What Men Consider Great Sex! - Everything You Think You Know A Man Wants IS WRONG | Stephan Speaks

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  • čas přidán 29. 11. 2022
  • Download Now: The Most Important Questions You MUST Ask Your Partner here: bit.ly/3dWyB2d
    FREE 4-Part Confidence Workshop: bit.ly/3fZcbO5
    On Today's Episode:
    Does hooking up on the first night make a woman confident or does it make her promiscuous? We wish there was a straightforward way to answer this, but the reality is there are too many variables to say. Men may not think about sex on the first date as the worst thing or the only thing they want from you.
    Stephan Speaks, the relationship guru with 79 million views and several bestsellers, has been bridging the communication gap between men and women looking for healthier relationships, makes it clear that whether you sleep with him on the first date on not, there are some key things you should be doing and paying attention to that will help you decide with confidence.
    Given the pressure we all face in dating, seeing how men think about sex on that first date can make dating less stressful and more enjoyable. Stephan's biggest recommendations are keeping the first date simple and not being afraid to ask questions.
    You will never scare off the right person by asking questions, and giving someone the opportunity and permission to reveal their intentions is key to beginning a great relationship. You don’t have to be upset or mad if his intentions aren’t aligned. You can use the opportunity to move on quicker and spare yourself the heartache.
    QUOTES:
    “Men become more cautious when it comes to making sexual attempts the more they like a woman.” [7:33]
    “If you are concerned about his intentions, keep him talking.” [11:57]
    “Focus on having fun first, and through having fun, be confident enough in yourself to be aware.” [14:02]
    “Most men come into that date putting you in a box.” [15:34]
    “Women, growing up, were fed more of the fantasy idea of ‘the one.’” [19:43]
    “When we’re dealing with the person who is not truly best for us, things are going to go left for us, [...] because we do not connect correctly.” [23:11]
    “The toxic man is toxic in many ways.” [25:16]
    “A lot of guys are good guys in the wrong relationship, and there’s a lot of good women in the wrong relationship…” [26:35]
    “When a woman feels the need to have to propose it’s because deep inside you sense that if you don’t he will never.” [27:30]
    “Every woman who dates from now on should give that man permission to be blatantly, brutally honest because it will save her the headache of confusion and his fear of how she’ll receive it.” [29:46]
    “It’s not about what the person does, it’s about how they handle your feelings about it, how they handle you addressing it. That’s when you’re going to see what we’re really working with.” [45:22]
    “The process of a man getting sex and the process of a woman getting sex are viewed completely different, and they are completely different. [58:55]
    “Once you take time to master the person’s body, you will be on a level that no one else can match.” [1:17:24]
    “Some people want to make empowerment about not wanting or needing a man. I view empowerment as living in your truth.” [1:25:59]
    Follow Stephan Speaks:
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    Facebook: / stephanspeaksrelations...

Komentáře • 2,4K

  • @LisaBilyeu
    @LisaBilyeu  Před rokem +716

    WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

    • @texuztweety
      @texuztweety Před rokem +27

      Good to know! You may want to repeat this comment on all your videos, the predators and endless and target women particularly

    • @louiseelizabeth9613
      @louiseelizabeth9613 Před rokem +7

      Please please please don't ever have this guy on your show again!

    • @patricetrotter
      @patricetrotter Před rokem +25

      @@louiseelizabeth9613 he good I follow him on CZcams for a year now

    • @umsrum
      @umsrum Před rokem +20

      I think for women masturbation affects us differently than men. I also know that a lot of women can simply use their imagination instead of porn. Masturbation doesn't lead to women needing less sex .

    • @queenfudge9171
      @queenfudge9171 Před rokem +2

      Me

  • @denisedean2446
    @denisedean2446 Před rokem +3337

    My father told me,"You show a man how to treat you. If you want love and respect, give those things to yourself first."

    • @javireyes7333
      @javireyes7333 Před rokem +142

      This is what I hate about most men. You need to teach them how to behave and respect women and boundaries. Which they already know how to deal with a round other men.

    • @cathyjennings5580
      @cathyjennings5580 Před rokem

      Men show are SHALLOW in general. Joking & Teasing, boasting about his grand achievements, experiences that generally are not impressive to her or to girls . Men whom boast
      Proud he had a great deal of money 💰 he inherited from his dad's side of the family. He did NOT MAKE, EARN IT. He blows it
      at casinos, , lottery tickets to 🏆 win. Not WORK FOR THE MONEY. NOT marriage materials, skills, behaviors, etc. He is a man whore character. He is easy. He is obsessed with the idea of getting sympathy to get cuddling leading to sex. Sneaky.
      Sleazoid, trickster, devious, jokester, mean, unkind fun. He tries to convince the woman he wants to dress her in sleazy degrading sexy clothing. He offers to buy her Clothes, he wants to SEE her wear for his eyes, & get her to display, flaunt her body parts. She s uncomfortable. Knows it is degrading her as a GOOD RIGHTEOUS, DECENT, Modest, SENSIBLE MINDED Christian minded woman. Jesus christ would not approve. Keep sensibly COVERED for COMFORT, & SELF-RESPECTING
      VALUE. PROTECTION. SEE the woman as a high VALUES PERSON, HUMAN BEING.!
      She is NOT INTERESTED in romance with a man She is NOT ATTRACTED TO Physically. He is too Egomaniac Egotiscal , Stuck on himself, about himself, boasting, & crying for sympathy: his back & knees hurt. He wants
      back massages. He offers to pay for things for her & other people.
      Then, he cries about spending that money. Or putting or using
      his credit card. He has a credit debt.(That's NOT the Woman's problem.) He offers. He ought to shut UP. 🙄. He's trying to BUY her loving attention, affection for his gifts. No NO NO kissing or hugs. Shakehands is safest. Yet, sometimes a woman does NOT desire to touch his SKIN.
      Too Risky. He thinks she likes me!! He tells himself LIES. SeX is off the table. Big STOP. BACK OFF!!! DISRESPECTING her wishes. BACK OFF, BACK DOWN USER. COMMUNICATION. ASK HER. BE PREPARED TO BE TURNED DOWN, rejected. Get over it. Act like a SENSIBLE MATURE REAL MAN . SERIOUSLY. Get real. She is NOT
      Interested in fluff sex. No fun irresponsible harmful sex. She s NOT putting OUT for his DOPAMINE, OXYTOCIN HIGH RUSH for orgasmas 30 seconds
      High. Not healthy. Not desired.
      She wants a PLATONIC FRIENDS , buddy, pals,. Safest relationships. Stop pursuing her with intentions to get & take what HE wants to do to her body. For his advantage. Rude behavior. Crude thinking & planning fantasizing. Is harmful to her. & other girls, & women.
      Back Off man.

    • @cathyjennings5580
      @cathyjennings5580 Před rokem +28

      Smooth talking charmer. Red Flag. She must say back off !!
      She is NOT Willing, NOT interested .

    • @kaybase6967
      @kaybase6967 Před rokem +50

      @@javireyes7333this is biology. Men and women are different. Life is about learning and how to relate to people. Sorry but the cold hard truth and REALITY is that people need to stop with the “poor me” mentality. Get with the program because SUCH IS LIFE. You either sink or swim. It might be hard to believe but this is the way it has been since time immemorial. People can either take the advice or just continue doing things the opposite way that doesn’t work. Again, men and women are completely different. Men do not think and feel like women do and vice versa. Sadly, women have been guided to expect men to be a certain way and if men don’t meet those expectations, they are the ones in the wrong. Women think giving sex will make a man fall in love, when that just isn’t the case. On the same note, not many women would like a man to be soft and sensitive like they are. Most women want a MAN, whether they will admit it or not, but to be in a relationship you have to earn respect and have respect for yourself. I hope I made sense 😅.

    • @kaybase6967
      @kaybase6967 Před rokem +28

      @denisedean2446 your father was completely right.

  • @av-sp1wo
    @av-sp1wo Před rokem +3283

    So Ive taken a few notes of this vid:
    1. Trust yourself, trust your intuition, if it screams no, dont ignore it.
    2. Dont have sex if youre one to wait, dont let yourself be pushed around. If he hooks off on that, its not your fault. You know what he wanted and its not you.
    3. Keep expectations low, preferably none. Just enjoy the date(s)/time with each other.
    4. Keep the (first) dates cheap so that you can focus on each other instead of what they can bring to the table. Youll avoiding falling for the wrong thing.
    5. Women need that connection to be able to have sex. Men need sex to have that connection.
    6. Difference between men who are interested in you and men who are only out for sex is mainly effort, respect and time.
    7. Just be yourself, the right guy will find you and wrong one will flip off faster than a lightning bolt.
    8. Date the guy before you, not his potential.
    Hope these notes will help someone :)
    Edit: added nr 8. Yes, its kinda messy now but theyre notes not a summary (it kinda turned out like a summary though lol)

  • @user-pq9zi3cl5g
    @user-pq9zi3cl5g Před 7 měsíci +373

    My father always told me. Don’t worry to much about if the man has no money. Focus and pay attention that he likes to work because live alone won’t pay the bills. Also let the man make 75% of initiative. Let him move the relationship forward. Don’t give him free sex to a man who’s not committed to you. A man can’t come and enjoy free sex when he’s not committed or is not husband. Always value yourself and respect yourself so that he can respect you back. A man will fall in love with your good morals. Thank You Dad for all your great advice ❤️❤️

    • @Truu5StarLifeDriver
      @Truu5StarLifeDriver Před 2 měsíci +7

      🙏🏾Great Advice Dad

    • @ghostth3whip244
      @ghostth3whip244 Před měsícem +10

      This is why I only seriously date women with good relationships with their dads.

    • @elle5031
      @elle5031 Před 7 dny +2

      LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

  • @patmanchester8045
    @patmanchester8045 Před rokem +360

    My first husband ( who died when we were married) kissed me on the forehead on our first date. We had a great time prior to that and that chaste kiss was about the coolest thing he could do. He waited till the next day to leave a silly note at my door to ask for another date. We had a good marriage till the day he died, 9 years 9 months later. On that date, I kissed him on the cheek .

    • @nntk_1998
      @nntk_1998 Před 11 měsíci +42

      May he rest in peace.

    • @ritatolbert6395
      @ritatolbert6395 Před 11 měsíci +11

      I had a man kiss on forehead

    • @annajustice7620
      @annajustice7620 Před 11 měsíci +13

      so sorry for your loss.

    • @cheryljohnson380
      @cheryljohnson380 Před 11 měsíci +20

      Beautiful story. So sorry for your loss. 😢

    • @Leeohlin89
      @Leeohlin89 Před 10 měsíci +24

      You got to experience a love most won’t. It’s a blessing you did and he as well. 💙

  • @gingerhoney4031
    @gingerhoney4031 Před rokem +923

    The gem for me was:Don't stay in situations that you know have no future. Being alone is not ideal. However, being/staying in a bad relationship is much worse.

  • @Lilly_L.
    @Lilly_L. Před rokem +541

    Once women stop worrying and thinking about what men want, and concentrate on what they want, the things will start to fall into their place. Till then, it will be a constant war

    • @dama_shares
      @dama_shares Před rokem +6

      Right on!

    • @MariusFarstad-gz3mh
      @MariusFarstad-gz3mh Před rokem

      So true

    • @MariusFarstad-gz3mh
      @MariusFarstad-gz3mh Před rokem +8

      But instinctively a man whould want sex instantly, but There should be a middle ground then Mutually assured destruction

    • @samgraham7705
      @samgraham7705 Před 10 měsíci

      Totally agree

    • @jelizabethpetrie6656
      @jelizabethpetrie6656 Před 8 měsíci +6

      @@MariusFarstad-gz3mh To me, a great ‘vetting’ first date is visiting a farmer’s market & a coffee or lunch is a low key no pressure first date. Don’t think a girl needs to be razzled dazzled first off. It’s more authentic 🎉

  • @lilmissunshine83
    @lilmissunshine83 Před rokem +818

    Under no circumstance should you have sex on the first date. You don’t know him and he doesn’t know you. Think of your body as a literal sacred place (because it is) not just anyone should be allowed to enter. Self love ladies ❤

    • @Faith459
      @Faith459 Před rokem +14

      💗

    • @venessawalker8431
      @venessawalker8431 Před rokem +8

      🥰

    • @mc-eo1wh
      @mc-eo1wh Před rokem +90

      Never have sex before marriage. Period. I'm telling you this as a man myself.
      The moment you give us men husband benefits outside wedlock you become our play toy !
      So ladies carry yourself with dignity and keep yourself sacred and focus on self growth financially and personality wise gracefully with maturity and sensibility.
      Don't be vain and don't be filled with vanity and flashy with anything about you.

    • @thinahlishaka6924
      @thinahlishaka6924 Před 11 měsíci +1

      ll

    • @estherbosbach377
      @estherbosbach377 Před 11 měsíci

      @@mc-eo1wh such nonsense. men use 'virgin' woman as much as a plaything, bc she cannot compare and men can hide they are lacking care.
      ladies, your temple can have a little fun before it gets more serious. loosen up, that's more healthy for everyone's emotional system instead of living in de 19 hunderds.

  • @aprillewis8311
    @aprillewis8311 Před 3 měsíci +23

    The fact that both a man and a woman have sex, but the woman is the person whose character is scrutinized really bothers me.

  • @mcdowellt34
    @mcdowellt34 Před rokem +923

    It's crazy that a man would judge a woman for having sex on the 1st date when hes doing the exact same thing

    • @thepurplequeen256
      @thepurplequeen256 Před rokem

      But in his head he is a man and it doesnt apply to him. You see how patriarchy makes them dumb? 🙄

    • @KaliPuppies
      @KaliPuppies Před rokem +49

      Stephan just explained clearly in this video how men and women are viewed differently as regards their sexual behaviour.

    • @mcdowellt34
      @mcdowellt34 Před rokem +41

      @@KaliPuppies whats your point?

    • @lexxie225
      @lexxie225 Před rokem +27

      @@mcdowellt34 it’s crazy because we as woman don’t view it the same. Though I do not agree with it, as you probably know It’s much more difficult for a man to have one sexual encounter casually let alone multiple. It’s like getting rich, you usually redirect someone more who’s worked for it. This is why many women can see past a man’s high body count but men cannot do the same. It takes effort for most men to get which means they did something “right”, a woman can be a bitch and still get sex no problem (but that’s men’s fault since they’ll fuck anything) and that’s due to their brain. The more she’s know to sleep around the less respects she’ll because she’s not restraining herself, she’s not viewed as valuing, protecting her own temple so why should he?
      I’m not saying I agree but that’s essentially how they view it

    • @mcdowellt34
      @mcdowellt34 Před rokem

      @@lexxie225 I'm not going for that anymore I'm holding men accountable! They lack self control and that's pathetic! Men get away with way to much. They suppose to be leaders but lack everything it takes to be a leader.

  • @againstallodds404
    @againstallodds404 Před rokem +780

    My story: I was with in a serious relationship with a guy that agreed to wait. AFTER over a year, I began to understand why he was so comfortable and quickly accepted waiting on having sex. He was a gentleman and chivalrous. He said I love you and I'm in love with you but I began noticing different things in his behavior. I asked him different questions about his sexuality to which he denied, but then said the burden of proof is not on him. I found out later that he was sleeping with men, DL and I was a cover girl for him. I'm so glad we never had sex. We women now have to really watch and be so careful on top of everything else. It has left me so shaken, doubtful and fearful.

    • @jumokeonifade85
      @jumokeonifade85 Před rokem +125

      This has always been my biggest fear, God help and protect us all

    • @susanparker9877
      @susanparker9877 Před rokem +52

      You were on the ball to catch that woman!

    • @LarennPBel
      @LarennPBel Před rokem +71

      I’m glad u figured it out n ur safe.

    • @biancacherry7059
      @biancacherry7059 Před rokem +97

      MJ Harris has always said it’s a sign of a DL guy if he says he’ll wait for marriage and not marry you in six months. I have a male friend so scary how many ‘straight men’ he’s been with that have girlfriends (live in as well). Stay safe ladies

    • @gingerhoney4031
      @gingerhoney4031 Před rokem +20

      Omg

  • @shennaghaytacan4640
    @shennaghaytacan4640 Před rokem +56

    A guy would really be patient and respectful when he's serious in pursuing you.

  • @cherwallace6026
    @cherwallace6026 Před 10 měsíci +146

    Gem: If a man is truly interested, he is cautious regarding sexual activity.

  • @justjules6975
    @justjules6975 Před rokem +1052

    Thank God for these conversations now for young women. I’m 58 and lived through a lot of sexual trauma and poor boundaries. It wasn’t until 6-7 years ago that I realized my worth and now have a man that respects me. I wish discussions like this had been available when I was much younger and feeling worthless. Thank you for helping women to realize their worth ♥️🙏

    • @nolamitchell3882
      @nolamitchell3882 Před rokem +31

      I agree with all the ladies' input/comments above. Men should check why Iadies often mistrust men and why, why we women get involved in used relationships while men are take the lead in using us ladies for selfish gains sexually and/phommie love. I beg to enquire if a man found out that his own daughter was dating just for sex, would he not feel insulted or bitter against any man who used say.. his Daughter's body for his part-time sex craving. Some men are simply eithrr insane or totally abusive/disgustin

    • @Wonderwoman79G
      @Wonderwoman79G Před rokem +11

      I am sorry for what happened to you.I hope you got support and therapy for your trauma.

    • @justjules6975
      @justjules6975 Před rokem +18

      @@Wonderwoman79G Thank you I have over the years but there’s still a lot to unpack and mental health care has become a joke these past few years. Thank you so much for caring xx♥️♥️♥️

    • @Wandertheworldwithme
      @Wandertheworldwithme Před rokem +3

      ♥️💕 🙏

    • @glamgodess9643
      @glamgodess9643 Před rokem +13

      Don’t be too hard on yourself, someone says the teacher arrives when the student is ready. I also realised that when I was not gonna listen to his advice this time last year, but now, we are ready!

  • @Wandertheworldwithme
    @Wandertheworldwithme Před rokem +1117

    Thank you Lisa for having this topic discussed. My opinion is that women have more to lose after a sex experience. Before I found my husband, I went on so many dates with men who just wanted sex. Some men even tried to get me to drink more so that I could go home with them. I’m not a play toy, I’m a woman with dignity and self respect. I’ve had men call me a prude because I didn’t want to have sex. Shockingly, a couple men even wanted to pimp me out on 2 separate occasions. I experienced so much manipulation and trauma from dating. I was naive and didn’t have a mother who taught me things and my dad died when I was a kid, I was a lost puppy and men took advantage of that. I went to therapy and changed my vibration and started attracting high value men and found my husband who I have been with for 8 years. I’m so glad this is talked about.

    • @Magicisreal66
      @Magicisreal66 Před rokem +1

      Hey girl you keep on saying men- I'm not sure why you're saying man the patriarchal taught them to be as far away from being a real man is f****** possible, that's why there's hardly any real man out there- no if this truth is told the way it should be a real woman that wouldn't have a problem trying to understand you just keep away from giant maggots with appendages because that's exactly what they are at the end of the day nothing more nothing less- I mean if you're trying to get their wallet that's fine just manipulate them to give you all the goodies and give them nothing back in return except for the wishful thinking that they had in the beginning- in other words we play them since that's all there is to do with an indoctrinated human male.

    • @vickih1982
      @vickih1982 Před rokem +44

      I have had a man try that pimping me out to his friends and asked him if he and his buddies had a bet goin on about me?? Of course, he lied and said no, he was just joking around! I would like to see a good teaching on why men try this game on women. I never understood why they do that

    • @Magicisreal66
      @Magicisreal66 Před rokem

      @@vickih1982 because they were indoctrinated to be depraved in almost every form and fashion in the realm of life- and they've gotten loopholes a plethora of them for whatever bad behavior that they would exhibit, that's why- the patriarchical Regine should have been burned alive on the day of their induction, and this world would have looked completely -it would have been peaceful and Harmony would ensued- instead of the human cesspool/ septic tank it has become- and they are MOST DEFINITELY responsible for every single bit of it!. And b t w, hiding this comment is the only way anybody can see my post. They don't like when I speak the truth about the patriarchal run world "IS AND EVERYTHING ITS RESPONSIBLE FOR "

    • @kimberly0717
      @kimberly0717 Před rokem +52

      Wow! It sounds like they recognized your naïveté and weaknesses and preyed on them . The GREAT thing is you recognized your value even before working it all out in therapy and was smart enough to not go against your values and that’s to be congratulated!!!

    • @heide-raquelfuss5580
      @heide-raquelfuss5580 Před rokem +38

      @@vickih1982
      It is like a man hunts an animal down and shares his hunt with the other comrads!

  • @ciao2315
    @ciao2315 Před 10 měsíci +64

    I can attest to what he said “the thought of her crying makes him hestiant” and each time my ex husband broke up with my in DATING he changed his mind and stayed with me and ended up divorcing me because he “never loved me the way a husband should love a wife” So this is very true! When he tells you something hurtful or hard please believe him & save yourself heartache.

    • @ivonned32
      @ivonned32 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Exactly. Men usually dont use double meanings on their sentences. Specially when it cones to not wanting to be with you anymore. Believe them!

  • @sadisticwinter8354
    @sadisticwinter8354 Před 11 měsíci +36

    I'm SO GLAD I listened to this entire thing INSTEAD of reading the comments of people who "took notes" or "made key bullet points". I received SO many answers in this video that those comments don't even touch on.

  • @JusttRaquel
    @JusttRaquel Před rokem +420

    If you know she's not The one but can't communicate that, then ...be nice enough not to have sex.

    • @auroraxxfacekilla49
      @auroraxxfacekilla49 Před rokem +42

      EXACTLY!!! THANK YOU 🙌🙌🙌🙌

    • @stephanie_allen
      @stephanie_allen Před rokem +24

      🤣 you would think!!

    • @smeadows6286
      @smeadows6286 Před rokem +54

      I couldn't agree more. That's so heartless to just use someone up like a rag.

    • @LoriJSykes
      @LoriJSykes Před rokem

      He makes wayyy too many excuses for these grown a**, degenerate boy men.

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 Před rokem +22

      He is giving excuses for men. All these scenarios are lose lose

  • @karenlindley.9756
    @karenlindley.9756 Před rokem +631

    I think a lot of men just like the thrill of the chase. Full stop. Then once he’s “got it” he’s off. It’s just confirming and feeding his ego that he can get anything he wants.

    • @elisa.r.
      @elisa.r. Před rokem +36

      Exactly!

    • @redleeks6253
      @redleeks6253 Před rokem +72

      He described a cycle of abuse so casually and even made men like the rational ones who came forward with everything and then changed their mind.
      How's the woman suppose to know if the guy is pursuing her ,declaring his love, doing everything and then...he changes his mind.
      Then he says the man starts pulling away because he realizes you're not a match. Wow he didn't realize you're not a match during the dating period? Or he just started to evaluate if you were a right fit after having sex and the novelty isn't there anymore?
      Sam Vaknin says that narcissists take a "snapshot" of their romantic interest and get stuck to it. When the person shows to be someone be more than the snapshot the narcissist feels conflicted and the devaluation starts.
      I know men putting end to relationships in the first month (before sex). Or sex was just what they wanted and didnt feel like keep on waiting or realized that the relationship didnt have future and decided to end it (with words) before putting the woman to sleep with him.
      We're talking abou men, not teenagers. They know what they want and the "wife material" will be decided according to his first level of attraction. She could be totally unfit but he will still marry her because hes getting a lot of validation for being with that woman

    • @karenlindley.9756
      @karenlindley.9756 Před rokem

      @@redleeks6253 wow spot on!! Exactly. See you e dated some of the guys I did! Haha. As Freud said….men want a woman who will be like a mother to them….wash their clothes, get their meals ready etc…..,but have sex with them. It’s their ego. It constantly needs massaging!

    • @lynlinglang2981
      @lynlinglang2981 Před rokem +4

      That part

    • @destinixshakur
      @destinixshakur Před rokem +3

      Yep

  • @deniserenewashington8559
    @deniserenewashington8559 Před rokem +65

    I asked God to increase spiritual discernment in my life...and this is how he answered through this message Thank you. The blessings of God on your ministry in Jesus name 🙏🏿 🙌🏾

    • @jewelniles4041
      @jewelniles4041 Před 8 měsíci +3

      Did you thank God for being able to or wanting to SIN???🤨 Men are supposed to be the HEAD(his head is THE MOST HIGH) if you have to tell a man to hold out for marriage because FORNICATION IS A SIN!! (APOCALYPSE OF PAUL: fornicator was hung by their loins in that place of FIRE) WHAT TYPE OF LEADER IS THAT.. HE SHOULD BE MAINTAINING RIGHTEOUSNESS!!! celibacy IS RIGHTEOUS as The Most High says to do...

    • @BagznBirdz
      @BagznBirdz Před 2 měsíci

      @@jewelniles4041 aawww a bit of fornication might get you in a better mood, too.

  • @bridgetevans2188
    @bridgetevans2188 Před rokem +64

    I agree with you guys!! Love can happen really fast!! Just like when you’re shopping for a home!! When you step into that home or area, it just feels like home!! Everything falls into place!! You may eventually discover flaws and imperfections, but it’s usually something that you can deal with. It just feels right!!!❤❤❤

    • @eclecticd9953
      @eclecticd9953 Před 11 měsíci +2

      I like this

    • @gypsywoman9140
      @gypsywoman9140 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Yes!
      A few months ago I was going through a bit of midlife crisis. It wasn't as bad as it had been around my 40th birthday and the months following, but I was still going through it, though, and was beginning to heal by deciding to lean into my femininity (something I hadn't realized I'd sort of lost until my midlife crisis. Nearly a decade of being a single parent with the father pulling "That kid ain't mine!" So I'm doing it all solo and had to provide the masculine energy as well.) At any rate, around this point of learning to be more selfish and feminine, a ridiculously handsome single dad friend of mine started coming around more with his adorable daughter. I had Friend Zoned myself with this dude as I'd met him shortly before my 40th birthday and thought he was 24-26 years old. Too young! For over a year I thought this until he confided that he, too, has struggled with getting older and revealed he's actually in his 30's. (He'd also told me "Age is just a number" when I talked about my own midlife crisis. 40, single mom, too many cats...living trope.) He also commented on my decor the first time he entered my home "So you like pink, huh?" (It's only gotten more pink since) and said he could use a woman's touch around his home and with his daughter; her mom is barely in the picture by her own choice. That little girl has had a hold on me from through moment I first set eyes on her. One of those toddlers where most women stop dead in their tracks "Oh. My. God!" when you first see her. Just wanna dress her up like a little princess and spoil the crap out of. The feeling has only grown since getting to know her and watching her grow from a 2 year old into a tiny little person who expresses herself over the past year and a bit. Hearing that she's in need of a more maternal figure broke my heart; she's so precious. Then he asked for my help around the place, saying he could use some help painting and stuff. He offered to pay, but I don't want to take his money when I know he's not much better off financially than I am. I'm just happy to help with things that I'm good at and also it's more rewarding doing these things for a friend than it is to clean my own home that I clean all the time. Initially, he was going to just paint his walls white, but the more time I spent with him in his home cleaning and talking, I noticed he is not a white walls guy and told him so. One day while cleaning his kitchen, a comment he made while holding something he'd foraged from the woods made me realize he needs the outdoors brought indoors "That's it! An enchanted fairy forest vibe is just perfect for you and Daughter!" As we've been spending more time together painting his walls forest green, I didn't notice myself doing something with someone I haven't done in a long time...actually letting my guards down and letting them in. I don't let too many people get close; my closest friends are people I've known for 20+ years and we never would have thought we'd be friends forever when we met. (Maybe the one did. She was a co-worker who seemed to instantly decide I was her new best friend whether I liked it or not not.)
      Other people seemed to know something before I did, given comments like "happy little family" "I think there's Something there." My mom pointed out "He wanted to spend Halloween with you. He came over on Christmas day. He's spending New Years Day with you. Its you he's coming to for help with his place and daughter." I brushed it all off, especially my mom since she reacted exactly as I did upon first laying eyes on his daughter: stopped dead in tracks "Oh. My. God!" And then told me to marry the dad upon learning he's single. "I'm not his type. He's a total hippy and I only dressed the part until getting to know him and realizing I'm just a hippy by city standards, but I'm too much of a city girl to be a true hippy." But then one day while we were working together (really well, as we always do) I realized "He feels like Home." I've never had that before. While I was visiting relatives, I looked at the time and thought "He'll be picking Daughter up from daycare about now and I wish I was there to hear about her day and to find out if That Boy was bullying her again. The thought of anyone picking on her!" And I realized "I want that life. He's my future husband and she's my other daughter, even if I'm not really her mom and I don't feel like I'm a good enough mom to my own daughter sometimes. I already love her like she's my own. I want to mom the crap out of her and spoil her and give her a pretty princess room and give her everything I give to Own Daughter." But ofc he needs to agree to this and want this with me himself 😅
      We're not quite There or even Official yet. He doesn't try to Get Any from me, but it's not because he doesn't desire me. We had a talk, he knows how I feel (it all came tumbling out the other day) and he's said he's had those thought about me, too, but he doesn't want to just jump into things like he did with Daughter's Mom and that while he likes everything he's seen so far, we haven't seen eachothers worst sides yet and so we don't know if we can handle eachothers bad sides yet. So for the time being, we're still just doing things together but not doing eachother (or anyone else!) and vibing real well, everyone else seems to see us as being in a relationship and it feels very much like one but he's holding back on things but not in a using or stringing me along way. (Lmao ❤ he called while I was wrapping this up 💖🥰) I love him and I'm pretty sure he's feeling the same but not quite ready to say it.

  • @bernetajohnson3296
    @bernetajohnson3296 Před rokem +237

    People need to be upfront and honest throughout the relationship.

    • @jasminemiller4636
      @jasminemiller4636 Před rokem +4

      Thats it!

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 Před rokem

      Thank you Mary Poppins

    • @zionsrants
      @zionsrants Před rokem +12

      Facts but unfortunately a lot people are cowards

    • @queenbee5175
      @queenbee5175 Před 10 měsíci +6

      Men say they can handle upfront, but not always.

    • @ivanklimovich6656
      @ivanklimovich6656 Před 7 měsíci

      @@queenbee5175 Can women handle it? In hookup culture prevailing today women need to be told comfortable lies, not men. Men know what is going on and for the most part are happy about it.

  • @kobra4422
    @kobra4422 Před rokem +482

    "He" might want whatever but the most important is to know what I want and focus on it, and it's certainly not being someone's toy to play with. Know your value as a human, woman, soul and stick to it shamelessly, get rid off people who don't reciprocate your energy, don't respect your value.

  • @joannajung9279
    @joannajung9279 Před rokem +39

    The great connection he talks about is for people who grew up in healthy, loving families and have secure attachment style. For those, who haven't - they feel the connection to the wrong thing. We should be aware of that

  • @lilmissunshine83
    @lilmissunshine83 Před rokem +53

    #4 there’s a difference between fun sex and intimate sex. Intimatacy connects the souls which requires love.

    • @JC-sw6qn
      @JC-sw6qn Před rokem +14

      If you are a child of God, there's no such a thing as fun sex. Leave the fun to the funny guys. You are a serious woman that needs to be taken seriously. Remember that😊

    • @lucilletabbutt6703
      @lucilletabbutt6703 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@JC-sw6qnOf course there is lots of fun sex! Within marriage

    • @movingforward789
      @movingforward789 Před měsícem +3

      @@JC-sw6qnExactly! ALL sex connects the souls, it’s called a SOUL TIE!!!

  • @Jennisweet5
    @Jennisweet5 Před rokem +110

    Energy is everything. Energy doesn't lie.

  • @minervagonzales3787
    @minervagonzales3787 Před rokem +79

    I believed that when a man truly serious, he will truly treasure/respect/woe /pursue & marry that woman.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +2

      It's important to remember that everyone's experience and beliefs about relationships are different. While some people may believe that a man who is serious about a woman will pursue her and eventually marry her, others may have different perspectives. It's important to communicate your expectations and boundaries in a relationship and find someone who respects and values them.

  • @bellamap3639
    @bellamap3639 Před rokem +82

    1:49:00 When it takes time it's not love.... but when it's taking time it's me trying to getting accustomed to his presence, it's me learning to tolerate him and grow attached to him. Whooo! That truth just set me free. I thank God for you Stephan.

    • @true2me366
      @true2me366 Před rokem +7

      Wheeewww I felt that almost made me cry!!! God is amazing!

    • @michellecardenas6072
      @michellecardenas6072 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Yes 💯 that one hit me like a ton of bricks. I know its true.

    • @annagreene195
      @annagreene195 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Wooooooowww!! 🤯💯💜Facts!!!

  • @UrBigSisKey
    @UrBigSisKey Před rokem +41

    let this video be a testimony that dating is sooo hard

  • @deezed6478
    @deezed6478 Před rokem +407

    I don’t understand why men are so comfortable only dating for sex.
    It’s like, if a woman gives you everything but wants you to make a lot of money she’s a gold digger, but if a man only tries to use you for sex that’s perfectly fine. No shameful word for him. It’s so frustrating.

    • @ReenaBINA
      @ReenaBINA Před rokem +25

      True

    • @QuietlyCurious
      @QuietlyCurious Před rokem +50

      There really needs to be a dating coach who prioritizes women's well-being and optimizes the woman's point of view.

    • @deezed6478
      @deezed6478 Před rokem +38

      @@QuietlyCurious there are plenty! Matt Boggs is a good one and so is Jason Silver. That said, Matthew Hussey is good but I completely disagree with his take that women shouldn’t expect men to pay for things unless they want to listen to the man’s every command. Because women do a lot of things men don’t do and it’s perfectly rational for the person who risks pregnancy to want a reliable provider.

    • @jeffreyjewell75
      @jeffreyjewell75 Před rokem

      Women get their hole broken in and become attached and sex is totally different for them.

    • @deezed6478
      @deezed6478 Před rokem +46

      @@jeffreyjewell75 You didn't read what I wrote properly. Why do men feel so comfortable hurting women? We don't go around carelessly punching people in the face when we're mad, just because it feels good to us. So why do men go around carelessly hurting women just because it feels good to them?

  • @ashlynnleray5640
    @ashlynnleray5640 Před rokem +446

    I love how Stephan stayed true to himself during this interview. He didn't impose his Godly views on the host, instead, he gently explained why he lives by them and why they work!

    • @JUST_MORELLA
      @JUST_MORELLA Před rokem +30

      Yes, great interview. If Godly views were mentioned, it would’ve been even better.

    • @ceecee8757
      @ceecee8757 Před rokem +15

      @@JUST_MORELLA exactly! Just like he does in his own channel. It could have been edited out. You know them atheists.

    • @judyo7
      @judyo7 Před rokem

      @@ceecee8757True!

    • @Laura-Yu
      @Laura-Yu Před rokem

      @@ceecee8757 ah, look at the stereotypical Christian hating on the atheists. And you wonder why us atheists don’t like being with your judgmental ass. I have no issues with people saying they believe in a deity, there are many atheists who don’t care if people say they believe in something ridiculous

    • @aprilrenaeofficial9668
      @aprilrenaeofficial9668 Před rokem

      🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

  • @dawnbrashear221
    @dawnbrashear221 Před 8 měsíci +6

    My husband and I had our first “date” at McDonald’s. He bought me a Mocha Frappe and we have been together ever since 🥰

  • @alicianicholson2016
    @alicianicholson2016 Před 10 měsíci +8

    Listen to what the person is saying. and their behavior towards you. Don't ignore the red flags and cutting off that person quickly

  • @RhondaR4
    @RhondaR4 Před rokem +635

    Stephan has played a big part in my life’s journey! He educated me in his videos and is the reason why I stopped having sex! I understand that sex is for marriage only! I’m living to please GOD not my flesh!🔥

    • @gracekirrane627
      @gracekirrane627 Před rokem +17

      Amen 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 🙏🏻

    • @frankbobby1930
      @frankbobby1930 Před rokem +16

      Amen 🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @frankbobby1930
      @frankbobby1930 Před rokem +41

      Exactly Rhonda ..I agree with u ..it hard to find the right person this days..No sex before marriage is the type of relationship am currently looking up too..

    • @mjohnson8206
      @mjohnson8206 Před rokem +6

      preach!!!

    • @KayciazWorld
      @KayciazWorld Před rokem +4

      Amen🙏✝️

  • @EMuro-wu7uy
    @EMuro-wu7uy Před rokem +325

    I had one guy that rather than reject me he set me up to catch him in bed with my best friend. Later when he cheated she came crying to me, wanting to be friends again. Later on he wanted me back. In both instances I said no, being hurt by both of them was hard. But letting either back in would have been bad for me.

    • @queennzingha2
      @queennzingha2 Před rokem +40

      What a self centered, self gratifying street meat coward he was and probably still is! No love lost there Beloved…you dodged a bullet with that one! And you were wise to let them have each other…they probably turned on one another after…❤ you and keep it pushing you have your whole life ahead of you!

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 Před rokem

      Omg 😳 noooo both were Scumbags. And that’s NOOOOO BEST FRIEND! More like Back stabbing Brutus

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 Před rokem +4

      @@queennzingha2 “let them”? Ah no choice

    • @judithfloyd6693
      @judithfloyd6693 Před rokem +5

      He was what I call a slug a worthles human being

    • @mwilliams-castillo9609
      @mwilliams-castillo9609 Před rokem +2

      Agree

  • @Aerie925
    @Aerie925 Před rokem +50

    I went on a coffee date with a guy. He had suggested a coffee date b/c it allowed us to not have have to spend a lot of money on a date that might not lead to more dates. “If it doesn’t work out, it was just coffee”. I actually respected that logic and ever since then those types of dates I don’t think, wow, this guy’s not really trying.

    • @e.zwegat7130
      @e.zwegat7130 Před 11 měsíci +6

      He should be really trying though. The getting to know compatibility part shouldn’t be the first date. Like I’m about to have a first date with a gentleman and he’s going all out. We talked on the phone for two hours last night and prior to that we’d been flirting online for months. Can’t ever redo a first date. That’s why I have phone conversations first.

    • @Aerie925
      @Aerie925 Před 11 měsíci +16

      @@e.zwegat7130 if the coffee date goes well, you can continue the date elsewhere, but I don’t need a complete stranger to pull out all the bells and whistles on the first date. I don’t really like talking on the phone, especially to a stranger, so there aren’t going to be any 2hr phone conversations before I’ve met someone. But everyone’s different in how they approach dating and what they expect.

    • @mirola73
      @mirola73 Před 9 měsíci +11

      @@Aerie925 100%
      A coffee date is a warm up date to see if things work out.
      Start small, then go bigger.

    • @Aerie925
      @Aerie925 Před 9 měsíci +6

      @@mirola73 it’s a good warmup to see if there’s any chemistry. If you’re enjoying each other you can continue to the date elsewhere or make plans for another date. If no chemistry, neither person has to invest a lot of time or money.

    • @loyduncan3728
      @loyduncan3728 Před 2 měsíci +5

      You can meet for coffee after work, but I have had several different dates that started out that way, then ended up clubbing all evening afterward or dinner and clubbing all evening. It was fun for both I think.

  • @allisonschneider924
    @allisonschneider924 Před 8 měsíci +28

    I love the level of emotional intelligence going into these conversations. Thank you for pushing us forward and lifting us up.

  • @frida.lorena.s
    @frida.lorena.s Před rokem +76

    "When we’re not right for each other people start to behave in ways that are not healthy" !!!!

  • @snm5207
    @snm5207 Před rokem +142

    In every long term relationship I've had, the man didn't pursue sex until months into the friendship/relationships. Once I asked a man why he didn't (after he spent the night and still didn't make the move) and he replied because he really liked me and wanted it to mean more as we got to know each other. I will NOT go on cheap dates no matter what. If a man can't take me to a nice place, he needs to work on his money. Ladies, don't lower your standards. WAIT until he's ready financially as well as emotionally.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +28

      It's great that you have a clear idea of what you want and are willing to stick to your standards. It's important for both partners to feel comfortable and valued in a relationship, and taking the time to get to know each other before pursuing a physical relationship can be a great way to build trust and emotional connection. However, it's also important to keep in mind that everyone's financial situation is different, and it's not always a reflection of their worth as a partner. Communication and understanding each other's needs and boundaries can help build a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

    • @missgmusic
      @missgmusic Před 10 měsíci +10

      Sleeping with someone on the 1st date or too early usually means they had the cake and ate it. It 's important to make the person fall in love with you in time,getting to know each other,have lots of fun together is the best way for the love to grow. Then sex is at its best.

    • @LuciferDeBrabant
      @LuciferDeBrabant Před 23 dny

      definitely, wait for him till some other woman who doesn't care about money takes him. and there you go, loosing a good man for a nice restaurant. i got my man from a woman just like you. and he is the best man alive. sexy, beautiful, protective. and guess what? we made money together. Stay alone with your high standards, no man will want you with this mentality. you know why, because you are just a woman between millions of other women. real man like real chicks, not some wannabe's.....

  • @aspadeaspade7163
    @aspadeaspade7163 Před 11 měsíci +18

    Stephan, your Mother brought you up right, and I bet some men hate you for giving away their secrets well done. Theres nothing scarier than a true connection and it doesnt happen often in a life time.
    Singledom is rarely spoken about as a life option but its better than living with a mis match.

  • @dubbup1895
    @dubbup1895 Před rokem +8

    Knowing right away whether a person is right for you. Every age dating men, I’ve always felt it, even blinded through attachments. The soul knows.

  • @jessdevault9967
    @jessdevault9967 Před rokem +54

    My husband and I call it our ZING! We have had a great energy since the first moment we met! We have a beautiful love for each other 6.5 years later.

    • @CanButler85
      @CanButler85 Před 2 měsíci

      Grown up stuff ❤ Congratulations!

  • @lrivera31
    @lrivera31 Před rokem +222

    This is a great conversation. The older I get; I don’t know if I really like someone until maybe 2nd or 3rd date. I determine potential friendship first and then romantic second. First dates should 💯 be simple if serious about dating. I judge men that sleep around. I don’t want any of that.

    • @lindawolfe2885
      @lindawolfe2885 Před 6 měsíci +1

      I agree. It’s not that I judge men who sleep around, and you probably don’t really judge them either. We’re just much less likely to be interested in building a relationship and having sex with them because of the potential for contagion and the likelihood that they won’t have the self control or self discipline for monogamy. They’d be more likely to stray from any sexual relationship.
      I truly believe that relationships between two people who are compatible and who both desire monogamy have the greatest chance for success and happiness.

  • @mistymarley9782
    @mistymarley9782 Před 10 měsíci +5

    I've listened to lots of relationship experts and then listened to this guy and now see he is the best. He debunks what they say. He is spot on all his videos

  • @alinagabrielamilosan8878
    @alinagabrielamilosan8878 Před 11 měsíci +19

    It’s all about connection indeed. You feel free to be yourself and beyond, getting the best out of you to share with the chosen one! So lovely and powerful! Thank you

  • @suntoshineastrologyandtaro1144

    All of this is ridiculous. I am sick of trying to deal with men. A good man doesn’t play games or put you through it. I will not allow men to invade my mental peace. The right guy brings peace and ease while dating. Walk away from all this senseless drama.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +20

      I'm sorry to hear that you've had negative experiences with men. It's important to prioritize your own mental peace and well-being in any relationship. However, it's also worth noting that not all men are the same, and there are many good men out there who do not play games or cause drama. It's okay to take a break from dating and focus on yourself, but don't let past experiences completely close you off to the possibility of a healthy and fulfilling relationship in the future.

    • @e.zwegat7130
      @e.zwegat7130 Před 11 měsíci +3

      ❤❤❤❤❤

    • @OceanicPearlz1
      @OceanicPearlz1 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@TSRRedRoomthis gave me hope

    • @davidsisson2026
      @davidsisson2026 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Yes, you should not. I've been out with a few ladies who played games it's no fun for us either. But you're young, hope you meet the right one.

    • @miakamei1751
      @miakamei1751 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Sounds like you didn't even bother finish watching the video and jumped straight to the comments. Dumping your trauma, huh?

  • @ozwomanid57
    @ozwomanid57 Před rokem +106

    I always ask. Confusion for me leads to hurt feelings. For me there is no decipher I ask. My boyfriend kissed me passionately on our first date so I asked. He told me this was his last rodeo, he wanted love and commitment. I told him I wanted the same thing.. Six months later we are living together and still talk. We don't do deciphering we do direct talk.

    • @CanButler85
      @CanButler85 Před 2 měsíci

      And this is how grown ups act. Kuddos 🎉

  • @KarmaGirlDreams
    @KarmaGirlDreams Před 7 měsíci +5

    The biggest nugget of gold is Stephan’s thoughts on how real love actually happens fast. I have so much clarity now. Thank you Stephan and Lisa ❤

  • @bereczk_toth_noemi
    @bereczk_toth_noemi Před rokem +21

    Thank you so much to both of you for this incredibly valuable conversation! I was constantly having lightbulb moments throughout the whole session! 🙏💙

  • @alexusellis3500
    @alexusellis3500 Před rokem +130

    This is so good. Women we have to know ourselves and what WE want. Most times we know what box we’ve put them in as well before a date. The problem is, if they’ve put us in the sex box we can’t handle it 😂 we start doing everything to try to prove we’re worth being in the girlfriend or wife box, even if we don’t want to be (with him)!! It might be ego, it might be an identity or worth issue, but either way focus on self, and if they don’t fit that’s okay!

    • @leanna107
      @leanna107 Před rokem +5

      This was the best comment! Your phrasing made my perspective really shift and made me question, is this really actually coming from a woman's own truth in wanting more, a biology thing, OR is it an adopted cultural view that makes us feel women are supposed to be a certain way?

    • @meghan3835
      @meghan3835 Před 9 měsíci

      💯

    • @ivanklimovich6656
      @ivanklimovich6656 Před 7 měsíci

      Could you please list all the boxes you put men in before date?

  • @venusian88
    @venusian88 Před rokem +81

    Stephen's integrity of character makes him a very attractive man! I think any man who builds his character this way attracts women of equal integrity, both wanting a real, genuine, honest relationship. Great interview. ❤

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the interview. If you want to learn more about relationships and dating, feel free to ask any questions or explore resources on the topic.

    • @livefromtheground7274
      @livefromtheground7274 Před 2 měsíci

      Facts

  • @alisonalibongo3177
    @alisonalibongo3177 Před 10 měsíci +6

    i met my partner after 7 years being singel. We took it slow & i did not let him into my apartment for the first 5 dates. We are enjoying every minute being together.

  • @SanctifiedLady
    @SanctifiedLady Před rokem +13

    He hit the nail in the head related to reaching orgasm with women… men don’t understand no matter how we explain that we don’t feel safe or secure in the relationship enough to allow our souls to be stole. To me security is his money … a man’s money could be a key to their heart… if he’s providing for me I feel he showing where his heart is…and that makes me more secure and safe…marriage is the ultimate security and proven safety with time.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +1

      It's understandable that feeling secure and safe in a relationship is important to you. Everyone has their own preferences and needs when it comes to feeling valued and appreciated. It's great to hear that you found Stephan's insights helpful. If you enjoy exploring themes of love, relationships, and intimacy, you might enjoy reading my short stories that delve into these topics. Check them out and let me know what you think!

  • @wandaharris7423
    @wandaharris7423 Před rokem +170

    I always always say” if at anytime you are no longer interested in me please tell me and it’s ok. In turn I will do the same.” I set that at the very beginning. I think it has help me to not be in something if both parties are not into it. There’s no hard feelings between either party.

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 Před rokem +31

      That’s unrealistic! 😂 emotionally immature men CANT ! They WONT

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +18

      That's a great approach to communication and setting expectations from the beginning. It shows that you value honesty and respect in a relationship and are willing to be open and upfront about your feelings. This can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line, and allows for a more mature and healthy approach to dating and relationships. Keep it up!

    • @whatoncewas8480
      @whatoncewas8480 Před rokem +12

      Right on. That’s called clarity, maturity, and establishing boundaries.

    • @melissawiley3688
      @melissawiley3688 Před rokem +5

      Awesome ❤

    • @Liz-or5it
      @Liz-or5it Před rokem +14

      Lots of men won't tell you the truth. That doesn't work. You should know for yourself if someone isn't on the same page as you.

  • @lisaariottiart
    @lisaariottiart Před rokem +28

    Totally true, if the Man is unwilling to provide safety and commitment I'm not opening up.

  • @randomreactions16
    @randomreactions16 Před 10 měsíci +10

    I TOTALLY agree with his view on keeping the first dates simple. Because I have found it's MUCH easier to make a real connection in those situations than it is in a place with too many distractions, like a bar/club, movies, concerts, etc. A personally prefer to go fishing with my dates, because it's something we both (usually) tend to enjoy, and it's quiet and personal enough for us to really get to know each other.

  • @michellekatarina17
    @michellekatarina17 Před rokem +13

    Such an amazing podcast. This man really knows what he’s saying. I see eye to eye to him. Congratulations Lisa for your guest. Such a great job you did together👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @shapeach
    @shapeach Před rokem +45

    Something I will say that helped me understand about letting go of the wrong person. We keep hoping and waiting for the person we fell in love with or we thought we were in love with to show up.. That is why women hang on for so long. Cause for us we believe they are still that person, not realizing that person is long gone or that person wasn't who we thought they were. Once you recognize they are not that person anymore .. you will find it much easier to move on.

  • @EMuro-wu7uy
    @EMuro-wu7uy Před rokem +63

    I do agree with this, but also look at our own patterns. I've held back many times because things weren't right, subconsciously I knew it, but I protect myself by holding back. I can't make a guy mine who doesn't want to be there. Put in healthy boundaries that we need.

  • @Aerie925
    @Aerie925 Před rokem +22

    I think a lot of women end up getting married b/c they’re too afraid to say no. We’re often conditioned to not want to hurt people’s (especially a man’s) feelings, so women often say yes to proposals that they don’t really want either.
    “Dating for dinner” Is a real thing 😂 now, it’s never been my sole intention to go out with a guy simply to get a few meal, but sometimes if I’m not sure about a guy before I go out with him, I rationalize it as, “well, if things don’t work out, you got a meal out of it”-if that makes sense

    • @anteantic986
      @anteantic986 Před 11 měsíci

      you're a monster

    • @XGD5layer
      @XGD5layer Před 11 měsíci +1

      Honestly, rationalizing it as "at least I'll get a meal out of it" probably creates a barrier to connection.

  • @tati70709
    @tati70709 Před rokem +5

    I have just watched this video, was laughing and crying, so sincere and touching, especially the words"living your truth", thank you so much for the video ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @titania8375
    @titania8375 Před rokem +33

    This man is incredibly! !!! He is understanding women so much!!

  • @emiliemendoza9652
    @emiliemendoza9652 Před rokem +46

    It's intersting to see, as a 40-something woman divoced with children, how the dating game is different. I know what I want, I know my value and worth, I can verbalise my desires. If this pushes away a man, well better now then in 6 moths after investing so much! I guess what is at stake is different since family and nest building is no longer such an important preoccupation. Sexual promiscuity neither... I just don't care anymore what society has to say about this, weather your a man or a woman. We are so afraid to be clear... Happy I am getting past that.

    • @anteantic986
      @anteantic986 Před 11 měsíci

      No high value man wants some old chick with kids sorry to tell you that but you must lower your standards in order to find a man..

    • @ShandaMichelle1
      @ShandaMichelle1 Před 11 měsíci +13

      This is such a lie. Value comes with having children for some men… some men want a family and never had one. Also, some men aren’t shallow and don’t care about you being 40ish, they care about your morals, your kindness and the chemistry between the two of you.
      There are sexy, high value, morally sound men out there interested in someone like her!! Facts

    • @emiliemendoza9652
      @emiliemendoza9652 Před 11 měsíci +6

      @@anteantic986 well, didn't lower, got them up instead. Guess this «old chick» as you disrespectfully qualify a women you don't know has found a high value man. Very happy with the outcome. Don't adhere too strickly to some kind of functioning system, it closes doors for you. Instead, make the best you can from your life and aim high. Understand what are your goals in life, what are your values, become someone that has something to bring to the table but only bring it if you fell the other is up to your standards. Or else, you set yourself up for an abusive relationship. Who cares if it is not the written story society wants us to follow. You are setting yourself a glass ceiling by overthinking what «general man» want. You are setting yourself for failure. Weather you are a man or women telling derogatory untrue things hiding behind your keyboard, life has more to offer then what you portray. Good luck passing that.

  • @leanna107
    @leanna107 Před rokem +15

    It all comes back down to don't be giving out sex and let the guys see the value of a true relationship and commitment. Instead everyone is ready to get instant things when they honestly haven't even done any work to figure out if there's substance. This is why more men used to put in the effort and get to know the lady because there are certain perks that come with that including sex. No wonder there is no motivation to get to true connection- everyone is not even being challenged to grow!

  • @sandram4670
    @sandram4670 Před 10 měsíci +5

    The first date should be simple and about getting to know the person in front of you, not about a fabulous experience... YES! That's the perfect date and way to start. Less stress and expectations for both of you.
    I don't want or need a fabulous experience clouding my judgment no more than I want or need sex clouding my judgment.
    Stephan is gold!

  • @Melli510
    @Melli510 Před rokem +23

    The sex part is so right that is why you shouldn't have it too soon especially if you have no real connection or you're not comfortable yet.

  • @avig8334
    @avig8334 Před rokem +58

    My key takeaways :
    -the true value should be getting to know the person
    - pay attention to how you feel ( be mindful that you are more likely to be lenient when you like a person ; still go in to the situation being you look for if their a right fit for YOU)

    • @davidlindsay131
      @davidlindsay131 Před rokem +2

      That's Two signs, (thank you), what's the 3rd?

    • @arunimalalasekera1232
      @arunimalalasekera1232 Před rokem +2

      Awesome conversation.
      I want to see the truth and live in the truth.
      God bless!

  • @brookebenton8192
    @brookebenton8192 Před rokem +12

    Yes, especially to the last part! The worst advice I hear people giving women is to see instant connection as a red flag. They also tell them to go on multiple dates with a guy and keep pushing forward in it even if they feel no attraction, connection or chemistry. I never hear men being told this!! If a man isn't feeling it he doesn't force the issue!!

  • @af7521
    @af7521 Před rokem +3

    I needed to hear this. I'm grateful I found this page, and this man was the guest.
    I am truly grateful.
    Thank you so much for doing this and teaching us.

  • @louiseelizabeth9613
    @louiseelizabeth9613 Před rokem +39

    That is actually good advice - low key first date. Removes pressure of finances or sex. But it does rely on first impression processing. I think more people should use better screening before the first date, asking better questions, quick 5 min face time etc, so as to avoid wasting too much in person time. Then being hyper aware of red flags and asking the right questions rather than floating through it. Being clear before you even start dating on what you are looking for (essentials and desireables) and your own boundaries (hard and soft). It's about tactics, rather than blaming the other sex for this or that.

  • @carolinefabri4919
    @carolinefabri4919 Před rokem +81

    It's all about perspective and staying true to oneself. Keeping expectations low but standards high. Loved how Stephan was brutaly genuine in this interview and also reminded us of how fundamentally different men and women think and what each gender needs in order to feel connected. Thanks Lisa and Stephan for such a real, necessary, and enlightening topic!

    • @ciao2315
      @ciao2315 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Thanks for pointing that out!! Expectations low and standards high ❤

  • @chosenonekay
    @chosenonekay Před 11 měsíci +7

    Protect this man. He is right about everythingggg

  • @juliawladysiak
    @juliawladysiak Před rokem +23

    this talk made me realise i will be forever single, thanks! turning 25 in 3 weeks

  • @shannonharmon9317
    @shannonharmon9317 Před rokem +67

    This interview was so insightful & informative. Stephan explains things so plain & simply while being very respectful of other people’s lifestyles. We need more conversations like this

  • @carrikartes1403
    @carrikartes1403 Před 2 měsíci +3

    On my first date with my husband I remember looking across the table and deciding I was going to be 100% myself.
    It was a whirlwind courtship. We got engaged a month later and we're married less than 4 months after our first date.
    Our physical intimacy was slow but intense.
    We have been happily married for over 25 years.
    I have been honestly myself with him for our whole relationship.
    I can talk to him about everything and he tells me daily that he loves me.
    It pays to be yourself.

  • @zz-t8109
    @zz-t8109 Před 11 měsíci +4

    "How they handle your feelings about it" is key. thank you

  • @jimcan59
    @jimcan59 Před rokem +89

    Women watching just start a fanvue and you will be sorted

  • @cinthyaraudales5033
    @cinthyaraudales5033 Před rokem +32

    My husband waited almost 2 years. I told him no sex until marriage . He respected me. Happily married 14 years.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +3

      That's great to hear! It's important to set boundaries and have mutual respect in a relationship. Congratulations on your long and happy marriage.

    • @kimberlyturner820
      @kimberlyturner820 Před 11 měsíci +1

      I NEED a man like that 😭

  • @BeataCollazo-ti7os
    @BeataCollazo-ti7os Před 10 měsíci +2

    It's all about the vibe for me. I know it's a no just from a text...ask questions on the very first date, boundries...Great interview! 💫✨

  • @winning3329
    @winning3329 Před rokem +3

    Don't sleep with a man until me marries you, if he leaves then let him.
    You dodge a huge bullet

  • @kmcox16
    @kmcox16 Před rokem +19

    This is why I do drinks only for first date. I don’t want a man to spend money on dinner not knowing if we will be a good match.
    I don’t sleep with them early on either. It just muddies the water of whether there is real connection.

  • @simpleandkind
    @simpleandkind Před rokem +95

    Stephan is so smart, understanding, compassionate and realistic about both man & woman as human beings trying to figure out the complexity of dating. Lisa is always a great interviewer and keeps the conversation flows easily. I can understand/relate to both men and women in this process, hope each of us can focus on self development, self awareness, honestly to self and others and spend time to learn about conscious dating and relationship education. I appreciate your time and wisdom shared in this podcast!!! ❤
    For my understanding right now, if that person is a potential good match, we don't have to try too hard; and if he/she is not the one, be honest and brave enough to accept this is not it and move on, as quickly and peacefully as we can 💖

  • @TheAttractionTriggers
    @TheAttractionTriggers Před 6 měsíci +4

    *It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.*

  • @lisalee3067
    @lisalee3067 Před rokem +2

    This guy really explains this topic in the best and most truthful manner I’ve ever heard.

  • @jackiedinarske8101
    @jackiedinarske8101 Před rokem +29

    I had been trying to force feelings for a man I’ve been dating for a couple of months but knew something was up with him..,turns out he was dating two other women at the same time. He was not attentive and rarely called during the week…my intuition was telling me something was off. And he was upset that I ended it! Lol. I’m kinda done with dating for awhile and am waiting for the right one to fall in my lap…I’m tired lol

  • @florencia2771
    @florencia2771 Před rokem +39

    If a man has sex w you on the first date, he’s not marriage material, leave him ( if you’re interested in marriage)

  • @jodibowling-eq3gj
    @jodibowling-eq3gj Před rokem +8

    It has been my experience that telling the man you would rather have the hard conversation, even if it hurts, still doesn't prompt him to call things off or have the needed conversation. The man has still chosen to walk away silently.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem

      I understand that it can be frustrating when someone chooses to walk away without having the conversation, even when you've expressed a willingness to have a difficult conversation. Unfortunately, some people are simply not ready or willing to have that conversation, and it's important to respect their boundaries even if it's not what you would prefer.
      That being said, it's also important to make sure that you're communicating clearly and effectively in these situations.

  • @moumitabiswas1801
    @moumitabiswas1801 Před 11 měsíci +4

    This podcast was so informative and entertaining to watch. Stephan was fantastic. I guess now I got my next dating ideas from this episode. Thanks Lisa for bringing Stephan on your show ❤

  • @julie_632
    @julie_632 Před rokem +36

    ‘We don’t live life to decide and create who we want to be, we live life to discover who we actually are’. 💥💥💥

    • @MsAdreaL
      @MsAdreaL Před rokem +2

      Right?! That was Fire!! 🔥🎤

    • @1hunny51
      @1hunny51 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Yesssss!!!🙏🏽🔥🙏🏽🔥

  • @pattypatsspeakingjourney
    @pattypatsspeakingjourney Před rokem +36

    Omg, I'm listening to this podcast as I'm running errands and I'm blown away by all the truths. Thank you for sharing this conversation! 🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️

  • @LoveTruth44
    @LoveTruth44 Před 11 měsíci +14

    Yes ! ! ! Exactly ! When it's the " real deal ", it happens instantaneously because it has to do with our SPIRIT . . . our spirits " recognize " each other . . . and our spirit is ageless/timeless. I've read/heard countless testimonies of that being the case, where it was immediate... and they even claim to still be in love decades later !! 😲❤❤‍🔥

  • @shantihstar
    @shantihstar Před 10 měsíci +7

    Yes God is what we all need. As for wanting I want friendships and relationships that are genuine, caring and supportive, because that enhances life! 💖

  • @esnova11
    @esnova11 Před rokem +15

    I always liked simplified things especially on first few days, go to walks, get coffee and chat, do something together, makes me feel at ease so I don't feel uncomfortable at expensive first date dinners.

  • @alia9314
    @alia9314 Před rokem +46

    What an absolutely powerful and informative discussion!!!! So much to empower one to speak transparently, notice red flag jargon and identify when the connection is there in a relationship!!!! This is fantastic and worth listening to more than once. Thank you both! Stephan, you’re incredible.

  • @Minga842
    @Minga842 Před 10 měsíci +6

    He sums it up. Men just need to be more honest. If they ain’t feeling a girl. Say that. But don’t stay cause you don’t have the courage to tell her or you are afraid of looking like the bad guy. That’s how you damage women. It’s like having a mosquito bite compared to a shark bite. We much rather get bit my a mosquito.

  • @drkellyzimmerman3333
    @drkellyzimmerman3333 Před 9 měsíci +1

    This is an EXCELLENT video presentation! The Facilitator asked Relatable Questions and Shared Personal Experiences, and the Guest Provided Substantiated Information. I Gleaned Much from it and look forward to seeing MORE!!

  • @glasshousefuture6836
    @glasshousefuture6836 Před rokem +38

    I like the fact that Stephan says 'If each person is willing to put in the work on themselves, they could still have a chance at things working out between them'. I feel that sometimes, people just didn't understand how harmful they had been during a relationship that could have gone great if they had some inward insight and understanding about how they operate and also their partner. But if (even if late) they work hard on gaining that insight and understanding about themselves at least, they can become a better person for that effort, and even if a second time around doesn't come along for them, at least you would have improved yourself into probably being, not only a better partner, but also daughter, sibling and friend.

    • @TSRRedRoom
      @TSRRedRoom Před rokem +7

      Yes, personal growth and self-improvement are crucial for successful relationships. It takes effort and introspection to recognize our own flaws and work on them. In doing so, not only can we become better partners, but also better individuals in all areas of our lives. It's important to remember that relationships are not just about finding the right person, but also about being the right person.

    • @zuhurahrukosa4879
      @zuhurahrukosa4879 Před 11 měsíci

      Perfect said ❤

  • @amalia5699
    @amalia5699 Před rokem +27

    Stephan Is a god sent! I’ve learned so much about men, relationships and myself. 🙌🏽

    • @jewelniles4041
      @jewelniles4041 Před 8 měsíci

      Did you say God sent for being able to or wanting to SIN???🤨 Men are supposed to be the HEAD(his head is THE MOST HIGH) if you have to tell a man to hold out for marriage because FORNICATION IS A SIN!! (APOCALYPSE OF PAUL: fornicator was hung by their loins in that place of FIRE) WHAT TYPE OF LEADER IS THAT.. HE SHOULD BE MAINTAINING RIGHTEOUSNESS!!! celibacy IS RIGHTEOUS as The Most High says to do..

  • @BabyFaceRose
    @BabyFaceRose Před rokem +1

    Stephan is great !! Truly. He’s great at what he does and ALWAYS has valid takes

  • @user-yi4tk7ts7s
    @user-yi4tk7ts7s Před 9 měsíci +1

    FANTASTIC HONESTY!
    Loved this so much. Thank you!!!