This Unhinged 90’s Movie Should Not Exist

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  • čas přidán 25. 11. 2022
  • For 70% off with HelloFresh plus FREE shipping, use code 70KURTISTOWN at bit.ly/3h64Ywv!
    Found a movie called The Kid With X-Ray Eyes and it's even worse than you can imagine. Sorry!
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  • Komedie

Komentáře • 6K

  • @multishipperbish8465
    @multishipperbish8465 Před rokem +3923

    clearly chuck kept up his beach treasure-digging lifestyle so he could see the cop and further drive their romance plot

  • @treedeerthethingy4812
    @treedeerthethingy4812 Před rokem +21192

    Kurtis calling the beach cop a pig and then immediately turning around and shipping him with the other guy is funnier than anything in this entire movie

    • @Name-lq4hz
      @Name-lq4hz Před rokem +263

      @yes bruh y r there so many bots in the comment section

    • @Nosebleed47692
      @Nosebleed47692 Před rokem +662

      And just like that 300 fanfics on ao3 have spontaneously materialised

    • @Miriam-pq4vx
      @Miriam-pq4vx Před rokem +220

      hes so me actually

    • @treedeerthethingy4812
      @treedeerthethingy4812 Před rokem +339

      @@Nosebleed47692 I honestly wouldn't be surprised if those start popping up, there's a fic for literally every pairing possible. And if there isn't, there will be.

    • @N_IRL
      @N_IRL Před rokem +112

      The most Kurtis thing he's ever done

  • @pinecone189
    @pinecone189 Před rokem +827

    10:55 I love that this implies that a homeless man should stop at like $10 like my dude doesn't even have a wallet to keep his money in

    • @-psilo-9071
      @-psilo-9071 Před 8 měsíci +58

      He's just storing his money that's probably all the money he owes whats the issue 😅

    • @clairem6748
      @clairem6748 Před 3 měsíci +15

      Fr and we all know how profitable begging on the street is

    • @ShuhPond
      @ShuhPond Před 20 dny

      @@clairem6748some panhandlers can actually make up to $300k a year

  • @randomasshumanbeing2078
    @randomasshumanbeing2078 Před rokem +1713

    The whole reason why chuck and the lifeguard got together was because they knew chuck and the officer were meant for each other, and this is the 1990’s, so they wouldn’t allow that.

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 Před rokem +49

      That’s a really good theory, actually.

    • @gayjayy
      @gayjayy Před rokem +121

      They all have an agreement for Chuck and the officer to have a secret relationship and the lifeguard will be Chuck's "beard".

    • @randomasshumanbeing2078
      @randomasshumanbeing2078 Před rokem +41

      @@gayjayy YES, that’s exactly what. Only legends know this truth.

    • @brockastill3622
      @brockastill3622 Před 7 měsíci +2

      are you sure???

  • @tangear
    @tangear Před rokem +4918

    I honestly was more invested in the knife and hamburger skit than the scenes of the movie. The premise was much more promising.

    • @rx500android
      @rx500android Před rokem +21

      Same💀💀

    • @AidanRahder
      @AidanRahder Před rokem +61

      Watching it my brain really said “Woah this is a very funny concept I want to make a short film with this plot” “wait no that would be plagiarism”

    • @magicman2881
      @magicman2881 Před rokem +34

      @@AidanRahder just change the burger to a sandwich

    • @TheOnlyCaprisun
      @TheOnlyCaprisun Před rokem +11

      Seriously, the movie was just that bad that the skit Kurtis made was better, it’s kinda funny in a sense, lmao

    • @icyboi3227
      @icyboi3227 Před rokem

      I was fucking dying

  • @joaopedrocypriano3069
    @joaopedrocypriano3069 Před rokem +16509

    I wish someone would compile all “I hardly know her” jokes kurtis ever said in one video

  • @roseepunk
    @roseepunk Před rokem +819

    Kurtis being friends with Freddie Dredd is like when a character from your favourite TV show makes a cameo in your other favourite TV show

    • @sayo1133
      @sayo1133 Před 10 měsíci +52

      i literally still cannot believe that's real it jus came outa nowhere

    • @user-vd9ji6lk6z
      @user-vd9ji6lk6z Před 10 měsíci

      thats exactly how it is with this movie, justin berfield as reese from malcolm in the middle and this kid from this dumbass movie

    • @user-vd9ji6lk6z
      @user-vd9ji6lk6z Před 10 měsíci +5

      hes my favorite actor and character

    • @danielladuck3323
      @danielladuck3323 Před 9 měsíci +4

      ⁠@@mohamedzayan706”Kurtis Conner and Freddie Dredd in the same CZcams video, what is this a-“

    • @AvaFaust
      @AvaFaust Před 8 měsíci +1

      FR

  • @Berd
    @Berd Před rokem +709

    kurtis doesnt know about the pig beach in the bahamas

    • @bulbasaurmoment
      @bulbasaurmoment Před 9 měsíci +26

      berd what are you doing here

    • @CationIonn
      @CationIonn Před 6 měsíci +17

      My oh my do my own eyes deceive me? It appears a member of biological class Aves in Linnaean taxonomy has decided to make their presence clear in this segment of a recorded video reserved primarily for remarks regarding said broadcast. To this I say, welcome my fellow brethren! I sincerely hope you find your stay here most pleasurable.

    • @tranzient
      @tranzient Před 2 měsíci

      @@CationIonn that's crazy

  • @SalmonOfK84
    @SalmonOfK84 Před rokem +2734

    If I had a nickel for every time a Malcolm in the Middle actor ogled someone using x-ray goggles, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.

    • @fefe4373
      @fefe4373 Před rokem +8

      lolll

    • @citrusune
      @citrusune Před rokem +8

      doof

    • @ps1hagridoufofcharacter
      @ps1hagridoufofcharacter Před rokem +8

      whats the second time it happened? can't say i have a good memory for this kind of thing
      edit: oop nvm i got to that part of the video

    • @andsiriisstupidyes4118
      @andsiriisstupidyes4118 Před rokem +26

      If I had a nickel for every time someone made an unoriginal joke like this, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice. Who am I kidding? I’d be a freaking billionaire.

    • @may_iris
      @may_iris Před rokem +113

      @@andsiriisstupidyes4118 stay mad doofenshmirtz rules

  • @Live_Laugh_Loathe
    @Live_Laugh_Loathe Před rokem +20524

    Kurtis appearing from nothingness is proof he mastered being a magician after all these years

    • @ashfeather3349
      @ashfeather3349 Před rokem +87

      the real magician he brought to all his shows was himself all along🙏

    • @kimbleryan7150
      @kimbleryan7150 Před rokem +19

      @Bully peter it isn't this is all you've posted in the comments

    • @believeinmatter
      @believeinmatter Před rokem +38

      @Кurtis Соnner 🅥 reported. Ya’ll are really desperate

    • @yelpforhelp
      @yelpforhelp Před rokem +24

      he has mastered the art of fushigi

    • @batjackattack5556
      @batjackattack5556 Před rokem +33

      @Кurtis Соnner 🅥 omg kirtis it’s really u omg!!!!!!

  • @Nojintt
    @Nojintt Před rokem +406

    11:00 Great lesson for children: people asking for help are just greedy liars.

  • @prungojumpty
    @prungojumpty Před rokem +418

    kurtis wasn’t holding back this video, calling out drake for being a creep and the police for racial profiling within minutes of each other dhdhhdjd

  • @jenathan76
    @jenathan76 Před rokem +3492

    The most amusing thing about this 'movie' is that the cars are literally different makes, models, and even colors from shot to shot. It's like they went out of their way to have zero continuity.

    • @tinyandtired
      @tinyandtired Před rokem +7

      Uncle Chuck's shirt also magically changes colour when he grows titties.

    • @spacetrashfallingdown
      @spacetrashfallingdown Před rokem +64

      @@Boing2699 it's a bot. I've just seen another account post the very same comment

    • @allysonhocter9898
      @allysonhocter9898 Před rokem +18

      On top of that their clothing changes from shot to shot too

    • @mousemalone9462
      @mousemalone9462 Před rokem +20

      Don't worry about it man it's just a new spy car feature

    • @ilexdiapason
      @ilexdiapason Před rokem +4

      @@Boing2699 just report for spam

  • @crickis
    @crickis Před rokem +3950

    i love when kurtis says "back to the movie" sounding as if he also just had to watch the random demented sketch with us

    • @zodiAAAHHH
      @zodiAAAHHH Před rokem +106

      same i can imagine him just pausing for a few seconds in silence after he knows that's where he's gonna put the skit then saying that like something happened 😭😭

    • @megarat1777
      @megarat1777 Před rokem +9

      He did bruh in his mind

    • @triangularsphere
      @triangularsphere Před rokem +6

      Why would you make me think of this

  • @eyespliced
    @eyespliced Před rokem +197

    And the twist is that this entire movie was a lucid/fever/day dream Reese was having in a random filler episode of malcom in the middle.

  • @koelee
    @koelee Před 11 měsíci +109

    6:50 I can imagine this movie suddenly taking a very dark turn, where instead of finding some cool x-ray goggles, Bobby instead finds the dismembered body of a murder victim in the suitcase

    • @thenobodys1955
      @thenobodys1955 Před měsícem +1

      "omg... I wonder what could be in this suitcase uncle!"
      opens suitcase
      *"AAAAAAAAAAA-"*

  • @rzmnzs5662
    @rzmnzs5662 Před rokem +2902

    the coolest spy gadget was definitely the microwave that could turn those little packets into a hamburger in 1 second

    • @j.m3850
      @j.m3850 Před rokem +82

      I used to want one of those so much

    • @s_h_o_o_b_y
      @s_h_o_o_b_y Před rokem +47

      that’s all i was thinking about when he was listing gadgets

    • @s_h_o_o_b_y
      @s_h_o_o_b_y Před rokem +11

      makes me think of phil of the future’s food spray cans

    • @deathsheadhawkmoths
      @deathsheadhawkmoths Před rokem +12

      i was obsessed with that thing

    • @Spooky_l3xxi
      @Spooky_l3xxi Před rokem +11

      LITERALLY!! I remember I used to open and close kitchen cabinets to see if it worked lmaoo

  • @kaliathealphamale
    @kaliathealphamale Před rokem +3551

    That Black Sea joke was way outta pocket💀💀

    • @itiswhatitismindset
      @itiswhatitismindset Před rokem +358

      AND THE PIGS ONE LIKE IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD

    • @blizzard_the_seal9863
      @blizzard_the_seal9863 Před rokem +293

      @@itiswhatitismindsetHE MAKES ACAB JOKES ALL THE TIME ITS GREAT, HE REALLY JUST DROPS “👮‍♂️=🐷” OUTTA NOWHERE

    • @itiswhatitismindset
      @itiswhatitismindset Před rokem +155

      @@blizzard_the_seal9863 IKR BUT I REALLY WASN'T EXPECTING IT THIS TIME OML LOVE HIM

    • @blizzard_the_seal9863
      @blizzard_the_seal9863 Před rokem +75

      @@itiswhatitismindset YEAH THATS FAIR WAHHSBSNABSW IT RLY DID HIT YA OUT OF NOWHERE ☠️☠️☠️

    • @valkyriecatt
      @valkyriecatt Před rokem +57

      I was in shock for a second tbh

  • @thequeenofcringe1585
    @thequeenofcringe1585 Před rokem +430

    The Dream jokes and then calling the goggles “goggies” was a MISTAKE Kurtis. You have summoned a beast and it’s only a matter of time before it arrives on your doorstep

  • @4077Disc
    @4077Disc Před rokem +460

    There are actually 4 kids in Malcolm in the Middle. The oldest one is late high school/college age and away from home, but he still exists, Kurtis.
    Sheesh

    • @Sirdeathvids
      @Sirdeathvids Před rokem +34

      5 if you count Jamie

    • @medianoche7276
      @medianoche7276 Před rokem +5

      Then he's not a kid is he?

    • @xiphactinusaudax1045
      @xiphactinusaudax1045 Před rokem +12

      @@medianoche7276 He is because he's a child and also there's actually 5
      but if he meant just the ones still in the house there's 2

    • @zubetp
      @zubetp Před rokem +36

      francis erasure

    • @gayjayy
      @gayjayy Před rokem +12

      @@medianoche7276 In a sense, yes and no. Yes, he's still his parents kid. No, he's technically a late teen/early adult.

  • @kirawebster6583
    @kirawebster6583 Před rokem +849

    cannot believe "Stamper? I hardly know her" wasn't uttered a single time

    • @sabahk
      @sabahk Před rokem +49

      check the description tho 😎

    • @candiiboo
      @candiiboo Před rokem

      I waited for it LMAO

  • @Coffee-Dere
    @Coffee-Dere Před rokem +3609

    Kurtis laughing at his own joke gives me so much dopamine I cannot

    • @BootyTickleingBandit
      @BootyTickleingBandit Před rokem +26

      Bro the amount of energy the bots created in the comment section is not comfortable 💀

    • @cybergutz
      @cybergutz Před rokem +2

      @@BootyTickleingBandit fr😰

    • @charcoal9145
      @charcoal9145 Před rokem

      N nnnkjnlnb b bbbnn n n n bbnnnbnnbbbnbnn nbbnbnnnbbbnbnbnbbbknnbbnbnbnnbknbnbnnbnnbnbnbnbnbnbnnnnnnnnnbnnnbnnnknbnbknnbnnnnnnnnnbnnnbnnnnnnnbnnbnbnnnnnnnnnnnnnnbnnnnnnnbnnnnn kbjlbbnbkbnbnnbnbknbnbnbnbnnbbnbnbnbnbnnnbknbnnbnbnbknbnbnbknbknnbbnbknbkbbnbknbkn bnbnbnbnn bnbn bnbnbnbbn nbnbnnnbnnnbnbnbnbbnbnnbnbbnbnbnn nbnbnbnbnn bc n bbbb​m bbbbn,b, m m m m ,m m, m,

    • @pvic6959
      @pvic6959 Před rokem +1

      same i also get so much dopamine that i can knot

    • @jacobeddings2108
      @jacobeddings2108 Před rokem +2

      you can't what

  • @melcorrigan7905
    @melcorrigan7905 Před rokem +44

    I work in film editing and fun fact the beach "dubbing" is actually called ADR (Automated Dialogue Replacement) and we do it for at least one scene or line in every film. Its very common on outdoor scenes like that. Also the sound editing is not done until after the picture editing is done, so its likely the jump cut was put in there before the ADR because of the actor fucking up a line or something. Dialogue editors edit to the already "locked cut" of the movie and they wouldn't have been able to send it back to the editor to fix the picture to match the voice recording.

    • @melcorrigan7905
      @melcorrigan7905 Před rokem +16

      Its also in the actors contract that they must make themselves available to record ADR once the sound editing starts. Hopefully this all doesn't sound pretentious i love your vids its just cool to provide some insight to the long complicated and sometimes dumb process of completing a film

  • @Babypinkprincess
    @Babypinkprincess Před rokem +36

    Not them adding the pillow in his shirt AND having him wear a different color shirt. No continuity. 😭 22:20

  • @mikey_m114
    @mikey_m114 Před rokem +5497

    the thumbnail alone leaves me both terrified and intrigued. Kurtis is so brave for sitting through these movies for our entertainment 😔✊🏽

    • @Pine_apple
      @Pine_apple Před rokem +16

      why the and the are spam the and reply comment or yes??

    • @brspringer
      @brspringer Před rokem +24

      @@Pine_apple Make this make sense

    • @Pine_apple
      @Pine_apple Před rokem +3

      @@brspringer what the and rhyme

    • @notcomfortable_here
      @notcomfortable_here Před rokem +35

      this entire comment section is painful to read

    • @EclipseINF
      @EclipseINF Před rokem +6

      @@notcomfortable_here comment and the what section and

  • @sydsymptoms
    @sydsymptoms Před rokem +4241

    'I think it's time for our secret agent, "we cant let the bad guys take us alive" pills'.. what a line

    • @MadAliceInWonderland
      @MadAliceInWonderland Před rokem +276

      They're kid friendly cyanide pills 👀

    • @quandaredevil
      @quandaredevil Před rokem +230

      @@MadAliceInWonderland cyanide flintstones gummies

    • @Random-sk6hm
      @Random-sk6hm Před rokem +64

      Sugar-free cyanide candy, now with extra flavour!

    • @eddihurta7173
      @eddihurta7173 Před rokem +24

      I went the green apple cyanide Loli pop 🍏

    • @bag.n
      @bag.n Před rokem +25

      The predecessor of unalive

  • @socialgutbrain7774
    @socialgutbrain7774 Před rokem +102

    The chase scene was absolutely delightful. That shit sounded like I was in build mode in the Sims

  • @Jezzleyjezz
    @Jezzleyjezz Před 9 měsíci +13

    Chuck stays on the beach so he can spend more time with Patterson 🥺

  • @marimh2844
    @marimh2844 Před rokem +1644

    when i was in 2nd grade i was so obsessed with spy kids that i used to tell my classmates that my parents were secret spies and show them my fold-up binoculars. it was my entire personality and also i got pick-pocketted twice

    • @urbasichamilfan
      @urbasichamilfan Před rokem +98

      I was the same way, only I convinced my classmates I had pepper spray (it was just spray hand sanitizer) and a bunch of cool gadgets that made me a spy. I doubt anyone believed me but it sure as hell was fun

    • @Terminallyposessed
      @Terminallyposessed Před rokem +23

      I'm surprised that I never did stuff like that as a kid tbh-

    • @finmiles965
      @finmiles965 Před rokem +47

      Oh dude you’re not alone, funnily enough I decided to prove it by learning to lockpick and pickpocket...
      I didn’t take any binoculars though, feel like that would have been breaking the spy kid code

    • @paadoxal
      @paadoxal Před rokem +20

      someone stole my lock-picking set at school🥲

    • @alyssastewart738
      @alyssastewart738 Před rokem +23

      That’s fine I had a friend in 5th grade who would not give up claiming that she was Hannah montana and secretly went home and went off to do Hannah Montana stuff and then came back home for school tbe next day. I’d always be like stfu and she just kept going with it how was she not embarrassed

  • @madison42069
    @madison42069 Před rokem +1653

    Like every x-ray technology in movies, sometimes you see through the skin to bones and sometimes you just see through clothes. Sacrifice continuity for those artfully crafted perv scenes!

    • @TheDGomezzi
      @TheDGomezzi Před rokem +206

      To be fair to the movie, it did seem like there was a dial where you could adjust how powerful it was

    • @tinnagigja3723
      @tinnagigja3723 Před rokem +45

      And sometimes you see through gun metal.

    • @mykes7239
      @mykes7239 Před rokem +40

      yeah like seeing through sand?? Don't think so

    • @Boing2699
      @Boing2699 Před rokem +19

      @@bullypeterspamming links isn’t going to make people enjoy your content

    • @matthewpitre8159
      @matthewpitre8159 Před rokem +20

      Yeah and you can see through sand to go beachcombing but you can't see through walls and not everybody's naked doesn't make much sense does it.

  • @dannhhh
    @dannhhh Před rokem +35

    17:27 love the jarvis johnson merch!!

  • @MyNameIsOclock
    @MyNameIsOclock Před rokem +27

    "A homeless man with cash???? This guy doesn't need any more money"

  • @kay-dc8495
    @kay-dc8495 Před rokem +2988

    The cars changing models and colours in every shot is the most outrageously hilarious thing I've ever witnessed

    • @subparnaturedocumentary
      @subparnaturedocumentary Před rokem +22

      an altima to a bmw

    • @aldranzam3456
      @aldranzam3456 Před rokem +118

      I loved the scene where the shelf falls only hitting his foot, but on the next shot he's stuck under it with huge bazongas- art-

    • @booba1710
      @booba1710 Před rokem +55

      @@aldranzam3456 he is also wearing two different shirts in the shots

    • @cringeneer5490
      @cringeneer5490 Před rokem +23

      It's probably because Stamper crushed all of the cars

    • @aspenrose_
      @aspenrose_ Před rokem +11

      @@booba1710 must have needed a bigger size to accommodate the dobonhonkeros, and they couldnt find one in the same color

  • @thecharliezone
    @thecharliezone Před rokem +3163

    kurtis is one of the only guys ever who can rock a mullet

  • @JohnnyTromboner
    @JohnnyTromboner Před rokem +43

    Fun fact: those black ops guys actually do have x-ray goggles. They just use millimeter wave scanners instead of x-rays and the images produced don't look very sexy at all

  • @differentbutsimilar7893
    @differentbutsimilar7893 Před rokem +57

    I LOVE that scene with epic crash and him just casually crawling out of the sea unscathed, covered in seaweed, like he's a Terminator... ONLY to pivot to doing a relaxed hair flip and staring placidly off towards the horizon, as if he was thinking "Geez. I've gotta be more careful." Y'know, like you or I might think after almost tripping over slight rise in the sidewalk. Just kind of a weird day for him, I guess. We could all learn some lessons in taking things in stride from him.
    He's a certified badass for that. What an absolute dude. That's the most graceful recovery I have ever seen in my life. That man has 9 lives. One time, my cat slipped off of a little jut 15 feet up in the living room wall and she took it about as well as this man. I don't think even she knew or cared that she just fell 15 feet. Just carried right on like nothin happened. You yourself would think she planned it that way.

  • @s_h_o_o_b_y
    @s_h_o_o_b_y Před rokem +1817

    fun fact: in the 30’s there were beach cops who had tape measurers and would make sure women’s bathing suits weren’t shorter than 5 inches above the knee

    • @everything5066
      @everything5066 Před rokem +335

      bruh . I'm surprised how women survived so much misogyny holy crap

    • @caidalee1994
      @caidalee1994 Před rokem +182

      And if they were, they were arrested. 🙂

    • @pigeonatic
      @pigeonatic Před rokem +114

      wow! that sure was a fun fact

    • @asackboyplush6508
      @asackboyplush6508 Před rokem +58

      That's not fun that sucks

    • @Terminallyposessed
      @Terminallyposessed Před rokem +67

      @@asackboyplush6508 I think they were being sarcastic yo

  • @vespertineblue
    @vespertineblue Před rokem +950

    The expression on Kurtis' face after "just fucking kiss already for me!" is the one of a man who just learned something new about himself.

  • @artyb27
    @artyb27 Před rokem +57

    The twist in the burger skit is better than any twist I've seen in a movie in many years.

  • @parkerkay1695
    @parkerkay1695 Před rokem +62

    The Millie Bobby Brown bit killed me had me rolling on the floor 😂

  • @sh4rky466
    @sh4rky466 Před rokem +1884

    I like to imagine that in the Kurtis skitematic universe, everyone looks, sounds, and acts like Kurtis. Even the newborns.

  • @idk5491
    @idk5491 Před rokem +618

    Isn’t so cool that x ray glasses make women naked and men literal skeletons😍

    • @Arania_3.14
      @Arania_3.14 Před rokem +164

      That's cause women have booby bones, duh

    • @cornybram845
      @cornybram845 Před rokem +54

      Pretty sure there where different levels at which you could adjust the goggles, which explains why Bobby just saw through to skin sometimes (which didn't only happen with women, eg. the fake homeless man) while at other points all the way to bone

    • @hippieduck
      @hippieduck Před rokem +11

      Uh that's actually because all our soft tissue got bonified when we were made from a rib from some dude or something just don't question it OK

    • @averylarson8139
      @averylarson8139 Před rokem +10

      women have exoskeletons DUHHH

    • @SheepUndefined
      @SheepUndefined Před rokem +2

      @@cornybram845 Watsonian and Doylist explanations, man. Having an in-world explanation doesn't always change things

  • @hungryhedgehog4201
    @hungryhedgehog4201 Před rokem +17

    I love how the first usages for the X Ray goggles are: Making money, means testing and no consensual voyeurism. Really says a lot about the people who made this.

  • @beepboop9750
    @beepboop9750 Před rokem +58

    “Now that’s what I call a boner” made me giggle a disturbing amount.

  • @REPLA_ACE
    @REPLA_ACE Před rokem +1538

    *I love when Kurtis said "It's spyin' time!" and spied all over the movie. Truly one of the videos of all time.*

    • @REPLA_ACE
      @REPLA_ACE Před rokem +5

      @leaked footage My dad didn't left me 🤨🤨

    • @REPLA_ACE
      @REPLA_ACE Před rokem +27

      @I'll say when it's time *Self aware bot*

    • @artifice4723
      @artifice4723 Před rokem +21

      How are all of these bots

    • @Snarl_Marx
      @Snarl_Marx Před rokem +1

      Please let this meme die. Have you no decency? No shame?

    • @toasty_tonsty
      @toasty_tonsty Před rokem +13

      When he spied all over was the best part

  • @katemurrayy
    @katemurrayy Před rokem +2109

    kurtis i just gotta tell you this is genuinely such a good video. like the drake jokes, stamper driving, JACOB MAKING A CAMEO? being a married man maxed out your comedy skills. welcome back man!!!!!

    • @danacornish8598
      @danacornish8598 Před rokem +38

      Jacob in the Jarvis Johnson merch? I love to see it

    • @anomalousanimates
      @anomalousanimates Před rokem

      ^^scam

    • @danacornish8598
      @danacornish8598 Před rokem +2

      @@anomalousanimates Report the comment

    • @Darkawk
      @Darkawk Před rokem +10

      Kurtis's videos are legit more entertaining than 95% of Netflix no cap

    • @anomalousanimates
      @anomalousanimates Před rokem +1

      @@danacornish8598 ok, also remind me when the scam comment is gone so i can delete my comment

  • @jaspertheghostkid
    @jaspertheghostkid Před rokem +36

    Where can I get the Bigfoot shirt he’s wearing at 8:29 because it’s my favorite thing ever

  • @quitetheshroomyboi
    @quitetheshroomyboi Před 8 měsíci +19

    15:03 "officers, get him!"
    *"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"*

  • @vvdubz
    @vvdubz Před rokem +1570

    Glad to see Kurtis is back with those fever dream skits

    • @koiifsh
      @koiifsh Před rokem +6

      watching this at 3 am is not making this any better for me

    • @ck7993
      @ck7993 Před rokem +15

      @Seeing Star so glad you owned the bots by... botting comments that clog up comments even more?
      your intelligence amazes me

    • @slaughtertothelamb
      @slaughtertothelamb Před rokem

      fr

    • @lulu7.765
      @lulu7.765 Před rokem +5

      Did...did you just said D-Dream 🤤?

  • @stephanybeachler
    @stephanybeachler Před rokem +3705

    ok. I have to say this.... the "Sucker......Burger" storyline sucked me in, it had everything I needed in a story, surprise, deceit, plot twist, suspense and best of all horror, what else would you call it when you sit down to eat a burget and its gone "POOF!" you should be nominated for an emmy and an Oscar!!! VERY WELL DONE DESERVES A like

    • @mferreiraluiza
      @mferreiraluiza Před rokem +92

      burger? I hardly know her

    • @eggoopy
      @eggoopy Před rokem +29

      I love burget

    • @Swan862
      @Swan862 Před rokem +70

      Sucker burger? Isn't that the guy that made facebook

    • @firirk4150
      @firirk4150 Před rokem +2

      You wanna see the rest of the comment?
      Sucker!

    • @KissyAdair
      @KissyAdair Před rokem +6

      I laughed so hard. This is why I watch every video Kurtis drops. He's hilarious.

  • @Cyndaqueer
    @Cyndaqueer Před rokem +80

    How tf does Kurtis just drop that he’s friends with Freddie Dredd

  • @dominique_joly
    @dominique_joly Před rokem +28

    Kurtis' "Sucker" bit alone is WAY better than this whole movie could even *try* to be! 😆

  • @gabsvb_
    @gabsvb_ Před rokem +2416

    a movie commentary was just what i needed to get through the rest of the year

    • @DrpshpdCatShirt
      @DrpshpdCatShirt Před rokem +5

      @Кurtis Соnner 🅥 Yeah, that is not the link to Never Gonna Give You Up.

    • @ellifsyaa
      @ellifsyaa Před rokem +1

      Same I needed this commentary video so much otherwise I would have spontaneously combusted dee- no but seriously it’s funny

    • @UsagiMay
      @UsagiMay Před rokem +2

      I cannot believe there's only one more month until this year is finally over. And then we have to pray that everything just dies down and it's not as crazy as the last 3 years

  • @mihaelajoe8291
    @mihaelajoe8291 Před rokem +3509

    Who else hopes that Kurtis will keep the "yeah" like he kept the "balls" sound?

    • @Raven-wq4li
      @Raven-wq4li Před rokem +209

      i also hope he keeps using the car going off the cliff clip

    • @KingOfGaymes
      @KingOfGaymes Před rokem +27

      He will I believe in him

    • @GoodKidmAAdLizard
      @GoodKidmAAdLizard Před rokem +17

      yeah.

    • @gronkskonk
      @gronkskonk Před 10 měsíci +10

      @@mohamedzayan706 he uses it in most of his videos, & it came from his barbies vs brats video 😋

    • @Raggy_df
      @Raggy_df Před 9 měsíci +7

      ​@@gronkskonkI remember that. And the moaning weasel.
      B A L L Z

  • @chloehepperle5886
    @chloehepperle5886 Před rokem +25

    One thing you can always depend on in life is Kurtis leaving absolutely nothing to your imagination😌

  • @ShinySahil
    @ShinySahil Před rokem +14

    12:13 freddie dredd huh? ain’t that the “this is what is like to be known as dead” guy?

    • @Cottagecoreshnail
      @Cottagecoreshnail Před 10 měsíci +1

      it is. he just casually dropped that bombshell on us. What a madlad

  • @husyay1008
    @husyay1008 Před rokem +2671

    the reason the cia agent is so terrible at driving is because the actor was possessed by the spirit of Cosmo and the people making the movie didn't wanna try and redo the scenes

  • @BungaloHippo
    @BungaloHippo Před rokem +4912

    the brain cancer bit with sitcom special guest wooping and cheering when jacob is introduced with the cheering gettin louder and louder and the last zoom in with jacob saying fuck you almost unintelligibly under the loud cheering really cracked me the fuck up. ahh kurtis and his crew of hilarious friends! love them

    • @pokaay3163
      @pokaay3163 Před rokem +60

      He just keeps making shit that is funny I have no idea how he does it

    • @lillyhaun4959
      @lillyhaun4959 Před rokem +21

      Literally my favorite shit ever

    • @cwill2127
      @cwill2127 Před rokem +17

      Honestly that was so funny I lost it. So is brain cancer

  • @halffirewolf
    @halffirewolf Před 9 měsíci +9

    the skits that Kurtis writes are genuinely the best part of every video, god

  • @sovietbot6708
    @sovietbot6708 Před rokem +10

    When I was a kid, I got a spy kit. I couldn't remember everything in it. But I remembered edible paper, markers with edible ink, and a camera disguised as a juice box.

  • @jacobpelkey8534
    @jacobpelkey8534 Před rokem +549

    10:55 love how the movie frames this as a kid exposing a villain lmao. "You already have a couple hundred bucks on you!" Even assuming that roll of ones is a couple hundred dollars (I kind of doubt it), homeless people are obviously going to be keeping their money on them because you need an address to open a bank account. A couple hundred dollars still isn't enough to live on, especially when you have no income, health insurance, shelter, etc.

    • @mastermarkus5307
      @mastermarkus5307 Před rokem +112

      Good point.
      My initial thought was that it was crazy for the kid to jump to "MAYBE THIS GUY IS RUNNING A SCAM" when it didn't seem like the guy did anything suspicious.

    • @grantmegan91
      @grantmegan91 Před rokem +128

      @@mastermarkus5307 right!! Like wait a minute!! Before u give this homeless man 45 cents, let me make sure he doesn't already have a few dollars on him already!!
      So weird

    • @RizkyeZaki
      @RizkyeZaki Před rokem

      czcams.com/video/FvgSwI9DWXo/video.html

    • @becauseimafan
      @becauseimafan Před rokem +1

      Agreed, and thanks for the timestamp too!

  • @primordialsoup8685
    @primordialsoup8685 Před rokem +2355

    kurtis posting is like an oracle to me. no matter what if he posts it’s gonna be a good day. spring is coming early this year

    • @gouldiloof
      @gouldiloof Před rokem +3

      Next year

    • @SomeRandoDum
      @SomeRandoDum Před rokem +7

      @Кurtis Соnner 🅥 why did I fall for this

    • @donovanfaust3227
      @donovanfaust3227 Před rokem +4

      We skipping winter this year

    • @HuntressWizard
      @HuntressWizard Před rokem +1

      I feel thid

    • @Lucia-ct2sj
      @Lucia-ct2sj Před rokem

      Same, and also I watch whenever he posts no matter what time it is or if I'm busy. Kurtis os worth it

  • @jennifertorres4743
    @jennifertorres4743 Před rokem +13

    kurtis' face when he said "i just drove my car off a cliff have you seen my suitcase?" has me DYING oh my god. comedic genius

  • @bluebeka2458
    @bluebeka2458 Před rokem +12

    16:52 That man has the driving skills of Spongebob. 😂

  • @thapelosishi
    @thapelosishi Před rokem +595

    Totally Spies! had THE best spy gear. They were so unapologetically girly eg. Compact mirror computer, a laser nail file, 5 carat data processor pendant, barrette tracking device, like??? So cool😭

    • @svenbengtsson9753
      @svenbengtsson9753 Před rokem +5

      Omg riiight

    • @ddjsoyenby
      @ddjsoyenby Před rokem +44

      that show is amazing........and awakened us all in many ways.

    • @ktyy777
      @ktyy777 Před rokem +57

      they released Happy Meals with the Totally Spies gadgets and best believe I tried to get every single one

    • @rx500android
      @rx500android Před rokem +1

      Omg yesss

    • @rumis.dollsss.15
      @rumis.dollsss.15 Před rokem +1

      Yaassss

  • @MaddyBlu9724
    @MaddyBlu9724 Před rokem +348

    Kind of amazing how much this movie didnt explore what you might be able to do with xray goggles. Their first and last idea was "peek at boobies hehe"

    • @cornybram845
      @cornybram845 Před rokem +9

      And to detect metal on beaches

    • @snakewithapen5489
      @snakewithapen5489 Před rokem +21

      Reading this comment, the very first thing that came to mind was seeing androids or aliens masquerading as humans, which I think would instantly make for a much more interesting plot

    • @Mario_Angel_Medina
      @Mario_Angel_Medina Před rokem +10

      And even then the movie has very few X-ray vision scenes. For the most part the goggles are just a mcguffin... it makes me wonder if the script wasn't originally for a raunchy sex comedy and somehow became a PG film along the way (that would explain why it has Griffin Drew and Brinke Stevens in small roles)

    • @somewhat_human
      @somewhat_human Před rokem +1

      Honestly... id do the same thing

    • @cornybram845
      @cornybram845 Před rokem

      @@somewhat_human ...That's not a good look on you

  • @aileenmorgan8276
    @aileenmorgan8276 Před rokem +14

    I totally remember renting this movie as a kid. Another weird and wild 90s kids movie I rented from that same shop that might be fun to cover is "The Wiz Kid". It's about a kid who makes a cooler clone of himself, and he also has a robot and plays a sick harmonica solo near the end. It took me forever to remember the name!

  • @MARTIAANN
    @MARTIAANN Před 7 dny +11

    5:47 the foreshadowing is crazy

  • @lemondropdoodles17
    @lemondropdoodles17 Před rokem +529

    That bit with Jacob absolutely killed me! I knew it was coming and I still died 💀💀😂😂

  • @uberrdriverr7969
    @uberrdriverr7969 Před rokem +450

    If I had a dollar for every time Kurtis made an “I hardly know her” joke, I would throw all that money in the dumpster
    Uh oh what have I done… these replies…

  • @ratlily21
    @ratlily21 Před 5 měsíci +5

    The real reason chuck decided to stay at the beach despite being filthy rich was because that's the only way he could see the officer everyday and they were meant for each other and they should kiss

  • @karlaflow
    @karlaflow Před 9 dny +7

    watching this in the middle of the kendrick vs drake beef and i got severe whiplash

  • @hugoenzo2444
    @hugoenzo2444 Před rokem +1584

    Kurtis and his editors just in time to cure my seasonal depression.

    • @taratih
      @taratih Před rokem +47

      Wait i though kurtis edits his. Videos

    • @velv3ts
      @velv3ts Před rokem +8

      @@taratih its etheir just him or him and others editing

    • @sfmainey
      @sfmainey Před rokem +36

      he actually edits them himself! That's why he includes those "me editing" clips :D There might possibly be more but I'm pretty sure it's all him

    • @Grace-er9ep
      @Grace-er9ep Před rokem +7

      Seasonal depression hits hard but a Kurtis skit hits harder

    • @PhoenixRoseYT
      @PhoenixRoseYT Před rokem +8

      That’s literally why I clicked this video. I felt the depression starting to come over me and ran here lol

  • @malmfao
    @malmfao Před rokem +1214

    the way I KNEW where this was going when he said that their depiction of the terrorist was crazy 💀

    • @alia582
      @alia582 Před rokem +117

      BRO SAME I WAS JUST BRACING MYSELF

    • @LadyOfTheNight.
      @LadyOfTheNight. Před rokem +105

      I just kept saying to myself "SURLEY they won’t do it, it’s such a dead joke" well yeah.. what was I expecting tbh

    • @malmfao
      @malmfao Před rokem +16

      @@alia582 struggle is real

    • @Peastable
      @Peastable Před rokem +86

      Isn’t this pre-9/11 too?

    • @ericaploof998
      @ericaploof998 Před rokem +7

      It's giving...Angels and Demons. 💀

  • @BrakCartmanLIKES
    @BrakCartmanLIKES Před rokem +18

    10:20 funny I thought the joke was going to be that he would still be a garbage man b/c he's passionate about trash.

  • @_Y875
    @_Y875 Před rokem +24

    12:30 theory: this is the fetish of someone who had a hand in the creation of both properties

  • @wasteland.baby.
    @wasteland.baby. Před rokem +926

    fun fact: kurtis is the only man with a mustache and a mullet that i will ever trust

    • @kaicenat2015murder
      @kaicenat2015murder Před rokem +8

      why do you people hate guys with mullets so much? I've seen 3 comments saying pretty much the same thing

    • @amoureux6502
      @amoureux6502 Před rokem +5

      Ty Turner

    • @kichukmenon
      @kichukmenon Před rokem +1

      What about jesus lmao

    • @wasteland.baby.
      @wasteland.baby. Před rokem +19

      @@kichukmenon jesus had neither of those things 🤨 he had long hair and a beard not a mullet and a mustache

    • @everything5066
      @everything5066 Před rokem +1

      same

  • @ameliaeverly-im5jc
    @ameliaeverly-im5jc Před 10 dny +19

    drake joke aged well 😭😭

  • @eatatjoes6751
    @eatatjoes6751 Před rokem +11

    This movie feels like a movie that Matt, Lizzie's little brother, would have to watch as a creative punishment for missed homework.

  • @annanaydenova8321
    @annanaydenova8321 Před rokem +700

    Okay, I did a little research cause I wanted to find out who the kid on the second poster was. Although I didn't find any info on that, I did find out that the two production companies that worked on this movie (Concorde- New Horizons and Royal Oaks Entertainment Inc.) both have mostly produced soft core erotica thriller type movies, with names like "Women In Cages", "The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man" "Sorceress II: The Temptress". So it's definitely super weird they made a kids movie. But it does contextualizes the naked scenes. LOL

    • @moonchild3370
      @moonchild3370 Před rokem +116

      thank u for ur research anna! you could just be lying to me but i’ll trust you regardless

    • @pandamandimax
      @pandamandimax Před rokem +4

      @moon child What a weird response? Hush

    • @moonchild3370
      @moonchild3370 Před rokem +45

      @@pandamandimax ? it was just a little jokey joke?

    • @ilovebeastboy28
      @ilovebeastboy28 Před rokem +36

      @@pandamandimax what a weird response? Hush

    • @rainy8702
      @rainy8702 Před rokem +16

      @@pandamandimax What a weird response?
      Hush

  • @spinspin1597
    @spinspin1597 Před rokem +353

    Kurtis casually dropping the fact that he's friends with Freddie Dredd is insane lol

    • @lorymichelle4838
      @lorymichelle4838 Před rokem +25

      Right I was looking for this comment lol

    • @Just.jolie.
      @Just.jolie. Před rokem +13

      I was about to comment the same thing!

    • @lozzc2496
      @lozzc2496 Před rokem +8

      I don’t think a single person would guess that they were friends 😭 most random friendship

    • @1cattails
      @1cattails Před rokem +4

      I know, right!? But honestly I'm not all that surprised lol they'd be good friends

    • @scurvyfigs3698
      @scurvyfigs3698 Před rokem +7

      all canadians know each other

  • @HappyCynic
    @HappyCynic Před rokem +31

    They may have changed the title in the UK because there was an album released by a band called Babylon Zoo in the 90s called The Boy with the X-ray Eyes.

  • @dancesmokesmile344
    @dancesmokesmile344 Před 7 měsíci +7

    11:24 I don’t understand the logic. You can see through the clothes but not the underwear? And how do they see through the clothes anyway, they should see through the skin, not just the clothes.

    • @Garm_Hound
      @Garm_Hound Před 2 měsíci +1

      They say you can adjust them. So om guessing you can adjust the level of see-through

  • @carolfromhr9900
    @carolfromhr9900 Před rokem +327

    The “burger time” skit is one of your best yet. The cross cutting, color correction, and slow motion had me dying.

  • @taylorlawrence3570
    @taylorlawrence3570 Před rokem +963

    I used to stare at this movie at the Hollywood Video when I was growing up, but never dared try to get my parents to rent it for me. So thank you Kurtis for finally showing me what it was all about.

  • @IndigoDetry
    @IndigoDetry Před 10 dny +6

    5:46 rewatching this now, the timing is 😭

  • @user-mh8gn8yy7n
    @user-mh8gn8yy7n Před 7 měsíci +2

    Whenever a movie has a scene in a beach, most of the time it's actually recorded again after the shootings, because lines from different clips won't match due to the wind and waves.

  • @nicolechaney6114
    @nicolechaney6114 Před rokem +1372

    Kurtis is more loyal to HelloFresh than many men are to their wives

    • @Frick8375
      @Frick8375 Před rokem +4

      LOL

    • @ukrainiansturgeon8561
      @ukrainiansturgeon8561 Před rokem +8

      Accurate the other way around as well. A lot of people are unfaithful.

    • @bm-ww8kb
      @bm-ww8kb Před rokem +115

      @@ukrainiansturgeon8561 oof. you really couldnt leave this comment section without throwing in a #notallmen eh lol

    • @Pain_Ito
      @Pain_Ito Před rokem

      @@bm-ww8kbit’s not #notallmen you dumbo it’s #wamencheattoo

    • @bolillo5013
      @bolillo5013 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Read this as he started the ad 💀

  • @viccolasvic9461
    @viccolasvic9461 Před rokem +677

    The millie bobby brown clip made my jaw drop

    • @malloryb8821
      @malloryb8821 Před rokem +56

      Drizzie was talking to Billie eilish (dk how to spell that) too. He's a POS.

    • @MissDraiha
      @MissDraiha Před rokem +36

      Yep definite creep factor

    • @MrZer093
      @MrZer093 Před rokem +35

      There ain’t no proof but people def be waiting for that story to drop. Right now, all he be doing is talking in an inappropriate way to kids

    • @brawndothethirstmutilator9848
      @brawndothethirstmutilator9848 Před rokem

      A few years back some stripper put him on blast in an interview for constantly requesting his Sheriff’s Badge™️ to be licked.

    • @billbill6094
      @billbill6094 Před rokem +35

      @@MrZer093 Well that and of course the video where he asks a girl her age, she says underage, and he still lets her dance on him on stage.

  • @MarielleVL
    @MarielleVL Před rokem +16

    22:00 nahhh😭😭😭

  • @orxalowe
    @orxalowe Před rokem +12

    4:14 this can actually happen when you overestimate a turning. it happened to my mother; she overestimated a turning on her way home from work and lost control of the wheel. she ended up crashing into a tree, then bouncing off into a hedge. shes alive and physically well, though she didnt go flying off a cliff... im not sure that part is realistic. also shes not a cia agent going round a giant bend, so perhaps my comment means nothing

  • @garaj1
    @garaj1 Před rokem +754

    So I have a weird memory associated with this movie. Back when i saw it as a kid in the early 2000s my dad once walked into the room, looked at the screen, said that Chuck was played by the same actor as "that stupid guy in that time travelling movie" and walked out. This all happened in maybe 15 seconds.
    It wasn't until many years later that i realized my dad absolutely sucks at identifying people and confused Robert Carradine with Keanu Reeves

    • @70sman
      @70sman Před rokem +227

      >walks in
      >confuses Robert Carradine with Keanu Reeves
      >refuses to elaborate
      >leaves

    • @amityislandchum
      @amityislandchum Před rokem +14

      I'm guessing your dad was a bit too young to have grown up watching Revenge of the Nerds? It came out in 1984. That's what Robert Carradine is best known for by the older generations.

    • @garaj1
      @garaj1 Před rokem +19

      @@amityislandchum Nope, he was in his 20s when Revenge of the Nerds came out and knew about it, though i can't say if he saw it. Regardless, he literally just sucks at telling people apart.

    • @koiifsh
      @koiifsh Před rokem

      @@garaj1 maybe he has face blindness?

    • @aeddiefarmer
      @aeddiefarmer Před 3 měsíci +1

      I relate to your dad so much as I have the same problem! My siblings used to laugh at me when we were watching TV, I'd be convinced I recognised an actor and be like 'isn't that the person who was so-and-so in such-and-such?' And they'd be like...no! 😂 I always felt so proud of myself at first for 'recognising' them!

  • @jordanne229
    @jordanne229 Před rokem +633

    the sucker-burger sketch is legitimately the best one you've ever done, the plot twist was great and fantastically underscored by the editing, it's honestly true art
    also loved the jacob cameo!

    • @jesper_and_the_juice
      @jesper_and_the_juice Před rokem +7

      i came to the comment section to say this too!!

    • @user-jt5rd8hi8s
      @user-jt5rd8hi8s Před 8 měsíci +5

      Unrelated but we have the same pfp 😜

    • @captainnugget7216
      @captainnugget7216 Před 5 měsíci +1

      ​@@user-jt5rd8hi8salso unrelated but the two of you no longer have the same pfp

    • @user-jt5rd8hi8s
      @user-jt5rd8hi8s Před 5 měsíci +4

      @@captainnugget7216 idk what you're seeing but on my screen we still have the same pfo but who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @jankounchained4211
    @jankounchained4211 Před rokem +7

    That “just a dream” bit was hilarious lol

  • @juliathehueman
    @juliathehueman Před 3 dny +4

    omg that drake part has aged like wine 😭

  • @shrexygal9104
    @shrexygal9104 Před rokem +424

    i am soooo here for the enemies-to-lovers storyline for the cop & the uncle

  • @verycoolwhaleshark
    @verycoolwhaleshark Před rokem +520

    as a british person, i can confirm that we are just an urban legend

    • @smsmsmsmsmsm
      @smsmsmsmsmsm Před rokem +12

      The amount of bots… but yes as a fellow british person I agree we only exist in myth

    • @kieranfoulger9091
      @kieranfoulger9091 Před rokem +9

      As a British person I'd like to say we do exist, but only when no one is looking at us

    • @Nobody-wc2qi
      @Nobody-wc2qi Před rokem +1

      @@kieranfoulger9091 Dr Who reference?🤔😅

    • @Toxxicrat
      @Toxxicrat Před rokem +2

      The UK is a social experiment

  • @Sonic_BoomFPV
    @Sonic_BoomFPV Před rokem +6

    Harry Stamper? Like Bruce Willis' character in Armageddon? Couldn't even be bothered to name their own characters for this masterpiece? 👍

  • @SILLYGUYXD
    @SILLYGUYXD Před 10 dny +12

    THE DRAKE JOKE NO WAY

  • @geniyabolton6651
    @geniyabolton6651 Před rokem +236

    I was genuinely unprepared for the burger to be missing