r/AITA She Tried to STEAL My Baby!
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:08 Give me the baby
2:23 House sitter
7:52 Family Christmas
9:33 Police
11:14 Moving in
13:58 Not your server
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
One thing that I haven't seen mentioned in the comments on story 2 is that the bf and his daughter spend 2 weekends a month in the house. They had been trying to slowly merge the 2 families. This proves to me that bf and his daughter KNEW how the house was run and expectations of cleanliness. They KNEW how OP shopped monthly for groceries and KNEW the groceries were to last the month.
They didn't even run the dehumidifiers
exactly. The Bf totally knew how the hosehold worked and left the house a complete mess
Bringing uninvited guests over when house sitting is SUPER rude. Doing that AND letting them eat ALL the homeowners FOOD is INSANE.
Let’s not forget the mess that was left behind
I'm actually a professional house sitter (yes, it's an actual job lol) and I ALWAYS bring my own food with me. Usually, my clients will empty their fridges of the perishables and depending on the client, I'm sometimes welcome to the drinks fridge, or staple items like pasta/rice/beans. However, just because I'm told I can help myself, I absolutely don't. I will take a couple of sodas or Gatorades if that's an option, but never their booze. I also clean up after myself immediately. These practices are why I don't care if they have internal cameras in the common areas, and it's part of why I think I'm able to retain clients.
I'm comflicted with this... he was supposed to eat "some of the 1k worth food" for his help, so why is she billing him 1k? 🤔 why is she asking for the entire sum, did she never intend for him to eat a thing?
@@ElleD308 because he ate more than just the 1k grocery resupply. She still had food in the house when she did her planned monthly big 1k resupply. So if he ate over 95% of the total amount of food there, he most definitely ate over 1k in food.
Yeah and I’m thinking sure some of that might have gone bad but frozen and pantry items not really. And it sounds like most the items that would’ve ie the veggies were just skipped.
There wasn’t even a reason to trash the house. They invited friends, wiped them out of the food. Neither planned on cleaning or even attempting to until they were caught.
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They only had to follow a few simple rules but instead decided to let their inner demons roam. I hope OP takes this guy to court over the cost of the food and any damages done to the house due to not dehumidifying. And not to judge the girl’s friends but what if something was taken from OPs?
She did a update weeks ago broke up with him took lost about the food@@lorilancaster5917
Just wanted to point out that dirty dishes in the kitchen/dining room and clothes laying about isn’t “trashed.” I agree the BF is in the wrong, but given OPs hording trauma it’s possible she’s making a larger deal out of some messiness.
Another commentor told me that the edit they saw she had issues with cleanliness. So the home was probably clean in his standards, but not in hers. Which kinda makes me understand slashes verdict. If that's the case.
I'm really upset that he didn't read the full edit. She said that she has a beach house with 6 bedrooms, a gaming room and some other high end stuff so it would be indeed more like a vacation rather than house sitting. And she said they could have some food but they took everything and didn't even eat it all after cooking it. So moldy food everywhere that could have been saved for later but they decided to cook new stuff. So imo Op is nta but her partner is definitely.
Edit to add:
The food OP got was like canned goods and other stuff that has a long shelf life, so the point R/ made about how the food would've gone bad by the time they got back is also invalid.
OP clarified that she could've hired a neighbor for 200$ to dumb the water out of the humidifiers so it wasn't really such a big responsibility for her partner but even this he didn't do.
NO WAIT? R/SLASH WHAT THE FUCK MAN.
WTF MOLDY FOOD???? That's a health hazard!!! How did this get even worse T_T
He didn't even run the dehumidifiers
That just makes the story sounds fake as fuck now.
@@KazeShikamaru You sound fake asf, obviously you don't know how stupid people can be. Or how terrible.
There's literally a news story about a woman who killed her two kids after her husband wanted to divorce her for her infidelity. If people do that. If people kill for the hell of it(which is another thing that has made news headlines for YEARS.), If people will s*xually assault others-including children-, what makes you think some lazy fuckers wouldn't do what's been said in the story? Hm??
Story 2: he consumed a months worth of food for a household of 4 in less than 12 days. It’s def more than just his kids friends that mooched of her in that 2 weeks
Not even a FULL 2 weeks because that would be 14 days🥲
@@KomaedasOneTrueHope yea that ground beef was next for sure lol
It's a common sense to not eat all the food when you in someone's house even if they said "make yourself at home".
As a foodie myself (assuming that the word meant that I happen to really like food and nothing else) and yet I don't think I could eat a *month's worth of food* and expect nothing but a stern warning. This isn't an ESH situation this is a situation where OP was (and still is) obviously in the right no matter the argument.
So like, no? The house was completely trashed for 12 days? Since the friends ate some of the food, and the FRIENDS weren't offered any food, reimbursement for that at least, is completely fair. And if OP legitimately said SOME of the food, and they took MAJORITY, that's just.. weird...
Yeah maybe not $1000 but at least half of that. Obviously they were bringing people to her house and feeding them her groceries.
It's worse, because RSlash got his math wrong. If you read along with him, which I do a little, it says they got home two days ago, four days before the two week mark. That means that it was only ten days. Roughly one and a half weeks. OP said that was from a MONTHLY shopping trip. They went through nearly a month's worth of groceries in less than half a month.
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And they invited people over that OP likely doesn’t know nor did she consent to having guests. They just wanted to flaunt OPs success as theirs. Dude if you want to play the role of a kept man, be worth keeping!
Only thing I'll disagree with is we've no idea how long the house was dirty for or if the house was really trashed. (OP has some pretty bad anxiety issues when anything is slightly dirty due to her parents being hoarders, no idea why rslash didn't read that part out loud) OP came home at least four days early with no warning and saw clothes on the floor and dishes in the sink potentially right after the daughter had friends over and then didn't let op clean bc she wants her house to never be dirty due to her childhood trauma.
That being said of course the boyfriend's an asshole. Wtf eats most of the person's food for whom your house sitting AND invites people over to eat their food too? And the fact that op has to be the one to bring up repayment? No way was this relationship ever going to work out.
As someone that meal preps weeks in advance, coupons, grows my own produce, cans/dehydrates, I'm VERY aware of how much food $1000 can buy. No way does one grown man and one teenaged girl with some friends over a few days eat that much food. Not to mention, this is just $1000 of food added to what the OP still had! No. Fucking. Way.
I guarantee a lot of that food is now over at his house.
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I had the same thought!
That would only matter if she has the same level of diligence that you do. The average person grocery shopping can vary their spending habits greatly from trip to trip, and not think twice about it.
@@coppercorn even if she didnt do any of that, 1000 dollars of food is a shit ton of food. my parents spend maybe 800 a month for a family of five, and my roomate and i spend together maybe 150 every two weeks. factoring in that she meal preps and coupons could nearly double the amount of food someone else could buy for that same 1000 dollars.
$1000 "worth" of food is relative. It all depends on where that food was purchased. $1000 at Erewhon or Whole Foods won't go as far as $1000 at Walmart. Also OP is a self proclaimed neat freak so "trashed" has to be taken with a grain of salt. She obviously didn't tell him she was on her way home if he didn't clean when he said he was going to.
Story 2: a child and an adult ate a THOUSAND DOLLARS IN GROCERIES IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. My grown ass husband and I spend maybe $300 every two weeks. MASSIVE asshole score for that guy, idc. If you don’t have $1000, why are you eating $1000 worth of food??? I get OP left it “for” them, but that’s SO MUCH FOOD, Dabney????? Like, are you not hearing how much that is???? That’s over THREE MONTHS OF GROCERIES. IN TWELVE DAYS.
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My family of five doesn’t go through $1000 of groceries in a MONTH, let alone 2 weeks, tf?????
As someone who stayed in someone else's home for a week (cat sitting rather then house sitting) and even though they did leave food for me I mostly just brought my own food to enjoy while staying their or went out for meals so they could have done that rather then waste that much.
Yeah, my 6ft 200plus pound boyfriend who works out every other day still doesn't even eat $1000 in groceries every month... That is absolutely absurd...
I’m half convinced this has to be like a different country, there’s no way they ate US$1000 worth of food in 2 weeks, also theres no way they bought that much bc it would be like 5-6 shopping carts full
Story 2: Rslash, she said some. She didn’t say all. Wouldn’t you not eat them out of house and home and at least replace some of what you ate?
It also sounds like the daughter's friends ate a decent amount. OP said they could have some, not invite other people over to also eat their food.
@@andyd5878 Not just ate a decent amount but wasted a decent amount it sounds like.
Yeah, BF clearly brought multiple people over and just went wild consuming OP's groceries. Also, I find it hard to believe BF didn't know OP shops for the month. If I left TWO people with a month's groceries for a family of FOUR, I wouldn't expect them to run through my food in under 2 weeks. I'm guessing the BF and his daughter thought Oh, wow, we have all this food. Let's host people at OP's house and be all kinds of generous on her dime.
Also did she gave permission to invite other ppl into her house??? That's insane
Agreed and that’s enough food for the month for a household of four and they eat majority in less than 12. That’s insane.
Rslash, you missed the big issues in the second story. Of course she's gonna spend money on food because that's her monthly shop. Just because it's there, doesn't mean you eat it all. Secondly, just because you clean when people come over, doesn't mean that's okay to do at other people's property. That's still their house so you are a guest and adhere to their cleanliness standards. If that means you clean ul after yourself daily, then clean up after yourself.
He didn't even take care of the humidifiers aka the whole reason for him being there
@@kp2223if he’s not going to bother cleaning and eat nearly all of OP’s food why is he going to bother taking care of the humidifier’s
Story 2: first of all who told him he could have people over, and let those people eat your food? Even if they were allowed to have something to eat during that time there are two people and OP got a month's worth of groceries for 4, they should not have gone through all of it in less than 2 weeks. And even then how hard is it to clean up after yourselves as you're going the house was a complete wreck and I bet his plan was to wait until the last minute to clean everything up at once. R/ I'm sorry but you're wrong, this isn't a matter of being able to read someone's mind, he just an inconsiderate jerk that was banking on the idea that it's okay because his GF has more money than him.
EXACTLY! I just commented this. It’s always a woman’s fault for not “communicating better and expecting men to read their minds” but is not men’s fault to be considerate, responsible and behave like normal adults!!!! 🤦🏻♀️ this made me so mad!
I think she actually gets food for almost 6 people, she says that the $1000 covers her, her kids, plus Jack and his daughter. So really, they should have only gone through maybe a third of what they did. 90% is way way too excessive, even if they did have people over. Then there's the obvious fact that they weren't meant to have people over and left the house absolutely disgusting, and evidently went through their bedrooms and trashed them. RSlash is extra, super wrong on this one
Agreed. However we all know one person that exploit what wasn't said. He would say he didn't eat all, he didn't. So he would claim they ate some. She didn't say they couldn't have parties, and he even claimed he was gonna clean up, but she came home soon. I think Rslash missed things, or has been constantly being accused of being biased.
I still don't get why she bought 1k worth of groceries before leaving and telling him he could eat some of the food..like what are the specifics of ''some'' ? I know he's a butthole but OP is just being weird here and sending some weird messages with buying all that food when she's gonna be away like it's meant for him so I don't fault Rslash for his score there.
You gotta communicate. OP didn't say shit or didn't bother to call and check in. Guys stop defending people being stupid and assuming people can read minds.
You don't need to be told do not eat ALL the food when being told you can have SOME of the food. She bought groceries she didn't open a food bank eating some of it would be fine. I don't imagine 'house sit' means we have to live here 24/7 so eating a bit of food there is cool, not the entire house.
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@@vanzy01can we also point out the bf could’ve took them out to eat or go back to his place to eat?
From my perspective, any time I have ever heard the term "house sit", it does mean they expect the person to "live" there, while they are away. Now, that doesn't mean they can't go out, go to work, etc, but they are expected to use the house as it was their own during that time. If that's being done as a favor (not being paid), I would expect things like providing food to the sitter would be expected. However, that should be done in a reasonable sense. If she bought a month's worth of food, and was gone for two weeks, but he ate all the food, than I'd say he owes her half, but not all $1000.
As for the mess and having additional guests over, he still needs to respect that it's someone else's home, even if he is temporarily living there. The mess, would depend on how bad it is. There is some reasonable expectation that a minor amount of mess might be left, especially if she came back before expected and he didn't have an opportunity to clean it up. But a large mess would be rude. Unfortunately, we don't know which this is, and someone else posted that if you read the story, rslash skips over a part that mention OP has trauma issues with any amount of mess due to parents being hoarders while she was a kid. So "dirty dishes and clothes" could mean a single dirty glass and a sock, or two weeks worth of dishes and clothes. We don't know.
The friends is a big no though. That's out of the question on any level to invite guests to another persons house without their knowledge or permission.
@@coppercorn She bought food for FOUR to last a month. Left OP and his daughter for 10 days... and now 90% of her food is gone. Oh, and they thought it'd be cool to invite a bunch of people to OP's house and feed them too. WTH? Obviously they were living large on OP's dime. Not surprised she ditched that guy. LOL
@@coppercorn I haven't been asked to house sit. Whether that is the common understanding or not I can't say, when I was asked to watch someone's apartment I was just given a key and I went maybe 2/3 times a day to help their pets. This is all I have to base it on but it seems like a plenty simple way to do it, you go scan the house if it's still fine you might go or hang for a bit and maybe grab a snack.
I don't get why they could imagine it was fine to eat all their food even if the understanding was 1 or 2 meals a day there, it was a family of what 3/4 people going on a vacation they probably buy extra just in case. If you overstep that trust so drastically as to eat all of their food it's a definitive you issue. I agree with R/ on the communication issues, maybe charging for all the food if there was understanding of some food being eaten, but overall OP was NTA.
6:07 Bro....$1000 worth of food!?!
She's NTA
And who eats what sounds like a month's worth of food in two weeks?
@@HeartFireStorm People who invite a bunch of people over and feed them OP's food. OP left two people with a month's groceries for FOUR. Why would she expect them to eat all of her food?
@@HeartFireStormTHATS WHAT I THOUGHT!!!
Rslash is just added a trash take to get more engagement on his videos
Story 2: Rslash you've really got to work on your reading comprehension. She clearly said he could have SOME of the food and that the food she bought was meant to last the month. Also you're assuming that she got back days before he expected. More likely she told him what day she was coming home and she got home a few hours before expected. He trashed her house, period. Whether he was going to clean it or not it never should have gotten that bad. Also her edit was implying that her house is significantly nicer than his
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Op says she told him 2 weeks, she was back in 10 days (i think 10, im not a math guy lmao) direct quote "But Anyways, we got back 2 days ago (4 days before the 2 week mark)"
I agree that R/s should think harder on the story, the longer he does this the worse his occasional bad takes get. But your insulting him saying he assumed that. You missed it. Ig its kinda easy to miss some things.
RSlash has a masters in English and writing, but has one of the worst reading comprehensions I’ve ever seen.
He definitely intentionally left out the edit but why? So we would leave angry comments?
@@abbysmith5933not completely true . He probably missed the point
Story 2 - it also turns out that boyfriend did NOT empty most of the dehumidifiers, which is really why he was there in the first place.
Apparently his definition of house sitting involves sitting to keep the house from flying away.
I was now joking thinking "I wonder if he even dealt with the humidifiers," but honestly didn't expect he really didn't. Man 😅
In the house sitting story, I would agree with you except she said she spends $1,000 on groceries for her and her three kids and for him and his daughter. So he went through a month's worth of food in 2 weeks. And not just a month's worth, A month's worth of food for five people in 2 weeks. That is a lot of friends being over at the house
Not even 2 weeks because OP came back 2 days earlier aka 10 days
@@audreym3908 2 weeks is 14 days so coming back 2 days earlier is 12 days
Six people actualy.
@@CEO_Of_Clybe yeah, I missed that she said twins for her oldest kids
@@undrhilQuoting OP: “We got back 2 days ago (4 days before the 2 week mark)” So yeah it was 10 days, which is even worse.
I can already tell that our Rslash is going to get some push back on the house sitting story. Boyfriend deserves way more butthole score for trashing the house and eating the food, and the girlfriend deserves way less of a score.
Yeah, inviting people over to her house, trashing the place AND eating her months worth of groceries in less than 2 weeks? WTH?
I agree his daughter and him ate 90% of the food with strangers involve. He should have replace the food he ate
I think it’s fair, both the gf and the bf suck
Also, in another comment OP said that he didn't even take care of the humidifiers which was a major point of him staying there to begin with. She should probably get .5 of a score for not being clear with him about what her expectations were, however who does that to someone else's house, especially if they were in a relationship-plus eating all the food in the house, that's just rude. She said it was a nice beach house- I think I also would have flipped my sh* on him.
Wouldn't be the first time sometimes his opinions on these posts can be really weird, like he misses important details or just simply goes against the popular opinion for some reason. Hard to say if these are his real thoughts or it's some way he is trying to get extra views by having a controversial opinion.
So are we just not going to talk about how the husband from story 5 most likely groomed OP's daughter? Dude was in his 30s when he supposedly started dating the daughter around 18 according to OP- likely chance that the daughter met him before 18 due to how OP phrased things.
This guy is 50 shades of red and the best thing OP can do is give self distance from son in law while showing daughter they can be there for her. It’ll be hard for her to understand. She may never will.
Yeah, he groomed her and baby trapped her.
Thank you! I was creeped out about that too.
I'm also afraid for the safety of the daughter, baby, and OP (the last mostly if the daughter moves in with OP).
This guy is confident thinking he snared someone too young and naive to see through his BS, and now they have a baby that further entraps the young woman in the relationship.
And now:
>on the one hand the daughter and baby have an escape route through OP, putting them all in danger*
>on the other hand, the daughter, husband, and baby are facing imminent homelessness, a massive stressor that puts daughter and baby in danger**
I hope that the daughter takes the lifeline offered to her by OP. And, I hope that no matter what they all take precautions to protect themselves against any possible retaliations by this volatile mane.
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*Leaving an abusive relationship is known to be one of the most dangerous times for a woman in that type of situation
**Major, stressful changes in life situations are also known to be particularly dangerous times for women living in abusive relationships.
Either direction that the daughter can go in is fraught with danger. I hope, however, daughter chooses to separate from this man and accept the support offered by OP, and that they all have care for their safety in the process.
Apparently RSLASH a Father(he brings it up often only reason i'm bring it up) has no problem with 18 and 30 something year old people dating.
@@emmetlover206He actually always does bring up concerning age gaps, I think he just missed this one because the ages weren’t straight away
I have to wonder if Dabney do more and more R/AITA and has one Horrendously bad take on purpose knowing it will generate comments who tells him he's wrong.
Comments are engagement, and pushes the video upfront the algorithm.
Either he's rage baiting us, or Reddit consumed his soul.
He also left out all of o p's comments on the story. He had asked her if he could stay at her house while she was away, She texted him the day before. She was supposed to come home to let him know what time she would be home, He had multiple guests over multiplications without permission, And he didn't even run the dehumidifiers.
I've been saying this about his bad takes for ages and received a lot of pushback each time. Glad to see someone else bringing it up!
Could be both 😆
I hate it when CZcamsrs do this. Or give an incorrect "fact" to be corrected in the comments.
It's just plain laziness because less effort on his part gives him the same amount of money
The boyfriend ate ONE THOUSAND dollars worth of food, and she specified he could have SOME. You READ that very sentence. GF deserves a lesser score, BF deserves a higher score, especially for letting all his daughters friends come over and eat food that his girlfriend never said any friends coming over could eat the food. He never even checked.
Technically it would of been MORE then a thousand dollars worth of food because op said she coupons
I think RSlash either forgot or left that out of his rant I’m hoping he forgot
R/Slash seemed to have completely missed that the boyfriend's daughter invited a bunch of people over without OP's consent. How would you feel if you let someone house sit for you and they held a party where the guest ate all your food. If it was just the 2 of them, I'd say everyone sucked but the party was definitely over the line.
No, that's just in a later part of his commentary.
He… said that though
He said it, but he didn't apply it at all to his verdict. He kept on saying she should have expected him to eat food when she left him to watch the house.
He did include it in his overall verdict. That's why the bf got a higher AH score
@@SpellCastorit drove me insane because he stuck on that fact like a child. Like she didn’t say he should starve but he didn’t need to eat everything. Also he left out part of the post where she explains why she had to do her months shopping before her trip.
R/slash, for S2, OP is NTA. She expected her bf and his daughter to respect HER HOME. They ate MORE than what they could and never even asked if the daughter can have friends over while OP and her kids were away. It was just supposed to be the 2 of them. And OP stated that they could have some of the food aka the perishable ones, not the ones in the freezer/pantry. Also, he was probably lying about "cleaning".
It’s 100% an everyone sucks. It’s VERY obvious that OP is leaving out details, every single story told is biased in some way, and even with that OP still has issues that rslash pointed out. The boyfriend and his daughter is absolutely more at fault, but something else is bugging me that doesn’t seem to be included.
@@gengar618 Idk if it's an ESH, but I definitely feel weird about her not considering house sitting a favor. That said, you don't sit someone's house by wrecking it, so ultimately he DIDN'T do her a favor.
@gengar618 Why pay for a house sitter when you believe you can trust your partner to watch your house without f*cking your house up? The original poster's boyfriend took advantage of her generosity and trust to screw up her house. And considering that he brought up how much money they both earned, he probably did it out of jealousy. They've both been trying to make this relationship work, and yet he goes out of his way to betray her in such a huge way?
@@gengar618 I do not understand how it’s an everyone sucks here because if you’re housesitting someone else’s house, you’re expected to leave that house exactly the way that person left the house.
@@THEDubbleHelixx again, I’m not saying that they don’t suck, having friends over isn’t cool, but I’m doubting how “trashed” the house really was. No pictures or anything just makes me not believe op as much. ESH.
Dabney... NO. She said he could have SOME of her, SOME. Not ALL. She's NTA. She NEVER said "you can eat anything you want". If you're house sitting you don't make a mess of the entire house and you don't invite people over without consent. The food was also meant to last the entire month, he ate everything in 12 days. She also never said that she didn't tell him that she was coming back, it could even be that she only got back a few HOURS earlier than expected.
Rslash: “OP, if you didn’t want them to eat all the food, you should’ve specified that”
OP: “I told him he could eat some of the food”
Oh also they invited people over to their house. Which wasn’t brought up at all which (IMO) means that wasn’t allowed.
And they didn’t dehumidify the house which OP asked. Let’s say people are correct that OPs standards of cleaning don’t match theirs and they had every intention of cleaning before OP got home. They knew OPs routine and that the food was to last a month. They also knew OPs standards of cleaning. Yet they had people over without OPs consent and ate or gave most of OPs food.
*1st Story:* Wanting to adopt a child from your pregnant teenage niece is perfectly fine _as long as the pregnant girl in question doesn't feel like she is being pressured into it._ "NO" is a complete sentence.
She wasn’t even a niece or granddaughter. Even if she wanted to put the baby up for adoption, they have no right to skip any formalities and legal processes. Especially as you said, she’s a minor and MIL did this when she knew OP wasn’t home.
@@lorilancaster5917Skipping that stuff is fine. It also fine to encourage adoption. I think it's a bit naive that this young girl wants to be a parent. But pressuring her is wrong.
@@danielmorton9956 Yeah, my my brother adopted his wife’s niece because it was his SIL’s second kid by a different father and they all decided it would be a good solution for the birth mother. My brother already had two sons so they adopted the little girl and called it a day on having kids. Birth mom can have contact if she wants but the kid had two stable parents.
And as you said, the most important part was that they all got together and decided it was a good idea.
Yeah nah RSlash gotta disagree with that 2nd story rating.
If I ask someone to watch my house and told them they can have *some* of the food in my house, I’m expecting some of the damn food to be eaten! Not the whole damn fridge.
And also they didn’t even watch the house that good, leaving dirty clothes and dishes all over the damn place!?
Yea nah, Op is not the AH.
Story 2: sorry RSlash, but i think you're wrong on this one. First off, she said they ate 90% of the food, not all. So that would be like $92 worth of food left over. Jack and his daughter and her friends ate $1,000 worth of food in two weeks. That's sh¡tty manners.
Second off, OP never said that his daughter could bring friends over. That's extremely rude to just invite friends over to someone else's house without the homeowner's permission. Then to completely trash the place and eat the vast majority of their food? Completely unacceptable.
I give OP 0/5 a$$h0les and Jack and his daughter 3/5 a$$h0les.
Amen!
They didn't even run the dehumidifiers like OP asked
He would have had to feed himself and his daughter anyway. And if the friends were at his house, he'd have had to feed them there.
Note: never tell rslash he can have "some" of anything. He'll take all of it...
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Story 2: Here's the thing. She said they (bf and bfs daughter) could eat SOME. Not that they could eat all. Not that they could have friends over to eat some. That THEY (2 people) could eat *some*. Besides, try and think about both a) how expensive groceries are right now, and b) how much food is in a little over $1,000. That's a decent amount of food that was taken. Adding on the fact that they trashed OPs house? OP is NTA.
Story 2 : OP is definitely NTA. She said the boyfriend and kids can eat the food, not the kid's friends too. He broke one of the golden rules of house sitting
And for anyone saying OP should have spelled things out, did they forget that she’s been dating this guy for a couple of years? He gave her the impression that he and his daughter were responsible only to throw their ruse into the wind the moment she showed trust in them.
Also, she said "SOME", not "ALL"
So OP isn't the butthole because she was clear about the food
Story 2: first of all, you got your math wrong. OP was gone for 10 days, not 12. I was reading along a bit, and it said 4 days before the 2 week mark. That's roughly a week and a half. OP said that was her MONTHLY groceries, which they ate 90% of in less than half a month. They also brought other people into OP's house without permission.
My ruling is 0.5 out of 5 buttholes to OP for poor communication and at least 2.5 out of 5 for her now ex.
And it was food for 4+ people that they ate so they ate 6 times more than normal
That next to last story sounds like a prequel to a TV movie where the guy murders the family. Stay firm on not letting Aaron move in. He's clinging like that because he knows his pregnant wife is his meal ticket.
That's what I was thinking. I am scared for the safety of OP, her daughter, and the baby, especially if daughter and baby move in with OP. However, I'd actually be even more afraid for the daughter and baby if they don't move in with OP.
There are red flags all over this one, starting with the fact that the bf and daughter likely met while she was still a minor (or among the youngest of young adults), while he was a full-fledged adult in his late-twenties/early-thirties. And, now they have a baby so he's sitting in confidence that she is more enmeshed in the relationship, more likely to put up with his abuse, and less likely to leave him, call the police, get other help, etc.
I am glad that OP has offered the daughter and baby a lifeline. I hope daughter takes it. And, I hope they all manage to stay safe in the process.
Yeah, unfortunately, once daughter and grandbaby are in OP's house, Aaron will be there ALL THE TIME, especially when OP is away from the house! OP's first responsibility is to his/her own wellbeing and peaceful household.
I'm hoping for OP's sake the daughter refuses OP's offer and OP helps in some other way to get housing for her.
Did anyone else notice that rslash skipped over the age difference between the daughter and her husband in story 5? OP’s daughter is in her early 20s and her husband is in his mid 30s. Honestly it sounds like a very manipulative and toxic relationship so I don’t blame OP for not wanting the husband in her home.
you had to look up for that story.
Not only Rslash literally skip a chuck of the story, even the updates.
OP was told that her way to phrasing things sounds like there is more than what is telling everyone. Then she clarify a lot of things:
1st- the age gap is the real reason why she doesn't want to move in, as everything about Aron was pull out of her b*tt.
2nd- Aron was never abusive, and in fact he was looking for a job the entire time and he was worried about OP's daughter and the baby, and even he wanted OP's daughter to move with her mother if is necessary while he was looking for a solution.
3rd- She then realize her daughter was not a baby anymore and denying Aron to be out of the picture is literally a self projection of how her relationship with her father was.
4th- Aron's criminal record was like a decade ago and was related to beating AP of his previous wife.
In the update, OP realize she was a complete b-hole to her daughter and Aron and she allow both to stay while sort things out, even realize Aron
@@SenseiRaisenthank you, I needed more context for this story because it didn't seem like things were adding up
@@Bob-cs8gs yes. It was really dodgy of how OP portrait things and how stubborn her daughter was. Then OP spit out everything in some updates, and then make another update for not only clarify all, but also realize she was a jerk for how she acted with her daughter out of self projection and her own issues (Basically her own father abandon her when she was young), and on top she keep saying Aron was an ex-convict without know why. Turns out he was only 2 years in jail because he beat the affair partner of his ex wife. Luckly they didn't have kids, and when ex try to push for alimony for "her kid" it turns she was pregnant with AP's baby too. That was dismissed because the time between OP beating the AP and the pregnancy didn't add up. And that was a decade ago too.
There was a lot of context missing in this narration.
Story 2: so there are a month’s worth of groceries and in 2 weeks it’s all gone, they trashed the place and Op is still the AH? She’s the one at fault for not communicating better? Huh? I didn’t know you had to tell people obvious things like don’t invite anyone to a house that’s not yours, don’t eat ALL the food if I said you can have SOME, and to clean after yourself. SMH how dare us women expect man to think and behave like a normal adult?! How dare us women not “communicate better”? R/S 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
💯👍🏿
yes, at least he should have done some cleaning, you don't let dirt accumulate in a house, and dirty dishes attract roaches and once they instal themselves it's really hard take them out, even if you clean
It's even worse when you realize this was a month's worth of groceries for a family of 4 and their occasional guests. Of the family 2 are teen boys, who are notorious for being bottomless pits when it comes to food. The 'house-sitters' were just a grown man and his teen daughter, and they managed to burn through all that food within 10 days. (OP was back 4 days before the 2-week mark)
A lot of the times content farms will put in a bad "opinion" they don't actually believe in to drive up engagement, especially if they need a boost to their numbers.
I mean, it's not like people are gonna dislike the video, so there's really no consequences to it that'll affect his livelihood.
For real, in what universe is it ok to be that damn disrespectful? That's even without the "communication issue." (Like you said, you wouldn't expect someone, let alone your partner to treat you so shamefully and basically claim weaponized incompetence. ) Small note if you look at OP's responses, this fool not only completely trashed her home and drained almost every bite of food in the house but he didn't even empty the humidifier which is one of the biggerst reasons she asked him to stay over in the first place. But it's a communication issue? Right. My favorite with the "You just have to communicate" crap is you actually communicate in black and white what you want/need and it's either:
You get ignored.
Yeah but you're a woman so you must have meant XYZ. You couldn't have meant what you just said literally.
Or: You're over reacting/being a bitch/on the rag.
5 bucks says he would NEVER pull this crap with his pals or family, and if he did than it's still a big steaming bullet dodged either way.
rSlash, you missed an important detail: yes, they could eat some of the food. THEY. Jack and the daughter. Not anyone else. Therefore, if Jack let other people eat all the food, it's Jack's responsibility to replace it.
OP is NTA, and Jack deserves a much higher score for not replacing the food and for inviting complete strangers into OP's house and completely trashing it.
Story 2: and you missed the point of why she said it wasn't a favour. Jack and his daughter lived in a one bedroom apartment while OP had a yard, a pool, a hot tub and I believe some playground type stuff aimed at young teens. Jack had told her that staying there would be like a vacation at a spa or resort, so that's why she said that. Missing nuance again.
Last story: it is impossible not to be offended by this obviously offensive thing his parents are trying to do to you, they are intentionally trying to make you serve them for the Christmas dinner to the point they are moving it a day before to make it happen. Either they don't want you there or they think if you yourself serves them then you'll be kind enough to "mistakenly" under charge them for the meal. I would tell your husband point blank that he can get his family under control or you could stay with your family for Christmas. And that's not even getting into the part where they said your Christmas present would be a big tip, like I would never speak to these people again and ask my boss to get anyone else to serve them that day because hell no.
If I was OP I would tell the boss the in-laws idea and ask if someone whose not good at the job wait on them? Let the in-laws have the impression that you will do it but 20 minutes into the dinner send hubby a text that you are with family who appreciate you and don’t see your value as a servant.
what boggles me is the fact they want a "family dinner" and have OP serve them. Clearly it indicates the in-laws doesn't think of OP their family too
I've heard this story before and there were updates. Turns out the OP is a different race than her husband and his family so there's some animosity involved. Her husband stands up for her and, if I remember correctly, sends them all back home.
This is quite possibly the first story I’ve read where if it *does* go down like this, divorce IS the solution.
If my partner let their family treat me like this, the relationship would be over.
@@RealCoolstriker64- Right? I’d be getting an annulment real fast!
Story 1: you will be if you don't tell your husband his mom and sister are banned from talking to your daughter. It wouldn't even be up for discussion they would never be allowed to talk to her again or be near your grandchild. No way was there a coincidence she just so happened to talk to your daughter about this when both her parents were gone, she even when it's far as to indirectly shame you for having her at a young age. Then actually try to snitch on you when you understandably kicked her ass out. She can't be around your kid anymore and I would take my daughter phone and block both their numbers, because she will keep trying until she guilt-tripped your daughter into giving up her child.
And OP can notify the police that they are harassing a minor. Also what if SIL respects OPs daughter’s decision and doesn’t want to adopt the child knowing that this isn’t an option? We don’t know if MIL has been recruited by her daughter or has gone rogue.
Also it’s not just the husband’s home. It’s also her home so she can kick out the MIL
I'm a little surprised that OP's SIL didn't ask her to become a surrogate, I know why because surrogacy is stupidity expensive and the SIL thinks she shouldn't have to pay because "FaMiLy"
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012
It’s daughter’s home too. Everyone except MIL had legal right to kick her out.
@@lorilancaster5917actually a good point. People like this are just as likely to be working for someone else as they are to be doing this all on their own
The $1000 of food was for the MONTH not the two weeks they were there. She expected to have more than a box of patties and some pasta left over so she wouldn't have to do another grocery shop when she got back.
So for the house sitter story, the food for two ppl I feel would have lasted. But since they had extra ppl over, more of the food would have been eaten. So yes, I do think the exe bf should compensate for that. ESPECIALLY since he allowed ppl over without OPs permission.
Story 4: answer your f*ck*ng phone and the babysitter won't have to call the police when you're 3 hours late with no explanation. If anything I'd be more concerned if a babysitter didn't call someone after being 3 hours and I wasn't answering the phone. Don't ever babysit for the person again they clearly do not respect your time and if that's how they treat people when they're in the wrong then there's no need to put that stress on you the only people I feel bad for more are those poor kids.
Also the girl is a minor and has been kept working basically overtime AND "after hours" - purposefully as it seems.
So yeah, genuinely happy to see the police taking notice Mr. and Mrs. Employer?!
Oc idk the law in OPs state but at least it should raise some red flags.
Over here you would be fined for breaking work/employment laws or could probably even get a case for child endangerment or sth idk.
The fact that on the last story they’re kicking OP out of their own holiday to be “free labor” is wild 💀
And what will they do when OP gets a job in her former position? I really want to know whether or not OPs husband had her back about this!
@@lorilancaster5917 from the sounds of it regardless of their position I don’t think the family would ever see her as more than a waitress 🤷♀️
He didn't even read the whole eddit
The guy said it was like a vacation for him and he literally only had to dump out the damn humidifier
She also said SOME food.. And he had no right to just invite someone into her house
She also said it was food that doesn't perish.. She was just buying some stock for when she and her kids came back..
💯💯💯
for story 2: what did rslash smoke? she said you can eat some, not trow a party for strangers and TRASH MY HOUSE! communication issues? absolutely, but what the boyfriend and the daugther did is inexcusable.
I feel like Rslash has let the factor meals cloud his judgement on story 2, yikes what a terrible take. That guy eat them out of house and home, and you think it's okay in this financial time of instability? You get upset about stolen lunches, but not geoceries? 😂
A months worth of food was eaten in less than 2 weeks and rslash thinks it's reasonable bc OP said he can have *SOME* of the food. Mind-blowing.
Fr I never really understand people who are like "Well 90% is *_technically_* some, soooo" 🤦♀️
you know rslash missed the mark on the story when both the youtube comments and reddit disagree with his weird take which says something considering youtube commenters and redditors are at odds with everything when it comes to aita
Story 2, op DID specify! She said "you can eat SOME of the food." The BF went way beyond that.
*First OP:* I wonder if OP's SIL knew her mom was pressuring her (MIL) granddaughter to give up her baby for her (SIL)? OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* One could argue that OP should've given her now ex and his daughter ground rules, but ... at least to me, I'd assume the unwritten rules would be implied (clean up after yourselves; don't eat all our food (replenish if necessary); _don't invite guests over_). OP is NTA. She also should've had him pay for a cleaning service.
*Third OP:* OP's parents don't like her husband. That's the only reason I can think of as to why they'd pick a place that wouldn't be accessible to him. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* Why was the dad mad at OP when he showed up _three hours_ later than what was agreed on _and_ didn't answer OP's calls? The nerve! OP is NTA.
*Sixth OP:* To quote rSlash: "What did I just read?!" OP is NTA. Her in-laws can eat McDonald's for Christmas dinner. TF?!
No house rules means they can destroy the house and eat over $1000 in food -smooth brain Rslash
About about the fifth story? I believe OP and her daughter should get away from Aaron as it seemed he groomed the daughter and is a violent man.
When will people learn one is not entitled to others kids... ? Wanna kid... ADOPT...
That's what they were trying to do with OP's unborn grandchild. I can't blame the infertile couple for not wanting to go through an agency. The scummy part (to me, at least) was not accepting a "NO" from OP's daughter and trying to manipulate her into giving up the child.
@@danielbrant6740 yeah the correct way would be sitting them down and say that her child you can be hands-on aunt or something like that, not enable her
@@danielbrant6740and what if SIL understood this? Since it was just MIL in the confrontation, I wonder if she was acting on her daughter’s behalf or took measures in her own hands? Either way, like you said, there is a way to handle this and MIL chose poorly.
@@danielbrant6740it was scummy from the jump because they knew she was keeping the kid. Even asking is manipulative because she’s so young. It’s so so fucking entitled and beyond rude to even think you can ask for someone’s CHILD. that’s something that has to be offered up.
@@danielbrant6740I agree. It’s not an unreasonable conversation to have with the 17 year old. Adoptions like this can work out quite well. How she went about it, and being rude about OP’S life was out of line.
I think its time for rslash to have another break cause he's just been having so many bad takes these past couple of AITA videos.
I know I’m missing out but ever since his commentary about the mustard guy story from Best of, I don’t listen to his comments.
Yup it makes me so annoyed that I click off. Not gonna finish this video after him blatantly missing the point and leaving out part of the post for story two.
There’s an edit to OPs post that he totally left out which points the bf to looking like a gold digging mooch
I feel like maybe he should just take a break from AITA posts, since those are always his most controversial videos
I agree.
More like you should take a internet break cause you can't deal when you hear someone has a different opinion
Story 2: NTA. Note to all of rSlash’s friends and relatives: Don’t let him house sit. He thinks everything in your house is his to eat and use.
Story 2: His daughter invited all her friends over and got through all that food between them. They clearly took a mile when given an inch.
Okay so OP explained A LOT in an edit that changes so much. For some reason, Rslash only read the part that made OP sound bad and ignored all the other stuff that explains everything. She literally explained exactly WHY housesitting for her isn’t a favor, but is more beneficial for the BF. AND it covers the whole thing about how some of the food should be for the house-sitters. Here:
ETA: this may make me sound bad but I wouldn't consider him house sitting as doing me any favors.
All he has to do was dump out the dehumidifier when it got full. I could have asked my neighbor to do that for $200. He and his daughter live in a small apartment and coming to my house feels like a vacation to them (their words, not mine). I have a 2 story home with 6 bedrooms on the beach, with a hot tub, a game room, cable and high speed internet. They were essentially getting a free vacation and the only thing they had to do was dump the dehumidifier once a day. I more or less asked for the $1000 based off principle alone. I don't expect him to give me the money. But since he was not understanding my viewpoint on my it was acceptable, I asked him for the $1000 so he could open his eyes and understand how big of a deal it truly is. I did the big shop before leaving because I had work obligations scheduled for when I returned and going out and doing a big shop in the middle of 4 showings and mandatory seminars would have been a nightmare. I didn't buy any fridge stuff outside of what I knew they would eat. Everything I bought was nonperishables, box dinners and meat for the freezer. I didn't leave him over the food. I lef him because after I tried explaining why this was wrong of him, he accused me of throwing my privilege/money in his face- knowing he's not as financially stable as me and making him and his daughter feel bad for "doing nothing wrong". I have never thrown money in his face, never asked him for anything and have paid for everything in the past 2 years because he could not. Helped him with multiple bills/things his daughter needed without question. So, he made me feel stupid and I won't tolerate it.
Story 2: R/Slash, I’m autistic. I have gotten in trouble for not picking up on queues/being too literal. I understand misunderstandings, but even *I* know she said ‘some’ and MEANT *SOME* , not ALL. It is disrespectful to eat ALL of the groceries. She’s not the ahole for feeling upset about that. The husband is the ahole completely.
Last story is wild, lol. Red flags the size of skyscrapers
Story 1: I'm kicking you out of MY house!
I had a roommate years ago whose mother was in an abusuve relationship. Roommate had a younger sibling that was given to a relative at birth, against mother's wishes.
Story 1: it sucks that the SIL is infertile, but the fact the MIL went right into the shaming with the daughter is disgusting. Like yeah you can ask the soon to be teen mom what her plans are cause she should have the right to pick how her child is raised in the future, (adoption, keep, etc.). but as soon as she picks « raise the baby on their own » box then you CANNOT demand her to give up the baby even to an infertile family member
And she went straight to the minor instead of going through OP first. OPs daughter has no relation to the MIL and has no need to have this nor any conversation with her.
To be fair, I doubt the 17 year old knows the struggles they will face raising a kid so young. Rationally it makes sense to let the SIL adopt but it's tricky.
@@awsomo53if the daughter wants to put the kid up for adoption, she has to get the baby’s daddy on board. I also think she would want to go through adoption lawyers and interview potential parent(s).
@@lorilancaster5917 legally she's a child. By law, the child is a product of rape.
@@awsomo53by what logic? They don’t mention the bfs age and very well could be the same age as OPs daughter.
2nd story: Is no one else mentioning that there was also trash in OPs bedroom and her kids bedrooms? Like, its 1 thing to forget to clean up in the common areas, its another to go into their private spaces, even if youre house sitting, and create a mess in there, regardless of if you clean it up later or not. That feels massively invasive or at least disrespectful
2nd story : it's funny how drastically RSlash changed his scoring cause he has done this story 😆 OP said they could gave SOME. Plus,the ex and his daughter go through more food then both OP and her 3 kids with those 2 included? If i was house-sitting and someone did the same thing, there would be no way in hell id eat EVERYTHING. Also, why were OP's and her daughters clothes everywhere when they weren't here to make the mess? Did the daughter and her friends have a lil fashion clothes, using their clothes and not even bothering to return everything? Is OP positive no one took anything since the ex obviously didn't care what happened. Why does it matter if OP makes more money? She's not the one who ate more food the the 6 of them combined? Also, also, if it's not your house, don't invite/let people into the home unless the homeowner is aware and approves.
All of this
Rslash OP in the second story said some of the food not 90% of the food
I think I figured out why RSlash is confused on story 2;
OP buys groceries once a month it sounds, with her budget being roughly $1k every time.
Her boyfriend was supposed to house sit for 2 weeks, so even if he and his kid ate 3 times every day, there should still be enough food for the remaining 2 weeks and 4 days of the month, but there's almost nothing left. These two and his daughter's friends ate 1 months worth of food in 10 days.
I don't think demanding all the money back for the food is quite appropriate but demanding reimbursement for what was consumed beyond the inital agreement is definitely appropriate.
Story 2: she DID specify how much he could eat. Also, what kind of parent allows their child to invite friends into someone else’s home, eats all the food, and doesn’t replenish it? OP did not offer to throw a party for his daughter. They have been together a while and the bf I’m sure is aware that OP keeps a strict food budget in her home if she is only shopping once a month. He knew this and didn’t care. It’s filled with red flags. And to gaslight her that she makes more money than him? Also, it doesn’t matter whether or not he knew exactly what day she was coming home. He knows she likes a clean house and he didn’t do any bit of cleaning while she was gone. That’s a total red flag that if they were married, he would take zero responsibility in cleaning up after himself and his kid. He’s a super irresponsible adult and she should be grateful she saw the signs now
Story 3: I applaud Op for sticking with the husband and kids and not begrudgingly going with her parents, as it’s obvious the parents don’t like the guy.
And to a degree OP. She gave them grandkids. Her job is done.
But u fail to recognize that it’s a FAMILY vacation. The parents prior to this vacation always had it at locations that were accessible but the 1 time they chose to go there, they’re are seen as the bad guys… that’s not fair
@@thatglassesguy2582 they’re not seen as the bad guys for having an inaccessible vacation.
They’re seen as the bad guys for feeling entitled to Op’s kids. Parents want to spend Christmas with their children, when OP said “no, they’re staying with us” that SHOULD have been the end of it.
@@RealCoolstriker64or when she simply said they’ll do their own thing. That included the kids.
@@RealCoolstriker64 So what i'm getting from this story is that the kids will always be barred from experiencing certain activities that the father can't participate in. The location is obviously not really 'inaccessible', it's a mountain resort, they ain't gonna be hiking up there. The problem seem to be mostly about the disabled father not being able to ski or enjoy most of the snow activities up there. So, since the father can't enjoy it, the kids will also not be allowed to enjoy it, even if provided with the oppotunity to experience it by the relatives.
Yea, i really don't think this is gonna be limited to christmas at all, i think this family will never take a vacation anywhere where the father can't enjoy it due to his disability. And so, where the father can't participate, the kids will also not be allowed to be taken by relatives to have that experience. Kids will simply be barred from all such activities that the father can't participate growing up. Which is an ahole thing to do too in my opinion. Sure, being together as a family in holidays is important, but they could have made an exception for one christmas...
R/ that second story she did not say "eat the food" she said "you can have SOME food" that means have a meal or two not "invite the friends and help yourself to dame near everything"
Story 1 : NTA.. lifetime ban from the house is in order for the monster in law... good that op husband has op back.. yup i repeat lifetime ban for the monster in law and honestly im petty i would take it further and get a restraining order against her as well..
Story 2 : NTA.. well now you know what a future with that guy is gonna be..
Story 3 : NTA... what those parents are doing is " HAHA your a cripple " .. good on op having her husband back...
Story 4 : NTA.. 830 your job is done.. let the authorities deal with the child abandoners..dont ever do them any favors ever again..
Story 5 : NTA.. this is the monster in law powerplay against op .. dont back down op..dont let it get to you..no means no..
She just wanted to expirence motherhood like everyone else ! This is such a mysognist take
@@Diamondr11Blue then fn ADOPT....many kids in foster care would love to have a parent....
@@Diamondr11Blue feminist says what !!
@@thetruth1816 I was parroting a typical deranged reddit reposnse. It's satire
@Diamondr11Blue and I was responding to that response.. I don't respond to reedit since well I got a permanent ban from reedit so..
I've house sat for family and friends before. at no point did I EVER assume I could eat my way through their pantry OR invite over all my friends so they could go hog wild on the fridge. I didn't automatically assume that "I'm here now, so if it's edible I'm free to it." that's like, basic etiquette for spending time in a house that isn't yours, even if you ARE close acquaintances or family. And, on top of that, I cleaned up after myself. I did the dishes, I ran everything I used through the laundry, I did some basic sweeping of common areas, I offered to top up on things that were running low (like groceries or cleaners or paper products), I made sure everything was at minimum the state in which I found it. OP is nta, her ex and his daughter and daughter's friends suck. that's trashy behavior.
Story Two: There was also an edit or addition to the story where OP stated that, most of the food, went to waste. It was left out, they didn't even try to save what they cooked for leftovers. They purposely wasted the food. Pots and pans half full of food was left all over the kitchen and was spoiled. They completely were in the wrong, not OP.
The fifth story, OP's daughter was eighteen when she first met her future husband who would have been well into his early thirties. What is a man that age doing with a girl who is a fresh adult? The fact that he's an abuser is not surprising to me. He probably couldn't find a woman his age that would put up with his abusive bullshit and found somebody who was young and inexperienced.
I hope OP's daughter moves back into her family home with their parent because I feel that if she spent time away from her controlling, abusive predator of a husband- that she'll realise the truth of her relationship with him and will pluck up the courage to file for divorce and say goodbye to that relationship for good.
My heart breaks for OP's daughter. The girl is in an abusive and controlling relationship with a man that preyed upon her because she was young and inexperienced in relationships and life. When I was 18 and a man in his thirties approached me and wanted to date me, he was labelled a creep in my mind and I did my best to try to keep a distance. OP's daughter needs help and I feel that if she were to go to her parent's home that this would be the perfect chance for her to get herself help- for both herself and her baby.
Story 3: Their issue is thinking that whatever OP planned won't be as fun as a ski resort. I'm pretty sure whatever OP planned will be the best Christmas ever.
I'm just glad that OP had the husband's back
Weird that the in laws didn't realize OP's nuclear family would prefer to just do their own thing rather than exclude her husband. That's an obvious alternative.
@@fdm2155and that they really thought OP would just hand over all the children? Especially seeing as this may be the youngest child’s first Christmas?
"Hey there, Toots! You lookin' mighty pregnant..." sent me 😂😂
She said he could eat some of the food.
You can have some of the food in the house = Rslash saying she deserves some of the blame because she told them to eat it all
Rslash you glossed over the ff facts:
* she said some food not all food
* she expected to feed 2 people not a horde of people
* he left the house in disarray during those 12 days
* she buys food in bulk that's why she spent 1k on groceries. She budgets her money so she probably got a lot of stuff on her coupons and bulk pricing.
House sitter story: I'm kinda not surprised to see the edit missing in the video, because Dabney doesnt get to be as mad at OP. In the edit, OP reiterates that she only really needed the dehumidifiers emptied, and she was willing to pay $200 to a neighbor to come in and empty the dehumidifiers for the 2 weeks, but her ex wanted to make a "mini-vacation" in her house, so she offered for him and his daughter to stay while she was gone. Also in the edit, OP clarified that most of the food she bought was non-perishables or frozen, and anything fresh would have been what she expect to be eaten.
OP also clarified in a separate comment that a large amount of the food was wasted because her ex didnt refrigerate any of the leftover food, just leaving it in the pans it was cooked in sitting on the counter.
But like, who does any of that? Who says "I'll watch your house for you, it'll be like a vacation for us" then proceeds to wreck the house, leaving dirty laundry everywhere, leaving dirty dishes on every surface, leaving lefover food in pans on the counter, having house guests over at all, and literally eating all of the food in the house.
If a friend did that, I might have to put distance between us before even thinking about forgiving them. A romantic partner though? I couldn't imagine living with someone like that. I'm no where near as clean as OP sounds, but the way her ex treated her home that would be a dealbreaker for me. I wasn't even that gross when I left home for college.
He should at least give her half the food money. She had an entire months worth of groceries for 4 people, and two people went through ALL of it in less than two weeks. That's insane.
Story 2: You LITERALLY read her saying "SOME of the food", and also she NEVER said they could have people over. Literally so far NTA it's crazy how much you misread. Double read the posts
Putting the food aside, if i am house sitting i would never let the house get messy or trashed! I dont mind messing up my personal space but never someone else's
So if anyone is ever invited to stay at R/slash's house make sure to throw a party with random poeple he doesnt know, Clean out all food in the pantry, rummage thru his families things while completely trashing the place. Then just leave and say you'll clean it up later.
1- NTA, you can’t just guilt trip people into giving you their unborn babies!
Who buys food before going away? Most of that food would 100% go off
Not true depends on what you buy. Most foods last longer then 10 days if you out here wasting food that’s on you
The only time I babysat and the parents arrived THAT late, they were stuck in very heavy traffic. But they didn't leave me wondering. They texted the situation and paid me for the extra time. That's what you're supposed to do when you leave a sitter and cone back later than expected. I would've assumed the parents were lying in a ditch too.
Last story: NTA, I work in childcare and would be pissed if relatives/inlaws told me “for Christmas we’re all going out as a family! since you work with kids you’re going to stay behind and babysit all the kids all day, your Christmas gift will be the money we pay you!”
Story 2: I was all set to disagree with Rslash's verdict; until she said "He's not doing me any favors by house sitting."
This breakup is like the Matrix; everybody dodging bullets.
I think you meant story 2
@@sailorstar3148
You're right.
Edited, thanks.
Afaik, the guy said staying at her place would be like a vacation or somethin, so yeah, it wasnt a favor
He asked to stay there. He lives in a crappy apt in a shitty neighborhood. She lives in a 6 bedroom beach house with a games room.
7:16
RSlash, youre DEAD wrong on the Judgement. OP said he could eat SOME of the food. Not invite people over & eat everything
"Hey there TOOTS, you're lookin' mighty pregnant!" I'm dying over here 🤣
Ski Resort - OP might have been a bit hasty in her judgement. Most Ski resorts are EXTREMELY handicap-accessible. Imagine you own a resort, you book a party of seven people for a week. You absolutely know that of those seven guests, at least one will twist or sprain an ankle on day one, and be hobbling around for a week on a crutch, lol. If there were no accommodations or alternative activities, their reviews would be a dumpster-fire inside a week and they'd have no bookings. Not to mention, vacation resorts are a HUGE target for ADA litigation. There are lawyers who will book a vacation, then notice the rails on the staircases are ½" too high, and file a law suit which will get settled instantly to cover the cost of their vacation, lol. It sucks, it's litigation trolling... but this is very common, so places like that are meticulous about accessibility code compliance, just so they don't get exploited by shady ambulance chasers. (A side note, most lawyers are more ethical than this, it's a small subset that pull crap like that, but while few in numbers, they are prolific in their filings).
I don't know the extent of the husband's injuries, his interest in other activities, or the specific resort and what they offer. But I would not assume he was unable to go and enjoy himself. I'm sure they have a hot tub, a sauna, a masseuse, there are likely handicapped-accessible sledding or snowmobiling tours, hunting trips, ice fishing... these places usually have tons of activities because bookings happen months in advance, and even with snow machines, it's still all very weather-dependent. If they only offered skiing, they'd be out of business quickly.
Now if the family decides not to go, that's fine, that may still not be the right trip for them, or may not be worth the expense under these conditions. If the grandparents wanted to take the kids on a ski trip, that's fine too, but they should book it after the holidays.
Nobody is being an a-hole here, I just see some good intentions and poor planning.
Story 2 is giving major “She said yes to letting him hold her hand, so obviously she wanted him to SA her” vibes. Telling someone they can eat some of your food does not equate to them ransacking the entire house. Who eats 1k worth of someone else’s food in 2 weeks anyway?? I’m glad they broke up, that dude was waaay too comfortable disrespecting his partner in her own home as soon as she turns her back 😂
Isk if u missed tht part but r/slash OP says around 12:10 that Aaron is in his mid 30s lets say 35 and her daughter is 22 so thats a 13y age gap and then at 12:30 she says they have been on and off ever since she was 18
So when she was 18 he was already 31
So a 31y old dude was dating a barely turned adult
Tht too assuming they werent dating bfore she turned 18
Honestly m not surprised OP hates Aaron and cant blame her though m surprised she didnt strongly go against the relationship
S2: Dude, no one in their right mind looks at a *month's* worth of food for *4 people* (bearing in mind he _knows_ how much she regularly buys) and thinks "yup, that's definitely all for me and my daughter to eat".
They ate a month's worth of food in *10 days*- not 12- invited more people around and trashed her house. He also didn't take care of the main thing he was there for- the dehumidifiers.
OP said "some" you read it yourself.
OP is NTA, the bf is.
Story 2: op didn't say, 'you can eat the food', op said they could eat SOME of the food. 'Some', doesn't mean, help yourself to 90% of the food that's meant to last a MONTH, and have a party. They absolutely need to reburse op. =/
If I remember correctly, on the 2nd to last story, in an update, the OP reevaluate her feelings and decided to let Aaron stay as well. Also in the last story, it turned out it was because the OP was from something like a different social class and it was also Racism.
I don’t really think that’s a good decision based on how she describes the man and how he was a 30 year old dating an 18 year old.
Thanks for the update on the last story. I know OP hasn’t been married long but honestly, I would be looking for a divorce lawyer. Toxic people like that don’t change and even if the husband doesn’t share his family’s beliefs, it’s still going to cause problems in the relationship and he might come to resent OP for driving a wedge between him and his family.
Story 2-Rslash, you need to rethink your take pretty seriously. You said, with a straight face, that if you were housesitting and told the food was fine to eat, you would eat more than the amount it takes for the homeowner to return. In fact, you would eat, or allow others to eat, so much that the homeowner and her CHILD would have nothing to eat when they returned. WTF dude? Also, under no circumstances should anyone who does not actually live in the home (ESPECIALLY if they are not the homeowner) invite people into a house they are only watching. And while I'll give you the cleaning thing because it is true, I'm also pretty sure she was honest with her boyfriend that wshe didn't know for sure when she was getting back. Just that it should be within 2 weeks
Edit to add: the more I think about it, the worse it gets. They ate FOUR PEOPLE'S WORTH OF FOOD IN UNDER 2 WEEKS!!! Mostly because they decided it was OK to invite HIS daughter's friends over for a party. Rslash, what if OP bought food that far out because that's when she could afford to bulk purchase? I know she says in her post she can afford to replace the food while her ex-bf can't. But what happened could have been disastrous if OP wasn't able to afford to replace (which most people can't afford to replace) $1,000 of food
Fifth story: OP is TA. I base that assessment on the edit that OP added, which rSlash didn't see at the time of recording. By OP's own admission, the husband has been on the straight and narrow since he was 24, his anger issues aren't actually "hair trigger," not actually possessive or jealous, and that overall he's been a wonderful husband to OP's daughter. OP's only real issue is the age gap, which they don't have any real explanation as to why it bothers them. I will agree that it's OP's house, so OP is free to let in whoever they want, but they clearly lied and stretched truths about the husband to justify their refusal in their initial post.
“hEY THERE TOOTS” caught me off guard. I choked. Lmao
Story 2 NTA... boyfirend need to be a man and take responsability not act like the kid he has!
Ok so this doesn't really have a whole lot to do with the 2nd story, but why would you purchase two weeks worth of groceries, when you're expected to be out of the house for at least two weeks?
That does seem strange. Unless she buys only dry and frozen foods.
She buys in bulk so she can meal prep and only has to go to the store once a month. It’s actually much more cost effective than having to go each week.
Story 2: NTA is 100% the only answer. Rslash, I have a big family that has been up north and lives in the south. With that I can say no matter where you are, $1000 worth of groceries would feed my family of 6 for 3 months, with those last few weeks being kinda rough snack and dinner wise. They were literally just greedy. 💀
Edit: $800 in groceries would feed my family of 6 for like 2 ish months, back when I was living at home. I’ve only been where I’m at since May 2023.
If I came home to a massive mess in my house that was clean when i got home, I would lose my crap. If i got home to that and then saw my fridge, freezer, and cabinets almost empty when i did a months worth of grocery shopping 2 weeks ago.... I would've yelled at him. It's easier to pick things up every day than do a bunch of cleaning at once. Especially in someone elses house
I think people are getting too fired up on Story 2’s asshole score. I think he’s totally right that there’s communication issues both ways. OP is definitely like 5% in the wrong where the boyfriend is 95%. Worth the breakup. But she definitely deserves like a 0.5/5.
Apparently, he should have read the full update. The food thing wasn't just them eating all the food. They would cook stuff, and instead of putting it in the fridge for leftovers, they let it sit out and rot. So there was moldy food amongst all the other trash.
AND it was clarified that they could have "some" food. He decided to invite other kids into the home, and let them waste a whole months worth of food for 5 people in two weeks. Please, reevaluate.
The boyfriend and his daughter share a small one bedroom apartment. They got to stay at a six bedroom beach house with a swimming pool, hot tube and game room. In exchange all they had to do was tend the humidifiers, which they didn’t even bother to do. Why are you giving them a pass for not only disrespecting OP’s home and possessions by trashing the house, having parties, wasting/going through an entire month’s groceries in 10 days?!? Would you be as accommodating if they did that at your home?
@@melissaconnellyjones2622 tell them!! I sure as hell wouldn't! And I wouldn't do that to someone else either!