The Danger of Being Alone
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- čas přidán 6. 06. 2024
- The WHO has identified social exclusion as one of health's ten critical social determinants. Here is a scary study result: lack of social connections, when factoring in multidimensional analysis, increases the odds of mortality by 91%. The mortality risk from social exclusion is comparable to smoking and more significant than the mortality risk from obesity or physical inactivity.
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Who am I:
My name is Zach. I’m a Resident Physician in Boston. I make videos about medical school, studying, and growth. I love trying new things and often mess up. However, every time I screw up, I usually learn something. Whatever I learn, I post it either on CZcams or on my website 🌐 (zhighley.com/).
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Many of my friends are experiencing loneliness because either things have gotten so expensive that they don't have any dispensable income to go out or they've had to take on multiple jobs leaving no time and energy remaining for going out
That's tough, are there things you can do with friends that cost no money? Like a hike or playing a sports/board game?
@@ZachHighleyor just sitting and having a good conversation. Why not?
You either work all the time but have a small amount of time to spend it or you have a lot of time to do what you want but you are mostly broke. You can't win either way.
I remember one of my biggest take away from freshman psychology was not whether or not we had a community but whether or not we thought/ felt that we had a community. My professor gave an example of this gentleman in his 40's who he saw after having a heart attack his home was filled with flowers, he had upwards of 80 visitor checking in on him but he felt alone, he ended up dying of another heart ache a month later. Another one of his patients had 4 visitors but he felt like he had a community and was supportive he lived into his late 80's. Hopefully more data will come out on this topic to show some causation.
Very interesting, makes me wonder the power of your perception of the world, gratitude, and to a less controllable extent, the chemicals in our brains. Subjectivity is more powerful than we think sometimes
As Goethe said, ''It's better to be alone, rather than with the wrong people''. I understand the results of these studies, but since it's difficult to find any worthy friends I prefer to be alone, no matter the consequences.
Agreed!
But it's like cigarettes. Slowly, over time, loneliness has a detrimental impact on your health. You don't see it in everyday life, but in 20 years, it will have affected you. And I noticed one thing, perhaps it's just a personal observation - most of the time, I'm perfectly fine and content while being alone. But it's not always the case, sometimes, I want the opposite to what I'm doing, but there are few people who are okay with meeting up once in a few months time.
Loneliness has affected me too. I dont talk to anyone unless necessary, I have friends but I cant meet them, I cant share my thoughts. I always spend my life studying, if I want to have a good profession I have to do these. But I also need to improve my social relationships. After all, life is not all about work. It is necessary to talk and chat with people from time to time and not just depend on social media. In short, i need to socialize, this way i will be more comfortable psychologically and can continue my work accordingly. This video helped me answer some questions in my mind. Thank you❤
I’m trying to land a sweet spot between “why I choose a boring life” and “The Loneliness Epidemic”
it's a hard balance to find
@@ZachHighleythe amount of times I have to edit my initial comment to keep up with title change 😊
I obviously couldn’t keep up
Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I’ve been self sabotaging friendships because of bad past experiences, and that my resolution for next year is to reach out to old friends and meet new potential friends. Because I need a community around me and I can also be of help to others.
Good information, thank you. Our society is set up so independently now. It's important whether you are lonely or not to "see" other people. If you see a person who doesn't get out much or have alot of social contact, then maybe go visit them or drop them a gift at their front door , if you see a person on the street with out a home, then at least acknowledge them. So many little things we can do to simulate a community even if we will never be a tribe. It's important to get out of our own heads sometimes. Thanks :)
Definitely great to visit friends and drop nice things!
The production quality and content is insanely awesome... Thank you Zach
thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I adore the quality of your videos! And how engaging your speech is! 🎉
Great video 😎. I’m glad your channel came up in the recommendations.
My Phd thesis is about the importance of sharing. Historically, people lived in communities, and now I know after watch your video how important and vital is living in community. Thanks “for sharing”, Zach! 😂🎉
Thanks for watching, cool PhD!
I agree that better quality relationships will be more effective... I feel happy every time I see your notifications. Thank you for this good video.
thanks so much!
I heard that being lonely for long is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes per day and now due to a big increase of loneliness nowadays mortality rate is increasing way more faster especially in teen ages.So I think we should give attention for this thing as we do for other deadly diseases.
agreed odds ratio are comparable at the very least!
I did not choose to be lonely. I never was invited or welcome to anything. Having no friends means no feedback to improve. I'm 31 and it never gets better at this point.
It is not only about the loneliness, nowadays there are a lot of things that can damage you over time. Sometimes it is simply your physical self, sometimes having rough career path or losing people through your own journey.
Amazing video Zach!!!
Cheers Zach!
My Aunt's dad lived to be 102, he was off the boat at Ellis Island in the early 1900's- from Italy....he repaired shoes... he made his own pasta from scratch....and his pasta sauce was a secret for many decades.
As a young person growing up in the 1960's (me)...had many brothers and sisters...and no cell phones.... no loneliness existed.... outside playing baseball/ riding bikes...
My older sister lives at the "Villages" in Florida.... talk about a community...she's in many clubs.
Being more of an introvert- I live alone, however... connected to Nature. (and I still have all those brothers and sisters...very blessed indeed).
Thanks for your beneficial information. I have learned a lot through watching your CZcams videos. Here's something I want to ask from you. Please, do not ignore it. Can it be good for people's health to go running in cold weather? In most cases, people are afraid of catching cold. You should give advice as a doctor and an individual. Thanks for the response in advance. 😊
We need to invest our time in real conections. Making good firends in real world is very hard, but 2 or 3 good real friends are more value than one hundred likes in any social media.
The first step to have good friends is becoming into one.
That's why I deleted all social media. Just keep on adding for count where out of hundreds knew very few.
Real connections are a major key! Thanks for watching.
Thank you ❤🌷
Quality at its finest as usual ❤🎉
thanks for watchinggggg
@@ZachHighley I always do!! 😁😁
Great video man. 🌍
Thanks for the visit
Strong social communities would be great, but everyone is too busy and too cynical to create that environment. Besides, we can always just watch videos about loneliness instead of actually doing something about it.
Hmm, this is very interesting! I wonder if this would apply to people who truly enjoy being alone and choose to live with minimal interaction with other people?
That’s me 😉 and it works!
@ZachHighley so happy for you .because you just have discoverd and uncover the true meaining of life .sometimes it takes for us longer to find what you did found ....but hey don't listen to people whom said " 💰 money can buy everything " that's not true" as you as a doctor ." money can buy an expensive watch but not " time" money can buy a bed not " sleep" when Steve's jobs was in the hospital he said " you can hire the best driver to 🚗 drive your car or the best chef's to cook for you ." but you can not hire a person to feel your pain or being sick instead of you ...when you about to drowning in the high sea. " remember not gold not money can save you but a piece of old wood could save you ..." We should value things right ...not everything sparks is gold .." Hey i used to hate to be alone or with myself !! But now " i discovered i love to be with myself because ( myself ) can not mess with me .but hey " don't get busy trying to make a living while you forget to live !!
thanks for watching!
Very true!!
thanks for watching!
Well, according to this video i am destined to die in relatively early age, 'cause i have nearly no social connections. Ok, if life will be short, this is one more incentive to pay more attention at its quality, to value time, to value what i have , to develop myself and everything along those lines.
Capitalism loves isolation!
The perfect workers and consumers have been created, who seek attention and want to do better than each other and yet hate each other at the same time. Everything can be sold more than once if there are no shared homes: Kitchen items, furniture, electronics - the homes themselves. In addition, you can also sell products that they are supposed to use to initiate relationships: Dating sites.
If people also become mentally and physically ill through isolation, even better: you can sell medicine (antidepressants), alcohol, self-help material and other things.
And the best thing about it: people who are isolated don't form alliances with each other to enforce their common interests!
That's an absolute win! You make money from the cause AND the symptoms! Genius! Divide and conquer.
I know you like to plan things. Could you make a planning video. I think I would like to see that from you. 🥰
What do you do when you reach your 70s/80s and ALL of your friends have fallen into dementia, drug and alcohol addictions and have become just plain mean. I can't be around any of them anymore and need to be alone.
My brother, we women in my country are not allowed to go out or make charity. I can go for 3 months without going out, just me, my books, and my electronic friend, and I assure you that it has noticeable harms, the most important of which is social anxiety.
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I'm sorry to hear that. It makes me angry that women are treated as dogs - sometimes by individuals, sometimes by particular societies as a whole.
May I mention that Jesus noticed and was kind to women? Many of His followers were women. If you repent and cry out to Him, He will save, forgive, and answer you. You need not be lonely.
Also, He is returning to judge the world, and it seems like this is the time.
I have been physically and mentally healthier after I replaced my abusive family members with healthy people 50 years ago when I was legally able to leave. However, I am sure they would like to use your story to trap others that they would enjoy hurting for fun.
I really love to watch your videos on CZcams so just i wanted to give advice how can i discipline on homework
Well, then i guess i'm royally screwed! Myriad of healthissues, due to dysfucntional family, loss of parents at young age (genetic health issues)... i had two 'best friends' that have always been a bit opportunistic friendships, during the pandemic they fizzeled out. I have not really any friend left i see on a regular basis. At the moment, i haven't had human contact in a few weeks, only with medical staff (psychologist, physio). I am extremely lonely, but it's so damn hard to have to start all over again at 44. And i do live in a city... it's very weird to feel so lonely when being surrounded by so many humans. Also money is a big factor, hard to do fun stuff while on a low disability income. I can't remember the last time i had a vacation, must have been many years ago.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I strongly agree with you, quality over quantity!
This is completely irrelevant but your watch is really attracting me. May I ask you what kind of one that is?
Well, it looks like I am going to have shorter life or worse health later.
Nobody to have deep conversations, nobody to spend time with on a daily basis.
That's right, but i do have a query as you said the quality matters ..... so how can we find high quality people around us as nobody is able to judge other by 1st expression or 2nd meet up , n even if we go for socialism with an inorganic community that could be more dangerous nd most importantly as a 16 hours working student or worker hiw could socialism be managed ?
Thanks for the video, I just want a better life and friend.
I'm sure you will get there soon!
@@ZachHighley Thank you
Longevity is also determined by the soul's prelife planning 💋💋💋
Hi id love to be able to subscribe for your newsletter, but your link is not working!
Hey I just checked the link and it works for me? zhighley.com/newsletter/
@@ZachHighley thank you!
Absolutely quality over quantity!! 💯
Thanks for watchingggg
You speak very well. Super attractive. 😊
Interesting video, I can recommend the book 'The lonely century' by Noreena Hertz and the latest podcast of Rich Roll
I live in social community and feel lonely 😞 or want be alone ❤
reach out to someone!
Introverts can be happier when they are alone.
I saw your video about boring life and I agree with you, it is the best lifestyle . So I strongly advice you to take a look about Islam which advice you to do all these things you have mentioned and other things will make your life happier than you are now . ❤❤
From Egypt ❤️🙂
thanks for watching!
0:56 😮
The reason why coyotes who break away from the pack live shorter lives is probably because it’s more difficult to take down prey for food on their own.
This reminds me, as a Muslim, of a hadith said by the Prophet Muhammad "He who desires ample provisions and his life be prolonged, should maintain good ties with his blood relations" [ bukhari page 5956 ]
what do you call a hollowed out hotdog
❤
It's time to rejoin the group lol 🐺
Aouuuuuuu lol 😂 🐺🐺
woof woof
Scooby Doobie do lmao 🤣😂
❤❤👌
Thanks for watching!
damn i'm not a lone wolf but a lone coyote. time to join a pack.
banishment - getting cancelled irl
You better have called your Mom!
If only the majority of the people cared. Money and status is everything. Busy busy busy busy.
“Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be abundant and his lifespan to be extended, let him uphold his ties of kinship.” - Prophet Muhammad
Ties of kinship refers to upholding a positive relationship between members of the same family and keeping in contact. This was said by Prophet Muhammad 1400 years ago when data and studies didn't exist. He was given insights directly from God through the angel Gabriel, to benefit all of humanity.
Abu Hurairah (RAA) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“He who wishes to have his earnings grow (and be blessed) and his term of life prolonged, he should keep ties with his kin
I really do not agree. Loneliness is a mind set.
In other words, you don't believe in facts your opinions trump everything.
But where's the appeal to live longer? Don't you wanna go earlier?
Yes
Ngl great research, but all of this just sound like people who can't handle being by themselves and found an excuse