There Is Nothing Worse Than Self Checkout. Greg Vaccariello
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- čas přidán 25. 03. 2022
- There is nothing worse than self checkout, especially if you're like Greg Vaccariello and hate technology. In this clip from his first ever Dry Bar Comedy special, Greg Vaccariello explains his experience with self checkout machines and how he hates being an employee at his local grocery store. Whether you're someone who loves the convenience of self checkout, or you're someone who hates self checkout this clip from Greg Vaccariello is sure to have you laughing from beginning to end.
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"Employee discount. Thank you!" 💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Glad I'm not the only one. Great performance. Reminded me of George Carlin's logic. Gotta' love it.
"She hates it, I love it." Direct quote from this video talking about the exact opposite premise.
Never used one and i never bloody will.
So true! I hate self check out and refuse to use it.
Hahaha This is so true! The worst of all is the self checkout experience at Costco. The "supervisors" make you feel so dumb or like your trying to be sneaky. They deserve a Dry Bar bit all on their own 😂
Exactly 💯
The whole process is an act of insanity!
Go to the store get a cart. Walk around with your list and put items in the cart. Double back 5 times because the list is not in order of the items on the shelf. Go get an item for a recipe you forgot to write it on the list. Get to check out area. There are 3 cashiers open with 4 carts full to the tops out of 15 available closed lanes.
6 self check outs with lines back to the men’s underwear section are available.
You take it out put it on the conveyer belt. Put in bags back in the cart & put bags in the trunk. Go home take it out of the trunk s bring in the house.
By the time it’s all put away you’re too tired to cook dinner and your kids have eaten half of the snacks.
Add to that I am deaf so everything takes 5 times as long. 🙈😜
Understood, my daughter orders her items from Walmart on the app then goes to pick it up. That is a brilliant idea.
I'm not deaf but I'm deeply antisocial and have been trained since young to always expect to be assault at any time and always be ready to fight so I find myself constantly looking at any person who approaches as a threat and struggling to speak in a way I am not already accustomed to doing in places I am not already familiar with. Large open spaces with numerous unfamiliar people a constantly changing environment and a chore where I need to stand around and speak with other is like all things that I am not good at. So I find myself feeling like I am escaping towards the end... Which is why I tend to forget some of my purchases quite frequently.
@@jocomfiresin6982 Oh boy I can totally relate to that! I’ve also had some head injuries throughout my life that has added to short term memory loss. It’s kind of like movie 50 First Dares with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler ~ although nowhere as severe!
I can remember down to the finest detail something that happened when I was a kid 40 years ago, but I can’t tell you what I did last weekend.
Being in crowds is the WORST! Anxiety city. My fiancé is a big guy. If we have to walk through a crowd I just hold his hand and close my eyes and let him lead the way.
Being deaf is a new thing for me, I wasn’t born like this. In January 2021 it started. I thought I had some sort of head cold. It got really bad really fast. In June I finally was tested and I have severe ~ legally deaf ~ hearing loss in both ears. Nobody can figure out why. I was only 46. It’s scary without my hearing aids in. All of my favorite songs are different as well as movies. Everyone I know sounds different.
I was at CVS a while back and they were playing a Katy Perry song. She sounded like a chipmunk!😂
It’s worse when trying to communicate with someone wearing a mask because I can’t see their lips move. It’s very challenging.
We have a 1 year old puppy. She’s 1/2 black lab and 1/2 German Shepherd. We are going to get her trained and certified to be my companion dog so she can alert me if there’s someone or something that I can’t hear ~ like someone behind me.
We’ve definitely had some very funny miscommunications in our household!
It sucks, but I’m an artist so I’d rather be deaf than blind!😉
I had gone shopping with my older lady friend, when these things first appeared. She ran her stuff through, it was all n the bag. The machine WOULD NOT take the money. Tried different bills, even spit on the bills, NOPE. We tried to get some help. No employees in sight. So. I grabbed the bag and LOUDLY said something like, "Hey, it doesn't want our money. it's FREE, LET'S GO! We got some help.
Amazing how that works, huh? Just try finding someone when you need other help - it's crickets!
Great. Story. I liked. Funny 2.
This is one of the reasons I stopped shopping at Walmart they SUCK. . They are all self-checkouts now.. and when I did go there which was very seldom I could never find anybody to help me it was ridiculous.. all they want is cheap Free Labor from all you people that like to use to self checkout.. the big shots are pocketing all that money that you're saving them.. plus I heard they don't pay any health insurance either. What tight greedy assholes are they... then again there's a lot of stories like that they want cheap free labor and they don't want to pay out anything...
@@jeannierusso2134 , I left a full grocer cart sitting there and walked out because they had 2 cashiers and wanted people to use self check out.
@@AJfanboy1 I almost did that once in Tesco (a UK store) - it was an overflowing trolley (not even basket - a trolley) of shopping and they seriously expected me to use the self-service checkout. I left it and started to walk out. It was getting near closing time and they must have realised they'd have to put it all back - suddenly they could open a normal checkout.
I know exactly what he is talking about. You put the item in the bag then the machine says please put your item in the bag. Just like he said now you are standing there talking to a machine, I just did. Now youre standing there waiting for a store employee to come over and help you. it would have been quicker to just go to a lane with a cashier
It's funny when we talk to the machine 🤣
@@aprilstanley8708 Its funny but also frustrating, especially when you just want to get out of the store and get home
John AMEN 2 THAT.
@@aprilstanley8708 Maybe it Is funny.....later.
He just described my EVERY experience using self checkout. lol
😂🤣Great idea 🤣🙃
"They took our jerbs!"
That "whooo" at the start was approximately 5000dB.
I absolutely Hate selfcheck out.
I love it!
The other problem is there's never enough room in the bagging area so you can't even do it effeciently. And if there is something heavy you can't just scan it on the trolley. You have to lift the giant thing up on the bagging area to register it. And it pauses every minute or so to glitch out.
Really annoying to call someone over for every little detail. Doesn't feel empowering, would rather just be served with politeness and respect. You don't feel "independent" using them because of all the times you need to call someone over...it just gives you a bad feeling.
“Please put the item into the bagging area.”
There's also that one item that won't scan. After three tries, it just goes into the bag. No one ever notices.
I'm waiting for my 1099 from Walmart for Self-Checker😁
Self checkouts man, I scan all the items so fast that it cannot tell me anything. Then I pay so fast that it sounds like a broken voice recorder they put in that thing. Gotta hate those machines man 😂
My wife is always complaining about the self checkout and Greg Vaccariello did a great job of surmising the calamitous checkout experience. Unlike the no-talent comics that rely heavily upon profanity laced brainless diatribes, this guy has a future in comedy. God Bless.
Self checkouts are great. For robots and stores' bottom lines. Normal people...not so much.🙃
Self checkout always thinks I’m stealing…” please remove the last item from the bag….” ARGH!
I hate those machines.
I live in Ontario Canada and all the Walmarts in my area are majority self checkout . I skip Walmarts just to avoid the headache.
I think Bill Burr has the best bit on these
As a cashier, I hate self-checkout and wish people would stop using it (in our store, we have cashier operated registers and self-scans). Self-checkout is fine if you just have a few items, but if you have a $300 order, PLEASE go to a regular register. Even if you think you're good at it, chances are I'll have to keep coming over because your order is so massive the register thinks you're trying to steal... Which defeats the whole point of self checkout in the first place.
As a customer, I prefer using a normal checkout, regardless of how many items I have, but cashiers frequently have only self-checkouts open, thereby pressuring people to use them. So if you work in such a store, open a register. I should not have to choose between being pressure into using a self-checkout or having to approach an employee to request they open a normal checkout, when the fact they don't have them open in the first place suggests they don't want to and will be rude.
Employee Discount!!! WOOHOO!!!
What I hate is the volume on those things. I may be old, but my hearing is still sensitive enough to be annoyed by getting screamed at by a machine that is also happy to tell the world of the price of everything I buy. The town where I used to live had a feature on their machines where I could at least adjust the volume. Not here, oh no.
Yes! The volume! Use your "indoor voice" machine!
'Employee discount'.... That's perfect!
Huh. I'm very glad for self checkout. I use them plenty, and rarely have problems.
I remember waiting in long lines that move super slow. They can fit 10 self checkouts in the space of 3 big checkouts (no giant conveyer or big racks of impulse buys), so you gain 7 extra checkouts. And the line moves quick because there's 10.
The addition of the self checkouts even helps speed up the big checkouts because so many people opt for the self checkouts. So honestly you should like them even if you don't use them.
Well Rusty........well HONESTLY Rusty, I hope you like to cook your own food and pour your own drinks at the restaurant because there are loads more customers than employees....if you wanna be consistently honest.
@@fireballxl-5748 That's the same thing the comic said, about making your own food at the restaurant, and while it's good for a joke, it doesn't hold up for an actual comparison.
I'm not as skilled at cooking as the professionals. It would take longer and the food wouldn't be as good.
But scanning a few items and putting them in a bag is something that requires no skill.
I know from experience that I can scan a box and put it in the bag FASTER than these slow cashiers, unlike the chefs where I'd have to start back over 3 times. And I'll bag it how I like it, better than the cashier, whereas I definitely wouldn't make the food better than the chefs.
Like I said, amusing for the comic to say, but not a valid comparison in a real discussion on it.
@@fireballxl-5748 As for pouring my own drinks... YES PLEASE! I would definitely prefer to go over to the drink station myself instead of waiting for someone.
The places where you can, I do.
@@rustylee1836 meh
@@fireballxl-5748 I really liked your comment about pouring your drinks and getting your own food at the restaurant that's funny..😁😄🤣😅😍
Self-checkouts are a double edged sword. Some people put them in to save money, but too many of them use it to justify not having enough employees.
I've asked associates before, when should I receive my W-2 from!
He’s not wrong.
They’re not paying me to be cashier so wtf? Not checking myself out!
Totally agree 👍🏻
I totally refuse to use these machines! It’s my way of keeping a human being working and fighting the machines.
Rise of the Machines!! NNEEYYAAHH
There should be a required discount for being required to use self-checkout. If I'm saving you money that could/should have gone to pay someones wages, you should be discounting my purchases.
EXACTLY !!!!
Nobody has ever told me that I had to use one.
@@constanceskalecki4928 One large franchise I go to has NO human cashiers. There is no choice but to use self-checkout.
I think that’s unwise of that franchise,however, I don’t think that is what people are complaining about. I haven’t seen one of these stores, but I do believe that they’re out there.
I've never had a single problem at self checkout. I actually prefer them to dealing with a cashier having an attitude.
Self checkout is great when getting a few things, but I’d much prefer a cashier to scan and bag when I have a cart full of items.
“Employee discount”. 😂
So true! LMAO🤣
Take the last item out of the bag and scan it before putting in bag.
Even though I love self check out, it's all I use. But I'm a pro at it. In and out in 30 seconds. However, he made some good points and very funny
I absolutely love the self-checkouts! I despise standing in line. So because so many people hate the self-checkouts there is never a line there. I can ring up my few items and get the hell out of there without having to deal with idiots looking through coupons:-)
There usually is some kind of line for my closest Hawaii Wal-Mart because it's currently very efficient and devoid of the issues mentioned in the video that I haven't encountered for years.
Unless you're buying booze. Then, what's the difference?
Self checkout is the best. I always scan my stuff quickly, no problems and I’m out of the store before a single person is finished in the cashier line. Most people are just bad with technology. I’m an IT guy so I’m a technology whisperer. Lol
It’s the opposite at my grocery stores. Long lines to self checkout. No thanks!
@@fartkerson but it's not about the technology. People are very adamant about the "it's not my job!"
"I find the cheapest produce item and put that in for all my produce."
Me: Hey thanks for that man now I know what to look out for when people do that.
I'm not getting paid to do they're job.
I refuse to do self checkout if there is any item on cart without a barcode.
They are so easy to use old people just hate change
Self-checkout is just a way for stores to make more money (fees for person accused of theft), save money (by not hiring cashiers), and having fun (giving a person a criminal record for life).
I remember how much people hated that at first! I still hate it sometimes but boy does it come in handy during the holidays!
FYI, though, if you're in a store like Target or WalMart & you try to punch in a code or use a barcode that does not match the item, it's called "Ticket Switching" and the APAs ("undercover shoppers" - security) will stop you for it because it is illegal. Full disclosure ;)
They bag your cleaning supplies with meat. They don't smile/or are rude. They are slow as hell. I will gladly ring up my own things.
I never use self checkout. when an employee tries to steer me to it I ask them if I get a discount for using it and when they say no I tell them I'm not using it then.
They really care about your hang-ups and reasoning behind why you don't like it. They also want to hear your life story. /s
@@remyllebeau77 What? She didnt say that she didnt like it. she said that if the store doesnt offer a discount for using it then she is not going to use it. how is that a hang up? that is called a preference, people have preferences you know. gas stations used to offer discounts for self service
Right, we should get a discount for using self checkout
Why ?
You pay the same amount and don't get a discount when the cashier has an attitude and screws up and has to call a Mgr over.
People need to get a grip not a participation trophy.
@@notme2day And loosing time at customer service desk to get the money back for the cashiers mistake...!
I prefer self check out. I do my scanning fairly quickly and I'm single, don't buy that much. Those huge queues with carts for 10 ppl family. When I used to go to a store with no self check out, I would finish off 2/3 of a big chocolate bar waiting my turn.
Some stores don't give you an option anymore. A couple of them I can't figure out. Maybe I could if they weren't hovering over me and stressing me out. Also, the produce codes are a pain. I write them down on a piece of paper to use at self checkout. Why should I even have to do that? I read an article where it said University kids have figured out ways to cheat the machines. So the money they're saving on hiring fewer cashiers is probably not worth it with all the free stuff going out the door.
Employee discount! LMAO!!!!!!!
I always yell at the machine. 😡
Aldi has made it worse now by having giant monitors that put your every blemish, clothing mistake, etc. on display like you're in a zoo, for every customer to watch, when it used to just be an employee as the rest of the customers could only see the back of you.
I prefer knowing how to do my own job. I prefer self checkout when I don't have a lot and the other lines are long.
Very funny guy!
They realized that people were "discounting" their "orders" enough to justify hiring more minimum wage cashiers.
I mean gas used to be the same way. Someone else used to pump it. Now we do it ourselves. It ain’t that big of a deal. Older people tend to have issues with it. Younger generations rarely have issues with it.
No profit will ever go to people who use them. the gas company started self service a long time ago
You mean to tell me that scanning and bagging isnt as easy as people think? Color me shocked.
What is the difference between scanning your items yourself at a grocery store, and pumping gas into your car yourself at a gas station?
It used to be that bad when self check-out first came around at Wal-Mart, but it's gotten a lot better. You don't have to bag between scanning or at all anymore and it's better not to bag since they check your receipt and items at the exit anyway. I just use the scanner gun on all my items while they're still in the cart while I see everyone take each item out like drones that haven't got the latest update. Self check-out has been a lifesaver during COVID regulations as well. During the initial lockdown it was very frustrating having to deal with items piling up on the cashier checkout tote bag wheel because the said cashier treated your reusable bags like they were the source of COVID. So, I gravitated away from normal Wal-Mart checkout isles in favor for self check-out and even with lockdowns and mask mandates lifted, I see no reason to go back. Unless the cashier is cute.
They don’t pay cashiers to slide groceries left and right, they pay em to deal with Karen’s
The Karens are usually the retail workers
Yup, if we start refusing to use them we could put alot of people back to work. Be a job creator not a job destroyer
Even if I knew how to use the self checkout, I sure wouldn't use it in a store with union employees.
I agree with him 100%. I've left full carts sit in Walmart and Home Depot because they only had 2 cashiers working and a "supervisor" for self checkout. I asked if I got a discount for doing the work myself, and when told no, I left.
lol…Yep..next talk about the touch screens at fast food Restaurants trying to place an order, or the ones at gas stations trying to get an order of Fried livers-forget if you want side dishes, and if a stranger helps, while you stand the line-up just trying to pay for gas, with your receipt to give the cashier, and they tell you to wait "standing there" F it ill just buy a Snickers!...but sir it’ll be 'fresh n hot' in about 10 to 15 min...
done the self check out ONCE - felt like the MGR or someone was following me to my car...holding receipt in the air, I paid for this!!...see receipt!!! Someone dm look here it is!
I guess he doesn't mind ... pumping his own gas or...filling his own drink at the fast food joints...etc....so many things we do ourselves yet we never complain
Not the same at all it's just greed
That reminds me I rather serve myself my own coffee. If I go to a donut shop, and the employee serves it, she serves it to the brim, and then it spills on me, and then it burns me. If I go to 7/11 it's more expensive, but I dont fill the cup to the brim and all is well.
I prefer self checkout. Never had a problem with it. I’m proficient at scanning items and way faster than a cashier. I hate standing in line for a cashier. No thanks.
In love self-checkout, gets me in and out quicker. During the height of the pandemic I felt like I was reducing the exposure risk to employees.
The Media, never felt the amount of pain that they deserve for what they've done into our Societyy
ppl who don't like self checkouts have never worked a day in their life as a cashier. Those employees do so freaking much!! quit telling ppl its their job. y'all got no clue how much they do
Dislike the self check for a multitude of reasons.
I'm fine with them because it gets me in and out quicker. Plus everything you buy is at least buy one get two free when you use the self checkout.*
*=joke.
So don't everyone get their panties all in an uproar.
It should come with a discount
The discount is the time you save if the self checkouts are open. Time is money.
@@tianou3737 so, no discount? It doesn't save time unless there's no line and you have very few items
It would be just as easy to charge a 'cashier fee' for those who want to be waited on
Cashiers are typically paid minimum wage, so why not TIP?
@@jaquessheet3267 unless a company has rules against tipping, you're free to do so.
The cashier fee is already built into the cost of groceries, that's where their pay comes from.
Heard others on this but this guy's bit...excellent! 😆
This is some true "old man yells at cloud" stuff. At least he had a couple of Boomer friends in the crowd to give him some laughs.
Were there any jokes even?
The sad fact is... I remember this exact act in a different order told in a different way and in a different voice... Like 15 different times...
Still amusing I guess... Also to the other guy... Comedic anecdotes is technically more common then one liners and the like... They only don't work based on the audience. You have to have a similar experience and perspective to find them funny.
Also comedic anecdotes are only more common because they are in fact something everyone can do most people have done and immensely older then one liners... A funny story can be around as long as stories have been around bun wit and language puns require language. Which is to say they are only more common if you consider all of history...
no full clip
??
Then they raise prices to compensate for shrink
That's stealing
Yup! I actually like the non-human interaction aspect of it because I'm an introvert, BUT, human interaction is important number one. Number two, I refuse to do their job for them when I am not getting a discount. And number three, I don't like that these machines are replacing people, technology will always continue to move forward and replace (and create) jobs, but in this case, they are screwing the employee and the customer with no benefit to either. Whenever I can, I would rather stand in line and wait and support the cashier and basic community interaction, and 99% of the time, I do. I also hate it when they flag you over as if they are going to check you through and suddenly you are standing in front of the self checkout where either A) you feel like an idiot because they are running the self checkout while you stand there like a retarded neanderthal who doesn't know how to operate it, or B) they lead you there, run a few items through and then abandon you because someone else needs help. I swear if they do that to me next time, I am picking up my stuff to go back to the end of the line I was in before they fooled me.
Oh honey. You just have to be more assertive, but not aggresive. You just have to tell them, "No, I am fine here". I mean if that's what you really want, it's your call.
If I'm having to your job to check out my groceries, put me on the payroll and pay me to do your job. Include a benefits package: sick time, 2 weels paid vacation, etc. Self check outs should be limited both in number of checkouts and the number of items in your cart. I've seen people with overloaded carts in the self checkouts. I wonder how they check to see if every item was scanned. They can't.
Yes, as a society we have reached the stage where we do everyone's job for them and pay for the privilege.
Hope its true. Machines removed
😂🤣😂🤣😂
Nothing better than self-checkout. You don't have to deal with a person touching your stuff, and a minimum wage bagger that doesn't have a clue. And you don't have the dumb requests about charity to make you feel guilty. And the line is usually much quicker.
Everything you buy has been touched countless times....how do you think it gets on the shelves ?? How do you "feel guilty" about a stranger asking for donations ?? That's all on you. Yes, sometimes they're faster.... but you should get a discount for doing THEIR work.
@@RandysRides It was a nice way of saying you don't have to deal with people.
And I'll rephrase by saying "you don't have to deal with people asking for donations".
It isn't "THEIR work". You are being an entitled customer that can't handle change. They set the terms of what they charge and how they do business. You either accept their terms, complain, or go to a different store. Refusing those options and insisting they somehow owe you because you don't like change, that is your problem.
And you can't even complain when you had the option to wait for a normal cashier.
I always use self check , its faster usually no line much quicker . older people of people who are technology challenged cant handle it...
I am technologically ignorant and even I use it. Some people just have to gripe about something.
We're doing the stores job. Why don't we get the employees discount? And I sometimes get this message 'Please see cashier for assistance' What? I am the cashier. Oh wait, it won't be long, and we'll be stocking the shelfs too and driving their trucks for them. Thank you, Walmart, that is now owned by some company in China. No joke, the 3-sister who owned Walmart, sold to a company in China.
But Russia bad! Lol
@@beatleme2 I gave you a thumbs-up for your great humor, but I really don't know who's propaganda to believe because I sure can't trust our own U.S President, Congress, or our fake media. Biden sent many disabled veterans to Poland, that I DO KNOW! I spoke to one disabled veterans wife. That's a fact.
Idk how those items fell into the bag, but maybe it's payment for doing the job of an employee?
😂🎉
Let me see if I get this right, you go into a full service grocery store and you do all the work and eliminate someone's job. I didn't fall for it.
It's bad enough you have to pump your own gas and pay more.
Old people tend to dislike self-checkout. It’s actually more efficient when you only have a few things and aren’t tech averse.
Young people "working" retail like it because they're lazy and someone else can do the work for them.
Correct. I'm old and prefer the food stores that unload, scan , bag and load my groceries. Now if I am in a hurry and have only one or two items and the self checkout is available. I will do it.
@@aprilstanley8708 100%
The point of them is that you have a choice. The people that still pay with checks are the ones who prefer full service registers. One isn’t better than the other.
True that. Lol
I discovered the volume feature on the screen. You push it all the way up, then once more and it mutes that annoying voice. Then I can scan in peace.
🤣stp giving Provo students and folks bad ideas.
I do math. I time how long it takes me to scan and bag, then subtract that from an hourly wage, and demand the refund. When they say no, I ask for a cashier. Or, I purposefully scan things ten times to get an astronomical total, then tell them it's broken and need a cashier.
Good. One. . That's a good way to get a cashier I suppose? ( I don't use self-checkouts). I heard another way for you to get help is to pretend like you don't speak English... and then someone will come over and assist you
That's not an employee discount, that is theft. You are welcome to shop somewhere else, that employs humans.
All these white people who think scanning their own items is the hardest thing in the world have me dying. You guys are too entitled
I am Native American, and I can't stand those machines. They are dehumanizing. They are taking yet-another source of human contact from us. It's about corporations separating us from each other. It's not about lazy, and it's certainly NOT about RACE!
HUH ... I've never had a single problem with self checkout.
I'd rather self checkout than deal with a cashier with an attitude.
You are lucky! I've rarely Not had a problem with the self-checkout. Some things you can't scan in that section anyway, like pretty much anything from the electronics department. If a cashier is surly, I try to chat with them. Sometimes they cheer up, sometimes they don't. Shrug. Either way, those self-checkout lanes are not for me.