Relations, 2 types of love and the power of the woman
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- čas přidán 11. 11. 2023
- Relations, 2 types of love, and the power of the woman
In relationships between woman and man, there are 2 types of love innate in the heart. The woman's power relies on the clarity of the type of love given to each relationship.
In this lesson from the series Love and Relationships, Berdhanya invites every woman to reflect on the type of love she needs to take and give to alleviate the polarities of love.
Other video in this series
Two ways relations can elevate or kill you
• Relations and Inner Po...
Visit www.berdhanya.com for guidance, courses, and spiritual journeys.
This is confirmation, that i am married to a child and not a man. When i run to my mother in law and cried about him, not considering me, she said she didnt bother to raise her son to love a woman, because her mother in law didnt raise her son(my father in law) to love her(my mother in law). My mother in law spoiled her son to love only her and no other woman, because of her absent minded husband. She raised an adult child. She controlled him and he obeyed her, put his mother first. I was treated as an option.
Yes it is often the case, and we need to deal with the feeling of defeat and disguise.
Wow! Thank you.
Likewise I have been loving the child and wondered why he hasn't been able to plan beyond wants and desires! I didn't know how to love outside of maternal when we got married and now, it isn't working in my womanhood. Thank you for posting this comment and this video!
What the 😳
I ve seen this dynamic in my father and his mother
when I met my boyfriend it rocked my world. most men, even “traditional” men, truly want a mother. A woman who cooks, cleans, does the bulk of the work. She never rests, not even on holidays that are meant for rest and enjoyment. She takes on the bulk emotional labor, and expected to do everything with a smile. When I met my boyfriend he said no, I’ve never felt so much like a woman. He does things to serve me DAILY, he does the bulk of the work and because of this I have so much energy to give to our relationship, which is what he lives for. I’ve never met another man who shares his sentiment but our dynamic makes us both feel truly loved and cared for. A man should always lead, it’s not on the woman to create the peace but instead on the man, and through this women flourish
My boyfriend too ❤I'm so glad I did not settle
Where did you find him 😭😭 Ever since letting go of toxic patterns and going to therapy + church, I have still been having manipulative and lustful men flock up to me. And I reject them every-time. It’s getting tiring.
This is what I’m teaching my boys. I’am raising men not boys, nothing is given to a man. They’re learning to go out and work for it, my boys will know to be respectful and have love and empathy. I’am raising self aware, kind and compassionate men. I really dislike that my children’s father isn’t a good example for my boys but I will do the best I can to make sure they’re an asset to their families and the world.
Same!!❤
I've Manifested you in less than 2 hours! I said, how I wish I had a Wise Woman to mentor & care about me, guiding & helping me navigate my life, And Praises Be!!! Here you Are! GLORY! 🙏🏻🙌 Huge Respect & Appreciation to You & for Sharing Your Wisdom ❤ I am Humbled & Sincerely Deeply Thanking You 🙏🏻 💐
Great job!
Same
I think we should also thank yt algorithm 😅
This woman has changed my life with her series on how not to baby a man.
I spent 8 years married and I can tell you, every word this woman is saying is true. After those years of marriage, when it ended I met a new person, a strong man who wanted to protect me and provide... And guess what? I started mothering him. I realized that giving sometimes becomes a compulsion and a pattern, we give even when we're uncomfortable, we give because of anxiety too and when we stop we don't know what to do. I think the key of a satisfying love is... Separating the woman and the mother. Mother yourself, perhaps, mother a kid or a plant. A man doesn't need a mother, he needs a woman. If he is demanding a mother... Run, my ex husband even asked me to talk to him like his mom one day I ended up cradling him while he cried (like a baby). Needles to say I felt no desire for that man... Sex was unbearable. Now, with my new partner I'm trying to not ruin it again...
yes, dear, take the risk to be more you and apply what you know. Boundaries is the key. - Thank you for inspiring me to make a video on this topic
Isn´t it a good thing that a man asks his wife to mother him FOR A MOMENT? It would be ok if a friend asked me, why not my man if it´s healing? If it is a conscious request of a comfort moment? I don´t see the problem. If the man asks it as a request it, he´s conscious. @@berdhanya
@@berdhanya I’m so glad I found your wisdom out here. Your teachings, guidance and light are so much appreciated. Love 💐
How long did it take for you to meet a new person?
I divorced in 2022 and I’m having a lot of doubts that there are any men who want a real woman and not a mother. I married a BIG TIME man child. I gave too much of myself to him and when he finally was able to provide, his eyes were wandering and lusting for other women. I feel used and ashamed of myself for all the years I put in the effort. 😢
avoidant attachment style > over giving
I’ve dedicated 35 years to a man who chooses to always be the child regardless of how many different ways I have tried to honor him as a man or teach the child in him. He demands as a child. He stomps off if I disagree with something or ask him to see the awkward timing of his demands. I have chosen to remove myself from our marriage bed and conduct myself as a happy individual.
You should have left much sooner than 35 years
@@solaraeterna6577but later is better than never! all in divine timing & when people have awareness & strength! Congrats Kat! Proud of you! This is huge!
I dated a man like this for about a year. I didn’t mother him and encouraged him to do the inner work for himself and of course he didn’t.
I was not attracted to him because there was constant disagreement about me being a bully because I stood up for myself so eventually I left the relationship and ended it a few months later.
You are doing what’s best for you and I wish you happiness.
In my own bedroom where I feel peace and happiness
I'm sorry to say but he sounds like a narcissist. I had one of those men for 24 years. You cannot find happiness living with him. Trust me. Go, get out now. It's never too late.
My husband IS a man, but I'll tell you this.... When he gets sick, that little boy comes out. He gets a little extra nurturing while he's feeling vulnerable until he's back on his feet. His mother smothered him growing up and over worries and makes him crazy. She does it from a place of fear, panic and projection and worst case scenario, which is exhausting for everyone involved. He's told me many times in our twenty years together that I worry "just the right amount" where he feels loved and cared for and not driven nuts. 😅
I needed to hear this. In all my romantic relationships, I gave and gave, thinking that maybe if I just sacrificed enough and loved selflessly enough, I wouldn't be used, crushed, and thrown away yet again. Now I understand that no amount of giving would have been enough.
Forgive yourself, truly. We learn, though it's not easy to. We cannot carry the crimes of a man to take with pure selfishness. If it hadn't been us, it would have been someone. Let it go and try to be happy with you. He's done enough. ✌️
Oh yea
I lost my mom when I was young. I truly appreciate your wisdom and knowledge. Thank you for your mothering nature! Sending you so much love and light!! 😘😘
Wow, thank you
*Outstanding*
Maternal Love vs
Woman Love
Every teenage girl in the world needs to be taught this outstanding lesson
5:25
"Don't give to the boy, because they will become and stay the boy"
@@Riyyaaaaaa Sounds like if you want to do him a favor you may want to let him feel the extent of his own strength by not mothering him or doing the work for him.
Amazing insight. I grew up with narcissistic parents so I was used to tend to peoples inner children. I was conditioned to cater to their inner children otherwise life would not have been safe for me. In every relationship I saw the inner child of the man, I just wanted to love and heal it. Because I thought that that was my responsibility. To heal my partner. And it ended just like you described in dating men children. I did a lot of inner work and healing, now I know it is not my responsibility to heal anyone other than myself nor can I heal someone else. Everyone has to do their work themselves. But I still don't have a clear vision of how it looks like to love the man and not the child. So I am very thankful for you and your guidance around this topic!
This is my story too - very well stated! Step one: self love!!!
I have the same story. 🙏🏽
Me too
Self love indeed. Fall in love with yourself, its an amazing feeling ❤
I wish I was thought this by the women in my life. Every mother should teach this to both their daughters and sons. Thank you for this beautiful gift. ❤
Never ever have I subscribed to a YT channel so quickly (5 minutes into this video). "Don't baby your man" spoke to me so I clicked on this video. I am 100% guilty of doing this! When people ask me how many children I have, I often joke "3", they are 15, 23 and 54. But after watching this video, I realize, there's nothing to joke about here.......
This is so good and this is exactly what I've done. Brought up my husband to be a child and I don't want intimate relationship with him because he is a child. He has tantrums gets angry and even calls himself a baby.
I love the lead into that a woman who is secure is truly magnetic to a magical match to her. Security is the deep grace and beauty above all. It reminds me that our values are what really matter.
When I tell you this message, blow me away. I really wish this was given to me before I got into relationships . I believe this message can change women's lives and how to navigate 1000 %. WoW. Food for the soul.
I have learned that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. My last relationship I told him that I was treating him like a boy when hes a full grown man. He immediately said was wasn't because he benefits from it. I kept giving and giving and giving and yes I started to resent him. He took and took and never gave. I apologized to him for treating him like that. When I told him what I needed, I got nothing. I felt exactly what you described 😢. I was mothering him. I don't have kids, but after hearing you, I honestly don't know what to do. I'm a giver, I take care of things. I'm quit 😂😂😂😂 for now. I need more information. I've never heard it explained like this and after reading about inner child wounds, this fits right in. 🤦🏾♀️ Time out, flag on the play smh
thank you for sharing so honestly, keep up for your lessons that will help you to gain more perspective. Also do not hide using " the giver."
Every boyfriend I had was a spoilt, selfish, vengeful child - all very short relationships because I walked. The problem is, finding a 'real' man at all, they are very rare it appears.
Suddenly I understood why is my marriage in crisis. I used to mother my husband (as I learned in my childhood) but I got tired and decided to change everything. Unfortunately this has been to much for him, and now I feel He is lost, confused and angry. But I feel there is no turning back. It has been so difficult for all our family...
it’s hard to turn back at this time
My goodness this has been coming to my spirit. I messed up my own relationship because I mothered him and I lost attraction for him because I was now dealing with a child 💔
I’ve realized a lot myself watching this. I’ve worn myself mothering my friends and the men I’ve dated. Thinking the would respect or love me for it. Once again loving people wrong has caused me many disappointments.
Yup I talk about this a lot as of late. There’s an epidemic of man child partners. Now I’m writing a book to help us all!
Don’t beat yourself up a man won’t let you baby him. Only a child man will start to allow that. A man man lol will take the lead and stop you and say go take a hot bath I got this lol
He chose to become a child though…
@@edithtierce8209you are right. If he wasn't a child already then he was going to tell her to stop being a mother.
In a partnership always speak to the man and not his inner child(Always allow him to protect me and provide love me is vital)…Thank you for your wisdom Queen!❤💕💫
How many women in this comment section their experience are very similar to mine, thats crazy. I hope I can teach my girls so they have a better life
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my CZcams channel 8 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,222 subs and > 1,000 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
Well done. I love how you paid it forward because now your comment is inspiring me too ❤
Congratulations!!
God is listening to my confusion, I didn't even search but this pop up at a right time.
💫💜💜💜💜💫
I wish My Mother would have taught me this Earlier in life. I'm 31 and I'm NOW Ready to Love the RIGHT way....!!!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH ..!!
💫💜💜💜💜💜💫
Oh ,we are agemates.
I trying to love again too but this time am making the same mistakes
@@bintokiria5338 Ifeel the same. Like I am trapped or something
This is so deep and powerful, and helps me understand my past. Thank you 🙏
I will feed the man, and not the boy, within my next encounter.
When you mentioned, are you a giver who opens the tap and give, give, give and never turns it off, that hit home! That is me, whew! So much knowledge here, to learn, to process, and to allow my heart to absorb for transformation. I needed this. Thank you
Me too
Same😢 For our anniversary last year. I gave him his favorite candy. I didn't get anything. Not even a love note nor a text. We did go fie dinner. Then this year he didn't even remember. My 11 year old send her dad a text to remind him. So he bought me a rose that he handed me while being on his phone.😢
I love him. But somewhere in me knows well. This will eventually break apart. I'm tired of crying for his affection, attention to me and his daughter's. He's doesn't show it unless I tell him, too. I always tell him. I'm not his mom to be telling him what to do.
Me three
First video I ever watched of you. Never seen or heard of you before. I didn't hesitate to subscribe because my intuition told me this is a hint from my spirit guides to listen to more of what you have to say. Thank you for this original and authentic advice. I am starting a brand new journey with a brand new man in my life and I will implement your teaching and walk in awareness of the matrix of my womanhood I am offering to him.
Thank you for your feedback and trust
Same here. Such gentle wisdom 😮
Omg! Same! ❤
Resonates 💯 🎉
Me 5🙋🏾♀️❤
It's crazy how so many women we don't know this wisdom! 😢I am in my 50th relationship😂😂😂and was "mothering" him😂omg I manifested this ❤❤thanks 🙏 Namaste.
If you are a Christian Woman, God gives an understanding of yourself, and tells you who to marry and help you both sustain the marriage. This is a great advice but it's hard to remember or study all of this but with God, he guides you both and makes it become easy.
God had nothing to do with the divine feminine. If an archaic book that has countless passages that speak of the degradation of women is where you find your peace than more "power" to you.
Amen sis!!!
That's making yourself helpless and powerless. It takes your power away and gives it to God. That's not how God relates to us. God is not sitting in heaven directing everything we do here on earth. We are God. When you're faced with a man who wants to be babied, it will be you as God making those decisions on whether to go along with it or put a stop to it in the moment. You're not going to get magical revelations telling you what the best choice is. Thats not how God speaks to his people. You finding this information is God preparing you and making you aware now, so that when the situation comes in the future you are prepared. The bible says "my people parish for lack of knowledge." This is knowledge. This is a simple concept by saying it's hard to study or remember you're making yourself powerless.
Uuuh God doesn’t give you a husband we go out and find one
@@inathi1329Soo true! I wished people would receive that We Are God... made in His image!! 💯💯💪🏾❤️
Thank you for the insight. I agree completely. I remember saying to my ex-husband 'I don't want to be your mother, you already have one.' I don't know how to make men stop demanding I mother them. I get very resentful and usually end the relationship. I'm 59 and dating has gotten surreal in that many men in my dating pool are outright seeking mothers to care for them as they age.
Thanks for sharing!!
Wow. I just stumbled across your channel and this is the first video I have watched. I have learned more in this video than what I learned from the women in my family, this is very much appreciated, thank you. Part of me cried, part of me finally understood where I have taken so many wrong turns (the part about how to love, women give more and more, and feel it means in turn they will be loved, which is incorrect!). It was a most refreshing and also painful insight I am realising HA! Thank you for creating these videos. I hope every person here grows peaceful, joyful and connect in our uplift together 😌
Thank you so much for this. After many serious medical treatments and surgeries I got with God and learned that I was giving too much and blocking the receiving as you said ❤❤❤
Well this makes so much sense. Wish I knew it 50 years ago😂
Thank you so much for your words on things I haven´t been able to clarify and solve yet. I feel a lot of love and compassion for myself as well as for the women before me who didn´t know better. And I think that even if it was "confused" it was still love. And I want to respect it. It´s very healing. I just sent your video to my ex. I don´t know how he´s gonna feel about it, but for me it´s a relief to send him your words and explanations. I feel aknowledged, and it makes me feel like... more secure. I love it! It´s a real gift, thank you so much! Namaste.
Wow, I will have to watch this again. This is the first time i have been stumped in a while... I don't know how to be the "Woman." I only know how to be the "Mother." I was forced at a young age to take on a motherly role, did not have examples of healthy relationships & therefore, do not know how to embrace the man. I would like to say I do, but now I'm not so certain. I'm going to explore more videos. This was relaxing & contemplative. Thank you 💖
There is only one love. It's unconditional and you can't give or receive it. You become it snd it's true. You are accepting of everyone and everything because you know people can't help for the way theyve been programmed. You take everyone as a part of yourself and only want what's best for all. There's absolutely no other kind. Good luck on your journey ❤
I feel the same. Thats why I am childfree and not very interested in marriage etc
I am someone who give this unconditional love and this is Extremely Painful to the point that my body literally stopped moving with the mental, psychological and emotional pain n shock n trauma of 40 yrs from my loved ones. I did not move from that same spot for more then 9 days n it keeps happening every now n then. Within a month i lost 12 kg weight. Now i have created boundaries n do not let anyone come closer to me
that dependency and attachement, not love. yiu can care about them, have compassion but its the unhealthy patterns in you tgat cant let go. You can love and not have a physical connection. often the most loving and accepting thing you can do for both you and the other
Mmmm no. Love absolutely is conditional otherwise you're a door mat
This is so beautifully written - - May I use your words for my upcoming album / live performances? What you wrote is so simple and so truthful ❤🙏Happy to give credit / share streaming revenue if I use in a song.
This is so true, thank you. I had been in that position, mothering my love and growing the “powerful” man and the “child” within altogrther, causing serious problem which almost ended our relationship. Thanks for raising this rare but true topic, this is real. ❤ Namaste
Ohhh the quality! I never thought of it that way!
This is so on point and a message that is needed for all women around the world. 💯
I was guided towards your message and it deeply resonated, I am cultivating the awareness of the mother energy and the woman your perspective and insight expands my understanding ❤
Thank you for offering your medicine of the heart and wisdom
Thanks for sharing!!
Very enlightinening! This is why we have so many narcisistic men! Because mothers spoil their sons too much! Still I have some questions.
Needed to hear this!! Thank youuuu!!
You're so welcome!
Words of wisdom!! Thank you for sharing this info!! ❤❤
What a brilliant woman!
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
I was just contemplating on this very issue how to respond.. that I don't want to use my default nurturing mode because Im empathetic ... I was really thinking about ..how to draw the line..
And your video just popped up in my feed.. didn't even search this topic.. that's so crazy.. I'm thankful..
Thank you for posting this 💓🙏
Perfect!
Loved this! Can’t wait for more such videos
This gave a lot of clarity thank you ❤
I’m listening to this over and over to learn and contemplate
This message was profound. Filled of wisdom. Thank you for helping me learn from my mistakes and how to better live in my feminine.
Thank you so much, this lesson was much needed 💗
Thank you so much, I’ve listened to this several times already and it feels so important to integrate
Glad it was helpful!
This is truth beautifully spoken…thank you for all the insights ❤
Thank you so much this magically appeared exactly when I needed it💫 namaste🙏🏾
Beautiful wisdom to the
Human-kind.
I'm grateful listening to you Ma.
I just woke from a dream and here you were!! New subscriber here; thank you so much for your quiet wisdom. no accidents
Wow, I know I was ready to hear you. That makes so much sense.
I didn’t grow up with a caring mother…. Your advice is a blessing to me in ways you can’t imagine … thank you 🙏
You are so welcome
My mom comforts my father's child, I've comforted both hers and his. I now try the same to others, and frankly, expect someone to 'save me' too. Everything is mixed up, no grown men or women anywhere. When you said 'how do you love a man' and 'how do you understand what is love' and 'how do you request that love, how is a man loving you?'... my unknowing disturbed me. I don't know where to begin. I will reflect. Thank you for this video.
Patience in the not knowing, reflect that you head may not know, but something deeper does.
Absolute wisdom this is. Most men remain a child all through their lives and their wives have to do with this in rhe worst of the ways. It is better contemplated well and dealt with.
I’ve been praying for this insight
I saw this video on my timeline and passed by it. Later I was thinking about watching and couldn’t find it and now it came back to me ❤️
Never heard something like before.. this is worth listening to. You explained everything so beautiful ❤️
Love from India
Glad you liked it!
Thank you, I really needed to hear this.
I have never heard this description of love! Just discovered your channel. 👍
Hope you like it!
OMG This lady is healed amazing stuff❤❤❤
Wow, I am so grateful for these perspectives. This has opened myself up to a different way of taking care of my partner, by taking care of the man aspect of him and not the child. Thank you Berdhanya.
Thank you for your comment. Can I ask a question please? How do you take care of the man and not the child? Going through my thoughts here and I’m very confused how to differentiate things?
Same here. Not sure how and where. Been married for 16 yrs and it’s not good.
What a presense! Thank you for the knowledge.
From this I learnt to invest in myself and my vision
This is like an answer to a question I have been having lately.
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL LADY, AND BEAUTIFUL SOUL. STAY BLESSED BEAUTIFUL FAMILIES 🙏 🌹💕🤗🫂
Wow, thank you!
This video was suggested in my feed. I hesitated, clicking, but scrolled back up and clicked it.
I have never listened or heard of you. I subscribed immediately.
Maybe it was your grey hair that signified wisdom which made me subscribe 😂
Thank you ❤
Namaste ❤thank you so much for this beautiful message and loving guidance 🫶🙏 sending love back to you 💜
You are so welcome, thank you.
This is wonderful!! Thank you soo much!
This's the exact time for me to hear this, I always make this same mistake loving and giving over measurement, and ended up broken all the time. Am pretty sure my life is about to change henceforth. Maam you're a blessing. Thanx for telling us the truth.
You are amazing. I needed to hear such powerful lesson❤❤❤❤❤ Namaste❤
This is so incredibly beautiful and for me at least, serendipitous... im closing out a very long life cycle and this is definitely something I needed to hear today🙏... thank you so much for this very timely message🩷
You are so welcome
THIS! True Wise priceless information. Thank you so much.
Glad you enjoyed it!
This is the wisest advice. You should have millions of likes! Thank you, you are beautiful
Fully agree!!! 💗
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom 💕 I just subscribed 😊
wow. so much to think and feel into. great awareness listening to you. thank you.
This is something I was never taught, thank you for this crucial information ❤.
Glad it was helpful!
What a powerful and insightful message. I really felt that. Thank you so much. 🙏💕
Glad it was helpful!
Men also father. It's healthy if both partners are aware of borderline care giving as a way of fulfilling a need but both partners must also be mature adults. Mothering and fathering is a loving thing if it's a healthy role play.
Changing the topic to a tit for tat debate is rude and purposely detracts from the speaker point.
Men and women are not the same. Men do not love how women love. Women don’t know men the way they should.
@@VickiluvNo it is all a part of our society right now and a part of the bigger picture… The last generation raised both sexes of children to stay children and have dysfunctional relationships…
It's a journey and a dance sometimes one mother's sometimes one helps sometimes one fathers sometimes one helps then both of you together can also create wonderful moments together as man and woman it changes throughout life as each person grows individually and together marriage is truly a crucible but let us always seek Joy together or part if need be part if need be
@@VickiluvIt is not rude to have an opinion and to add to the topic, people are allowed to disagree and share their disagreement. If anything we should encourage that so as to have more information to form a sound conclusion, she is not taking from her point by sharing his view.
It is so good how you put that in words. I think a lot at Moment, how to change my behaviors not to fall everytime in a Situation to be the helper. With this picture of a child and a poweful man, I will remember when I get in a Situation I don't want to be in the "Mother Role" in our Relationship.
Yes That is how we enpoderate ourselves and the man that is next to us. THANKS
Wise words, I feel very grateful for your real love of sharing light with others. Thanks from my heart
Thank you Ma'am...your message is indeed fabulous!
Oh how I wish to have known this wisdom at the beginning of my marriage.
Thank you for sharing this with us here.
🙏🏽🌹
Wow, it was meant for me to see your channel. I literally just said that I was feeling like I was raising a child, which is my husband, and I open up CZcams and your video was on my feed ❤ thanks so much for this!
You are so welcome!
Wow. Wow. Wow. This is the first time I have come across your videos and I feel they are so precious. Your wisdom is a jewel for all younger women to follow. As a single mother, this explains all my past behaviours and frustrations with my ex. It also explains why in recent years I have attracted certain types of men (although none long lasting). It is due to this very delicate balance of knowing when I am addressing an erect man in his full power, or a child who yearns for mom's love and attention.
You are so welcome
This was absolutely amazing and will change my life. God bless you and thank you so much.
Glad it was helpful!
ABSOLUTE ❤ Thank you ✨
Everything is energy. I stumbled on this video for a reason. Thankhing u
I have desired this wisdom nearly all of my life. I subscribed today.
I really needed to see this video and your very wise words, thank you. Due to my own supressed religious upbringing..I am not sure that I know how to be a Woman. It felt shameful in a way, which makes me sad and I feel that is so repressed in me now. She wants to come out. This video makes me realize this really is important, thank you
Wow. I just watched this for a second time. Im in tears. This resonated so much and when I reflect on my previous marriage, shines so much light. I have a son too. I feel so blessed to recieve your words and will carry this message. ❤
Thanks for sharing!!
out of topic which i totally agree on by the way, i LOVE your hair it looks so healthy and beautiful♥
Thank you for the message...Namasté🙏🏽❤️