How to Hook Your Reader & Write Better College Essay Openings
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- čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
- In this video, I'll show you 9 creative techniques to make sure the opening (AKA hook) of your college essay helps you stand out. I'll also share 4 common openings you want to avoid, as well as my all-time favorite college essay opening.
00:00 Intro and what we’ll cover
00:25 4 common essay opening mistakes
02:01 The full Hemingway opening
02:44 The mini Hemingway opening
03:56 The twist opening
04:56 The philosophical question
05:41 The confession opening
06:37 The trailer opening
07:39 The fascinating concept opening
08:31 The random personal fun fact opening
09:07 The shocking image opening
10:32 My favorite opening to the college essay
11:27 The key to an awesome personal statement
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I’m Ethan (College Essay Guy) and my goal is to bring more ease, joy, purpose, and access to the college admission process. I wrote two Amazon bestsellers on college essays and each year my team and I reach more than 1MM students and counselors via www.collegeessayguy.com.
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👍🏻 Your likes & comments tell CZcams this is quality content and help me grow the channel. Clicking the notification bell 🔔will ping you when a new video comes out. And please feel free to share with friends. Thanks, y’all. Stay curious.
I love that you show real examples, some of them with gramatical errors and pretty average vocabulary, but rich in content. I always used to see these CZcams videos of people reading "the essay that got them into [insert college here]" and I was like "Well, if I had that vocabulary and those grammatical and spelling skills, I could be talking about a spoon and it would sound interesting." But your videos have taught me that you don't need to have a whole dictionary up your sleeve... you just need to have a good topic and know how to organize the info so it sounds interesting.
Yes! That is a great takeaway. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much! I just got my very first acceptance letter which included a 140,000 dollar merit scholarship and I honestly could not have done it without your help!! 18 more college decisions to come, wish me luck!
That is amazing! Congrats to you! Thanks so much for sharing. :)
that's amazing! if you don't mind me asking, what college was that?
@@cucumberwater6 (They're lying, did some quick research and NO colleges in the US offer over 100,000 in merit scholarships..)
Thank you for the content.
While others charge 100 dollars to help with the essays it is hard to believe that the content you put in is free.
Thanks for chiming in! We're all about accessibility and equity at College Essay Guy. So glad we could help. :)
The opening to my college essay if I ever had to write one:
I time travel on a regular basis. I usually go back in time but occasionally I go to the future. Ive marched with Caesar's legions, commanded the Allied armies as they landed in Normandy, and laid in wait to ambush the enemy in the steamy jungles of Vietnam. I've fought a Third World War in Europe that (thankfully) never was and stood up to hordes of North Korean soldiers streaming south in a second Korean War.
I play and collect historical wargames.
Awesome! Thanks for sharing, John!
This video helpe me get accepted into my top choice of college along with a merit scholarship! Definitley wish I had seen this video sooner, thanks for creating it and giving such good advice! :)
That's awesome! You're so welcome!
Grateful that my school counselor suggested me this channel, Ethan you are awesome!!
Love hearing that! Thanks for watching.
same senghhhhhhhh
The ease with which you narrated the examples is really impressive. Thank you for this video.
Glad you liked it!
I'm going to use the mini Hemingway in my essay! Thanks for these Ethan. Greatly appreciated
You're welcome! :)
I'm here from today's session, and I appreciate that you care for students applying to universities. I am really happy that I found all of your resources. They are so useful, thank you!!
Welcome!
Your content is amazing, thank you so much for your insights and ideas
I appreciate that! Thanks for watching.
Another super practical video to share with my students. I've been binge-watching while doing a weights workout #multitasking
Love that! Thanks for watching and sharing. :)
Love your videos, they are really helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for watching!
Your videos are so so helpful, thank you so much! I am restarting my personal statement and deadlines are in two days! Hopefully, I can do it!
You got this! Thanks for watching. :)
I absolutely love this MAN, he’s a true inspiration and teacher Thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾.
Wish me good luck for my next Masters admission, which is different program than that of I learned in bachelors.
Best of luck!
This was my first video I watched from your channel and I subscribed already cause you went right away to the point in the video and I didn't have to hear any "filler"
Thanks for watching (and subscribing)!
Thank you so much for the tricks!
You're welcome! Thanks for watching. :)
Here because I’m currently writing a school essay and this has massively helped me.
Thank you so much for the great work.
Thanks for being here!
If there’s a way I could show you my essay, I’m certain you’d love it.
If there’s a way I could show you my essay, I’m certain you’d love it.
Thanks for this video. So helpful :)
You're so welcome!
Thanks so much, I'm learning.😊
Awesome!
Hey - thanks for the tips!
No problem! Thanks for watching.
The video was amazing. I'm gonna use the last one on my my college essay
Awesome! Thanks for watching.
I have an essay tomorrow this rlly helps thank you so much 😊
Happy to help!
Was thinking of opening mine which is for Grad school with a poem that I love
Careful about accidental plagiarism! If you include an entire poem (written by someone else) as your introduction, it might trigger plagiarism detectors.
BROOOOOOOOOOOOO
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
THANK GOD I CAME TO THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I ALMOST GAVE UP ON MY STORY, NOW I WROTE PERFECT STATEMENT.
Awesome :)
Thanks teacher , you’re so ****** good :)
Thank you! 😃
Every good deed is a charity. "Prophet Mohammad Peach be upon him". Thank you for your free and amazing content, Mr. Ethan.
Thanks for watching!
great vid
Thanks for watching!
thankk you
You're welcome!
Amazing video. Btw do you have college essay review service?)
Yes indeed! If you’re curious about signing up for one-on-one support, you’re welcome to schedule a time to learn a bit more. Please fill out the form on this page and Devon from our team will get back:
www.collegeessayguy.com/college-essay-review-services
Hey! Do u have any video/article on Boston University Trustee Scholarship essay. There r 2 topics for that:
i) Howard Thurman, who was the dean of BU’s Marsh Chapel from 1953-1965, once wrote: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Can you describe a particular experience you have had or an activity that you participate in that makes you come alive? How would you try to integrate that experience or activity into your time at BU?
ii) Describe a time when you felt out of your comfort zone or marginalized in a situation. How did you respond to that moment and how has it informed your actions moving forward?
At the moment, I don't have a specific resource for the BU Trustee scholarship essays, but I do have a blog post on my website that covers scholarship essays. www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/how-to-write-a-scholarship-essay
Hello! I really like your videos and the tips are useful! They helped me so much throughout my journey! However, I had a question. What is the point of twist openings? Isn't that some extra information?
Hi there! Thanks for writing in. There are a few reasons why someone may use a hook or a "twist opening" in their essay. It really depends on the student and the message of the essays. Usually though, the point is to pique the interest of the reader and make them excited to keep reading. :)
@@Collegeessayguy Got it! Thank you so much!
I just love the way that “alright take it easy” sounds ☺️
Thanks for watching!
Hey Ethan,
When explaining one of the introductions, you said you’ll add a link on how to prevent the listeners interest from fading away. Could you drop that link. I will appreciate it.
Hi! The link is included in the description, but in case you missed it, here it is again! www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/how-to-start-college-essay
In an essay about academic interests, is it really necessary to talk about one thing?
Can I incorporate multiple subjects and stitch them to create a diversity of interests?
It depends on the wording of the prompt. If you're a rule follower and the prompt asks for one academic subject, (like UC 6 does,) it may be a good idea to write about just one. Hope this helps!
❤❤thankyou
You're welcome!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate what are you doing. How can I get your books in PDF version, because Amazon delivery to my house lasts up to 30 days
Hi there! Thanks for asking. Unfortunately, we cannot provide a PDF version of our books due to copyright issues. The good news is: you can buy the electronic/Kindle version of the book here: www.amazon.com/College-Admission-Essentials-Step-Step-ebook/dp/B08CQKX9SL/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658949605&sr=1-1-5e1b2986-06e6-4004-a85e-73bfa3ee44fe
Even if you don't have a Kindle, there are other free apps that may be compatible with the electronic version of our book. Hope this helps!
Do you have any links to some good example essays I could look at? I have an idea but I think my essay structure just isn't good and I'm struggling to connect my ideas as I've never been a strong writer.
Oh, do we? We do! Here are a few:
www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/college-essay-examples
www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/how-to-write-a-college-essay
www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/common-app-essay-examples
www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/personal-statement-examples
Hope this helps!
Just watched the webinar
Thanks for being here. :)
hey, I am writing a montage structure essay would I still use the same types of openings?
Yep, these tips + openings can be used in montage essays.
Please is it possible for you to write the body of the essay before the introduction because often times I don’t know where my essay is headed till I’m done with it
Yep, that's a valid technique.
I want to write my opening statement using the fascinating concept opening. I’m confused because you said on the video you can read the rest of the essay about the crayfish yet the link in bio does not include the full essay. I would like to figure out how to advance into connecting the concept to your personal life.
We only have permission to share the introduction of that student's essay. Our apologies!
Hi..... can u write your personal statement in the third person or can you write it in both first and third person
It's typically written in first person, but there is room for creativity!
Hi, can I write about how I didn't let my small size stop me from achieving my goals? Like competing and winning a position that has always been won by girls with certain physical features?
That topic could work! A good question to ask yourself is: "Does this topic demonstrate the skills, qualities, values, and interests I offer the school as an incoming student?"
If yes, then start outlining and writing your first drafts. If no, go back to brainstorming!
do your essays have to be related to your intended major or what you want to do in the future
Nope :), it can just be about you
Nah, it can be about anything. Just express yourself👍
+1 to what those other folks said!
what are your thoughts on using a quote they have probably never heard before “Preoccupied with a single leaf……you won't see the tree. Preoccupied with a single tree… you'll miss the entire forest.” - Takehiko Inoue.
That could work!
Is there a problem if I begin my personal essay with a history about the college I am applying for before using these techniques you shared on your video on my second paragraph? Pls I need answers
Im not an expert but im pretty sure thats not a good idea because the colleges are looking for information about you, they already know about themselves.
You'll be submitting your personal statements to ALL of the colleges you apply to, so I wouldn't recommend this strategy for opening your essay. The admissions readers at the schools you're applying to will already know everything about their school, and they'd rather hear more about YOU.
How can introspection be made distinct when essays are supposed to be written in response to questions. In a case where a student needs to provide three essays in response to three questions? Is it necessary to provide introductions?
No introductions needed! You can get right into it, especially with supplemental essays. This video is more geared towards personal statements. I recommend writing your personal statement for prompt #7 in Common App - topic of your choice. That way, you can be in control of what you share and how.
hey sometimes writing something simple goes a long way, I wrote about a bowl of oatmeal :)
Love that!
I have Autism and Bipolar disorder with COMPERHENDING issues as well. But I want to write a great essay for Lancaster bible college.
Why I picked that college besides them not downgrading me because I am different from the rest of the word and me having Autism isn't a sin.
That topic could work! A good question to ask yourself is: "Does this topic demonstrate the skills, qualities, values, and interests I offer the school as an incoming student?"
If yes, then start outlining and writing your first drafts. If no, go back to brainstorming!
Are these suitable for both SOP and personal statement?
There is some nuance with writing a personal statement vs. a SOP. We have a video with advice on SOPs here: czcams.com/video/-iM0XVw3JWs/video.html&pp=ygUmc3RhdGVtZW50IG9mIHB1cnBvc2UgY29sbGVnZSBlc3NheSBndXk%3D
Sir how do you choose a career?
Well, it depends! What do you want to get out of your future career? Money? Emotional fulfillment? Connection to your life purpose? The abillity to help and impact others through your work?
Spend some time brainstorming what a career looks like to you, and begin researching your ideas! That's our suggestion. :)
Pls I'm an international student wanting to apply to university of Pennsylvania, pls i wanna know if these letters re to be type and upload, pls explain to me I'm perplex
You're most likely going to submit all of your college essays and applications through the Common App. I would suggest you do some researching on their website directly for more guidance on how to use their website.
Or you can check out my free blog post guide on the Common App here: www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/common-app
I want to write an essay about challenge so please advise me
Check out our free guide to the personal statement here: www.collegeessayguy.com/
Medical students make up a dramatic story about healing like " my grandmo passed away from ilness and i wanna learn to heal that ilness by studying in us" or smth like that. But how about other majors like economics or computer science.How can we make up a dramatic "movie"
Thanks for writing in. We definitely don't recommend "making up a dramatic story" for your college essays. Of course, if you have a real story to share or refer to, you can...but it's not necessary! The best essays are authentic, vulnerable, and well-crafted (meaning they've been revised several times).
If you're hoping to hook your reader early on in your essay, check out this blog post for more help: www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/how-to-start-college-essay
Hope this helps!
Also could a college essay begin with a conversation with yourself??
You could try, but it might be confusing to the reader, so we suggest having a peer or counselor review your essay along the way.
Hey! I am a beginner and i don't know how to make my essay interesting and how to arrange info into a perfect structure.
You got this! Check out our free guide to the personal statement for more help: www.collegeessayguy.com/
7:39
Thanks for watching!
You said you were going to drop something in the comment section or did I not hear you well, sir?
All the links mentioned in the video are included in the description.
Is there a way you can review my college essay for me?
Hi there! Thanks for writing in.
We have a few options for getting 1:1 college essay support:
1.) If you're looking for 1-on-1 help with your college application and essays, please submit a request form at this link and our team will be in touch with you soon to share more details about our 1:1 support and how to schedule a call to learn more: www.collegeessayguy.com/college-essay-coaching
2.) If our packages are out of range, we are offering asynchronous reviews of college essays/applications with our Complete Application Review service, which you can learn more about and sign up for here: students.collegeessayguy.com/complete-application-review
Lastly, we always have free and pay-what-you-can courses. We recommend starting with our two signature essay courses here: www.collegeessayguy.com/college-essay-courses
3:58
Thanks for watching!
Hi. Is it ok to start an essay with a dialogue?
I started my essay with dialogue.
More like a sound.
It goes like this:
'"DING" rang the school bell'
And then I just put another dialogue and continue with my story without giving a hint of what was happening. I just went to tell that story. So, it is more of a narrative, describing the complete situation of the moment. And, spoiler alert: It's all about failure. Like, I express everything about my situation, and then, I bring up the twist by failing in that task or situation. Finally, in the conclusion, I TALK. I talk about my middle present self (the earlier one was my past self, 8th grade me, then, in conclusion, am talking about my 9th or 10th-grade self) and how I encounter the same situation and do well that time and shaping me who I am today (it would relate to my ECs).
So, my question is: Is it a good narration? Like, not showing any of my good qualities anywhere in the essay (other than the conclusion), just describing the situation and finally failing. And, finally, at the end of about 50 words, I talk about the 'change' that is brought. I am worried that I won't be able to show what I bring to their college.
How does it sound like?
It may be better to create a word budget for each part of your essay. It sounds like you're talking about a challenge in your essay, so this is the word budget I recommend:
Challenges + Effects: 200 words
What I did about it: 200 words
What I learned: 200 words
It sounds like you may not be allocating enough words to discuss what you learned. Keep writing and revising!
@@Collegeessayguy For the "What I did about it," actually I did nothing other than failing in that task.
So, this is what my essay is about: I get an opportunity to speak in front of over 2000 people. And the twist is, I never spoke even in front of 50 people before (since am an introvert). And, I mess up that day and embarrass myself in front of all those people. But a year later, I ask for the opportunity myself. I wanted to speak again. And I wasn't afraid anymore, because I realized that I had already experienced the worst thing and nothing worse could happen.
So, I did well that year. It went great.
After that, I become fluent in speaking, I gain confidence and I join conferences, do leadership roles, and did stuff. And all because of that "mess up/embarrassment."
So, I don't know if this story of mine is considered a CHALLENGE.
What do you think about it?
(btw, thanks a lot for replying)
So confused about the Kimchi essay. In her video, Haley Kang says NOT to write about someone else. Yet the entire Kimchi essay is about his grandmother. Kang says writing about someone else is not the point of the essay.
I see what you're saying. The student did an OK job at connecting the topic to their own perspective and qualities throughout the essay, but there could be more content focused on the student. The opening of the essay is particularly good though - as it includes lots of rich imagery.
Spoiler Alert would have been nice haha
Woops! Thanks for watching. :)
so the meta way is undoable u say
I wouldn't say it's totally undoable...it's just really hard to do well. If you're planning on writing a meta draft, you may want to also have another topic/approach option to fall back on just in case.
@@Collegeessayguy thanks. you really help a lot people.
Hold on. Is the essay supposed to be like a story, because that’s how all of these examples sound.
It's an option for sure!
the longer i look at him the more he starts to look like david harbour
the fact that this was 2 months ago and i still didn't start my essay
LOL! Haven't gotten that one before.
34470th
LOL
is it ok to write about the death of a relative, but not make it the whole point of the essay?
That topic could work! A good question to ask yourself is: "Does this topic demonstrate the skills, qualities, values, and interests I offer the school as an incoming student?"
If yes, then start outlining and writing your first drafts. If no, go back to brainstorming!