" circle, keep it up!
I'm 54. The options for dating for me are vanishingly small. I'm fine with my own company...but companionship is hard to come by. I don't have a wide circle of friends (mostly because I have a business to run, and it takes time), and I don't go out much--single older women don't exactly fit in bars in a college town, and men my age rarely can keep up with me. I'm lonely for the day-to-day companionship of a significant other, the comfort of having someone in my life that I know intimately, who knows me on a deeper level. It's so hard to meet anyone new. So many people see older women as wise, or crones, or asexual, or "mom" or "aunty" and completely ignore that we're sensual, deep, brilliant, funny and have a lifetime of learning what it means to be human to share with another person....but we're faced with men our age dating 30 year olds. It's a hard place to be. I don't want to face my older years alone, but it's looking more and more like that's what's going to happen.
Jonna Hayden Hi Jonna :) I'm still a kid learning my ways in the world, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but if I may say something, it's that maybe you're looking at men the wrong way. I used to do the same, but now I try to think that people are people, man or woman, and they both make the same mistakes just in different forms. I know it may look like men are always looking for younger people, but I am betting you that there's at least one person in your community whose not (unless you live in a really really small community, then I can understand and suggest you go out there in the city). When you're stressed and feel hopeless, it's really easy to focus on the negatives and generalize. It's really hard to do a 180 once you've developed the mindset, but if you really wanna see results, you gotta change, and just admitting that you need to change is already a big step, though it may not feel like it. For starters, that's really awesome that you run your own business, and for that to happen I'm sure you've developed a lot of independence and pride. As you should have, cuz you've done an amazing thing. But you said you feel that men can't keep up with you. Have you let them try? Be honest. If you did and they totally could not keep up, are you willing to look until you've found someone who could? You built a business. That takes a talent and a whole lot of hard work. It's the same with people and anything else. You need to be aware of what you're mindset is right now, and if you're willing to change because you want it bad enough. Matthew has a video that was a radio talk show where one of the women he talked to was a business woman, like yourself. I'm no expert, so maybe watching that video will help :) Like I said, I'm still a kid that's got a whole lot of learning to do, but I believe that everyone deserves love. And I hope you find yours out there too :) Take care
You asking us to comment on this video made me realize that on every single video is a lot of people just watching and never expressing themselves...
Maybe that is because we do not feel like we have something interesting enought to be said (we doubt our worth), we tend to think that we are somehow more messed up than others and those around us would not accept us if they knew. The truth is that the longer we live, the more we get to know that we all struggle to "make sense of it all" and we are our own toughest judge.
Life gets easier once we make peace with ourselves, heal the old wounds and find our calling.
I, myself, have been struggling with depression and anxiety for years. It felt to me like it was my biggest weakness... Something that I had to hide well enough in order to not let others find out that I am not just that hyperactive girl happily jumping around. The inner pain does not have to be visible but it most definitely does not make it less real. It took me 10 years to ask for professional help because I thought that it is my burden that I should "just" learn to carry on my own. I felt incredibly lonely because I isolated myself so much that I started to believe that pretty much everyone else is fine and, unfortunately, it is not true.
We should not assume that we know what others are going through by being familiar with their external self because chances are that we do not know. Feeling lonely is a very human experience. It ties us all together. Therefore we should all have deeper conversations (not only about lonliness but about other deepest feelings and thoughts as well) that leave us feeling more connected to each other. We should not be afraid of being vulnerable. There is nothing shameful about it. It is part of life. Nothing more or less.
Thank you for sharing your insightful perspectives on life, Matthew. There are a lot of quiet viewers that appreciate your "standard" but end up too moved to react. :) You have a positive effect on us.
"Maybe that is because we do not feel like we have something interesting enough to be said (we doubt our worth), we tend to think that we are somehow more messed up than others and those around us would not accept us if they knew" - exactly how I have felt my whole life! I am working on it and it helps to see that there are others who feel the same way. Thank you!
Vulnerability brings us together not drive us apart. :)
Good luck (and a lot of patience) on your journey! 😊
That really brought my tears... thank you 🙏🏽 so true
i feel the same until know i'm searching for a healing answer . your sharing here mean a lot thank you
+Stephanie Mac Lean I was repeating those words. so powerful - the fact Im in this exact situation.. and the use of words.. i wouldnt put them together like that yet described it perfectly
Thank you Matthew. You always make us feel that it is okay to have these "negative emotions" and that we can still find a way to bounce back brighter.
"Loneliness is an emotion" .. it is amazing how we ALL feel it just like every other emotion just like love, joy, hate, anger ... etc and people connect over those emotions ..
I've always been afraid of telling others exactly how I feel and just now I realized that it made me feel even more lonely and disconnected to others .. and even sometimes made me feel like a bad person for holding back and pretending that I had everything under control ..
thank you so much Matthew for these lovely reminders on how we are all going through the same thing and how to fight it and overcome it to live our best life.
Much love from Saudi Arabia to you :))
Because I'm not necessarily the best with people. My connection with most people is superficial. So when I can connect profoundly with someone... I live for that.
same here!
I was very hesitant to leave a comment, though I feel like I should. I love these types of videos because it helps others come to a realization that while you may feel lonely in whatever situation, there is a way to over come it. To those who submitted comments and videos, I hope things get better for you.
Now, I'll share something that happened to me last night. I was watching this movie and right in the middle of it a main character triggered a person who had meant the world to me. I loved this person, shared a lot of my life with this person until last year.
Its so strange how one person can think they found their person, yet actions of another speak otherwise. And when you confront them, and they say "I'm afraid of commitment" you kind of start to think, "Is it that he really is, or is it me?" meanwhile, he's now in a relationship with someone else...
Loneliness starts to fill you, and while the loss of this person was over a year ago, there are still things that are triggering to me and I feel myself being back to the heartache I once felt.
While its hard, Matthew is right. You have to put yourself in situations to get you out of that rut of loneliness or invest more time in you! Because there will be no one who will put you first, if you don't.
Investing in yourself, and do the things you love purely because you love it will help you feel less alone. Seeking validation in others, will never get you there.
I love going for a walk or run around the block, without my phone. Reading a book at a library or book store and actually feel the pages turn as I go from one scene to the next. Listening to new music, dancing, eating at a new restaurant I've been dying to try and not shaming myself for being alone, or going to that movie I thought looked good and ugly crying in the theater by myself because its what I now love to do!
There are ways we can try to manipulate our loneliness based on the circumstances, we just have to know how to get there and of course when to ask for appropriate help.
Peace and love my friends,
Xo -S.E
SableEllen that’s just so beautiful
Watching this while I'm sitting at the beach by myself. Everyone around me is with their mate or their family and friends. Sometimes the loneliness hits hard. Thank you for your encouragement ❤️
I saw this after two years though I've been following Matthew for longer, one thing I can say about it and about everything he provides is that he truely helped me to change my WHOLE LIFE
It is first time I comment here .. I think you have to be a friend to yourself , build a real connection with yourself ..
Sometimes I enjoy being alone .. I enjoy and laugh at my humor .. loneliness is losing connection to outside or inside world..
Thank you Matthew Hussey
High End I so agree. I usually feel most lonely when I'm feeling lost. But when I'm not lost, able to see me, enjoy my own company, and be my own friend I'm content. It's then I'm better at reaching out and connecting with others.
Simple but difficult
i like your answer. its very true as well
I often feel the most lonely when I'm surrounded by others because I know they don't understand me & I'm constantly reminded of how normal, healthy people are so carefree & miss that luxury. I was diagnosed with severe Crohns disease & my entire life has changed. Most of the basic things healthy people my age do I can't. I just can't relate to most because I have such a different outlook on life. I am very thankful for all I've learned but feel extremely isolated most of the time. This video & the later really resonates with me. I know my worth & won't settle for less which means muy standards are high & I'm constantly disappointed. I always look forward to your videos & get inspired. Thank you for everything you do, you're an amazing person. 💕
Matthew, I have watched so many of your videos and many alike. It has seriously helped me change my mindset! I have come out of one of the most traumatic and difficult times in my life. I have completely changed. I am so thankful and grateful to have seen them. I can’t wait to see more.
I’ve been feeling lonely recently because I lost my fiancé over a year ago to unknown causes. It’s been really hard but these videos have been so helpful. Matt, I even watched episodes of your TV show about the 4 women who were already married and divorced and the one wife Nikki really connected with me. I really took to heart the lessons you taught her so thank you for that. I’m really trying to work on myself and make myself happy because I know now that happiness comes from yourself and not from someone else. Plus I’ve learned from you the energy you put out is the energy you draw in so I’m definitely trying that.
Matthew, I'm a long (long) time fan, a therapist in training, and aspiring coach. Even though I'm in a long-term relationship, I watch your videos every week because I appreciate your perspective and find what you have to say deeply meaningful (and totally fun, by the way). Today, I'm watching in the few minutes I have before I go take care of my mother, who is suffering from ALS. We talk a lot about her loneliness and shame around being a burden to those around her. Throughout my life, she and my dad have been so used to being there for everyone else that, now that they're vulnerable, they don't know how to truly be in connection with others. I think you've really touched on something important in the connection between loneliness, vulnerability, and self-worth. I would venture to say that shame also plays a part in this. There's a big difference between solitude and withdrawal. Our beliefs about ourselves can be so shame-based that sometimes we isolate even when we don't intend to. The paradox is that it's often in the times we most want to connect that we act in ways that are contrary to our goals. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this. These are struggles we all share and can benefit from talking about. Cheers, M.
Thank you for sharing your family situation and insights. You will make a terrific coach. I read and reread to digest the many concepts you covered. I wonder if you spend a bit of time letting your mother hear all you have learned through life, your accomplishments, and attribute a portion back to her, if she can see find value in herself just for being her.
beautiful comment. and describes my feelings exactly. how do I share I'm lonely when I'm ashamed to admit it?
Indeed. It's much easier to convince yourself otherwise than to face those painful feelings.
Much appreciated, TSTT. Thank you for your insights and encouragement.
Hi. I don't usually comment.
I feel lonely on Saturday nights when I don't have dates not even plans with friends.
I wish there was a way of getting to know people. I don't know how.
I also feel I'm from another time because I don't value superficial things and I like reading and talking and learning.
I should have been born some centuries ago
María Ximena Cuesta i feel the same.
Maria, I feel the same.
María Ximena Cuesta I also sometimes feel lonely on Saturday and Friday nights when other people are excited for the weekend to be spending it with friends or their S.O. I just try to remind myself that I'm at a different phase than they are, I've gone through that going out and having fun and cuddling with my bf during the weekends stage and it was nice but I can also be happy with just being by myself and grabbing whatever food I want to eat that night and watch my favorite TV show and go to bed how early I want to. I mean I guess life is all about perspective. I try to remind myself of all the good things of being single brings me, I don't have to shave my legs all the time, I can order what I want when I want, I can go wherever whenever , etc.
Maria... thanks for your comment, you are not alone!
María Ximena Cuesta You're not from another time. I also don't value superficial things. I love to read, continually learn, and have deep thoughtful conversations. There are many people who do. You just have to go and find them.
Thanks the people who share their vulnerabilities out there like that. Thanks Matthew for creating this platform where we all can safely share our stories and together build each others up. I just lost someone who i really thought was the one but it didn't work out. Social media makes my loneliness worst. I think social media is the main factor which makes us feel unimportant, insignificant and gives us the FOMO ( Fear of missing out ). I just want people who read this to know that you are enough, i am enough, we are enough. We all have fears, we all feel misunderstood at some point, we all have our emotional fractures inside and everything we are experiencing right now, good or bad is contributing to the expansion of our universal conciousness as a whole. Your story will teach me something that I haven't experienced yet and vice versa. So in a spiritual perspective, we all matter because our circumstances are unique and important for everyone else. So thanks for sharing and teaching me something new everyday :)
Thanks so much for your insight of loneliness. Yeah, you’re right. I watch and listen to your episodes all the time, but never left any comment, so I decided to leave a comment by saying “THANK YOU” for your significant work you’ve been doing for us in this community.
I feel lonely when people take advantage of my kindness. When they don't understand the sacrifices I am willing to do for them without needing anything back. They think I'm rich and have lots of gain. I feel lonely when people don't understand me. I feel lonely when I'm not appreciated. That's why sometimes I don't feel lonely when I AM alone. But I learned a valuable lesson, that there is virtue in giving too.
I watch your videos with my hubby, we both love you! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts ♥️. Hugs from Mexico 🇲🇽 City 🇲🇽
me three :) @MatthewHussey
@MatthewHussey ... Hi there Sir Matthew! I'm from Philippines...I am always watching your videos. It helps a lot particularly in building self confidence & accentuating self worth. Thank you for your advices & efforts. Godbless! 😊
Hope your ok Florencia praying for mexico city ❤
I recently stumbled upon your videos and now I watch you regularly or whenever I'm in need of some advice. You've already helped me to take steps that were necessary for my own happiness and I want to thank you for that :) Whenever I'm in doubt or feel bad about myself or I might want to go back to a guy who wasn't right for me, I come to you. I'm so grateful that I came across your channel.
You keep me on the right track and believe in my self worth.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for this video Matthew!! You truly are an inspiration! And you truly have enlightened me on how loneliness can be a good thing! It has encouraged me so much to embrace my solitude to become more positive in my circumstances. I plan on watching this video again to be encouraged. Sincerely, April
Watching your videos always makes me feel less alone because it feels like you really understand how I feel. Thank you for your insights and thoughtfulness!
Feels good to know I'm not alone in feeling lonely.
Thank you so much your videos help me get by
One of the things that make Matthew’s videos is really different from others’ is that you can feel comforted genuinely and warm just like your really good friend is talking to you because he does care about you. I felt exactly those things again this morning, on the way to work.
There's lots of people feeling loneliness, I was one of them. But there's always, always, always good people, angels, that help us to love ourselves and that feeling of being by myself from time to time, became just wonderful. God bless you Matt.
Every week you post something that applies to my life, how do you do it Matthew? You're amazing! You always say just what I need to hear
I was going through a breakup when I first saw your video (I don't remember which one it was). But it really helped me heal. I watch almost all your videos. You are helping a lot pf people. Keep it up. Thanks.
Devansh Gupta yea I've been watching him for so long before and after my break up, and I feel like now he's talking about more meaningful topics like relationships with other people and relationships with ourselves and how to navigate life. He really helped me too with dealing with my break up , I think break ups are so hard to deal with.
my favorite videos of yours are the castle, trashcan, warmth, and bliss points videos. Keep up the good work!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this video. Going trough my first heartbreak right now makes me feel very lonely at evenings and nights. It’s only the last few days where I don’t feel lonely every hour and after watching this video I found a bigger hope in moving on. Once again, thank you so much for giving me hopes about a brighter future! ❤️
There are almost 2800 comments already. Will mine matter? 😅
This is the video you should watch in autumn, when it's constantly raining and the sun doesn't come out and you question yourself, is it going to be like that forever? Thanks for the video, it made the whole atmosphere in my room much warmer 🙂
ARKUENE you helped me today gracias 💜
Yes you mattered to me. I will watch the video in the fall in my new city :) ❤️
I agree, I’m watching this video on a rainy cold day and it definitely made me feel better and reading the comments.
Sending hugs and love! Xo
Yes! Yours matters!
Hi all you beautiful people :)
Hello Orsi :))
Awww you're making me blush :)
thank you orsi, right back at ya
Very rarely you come across a video that is worthwhile, solves all your problems, sticks with you and makes you feel better about yourself. This is one such video. Its great and i connected to it on every level. Thank you matthew for bringing us such a lovely video. Its indeed a cure to my lonliness that i was going through at this point in my life. And the previous video about the same subject was phenomenal as well.
Dear Matt, I was on your amazing retreat five years ago. 'My life and I' are much changed for the better... It stopped me from putting up a big front with people and guys which was hardened habit and a complex legacy issue. It's wonderful to have your guidance on loneliness here and a big reminder to take risks and not expect 'payback'...THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR INCREDIBLE INSIGHTS! K
Matthew, i know most of your target audience is women but being a man, I still enjoy watching your videos. I literally, wait for your videos, like i wait for game of thrones or suits's episode. I moved to Australia nearly year and half ago. Since then, life has been a roller coater ride juggling with work and uni is been stressful but at the same time when, you don't have anyone to come home to, Specially, when you see no one around with whom, you can speak your heart out and be open to. Being a brown gay guy in small town like Brisbane, is not easy at all when you are not white enough for the country. After facing lot of racism and rejection just because they judge me from where I come (INDIA) is distressing and eventually, it makes you feel unworthy and you begin to hate yourself and question your roots. There is much more to me then curries and spices which doesn't even suit my gut hahaha. you asked us to be vulnerable here I am and your videos inspire me to love myself and i think, its working.
Feel so much better and productive but sometimes,I have my down phase and then i would wish for someone to be around.
aakarsh arora A big smile and a hug for you! There are lovely people like you out there waiting to meet you : )
Allthe dovesssing thank you so much. Your hug and smile Means a lot, appreciate it :)
Lots of love Aakarsh. You are worthy!
Just writing to let you know that as I was scrolling down reading the comments on this video finding it overwhelmingly comforting that I'm not the only one feeling this way, I feel like it was fate that I read yours. I'm in Brisbane at uni studying at the moment, waiting for the GOT finale tomorrow and my digestive system also can't handle spices. Crazy coincidences! Going through a rough patch separating from my long term boyfriend I know how it feels to not have anyone to connect with and pour your heart out too and come home to at the end of the day. Reading your comment made me feel a little less alone.
Cherise Swanson I can completely understand how you feel. Break up sucks. For the record, I am a great listener, feel free to message. If you ever feel like taking to someone. I strongly hope that things get better at your end. Can’t wait to see got tomorrow
This is beautiful Matthew! You have such a warm and loving energy... Everytime I watch your videos I take notes like crazy and I feel like you are just talking to me, PLEASE keep doing what you are doing, finding your channel has been such a positive impact in my life❤️❤️ Ps: This is the first time I comment in one of your videos, lots of love from Argentina.
I watch your two videos about loneliness every morning before I leave home. I am studying abroad and living on my own and have not seen my family since last year and I don‘t have any time to hang out with my friends . These two vids make my days and nights . I really like them . Thanks Matthew.
What a beautiful way to start my morning, I hear you and connect with you Matthew Hussey clan.
Matthew you create such a healthy discussion within a supportive and uplifting environment- thank you. Love your videos!
I'm a 19 year old guy and yes I too feel lonely at points. Even with the friends and activities, loneliness always seems to sneak itself up on me. Your videos inspire me, giving me a confidence to conquer my loneliness for the good
Loneliness...What a feeling!!! I am watching your video and i can't stop crying...OMG...I have everything, I am very attractive woman, with good job, very social person but soooo lonely in my personal and love life...feel like being in a prison...sleeping with handsome young men, but all they are players...i don't want this at my 30s...I want someone to spend time together, to share my feelings...someone who will be there for me and ask me "How are you? How was your day?" "I want to be with you now to have my arms around you"...I feel so Lonely...
nagilove1 Totally can relate to your situation cuz I'm going through the same phase. Ever since my man has walked out of our marriage, I've always been lonely. I may not be Matthew but all I can say is sleeping with good looking men wouldn't help cuz that's temporary. Infact it would hurt u cuz ya letting someone play with ya soul. U r expecting emotional connection but they are takin the advantage of u. Pray hard n give ya soul n body to someone who luvs u. We don't deserve heartbreaks anyway. Sorry to say but we live in a harsh world.
This is my life too. I just always find myself wanting more. I need meaningful lasting relationships with people and potential partners, and find myself being drawn to people who end up hurting me due to my intense desire to avoid being alone. It is a vicious cycle. How do women like us find quality people to spend our time with? Does Matthew have a video on that??
You just described me. I live your exact life but Im 45. Im good enough to sleep with but not good enough to be loved. I stopped the booty calls and try to get out and socialize but yet Im the only one going to events alone. That is the worst part. The old single girl. Im not asked out ever. Im constantly alone at home. I love my friends but I find myself making up excuses why I cant go out as it's a horrible feeling being in a room full of great people who love me but yet Im by myself. No single men around or I get hit on by married ones. I just go home.
What on earth are you doing sleeping around when you want to find someone permanent? That won't work and you will only end up in a very bad place. That will never work.
@@elizabethmaillet4266 try positive affirmations, 'you' re worth it', you have to see it first. I'm in a similar situation, but kind of resigned.. Although I look way younger nobody talks to me. Why is it not good enough to be kind hearted and honest?
Thank you so much for your kindness and empathy, Matthew. I love being part of this 'community'.
Matthew, you are amazing! I bought your book because I had just failed my 4th serious adult relationship - the latest lasting 15 years when in retrospect, it shouldn't have lasted 3 months. I felt that if I was ever going have a successful relationship, I need to be different which I mistakenly believed to be more agreeable, more loveable, more accommodating, more forgiving, more tolerant, more accepting, more flexible, more fun... Essentially, less me. I got your book on tape and finished it in just a few days - and then went back and listened to it again, and again. I've watched to nearly all of your videos - I get so excited when I come across I've I have seen yet! Through your coaching, I have realized the best path to any great relationship - intimate or companionable - is to actually be MORE me! To show people the real me and to value myself and my standards. As a result of your coaching, I am four months in to the best relationship of my life! Our connection is so strong and continues to grow every day. We both feel safe to share ourselves - We talk about big stuff, little stuff, hopes, dreams, fears, deep, intimate secrets that were too scary to share with anyone else before. We work and play together, we laugh a cry together - we spend time alone together, with all of our friends who have now become mutual friends and we never lose connection in our separate times. It's truly amazing! Just like you are, Matthew, AMAZING! I can't even begin to thank you for all you have given me. Even my relationships with my friends and family are deeper and more meaningful now because of the perspective you have given me. If I ever had another kid, I'd name it Matthew and teach it to talk with a British accent!! (Lucky for her, that's not possible 😂) You're the Best - keep on with your truly inspiring work. You make a difference!
Matthew, your awesome. The world needs more love! thank you for helping us share it.
I am not one to usually comment but you asked. I sometimes have a hard time opening up to people because I used to be bullied and then psychologically bullied when I was married. I've created all these walls to protect myself that I have a hard time letting people in. Vulnerability is a true way of connecting with people and I agree because I also notice that in my line of work. I have been feeling this immense feeling of loneliness that stems from the thought or feeling of rejection. It's a tough feeling and over the past 2 years I've been through a divorce, career change, and a couple bad relationships. Sometimes yoh just want to stay home and not interact with people because that will make it easier. Thank you for posting this video and letting me know I'm not alone.
I never comment on videos but Matthew this is so relatable!! It’s been five weeks into university and I have never felt so lonely in my life for a long period of time. I havent found a meaningful connection in uni yet. Although i have a friend i met, I can’t communicate the things I care about to her or other people i meet. I realised that my loneliness stems from not knowing my self worth, as I am in a new environment. I dont open up as easily or show my vulnerability to others as I think it would be seen as something negative. However, When i had those rare, meaningful conversations with some people at uni, i smiled, feeling the warmth envelop me. And it is these moments that made me feel alive. I realise now that we were both vulnerable in some way, allowing me and the other person to connect on a level. I will see vulnerability as a standard now, not based on reciprocity and something that needs to be initiated by me. I cant wait for others to he vulnerable to me. I can invite them to be when I show vulnerability.
Thank you! Always there when I need support to get through tough times in my life... Sending you light,warmth and gratitude. All the best,Matthew. Keep on inspiring
I just miss having someone to hold or to hold me. It's so hard being strong all on your own. And the feeling of being stuck where you are by circumstances intensifies that feeling 10fold because you can't make the changes you need.
YES!!!!!! We can't change our situations. Its awful
Hey, how are you now? I see you posted this 11 months prior. I am in a similar situation right now. If you wanna talk and help each other move on, I would be happy to connect with you.
I miss having someone to hold and cuddle with as well.
I've been so upset and been feeling so lonely all day today in an unhealthy relationship and few friends. And this notification just popped up... I'm so glad you came to help x
Candy Q I
Candy Q we are exactly same! My friend
x cuite it's difficult x
Candy Q me too. I understand you. It's so difficult and I am crying to write this for you. You are not alone. One day we will see the sun again
unhealthy relationships makes us lose friends. be strong and stand up for yourself woman. protect yourself. get yourself out of that mess. rely on yourself. trust yourself.
Throughout my growth, I tried to open up to people. I got hurt, and hurt again. So, I thought that closing off would be the best option.
However, this video made me realize all of the beautiful moments and people that have, or are in my life. I feel that when I walk outside next time, I will be able to look directly at someone briefly and smile. I want to let myself create even more beautiful moments and I no longer want to hide from everyone.
Thank you for making these videos. You have really opened up a new door in life for not just myself, but many others! 💕
Thank you Matthew. Thanks to you and this beautiful community that we've all created I went from an closed-in introvert to someone who cherish every social opportunity. I'm not longer afraid to show my real self, not longer afraid to show my vulnerability, no longer afraid of rejection. I love your videos, they are so empowering and caring. You are wonderful as a coach and if people (not only women) stick to your advice, I know that their lives can be so much better, fun and authentic. I'm saying 'hi' from Argentina. Thank you Matthew! And thank you girls from all over the world. Today is a gift. Enjoy it :)
You're the coolest MAN I've ever seen. Thank you Matthew you brighten up my day 😘😘
I feel lonely when I realize all my friends are engaged and are in serious relationships. That gives me a bad signal about myself. All of a sudden i see my friends going away from me and myself in the same exact position where nothings really happening.
hey Ayesha.
There is another video of Matthew that says that we shoudn´t compare ourselves with others or the relationships of others, as we don´t know what is happening in those relationships. We are just seen the outside of it. And them tomorrow they can break up, and they will have to deal with the grieve, and you will be a year ahead of them. So don´t compare to others. Just think that that someone will show up. The least moment that u think about it.
Have a nice day.
I loved it! It’s so true, I remember walking in DC last year and people smiling at me... I was caught off guard that it kept happening...it did stay with me and now I have made a conscious effort to pay it forward! Thanks Matthew for using your incredible communication skills for good
-Liz Santamaria
I started to watch your videos when I felt very lonely and misunderstood. Now every time I get sad and insecure I watch some of your videos and your words are seriously so inspiring and helpful.
Thank you for this wounderful video and the amazing ppl in it.😊
Hi, I just finished taking a shower and I'm laying in bed crying thinking of how miserable I am and how lonely I am, it's 23 local time eveynight I feel the same if I don't say the whole day... I live with my family but they don't get me and they don't understand me I do I always lack my self in my room and avoid interacting with them cause I'll be so angry afterwords like a teenager even thought a crossed that age, and this feeling keeps just growing and growing I don't have much friend and this started after a bad brake up where I wanted to stay far from people cause I didn't want to be hurt again .... I was afraid to feel the pain gain....
I have been following you for a long time now Matthew cause I still wonder why I couldn't get the man that I wanted....i just saw your video and it's just you are talking to me right now...thank you so much even though it's just words through a screen but it helps
Thank you
Hey there, I’m going through the same thing. It’s the most humiliating situation. So helpless, lonely, isolated and
now festering anger. My family told me The most horrible things now and then growing up that were so shocking and debasing that now I’m alone and lonely they just don’t stop. They are treating me like a teenager on top of it, and I’m 37 - I’ve worked so hard to succeed and now deep seeded anger is starting grow because I’m tired of being forced into omega position against my will. I’m not an omega, I’m ambitious, successful, resourceful and pretty hot so the fact everything they set me up to be is coming true is now making me fester anger and resentment. “All you have to do is look at a boy, and his ball will retract into his body and run the other way” “the only man who will love you is someone who hits you” (I was 10yo). I was so shocked they both came out of no where. im só disappointed in life. Nice ppl do finish last.
mariidee2 nicely said nice ppl do finish last....this life has never been fair..i feel that I don't deserve to be in such family too... now I'm really braking the point towards depression, if I don't do what that want it never pleases them...and they keep criticizing so even if I pretend I don't care but inside of me I'm dying... cause of them I become so fragile and weak...
mina che I can so relate to this. Break up and family situation. Most of the times i REALLY want to get out of my body. Family hasnt been understanding and the guy who i thought would understand, just decided it was time to quit as i had too many issues. Despite doing all i could. Keeping hope is REALLY difficult for me right now.
Thank you so much for sharing your stories ! It is really inspiring ! I totally understand your situation ! Break ups are really breaking you inside ! You don't know what to do and who to turn to. You feel like you can't even talk to your closest friends or even your own family :/ you prefer to be alone then to be hurt by someone again ! But I love your comment that says that you're pretty hot :p I think our confidence can be our greatest weapon! I hope everything is going to get better for you both !
mina che how are you now, Mina. I'm sorry for what happened and I can relate to the not many friends after a bad break up. I'm going through it right now too. And I'm basically anxious everyday especially after waking up at the middle of night or in the morning. It's like , oh no, need to deal with those anxiety and confusion and stress again for whole day...
This Video came up on my feed today 26th August 2019. I am in Kilkenny City Ireland and was here to Help at a Wedding.
I am alone here and I am feeling lonely with no significant other.
However I am Sitting at a Bar and just had my Lunch and thought why not,
I would comment. I know what Mathew said is truly important.
However I want to add that my confidence is getting stronger to venture out in the world as a single woman and there is nothing wrong with it and taking chances with being warm and inviting and I would talk to anyone. Life is tough but I am staying strong and for anyone reading this Just know there is a lovely Irish lady here that is saying hello and you can always say hello back. that's weird that it's nearly 2 years to the day that this video was published.
I've always thought that vulnerability is the highest form of intimacy. And that showing real emotions to people without fear of being judged or being seen as desperate is the kind of life I really wanna live. It's liberating. 💗 If people could just open up and be vulnerable, we eliminate fear, our world would be a better place.