Your First Colonoscopy is one you'll never forget, just ask Bob Stromberg. Then go watch "I'm A Pretty Big Deal" by Bob Stromberg only at www.drybarcomedy.com/stromberg
Man, did this guy bring back memories. And for your 50th birthday...you get a colonoscopy!!! You can only laugh when you tell others. The whole experience from start to finish is one you'll never forget and...you get to do it again at 60!!!
You are sooo right about it being an unforgettable experience! The procedure itself isn't too bad, but OMG the "clean out" before hand is brutal! You have to master walking/creeping to the Loo with cheeks tightly clenched!
Weird, I just got a colonoscopy this morning. He left out how disgusting the drink is and how you have to fast the day before the procedure. Pro-tip: buy the fancy toilet paper
Yeah it totally sucks that they didn't include the disgusting the fluid they have to drink and I've been getting colonoscopies since I was nine and I'm 38 and I fully agree with the fancy toilet paper
I remember i was trying to lighten up my experience with a joke.. Big mistake. I said " you got some pretty big finger there doc'..." I recieved no laughs. I just made it more awkward lol
Yeah...it's a horrible experience. Last year had my first at the VA hospital. They told me to bring another person to drive me home because they knock you out otherwise you HAVE to do it awake. My wife was sick so guess which one I got. 10 mins in the doctor couldn't find polyps and it hurt like hell so I'm begging HER to finish. Which she did. 10 minutes after that. Best part is the recovery room where all you hear are long, loud farts coming from the unfortunate souls who have gone before you. The nurse told me I couldn't leave until I passed the air out of my system. Well, the trauma of being violated talked my anus into shutting tighter than a gasket. I couldn't fart to save my life. I laid there pushing and grunting and after 5 mins the nurse said I could get dressed and go into a private bathroom and try to pass the air. But ol Mr. Anus was not having it and flat out refused. Now they are not supposed to let you leave until you pass the air but they had an assembly line going of people going in and out so they let me leave. Well, the colonoscopy area was on the second floor and not knowing where the stairs were, I had to take the elevator down to reach the exit. My gut hurt like hell but I kept waiting for the opportune moment to get into an empty elevator in case I farted the scary "did you just sh*t yourself???" colonoscopy roar of doom. I did not. I did not walking to my car which was parked about 1/4 mile from the main hospital bldg.. I did not driving the 25 mins it took to get home. But I did when I walked into my house and went to tell my wife what a horrible experience it was and to say I was still full of air. It was at that exact moment my dogs who were happy daddy was home were jumping up and down behind me, bouncing into me, which I think triggered to release of the air. One ran away and the other tilted his head sideways like dogs do and just stared at me asking me with his eyes..."did you just sh*t yourself??" I did not. It was just air but after holding it almost an hour, letting it out was heaven on earth. I will never get another colonoscopy ever again.
Oh I’m so sorry you had a bad experience.❤ I’ve had to have many because I have a bowel disease. The best part of the colonoscopy is the anesthesia and the pleasant wake up afterwards. Afterwards, I always celebrate by getting something fun to eat and drink. ❤
Too bad the VA didn't offer you "Cologard." A box comes in the mail. You place the cup from the box on the rim of the toilet. You sh*t in that. Send it off to FEDEX to be tested by a scientific lab. Done.
@@IPlayOneOnT.V. They did and said I still needed to go the the VA hospital for the colonoscopy. Maybe the person testing was having a bad day and I got spite failed so I would have to go in for a colonoscopy. But as I said, I will NEVER do that again.
I had to start having "the procedure" in my early 40's. For the first one they made me real happy but didn't knock me out. So I'm laying on my side, watching the camera cruise through my large intestine. Quite an experience.
Bob Stormberg was extremely funny. His name also suits him, but I think the funniest thing about this comedy special was the one person in the background with the laugh that sounded like a door that hasn't been oiled in fifty years. I'm sorry if that person comes to this video and sees my comment, but that laugh really put me in mind of Mrs. Falty from Falty Towers.
All my life I have seen cartoons of people laughing so hard they spit out what they were drinking and I never heard anything that funny until you talked about losing computer files. My protein drink almost went on my new oriental rug. Thankfully, I was able to contain it, but just barely! LOL! Thank you for the laugh!!!
I remember i was trying to lighten up the situation with a joke.. Big mistake. I said " you got some pretty big finger there doc'..." I recieved no laughs
Billions of people throughout history have average life expectancy of 30 (1800), 46 (1950) without being violated by a machine, compare to 71 (2015) and now 75. Just sayin.
@@kaorynguyen6812 @Kaory Nguyễn Well, in 1800 men were exploring and taming a savage world; 1950 men had been in WWII and Korea and in 1971 men started being raised by women and pussies. You do the math. Just say'n...
@@kaorynguyen6812 The short life expectancy was due to high infant mortality. More children are able to life to adulthood now which makes the life expectancy go up. Many of my own ancestors lived to be 70's and above while quite a few of their children died before the age of 5 from various causes. Life span and life expectancy are two different things.
My dad has colon cancer in family so he gets it done every 2 years (even though doctors recommend every 5-10 years) at this point he jokes with the doctor doing it.
It's not until you've had a colonoscopy that you appreciate how funny this is. I must have a really weird sense of humour. This was my experience. I was asked to lay on a table in the foetal position. The doctor then inserted this chrome device into by anus and started moving it around. The problem was that I must have had a lot of trapped wind andevery time this device moved it created just enough space to release the said wind. Well, not to put too fine a point on it, it sounded like is was farting the Trumpet Voluntary or, in my case, the Trumpet Involuntary. It was at this point my sense of humour took charge. I couldn't help it. I was laughing so hard the tears were rolling down my face. The attending medical staff were totally unmoved by this outburst which, in a way, made it even funnier. Just the other side of the door there were other 'victims' waiting for the same procedure. I hope I calmed any nerves they may have had because they must have thought I was having so much fun. Then, the doctor got called away momentarily. Don't forget I'm still lying there in the foetal position etc. He said, "Excuse me, just stay there for a moment." WHERE DID HE THINK I WAS GOING TO GO IN THAT CONDITION???? On this occasion I didn't have to suffer from the medical equivalent ofMr. Muscle Sink and Plughole Unblocker. That came some years later when I had an acute bout of diverticulitis. To say it was experience is an understatement. Trust me, the 10 yards between my bed and the loo seemed like a marathon especially with buttocks clenced in a vice like grip. Happy days! Thank God for a sense of humour. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They actually have A pill that is A camera. I never looked into much because I figured it'd be expensive. I'm 50,read the article when I was in my 20's.. I think.🤔 But,it was A science magazine, the other 2 articles I remember were A plastic that remembers it's shape,so like if you get into A fender bender,your fender would just reshape itself, & the 3D printer . So,it's been A long time,don't know what became of the pill camera. Probably not cost effective or for the rich .
When I was nine I had my first ever colonoscopy and I've been getting them every year and I'm 38. I hate the prep it is beyond that nasty especially the golytely which is a full gallon of fluid I would rather choke down three bottles of magnesium citrate then drink golytely.
Drugs are always sold in metric.. With the exception of ounces, quarter pounds/pounds.. Its always in grams or kilograms, and the scales are set to metric. And even when you're buying an ounce or a pound, the scale weighing it will say 28 grams or 448 grams. Or an "8th" of an ounce of weed, they will show you 3.5grams on the scale
@@spenck7740 Most drugs are from foreign countries, everyone else uses metric. Makes sense it's part of the drug world ,especially blow. Don't know where that person's been living, not to know that .
who let the squeaky hinge into the room???
I think someone in the audience is dieing... 😂
it's a lady in the audience, they mentioned it in another video from the same night
@@brucetenhave6952 Yes, thank you. It was a joke.
**squeak**
**squeak**
**squeak**
**squeak**
"garden hose with a camcorder"...priceless!
anyone got any WD40 for that squeaky hinge?
Got three brand new containers of 250ml in my room.
It might be enough.
Who is the squeaky wheel omg XD??
I'm dying lmao
@@Sam-zy8fz same 🤣
Sounding like a swing
Lol I thought it was a dying seal
she is on other vids too
The squeaky laugh made this even funnier 😂
Oh, I thought someone was wheeling an old drinks trolley around..
Oh my gosh!! That's crazy. Is that real? How can he keep concentrating? That would totally throw me off!! 🤣
Why is there a dying moose in the room
I kept waiting for him to say, "Are you okay ma'am? Can we get you some oxygen or something?"
Man, did this guy bring back memories. And for your 50th birthday...you get a colonoscopy!!! You can only laugh when you tell others. The whole experience from start to finish is one you'll never forget and...you get to do it again at 60!!!
I have to have one every year. You're a lucky bastard! 😂
You are sooo right about it being an unforgettable experience! The procedure itself isn't too bad, but OMG the "clean out" before hand is brutal! You have to master walking/creeping to the Loo with cheeks tightly clenched!
@@nunyabizness9594 me too
Uncomfortable and degrading. Luckily I was put out before they did anything
Lol his facial reaction/transition between 2:02-2:26 is perfect. Absolutely hilarious.
"... how many millilitres are in an inch..." 😅🤣😂
Weird, I just got a colonoscopy this morning. He left out how disgusting the drink is and how you have to fast the day before the procedure. Pro-tip: buy the fancy toilet paper
Yeah it totally sucks that they didn't include the disgusting the fluid they have to drink and I've been getting colonoscopies since I was nine and I'm 38 and I fully agree with the fancy toilet paper
The most expensive toilet paper with the aloe infused in it... F^&%, I had one this morning again...
Use Baby wipes
Baby wipes are nice to have but you can't flush them down the toilet
An original master I love this guys delivery
There is no way I will ever volunteer for a colonoscopy. In fact, I will probably tattoo the words "EXIT ONLY" where the Sun don't shine.
They need to stop letting that seal into the club...
LMFAO
I remember i was trying to lighten up my experience with a joke.. Big mistake. I said " you got some pretty big finger there doc'..." I recieved no laughs. I just made it more awkward lol
spenc k My dad and I used to laugh and say we were going to see Asian doctors because they generally have smaller fingers.
😂😂
Yeah...it's a horrible experience. Last year had my first at the VA hospital. They told me to bring another person to drive me home because they knock you out otherwise you HAVE to do it awake. My wife was sick so guess which one I got. 10 mins in the doctor couldn't find polyps and it hurt like hell so I'm begging HER to finish. Which she did. 10 minutes after that. Best part is the recovery room where all you hear are long, loud farts coming from the unfortunate souls who have gone before you. The nurse told me I couldn't leave until I passed the air out of my system. Well, the trauma of being violated talked my anus into shutting tighter than a gasket. I couldn't fart to save my life. I laid there pushing and grunting and after 5 mins the nurse said I could get dressed and go into a private bathroom and try to pass the air. But ol Mr. Anus was not having it and flat out refused. Now they are not supposed to let you leave until you pass the air but they had an assembly line going of people going in and out so they let me leave. Well, the colonoscopy area was on the second floor and not knowing where the stairs were, I had to take the elevator down to reach the exit. My gut hurt like hell but I kept waiting for the opportune moment to get into an empty elevator in case I farted the scary "did you just sh*t yourself???" colonoscopy roar of doom. I did not. I did not walking to my car which was parked about 1/4 mile from the main hospital bldg.. I did not driving the 25 mins it took to get home. But I did when I walked into my house and went to tell my wife what a horrible experience it was and to say I was still full of air. It was at that exact moment my dogs who were happy daddy was home were jumping up and down behind me, bouncing into me, which I think triggered to release of the air. One ran away and the other tilted his head sideways like dogs do and just stared at me asking me with his eyes..."did you just sh*t yourself??" I did not. It was just air but after holding it almost an hour, letting it out was heaven on earth.
I will never get another colonoscopy ever again.
Oh I’m so sorry you had a bad experience.❤ I’ve had to have many because I have a bowel disease.
The best part of the colonoscopy is the anesthesia and the pleasant wake up afterwards. Afterwards, I always celebrate by getting something fun to eat and drink. ❤
Too bad the VA didn't offer you "Cologard." A box comes in the mail. You place the cup from the box on the rim of the toilet. You sh*t in that. Send it off to FEDEX to be tested by a scientific lab. Done.
@@IPlayOneOnT.V. They did and said I still needed to go the the VA hospital for the colonoscopy. Maybe the person testing was having a bad day and I got spite failed so I would have to go in for a colonoscopy. But as I said, I will NEVER do that again.
I had to start having "the procedure" in my early 40's. For the first one they made me real happy but didn't knock me out. So I'm laying on my side, watching the camera cruise through my large intestine. Quite an experience.
He has a Bob Newhart vibe. Good job. :)
Who the heck decided to practice their turkey call during the show
I can't even hear it over myself.
52, and I’ve only had to do cologaurd. No scope......yet
Love his timing and delivery.
Bob Stormberg was extremely funny. His name also suits him, but I think the funniest thing about this comedy special was the one person in the background with the laugh that sounded like a door that hasn't been oiled in fifty years.
I'm sorry if that person comes to this video and sees my comment, but that laugh really put me in mind of Mrs. Falty from Falty Towers.
Had the scope at 25. And 50. And 53. And every 3 years until there are no polyps. This guy is hilarious.
*25?!*
@@SLOTHSRIDEUNICORNS I was real sick. It was diagnostic
@@7munkee Badass.
This guy's hilarious. Good stuff, Dry Bar!
“ From here!?!” Killed me!
Very funny! Loved it.
That's pretty hysterical I love it
Wow, this guy's fantastic.
I totally agree. You can tell he is a great guy too.
I hope we get to see more from him. That was very funny
I really needed this laugh!!! Off to my procedure tomorrow 😂😂😂
I had to drink the Devil's Poweraide....had it coming out both ends.
Love this! LOL! Very funny!
You want some oil for that wheel 😶 ⛽️
Thanks for making me feel better about my procedure coming up. 😂
All my life I have seen cartoons of people laughing so hard they spit out what they were drinking and I never heard anything that funny until you talked about losing computer files. My protein drink almost went on my new oriental rug. Thankfully, I was able to contain it, but just barely! LOL! Thank you for the laugh!!!
😂😂😂This guy kills me everytime!
*_From here?_* That was a real LOL moment! 8^D
4:20 i was dying.
He never sold drugs broke me.😂🤣😂🤣
I didn't expect that. He is funny or the experience is funny by itself.
He is funny. The experience is not.
That slow transition from amusement to total horror...
Funny guy. I like him. He just seems like he would be a nice bloke.
Hahaha loved it !
The squeakie gal (may be a guy *shrugs*) is back at this one!! She's a hoot, cause she laughs JUST LIKE ME!
Christa Gettys annoying
this man is super funny!
I refuse to get one until they come up with a better way.
Ayye Minnesota represent!!!
Sounds like someone let a seagull in..
worst experience of my life started with a colonoscopy.
I remember i was trying to lighten up the situation with a joke.. Big mistake. I said " you got some pretty big finger there doc'..." I recieved no laughs
...then married the doctor.
3,800 ml is just over one U.S. gallon. Holy cow! Btw, I thought he'd tell the whole colonoscopy story. I need that.
That audience members laugh 😭🤣😂😅😵
Crying this was so funny
I just had my first one. There's no shortage of things to make fun of.
Billions of people throughout history have grown old happily without being violated by a machine. Just sayin.
Billions of people throughout history have average life expectancy of 30 (1800), 46 (1950) without being violated by a machine, compare to 71 (2015) and now 75. Just sayin.
@@kaorynguyen6812 @Kaory Nguyễn Well, in 1800 men were exploring and taming a savage world; 1950 men had been in WWII and Korea and in 1971 men started being raised by women and pussies. You do the math. Just say'n...
@@kaorynguyen6812 The short life expectancy was due to high infant mortality. More children are able to life to adulthood now which makes the life expectancy go up. Many of my own ancestors lived to be 70's and above while quite a few of their children died before the age of 5 from various causes. Life span and life expectancy are two different things.
I told my doc before I went under that I didn't even get dinner and a movie. No laughter was forthcoming.
I'm a little afraid to get a colonoscopy because it might hurt. I'm more afraid that it won't.
Ray ramano
It really doesn't hurt. I just took the med to relax and went to sleep. If they hadn't told me that it was done, I'd never have known.
I'm not that flexible, had me roaring. Great act.
Funny guy😂
More belly laughs. What a guy.
There's that seal again
the prep is miserable. Thought I was going to actually die.
usframe I’ve had 4 colonoscopies and the prep never gets better. The last time I threw up a good third of it.
That facial reaction is the look of what they now now what a colonoscopy is
My dad has colon cancer in family so he gets it done every 2 years (even though doctors recommend every 5-10 years) at this point he jokes with the doctor doing it.
He's really funny
Colonoscopy stories are always funny--except for the guy getting them.
It's not until you've had a colonoscopy that you appreciate how funny this is. I must have a really weird sense of humour. This was my experience. I was asked to lay on a table in the foetal position. The doctor then inserted this chrome device into by anus and started moving it around. The problem was that I must have had a lot of trapped wind andevery time this device moved it created just enough space to release the said wind. Well, not to put too fine a point on it, it sounded like is was farting the Trumpet Voluntary or, in my case, the Trumpet Involuntary. It was at this point my sense of humour took charge. I couldn't help it. I was laughing so hard the tears were rolling down my face. The attending medical staff were totally unmoved by this outburst which, in a way, made it even funnier. Just the other side of the door there were other 'victims' waiting for the same procedure. I hope I calmed any nerves they may have had because they must have thought I was having so much fun. Then, the doctor got called away momentarily. Don't forget I'm still lying there in the foetal position etc. He said, "Excuse me, just stay there for a moment." WHERE DID HE THINK I WAS GOING TO GO IN THAT CONDITION????
On this occasion I didn't have to suffer from the medical equivalent ofMr. Muscle Sink and Plughole Unblocker. That came some years later when I had an acute bout of diverticulitis. To say it was experience is an understatement. Trust me, the 10 yards between my bed and the loo seemed like a marathon especially with buttocks clenced in a vice like grip.
Happy days!
Thank God for a sense of humour.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😆😎 I like him
funny!!!
Those camera's can't be cleaned 100%, so not me baby!
They actually have A pill that is A camera. I never looked into much because I figured it'd be expensive. I'm 50,read the article when I was in my 20's.. I think.🤔
But,it was A science magazine, the other 2 articles I remember were A plastic that remembers it's shape,so like if you get into A fender bender,your fender would just reshape itself, & the 3D printer . So,it's been A long time,don't know what became of the pill camera. Probably not cost effective or for the rich .
When I was nine I had my first ever colonoscopy and I've been getting them every year and I'm 38. I hate the prep it is beyond that nasty especially the golytely which is a full gallon of fluid I would rather choke down three bottles of magnesium citrate then drink golytely.
Hmm maybe bill burr is wrong with where old man face comes from maybe its this xDD
Please tell me that squeaking wasn't somebody laughing 😂 🤭
"I never sold drugs!" 😆
VA coerced me into a colonoscopy. Hope they enjoyed it, because I didn't and it ain't happening again.
Hilarious
😂👍🏼👍🏼
Funny
OMG, LOL
I lost computer files that night⚰⚰⚰
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
YES,
TELL ME AGAIN WHAT A STRONG MAN YOU ARE.
😐
3800 ml = 16 cups approx.
I hate you. Who ever came up with cups should burn in hell. He and whatever guy thinks serving sizes of half an avocado make sense.
@@bluellamaslearnbeyondthele2456 Seek help immediately.
@@melvina628 ought that not be 15 cups? Seek some math help.
@@melvina628 ain't that 134 ounces though? 🤔😉
@@bluellamaslearnbeyondthele2456 16 x 8 ounces = 128 ounces
Who brought the castrated seal?
Billy Connolly did this 30 years ago
03:15
0:46
02:52
There's a dolphin in the audience
Can someone get the person in the audience some WD-40
And they make you drink Golytely solution - Go lightly? They should call that stuff Go violently!
Grianan66 It’s the most vile substance on earth.
Try being 36 with Chrones disease 😣 you get these frequently
Is there a legit hyena in the audience with all that screeching?
Theres a bird watching this?
the fill up the cup from here joke was ripped off. jus sayin'
First
You probably had to drink go lightly. Nasty fishy taste/smell. I will never do that again.
You can mix it with gatorade or powerade so it tastes better. At least that's what my doctor told me.
Imagine your Dr has a bad sense of depth perception.
Never sold drugs? They dont sell drugs in metric... or so im told...
Ever hear of a reference of a kilo of drugs. That's kilogram, or 2.2 pounds.
Drugs are always sold in metric.. With the exception of ounces, quarter pounds/pounds.. Its always in grams or kilograms, and the scales are set to metric. And even when you're buying an ounce or a pound, the scale weighing it will say 28 grams or 448 grams. Or an "8th" of an ounce of weed, they will show you 3.5grams on the scale
@@spenck7740 Most drugs are from foreign countries, everyone else uses metric. Makes sense it's part of the drug world ,especially blow.
Don't know where that person's been living, not to know that .