Gen Z is lonely - here's how it shows under anesthesia -Dr. Kaveh LIVE
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2023
- #loneliness #genz #surgery
Gen Z faces a loneliness epidemic, and it's so real in the body that it shows under anesthesia. Even when you're unconscious, the effects on your mental health are revealed.
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Dr. Kaveh video dives into the specific ways that the loneliness epidemic is affecting Generation Z and how this demographic experiences and copes with these issues differently from older generations.
Loneliness is a universal experience, but reports indicate that Gen Z-those born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s-are feeling it more intensely than their predecessors. Our video explores the reasons behind this unique generational trend, focusing on significant societal and environmental influences. Notably, we'll examine the profound impact of the COVID-19 pandemic and how digital communication, especially social media, has been both a blessing and a curse for Gen Z.
The coping mechanisms Generation Z employs to manage loneliness are diverse, yet not all of them are constructive. We delve into the phenomenon of increased sleep aid use among Gen Z, a concerning response to insomnia often linked to depression and anxiety. This trend, combined with escalating reports of substance use disorder, provides a sobering look at the severity of the loneliness epidemic in this age group.
This video also delves into how loneliness can intensify mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, and contribute to the development of substance use disorders. It's critical to understand and address these issues within Gen Z, not just for their immediate wellbeing but also because of the broader implications for public health.
One lesser-known consequence is how these mental health conditions can manifest during anesthesia for surgery and throughout the recovery process. We discuss how loneliness-induced mental health issues can complicate anesthetic management, influence postoperative pain and discomfort, and potentially hinder recovery. This connection further underscores the vital need for early intervention and the holistic care of patients.
Social media's role in this loneliness epidemic is significant, given Gen Z's digital fluency. While it's a valuable tool for maintaining connections, especially during pandemic restrictions, it can also amplify feelings of isolation and loneliness. We address the paradoxical nature of this technology, providing insights into its potential benefits and pitfalls.
With this video, we hope to generate understanding, promote dialogue, and encourage more research into the effects of loneliness on Generation Z's mental health. It's only through acknowledging these issues and working to address them that we can support Gen Z in navigating these challenging times.
Finally, we hope that this video helps everyone, regardless of generation, recognize the signs of loneliness and its associated mental health issues, encouraging more conversations, support, and treatment for those affected. We invite you to watch, share your thoughts, and join us in spreading awareness about this significant issue. Please remember to like, share, and subscribe for more content like this.
This video/speech/channel DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE. Patients with medical concerns should contact their physician. If your concern is an emergency, immediately call 911. This information is not a recommendation for ANY THERAPY. Some substances referenced in this content may be illegal, and this content is not a recommendation for, or endorsement of, their use in any way.
I think it's become glamorous to be depressed and "have" mental health issues. The mental health campaigns pushed (and instant gratification tools like the smart phone) have effectively normalized a lifestyle that's abnormal
there's nothing abnormal about having a disease. it is also a chicken and egg problem that's self reinforcing. remember the cocaine and mice problem? they did this experiment where they put mice in a small cage alone with cocaine and every single rat got addicted to it; but in a nice open environment with lots of mice cohabiting together, very seldomly would a mice get addicted to the cocaine. in fact, after introducing an addict mice to a health community, over time, the addict mice will actually recover from its addiction problems
what's unknown is whether society as a whole is evolving fast and the younger generations simply have no mechanisms to adapt to it. we used to live in tribal villages where everyone knew each other and relied on each other for manual work. we also lived in an environment with a lot of space.
nowadays, visit any large city and you'll see how lonely life can quickly become. tokyo, singapore, new york, shanghai, jakarta, san francisco, london, dubai, etc. (but especially tokyo) all of these large cities are packed with people shuffling about; seldomly would someone ever stop to talk to you, in fact, most people live under a anonymously competitive relationship to each other where to survive in the city, it means you have to be better than the person beside you. you end up working long hours; often past 9pm every night, and often including weekends, meaning you very rarely get a chance to exercise a healthy social life.
now compound this with parenting; ^ if both your parents are constantly working and no one is at home to take care of you; vs in previous generations where only 1 parent worked and families often lived together in large compounds, the kid is bound to have to adapt to living a lonelier life.
in other words, there's a lot of fast moving parts to how societies evolve as we as a civilization advance. there's no 1 single cause we can point to. yes, smart phones may play a part; but i do think that's mostly a symptom not a root cause.
but im sure being "depressed" isn't glamarous. nobody likes to be depressed. it's a disease, like cancer. you wouldn't say "hey, it's glorious to get cancer" these days.
You both raise very important points. I don't think you are in disagreement, though I will agree that the glamor of mental health conditions is a very controversial issue. On one hand, there is comfort in community, however, these are also very painful conditions
I definitely agreed with this for a long time.
I agree!! It’s a glamorized, trendy, attention-grabber. Awareness can be helpful but it’s gotten to be too much.
Yeah, its also common to suffer in a shitty country where everything cost to much, stress is a constant, and 80% of us are in medical debt. I kinda just assume everyone gets treatment when they can
10 years ago: "I'm trying to get my depression under control"
Now: "It is what it is"
it is what it is because I have to work full time and can't even afford a house much less some rent. When basic needs aren't being met, when there's no vacations unless you're sick (but only 24 hours a year) when homelessness is one paycheck away, its almost like that makes a whole generation depressed. Not very difficult math. I speak for the U.S.A. anyway.
At 13 (when I got diagnosed) my mindset was just wanting to get better and be happy. At 21 I just try to get through the week without kms
Me 7 years ago: it’ll get better I’ll heal
Me now: I’ll never get better I’m always gonna be messed up but I’ll live with it
@@smithsmithersen1646 unlike the generations before us we don't actually believe everything we see on the internet
@@Araminta22 you are allowed to be sick just only one day in whole year?
Early gen Z here, deleting all the social media off my phone made me realize its not the only problem. I actually see teenagers out being social all the time in neighborhoods that have things like skate parks and basketball courts. I see so many people my age and younger say that they want to go out and have fun but theres nothing to do or theyre scared to just walk around because theyve been told all their lives that theres always someone hiding in a bush just waiting to take them away. People also seem to feel threatened by the sight of teenagers just wandering around their neighborhoods without adults. I think technology is definitely a factor but not in the ways most people seem to think it is, i feel like there has been a culture shift against people just hanging out in public since anybody in public can potentially cause the next big news story
Urban planning and city design has a big impact on where and how kids hang out and how much independence they have. I think we need a revolution in city planning from Gen Z and Millennials. I hope you’re doing well!
Social media does actually help me with my mental health. As an only child, I feel like if I never had it to look at art, nature pics, and any inspiration for stories to write, i wouldn’t be able to get through the pandemic. And I feel less alone when I see that other people having the same problems as me and I’m not just weird and crazy. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes social media is toxic and I need a break from it sometimes, but you are right that social media is not the only problem and that’s it’s not always the villain. ❤
Completely wrong. The truth is there is no social skills or social development. Hear the same exact sht from guys. I can't just go up and talk to that pretty girl she'll think I'm a serial killer or something! No btch. She won't. She won't be creeped out. It's what men have done since our earliest humans. Going out around town talking making friends etc is the foundation of human societies. We don't have the social development and hence going up to strangers to talk and befriend them seems an impossibility. Yet generations ago that was the norm. It was the only way.
People feeling irrationally threatened by teens just hanging out and having fun happens a bunch in my area and I don’t get why. My friends and I love to go outside and spend time with each other, but if it’s in a (public) area without a ton of people there already, we’ve been told to leave or be quiet, despite not rlly bothering anyone. We’ve been harassed by security in some places with the assumption that we’re messing around or on drugs or something, when in reality we’re just talking & joking w each other. I’m convinced people are against harmless fun outdoors, it literally makes no sense to me what explanations there are lol
Yes!! Very well said
Early genZ here. I'd identify the constant economic pressure as a key reason why everyone of us gets depressed sooner or later. Things like social security, having a family or building a house are just so far away for us. And our future seems to be getting even worse.
Even with a good economy and all that jazz, people wouldn't have kids.
@@DatAsianGuynonsense. I’ve seen plenty of our gen that want to have a family but literally can’t cause it’s too expensive and they have to work. Wanna try again?
@@raccoon8743 what's your source? People you know, and that suddenly applies to everyone?
Birthrates have been dropping for a long time, it was feminism who is the main cause.
feminism started out as a way to destroy the family unit, because feminists believed that being a housewife is akin to slavery, then add on top the stuff you mentioned, sure, it doesn't help, but a good economy is not going to change what people want to do.
people in the third world fuck more and have more children, despite living in shit situations, yet everyone here is running around that our economy is so terrible. I am not saying it's in a good spot, but people make it seem like it's impossible to have children.
Personally my depression comes from my Anti-Social behaviors, i love being around people, but i dont like going out and doing things around a whole lot of people at once, then i get depressed because im lonely, if that makes sense
agreed. I'd love to move out of my apartment and get a house and try to have a kid, but am forced to wait bc my wife teaches and I am still in grad school. And now post-COVID the chances of getting to start to pursue a house and pregnancy seem FAR FAR lower because of how unaffordable housing and childbirth is.
Speaking as someone who grew up with a group of close friends who are marked by profound mental illness, we talk about “having” instead of “dealing with” mental illness because a lot it never does go away. My friends who are schizoid spectrum (2 paranoid 1 schizoaffective) are all basically homeless now. For so many of us it will not only not get better, it will actually get way, way worse. Treatement is often unavailable and even when it is it can be bad or unsuccessful. To this end telling these people it will “heal” is kinda just dismissing their lived experience.
Pharma and the food companies. You all are one of the hyper consumer generations. Socially engineered to carelessly consume. Not saying older generations do not have those problems, it's just, we put limits and shame on gluttony. Fast forward, Tik Tok and Xanax..
I don't even deal with it. I am at the whims of it.
But you can't say that. You can't say, "hey man, I'm completely out of control". Beecause then you're dismissed to die as useless.
@@bibsp3556 I agree with this as someone who will only speak truth I was dealing with a pain specialist who refused to treat my pain with things that actually work for me after doing endless procedures with only limited relief when I made it clear that I was his patient and I was paying him and I had trusted him to deal with me and help me navigate this thing that I was dealing with that I've been dealing with for several several years he was very dismissive and when I said you know what I'm giving you the money because I don't want to die I said I could turn around right now and go out on the street to fix my problem on my own which I don't want to do or you could help me do it safely he immediately called me depressed I needed to go see a psychologist blah blah blah blah blahI just don't understand how that could be turned into something now completely different the truth is the truth like I understand that the government wants to put restrictions on things and mental health is a big problem in this country nobody not everybody has access to it and some people that are really struggling won't go and seek help if there's a stigma still around it and I feel like everybody could benefit from a little therapy I personally like therapy it works for me I feel like now we're in this time where there's a lot of gaslighting in the medical field and this is what brought me to this exact channel Dr Kay has been an amazing experience just listening to his information and sharing his knowledge with all of us I do feel sad about the future of like all my friends children growing up they cannot afford to buy a house even on two incomes even having children might be out the door for most people it's just too expensive to livethere is a lot of pressure there's a lot of pressure but there's also a lot of pressure on this older folks too because we don't know technology so with the ever-changing things it's kind of catching us on both ends of things and I think what happened because when I was in high school or shortly after graduating all of my friends had children usually they were all single parents they did not spend enough time with their kids and they just threw him in front of the TV so I do believe that has some kind of social impact on the way that people are raised that's just my guess I don't have children so I really can't speak on that it's just what I see and have seen I have two friends of mine that both of their kids are severely depressed and they feel very lonely and they feel stuck and they both still live at home with no ambition to try because they feel like there's no other options and they're not going to accomplish what they need to and the time that they need to also I feel like when we all have to shut down with covid nobody really knew how to handle thatfor somebody like me I enjoy being so it didn't affect me but there are people literally that depend on social interaction just like they would air none of us are all one size fits all we are all very different physically and mentally I just pray that we can turn this around at some point because the 50% rate is pretty alarming and I think people are just disassociating and lacking social skills because their heads are in their phones you know and kind of associating already like scrolling wasting time not really addressing the root of those problems right so the root of the problem for me is addressing my pain and where it's coming from but I can't get there without help from a proper doctor and I can't get there if I'm being gaslit by asking simple questions and not getting the correct information but I love this channel and I absolutely agree with your comment I just wanted to let you know that I relate
"Suffering is normalized"
This Doctor gets it!
suffering is not normal when you can stop it
Arthur Schopenhauer got it.
isnt that wierd how that correlates with the increased obsession with mental health.. and the over prescribing of drugs
Suffering is the default human condition. It's up to the individual to overcome it.
@@jameslittle5214 Exactly. I believe it would be worth completing that line with "POINTLESS suffering is normalized".
Suffering is part of life and every being goes through entire chapters of it. It doesn't mean the whole story is that way. But suffering in vain will indeed lead to a meaningless existence and I really hope we finally wake up to the idea that it truly is up to us to decide which way we want the next page to go in the book of our lives.
I think that depression has become "normalized" because our society has stopped providing roles in which people can feel useful, empowered, and independent. My father barely graduated high school, got a job as a factory worker when he was my age, had 3 kids, supported us and my mom, bought a house, 20 years later he sold it for double and moved into a better house, still has that job, makes 75 k a year. Meanwhile, ive been putting in applications like a maniac to every place i can imagine and never get a call back despite having an impeccable work history. I went to college for 4 years but didnt end up getting my degree because i had to drop out last minute in order to be able to work full time so that i could have somewhere to live. I cant even support myself, let alone my partner. Ot really makes you feel like youre worthless
The worst part is that the previous generation will never admit how good they had it and how they've ruined this generation but apparently it's all our faults.
Same here. It seems like I just have no purpose and could just do whatever. But having that many choices is only confusing. In German we call that "die Qual der Wahl" - "the torture of choice(s)". It really is.
@@willenhall12345 I was born in 1964 and I'm tried of my generation saying that to you all. We had it made with job offers and career growth, promotions were easy and as a country, we were NOT TRILLIONS in debt. I stick up for you guys are I see these retired folks, who had it easy like you said, saying you're lazy etc. It's not true and you heard it from a baby boomer.
@@ASheepNoMore Thank you
It's mostly because Genz has no social skills, etiquette or ability to connect with other human beings. It's the fault of the parents, but once you're an adult it's your responsibility to develop a personality and social skills. Take an old school etiquette and networking class in person (not virtual). They actually work.
Also they do not seem to have real depression. Real clinical depression is rare and it's debilitating.
I have been screamed at by my peers (I am Gen Z) for saying that my mental health is the best it’s been in years and that I feel great because I’ve found strategies to manage my depression to the point where I hardly notice it. Both times it’s been by folks who say they take mental health very seriously because they have so many conditions that hold their mental health back. I think my generation has almost become obsessed with this idea of being sick and in pain because the moment you escape that you’re suddenly so privileged and ignorant to everyone else’s experiences and that just isn’t true. I grew up poor and for four years I was a drug addict (opioids.) I got sober through lots of hard work, withdrawal pain, relationship trials, and rebuilding my support systems. I had to earn my happiness back and I know what worked for me, unfortunately a lot of young folk are so blinded by pessimism and fear that the idea of getting better almost seems like a personal attack.
I don't think that's it. I have enough self control to be supportive and act happy when people talk about getting better, and I do wish everyone around me would get better. However, having conversations about mental health opens up old wounds I've never been able to close, and it hurts so much to think that other people are getting better yet nothing I do works. It's also like I've lost a person I could talk to about these issues because instead of us supporting each other, they'd mostly be supporting me. Still, there is no good reason to drag those who've finally escaped back down. It's wonderful you've won back your happiness.
All this and everything thing in the comments boils down to the epidemic of wanting to be a victim 🤣 everyone wants to be a victim of something nowadays.
I found my faith again and broke the cycles of depression I fell into through the grace of God. And it has contributed to a rift in my friend group because I talk about how it has made me happy.
As a 17yo with mental health issues, you're completely right. I hurt the worst when I'm aware of what I'm doing to myself, but can't make myself work to get better.
And that is the truth of the matter. Chemical induced depression is real, but the idea that it isn't something we can control through making better life choices, such as getting off drugs, staying off porn, staying off the computer screens, exercising, eating right, and all the other things that older generations have done is where the newer generations are failing. There is a reason why as our society devolves into doing all the above worse and worse, that depression caused by chemical imbalances skyrockets. And that is simply because the life choices we make cause our brains to react to our lifestyles and environments differently. You don't see Amish communities suffering from nearly the same amount of widespread depression that Americans face, and that is because they live lives that are fulfilled by even the most simple of tasks and are not bombarded by lover the top dopamine hits when they are constantly on the internet or taking drugs as we are.
“The distraction replaces searching for the root cause of the suffering.”
As a Gen Z-er, this is powerful and pertinent. Social media, video games, and drugs like weed, benzos, and opiates are powerful pacifiers - band aids of sort - which have prevented me from actually making necessary changes in my life by way of temporary distraction. I’m sure there many others in my shoes.
The distraction is a crucial survival tool, but getting trapped in it is hell. I’ve been trying to use it to keep myself just distant enough to keep my calm so I can gingerly climb back to reality, treating it like a volume knob. It’s hit and miss but if I can’t turn it off maybe I can make it a little more useful.
In a world like this I don’t know if any of us could handle taking reality raw to the face while completely alert and present without being obliterated
Games and weed are just fine in moderation.
@@PresidentNotSoSuremaybe. But who do you know that's *actually* moderating them? I know I wasn't.
Older millenial here, had the same problem. I didn't realize it until I was 30, I was using drugs as an escape from the stressors that I had. Once I stopped, and started to actually address the problems, suddenly the desire for weed and alcohol were gone. Funny how that works.
C1ique, I'm gen x, and did all those things myself, it's nothing new, boomers did it in the 60s, Victorians could just buy what they wanted in the chemists. It's a very old behaviour.
honestly I don't understand how anyone _isn't_ depressed right now.
i am alone but i am not lonely
because i have a life other than social media
@@altaccount9839facts
turn your depression into disappointment in failed circumstances and friends who failed you and put the emphasis back on doing things yourself with new and people who are improvements on the old ones who you ditch and better planning and then put the responsibilty on your own back....because it always comes back to that...there is a difference...
Christ is the answer tbh, I know most ppl don’t want to hear it but He is the only person I’m living for and I’m the happiest I’ve been. Give God a chance, what have you got to lose yk
Gen Z is lonely because there is barely public space for them to hang out and absolutely no private space to do so. There's this weird believe that once kids turn into teens they're no longer allowed to act like children and expected to be quiet. Adults were mad at teenage me and my friends for laughing to loud and hanging out around playgrounds or other public spaces, my parents found it weird if we would play silly games because we were no longer children but found it also weird if we'd end up just watching movies because what about good old times when people just "connected". Parents found it increasingly annoying if you constantly brought over friends, it's frowned upon to hang out at digital spaces like discord and how dare gen z spends so much time online. No matter what and how teens and young adults are no where really welcome or they get shamed for it. Additionally you have to pay for many hang out spots nowadays (like for cafes or something like that). Once I really reached adulthood and got income (as little as it might be) my options increased tremendously. However, now everyone is occupied with work or uni or both and finding the time and energy after doing all the chores is the new hurdle that keeps me from seeing my friends as much as I'd like to.
Im currently doing summer school in highschool and my teacher brought up how our class was really quiet and also mentioned how we have nowhere to hangout. He also figured out that a decent amount of us don't try and go out of our way to hangout either and I have no clue what to make of that
Nah man. This generation is hopeless because we aren't allowed to grow up. Why work, if you can't afford the bare minimum?(food) Why learn, when there are no jobs for young people that doesn't involve working for free or even have to pay the employer to take you in. We aren't allowed to afford our own places. We aren't allowed to have a family. We are stuck to be teenagers and our only hope to even get a chance at life is, if someone in the family dies and your name is in their will. Not only that but we lived thou 2 regressions 1 pandemic while our neighbor land is in total war.
a lot of this sounds like purely an American thing, in australia we were goofy as hell and no one cared as long as we weren't bothering people, my parents left me alone for the most part since they didn't understand me but they at least knew that stopping me from doing what I like will just make me more depressed.
@@SweetXoXMira bruh... I can't believe it but you're right!!! And take that in... I'm 21 and I can't believe I've already lived through TWO recessions😅 no wonder gen z is like this 😢
@@theoneandonly4464 I sincerely hope this is satire
As a 21 year old who’s dealt with depression for 8 years, I can definitely say it’s become too normal. I cope with it by just dealing with it, of course that increases my stress but I don’t have anything else or the time for anything else. But 1 thing I’ve noticed that affects the mind and causes depression to bloom more is the lack of sleep. Sleeping late and getting 6 or less hours of sleep, especially back to back causes depression to have an easier time. Now take the amount of time people was on CZcams/twitch/TikTok and think about how little sun they get. It’s all simple really, but no one even tries to think about anything anymore
this comment needs to be seen!!!
Isn’t porn just the cause?
Same ive been depressed since like 13 and am 21 now also been to a few therapists over the years. My anxietys are higher than my Depression tho i dont see my depr. As a huge Problem but my anxiety yessss definitly i cant decide some important things because of it
@@IrrationalDelusion nope. When do you think was the last time I watched porn?
Cause the world is awful. Something new and more tragic than the last thing happens every single day and we are expected to just smile through it and keep on existing. I forget that it will all end one day and it seems that that is the only thing pulling me through the rough days sometimes. Knowing that there is an end to this. I wish humans couldn't want things, I wish they knew how to give. People are learning to take and reap all the benefits with little to no effort. It's all so backwards.
As a millennial who grew up abused by my adoptive "mom," I felt like I was a freak for having so much anxiety and depression. I was diagnosed with PTSD at 17, but I'd had it since I was a young kid. Now, I see that my inner turmoil and sense of alienation and existential angst and agony is NOT rare. It seems nowadays we all can relate to this experience. Our collective future (unless you're in the 1%) has largely been scammed away from us. Of course we're all fucking depressed and anxious. That's just the tip o' the (melting) iceberg!!
I see this actually as incredibly simple:
People need real, positive, supportive connections with other people in life and this is increasingly not an option.
I would prefer to amend your statement, to say that some, maybe most, people need real, positive, supportive connections with other people in life.
@@doloresreynolds8145 Amend*
Introverted people are drained by casual socialization, they absolutely need real, positive, supportive connections with people, just a smaller circle preferably avoiding small talk.
@@Human_Organic True.
Social media and the algorithms are just too good.
Also once things go up online it is on there forever. Thank God I JUST missed the age of everyone having a camera in their pocket. Sure a have a lot of memories I wish I could watch but there are bad ones too.
This is why I rarely use social media. Its all lies too... No one posts how shit their life is really. So all you see is people living these seemingly fantastic lives which is simply not true.
It's become almost impossible just to be able to get 3 friends together for coffee because of having to go around everyone's jobs. There's no universal time off anymore. People don't go home at 5pm and get saturday/Sunday off
As a Gen Z I found that people get stuck in their mind(myself included), "A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So he loses touch with reality, and lives in a world of illusion." - Alan Watts, this quote exemplifies this; My current solution is to "Ignore ones self" in the sense of ignoring existential thoughts and thinking of what is presently available
I would have assumed an inability to be inside your own mind was more of a Zoomer problem...hence TikTok, CZcams shorts, and other fast format, rapid fire dopamine blasts.
cringe
@connor3284 its more of an escape from inner thoughts, because without a good outlet or good inputs the thoughts merely fester and perpetuate the negativity that created those thoughts in the first place
@@peppino3609🤓
We should hang out. I bet we'd be friends.
This is so interesting! I am Gen Z (born 2000) and have been under general anaesthesia twice.
The first time was in the middle of doing my university degree and needed to have my appendix out. I was horribly stressed and definitely felt very lonely at the time. I woke up from the surgery screaming and crying. I remember feeling so afraid, and my Mum said it was an incredibly stressful thing to witness.
The second time was once I had finished uni, started seeing a therapist and working on my mental health. I was having my wisdom teeth taken out. I woke up peacefully and fell in love with the nurse who applied vaseline to my lips 😂
I had surgery in 2020, I’m 24 so I’m technically early gen Z. Thankfully I woke up from that surgery lucid & grateful.
I’m so glad I wasn’t on my phone before hand, I was with my partner & nervous as all heck but it all went good.
I will say, as gen Z & with post COVID times, I’m not trying to be on this Earth for a long time. None of my dreams are possible anymore with the economy & the world is falling apart. It seems so worthless to keep caring.
So it’s hard 😆
I feel like I fluctuate between both states of mind (fight & flight-peaceful & grateful)
Lately it’s been all fight/flight.
oh my gosh same. its real hard out here. and i resonate so much with what you said about fluctuating with being in fight or flight, and being at peace/grateful. i hope all goes well for you
yea girl I didn't try until age 21 and now it seems pointless so every day I'm like :/
How incredibly sad. Please don't watch the news, make friends of all ages, hike, bike or garden. This too shall pass. When it becomes this impacting on your emotions, you need to ignore it. I'm very sorry.
I'm 27 and the older I get the less I'm inclined to lose hope. The stuff that depressed me as a teenager is just silly to me now.
Every time period has class limits, every time period has disease, every time period has war.
You're in the unique position that you're not a farming serf bound to till the same land the rest of your life; and you're not nobility bound to court the same halls and play the same role the rest of your life. Most things you decide to do, there's some way you could realistically do it.
_That's the problem._ Infinite choices means unlike most of human history, you actually notice the limits of your industriousness.
But not everyone has to be a CEO or star; if you just wanna focus on gardening, you can just quit your job, move to a different town, and become a professional gardener and be quite fulfilled.
Today we live like kings and that comes with its own brand of misery. No shame in choosing a "lower" goal that's more fitting your personality, energy level, and has its own standards of nobility and pride.
Nothing wrong with being a gardener.
As the song goes "Have no fear of atomic energy--none of them can stop the time."
@@-simplicity7551 i tried really hard at 19, 20, and now i just drink :/ the world's gonna end before i develop cancer anyway
As someone who is a Gen Z, and also has a large interest in city planning/design, I think loneliness is heavily tied to how modern cities are built. I noticed things seem to be further away compared to when previous generations were our age. I am in a suburb and would like to have a group of friends, or a community, but everything just seems so far away because there are just miles and miles of houses, and no places for leisure and hanging out. This might not be true for all Gen Zers, but for me I feel like lots of cities are designed first around the automobile instead of around people and fostering communities.
An addon to this is that I spend very little time on social media and am always trying to explore and do new things. Just makes it hard to not feel lonely when you don't live in a walkable city, and everything is so far away.
Duuuude this is what i
Have been thinking for so fucccccking long ,you are so so right man,its like theres just bad planning overall i moved to kenya 2 years ago and i am baffled by the lack of city planning they dont call it a third world cluntry for no reason you can walk for miles and wont find a bench to sit on let alone a decent sidewalk actually there are no sidewalks for most of the part and the ones that exist are broken,no place to hangout with people other than bars where the drunks and harlots are or overly relgious gatherings at churches or temples there no in between for the normal folks ,for me in a perfect city there needs to be benches under trees ,gardens with fishes little ponds,more concentration on night life etc
City planning and design for decades took into account a male, employed 35-year-old car driver. The needs of women, children, young adults and older people were of no interest, as well as climate matters. This is why our cities are not a place of encounter and well-being.
This is so true. I'm from Peru it's not the first world but it isn't as poor as Kenya. So, we do have walkable cities and parks with benches, small town restaurants in every neighborhood and everything is walking distance.
However I spent 1 year in California, USA and something that buffled me was how empty felt the cities, everything was so far away, without a car you can't do anything and there's was no way to just walk to take a coffee or icecream in a local shop.
The CZcams channel Not Just Bikes goes into how America and Canada are essentially unwalkable and unbikable. Towns used to be built to be walkable with areas to hang out. Now every parking spot is a commodity, nothing is walkable, city space is expensive.
It certainly doesn't help with kids being lonely.
We were told “Depression is a chemical imbalance”
Which feels VERY validating at first… but the only logical conclusion in the long run is: “There is no hope of getting over your depression”
Even IF depression is a “chemical imbalance” or a “genetic propensity” the limiting beliefs we were taught bind us down.
My Generation lacks hope. And hope is a potent drug.
I may have to make a video on this topic. But hope really does change things
Actually they're not sure it's a chemical imbalance, and they're not sure how SSRIS work. These are common misconceptions. Another painful misconception is that you have for some reason choose between medication and therapy. For people with severe, debilitating depression, medication is a way to make you ''healthy'' enough to be able to handle going to therapy. You're supposed to take your medication, which will elevate your mood and energy levels, and you'll be able to do things like going to therapy, working out, eating better, being creative and then you'll get better. You're not supposed to suffer going to therapy when you're say, suicidal, and you're not supposed to just take your meds and not do anything all day. Of course there are valid reasons why people do either, i.e. money, but it's far from optimal treatment.
@@phishcatt instead of typing all this garbage that means absolute zilch for the universe why dont you go work out,meditate,and hug your family. That would literally make you happy. 3 things
Jeez that's a powerful quote right there.
Just because there is a chemical imbalance doesn't mean your actions don't have an effect. It IS something you can change or atleast effect. That's also how psychotherapy. There are many different mechanisms which can possibly improve ones mental health like positive reinterpretation just to name one. Some behaviors have a negative impact on ones mental health and life and can be overcome even if it's hard.
I had a surgery where i had to have full-body anesthesia 2 years ago (17yo). I left my phone in the safe before i laid on the stretcher, and mom was there to talk to me and almost treating the pre-surgery procedures as a day-to-day commotion. She stayed by my side and chatted with me until we had to separate. I remember laying down on the surgery bed and just allowing every procedure to flow. I followed everyone’s instructions and blacked out very soon. After being discharged, i asked mom how i acted under anesthesia. She told me, “you gained consciousness when you were back on your bed. You were really grateful for everything and said ‘thank you’ to the nurse when she laid another blanket on you, and when i told you i left your dinner on the table. You said ‘thank you’ repeatedly before i left.”
Honestly, i did not expect myself to act so polite when i was barely conscious. And after watching your video, im proud to be one of those ‘mature’ gen z’s.
i love being in hospitals and doctor’s offices because everyone is always so caring. every time i see a doctor i feel like i actually matter and it’s nice to not feel alone for a moment.
Your not alone 😘
man you are so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also Jesus loves you!!!!!!!!!!!
I can tell you're not from Germany 😅
😢
Some demographics are treated worse than dogs by the medical community. Institutional racism. Kaiser Permanente is the worst.
@@allesdurchprobiert That's scary if I ever go to Germany! 😒
One kind of lonliness that really sucks is being physically surrounded by your friends and family but feeling completely alone.
Are the people around you also distracted? I see that a lot in my family, and we really have to mindfully get together.
Oof. Yep..
Yeah :/ I usually feel kind of anxious and trapped. I don't feel included so I try to distract myself by doodling, fidgeting with something random or spacing out. Oddly enough, I'd rather be surrounded by strangers at a karaoke bar than with friends who don't include me in the space.
I like your channel name! Rad :) 🤙🏼
Maybe you're trying to be something/someone that you aren't
@@notaburneraccount Your comment reminds me a lot of the song "Rather be Lonely" by the band Red Vox.
It's so refreshing to hear a medical professional admit that the health care system is a mess
I'm a medical professional and I don't know anyone who doesn't think the healthcare system is a mess
@@tomisaacson2762 just wish more would be done to actually change it for the better
It's a for profit industry, of course it's a mess.
@@cameronb7161Oh please, you want Canada's healthcare? You want to be told to unalive yourself? But hey! At least it's free!
@@Clown_the_Clown you may think it's ok to make people pay for life saving medicine, but I happen to be a decent person.
these are the medical videos that should be viral in all social media, not the nurses or doctors making fun of their patients. Your patients are fully blessed to know that you are one of the few who fully and genuinely care about their well-being. I am gen z and it really breaks my heart seeing other folks battling with these mental health issues, just a week ago a bright fellow student with full potential ended himself, it was heartbreaking to hear other passerby who had to walk and see the scene as it occurred in real-time, we will make it through
OOF :( :( yeah!
I'm a psychiatry resident and we tend to see many gen Z's (not only, but a majority) coming to the psychiatric emergency room for life events that used to be handled by talking to friends or family (or introspection). Examples are boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with them, conflicts at work / home etc. My brother made an interesting observation a while ago "no one can stand being by themselves or having silence around them".
Also very interesting about the interactions between the drugs and anesthesia. Will remember this for our ECT patients!
As a member of Gen Z myself, constant nihilism and the worst of humanity being pushed on us by the internet along with online substitutions for real human interactions have definitely made a firestorm of loneliness and apathy
True.
Very good point.
I was raised with life growing and thriving all around me most especially physically and spiritually and naturally and it was respected and appreciated.
I am Gen X. All 7 of my siblings are Baby Boomers. My parents were from the Silent Generation and old enough to be my grandparents.
I raised 2 Gen Z daughters. I did with them what was done with me.
I had them out in nature a lot and showed them the little bugs as we watched them work. We watched animals and cared for our pets. Played in the creek. Camped. Campfires. Sleept in the yard with no tent so we could see the night sky. Swam in ponds & lakes.
I showed my kids the meaning in as many things as I knew how.
I kept orb spider webs in the shed doorways because they had a job and I explained that job to my kids etc.
I taught them how very many of those so called "weeds" were edible and madicinal plants that we must use with greatfulness and respect and try not to over pick them. To not waste them.
.........it goes on and on......
And while I did/do all of that, I was/am, an imperfect screwed up person who has made my share of mistakes, but I let Unconditional Love in and It came back out for my daughters just as my parents did for me.
I loved being raised that way and my friends liked to come spend the night so they could do fun things too.
I wasnt spoiled. I knew my limits and I knew the extra chores and groundings Id get for allowing myself to act up badly which is why I chose to respect my freedom over being grounded while having to do all those extra chores for choosing to behave badly.
We were poor and could not afford to go traveling or to buy high priced gadgets but I didn't seem to noticed it much. Some of my friends that had rich parents and had the fancy gadgets and toys still enjoyed coming to my house to do the free stuff because it was fun playing hide & seek in a corn fields and many other fun stuff outside running wild in nature or being goofy in the house during extra cold winter days.
My older nieces and nephews were just a few years younger than me and loved spending the weekends or summers at our house as we were growing up because there was life and freedom and respect. They were Gen X like me.
My Gen Z great-neices & nephews loved coming to my house and setting their gadgets aside to catch minnows in the creek, climb the mulberry trees to pig out, make mud pies and eat fresh from the garden or fresh wild greens along with my Gen Z kids.
Now my Gen Alpha great-great nephews & niece are and or will be getting to enjoy Unconditional Love and the best of humanity as well and when the worse of humanity comes along hopefully the compassion they are being raised with enables them to have the strength to keep moving forward without giving up and wallering in depression.
I'm serious, find YOUR thing that you personally have the ability to do and if it is safe and legal to do so then go for it!
Be young at heart!
Be the You that You were born as and share that with others. For examples, if you have a knack with card playing then have friends over to share snacks and play wild funny games of cards while yall cut up laughing.......just an example. Or have bonfires and Karaoke.........just be YOU and make the best of it.
I don't have the answers. I'm only saying what helped my parents when they were children, and myself and my kids and their cousins. To each his or her or their own though.
I think kids, well any age of person, usually don't mind what it is just as long as the action being done together is shared, brings about a shared goal & laughs etc.
Ages & generations then lose their boundaries and humanity combines & includes & grows with positivity & strength like it should. Unconditional Love has the ability to do that.
To respect life in all its many forms from the little web making spider all the way up to the giant big whales in the ocean is an important life long learning tool to have in my opinion no matter the generation. Life 💜
See, feel, love and acknowledge life from within and all around you in all its many forms. Blessings to you.
💜🙂🌻
🐕🐈⬛🦝🦊🐅🐴🦌🦬🐄🐖🐑🐐🐪🦙🦒🐘🦛🦏🐇🐿🦫🦔🦇🐨🦥🦦🦨🦘🦃🐓🐥🐦🐧🦅🦆🦢🦉🦩🦚🦜🐦⬛🪿🐊🐢🦎🐍🐳🐬🦭🐠🐙🦞🐌🦋🐛🐜🐝🐞🕷🕸🌹🌷🪻👨🏾🦽🚶🏽♀️🚶🧑🏿🦯🕴🏿💃🏾🕺🫄🏼👶🏾👨🏼🚒🧕🏽🫂
🌲🌳🌴🌵🌾🍀🍁🌿☘️🌱🪴🌺🌻🌼🌷
Hug my friend, while i am more millenial then gen z (boomer parents, grew up with millenial siblings, homeschooled too)
Things are shit rn and they just seem to be getting worse, something needs to change, and eventually it will change, how? I dont know, but we gotta hold on.
Truth.
So you understand the cure, right? And you could influence others in your generation to stop making excuses and get off the phones and go actually DO SOMETHING.
I remember doing a psych project on the bodily effects of loneliness on the body. It’s incredibly damaging.
Interestingly, it’s not the objective isolation that matters, but rather the subjective feelings of loneliness in the individual. Meaning the number of people around you does not matter, it’s how connected you FEEL to those people.
This hit pretty close to home, pun not intended. My home life is trash, I had a ton of mental health crisis’ and my family was indifferent at best and verbally and emotionally abusive at the worst parts. Now, five years later, ttying to stay sober, have a boyfriend acorss country who I want to see again, working dead end job after dead end job without any rest, and I’m beginning to hit my fucking breaking point again. If it weren’t for my boyfriend giving ne hope and reminding me of basic things that stress and poor health have been making me forget as of late. I need a weekend off, but lately I can’t have the time and Imm still stuck around hose who treated me like dirt when I was at my lowest, and they can’t understand why I snap at them (and only them) every time they speak to me, yet I’m the nicest person to everyone else. By the way, rhis is something they asked an old coworker about, and his answer was the same answer I gave them before that: “Because he likes being treated like a normal person.”
Big oof.... I still feel lonely despite having friends
What does it do
What are the effects you found?
I have no friends. I only have my parents, who I live with.
I was born in 2004 and I feel like gen z wasn’t as blindsided as millennials were about the world we’ve found ourselves in. They had to adjust to the internet, a pre 9/11 world, a global financial crisis, etc. while we were almost completely raised beside it and sort of knew what to expect. I always thought it was a blessing and a curse that we were born late enough to see the writing on the wall.
I’m 34, but loneliness is endemic to everyone born after the 90s it seems. Honestly I have mixed feelings about going to surgery. It’s expensive, it’s a financial stress… But it’s also something that feels very real. When you have to live paycheck to paycheck, unable to socialize in person, something as strange as feeling pain of stitches while chit chatting about some documentary I saw with my doctor is cathartic. Numbness is my bane, but it’s increasingly inescapable.
i mean youd have to be completely devoid of experiences and thoughts to not be depressed in todays society
I don't understand. If loneliness is so pervasive among gen z, why dont you all just hook up?
@@HisbeautifulTruth-nl1ch because while hooking up can take the edge off it's only momentary and then it comes back even worse than it was before you hooked up.
@@Kevinleehiltonjr I don't mean "hook up" in the street sense. I mean lonely people should make company with each other, especially if you're part of a recognized group.
@@HisbeautifulTruth-nl1ch well they would have to find a group with like minded individuals who are all in the same general vicinity. And that is a tall order these days.
As a Gen Z, I find that many of my peers were practically raised nihilistic as the world burned around them. Social media contributes to this as we had unlimited access to every awful thing to happen since we started using it. The world is (literally) burning to the ground, there was a plague, a majority of people my age are in crippling debt before experiencing full adulthood, social security is drying up (if they don't axe it), nobody can afford healthcare, there has been over 300 mass shooting in 2023 alone, etc. To many, the world (at least American life) simply sucks and it isn't worth the energy to deny it. When the people before us die, will we be able to rise from the ashes? Can we fix things? We really don't know and it gives us all anxiety.
Agreed we got sucker punched as soon as we stepped into the world.
America is the one bad apple that spoils the bunch.
There is massive upheaval in the world. I believe it's necessary in order to unearth all the latent evil in the world so people become aware that they have been lied to by all major institutions for decades. For this reason, I believe we will rise from the ashes, by grace. 💙
@@catzbestfriend I hear you. 2008 wiped out many millennials. But Gen Z is dealing with way more as young people.
this exactly. how are we supposed to find a way out of chronic hopelessness when there's less and less every day to hope FOR? I can improve my self-talk and change my habits, but I'll still have to sit by helplessly as everything goes extinct and every lovely place in the world gets paved over or paywalled. it's not really a mystery why any of us are depressed. it's just easier to pretend like *we're* the broken ones.
as a gen z’er, it’s like a breath of fresh air to have someone say that being on our phones all the time is bad BUT IT’S A SYMPTOM of an underlying loneliness. he’s not saying we have bad habits he’s saying we need help 🥺 thank you-
The phone and social media partially causes the loneliness too...
@@halcyonacoustic7366 It doesn't, that's just blaming tech for a structural problem. Our currently capitalist society is BUILD to create loneliness, overwork and individuality, tech is not "partially" responsible for this.
@AlehGea nope, capitalism isn't to blame for being depressed and lonely, capitalism has been around since your grandparent's time and the grew up way better than us. being on our phones and being unproductive all day combined with depression and loneliness being romanticized is the reason everyone feels that way
@@koulouri352 capitalism progressively gets worse. we are living the worst part of it, and the most recent generations will only feel it worse. so, yes, it can be blamed. for example, mass produced housing creates mazelike suburbs with nowhere for youth to hang out unless they walk for hours.
@@AlehGeaYou are in the denial stage, just sayin
i feel like even beyond loneliness, our placelessness is really the cause of our incessant depression. for me, i feel like i live in a world where there is no need for us. every thought and idea has already been said, everything has been invented already. and even then, we are just to be practitioners for the older generations, complete the jobs that they don’t want to. we are exploited, products are marketed towards us because we are impressionable and naive, and we are every corporations future clientele once we start making enough money.
i feel such a sense of placelessness and hopelessness at times, and i know i’m really not alone. and i have even bigger fears for children being born today, who can’t even speak yet because all they know are screens.
Part of gen Z here. I don’t think technology is the problem, contrary to a few of the comments I see popping up.
The problem for me, I think, is just that I don’t really know what to do. The only time I see any other people consistently is at school, and even then we’re all focused on the material and actually paying attention in class to really bond much. And when we do contact each other outside of class, what then?
I have 4 classmates’ numbers on my phone, and we don’t really talk much. I don’t really know what to say, exactly. I don’t know what their interests are, and it feels like it would be awkward to ask, and sometimes our conversations just end and we don’t start talking again for a while because there’s really nothing to be said.
Recently, I’ve started to use a bit of social media (I didn’t really do so before) and it’s actually helped my mental health a bit. I’m having interesting conversations with people who like the same kinds of things I do, the same interests I do, and I actually vented to one of them when I was feeling down one time.
I agree that technology CAN impact mental health negatively, but I would like to say that I don’t believe it is the main problem, at least judging from my own experiences.
You've given me some good insight on how I might one day tackle my toddler's social life when he finally gets to school. Thank you for that. Hoping things continue to look up for you! Try not to let social anxiety and awkwardness stop you from making friends that you deserve 🤘🖤
This! It’s not that the new gadgets are bad per se, it’s just that we are using them in a suboptimal manner.
The thing about social media that people don’t talk about is that it is far easier to meet people you have something in common with. This is often a reason people cannot connect with those around him. Also, social media is now a stand in for so-called third spaces. When I was young, we had places we could go to hang out with friends. But teenagers have been policed out of those spaces, like malls and parks.
At some point you have to be willing to be awkward or whatever discomfort to get through it to experience connection. Honestly, you’re going to be awkward anyway so may as well ask them what they’re interested in.
I'm Gen-Z I was born in 2002. I can't tell you how saddened I am seeing what my coworkers describe to me as their "friendships". I personally would describe them as loose acquaintances or even just "I know x person" with how superficial and shallow their friendships are. I lot of the 'younger' generation that I work with have a distinct lack of meaningful, loving, and deep connections with others both platonically and romantically.
Such a good point. It’s hard to get close to people when Gen Z thinks that your therapist is the only one who should hear your problems. If you try to get real or vulnerable you’re accused of trauma dumping
@@evangeline9052I befriended a girl who was going through relationship troubles and literally just helped her get the confidence to make choices for a week, and she told me I was a better listener than her best friend. I felt the compliment hard, but also worried about her friends, so I invited her to meet my friends sometime.
It wasn't exactly modeled well for you
Huh, small world. However, in my place, im just the support that is a regular favoritism.
Can you stop favoriting people? I am tired and I don't like struggling as support. But as the saying goes (for me anyways), "Im your support. You don't need to help me, I can struggle enough to get by. I'll listen as I do my job for the amount that requires me".
Millennials are in the same boat 😭
Loneliness is a very hard problem to overcome because it is not fixed by a single individual, but a whole community.
Not to mention the rejection that frequently happens to someone trying to interact with others. People are so insensitive to others, saying to vulenerable hurting people they just need to socalize, yet sociaity is pushing those indiviuals away because they are considered awkward.
@@DaniGirl6for real. I didn't have any friends growing up because everyone was an asshat that treated me as an outcast. I would sit by random people at lunch, get rejected and got told to sit somewhere else. I always ended up sitting at an empty table. I had selective mutism so I was treated like a freak of nature.
Now thats bs. All my loneliness was overcome by going on a journey of self discovery (gym, diet, getting out of the house). Oh, and getting a girlfriend helped a lot too.
it takes one person to start. I was always taught to never leave anyone out (an idea that made introverts very perplexing to me- turns out some WANTED to sit by themselves at times!) in my lifetime I have only ever left one person out (I felt absolutely terrible and apologised, I am not an affectionate person and she wasn't the biggest fan of personal space, assuming she was my age (14 at the time) I got annoyed and ignored her, turns out she was a few years younger than me which made me feel even worse) if everyone was taught that mentality from a very young age the world would be a better place. That attitude saw my friendship circle grow with very interesting characters, but none remained lonely and most learnt to accept I was a crazy out there nut job who couldn't care less what anyone thought- truth be told I couldn't be happier, who would want to live in a box, conform to "popular" ideals and be the cause of someone else's loneliness to uphold an image you'll cringe at as you grow older and wiser? waiting for society to change won't work, changing society one person at a time will change the word.
@@Aussie-426you're a true mvp
I'm a millennial and i have treatment resistant major depressive disorder. I've been on many types of anti depressants including prozac throughout my life. In fact when I was at my lowest prozac was what kept me alive. I am off anti depressants and have been for a year and a half. I never take them for longer than I need to. It's like wearing a cast for a broken bone. You stop wearing it when your injury can do without it. This last time I can say that I was able to pull myself out of the depths of my depression because I realized I wasn't alone. I had people in my life that accepted me for who I am and my depression is a part of that. Sure i still have episodes of depression for no apparent reason, but after realizing that I have people who want me to be a part of their lives it made the voice of my depression quieter and it doesn't hold sway over my thoughts and feelings like it use to. Sometimes you need that crutch to get you up out of the dark hole you're in, but you can't be using that crutch forever. You have to grasp at that one thing that drives you that you would regret at the end of your life if you let it slip through your fingers and once you know what that is, that thing will drive you to seek help. It will drive you to want to stand back up and try again. That's all it takes. You gotta let your inner lost boys help you find your happy thought and you'll fly again.
Its normalized because much of our mental health is unfortunately tied to factors beyond our control. This is something seen amongst psychiatry fields as well. More and more people are developing these issues due to society at large becoming less and less accommodating towards people. Additionally, fewer and fewer opportunities to find success. How are we suppose to be happy in a world that gives us pennies but demands an arm and a leg for a doctor's visit? Its a rare case of our anxieties and depressive disorders being VALIDATED. Its an increasingly common occurrence that these situations arise due to consistent external pressures.
This is somewhat of a vent? However, I hugely appreciate you spotlighting this! Its a very interesting bit of information
"Distractions sometimes replace searching for the root cause of the suffering" This is so profound and something that I've been feeling deeply recently.
Thanks for your comments and perspective on this. We should be hearing more from the medical class such as yourself on a more frequent basis.
it's a large factor to consider
Today's society has replaced physical and mental connections with digital ones
@@TheEncouragementKidit's the only factor to consider. Find the cause of your depression and fix it. It goes away. Much better than taking meds for your depression
@@dimitrijekrstic7567 Sorry I can't overthrow the billionaire class or reverse climate change by sheer force of will
Depression is normal for Gen Z. We constantly made very public suicide jokes in school and I just now realize how wild it is in retrospect. It was just so commonly felt that it made more sense to assume someone to be depressed rather than healthy.
I'm a millenial. Graduated hs in 2012. The depression was there but god we didn't talk about it. With close friends maybe but it was still the quiet unsaid thing. It showed up in quiet places. The vodka hidden in the broken panel of the girls bathroom half empty, the bomb threats in what was later found to be a desperate attempt to get out of an AP test four times, nobody trusting the counseler after the nice one was arrested for-, angry students, tired students, failing students. I used to feel so unnerved by you guys making these jokes. You talk freely about what we couldn't. It's an uncomfortable generational timeline of denial->silence->whispers->morbid coping mechanisms->???? that needs to exist in order for us to get to a place where we actually get help.
@@iluvmochipolandn my school got away with a lot of shit. A lot of staff got caught/arrested, or fled over the years. High school counselor and junior high principal arrested for pedophilia, superintendent fled to Colorado after getting caught laundering money. Junior high math teacher I had, physically abused an autistic kid later on, went to the next town over to teach there. Since middle school, my district had about 28 bomb and shooting threats. Yes, I kept count.
I also got bullied a lot and once even got stabbed because everyone always kept pocket knives (even though it was against the rules, not that the school cared), and the school threatened to sue me and my parents when we tried to press charges on the students.
Then at one point a kid who picked on me a lot actually killed a kid with his friend. They were at some center for kids I guess? Not an orphanage or asylum, just some kind of place. I don't actually know what it did. But anyways, him and a friend fled with a younger kid, then joked about killing him, claiming "no one would find the body". Beat and strangled them until death, and then went back to the center. They bragged about their murder and ultimately got arrested. They thought it was funny during their court case. They were eventually given life in prison with no parole.
I feel like the school should've been partly to blame, they let kids do whatever, it was a free for all. I'm just glad I graduated with good grades, because I wanted to get away as soon as I could.
I think it's dumb how schools are like "oh this is a safe haven for kids, come to us because we care", but I can't think of a single example when a school district anywhere in the US actually did anything for anybody. Schools drove kids to suicide and didn't bat an eye, until after they suicided and suddenly they were like "oh we didn't know, we're sorry".
I got made fun of for being suicidal in hs in 2008. Being suicidal should not be this common. It’s so worrying and i know social media has a large part of it. I got better the more offline i got.
@@JackFoxtrotEDM Holy Shit I'm glad I never have to deal with that shit for a long time... hopefully I won't if I have to reincarnate either
@@JackFoxtrotEDM holy shit what kinda school did you go to, sounded like utter hell
I once cried, (I suppose because I thought I was doomed after so many years of trauma and suffering), when my therapist told me, "Being diagnosed with Depression, severe anxiety, OCD, PTSD, is simply a doctor going down a checklist of symptoms and you meeting a certain amount of the criteria on the list. But a diagnosis can change at any time. You are not your diagnosis, it's just a part of you and there are tools to help take control of your thoughts, actions, and life." And he was right.
something I realized reading through the comments too is that not even adults can offer help or reach out to younger people (teens/kids) anymore, online or in-person. Some of this is obviously warranted as we've increased our understanding of how many creepy weirdos there are out there, but we've also completely made it so someone in their 20's feels they can't send a "hey, I understand what you're going through and I'm here as a rando if you just need to vent anonymously or hear from someone who's been through it that it's going to be okay, YOU are going to be okay" to someone identifying as young. The last decade's OVER-emphasis for political reasons on child grooming or pedos means that anyone growing up in todays world can't talk to 90% of the population or be reached out to. When I was growing up I still had some of that connection possibility, and because I didn't really get my peers (I'm neurodivergent) I usually did find friendship or at least a comforting ear from adults who genuinely wanted to help and I felt like I understood more. So messed up things have come this far.
(that being said, if anyone reading this just needs to vent about something, feel free to send me a message if you feel comfortable. I promise to listen/read and share my own stories back if they seem helpful. Idk, I wish there was something more I could do to help, but even if you don't reach out, I hope knowing people do care and want to help is at least a little comforting)
As a Gen Z member, being lonely and depressed is just normal now. A lot of us have just kinda given up, not much we can really do. A lot of us are on large amounts of medication which don’t even work. A lot of us have medical problems but we can’t go to the hospital about it or don’t want to because of the cost. It’s sad.
Thank you for talking about this. It means a lot to finally be seen by someone.
Dam that is sad!
Exactly why we need God, but apparently that’s bad too. Of course people will slowly die.
What do you expect when things like community, purpose, national identity and cohesion have been destroyed and replaced with hedonism, individualism and money and material worship?
lol
it's funny to watch doctors prescribe useless shit though, I laugh at it :)
i think the pandemic hit a lot of gen z especially hard bc it occurred right when a bunch of us were supposed to be transitioning from teenagerhood to adulthood and it delayed a lot of those experiences and took away support groups. like i didn’t make any lasting friendships in college because we just didn’t see each other for a year and a half and then graduated and went separate ways. it’s really depressing when i think about it and i’ve always felt like loneliness is such a hard cycle to break out from because you feel so isolated and detached from everyone. i’m sure a lot of people had similar experiences.
I feel you I had a similar experience and I feel like it wrecked my college experience. Just remember though you have your whole life ahead of you, its a marathon not a race. Take your time there is so much more to life than college.
Same here, lost all my college friends, creating a support system for yourself, can be so hard depending from where you live, your income, your mental health, I think our generation is just missing so much help in that department. I'm 21 I don't have any semblance of a social life, it's quite sad.
I see your point but transitioning to adulthood isn't mere a process of one or two years. something that took me way too long to realize. I'd argue that it took me well into the mid 30s and btw: I still have contact to only three ppl from my old university even though I studied in normal times
I don't know if it was my rebellious side but when they told us to lock down and socially distance, my friends did the complete opposite.
I got out of college in 2014, and it was identical then. Just like after HS, without school in common, people go their separate ways.
I was deeply depressed for years (childhood abuse and trauma) and spiraled into becoming suicidal in my 20's. I sought help (quit drinking heavily, tried therapy, sought healthier friendships/ relationships). It pulled me back from the edge, but nothing really addressed the root of my depression. The Inner Engineering program by Sadhguru and Isha Foundation addressed it and more. In spite of everything, I have hope for the future, and I haven't been depressed since. No drugs, I don't even drink anymore. Not against it, just noticed that since re-engineering myself, my default state is better than any drink or pill. If you're ready to move beyond depression and the past, this works. Good luck
"The distractions sometimes replace the need to look for the root cause of the suffering."
Well said.
I'm 28 years old, and I feel an impending sense of doom everyday. That's what I would call it instead of loneliness. Loneliness is just a symptom of the unending perception that western civilization is in its downfall. I believe everyone about 30 and younger just inherently have this 6th sense.
Yes, also there is still good out there. It will find you.
eat balanced proteins leave sugar lower carbs loose weight move around
fix vitamin deficiencies
use active forms of B1 B12 b6 and complex
body can fix itself if it gets natural food without processing
it's not a rocket science
It's true, the end is near.
Western civilization decline is when uhhh, when brown people and tfw no gf…. very true….
👍🏻 correct diagnosis
You are most likely one of a minority of physicians able to discern these characteristics in patients and is willing to communicate those observations with viewers.
Good work.
I as a young person thinking too much, I find comfort that it is malignant side effect of our social evolution from animals, it is neither good nor bad that not everyone is in touch with eachother, we just seem to be caught up in this wirlwind of Globalisation, people moving here, there, without the internet, people would surely move closer together with people they know out of loneliness, hopefully we can work around this problem
He's a grifter monetising people's suffering
@@ver4135 that makes no sense, he’s the only person in the video, he can’t by definition be “monetizing on other people’s suffering”.
i cannot express my graditude for this guy
@@ver4135 If you see a fire in a crowded theater and shout "fire," are you trying to help people avoid injury, or just being a hero for the attention?
I was skeptical at first about what evidence you'd give regarding how loneliness "looks" under anesthesia, but this was very interesting. I'm a younger millennial in my early 30s, and I've seen so many of my friends inflicted with serious mental health issues and also dealing with loneliness. I've never had lots of friends, but I have a few close friends and family members, and I was blessed to marry a wonderful woman.
I had worked as a nurse through the first peaks of the pandemic but decided to go back to school and get a masters in public health/epidemiology. The first year went pretty well, but by the summer time, I had not secured a summer job or internship and had nothing to do all summer. For 4 months I just laid on my couch. I had no energy. I didn't feel sad, but just every little task felt impossible. Even playing video games felt too draining, so I just continued to lay there going between watching TV and looking at my phone. I put on probably 40 pounds during that time.
I finally reached a point where I realized I couldn't keep doing this and got help. I started on medication and going to a therapist. It is weird how much they push to get you on medication, but I did realize that I was dealing with some serious attention, working memory, processing speed, and executive function deficits. Currently, I'm on stimulant medication for ADHD, and it does seem to help. I definitely feel a lot better than I did during that summer even when I don't take my medication. I will say, one of the best things you can do for yourself (and it's easier said than done), remove yourself from as many social media apps as possible and consider getting some kind of minimalist phone. The phone I currently own is a flip phone that does everything a regular smart phone can, but it has a small screen so it kind of sucks trying to watch videos or looking at pictures -- exactly what I needed to quit wasting so much time on it.
So many of us are addicted to our phones. I recommend at least taking a break from all of these quick-dopamine releasers once in awhile. I just recently went on vacation to a national park where there was no internet/phone service. My wife and I camped for a few days. It's amazing how enjoyable just sitting around a campfire can be after a day of hiking and a good meal.
At 6:06 when he told the realization of “This individual…is suffering” it hit really hard
As a member of gen z who has been under anesthesia, I can confirm that I am lonely. Not the type of loneliness that I am not surrounded by people, but the kind of innate loneliness that eats you away from the inside.
Do you have an intimate relationship? Do you have a few close friends you can share your problems with? Do you have close connections with your family? And do you have any sort of community you feel welcomed by and respected in (career, church, neighborhood, hobby group, etc)? If the answer to all 4 of those is not yes, we feel lonely. If the answer to all 4 of those is no God help you. Please call someone who loves you today and talk to them about your life and future.
@@jordanneedscoffee my answer to all 4 is yes, im still lonely because its more complicated than 4 simple questions.
@@themagicman120yeah, it's not just a lack of connections, but emotional emptiness that you can't talk about
Girl, Jesus. Nothin’ but Jesus. That’s the void. You’re loved.
@@jordanneedscoffeewhat are you crazy? No one has intimate relationships anymore
I'm Gen Z and I never felt lonely, until I moved to the USA, so I guess its an American social issue more than a generational issue. Social media is definetly one of the reasons, people here also tend to be cold in certain ways, in my country it is so easy to make friends, but here it is not, you tell people if they wanna hang out and they look at you like "🤨 suure", it's like people in this country have been influenced by social media so much that they are forgetting how to socialize in reality....
I tried to explain this to an American (I'm half African half English and currently living in the uk) and they told me there's something wrong with me for thinking like this. They said it's because I have too much so I fetishise other countries.
😂
I think it's the effects of capitalism, our model is now slowly dying so we're falling with it. The years of the American dream are gone forever 🤷
Me too but I moved to U.K.! Never felt more lonely in my life..people here just seem so superficial
Social media, not the country in my opinion is the reason. I’m an American and I don’t feel lonely, far from it. I get out with my friends and have many social support, like church.
@@DanaeLirael - you're experiencing culture shock. Welcome to the realisation that different cultures are actually different in starkly unsettling ways.
As a brit myself, i'm interested to know what feels superficial to you as it's just normal to me.
Look very closely at society. When do these people get out and talk to people? When are they able to openly communcate with the local community? Most of the people I meet don't have access to anything that resembles the community and healthy activities. People are just trying to make it through unhealthy times. I don't think there is a solution at this point.
Thank you for all you are sharing. I am doing surgery soon (Sep. 26th) and was able to prepare and speak more intelligently to those who are putting me down with anesthesia because I learned from you what to tell them. I am going to go in with no fear and grateful to fix my in-turned eye that I have lived with for 8 years. I am doing the surgery at Stanford. Thanks again for your insights.
Honestly, I had a horrible anxiety disorder but no depression. The docs kept telling me I was depressed. The only thing I was sad about was the panic attacks. They pushed meds I didnt need but anything to stop the panic attacks. Ff 23 years and I'm still on them because I get severely depressed when I try and go off of them. They shortened my lifespan and ruined my mental and physical health.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope your life only gets better from now on ❤
That's exactly what happened to me about 10-15yrs ago. They could not accept I didn't have GAD, and social anxiety disorder without depression! Finally, the tide hath turned and yet...
Same. Why aren't there any meds for anxiety yet?! (i know there are, but like benzos which are highly addictive)
Why did you take them then?
Same here. Started as general anxiety due to my heart condition and palpitations I was feeling at age 23. My mom and grandmother both had anxiety too. Then they had to change it to Xanax and I have been on it 19 years from Panic attack disorder, but I am not depressed either. I get nervous and worked up too easy. My doctor said my fight or flight response is high. I tried to get off this twice..then the panic begins again.
As a gen z, I can confirm a lot of us are lonely. Very little connection to my family, no love, and I have like 3 friends, the only friends I trusted are gone.
Oooooooooooooof sad
Try to find yourself own or two of those real serious friends, best of luck to you.
having three friends is pretty good dude. thats not bad.
Same here, but i have only 2
@@areyoutheregoditsmedave yeah, but they're the type you need to keep your eyes on. I'm still not 100% sure if they're not a theft or snitching hazard.
I have made several really reliable friends in the past, but without fail, they always end up moving away. Either to get away from family, take a job opportunity, or join the damn Marines. 😭
i genuinely believe most people just werent taught how to properly 'socialize'. one of my good friends had a pretty shitty house as a youngster, but around 11 his dad took him in.
Wonderful, except he told me "i didnt know how to be a person". I think most Gen Z werent really taught how to make friends, how to START a conversation, etc.
So theyre left to fill in the blanks which makes em feel stupid and bad at everything they do, when really they just need to relax a little more, cuz they werenever taught how shit works.
(ex; taxes, romance, STYLE is a big one, how to meet and sustain friends)
Dr. Kaveh, thank you a lot. I'm 20 years old gen Z and I always had problems with my sleep schedule, loneliness and anxiety, but I never connected it with my distraction methods before. After watching this video, I noticed that I also scroll through internet or eat sweets or draw something when I'm anxious instead of trying to find the reasons for my anxiety and solve the problem. That's really a new discovery for me, now I understand more about my behavior. I wish more people will see this video
GEN Z is subject to a lot of competition for education opportunities,
Jobs, and even opportunities for their children. These social challenges do not lead to a sense of community and friendships but to paranoia and anger of others. This does isolate you.
respect for what gen Z goes through
I'm a "geriatric" millennial and think Gen Z is going to revolutionize our system in ways Gen X and Millennials have been unable to. They have the right idea on work/life balance and refuse to break under Boomer demands. They have a lot of great ideas, but all of us are lonely. Parenthood in America is lonely, they are just the best at pointing it out.
@@jenerin905 Loneliness is a state of mind
@@jenerin905 My only concern is that pointing it out only goes so far. Many among gen Z just cry about their problems online and only a select few actually have ideas about how to flip the system on its head. Additionally, many from gen Z are insecure and have a superficial view on the world because those willing to be superficial thrive better socially... I hope we are able to cause change, but I just see so many from Gen Z absolutely mentally destroyed before even entering adulthood.
@bob sacamano loneliness is a cascade of chemicals that happen in the body because a pack animal being separated from the pack never ends well
Millennial here (1992). I graduated high-school in 2010. At the time, people just didn’t understand why kids my age couldn’t find jobs and had so many mental health struggles. I’m starting to see this flip and now people finally are starting to get it.
Edit: only took multiple recessions, a global health pandemic, and the world being literally on fire
exact same age, graduated same year. you also have to admit the world was SO much different when we were 20, its actually crazy. They were happy times.
@@melgibbs1458 yeah, i thought it was bad then. little did I know it was just an appetizer lol
Millennial 1991 here. We got screwed by the boomers too but at least we grew up without the pressures of social media and less of the feeling that you need to be performative for your peers. Social media can really mess up people's psyches.
I feel so bad for Gen Z. They have it worse than any generation before them.
I do roll my eyes at some of their music though lol but I'm sure the feeling is mutual
Y'all are all correct 88 millennial here.
Millennial (1988) I'm a 35 yo single guy and still have to live with my parents because my job doesn't pay enough for me to afford an apartment in an area where my wheels won't get stolen. Life is a huge disappointment.
You are so well-spoken and interesting to listen to. Thank you for this informative video!
Love the propofol in hand for the whole live. Cheers from LT
Doctors who are aware of, and are concerned about the root cause of pathologies, are what the world needs more of.
Most doctors have that attitude. It's just that most have a hard timing coming up with the right answers.
@@frozenpizza5242 You've encountered all those problems? Man, you have the worst luck, since most doctors actually do care for their patients. I'm sorry you keep running into the bad ones.
@@SonGoku-tp8gb Never met one that wasn't more interested in selling pills. I think YOU just got lucky.
The issue is that they are DOCTORS, therefore they practice science, therefore most of the human population of earth immediately discards their opinion in favor of the opinion of the god of their choice (right up until they show up in the ED with an ailment their god can’t help them with). So it goes…
Yes but big pharma doesnt want that
Makes me think of two good quotes that are related…
“It takes a village to raise a child”
and
“A child neglected by the village will burn it down to feel it’s warmth”
that’s a powerful quote damn
@@ariesfairy4444 for sure, simple but powerful… and the older I get the more true they both seem.
"The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people," was on the walls of my doctor's office growing up.
So accurate.
@@TribusCaputCanis that’s a REALLY good one I’ve never heard! Thanks for sharing, your Dr seems like a badass.
The amount of comments making this about changes individuals should make when it's clearly a systemic and structural issue makes me shake my head. There is literally so many different reasons why we don't socialize enough and the Internet is not the majority of them, the cause of most of them is a world run by a rich minority wanting more money and making it quite literally harder for people to have energy after work, have third places to meet in and have good interpersonal expectations (that last one is definitely impacted by the internet admittedly).
Even if you put your phone and the news down it would be likely that Gen Z would develop higher rates of depression because even without a smartphone in your hand at all times the world has become hyperindividualist and big goals have become next to unachievable for most (buying a house, in this economy?). Either way we'd know there is a genocide going on in the world and it would hopefully either way make us feel things.
So yes, a certain amount of loneliness and depression should almost be a normal response to our current world even if you don't use your phone all day. If you're well-adjusted in a sick society, you're the sick one. However, letting the depression get you to the point of not doing anything in favor of change is also not good. Most people I know are depressed to a degree by all of this stuff, but they are still sane enough to talk about it and push for change in their own little way. Doesn't matter if that means searching for alternative therapy options or organizing in their industry.
People need to stop thinking mental illness is an individual thing, it's not. It's always been connected to how society and other systems a person is in are doing and currently we are living in a dystopia for majority of the world population, even in richer countries. So, especially @ the pinned comment: No, I don't know a single Gen Z with a mental health issue that has it from it being an "online trend" (there is no online trend, people simply have issues and started to not hide them and people pretending to be mentally ill have an issue of psychological nature as well for pretending). Can we as a collective stop oversimplifying mental health just to get a couple likes in a comment section ffs?
This video needs to get out there, thanks for making it!
As a gen Z. 21 years old going on 22. I feel so done with life. I just sleep alot to let time pass faster. The loneliness and depression is heavy. The most fun I have is probably going to buy groceries.
In feel the part with the groceries so much. Also when I buy a vase of a candle or something for decor. I think those are the only times I feel dopamine or something, I changed from one trip a week to several small so I have something that pulls me outside my flat.
I really wonder what mental state you are in, that groceries is the only sort of fun you can have
When you are depressed it’s hard to get yourself to think of new things to do which might bring you happiness, let alone try them. If you are lonely but you would rather stay in bed than go out and socialise, you can start by getting active on Twitter and following people who say things you agree with or who share your interests. Reply to their tweets, if they like them you will get a hit of dopamine. I moved to a new town and had no friends or acquaintances so I got a job at a petrol station just so I could meet a wide range of people and get to know some of them over time. I made new friends, some were co-workers and others just regular customers. Talk to strangers like you know them well, they will often do the same back, it will help you feel less lonely. Good luck!
It’s so sad that the God who sent his only son to die for us and free us from every bondage has been replaced by the modern humanistic juggernaut. Don’t feel hopeless, this is the perfect place to be to receive the life changer!
@Jeweled Skeleton Have been there for a while, its fucking awful lol
I went to a psychiatrist, never having been on an SSRI before and was told “well, you’re probably going to need whatever we choose forever so let’s just start working through the main ones until we find one that works for you” 👀
Our medical system is built on continuous profit. If somebody thinks they can live without medication, that’s money lost and simply not an option… really miffed with the way we’ve commodified the human body.
YEP. The psychiatric industry needs a massive recall of how they do business and manufacture drugs. It's a revolving door and they don't even know what the drugs are doing to the patients nor do they care. They see everybody as having the same state in life and ignore any bad reactions to what they're prescribing. I'm sure there are good ones, but I've come across way too many bad ones and the methodologies are what make this industry terrible. The numbers don't lie: depression and suciide rates are the highest they've ever been in neart history.
"Chemical imbalance" is total BS. It isn't measurable. They don't do any sort of baseline workups.
you know what miffs me? People like this doctor who pretend as if money isn't the problem, gen z has nothing work is life for them sitting on that chair is stressing them out because they can't afford to live in the bay area!
psychiatrists being psychiatrists...
I was on SSRI for like 3 months and then I quit it myself. Everything came back but at the back of my mind I knew something was wrong and that it can be better. I think introspection helped me a lot. I wonder if a lot of people have done this, because maybe past generations did have all the issues but they just naturally got over it? Like an aching joint heals... Or at least you find a non-medical way to reduce the pain. But these days, the culture is just all about being reliant on something and giving excuses. I don't think this generation is any more sick than anyone before, I think its just the first generation to draw attention to it and have conscious knowledge about their issues. So since everyone speaks about mental health instead of scarcity of water and grain, we are mis-led.
I’m definitely subscribing after this PERFECT video, you’re perfect Dr. Kaveh!
Doctor, YOU ARE AWESOME! Your channel is helpful to patients, patient’s families and OF COURSE - OR staff. As a circulator many of the videos you provide are great refresher for me, especially when the OR team are under pressure and time constraints. THANK YOU!!! 🙂
With how hard it is to even support yourself, I can see why loneliness is widespread.
Fr in this economy. Im 19 living alone fresh outta high school, gas and groceries are out the wazoo and housing don't even get me started😤😤
When people are worried about maintaining basic necessities it's hard for them to relax and enjoy life. Who cares about going to the beach or watching the sunset when you have a surprise medical bill you need to pay or the car repair bill that was unexpected and more than you budgeted for.
What do you expect when things like community, purpose, national identity and cohesion have been destroyed and replaced with hedonism, individualism and money and material worship?
I fell in love with a Gen Z young man (I'm older). He would confide in me right away about his (serious) struggles and I would try to empathize and nurture him the best I could. When his issues got bigger he left because he was scared to be a poison for me. I would chase him and tell him all the good I think of him and how I can be a support, not fix his issues but just be there by his side and take care of him and that I know he has a lot to give too and could give to me later when he'll get better. At first he wanted to see me again but he finally ghosted me. These people don't even believe someone can be there and not abandon them because they've lived abandonment and neglect in many ways for all their short lives, so now what they need and desire the most : love with someone who sticks by their side is also what they're scared of the most because if they dive in and it fails again they feel they will die. So they run away both from suffering and happiness. That's a tragedy.
I'm sorry they ran from you, but I'm very grateful you've kept an open mind and understood where he was coming from. I understand his perspective, I have done this exact same thing. I just wasn't capable of meeting the bar I wanted to for them. It didn't have anything to do with who they were or how they treated me. But, all to do with the lack of how I could treat myself and feel comfortable feeling the way I did about things. I had to take a step back from that relationship, but thankfully they are very understanding, and we are each other's best friends to this day.
But it is hard. At the end of it, we don't want to drag someone down to our level. We appreciate everything they have tried to do for us, but we ultimately realize there is still work that we have to do on ourselves that can't be discovered in the presence of others sometimes
That makes me so sad, i can relate to him. I hope i dont waste my opportunities to love people.
Yep. My husband who’s 43 was the same way. It’s called the avoidant style of attachment.
Even after 12 years of marriage (16 years together) he was STILL afraid I was going to leave. He nearly self-sabotaged our marriage.
I stayed to work on our marriage bc we had a one year old son. I had to at least try to make it work. He realized even though he had done everything to mess it up, that I was still trying to make it work bc I loved both him and our son. He finally learned to let go of his fear and anxiety. He realized there was someone crazy enough to love him who would never leave lol.
We’re on 17 years married, 21 years together now.
It was really brutal for me for many many years. But I’m super glad I stayed and super glad he realized I wasn’t going anywhere. It’s really hard to try and prove to these individuals that you actually really really love them and that you won’t leave. I had to work really hard on forgiving him and getting over some serious ptsd to make it work too. I’m Christian and I believe in forgiveness and second chances. I’m also adamantly against divorce so I was going to do everything in my ability to try to make it work. If there was a chance he wanted to try then I was going to keep trying.
I’m so glad I did bc we’re here on the other side together as a team. I’m often glad we went through it bc we’re so much stronger together now than we ever were before. I am very grateful it worked out.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you and your partner. Sometimes you have to be the most stubborn person on the planet to get through to someone who has a very serious avoidant attachment style. Everyone thought I was crazy for staying. But if it didn’t work out, I wanted to be able to look at my son in the face and tell him with complete honesty that I did everything possible to make it work. I wasn’t focused on the outcome but focused on doing my absolute best to make it work.
If he’s the one for you, you might want to try again. There’s only so many ppl in this world where you feel totally connected to them. Don’t feel like you totally have to give up. Some things are really worth trying for.
You're a kind person. Thank you for showing that man compassion, it may stick with him forever. I am sorry it does not worked out the way you wished for.
I'm in the boat. Don't even believe love is real anymore. And if anyone did what you did I'd be skeptical and paranoid that they just want something or I'm being punked for a skit.
I have Cystic Fibrosis so I’m very familiar with being in hospitals and having procedures done. I’m really grateful that my mom would have me get off my phone when a doctor came into the room. Her reasons were mostly about not being rude to the doctors but she also wanted me to be aware of what was happening with my care. She was a great mentor in teaching me how to advocate for myself and ask questions and be present during my appointments. I’m 24 now and I’m completely comfortable going to all my doctors appointments alone because the fear was squashed out years ago! Distractions during times of distress can ge helpful. But if someone important is happening during that distress, facing it and being uncomfortable for a minute is key to coming out on top
I love that such an intelligent and busy man would take the time to make this video, thank you, Doc!!
I was a senior last year when I got my wisdom teeth taken out, while under anesthesia I was told I was very emotional and sobbing because none of the hallucinations I was seeing wanted to stay with me. I kept saying "no one wants to be around me" the entire time.
That's so heart wrenching. I'm so sorry. I wish I could hug you. Hang in there, try to be the person you need for others, try to meet new people. Just hang in there, it'll make more sense eventually.
😂
@@vacafuega 😂
On another side of this: Why are members of Gen Z getting general anesthesia for a minor surgery like wisdom teeth removal? I had some removed with only local.
@@paolo3349 as someone who got sedated for my procedure; its scary lol
I went under for foot surgery about 5 years ago when I was about 55 years old. All I remember was when I woke up I felt so incredibly rested. I asked to speak to the anesthesiologist so I could tell him how I hadn't slept that well in decades.
Did you try walking? Walking around a track a for an hour or so helps me to sleep well.
@@riproar11 what? Obviously, they felt rested, because their brain was asleep, not alert.
@@underated17 Most people who resort to foot surgery, do so because they can't walk. I know I'm just recovering from foot surgery a week ago. I've had less pain in my foot this last week than I have for the last several years. I'm looking forward to being able to walk again.
@@riproar11 YOU KNOW THAT A STUPID QUESTION IDIOT: SHE KNEW SHE WAS ASLEEP,, THAT WHY SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO TELL THEM SHE HAVENT RESTED THAT GOOD IN DECADES,,,, WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT AGE 55 DISRESPECTFUL
Me too! Best sleep ever!
As a nurse working with anesthesia team and administration of sedation it’s refreshingly helpful to listen to the results of anesthesia
Ah I feel so called out haha. Yes, it's true, our brains are definitely rewired due to our depression. It's sweet to hear someone call it our suffering rather than laziness or patheticness.
I am a 71 year old female. I have been a widow for 16 years and live alone. I love living alone but sometimes want to have someone's company for an hour or so. That is enough and I go home. I am a happy person. I have had much heartache in my life but am happy. Rather than desire things desire happiness. Be grateful and be happy. Have faith in something bigger than yourself. Do not use artificial means to be happy. If you do not sleep well today you will catch in a day or two. I always did. For me that is God and His Son Jesus. For another it may be something different. Gen Z has too much technology and fantasy. Love the world. Be grounded. I hope my words are of some comfort and help to someone.
Thank you for sharing that wisdom, I'm sure many others will benefit 🙏
How can we love the world when it is so broken or believe in a god when there are very little valid reason to believe He exists..if any..all due respect but the world is is lonely and I've lost too many people..and thst doesn't offer much comfort to many unfortunately..fine if does for you. It let's face it it doesn't for a lot of ppl
@@leif1075 then you haven't found Him. That loneliness is the homing device for heaven. The world is the way it is because God gave us the freedom to choose. We makes choices that bring us peace and happiness or choices that bring us pain and despair. The choices others make can bring us pain also. I wish you well. Namaste
I applaud you bc I am a 68 year old woman, who is also a Christian. I love my “me” time, BUT I don’t want to be lonely. There is a difference between being alone and lonely. I’ve learned through life that happiness is a temporary feeling and joy is inward peace. I find joy in giving my time to others, spending time with my family and helping others who are less fortunate than me. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy too at times, but it’s not a lasting feeling which is fine, but having joy is my true sentiment and I find joy bc of my relationship with God, He gives me that joy, He gives me grace, He gives me mercy and for all those, I am eternally grateful to Him. Thank you for sharing your story too, and may God Bless you 🙏🏻❤️
@@reppi8742 All due respect that is just the standard glib argument. If God existed and really cared, He or She wouldn't let good innocent ppl suffer, not even for the punishment of the few bad ppl..don't you see and agree agree that?? Hiw cna you still believe when God dint save children from death or innocents from dying from hurricanes or tsunamis or the coronaviris or other natural disasters?
Born in 2001. I think extreme individualism and lack of community is going to kill us, slow or fast. Most of my friends started using weed or nic at ages 10-14. I smoked weed for the first time at 16. I’m a stoner now, for chronic pain and mental health reasons. Been sober from alcohol since 17. Most of my friends are either sober because of alcohol abuse in high school, or stoners. I am, among many peers, attached to my phone the way someone should be attached to another person. It isn’t good, no one is proud of it, but it’s all that is there when we’re scared and need connection. Shame is around every turn- that we brought this on ourselves, that we’re like this because we’re lazy degenerates, that if we didnt want to be dependent we shouldn’t have done it. But so many underlying stressors are systematic. You just can’t ask these kids to get off their damn phones and be excited about the scarce resources in front of them, and the burning future ahead. Thank you for this video- I really really appreciate how open and compassionate you are on this subject. No kid wants to grow up to be glued to their phone. Thank you for having more faith in us than that.
I think that desire to be on your own stems from all the overwhelming pressure from peers to be politically correct. Each half of society is desperately trying to demonize the other half, everyone is so ready to shame people for idle comments, etc. If it was reasonable to socialize without fear of backlash, or if a broader spectrum of opinions were considered acceptable, maybe people would do it more. These days, even a dark joke (which is a coping mechanism for some) can get someone ostracized. Sometimes with people they didn't tell the joke to.
Everyone has negatives, and no one is accommodating or understanding anymore. If you aren't toeing the line, if you aren't a 100% perfect fit, you're at best a nobody, and at worst the enemy.
So people just choose to distance themselves from that outcome, by staying quiet, keeping to themselves, never bonding. And the hookup culture also ruins people's appeal over time. Next thing you know, everyone's lonely.
This culture war is to blame.
The best thing for me has been Fasting.
Fasting from phones and fasting from food, weed etc.
I went 5 years without a phone until just a few weeks ago. Now, I literally wonder why I got it as I never even use it. But wanted it incase my boat/truck broken down and things like that. This made a HUGE improvement alone, the fact that I literally dropped out of social media and will NEVER go back unless its for business reasons. What it feels like to not have a phone is, free.
We do juice fasts of only drinking juice for numbers of days or weeks. Mind blowing. Very testing. Indescribable.
Im 1989, but trust me very relatable. You have time, your very young to already be aware of it. The fact that your aware of it now is priceless, wish I had been at that age! Took me till age 28 until the depression drove me to rock bottom. Now 6years later im STILL trying to climb out of it.
You got time, but the sooner the better! Only YOU know whats right for you!
And sadly they're finding more research that chronic marijuana use can cause chronic gastrointestinal issues now in some people :/
The shaming comes from America’s unhealthy obsession with rugged individualism which is also behind the loneliness epidemic and city designs (suburbs) that isolate us. Economic anxiety is affecting every generation, it’s causing mental illness and extremism because people are desperate.
For comparison, I was born more than 20 years before you, and all of my friends, across several friend groups, were at a minimum occasionally smoking cigarettes and/or weed, as well as drinking by the age of 12, and more than half of my friends had tried most drugs- from psychedelics to cocaine, opium, meth, etc by the time they were 16.
I only smoked a little weed, so I mostly watched people experiment and usually have a pretty good time.
Once I reached college, I found that this was very common with most of the people that I met.
Some of those people are now dead, some have hard lives and some of those people are lawyers and pharmacists and have doctorates.
The people with family trauma faired the worst… and the people with parents who gave them financial support tended to fair much better in the long term.
Thank you. I have learned so much from your videos keep them coming.
Thank you so much Dr. for bringing to light the depression and over-medication epidemic of upcoming generations. I'm an anxious mess of a millennial and it still makes me sad to see how boxed in Gen Z is
As someone who is a gen z who is currently in college another thing I’ve noticed that may contribute to the depression a lot of people are experiencing is that currently going to college and taking these classes is quite depressing (this may not be the case everywhere but it’s something I’ve noticed in my school specifically) the classes, especially ecology and forestry classes, a lot of times talk about how horrible the world is and the climate crisis and it’s very bleak to experience since we’re all starting our lives in the real world and are constantly being told the world is dying and being told that hypothetically it can be salvaged but it requires a Herculean effort from a vast majority of countries and people working together to fix. These are just some things I’ve noticed but feel free to disagree.
Fr same it's like they are putting the weight of the world on our shoulders and scorn us when it slows our pace even a little
It’s about outlook. We had the same issues in college about how things were going down the pan and how politics were destroying the fabric of society. However you can look at it with the view “how can we improve the situation ?”. Plant more trees, try and get better environmental laws, promote cleaner living, promote healthier habits, better urban planning, etc. You have the power to change things as long as you band together and look at the positives. Don’t let the negative people drag you down. They are cowards!!
Carbon zero. Don't forget, every human exhales about 8 tons of CO2 per year.....
Read several books on each side of the issue and make your own decisions about the severity of climate change and what needs to be done. This is a good practice where any ossie is concerned. Be brave enough and open enough to look at both sides, cut through the hype on both sides, try to arrive at the truth. Often it is somewhere in between the extremes. Learn critical thinking and question what people tell you on all sides.
Yup, and then we're presented with the fact that we alone can't do anything to stop it.
And now we can see how ignorant and stupid people are when this stuff is brought up.
The economy is failing the youth, governments are complete (if you'll forgive my language) shit and global warming still isn't being properly addressed.
Distractions keep away from finding out the root of a problem... this one sentence describes SO MUCH from todays world. Well said.
I mostly agree with this, there's just a bit I'd like to add.
While distractions sometimes hinder finding the root of the problem, sometimes if you know the root problem but are unable to do anything about it due to situations out of your control; distractions might be the only way to make it through until there's something you CAN do about the problem.
Yes, and distractions keep people away from processing their feelings and emotions. Sometimes the issue is not about finding the purported "root" of this or that problem, but rather, that there are emotions, somewhere inside, that have remained unprocessed. Distractions serve to make those unprocessed emotions virtually unreachable
@@alexiskitt6989that’s a more unusual circumstance. 99.9% distractions serve to escape uncomfortable feelings.
I know the root of the problem. No one cares. If you tell them they literally hate you for it. So what can you do?
@@CD-vb9fi If your "root cause" is anything other than the fact that corporations have destroyed our ability to have a social life for profit, that corporations have invaded our government and ruined our shot at a future, then you're fucking wrong.
This was great Doc! Thanks for sharing
Good observations and insight - Thank you.
I’m 61, and have suffered from depression most of my life. I have been alone for going on 15 years and have never been this lonely in my life. It’s an epidemic in the US. It sucks. 🙏🏼☮️🕊
Have you tried volunteering anywhere? It's a good way to meet people and feel better while also making a difference for others
🥲 Be well🤍
🫂
Even just a comment can bring people closer together, I hope you have a wonderful day and never give up! Keep being you
30, same... I barely go outside anymore. My uncle in his 60's recently reached out to me and admitted the same. He's usually very quiet so I was shocked, and delighted to hear from him. We've been texting a lot more and it's been nice. I hope you have something like this in your life my friend.
The hardest part of being alone when you are younger is that it doesn’t feel like you don’t have anyone it feels like nobody has you. It’s something you can feel and when we’re young that’s such a strong feeling
the hardest part of being alone is moving a fridge.
@@JunkBondTraderdon't even get me started on pianos
Yeah. You put it in a way that's different, but relatable. Being lonely like this, it's almost like you don't exist at some point. People all around do, but you don't. They have people and people have them.
But for you, people miss you more than you miss them.
That's a terribly sad feeling.
I don't know if I'm making sense.
@@ksh2596 you and this comment are making complete sense and it actually made me realise how i felt recently so thankyou :) and i 100% agree its a detrimental feeling and it really hurts n affects you
I was really a lonely kid a few years back, and even suicidal at a young age, I'm doing better now but it just hurts my heart seeing other kids who are younger than me go through depression and feeling so alone and helpless, not knowing how to properly take care of yourself is just the worse 😕
As an older Gen Zer (1999), I feel like the cause and effect is backwards. I know Im lonely. I know I'm stressed. I am in a situation where I cant do anything about it, there is no long term solution with the way society is currently set up. Of course you reach for the things that make you feel better when the actual solution to the problem is unsolvable. And atleast for myself, I would much rather actually fix the problems we have than have to figure out how to live around them.
Wow, very interesting and informative! Thank you!
As a Psychiatrist, in practice for more than 30 years, I agree. I am SO HAPPY to see you bring all this information to the forefront.
How can he contribute use of Prozac or speech patterns to loneliness? There are too many confounding variables to determine a causality. That is unless he knows of some research I don't. I didn't hear him state a source.
@@sandollor He is the source. He studied it and he is the medical proffessional.
Are you too?
@@TheImmilky He noticed it, he did not "study" it. It's a really big difference. In casual observation there are no objective measurement/operationalization and standardization. Observations from experts can be powerful inspiration for peer reviewed research studies, but still are prone to individual-level observation/ perception/ decision making errors and biases and should not be equated with scientific facts.
I am a baby boomer 2 recent surgeries. Recent widow. All these factors/ sufferings shared among many generations. Jeanne (retired RN)
@@wendyvg1225 I'm glad to see someone with knowledge. This is right, observation by an expert/authority, etc. is not at all the same as scientific research or peer reviews. Stop using and supporting authority bias! Which is unnecessary applied in the comment before.
When I came out of anesthesia, as soon as I could talk again the first thing I said was "mom I'm sad" and burst into tears. I had moved away to another state for a few years and things in my life were chaotic and hard, hadn't really told anyone because I didn't want to appear as if I failed so I held it in for 4 years, it all spilled out as soon as my mom said "you ok honey?" when she came to pick me up 😅
I moved from where i lived my entire life and its so friggin hard, from a temperate verdant rainforest to a friggin dessert my body is protesting the change even 4 years later.
@@megan8932I feel this...
...particularly in my dry skin 😂
How special.
aww thank you for sharing!
I feel this, got my wisdom teeth removed and on the drive home I just cried super hard, the hardest I’ve ever cried in years. This was right in the middle of the pandemic and it was my after my first year in college.
thanks for this video it was very insightful
This was extremely informative - thank you for sharing
My pleasure!
A few years ago as a teen, I underwent some pretty gnarly spinal surgery. When I was about to undergo anesthesia, the sterility of the place, the coldness of the anesthetic itself in my arm, and the fact that I didn't know what to expect made me get a little emotional. The anesthesiologist asked my mum to come over and hold my hand, but for some reason she refused. Not that it mattered, as a few moments later I was out. After the surgery, I was half-concious for what I was told was about an hour, but I remember a few minutes lying there specifically asking not to see my parents. The nurse took my request seriously, and when I finally woke up, I asked why they weren't here. All round a bizarre and stressful experience, but I do wonder why things happened this way.
that happened because right before youwent unconsiuos you heard your mother deny your fear and anxiety. i am struck with an inability to understand why she would not want to comfort you? i am so sorry that happened. Maybe you and your mom are past due for a sit down, bonding conversation. i dont know your story, and im not asking, or trying to pry. You should def. talk with your mom though.
Mum refused to hold your hand? Hello 🚩🚩🚩
@@crescendo2441 More than likely due to either a misunderstanding, ie her thinking the doctors are simply asking if she'd like to come over, not that the kid requested it and not wanting to potentially get in the doctors way or some phobia of surgery or anxiety about it immobilizing her. Unless the parent has issues outside of this incident that is. Also sometimes in the heat of the moment people behave strangely, I agree talking about it would be best.
@@senoraankhi5980
Maybe some phobia?
I know that it can get pretty serious for some.
@@lightskitty sounds like an excuse
As a 15 year old, I only have one person close to my age that I consider my friend. It's very difficult to make friends with others my age because of how consumed other people my age are with social media. It's hard to find anyone with a real personallity that wasn't formed through the people they watch and the content they consume. I can't find anyone who feels real; is comfortable with having vulerable and transparent conversations. I'm also constantly scared about what I say to different people regarding political and spiritual topics because everyone (seems) so sensitive about what they believe in that I might ruin what relationship I might have with whoever I'm talking to. I want to make friends but it's as if I have to morph my character and personallity to the person I'm talking to in order to become their friend. It's all fabricated and fake, it never feels good, I'm a different person when around my family than I am around people, say, online. It feels as though I'm being dishonest to both sides, and it makes it difficult to discover who I actually am, instead of who I choose to be infront of those around me.
Yes, its like that for me too. I have Autism on top of that so It's even harder to make friends. I recently deleted all social media (tiktok, insta, discord....etc.) and it opened my eyes towards how obsessive and consumed we are with it. It's been 3 months since I deleted, and I am never going back. I wish people could recognize their problems with social media and maybe even try the same thing I did. Also, coincidentally or not, my mental health started to get a lot better after removing that aspect from my life. Especially after deleting Tiktok, that app messes with people's brains and attention spans, i hate it.
Sorry if my way of speaking sounds weird or If I made grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language.
I feel the exact same. Just wish I could bin my phone sometimes but it’s so useful for so many things (alarms, calendar, school timetable, making plans with friends/family etc).
Damn, I wasn't near as reflective when I was your age I think. As somebody who isn't from the US, but lives in Europe where many societal ideas arrive like ~5 years later, I can see some of the things arrive that I'm not happy with. It's ideas like this absolute obsessiveness with race instead of seeing individual people for who they are, this dismissiveness of anything scientific for the sake of sth. that fits into your world view despite having no evidence at all and this "patrionism"/hate against anything foreign.
I'm over 30 now and I can tell you it was much different 10 years ago. I always saw some of those "crazy obsessive American" on reddit and thought "this could never happen to us!" and now we have the same problems, albeit to a smaller scale because most of our states have more of a priority towards individuals instead of companies.
Still, there's voices of reasons no matter where you are. Seek those people out if you can, stay in contact with them when possible. You'll need these isles of sanity in times like these.
Change if you're faced with new evidence that makes you change views, not because you think people will like you more because of it. To them, these connections might even feel real. To you, they never will. Never. And yes, sometimes you just have to go along with the bs somebody might say, be it customers, teachers, collegues, parents... but just stay quiet in this case, nod and remember: It's hard to convince somebody who's smart, it's impossible to convince an idiot.
Wow, this comment hit hard to see. It's hard for me to be honest with people too, especially considering those kinds of sensitive topics. I've gotten way too used to saying nothing or being indifferent about it, and it's hard to go back. I don't know if I ever will. It hurts the most since I feel this way with my own family and I don't think they'll ever understand.
I kind of have an opposite experience, that being that the Internet and social media opened me up to some really great people. I wish it was safe to be completely open over the internet, I'd love to really get to know those people outside of the few topics the server welcomes.
But it's not likely to happen, sadly. I'm fine as-is though. It's nice knowing that there are ways of talking to people with similar interests, and I don't think I can ask for much more.
shit this is what ive been feeling for so long haha
I really enjoyed this video. Insightful
As someone clinically diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and anxiety, who has been going to therapy for 5 years I accept and understand that they are apart of me and truly always have been. It's not going to be possible to get rid of suicidal thoughts that have been present since I was a pre-teen as they grew with me and I thought them normal. But what I can do is work to accept my depression and myself and my depression has gotten a ton better than 5 years ago but I have never considered the thought of being "cured" because I don't know what cured means. I don't know what it means to not degrade and hate yourself or constantly worry about random shit or have random suicidal thoughts that vary in intensity because I can't remember a time when I was like that. To me a good therapist is almost better than medication which is why I still see one because it still helps and I still see improvement when I go consistently and regress when I don't go consistently. But hey progress not perfection
as a gen z kid, i feel like medication is shoved in our faces saying that there’s something wrong with us. Even if there’s not.
Medications are used so you can remain in situations that you should get out of.
Yeah, I see your point of view, both of you, but at the same time there's a certain standard we all are supposed to live up to to *survive* under capitalism.
Even beyond that medication can help us with things that we don't want to struggle with.
Connected but a bit different to, I have been trying to get ADHD meds because it affects me not only when I'm trying to be productive. I can't take care of myself and my living space properly because even if I manage to start despite the executive dysfunction, I'll probably gt distracted and forget about what I was doing. Habits are difficult not because they're so hard to form, but because if I forget once, that's it, the habit is gone.
I am constantly under-stimulated and it genuinely drains the joy out of things I enjoy. I can't for example play the videogames I want to play because the understimulation will become too much and for every 10 minutes of gaming, I'll have another 10 of pacing around my room, because I literally can not focus or sit still, and just trying to suppress that terrible understimulation feeling. I don't only want to be productive, I want to be able to enjoy the things I like instead of anxiously flipping between tasks in desperate attempts to not crawl out of my skin.
And don't get me started on depression. Depressive episodes fuckin suck. Even when I'm not in one I'm often trying to make up for what I missed, or trying to desperately keep myself from slipping into another episode. I don't want to be miserable like that. Other people's opinions or not, society being sucky or not, It's fuckin miserable. I wouldn't want to experience that even if all of the surrounding inconveniences went away.
meds are not for everyone but sometimes meds are necessary. i am HEAVILY medicated and it is the only thing that has helped me since all my symptoms are physical. mental health is complicated and looks different in everyone. this means treatments are going to be different!
remember that even if they say somethings wrong that is NEVER a reflection of your self worth. It is a judgement made in an attempt to improve your health. That being said they could do with prescribing therapy more than meds, I certainly had my fair share of pill happy doctors.
@@SilverStarStorm. You lack self discipline.
I have 2 Gen Z’rs- both with severe anxiety & depression & both extremely lonely. We’ve been fighting this for the last 9yrs or so- it’s so hard & painful to watch them struggle day after day. The pendulum needs to swing back to more community activity or something-
Then do something about it. Take away their smart phones for a start. Get them shitty fast food jobs. Send them away to summer camp. Whatever. Just let go your grip on their lives and send them out into the world to be around other people.
Jesus Saves
take down social media and streaming platforms maybe.
Hello put them on the GAPS diet and it will help reduce/eliminate their depression! Much depression is food related! Social media is one aspect! But mostly it comes down to nutrition/ in balanced hormones/ too much screen time/ not enough exercise! It’s a combination of things! Hope they can overcome ✨
Jesus can help you. He sure set me free from depression and debilitating anxiety
Really glad I watched this, I'm 23 and have been suffering from something called CVS, aka Chronic Vomiting Syndrome, for years now. It would at least be manageable on its own, but I've also got severe social anxiety that just so happens to primarily culminate in the form of nausea. Weed is one of the only things that's been able to help subdue that anxiety, and in worst case scenarios, help quell my episodes of CVS which can sometimes last for days at a time.
I'm finally going in for a stomach scope within the next month or so in an effort to get to the bottom of the issue, but given that I've never been fully put under anesthesia, I've been incredibly nervous about it. It may be scary to face, but its for my own health and happiness so I just gonna go in, be honest about the issue, what I use for it, and try not to distract myself from the reality. Maybe once its over and we figure the problem out, I'll even be able to finally live my life how I want to.
Just gotta accept things for what they are, y'know? Fix what we can, work around what we can't, and try to have hope for the future!