How Self-Forgiveness Saved My Life | Josh Galarza | TEDxNewburgh

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  • čas přidán 26. 06. 2019
  • I was able to overcome my inner battle by finding self forgiveness, so I share my story in hopes that it will help others find it too. Josh Galarza is a Mental Health advocate, emphasizing the need for mental wellness in everyday life for everyday people. In a vulnerable talk that strikes emotion, he shares his story on how self-forgiveness saved his life. This is a talk for humanity. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 460

  • @coachdawn
    @coachdawn Před 4 lety +1083

    I just sent this to my 22 year old son. He truly is so hard on himself for every failure or age appropriate bad decision. He needs to forgive himself and love himself. He’s a beautiful soul and I hope this ted talk gives him courage. Thank you for telling your story. I know it’s saving lives. Servant leadership is so important for our young people to witness. I pray that you are doing well. I’m grateful to have been lead to you today. God bless 🙏🏽

    • @gyanmehrotra7778
      @gyanmehrotra7778 Před 4 lety +45

      I'm 22 years old myself and I relate to him so much. I feel he feels the same way I do, always realizing in hindsight what I should have done, said and what could have been if I only did the right thing. Im really hard on myself and very lenient with others, you're doing amazing supporting him!

    • @coachdawn
      @coachdawn Před 4 lety +18

      gyan mehrotra I hope you can also find the support you need as well. You’re never alone. You’re a gentle soul and thank you for your kind words. Love and light ✨🙏🏽❤️

    • @samuelscherban501
      @samuelscherban501 Před 4 lety +12

      I am feeling right now like everything you just described. This video helped, and best wishes to you and your son. 😄 The inability to forgive myself when everyone around me has forgotten about the situation is agonizing.

    • @jlopez7967
      @jlopez7967 Před 3 lety +8

      @@gyanmehrotra7778 yeah I was thinking the exact same thing, and much of my issues of course affect my mother, and so I too, like most of us, too feel sorry for my mom, and I wish her to forgive everything wrong that I do. So to see a mother understanding and forgiving, and also wanting her son to forgive himself too, really does help and relieve part of that guilt; because of the understanding. So thank you.

    • @DariusKu
      @DariusKu Před 3 lety +8

      I’m 19 and same as your son, hard on myself and my past and failures and others are hard on me too, finally I see a mom here that truly understands, I feel relieved.
      Thank you.

  • @oma1899
    @oma1899 Před 3 lety +636

    Forgive yourself for what you did and what you didn't... Accept & move on to be a better person in life. Forgive yourself cause you aren't perfect.

  • @tammylwoodell87
    @tammylwoodell87 Před 4 lety +666

    My 16 year old daughter sent me this link with the message “Watch this when you start feeling guilty about the past. “ I’m so happy she shared this with me. His words made a positive difference for me.

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety +14

      Ocean Pebbles thank you so much for the kind words! Keep fighting and stay strong!

    • @fromhell11112
      @fromhell11112 Před 10 měsíci +2

      PLEASE KEEP HER SAFE ONLINE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THE INTERNET IS FULL OF PREDITORS SO PLEASE MAKE SHE SHES NOT TALKING TO STRANGERS AND WATCH THE CONTENT SHES CONSUMING!!!!!! there is a epidemic of groomers online, every corner, every app, anything with a comment section or chat box is dangerous, so i hope you see this message and i hope your girl is safe

    • @annmarieknapp2480
      @annmarieknapp2480 Před 10 měsíci +2

      I hope you find peace. You sound like a lovely person and everyone deserves forgiveness. That includes ourselves. Your daughter is a great human being. You dud that. Reared a kind and empathetic young person who loves you and wants you to live in peace with knowledge you deserve it. Hugs to you and your family.

    • @joshuakohn4408
      @joshuakohn4408 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Just remember this "whenever you feel guilty about the past it shows your current day morals have exceeded your past mistakes and this proof of growth' so basically you are not the person who made those mistakes you are the person that learned from them!

  • @Vocalzone_covers
    @Vocalzone_covers Před 4 lety +541

    Boy do I relate to this.. My days are dark. I'm worried I won't cope. I carry the guilt of my past around and can't let it go. Life isn't a good place to be.

    • @ragnorockthefierce6992
      @ragnorockthefierce6992 Před 4 lety +62

      No life is a great gift
      That we must choose to use
      I can't say I'm in a good place but we can only reach a better place by moving onwards

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety +28

      Keep fighting! You’ve got this, I believe in you.

    • @celticphilomena
      @celticphilomena Před 4 lety +10

      Chris Keef I know how hard it is but there is a way through. Nature has been a great healer, go well. Blessings to you 🙏

    • @vrschwrngsthrtkr22
      @vrschwrngsthrtkr22 Před 4 lety +3

      You just didn't read the manual on how to use your brain.

    • @Lovez411
      @Lovez411 Před 3 lety +15

      One day at a time, I know it sounds cliché but it truly helps. Do as much as you can to enjoy your day, whether it's a delicious drink or walking on the grass. Be gentle with yourself. Please.

  • @apocalypsgoddess1
    @apocalypsgoddess1 Před 3 lety +95

    I got a little choked up at the end when he said "I'm gonna congratulate you in advance". It made me feel like I'm worthy of self forgiveness and that someone believes in me enough and wants me to do it.

  • @clarinamascarenhas7499
    @clarinamascarenhas7499 Před 3 lety +164

    I find it hard to forgive myself a lot of the time where other people who have done the same things probably wouldnt think twice.

    • @neals2955
      @neals2955 Před 3 lety +4

      omg same!!!

    • @smileyface5350
      @smileyface5350 Před 3 lety +7

      Please.have some self respect..stay away from them and speak up for urself

    • @carnivoroussarah
      @carnivoroussarah Před 2 lety +9

      I can understand that. I've done awful things and think 1 billion times in them. They eat me alive. My stomach is in shambles.

    • @austinhartwell5479
      @austinhartwell5479 Před rokem +2

      @@carnivoroussarahmine too I did not treat myself with kindness and lashed out on others because of it.

  • @valvenis2601
    @valvenis2601 Před 5 měsíci +42

    I’m 27. Can’t even begin to explain how many poor decisions or people I’ve hurt. I’ve been an alcoholic for 7 years. It’s taken nearly everything from me. About to lose my license for a year, lost the girl of my dreams in May, and she’s happily cuddled up with her new man on instagram. Ruined family relationships. Friends, jobs, everything. I cry every single day. I’ve given up hope things will get better but I’m still trying, I guess. I just never thought my life would be like this. Had such a bright future and threw it away for a bottle. Anyway, thanks for this.

    • @joseph8468
      @joseph8468 Před 5 měsíci +10

      Keep holding on, brother. Sobriety; living happily, joyfully. & freely is indeed possible. You can become that best self that you know. I am asking my Higher Power (God) this very minute to bless you and to fill you with His Peace & Wisdom.
      Be well young man.

    • @savemyeyebrows6613
      @savemyeyebrows6613 Před 5 měsíci +5

      @@joseph8468It's good that you are just 27 and realizing it so sooon. I have seen family and family member of my friend's whose alcohol addiction ruined a lot of things. they realised it in their 40s. But they got over it. So you can as well.

    • @Cornelious1882
      @Cornelious1882 Před 4 měsíci +1

      With respect use that as fuel to put a stop who, up until now you used to be right. We have so many technologies methods that can help. You are still young 27. You really can forgive yourself. So do it. Can live today as if its your first. Let the past go keep moving yes keep trying. Many people have defeated it which means you will too. check. faster. List. free may help. I really want you to come back here and give us an update on positive changes making seriously. You've got this

    • @drbladerunner
      @drbladerunner Před měsícem

      Thanks for sharing. Hang on. It will get better. I'll be praying 🙏

    • @valvenis2601
      @valvenis2601 Před měsícem +3

      @@drbladerunner it has gotten better. A month and a half sober right now. Still fixing things but things are getting better slowly but surely. Thank you for the positive energy, I send it right back atcha

  • @fitforfreelance
    @fitforfreelance Před 3 lety +181

    self-forgiveness is crucial to self-compassion and reaching your goals!

    • @Selfemployedmildautisticartist
      @Selfemployedmildautisticartist Před rokem

      But still talker and I miss school speeches and teaching project etc anyway um u didn't deserve it and would knowing why he was that way have changed ur fears and discomfort ? Also cop waa a gentleman ha lol
      Commenter curious bout ur channel well check it out next

  • @AngeloKevon
    @AngeloKevon Před 3 lety +307

    I feel guilty for my past, I’m 21 and I have high dreams of influencing others and inspiring with my creativity. But I’m having so much trouble forgiving myself and pursuing anything because there are negative perceptions of me that I feel will literally destroy my life. And the amount of people who think I’m a terrible person is a small one but I identify with this constant past version of me. So I’ve been stuck for months not trying anything.

    • @ScottaySeigel
      @ScottaySeigel Před 3 lety +72

      25 and dealing with this exact issue right now. The way people are on the internet can leave you feeling like you have no chance of redemption or becoming a better person. It's something I can't stand about the world now. Integrity and character are more important and I truly think people are deserving of being able to live out their dreams regardless of an imperfect past. People expect so much perfection out of everybody but if they truly saw the complete context to somebody's life, they wouldn't be so harsh. People are scared now more than anything of how others think of them.
      I believe in you and I hope you conquer this. I feel I'm going through an extremely similar time right now and I so desperately want these feelings to be gone. I hope the same for you.

    • @funtoncorpor1245
      @funtoncorpor1245 Před 3 lety +32

      omg I know exactly how you feel and its such a scary and terrifying feeling. The negative perceptions part especially hit home.

    • @krystingrant6292
      @krystingrant6292 Před 3 lety +19

      Same I've caused myself so much trauma

    • @AngeloKevon
      @AngeloKevon Před 3 lety +3

      @@krystingrant6292 here if you need to vent

    • @AngeloKevon
      @AngeloKevon Před 3 lety +3

      @@funtoncorpor1245 here if you need to vent

  • @artboxfashion4042
    @artboxfashion4042 Před 11 měsíci +20

    Sometimes undiagnosed OCD can cause thought spirals, rumination and "unforgiveness". Its an anxiety disorder. You can't forgive, let go, or stop thinking because you BRAIN wont let you. It's not your fault. And don't feel bad if you can't forgive everyone. What I'm getting from this person, is his obsessive thought was he caused this abusive man's death. The thought was causing bad feelings and spirals. Instead, he needed to rewire his thinking to what it really was: the illness caused this man's death. OCD treatment is Exposure Response Prevention, and also bringing out those unwanted thought spirals and seeing them for what they are: Anxious Thoughts about yourself and others.

  • @kamyaarora1395
    @kamyaarora1395 Před 2 lety +124

    I'm 22 and feel exactly the same. I hurt someone I love really bad and cut ties with him. Now when I think of going back, I'm confused if it's because of guilt or love. And in case it's because of guilt, I don't wanna go back because he deserves someone who would love him with all their heart. I also have OCD, and have intrusive thoughts, sometimes about the same person and I just can't do anything but feel guilty and not deserving of love or happiness.

    • @luliyashmendi5809
      @luliyashmendi5809 Před 2 lety +6

      The same😭😭😭

    • @gurveerkaur2819
      @gurveerkaur2819 Před 2 lety +4

      Kamya may u find peace nd love dear...

    • @suhanisharma4096
      @suhanisharma4096 Před rokem +2

      Same here😭

    • @mercedesjordan2206
      @mercedesjordan2206 Před rokem +7

      I wish I didn't understand your pain

    • @anikethantv5233
      @anikethantv5233 Před rokem +15

      I'm 23. My girlfriend broke up with me for a terrible mistake that i did. Its been around a month since we broke up. Each and every day i cried asking for forgiveness... But she couldn't forgive me because she knew she deserved better.... Do you know i felt the same thing too i felt i don't deserve her, I was in guilt for messing up what we had... I cried.... i thought i shouldn't be there in this world... She loved me so much and still how could I hurt her and push her away.... I was in too much guilt, I thought I'll go mad and end up in hospital... I realised I'm not doing good by suffering myself in guilt, it's not going to help either me or her... She has forgiven me, she still talks to me but she's hurt with what I've done. She just can't get back to me... I'm scared to lose her because she was everything to me. I loved her soo much...
      But I know I have to get up I have a life.... I'm not dead yet.... I can still do good in life... I'm sure she deserves better now... But I also know I can become a person that she deserves if I work hard..... I can't correct the mistake I've done.... But i can forgive myself and do good in life... I feel we all need to pay for mistakes to forgive oneself..... I find god in innocent people, so I want to help them..... I want to earn a good money and donate it... I want to do social service and help them.... I feel I can forgive myself by doing this..... Do something to others, help others which will help you to forgive yourself.... Learn to accept things...
      I Hope this helps you to be better in life.... Please forgive yourself cuz until then you are stuck... and can't move ahead.

  • @michielweisbeek3283
    @michielweisbeek3283 Před 2 lety +34

    1.Forgive yourself
    2.Forgive others
    3.Treat yourself with kind eyes
    4. Do at at your own pace
    Rules of a happy life. Earl Nighingale

    • @imsofocused4678
      @imsofocused4678 Před 2 lety

      What's the name of the program by Earl Nightingale.

  • @sonjaivanova3795
    @sonjaivanova3795 Před 4 lety +259

    I have no clue why this doesn’t have more views. This man is a great storyteller and I empathize with him deeply. In my opinion, this is the best and most helpful TED Talk about self forgiveness that I’ve come across.

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety +1

      I'm Sof thank you for your kind words!

    • @anapaola7241
      @anapaola7241 Před 3 lety

      because it takes self love to allow yourself to seek help and heal. (M19e10feb1:14.021:)

  • @matthewwhitehead5571
    @matthewwhitehead5571 Před 4 lety +182

    Just listening to this brought to tears. I have so much anger in me that I feel like I can't let it go. Listening to this tells me that I can let it go and move forward. Thank you for this much love.

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety +7

      Matthew Whitehead keep fighting! It’s a long and courageous battle, I know you can do it.

    • @sarahf1107
      @sarahf1107 Před 2 lety

      @@justjoshin38 Aww, you're so sweet... 🥺❤. You have such a kind heart and soul 💖.

    • @kirkb2286
      @kirkb2286 Před 2 lety +4

      I can really relate to you . The only time I didn’t have anger in my life was when I was high on drugs. Two years ago my father died his last words to me was “stop talking you are bothering me “ I closed his eyes and the funeral home picked him up at 4am. I had so much anger for this man I didn’t have to choke back any tears. BUT I realized I had to forgive him for my sake. You are a wonderful person and as soon as you realize that you will be free like I am . I send you ❤️

  • @sweetiemin4654
    @sweetiemin4654 Před 3 lety +71

    I send this to my own messenger. This relieves my anxiety.

    • @AmyJackson-_-85
      @AmyJackson-_-85 Před 3 lety +4

      I send myself stuff all the time. I keep quotes in texts and videos in messenger.

  • @loggedout8572
    @loggedout8572 Před rokem +43

    Needed this. The amount of guilt I feel is insane. I feel like I’ve ruined everything for myself and I turn 18 next month

    • @centykaia4450
      @centykaia4450 Před rokem +9

      You have so much time trust me

    • @ShaunHolden
      @ShaunHolden Před rokem +2

      @@centykaia4450 have you managed to forgive yourself?

    • @wrightxyon5387
      @wrightxyon5387 Před rokem +1

      Bro I turned eighteen and I've been going through so much s***and it's all my fault. I need to forgive myself for the things that I can't take away otherwise I'm not going to make it in this world.

  • @elbenji
    @elbenji Před 3 lety +79

    i'm sobbing as i'm typing this because i have so much guilt from the past self that i used to be...i was reborn again in August 2020 where i left all the dark past behid to start a new life of peace and happiness and yet i still have times when i feel such a heavy burden of guilt from all the bad things i did and all the people i hurt...it makes me feel so bad inside that i'm desperately looking for a solution and this video hit me hard...i pray that I can let my past go and start living as myself....day 124 of not getting a full night's sleep

    • @PK-vt6ed
      @PK-vt6ed Před 2 lety +3

      I’m sorry to hear this. Stay strong Ben. I need to as well.
      🎚💜

    • @sr-qk1th
      @sr-qk1th Před 2 lety +2

      stay strong. it'll be okay

    • @carnivoroussarah
      @carnivoroussarah Před 2 lety +4

      Oh man can relate on that sleep part. Guilt is hard to accommodate with sleep.

    • @nancykhandelwal7156
      @nancykhandelwal7156 Před 2 lety +2

      I can totally relate to this. Not able to sleep with the guilt. I want to forgive myself so bad. Sending you healing Vibes

    • @ShaunHolden
      @ShaunHolden Před rokem

      @@carnivoroussarah Have you managed to deal with the guilt?

  • @debbiemckenna5
    @debbiemckenna5 Před 7 měsíci +11

    I am 53 yrs old and cannot forgive myself for taking my kids to my Xhusbands when I got really depressed. I think my son hates me. I think about suicide but I wont do anything because I don’t want them to suffer. It is so difficult to forgive all the mistakes I have made in the past. I have a lot of fear for the future too. I need to forgive myself for the past and stop worrying about the future and stay in the present. It is soooo hard. Please pray for me.

    • @nbasfanatic
      @nbasfanatic Před 5 měsíci +1

      Hey Debbie, hope things are doing better in these past 2 months.
      I’m going through the same thing as a young man in his 20s and just wanted to extend a hand and let you know that I truly truly forgive you. Please keep going and maintain that present moment! Trust me this hit home as I know the feeling of hopelessness and feeling destined to shame for eternity. I don’t know if you’re in therapy but that has been helping me a ton and I truly do pray you receive the love and forgiveness you are worthy of, and not just from others but from most importantly yourself! Love always and stay safe. Holla at me if you need me

  • @sc7244
    @sc7244 Před 3 lety +74

    Man I needed this. I’ve lied over such small things because I’m insecure about certain things, and it weighs heavily on my conscious.

    • @ichiigo-chan
      @ichiigo-chan Před 2 lety +8

      I can totally feel you on this one! I've done this too and some other mistakes but either way, I believe we deserve forgiveness. Everyone does.

    • @bhavanithillai
      @bhavanithillai Před 6 měsíci

      Me too 😢

    • @lilbabytears
      @lilbabytears Před 4 měsíci

      This

  • @zeybae8220
    @zeybae8220 Před 21 dnem

    I remember watching this and crying my eyes out almost exactly one year ago. I was seeking for forgiving myself but didn't get to it easily, as it is a tough path. So many have changed since then, which I am so grateful for. Now, I am gradually doing better things and making better choices for myself. I believe everyone needs one to be on their side to protect them, root for them, uplift them no matter what. I choose to be that person for myself because now I know I am worthy of it.

  • @GlenB1963
    @GlenB1963 Před 4 lety +94

    Excellent Ted talk. People don't consider self forgiveness yet we need to to be all that we can be in life. We are not going to be able to move forward if we are tied to our past through unforgiveness. I'm only just discovering the freedom that comes through self forgiveness. Thank you for this powerful talk.

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety

      G thank you so much for the kind words!

  • @Mecca188
    @Mecca188 Před rokem +6

    I’ve made a lot of bad decisions lately,I’ve been so hard on myself for my failures based on my mistakes but I want to forgive myself,accept my mistakes as lessons and learn and move on from them

  • @user-ly6bb4zd7t
    @user-ly6bb4zd7t Před 7 měsíci +7

    I am 64 and again, I find myself needing to forgive myself.

    • @joshuakohn4408
      @joshuakohn4408 Před 4 měsíci +1

      IDK what you did or if this helps at all but I FORGIVE you my friend :)

  • @MegaBuuHuu
    @MegaBuuHuu Před rokem +15

    I couldn't stop weeping through this whole video. The topic of forgiveness has been my biggest emotionally loaded problem lately and I still don't know why. I just start crying more when I say to myself that I didn't do anything wrong back then and I was just a child. I think these tears are healing and important, so I can finally find out whats really going on and learn to forgive myself over time. Thank you so much for sharing this personal story

  • @briandaniel9015
    @briandaniel9015 Před 4 lety +79

    incredible. one of my favorite leaders. thank you for your courage my brother & a huge congrats on this performance!

  • @Anushka-hn5uk
    @Anushka-hn5uk Před rokem +11

    This video just saved my life today. Thank you so much. May God bless you.

  • @dontran391
    @dontran391 Před 4 lety +95

    It is so hard to self forgiveness because we are humans still having a hard time trying to understand and know ourselves.
    I myself still trying to figure out who I am as a person. Especially with my case I have a hard time trying to self forgive for my sins which is being too attached to people around me that some would feel scared or harassed from my clingy needs. I did not mean to make people around me feel scared. I wish those people who feel scared about me do not fear me and instead forgive me and be my friend and help me become a better person. Though I was advised by my psychiatrist that the best way is to cannot force people to let go their negative actions towards me. Instead I should focus on how to love myself more, especially forgive myself for creating the trouble. It's just so hard though.

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety +4

      Don Tran you got this! You have to just keep fighting the battle. I believe in you!

    • @poojaindaura
      @poojaindaura Před 4 lety +2

      I believe you can do it..lots of blessing ✨

    • @JohnDavis-ed5sg
      @JohnDavis-ed5sg Před 4 lety +4

      Yes it's so hard - I realise now that all my life I have been selfish, grasping and ungrateful, and I'm sitting here writing a letter to someone that I have wronged, asking for forgiveness. I have had so much love offered and used it without realising how lucky I was. I am going to have to work on forgiving myself. Good luck to you.

    • @skyeelliot6563
      @skyeelliot6563 Před 4 lety +1

      You got this. Take care of yourself

    • @michaelhernandez7978
      @michaelhernandez7978 Před 2 lety +2

      How are you doing now? Same boat.

  • @monajooma
    @monajooma Před 3 lety +15

    Just last night I forgave myself first and then everyone who caused me pain. Now I’ll fight my bipolar and come victories.

  • @javirichardson5817
    @javirichardson5817 Před rokem +6

    Thank you for this . Just hearing you story reminded me how important self forgiveness is for the mind. Pray for you and your struggle

  • @vincenttanudjaya7397
    @vincenttanudjaya7397 Před 3 lety +4

    the same exact emotional burden that i faced, for more than 30 years. now that i learned to let go "forgive" our self. Thanks to this speaker, encouraging and i can relate to the situation.

  • @edvinlee5
    @edvinlee5 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you for this video. I have been going through a similar journey after my husband passed away earlier this year. He was suffering from addiction, and it got to a point where I was so frustrated and lost it on him. Over the past month, I have felt more guilty than I ever felt. Since summer, I have decided I will not be angry with him and forgive him but still have trauma over the situation. I do try to let go of the past hurt and sadness. I agree it is a long process and an effort to work through my feelings. Now I'm on a path to finding forgiveness for what I didn't do right. I am glad I found this, but I wished he shared his process of finding self-forgiveness. Thank you.

  • @sumalathabalamurugan8068
    @sumalathabalamurugan8068 Před 3 lety +6

    I can't thank enough for this video. I was blaming myself, thinking hard why i couldn't perform better in my career. Each time i try to make a progress, im affected by the consequences of my past mistakes and lose my confidence and blames myself for being unfit😭😭. But god thank you for the beautiful message.

  • @staylor8883
    @staylor8883 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank You to this young man for being so courageous as to share this with me

  • @JordanDoww
    @JordanDoww Před 2 lety +10

    Beautifully said.

  • @amandalynnblaze9799
    @amandalynnblaze9799 Před 2 lety +8

    I just made a video on apologizing to myself and this act of service has been a daily practice because I have broken my own heart so much throughout my life. I know that one day these apologies will feel more real and I will accept them 🙏🏻❤️

  • @miwa297
    @miwa297 Před 4 lety +11

    I needed this so much😢. Thank you, sir❤.

  • @PunkMartyr
    @PunkMartyr Před 2 lety +12

    If you are dealing with anything along these lines the movie Warrior really shows these concepts in a light I have rarely seen elsewhere in storytelling. God loves you and above all else he wants you to love yourself and others.

  • @htokid7299
    @htokid7299 Před 3 lety +55

    How do you forgive yourself after you hurt someone you love more than life itself? Even if they do forgive you, how do you forgive yourself for the foolishness..... it’s eating me alive slowly, for years now...

    • @user-wl5gz9vi7x
      @user-wl5gz9vi7x Před 3 lety +1

      Same..

    • @lalansingh8518
      @lalansingh8518 Před 3 lety +8

      Same with me.. one thing that I did is that I dedicated my life to the person whom I caused so much pain.. still I feel it's d least I did.. I repent and am trying to forgive myself..
      I can't do anything about the past but I can work for a different future..
      Hoping you forgive yourself too.. Please do..

    • @htokid7299
      @htokid7299 Před 3 lety +5

      @@lalansingh8518 Hold your head high as well my friend, we were naive and truly didn’t understand the repercussions this would have on the one we loved or our life. Hopefully god blesses us with a chance at redemption, a chance to make it right.

    • @blockbyblock4078
      @blockbyblock4078 Před 2 lety +7

      I am struggling with this too. It's just extremely hard. I guess what you can do is accept that you've caused pain to them and it was a huge mistake and make a sincere apology. After all that's all what you can do. You can't undo it, right. I'm sure you would if you had chance to. I know I would. So be a little compassionate to yourself and make sure you aren't the same person anymore. The same person who hurt them. I hope it helps :)

    • @htokid7299
      @htokid7299 Před 2 lety +5

      @@blockbyblock4078 I really appreciate that comment! Yes I’m definitely trying to be a better man each and every day and right my wrongs, I just hate that the person I love the most sees me as a monster I guess you could say. You’re right if I had the chance to take it all back and fix it I would in a heartbeat. I need to learn to be more forgiving with myself. I’m definitely not the same person anymore, and I’m truly sorry to hear you’re struggling with the same thing, take your own advice because it was good advice. I pray that you find your way and find happiness again or get a conclave to redeem yourself. Love always wins, take care my friend.

  • @GloriaW888
    @GloriaW888 Před 2 lety +1

    My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

  • @sarahgamutan2725
    @sarahgamutan2725 Před 7 měsíci

    I just cried from all of this. Thank you.

  • @conradszymkowicz7152
    @conradszymkowicz7152 Před 9 dny

    Forgiveness is an ongoing process that brings fulfillment to our lives. This is a great talk about the power and impact on our Selves who deeply experience forgiveness.

  • @orangesandroses9448
    @orangesandroses9448 Před rokem +1

    Take heart, all will be well xx. Thank you for sharing your story, it has been eye-opening.

  • @user-cj7em3fj4x
    @user-cj7em3fj4x Před 2 lety +7

    8:28 "We forgive because that person doesn't know any better."

  • @jaiminsharma
    @jaiminsharma Před 2 lety +1

    Self forgiveness and courage goes hand in hand

  • @ricanoelleagayan4400
    @ricanoelleagayan4400 Před 2 lety +1

    This is probably one of the best ted talks I've heard.

  • @brandonmaddox4862
    @brandonmaddox4862 Před 10 měsíci +4

    I feel guilty for hurting my wife, she’s my soulmate, the love of my life and the reason I’m alive and as much as I want her to forgive me, I know that I need to forgive myself and I need to forgive the people that hurt me and let go of the hurt people put on me, I let it fester for so long that it became a part of me where my depression has become a part of my personality and I’m just now learning to forgive even if it hurts, it’ll set your soul free. I’m hoping I can find all this and anybody reading this and you’re struggling like I am, just know I’m with you, forgive others and forgive yourself

  • @sgreen9088
    @sgreen9088 Před 11 měsíci +5

    I felt the man's pain for the hurt of his mom's bf. It is so important to check on our mental health cause we hurt others in the process. God's healing on you and your mom.

    • @suzanneballou97
      @suzanneballou97 Před 9 měsíci +1

      Thank you for your comment. I am this young mans mother. After seeing this for the first time myself several years ago, I too had to self forgive. I had no idea of what my son had been going through. I am truly proud of the man he has become. ❤

    • @sgreen9088
      @sgreen9088 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@suzanneballou97 thank you for sharing mom. Are you closer since viewing the video?

    • @suzanneballou97
      @suzanneballou97 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@sgreen9088 Yes, we've always been close, even though we live in different states. He's helped me heal in so many ways. I'll always be so very proud of the man he's become. 😊

  • @kristinemagpayo236
    @kristinemagpayo236 Před 3 lety +4

    I cried,thank you it was worth it to watch.

  • @gracedavidson5135
    @gracedavidson5135 Před 2 lety +1

    sobbing. thank you so much.

  • @DMZBestPlays-yt8ei
    @DMZBestPlays-yt8ei Před 4 měsíci +1

    I have been forgiving others for years. sometimes I forgive myself.
    Since i've quit using drugs to self-medicate, ive been full of anger. When I am angry around people, i always apologise to them a few hours later. they forgive me
    i have tried forgiving myself and usually it works. but now im sober, i think i feel that intense anger. i keep punching myself.
    i really needed to hear this. thankyou man.

  • @radegojic4862
    @radegojic4862 Před 3 lety +2

    A very brave man, thank you.

  • @87iiiopo
    @87iiiopo Před 2 lety +2

    Thanks for this!! It is so hard to practice self-forgiveness.

  • @rachelgarz6407
    @rachelgarz6407 Před rokem +4

    Thanks so much Joshua for sharing your incredible journey. It's touching, it's powerful. I can imagine it wasn't easy for you to tell this story in front of so many people, but your generous act has helped many others! It made me think a lot. All the best to you

    • @ShaunHolden
      @ShaunHolden Před rokem

      Have you now been able to forgive yourself?

  • @user-xe3ml4bt8i
    @user-xe3ml4bt8i Před 2 lety +1

    Excellent talk, I can relate. Having the hardest time forgiving myself. Thank you ..

  • @kimroxas9142
    @kimroxas9142 Před 4 lety +6

    i needed this.

  • @annetteboettner3435
    @annetteboettner3435 Před 3 lety

    Thank you, Joshua. Thank you!

  • @mrbritesideoftheroad
    @mrbritesideoftheroad Před 6 měsíci +1

    Thank You for sharing Your pain and experience and wisdom 🙏

  • @sarahgarcia6120
    @sarahgarcia6120 Před rokem +2

    This was beautiful and I needed this. Thank you ❤

  • @HealthyMindProject
    @HealthyMindProject Před 3 lety +16

    What a beautiful, heartfelt, meaingful and inspiring video.

  • @akshayachary6840
    @akshayachary6840 Před 2 lety +1

    We feel you, boy. Self forgiveness is liberating.🙏🙏🙏

  • @aufa2119
    @aufa2119 Před 4 lety +15

    Thank you after a year anxious about whether i would be able to keep my scholarship, i think no amount of money is worth my peace. It may go as the way it come to me. And i will keep striving to be like the man who gave those scholarship. Whatever i still got it or leave it i will keep loving and forgiving to myself.

    • @mrsqueaks1154
      @mrsqueaks1154 Před 3 lety +1

      Life changes. What matters most is your happiness, not what others think of you, or how "successful" you are. Success is something only you can define for yourself x

    • @aufa2119
      @aufa2119 Před 3 lety

      @@mrsqueaks1154 yep this is the fact i learned these days. Thank you for ur wise answer 🙏

  • @heehee975
    @heehee975 Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you!

  • @user-wd8ig6oo2f
    @user-wd8ig6oo2f Před 3 měsíci +1

    POWERFUL TESTIMONY! Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

  • @Wazooka
    @Wazooka Před 4 lety +52

    I think this is a really helpful talk, at least for me!
    Thanks a lot!

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety

      Sebastian Boka thank you for the kind words!

    • @smileyface5350
      @smileyface5350 Před 3 lety

      @@justjoshin38 good story.. Congrats.. You are strong

  • @abidzarawwalin759
    @abidzarawwalin759 Před 3 lety +2

    I'm surprised how small the views is, i'm really glad i have found this video.

  • @Rosalie13
    @Rosalie13 Před 3 lety +1

    I needed this. Thank you.

  • @KDShaolinMenace
    @KDShaolinMenace Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you Josh.

  • @wildheartfree420
    @wildheartfree420 Před 3 lety +2

    This was amazing, thank you!

  • @Ikigai747
    @Ikigai747 Před 2 lety +3

    Wow.....thanks brother I hope we look into the chapters of bipolar and schizophrenia too really soon....and the society opens its eyes up to and understand what you and thousands of people mentally down with these crippling disorders go through also thanks a lot for this wonderful message...I forgive the society my people my friends for not understanding me I forgive myself and ill keep trying to push the thoughts away

  • @daphnechee4371
    @daphnechee4371 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you so much for this…

  • @MalavikaS100
    @MalavikaS100 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you 👍

  • @xiauthenticism
    @xiauthenticism Před 10 měsíci +2

    Thank you so much

  • @djgonpet
    @djgonpet Před 2 lety +5

    when he said that he had one person left to forgive - himself, I cried.. it's been years since I can't forgive myself. Been having CBT and EMDR for more than 2+ years but still..

    • @IndieDX
      @IndieDX Před 2 lety +1

      Wish you all the best.

  • @solimarmirandav
    @solimarmirandav Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you

  • @MegsCarpentry-lovedogs
    @MegsCarpentry-lovedogs Před 3 lety +5

    This was a sincere deep thought provoking heartfelt presentation. Lots to think about from the experience this speaker shared. All part of the personal journey to work on self forgiveness; which will not take place overnight. Thank you Mr. Galarza from Canada during Covid.

  • @MrChinamanTV
    @MrChinamanTV Před 2 lety +1

    Got drunk and did a lot of drugs on my birthday a couple months ago and got tempted and cheated on someone I love so much. I told her right away my sin and I don’t think she can ever forgive me but I’m trying my best to be better so I can finally forgive myself. This vid def helped

  • @omgilovesteak6484
    @omgilovesteak6484 Před rokem

    Thank you.

  • @retroejoe
    @retroejoe Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you for this, it really helps.

  • @Iamluckygirl1111
    @Iamluckygirl1111 Před 3 lety +15

    Thank you
    I really needed to forgive someone & myself .
    You happen at right time.
    Love your heart 😘

  • @heathergibson5782
    @heathergibson5782 Před 2 lety +1

    Wow, that was so power and has helped me sooooo much. I cant thank you enough. I will forgive them and I will forgive myself.

  • @kieranwbailey1602
    @kieranwbailey1602 Před 6 měsíci

    Thankyou brother !!

  • @MichaleMercedes
    @MichaleMercedes Před rokem +1

    Needed this. Thank you 🤍

  • @thegrubzz
    @thegrubzz Před 2 lety +1

    You are so brave ! Really enjoyed this :)

  • @rinekyo
    @rinekyo Před 2 lety +2

    This is a beautiful video, thank you.

  • @checkdisoutman
    @checkdisoutman Před 3 lety +1

    This is my favorite video of all time.

  • @Ana-gq7ce
    @Ana-gq7ce Před 3 lety +1

    Amazing talk!

  • @Mk56b
    @Mk56b Před rokem +2

    I have been waiting for a home for two years and when I finally found one I froze when the offer came my way. I lost the house and felt guilty bc I failed my kids. It has been so hard I tell myself a better home will come. Update: I stopped blaming myself and believed my home was out there and I found my home which is better than the one I lost. So just believe and most importantly be ready for better.

  • @nikkoosiones520
    @nikkoosiones520 Před 2 lety

    This helps! Incredible guy

  • @TheCoolerCouleur
    @TheCoolerCouleur Před 10 měsíci +1

    thank you

  • @Logicall_
    @Logicall_ Před 3 lety

    I will try my best every day to forgive myself and others

  • @celticphilomena
    @celticphilomena Před 4 lety +58

    I have been carrying my resentment/anger for 5 years. I want to let go and forgive. How do you know you have done this.

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety +14

      Philomena Wynne forgiveness is about the process, the moment you truly believe in yourself and dig deep to let go of the resentment, everything will fall into place. Keep on shining!

    • @celticphilomena
      @celticphilomena Před 4 lety +7

      Guerilla Ent. Thanks for getting back. I am digging every day, I have to being brought up a Irish ☘️ catholic and the Family scapegoat. its the rest of them that don’t dig at all and blame the scapegoat. If my mother did not suffer in this I would of been able to handle it. But I am slowly getting there and a lot better than I was. Keep shining to.😇🙏

    • @Nelafyed
      @Nelafyed Před 3 lety +1

      i feel you so bad

    • @05wilsonev
      @05wilsonev Před 3 lety +5

      with no forgiveness you have perfectionism, shame and self sabotage. Just trying to focus on forgiveness you will find more stability in life

    • @Ana-gq7ce
      @Ana-gq7ce Před 3 lety +1

      @@05wilsonev true. Thank you💛

  • @Nina21_
    @Nina21_ Před 3 lety +4

    This was so beautiful & inspiring ! it made me tear up towards the end.. such a wonderful and eye opening message that i really needed to hear ❤

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 3 lety +1

      Thank you for the kind words, Nina!

    • @Nina21_
      @Nina21_ Před 3 lety

      @@justjoshin38 it's my pleasure Sir ! =)

  • @ftg19
    @ftg19 Před 8 měsíci +1

    im literally crying

  • @foreverlasting4174
    @foreverlasting4174 Před 3 lety +1

    thank you I really needed this. Godbless

  • @brianv.8055
    @brianv.8055 Před 4 lety +6

    Such a beautiful talk!

    • @justjoshin38
      @justjoshin38 Před 4 lety

      Brian V. Thank you very much Brian! Hope you’re doing well

  • @robinfoxworthy7094
    @robinfoxworthy7094 Před rokem +1

    This video is a life saver

  • @ceezaw67
    @ceezaw67 Před 3 lety +1

    I needed that

  • @Sparksflymich
    @Sparksflymich Před rokem +5

    I couldn't forgive myself for what I did to my health when I was a teen. I was so naive and literally did not know the consequence then. I now suffer everyday in a loop of anxiety because I believe the actions will sabotage my future one day. It's just so hard to forgive your younger self....

    • @ShaunHolden
      @ShaunHolden Před rokem +3

      It’s possible you CAN do this I absolutely promise you!

  • @desirieannerey1636
    @desirieannerey1636 Před 3 lety +5

    I have so much anger in myself. So much hate in myself. But I trust God.

    • @maxolotl5998
      @maxolotl5998 Před 3 lety +1

      That’s the way to go! Also, talk to someone about it if you can.

  • @marconel3758
    @marconel3758 Před rokem +10

    This made me feel better. But I'm in that infinite loop where even though I "forgive" myself, apologized and acknowledged my mistakes, my mind keeps reminding me that the people I've hurt are still out there and still talking. Things years later has resurfaced again and caused a pause in the healing process. I don't know how to get out of that loop...

    • @ShaunHolden
      @ShaunHolden Před rokem +4

      Hey Marco have you been able to move past this now? Sorry you are struggling with this!

    • @tanwright2823
      @tanwright2823 Před rokem +3

      I have the exact same problem marco I just feel I can’t really go forward with my healing

    • @tanwright2823
      @tanwright2823 Před rokem +3

      @@ShaunHolden any advice on this , struggling with the same thing

    • @ShaunHolden
      @ShaunHolden Před rokem +2

      @@tanwright2823 How important is this to you that you resolve this problem?

    • @tanwright2823
      @tanwright2823 Před rokem +3

      @@ShaunHolden very , I can’t seem to find happiness amongst all the good things around me , I lost a love one after being with her 7 years