'Til Death Do Us Part: Broken Marriages, The Rise in Divorces, and Demonising the Modern Woman
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- čas přidán 30. 03. 2024
- Marriage continues to be a sensitive topic for many of the sisters in the 21st century. With the rising global divorce rates, the perversion of faith and patriarchy, and so many questioning whether marriage is really worth it, the sisters weigh in on pertinent conversations on whether marriage really is outdated for the ‘modern woman’.
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The scripture that says God does not like divorce has been so weaponised that we do not actually gain context of that scripture or understanding. God doesn’t like divorce because of the pain and struggles it can cause. However the scriptures does state circumstances where divorce is permitted. God also hates idolatry and it’s the idolatry of marriage that’s the problem we worship marriage and we fear divorce more than we fear God Himself. We then use religion as a way to justify having this idol in our society. That’s the problem until we stop idolising it it’s going to cause us problems. God never intended for marriage to became an idol.
Word!!!
I loved this dilemma because I just came from a season of waiting. After doing so much work to move forward and get the career that you want its sooo frustrating having to wait but NOW I am in a season of receiving a lot of what I was waiting for and I am so glad I had that season of waiting! It definitely prepared me for what I am receiving! Sometimes you're not ready for what you want and God is getting you ready slowly but surely! Also, I love you both.
I agree so much with this. I too have experienced something similar. God has something bigger and better prepared for you. Continue to pray for him to prepare you for what’s coming next. Everything will work out for you in the end.
You both are so very well spoken and your range of vocabulary is admirable.
You have the gifts of wisdom and teaching, absolutely born for this. I love your confidence and poise.
You are really good at what you do, Renee and Courtney. You have a proud sister in me.
This is so incredibly encouraging to us. Thank you sister, we appreciate you more than you know! ♥️
The lady in orange made my skin crawl… what is the appeal to stay married to a person who showed you clearly that they do not care for your well being at all ? Why stay ?
I lost it when they asked her about the child @buse. Mind you, this is the type of lady that are rampant in church and in African families.
This episode just told me to extend my vocabulary
😂😂😂😂
YOU GEEETTTTT???!!!!! I need a dictionary every time these sisters open their mouths! Words upon words
@@afuadankwaahowusu699 😂😂❤
Incredible discussion! As a Nigerian Christian, I've moved in my views of divorce and marriage in recent years.
Renee's breakdown in the interplay between religion and patriarchy was so well stated!
As a elder sister, I've learned so much from you both❤
Thank you so much! SO glad you enjoyed the conversation and interested to hear more about your changes/ growth in views ❤️
IDP - Internally Displaced People/Persons.
Basically, it is a refugee within your own country.
Thank you!
In reference to the dilemma - the job market has been really bad. There were layoffs at major and minor companies nationwide the past two years, so college grads can find themselves competing with seniors for jobs. Patience is going to have to be a virtue. You only need ONE yes
I hate that people think God cares about one or the other and it's both. God loves the sanctity of marriage, but He also cares about us as well. How do you justify a man mistreating his wife like that? Because He is very clear about how He will judge those who abuse and mistreat His church, so the same applies to marriage as well.
I also like what you all said about brokenness within the marriage. I remember meeting a woman who shared with me how her parents HATED each other, but they stayed together for her and her siblings. And I know people who grew up in broken homes but have strong, healthy marriages. And YES to what you said at the end!! We are free from sin, but NOT from the consequences!
Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe! let's help grow the sisterhood, many need to hear these conversations with us. Happy Easter!
Hello somebody! Thank you sis ❤️
I already know this is gonna be a good one!
Y’all never miss 🎯🎯🎯
Happy Easter sisters 🤍 such a good episode
This was a great conversation!
As someone going a divorce I really relate to what you ladies are saying. Keep on with the good work
Sisterrrrrrrrrrs🎉
I love your podcast so so much, I literally listen to these episodes every single weekday and there is so much stuff I have learned from you.
Love from Botswana
Purple Hibiscus- the novel. Iykyk. Push a woman long enough, the consequences of abuse and trauma can be absolutely devastating.
Great novel btw!
what's interesting is there's instructions for a divorced woman in Leviticus, it makes me doubt that divorce is just now getting rampant..seems to always have been there.. but i dont know much about it (maybe in africa its so tabooed because our cultures didnt have divorce, just polygamy and such).. hey guys IDP is Internally Displaced Persons.. like what happens in a civil war within a country.
Yeah divorce seemed rampant in the Bible too, isn't what Jesus said about why Moses gave them some leeway( to placate them) evidence of how much divorce there was and for any and every reason... Then he had to limit it to just infidelity? Every generation likes to pretend they were more chaste than the newer degenerate generation 😂
These two black women are the standard for how black women should articulate themselves. Lovely to see. X
Thanks, ladies, for sharing on topic! So much wisdom. Just one thing to add for clarity, as you study the Bible, it is made clear that remarrying is only allowed for the innocent party once divorce is considered on the basis of circumstances.
May God continue to give you wisdom 🙏🏿
This was a Jam Pack episode with a wealth of wisdom and eye opening perspectives. Much love 💕
Appreciate you love! Thank you ❤️
Just wanted to say thank you for using inclusive languages, even though y’all talk about hetero relationships and issues, I feel welcome here as a lesbian. Y’all are also Christian and I usually don’t feel comfortable in straight-religious circles 😚
IDP stands for internally displaced persons
Loved this discussion!! I think you both hit the nail on the head with the points raised here. I would raise one challenge/ question though: What can we do to ensure that men (or women) who go to prison for their abuses come back from prison as changed individuals? What is the guarantee that once you leave prison you will be a safer husband/ wife?
Love this comment because prison does not equal = changed. Often the result recidivism.
@@theloladeproject my thoughts exactly!
Thank you love! Appreciate you sticking by and coming through with the challenge - It's tough because we have an hour and yet an hour goes by so quickly.
This is a brilliant question and unfortunately, there is no guarantee. We are limited to the justice system in our respective countries at present and whilst prison/ justice/ consequences is necessary to ensure safety of afflicted parties, we still have much work to do in society to invest in proper rehabilitation. Right now, we live in hope that offenders would be moved to change their ways, but would not suggest that there should be any reconciliation until the party has demonstrated repentance and changed behaviour, away from their spouse, consistently and over an extended period of time. There would also need to be considerable communal accountability and safety measures put in place to ensure we prioritise the victim at all costs and throughout all stages.
It's a hard, long, arduous process which must begin with retribution and prioritisation of immediate safety of victim first. Something which, as basic as it is, doesn't even happen at all which is why we started there and stayed at that point for a minute! 😅
Would love to hear more thoughts/ takes, and thank you for the question ❤️
❤❤ loved this episode but IDP means Internaly displaced persons but I love how you guys think positively mind ran straight to development.
Haha thank you! We don't typically use the phrase within our spaces, great learning moment for us ❤️
at 50:50 although it may be true she got married young, and in todays world we see marriage before 24 as pre-mature. We also have to take into consideration each individuals primary community influence, their role models, education level and what was the standard. You both raised such amazing points that sometimes religion blinds us from having compassion for one another and executing justice. So i see that 2 things can be true for someone's experience. We can look back NOW and say, 'she was too young' but was that even seen as out of the ordinary in HER time/ community? because her experience may not have been everyone's.
Sometimes I feel like the criticisms we make come from the 2020 vision we get years later and not from the system that existed at the time which were already faulty.
I think thats really what breaks my heart about the divorcee elder woman in the interview... was that hindsight is 20/20. and thats why from EXPERIENCE we educate our daughters to go to school, support themselves and live their lives. but its hard to say for me, she was too young, when your ELDERS are approving of marrying you off at 19! This is deeper than, \shes too young\ this speaks to the culture and abandonment of women once married. and poor stewardship from HER elders/parents. 2 families approved of this???
heart breaking to watch that panel of people discuss such a sensitive topic with so little care and compassion with the strong need to be right instead of connect/support.
One of my favorite episodes
Does anyone have the link to the debate???
Did anyone find the interview or podcast mentioned?
IDP...Internally Displaced Persons
What’s the viral video called? 1:51
“ should marriage be a life sentence” on CZcams from Cruise
Thank you! @@DarlingEphraim
Generations: Silent, Boomers, Gen X, Millennial, Gen Z, Alpha
IDP is Internal Displaced Persons. People who are displaced within their own country. More like refugee but this is within the country. Example, during the Kenya post election violence of 2007/3008 there were Kenyans who were displaced. They are considered as IDPs.
Gen X is between boomers and millennials
Name any one thing that you start doing and cannot stop doing under any circumstance. You can choose to stop breathing if you so desire. Nothing in this world will keep me in a marriage under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Auntie, I'm sorry, but you've lost the plot.
With the greatest of respect to you and fellow sista's, I'd have to push back a little bit.
I'm not saying that Women aren't experiencing struggles and various difficult times. However, I'd have to counter that it's actually the men who are being demonised in the modern day. From the Gillette adverts of a few years ago, to the Bud Light advertising campaign to majority of the daytime TV shows(Oprah Winfrey, Sally Jessie Raphael, Maury, Jerry Springer etc) to the more recent (The View, The Real to the UK equivalent "Heels off"). Society has stated that things that were once deemed "classic masculinity" in the 1920's are now perceived as toxic.
Yet, with rhetoric like "the future is female". Is it any wonder that men don't want to be the demonised scapegoats of life's ills anymore and they're now abdicating responsibilities?
The population of the planet is 50% women, but the majority of people who watch and engage with daytime TV Oprah Jerry springer etc are women so when they are given more opportunities it is purely for ratings on the dying media vs pushing an agenda against men wouldn't you agree? Glorifying a period of time that objectively disadvantaged the majority women children working class POCs suggests that you wanting to go back to that means you haven't considered who would be left behind or suffer under those systems. The masculine traits that were glorified back then contributed to mistreatment of women gave them no agency and relavent to the video kept them trapped in dangerous situations, I can't understand how that version of masculinity isn't more demonised than what is celebrated today. My interpretation of the future is female is to encourage women to join into male dominated spaces regardless of what media shows. Most board members are men and that can be intimidating or unwelcoming when those that succeed don't look like you I'm real life, I mention that because your idea of giving up because men are being seen to be sidelined but the reality of it is that the percentage of women in the positions isn't there so they highlight the individuals as the exception not the rule. I guess the prevalence of it makes it seem otherwise but please consider that it is needed.
Chosing to abdicate responsibility is interesting perspective because it means you have internalised the ideas not made or pushed by women but by men that you have to do specific things to feel empowered instead try to see what you would do if you weren't holding yourself to these standards which is what modern people are trying to move away from
Sisterrrrrrrrrrs🎉
I love your podcast so so much, I literally listen to these episodes every single weekday and there is so much stuff I have learned from you.
Love from Botswana