Intimacy // Honest Tea Talk | Season 1 Episode 14 (Season 1 Finale)
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In this final episode of Season 1 of Honest Tea Talk, we discuss the hot topic of intimacy. For this episode, we are asking:
- Is intimacy solely the right of the man, and is it solely related to sexual interaction?
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About Honest Tea Talk
with Aliyah, LaYinka & Sumayah
Inspired by Jada Pinkett-Smith's 'Red Table Talk', 3 Muslim women have set up a platform to speak openly and honestly, giving viewers an unedited insight into the minds and life of Muslim women. Honest Tea Talk brings deep and often unspoken topics to the table to lay down our masks and start much-needed discussions about matters related to Muslim women and the ummah at large.
© 2019
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UPDATE
I (Aliyah) would like to comment on a mistake I made in regards to the hadith mentioned in the episode. It was Umm Sulaym and not Asma. May Allah forgive me. The explanation that this was said in front of a group of companions was something I heard many years ago by a scholar in a lecture, whose name I cannot currently recall. It most certainly would have been better if I had only mentioned it with full references of the scholarly interpretation I had heard. I hope Allah forgives me for this error. We at HTT are women who believe in learning from our mistakes and doing better next time. All of the HTT videos are unscripted, unplanned and unedited natural conversations of 3 Muslim women. If I remember/find the references, I'll update this description.
Please see reference below:
Umm Salamah said: “Umm Sulaym came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alihi wasalam, and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Allah is not too shy to tell us the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has a wet dream?’ The Prophet said: ‘Yes, if she sees water (a discharge).’ Umm Salamah covered her face and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, can a woman have an erotic dream?’ He said, ‘Yes, may your hands be rubbed with dust. How else would her child resemble her?’” (Bukhari)
#honestteatalk #realtalk #intimacy #htt
I'm not a Muslim but I enjoy women having a open and honest conversation...... keep going girls!
Karen Akintunde 🥰🌸🤲🏼
Same. This is not exclusively a Muslim issue. I think in non Muslim society women often withdraw from their husbands after having kids. Because we have no religious compulsion in intimacy there often no sex at all.
Several times I have heard of couples literally not having sex for years after kids and in fact it seems extremely common for men to feel sexually frustrated after having kids.
These solutions in the video seem pretty applicable to that situation.
ONE HUNDO PERCENT thinking the same.
think the same, but those are really not girls but women, as you said first. ;)
Same here I believe there is something us Christian can take from this .
I'm so proud of these British muslim ladies. We need more transparency in our deen. I'm tired of all these cultural baggages that have clouded our community.
Agreed 💯
yes! Culture always takes over religion when its not supposed to be like that, people always say this and that is wrong when in islam when it isnt that. People need to stop confusing culture with religion its terrible.
Right on! May Allah bless them. They were well-spoken, direct and tactful in discussing this.
Yes very true I agree 💯%
Theres no such thing as British muslims if I was you I would address them as muslims women.
i feel these issues should be addressed as part of a Pre-Nikkah course conducted by the local masjid. They should make these courses mandatory before Nikkah so that both the man and women are well acquainted with the knowledge of their duties as husbands and wives respectively.
Yessss👏👏
Yes welahi
agreed with you
True
Very important walahi
They say, "You will never see African parents kissing, hugging each other or having any other romantic plays.But, BOOM 11 kids"😂
Bilan Naxar. 😂😂😭😂😂
Bilan Naxar. True, I’m from Somali and I have 11 siblings. My parents never hold hands together or say romantic words while I’m present and that’s their choices. May Allah reward with highest level in Jannah. Ameen
@@anonymousrider1800
GOD Bless You Somalia 🇸🇴💞🌹💞👍🏼
😅😂💯🎯
😂
I always get that question. When man asks a woman where she's getting ideas from or how she knows about it, how does HE know what it is then? He gained information from somehwere too, and I bet it wasn't very halal bro. These double standards sicken me
Wherever he got it from, just give him a hallelujah.
Fathima this is such an underrated comment
Ideas are natural I guess, your hormones giving you the ideas as soon as you start making them. I guess and level of your likeness towards someone. Nothing to do with watching something or dirty. Afcourse everything should be in limit and when it goes overboard and effecting other functionings and other aspects of life then it's abnormal dirty mind.
It's not about double standards, but the fact that two wrongs don't make a right!
@@relaxation151 Their point is not that two wrongs don't make a right, rather they see one as wrong(the woman having ideas) and not the other (the man). Thus, a double standard.
not even a muslim but i'm so impressed by this. not just muslim women, other faiths and cultures can also take notes from this. this is amazing
You are welcome among us sis 😘,
Please do come and learn about islam, I can promise you, you won’t regret it. ❤️💗
It's a women issue... So sad to see sexuality is not thought and lived for us women. But it's never too late to realize and to actually ask our right to be satisfyied at every single time
I honestly didn’t think this would happen in my lifetime!! I’m so freaking proud of every single woman on this panel!! Muslim women talking about this today is phenomenal. (Muslim) Women are shamed so much it’s reached a level of absurdity. Humans are sexual beings! The whole point of marriage is to enjoy not only achieving half our deen but EACH OTHER.
So proud so proud 👏👏👏
Yess it makes me so happy to see these women speaking on such important issues like it made me sad knowing that theres sisters out there who dont feel like sex is enjoyable for them because they feel like its just a duty to do for their husband but it made me so happy knowing that its been spoken about more.
LaLabutterfly Half of deen includes intimacy for both genders
for muslim womens that is privacy ,and it should be continue like that ,they shouldn't kiss there husband in public that is called a true follower
They are not single. they are married I guess
yes but that's a weak hadith about marriage being half of faith. In reality it doesn't make sense bc lots of good Muslims never got married and it still happens today and in the future.
I’m a revert, young male and this is very good to see. I’m happy sisters are having these discussions. Woman are not slaves and marrying a woman is not hiring a slave. A man should treat a lady like a lady and woman should be allowed to feel like a woman. We need to be taught the rights of the woman correctly by our parents. I’m a revert so Iv got to dig out the research myself but fathers and mothers should teach their kids honestly.
May Allah keep you stead fast on his right path !!
Nice comment.Yes, they're not slaves.👌
Thank you
May Allah guide you
Nothing is shameful about this topic, it's all about education 👏
With due respect to the old folks- our parents, they’re unfortunately clouded by so much culture, which regards such romance- kisses, hugging or holding hands as shameful, I’m pretty sure our generation will be better, for me personally I’ve identified the problem, I think I’ll do better with my wife when the time comes Insha Allah
That generation made it taboo
Don’t get carried away with it. If they think intimacy was bad then you wouldn’t exist right now. They are not wrong to say that being intimate IN PUBLIC is bad which is absolutely true and The Prophet Muhammad saw and the sahabah did not do it because it’s absolutely shameful and a sign of hayaless people which is not an adab and outlook of a true Muslim. Yeah u might say “what about when Prophet Muhammad saw had a playful running race moment with his wife Ayesha ra once outdoors?” Well here is your answer- He did it outside BUT NOT IN PUBLIC. Before having that little race with his wife, He first sent the sahabas away until they could not be seen anymore and only then He had that moment with his wife. A TRUE Muslim has haya in their heart and in their akhlaq.
Saikh Noor While you have a point, I don’t think that was the intention of the original comment. Many Muslim couples from older generations regard ANY form of intimacy aside from intercourse with no affection as shameful. That is what needs to change. Public displays of affections are not allowed, but husbands not satisfying his spouse is bad as well. Salaam.
Every generation thinks it’s better than the last , the downfall of man
May be joint family system is the culprit. Man and women should be living alone to have personal connection to build in and getting stronger with time
The sister with the glasses said things perfectly
Why am I just now finding this? I love that there are some beautiful black Muslim women speaking up about these problems we have in the Muslim community.
Three beautiful ladies, speaking on topics that need addressing. MashAllah Allahumma barik❤️
Bint Athens 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I watch your channel and I love you!!!!❤🧕
Insightful insights and extremely informative
Beautiful presentation
Mashallah Islam didn’t leave anything behind jazaakumullah
sexual satisfaction is the right of the wife as much as it is for the husband
Yess!
100%
The center of the relationship!
No arguments here.But please don't expect the guy to be clairvoyant and just read your mind. Communication, Communication, Communication. You need to talk to the guy and let him know whatever works for you and what doesn't. You're never gonna get to the point of sexual satisfaction if you'll unleash the silent treatment. The whole premise of any physical intimacy is to connect; if you and your husband can't talk it all out and make sure you're both on the same page with it all, sex is just a physical act and looses all importance. Just my 2 cents.
@Average Mo what the heck??? Please, brother, we are all different and want/need different things. For sure there are women that prefer a dominant man but that doesnt mean communication should be nonexistent. That only leads to toxic dominance and power control/abuse. Communication is important to see what the other wants/needs and reach to commonality, grow as people and learn. Also, always refer to the Quran. God knows best
I’m so glad our generation can make the distinction between culture and religion and speak openly about this so that our children can have a lot healthier relationships 😊
This was long overdue. Both men and women need to be educated on this with an honest discussion, especially men. Props to you three. 👍🏻 JazakAllah khair
💯💯💯
Mainulx 💯 agreeably
Husband and wife will only be capable of true intimacy when both accept to be vulnerable. Choose to express feelings, needs, desires and emotions in clear terms. Without any fear of shame. Shame I think is a form of self-hatred. Overcoming that is the gateway to deep, fulfilling intimacy.
The best thing a man can do for a woman is to allow her to let go of the things that prevented her from connecting. And vice versa.
Saadick Hurre
Masha Allah Sxb
You don't have to be Muslim to understand this, girlllls this is something everyone should be hearing. We don't need intimate details, we just need guys to know that women have to be pleased in that aspect too. We learn everything to please them and they should want to do the same. Also converse with them about it. All women are different and have a lot to explore. We aren't that simple lol and that's why this women is not satisfied, he is also selfish or she is not conversing with him. and honestly intimacy is about experiencing together, that's what makes it magical.
Yeah
But Islam talk about this and the rights of one another
They talk for those muslim women Who even don't know that or feel ashmed to converse, as a muslim women they help another muslim girl Who feel shy because of the éducation she had to finaly understand that islam gives her the right to be completly satified exactly as her husband and he is obliged to stay with her even if he already get satisfied he MUST continue until she had orgasm too.
Perfect ! Well written .... cant say better .
Communication is key but question is... "is the man willing to listen??"
LS, the answer to your question should be yes, because if the other fail to acknowledge your efforts at giving your best, you may end hating them. Reciprocation matters a lot in this mutual engagement. Allah knows best.
A man who listens to a women is a man who fear Allah, A man who fears Allah fears to be unjust to anyone. For Allah hates and punish unjust people.
Some men are also ignorant. Not that they wouldn't want to satisfy their wives, but society that they grew up in. Trust me many of us learn the other way as compared to when we were growing up in a very strict culture. It's all about education
If he's not sis, you have the right to ask for a divorce for the soul reason that he isn't satisfying you. It's happened in the prophet's time before sis
@@MoodyAfrican Ur totally right...the key is dine
This was awesome!!! And actually, as a Gynaecologist in the UK, I can tell you right now that most of the issues you mentioned are relatable to the non-muslim society, the problem is men in general, not specifically muslim men.
@@letusreason5071 you misunderstood her...
Right men want to dominate in everything their ego is the main issue.
@@moodmeditation4458 Wanting to dominate is not the same as having a big ego. Men generally being more dominant is how Allah s.w.t. made them and it is not a flaw but something a mentally healthy woman will appreciate.
Love what sister Sumayah said about the fact that you rather have honest respectful conversations than deal with damage control later.
Sabiha Lodhi 💯💯💯
Assalam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu we ladies also have an issue of interconnecting everything. We bring a lot with us to the bedroom. The sick children the misunderstandings around us. And everything else. I would like to advise the ladies to pay attention to what is being done to you and stop everything else and think only about the act of intimacy. There should be straight talk between the two parties study your body and show your partner where he touches and you feel great. Stop hurting yourself intimacy is fruitful and let happiness be part of the fruits. Trust me it is fun and we ladies are busy caring about what our hubbies will think of us and yet there are having fun. Join in the fun. Finally ladies please know that for us intimacy is psychological and emotional sort out your emotions. Set your mind to enjoy. For men it is physical they can go for it any time anywhere. Massalam
you should have your own Netflix show!
This is very informative even for the rest of us Christians/ other religions. I love that clarity is being given with regard to intimacy within the Muslim context... really a great point of learning.
thanks alot
You should also try learning about the rights Allah has given to women . I mean what islam has to say about women rights.
True
You should look more into Islam then!
You won’t regret it, trust me!
I claaaaaapppppeddd “ when husband and wife are in the bedroom, that is when haya is thrown out the window” the accuracy!!!!
Sex talk done in an intellectual manner. Amazing.
As a unmarried woman I always had anxiety surrounding this, and this video helped me. I feel more at ease. And I would love for you to make a part 2 addressing body positivity and being comfortable in your own skin, for many of us female who struggle with insecurity. Jazakullahu Kheyr
I thought of the same thing.
THEY DON'Y HAVE "HAYAT " THEY DON'T SHAME OR MANNERS THEY ARE MUSTARJILAAT THEY WANT TO BECOME MEN...............THESE ARE SHAYADIN AL- INS IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED YOU DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM ......... IF YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THIS TOPIC ASK YOUR MOTHER , YOUR WOMAN SHEIKH AT MOSQUE OR READ ISLAMIC LITERATURE ......................RUN FOR YOU LIFE THEY ARE SHAYDAN WITH HIJAB ...................ALLAH KNOW BEST.
It is great to overcome any kind of fear that might be stopping you from being able to give and receive love. Living fully means a lot. So many years of unlived life is a loss. Research has shown intimacy to be of significant factor to human health.
@@AhmedJigga Go learn the Hadith of NabiuLlah Muhammad pbuh.
@@AhmedJigga what is wrong with you..they dont have haya or manners for speaking about issues that need to be addressed?
I am a Catholic woman with a half sister who is Muslim. I am glad that there are platforms where Muslim woman speak openly to one another and offer each-other advice. Keep the good work up.
I am a pure Christian always try to get away from (Satan) temptation, thought we believe differently watching this video gave me a direction after marriage. I think this issue is not only in Islam community but also in some cultures and religions.
Big credit to u ladies God bless u and happy New year
I like it that you refer to each other as sisters, I feel it in my heart!
Linnet Mbotto for all muslims we are brothers and sisters even know i see you as my sister❤️
That's Islam
❤️ May Peace be with you sister, this is the greeting of Islam ❤️
you're my sister also, insha'Allah a sister in Islam. :)
I can not understand a man that wants something that doesnt want to be given.
Says a lot about the character of that man.
Lol I agree, however a wife that does not want her husband sexually shouldn't be married. Cheating and divorce will soon follow.
@@MrMarcus-mn2vp Of course a man or a wife that dont want each other sexually should probably not be together. This is logical. Also it depends of course on the 'why?' . Has this always been the case, so these two are married without real attraction or consent. Or is the woman ill with something..Or is the man ill etc etc. It all depends.
Also people can have all the available sex from the wife and still cheat, and vice versa. I think love would keep a man or woman from cheating more than satisfied lust. (and of course fear of Allah and love for Allah).
Salaam oe haleikum bro.
@@Stoney-Jacksman that was well said I definitely agree. Thanks for the follow up. Peace
@@MrMarcus-mn2vp same goes with a man who don't give it or are too tired. But however, women have different stages in their sex life some high some low. Sexual emotional problems are common. However there needs to be a balance no one should be over demanding it even when it comes to sex - it shouldn't be a chore which is problem. If a woman doesn't desire it a man/ a husband also needs to find out why and why she isn't being fulfilled desiring it - maybe the woman the /wife wants the control sexually. She wants a more emotional connection and care/ within a marriage. Yes its natural after a certain age you don't desire it....in women though, unlike men!
I completely understand a man wanting sex from his wife even though she doesn't want to give it. They are thinking with the 'other' head that doesn't have a brain. That head needs to be satisfied and that is all they know, whether she wants to give it or not. It's not like he can simply go out and get it from someone else nor does the wife not wanting sex take away his desire. Honestly if some men wait for their wives to actually WANT it they may be waiting for hellava long time! Sometimes it's a chore and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's the best thing in the world and sometimes it makes you cringe. Sometimes you give it up because you want to and sometimes you give it up because you know it's what the hubby needs to settle for the night.
If he's over demanding (asking for it everyday it even twice a day *no sir* then that's a different story. We need a break from the ghusuls loool).
Haya going out the window I laughed 😂
Yes hahahaa
2 min into this and I am not even muslim and YESSS!!! I loved this video. These are issues and conversations that many religions and cultures need to talk about more often.
This platform is what we've needed for so long ... educated, classy sisters having open discussions ! Very refreshing
I hope you 3 get the biggest blessing and have a high place in jannah for this video! love love love the honesty and openness. THANK YOU!
intimacy, is a deep spiritual emotional connection and having compassion and understanding between people...
💯
Yes this is it, its about the spiritual and emotional connection which is highlighted, physical intimacy not so much but just as one means. Its all about focusing on the more important things
Yes physical intimacy is an extension of it or expression of it. But spirtual is the real intimacy for a satisfied and long married life.
Not only muslim women but the rest feel the same. Men in general need to know how to be intimate and learn about the body parts and how it works.
I find it crazy that we even have to talk about these topics in such a way. As a human being that loves his or her spouse knowing and doing your best to satisfy your husband or wife should be a standard. It’s astounding that we have to be baby fed everything. Good job though sisters.
Eesa Frimpony 100% agree brother
Brother, I was thinking the exact same thing! Muslims need to extract the Arab culture out of Islam!
Sakina Maryam Karim It’s not only the Arab culture. It happens with a lot off communities which has strong culture norms. Which is also valued a lot more than anything.
That’s why i’m anti culture. It’s so backward. I’m happy to know that Allah protected the women through Islam. Even if some refuse to give me my rights. I’m satisfied to know Allah did and that Allah also values me as a woman. That’s why it’s important for women to get Islamic knowledge.
It because in many culture and some belief a woman is not supposed to "enjoy" sex, it is service they provide and the man needs come first, there is a shame about it, if you express you desire: you are shamed.....that is why it is why.
you used the right term "baby fed"
I remember Mufti menk talking on this topic but I do agree there isn't enough people talking about it
I was thinking about that exactly when I started watching this.
The problem is that most of men dont even know that women Need sexual pleasure and the reason is that women feel ashamed of expressing their feeling/Need for sex to their men.
My thoughts exactly 👌
I’m not Muslim but I appreciated this video. As a young woman I recognize the importance of have discussions like this one. I’ll be sharing this video especially with my muslimah friends. I hope you all continue making these videos and inshallah it really helps someone out there.
I can't tell you how refreshing and amazing it is to listen to you intelligent muslim women speak of intimacy and sex so openly. I hope in the next generation, it can stop being a taboo!
I stumbled across this just now and watched it. I loved it and agree that our son's need to be educated on how to treat women. But sisters, not just in regards to sex, but before sex happens on the REAL intimacy issues like how to respect her, love her, listen to her, converse with her and treat her like a human and care for her before he even tried to ENTER her. How your husband relates to you in your lives together helps bring out true love and intimacy that happens before the bedroom. Then the real magic can happen in the bedroom. The husband and wife are used to talking and sharing and loving each other, so in the bedroom they are not intimidated to tell each other what is needed from the other and so on. Even shy women are encouraged to come forth with helpful information if she feels comfortable with her husband. And the husband can feel comfortable as well asking the wife to explore more if he needs to instead of using porn or another woman to fulfill his needs. The two way street does not feel lonely or confusing if there is good communication on how to cross the road with care!
Agreed. When the notion ''a duty'' or ''a task'' is removed and she overcomes shyness, confidence takes over she will feel comfortable. the man need to make feel her comfortable and take away idea that she fulfilling a ''responsibility'' instead having a good time and enjoying herself.
Girls who are getting married need to hear such things, which are very important. It’s so hard to find such topics being discussed online. All these scholars talk about are love marriages and let the kids marry whoever they want but what about the marriage anxiety, intimacy and marrying someone who is a complete stranger?
As a virgin this was very interesting. Sometimes I feel pressured by this generation and how no one believes I have almost no intimate interaction with men and don’t want to. Intimacy for me is like she said intimate conversations with honesty between friends. This was comforting.
There is a lot of news around us. Do not be carried away by the noise around. Be yourself and listen to your inner self for guidance. May Allah protect you.
Don’t feel pressured. Your time will come
Don't mind about them , we will never have the power to control what people say or think,but how we handle issues is all that matters so just be you❤️
Every couple before marriage should do a class like this discussing these topics and educating both parties very well.
I'm not a Muslim but I love these videos. My advice is sex is a two way thing not a one way thing. For a lot of women sex becomes a chore, something they do for their husbands not themselves. This is wrong and sad. Being in a lifeless marriage sounds like hell. This isn't just women speaking up this is men listening and willing to please their wives. Men need to understand sex is a million times better when the women is enjoying herself.
Sex can't just be "I'm a man I'm horny take off your clothes and let's have sex" is there foreplay? Does he know what gets your aroused? Do you know what gets him aroused? Is there any intimacy in and out of the bedroom? These are the questions that need to be asked.
Well well. There is a hadith where the prophet pbuh forbid sex without foreplay.
qanyare cawad All sexual practices are permissible, besides the specifically prohibited (such as anal sex) or harmful. Allah Most High says, “Your spouses are your fields, so approach your fields whichever way you like.” [Qur’an, 2.223]
I am sure that if the woman talks to her husband/ partner openly about what arouses her to reach that climax , he will listen and takes no notes . No men wants to see his woman feeling unsatisfied sexually.
Sex is never a dirty or a shameful thing to feel shy to express your feelings to the man you want in your life .
@@ctx700 I agree! 100% Women are shy, or ashamed to communicate what pleases them, and this is what causes problems.
This comment section is full of non Muslims masha allah
This tea talk is a real talk
We have to address these issues cuz it's also very important, alhamdulillah am so blessed to find this talk very early! And yess the point about haya is so true....!
As a Muslim man, I am so proud of this conversation. Especially the idea of teaching boys about female anatomy.
Suar Ar Room - Verse 20 - And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
When I read the title of this video, I said "here we go again another video about intamacy where we don't talk about the real issues,where we're too afraid to say it like it is" but I must say I am surprised in a good way this is exactly how we should talk about it,clear and direct,women need to stand up for themselves ,this is the 21st century for GOD sake and most men believe they are the only ones who matter. An update people women have needs too, it's a fact you need to accept.
hanane careless That’s exactly what i was thinking when i clicked on the video.
We also need to talk about how sexual trauma effects intimacy as well. I love your show sisters. Keep it up.
I am taking down my braids while watching this and I am genuinely enjoying my time. THANK YOU !!
I'm not muslim but I enjoyed your honest and transparent conversation.
Kindly watch this video examination in life never give up-czcams.com/video/k4w4pak66V0/video.html
This is a very important topic, I am having these issues in my marriage, it has come to the point when I am trying to avoid any sexual contact because I never feel any pleasure and very often feel pain, I never feel excited and somehow my husband blames me for it because he says with his previous partner enjoyed intimacy with him. I am capable of having desire and satisfy it when I am with myself but with him it’s never happened. I tried telling him what I want to try but he isn’t keen on doing it, I feel that I will never experience things in bedroom which I find exciting. Honestly men also think they are so good, but I think they greatly overestimate their skill in the bedroom. Also, ladies, watch out sometimes sexual disharmony is a sign of bigger issues in marriage that need addressing...
You have to make him understand that women have different bodies, some might be easily pleasured while others it takes time. You have to try to communicate with him softly so that he may understand you completely. Intimacy is a very important thing in a marriage, if you are not happy he may not be happy too. You have to try to talk to him about it, don’t be afraid. IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO FEEL SATISFIED.
Sometime when we have unbearable pain and comes back all the time Alhamdullillah Allah made us a forgetful lot. Try to for get the pain of intimacy. Try to fantasize way before you hubby indicates that he wants intimacy and be ready before hand if you can't reach happiness don't make a great deal out of it just know that there is next time. Just make sure you focus on what is being doing with you set goal as orgasm. You know you can feel it when your hubby is about to reach the peak. Slowly pull yourself back to let him feel the coldness make it playful so he can't notice. And you have bought yourself more time. Remember the first thing is the mindset. First clear that to only focus on The act and nothing else.
It’s better to divorce or you will be unhappy and it’s clearly not working you’ll get abetted one who doesn’t same you
A sister should let her husband know what she likes. Both should be transparent with each other.
Exactly. You can’t be shy with your husband. If your not satisfied then talk!
I recently heard a scholar at a Radio Station mention the "differences" between men and women when it comes to sexual desire and I felt so I don't even know the word. Basically saying that women are not in as much need as men are, it really upset me because there are so many women out there who have a far higher sex drive then their male spouses... If people could stop with the stereo-typing in the bayaans I think would be a great start. Some women have big appetites for intercourse with their spouses
I agree some generalizations can express a point but in personal issues it at times perhaps at indivudal level has to be looked at deeper.
Cause we are expected to be the Virgin Maryam and be devoted so asking for this natural feeling is dirty for us and not for men. We are not expected to have that much of sexual desire cause reputation and shame
this is such a wonderful program! As a unmarried woman I cannot speak to my sisters / mom about these topics. Nobody even told me about menstruation until one day I got my period in gym class in like the 7th grade and I thought I got hurt from the physical activities I was engaged in. I ran to the bathroom in tears because I thought I was going to die (my mother did not allow me to attend any sex education courses in school and I do not blame her, I’m actually very glad because the courses were not taught from an unislamic perspective). Anyways, I cannot imagine what marriage life will be like because I’m so ignorant about such topics and every info out there is so unislamic that I do not bother searching. I appreciate you sisters for this channel and I look forward to learning more from you. May Allah reward you ten folds!
Ya No nothing is wrong about curiosity and looking for information. Sexual satisfaction is God given rights , I hope u get the opportunity to experience soon .
Fortunately I don't have these issues in my life, and honestly, I didn't know this was a thing because everyone is too ashamed to speak their minds. I was brought up in American culture So my attitude towards intimacy was much more independent than that of my sisters in more reserved cultures. Being open with your partner is key, and you must be direct. Men don't get "hints" very well. Keep up the good work ladies I applaud your openness with these difficult topics.
I think the men also need to prepare to look good for their wives, not only women.
You know sometimes we take care for ourself as our duty and for them but for them they don't even bother.
I'm not a Muslim but I related to every bit of it. Addressing the taboo of sex and intimacy is every African and middle eastern woman's issue. I therefore think it's more of a cultural rather than a religious deficit. Otherwise, you ladies are lovely and inspiring
Agree! Perfectly said!
PLEEEEEASE, we need season 2!!! You ladies are doing a great job. Keep it up.
14:34 YES!!!!!
Okay so here is how I stumbled upon your video--
I made a new series called "sexual intimacy 101" todays episode was about "how to sexually satisfy your wife" & subhanallah I spoke about this exact things.
Great job making this clear & known.
You ladies talked about intimacy in an educated and graceful way! This is just beautiful and amazing!! Thank you SO much for holding such conversations in the muslim community
Mashaa Allah sisters, what a beautiful and important topic to talk about, alot of sisters suffered and still suffering, and very shy to address it, I was one of them, I end up getting divorced, but Alhamdullah I am married now and my husband is very understanding, sometimes the mentality of the man is just unchangeable!!
I hope soon we can see a honest talk for Muslim men!
We need sisters like this who engage in creating a transparent communication platform to tackle sensitive and taboo topics. It makes me hopeful, that this types of ‘talk shows’ can contribute in medicating and curing the hidden problems and chaos in our today's society.
For some reason we've made it taboo to even talk about these things in our community. Amazing discussion sisters Jazakallahu khair
This was an excellent episode. Thank you for being so open and courageous to have this conversation and sharing it with us all. It is a blessing, thank you!
Mach'Allah, you girls have said it all!!! God bless you, can't wait for next season InchAllah!!🙏🏾👍🏾🙏🏾
A really open and honest conversation that definitely needs to be had.
Jzk for that sister’s.
It’s lovely to see 3 bright and inspiring individuals who can get ppl thinking in about this important topic.
There were some key points made and all of your final thoughts about the subject, summed it up perfect Alhumdalilah x
This enlightens my heart to see, beautiful Queens discussing something that is so dear /sensitive to them. I will be looking for the next tea talk.
Amazing. To tackle such a topic is not easy and the sisters are so comfortable with it. AS a 61 years old lady who has been married for 32 years i really appreciate it.
WOW machallah ! I've just fallen in this video and I must congratulate with you for breaking the stereotype of non-sense shyness when talking about these topics in a civil and respected manner
Have enjoyed this season so much and learnt alot from you sisters mashAllah. These discussions are so needed in our community!! Looking forward to season 2
This is one of the best shows I've seen in a long time, I mean all of your episodes are so on point. We need this as a black women to see an all black panel I'm here for it. Thank you ladies
I loved how each sister gave her opinion from her and other perspectives. This is a topic often avoided in our community and i think you gave valid reasons for our elders to be more open about it
I'm not a Muslim, or a woman. But this was intriguing to listen to.
How'd you even stumble upon this video then? Lol.. Just curious to know
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Thank you so much sisters from the bottom of my heart for these honest conversations. You have helped me in so many ways. May Allah reward you abundantly and put Barakah in your life. Please keep doing what you're doing.
I loved this, I felt like I was in the room. I've been missing being around other Muslim Sisters, this is beautiful! please keep these videos going, I love it!
incredible fact
a woman can actually request for khula instantly if she isn't satisfied in that regard by her husband
women have the right to enjoy themselves as much as the man
The taboo around sex comes from Europe/Christianity and spread into Eastern and African cultures as the British and other European countries colonised them. In Christianity, intimacy is considered a lowly, immoral, impure human desire and so, if one wants to dedicate his/her life to God and the Church (i.e., become a priest or nun), they must forsake sex and marriage to live a virtuous life of the highest calling, whereas in Islam, intimacy within marriage is a virtue in and of itself.
May have been true in the past, but certainly not now. Sex in marriage is a gift from God.
Alhamdulilah this shows we have to return to the Sunnah and be balanced about modesty and relationships together and not be like the judeo christianized sufis who forsake the sunnah and follow previous faiths and bidah like sufism set up by colonists to make imams feel good and put ppl down. reminds me of Quran 9,31 how the bidah divides the ppl where as Sunnah is balanced and unite! sufis and shias used to say they can have dreams and change the din like the preists and rabbis used to using excuses like the so called holy spirit. this is an attack on the shahadah and the sunnah, the source and example in being balanced in Islam!
Thats so true btw
If you see how things are in Muslim countries , Where Muslims are the majority these talks are okay amongst women. Especially in family / friends gatherings where women sit together and enjoy all sorts of talks.
That is untrue. Sex is not viewed as “impure” or “immoral” in the Christian faith . Rather it is something that is designed for the context of marriage , as a way to create further intimacy between a husband and wife .
Pure facts my friend!
I’m so glad I came across this video since I can’t even talk to my own mum about these sorts of topics without her making it seem like it’s a sin to even think about it so thank you x
I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED THIS CHANNEL AND I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH; THANK YOU SISTERS FOR TALKING OPENLY ABOUT THIS ISSUES WHEN IT IS CONSIDERED AS INAPPROPRIATE TO TALK ABOUT IT AS A SISTER, IT HELPED ME VERY MUCH
I have been waiting for a second series (hopefully not sounding demanding lool) . We all look forward to it, Ma Sha Allah.
Thank you for this educational talk. We need more of this. We appreciate y'all :)
Extremely intelligent and insightful discourse. And achieved their aim without being crude or risqué... Great to hear such intellectually honest minds.
I’m not Muslim, but I love seeing you have this conversation on a public forum. It’s a human need, it’s a woman’s right as much as the mans right. Keep the conversation alive and teach our younger generation there is no shame to know your own body. 🙌🏻
this is my first time ever coming across your channel and I have to say this is the best video I've come across regarding this topic. you guys all had such a calming genuine presence that I could tell before you even started discussing it this would be a very sincere video. mash'Allah you really exceeded my expectations; everything was articulated so beautifully and its so nice to hear this from other sisters, rather than the usual male persona, or "sheikh" dictating a woman's duty to "provide" and refraining from divulging further than that to discuss the woman's rights in marriage.
I love this topic Alhamdullilah that we no longer shame to talk about this type of topic in public.
This communication must be translated in to all languages and shared to Men and Women Mashallah
Subhan Allah we are finally addressing this topic. Thank you sisters. I wish things like this were more openly talked about before but i am so proud of you ladies bringing this topic up we all really need to hear about this. It is really hard for women in general to deal with these problems.
Thank you for your time and for deciding on this very important topic, certainly everyone would benefit. I perceived the honesty of submissions from all participant. Jazaakumullahu Khair, Mashaa Allaah
I actually cried listening to this. Shukran so much bringing this conversation to light in an Islamic way and context. May Allah be pleased with you all ❤️
There's a quote of a sahabi said he loves to dress up for his wife as he wishes she dresses up for him
Loveeee that!
Ikramah reported: Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Verily, I love to beautify myself for my wife, just as I love for her to beautify herself for me, due to the saying of Allah Almighty: They have rights similar to those over them.” (2:228)
I'm so glad for youtube arithmetics that brought you up on my feed. Very well addressed ladies, I appreciate your honesty and smart talk.
A much needed conversation! Thank you all for putting this out there!
I love this, this is so educational! jazaakumullahu khayran sistsers.
This is a much-needed talk. Part 2 please
So proud of these ladies right here! Being open to talk about topics that are seen as taboo in our cultures / religion we need more open nonjudgmental conversations like this 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Sooo good to hear this conversation out in the open! Good work ladies.
My husband looks at me differently and is totally disconnected when I dress up for him and initiate intimacy. That same husband will be all over me when I look scary and feel dirty. I just can’t win
I'm sorry about that. Maybe try telling him what you like and don't like see if it can help changes things up for the better
I'm so sorry to hear that sis. maybe like a previous sister said talk to your husband. but when you are delivering the message don't say it during a argument or a place of anger sit down have a cuppa or any beverage and sit down or even go for a walk and speak on it sis. good luck