What's the most painful thing you've been told? (Strangers Answer)
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- čas přidán 1. 05. 2024
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When I found out I was pregnant for the first time ever, I called my dad to tell him the news and the very first thing he said to me was, “First test you ever passed. What a flunker!” I was married at 25 and feeling like I did it the way I was supposed to but that comment cut me to the core of my being! My son will be 24 years old this year and he’s an amazing young man but man, those words spoken by my dad killed me!
I THIRST FOR MORE< MORE VIDEOSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! please and i loves you, no need to change i can wait, if that your true will, or dont feel pressure, have fun be your self, ill be chill.
I was told I was ugly by a coworker...I never forgot who said it and how it made me feel. I left that job, and she's one of the only people I remember because of how she made me feel.
“ i wish i would’ve punched you harder” my ex told me after giving me a tbi. I knew then because he said before he didnt remember. And my heart was broken. But that was 7 years ago. Im happily married now with a man who loves me unconditionally.
To the gentleman who was told not to smile. Please start smiling, smile every day, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. You have a lovely kind face.
Here here! I second this motion! 🙋🏻♀️😁
Yes!
When I was a young kid in school someone openly criticized my laugh and it had the same inpact on me for many years even into adulthood but thankfully I'm past that.
Never be ashamed to embrace who you are by expressing positive emotions, it's not only beneficial for You but it's also a gift you share with the world even if not everyone appreciates it❤
I experienced the same, twice, and it still sticks with me…
legit thinking the same thing, he looks handsome!
Imagine you are the reason why someone is continuously feeling sad … that’s horrible
I was thinking that too. Asking this question reminds me to always be gentle with my words!
Luckily a lot of people have learned this in their life. Unfortunately. There are powerful people who never learned this. Constantly making life hard and sad for people who never deserved it. Be it through bills, laws and restrictions or direct hateful behaviour and treatment.
I'm just glad AI have learned it as well. So with more and more installation of AI in the government. We will see more and more limitations as to how these hateful people can roam around in important job posts in the system.
I can't wait for bigoted people to just instantly be laid off and get medication and professional help when they show hateful behaviour. I honestly feel sad for any person living a hateful life. They are all corrupted by something external in their life that got so close it became internal and almost like a part of them and their self-identity.
Some people find this idea powerful. I've known such people. No more, though. No more.
A school friend once told me I was bullying her when we were younger now as adults I feel terrible and even if we are now good friends I feel like I owe her something. At the same tie I remember the people who were mean to me, what they did and said and how they said it
Absolutely! That's why I try and choose my words wisely.
I'll never understand how grown adults, especially parents and teachers, will say the most hurtful shit to kids...
Hurt people hurt people😢
😢😢😢😢
Projection.
After my car broke my down a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by the person who stopped to "help" me. I was distraught and when in that vulnerable state someone I considered a good friend told me "what were you doing there at that time of night?". I stopped talking to her and I didn't feel right about how things ended and so I reached out to her again and she told me that she did not remember why we even stopped talking. That was the most painful thing that I have ever been told. It didn't even register to her.
So sorry you had to go through that. I hope you find new, lovely friends in life
Oh my God, I'm so sorry you experienced that!! Hope you're doing ok now and if I may, you shouldn't hang around with that "friend" if she didn't even remember what she told you.
You deserve real friends who do care about you.
Hugs.
Sometimes people pretend to not remember so they don't have to own up to shit/ their wrong doing.
I hope you're keeping your distance from her
Also her reply seems irrational to what you expressed, are you sure she understood you?
“ if you’re going to kill yourself just get on and do it because I’m tired of waiting” my mother said it me when she was drunk and I was battling depression, I must have been early twenties. Have never forgotten it.
Yet, you are still here! Good job! I am proud of you, and I hope you are doing okay.
Sincerely- A stranger
Oh my god. Just…. **Sigh** 🤦🏻♀️
I’m so so sorry. 😞 She shouldn’t have ever said that, drunk or not. You didn’t deserve it. Shame on her. Whatever, enough about her…. I’m so very grateful that YOU are here with us today. 😁 Every single day that you’re here is a good day. I promise. 💘 And if you ever need a reminder of that come back here, I’ll give you my number and we’ll talk. I have some stuff to say. 💓
I am so glad
That you are still here
Glad you are here ❤️ Jesus loves you so much that He gave His life for you. I hope you are in or can find a good bible teaching church and community - it has changed my life in the best way 🙏🏾
"I just really want someone, who maybe, would want to dream with me" I think that is one of the most beautiful and relatable things I've ever heard. Your videos always bring me to tears in the best way and remind me that humanity does still exist out there. We all put on our masks, but your channel helps remind me that there is actually a person behind it.
This, 1000%. Yes. 👏
I think that's one of the most beautiful things I've heard as well
I really enjoy your videos. Motivates me to see people in more positive light
Telling someone that their laugh/smile is ugly or comments on a laugh/smile in any kind of negative way is just utterly cruel. They are robbing someone of expressing joy and happiness and can really lead to that person never smiling or laughing ever again.
Yeah that happened to me actually, I wasn’t comfortable smiling or laughing in front of people from about age 12 to 22, until I went and got my own teeth fixed
2:46: The fact that a grown woman said that to a young lady is just straight villainous.
When I was in primary school, my teacher tried to send me to a school for disabled people because I was struggling to read the blackboard from where I was sitting.
Turns out that I just needed glasses and the school doctor also told her that too. But that racist teacher and my classmates kept insisting that I was disabled.
What I'm trying to say is that some teachers are evil and should lose their job.
When I was 15 I asked my dad if I could be a stripper and he said I could do whatever I wanted.
This was shortly after my friends mom told me that my b00bs were big so I should consider stripping...
She definitely sounded jealous. A young pretty girl who wants to love their dream
7th grade at St. Luke’s, Mrs. Woods grabbed me by the arm, in front of everyone, and pulled me out of one of the school dances.. it was in the auditorium and she made me go up to our school classroom with bright lights, and said I couldn’t wear a tank top or eyeshadow (like all the other girls, because I had a big chest) because “this isn’t a lingerie show Carley!!” And that going forward in my life, boys will never like me for real reasons. “They’ll never like you for you.”
That shit changed my life. I was a completely innocent child at that point, I hadn’t even kissed a boy.. I was just starting that phase. It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but it was to me, she (along with older men that gawked at me, and other things that started to happen from 11-14) prematurely sexualized me and it fucked me up.
I went and got the biggest breast reduction I could, from the first doctor I could find, at a teaching-hospital, when I turned 18. He, of course, botched it. I completely regret it.
It totally altered my femininity. I don’t show my chest to anyone. I’m now 39, as of yesterday, and still have a messed up relationship with insecurities, my body, my looks, and especially sex and men. **Sigh** I don’t think anyone’s reading this and that’s totally okay! 😁
@@SeattleRaindrop206, my heart breaks for you. May your wounds finally heal.
"I just wanna find someone who will dream with me." Excellent.
For sure you'll find one some day
@@usertopista6633 I was quoting one of your interviewees. I also like,"I'm looking for my kind of weird." Seeing as we're all weird.
I've been divorced 3x's. I no longer desire companionship. But thanks for the encouragement.
@@usertopista6633 Someone doesn't pick up on context clues...
When I was about 7, my adopted mother told me that my biological mom is burning in hell for her sins...my bio mom committed suicide when I was 2 and that was her sin, according to my adopted me. That one comment has stayed with me for my entire life, and I am 59 years old now.
💚💚
Love
Oh my GOODNESS!!! I'm so sorry 😔
That's a wicked thing to say to you, and you've carried that statement throughout your life. Your mum was mentally unwell, and wanted rid of the pain in her life. How tragic that there wasn't anyone she could speak to or get support. I hope you have since been able to learn more about her history and maybe understand her reasons for dying to suicide. I truly hope you don't embrace that wicked seed sown in your life. Your birth mother may have loved you very much! Please forgive me if l've offended you by my comment.
yeah, that one would stick... so cruel to say that actually, like what's the point in telling a child that? Some so-called "Christians" are truly vile
I hope the lady diagnosed with HIV hears how grateful we are for her sharing such deeply painful moment - and feels loved, always. And I hope the gentleman who was told isn’t good looking when he smiles, smiles a lot, seeing how beautiful he is. Thank you to all for sharing sorrow 🧡
Ikr, he's such a handsome guy, I really wanted to see his smile when he said that
Mine is “you are so ugly, I don’t even know why you bother trying with that makeup” that was 20 years ago when I was 14. I still cry when I think about it
Kids are so mean to each other. I remember a kid on the bus telling me I looked like my head had been run over by a truck. He probably had no idea the effect that comments like that have.
I'm sure you're beautiful. Inside and out.
You don't need anyone's validation but you're own. Be an awesome person and you'll always be beautiful.
Don't cry about it ever again. From now on whenever you think of it, immediately say to yourself, they were wrong, I am beautiful. Affirmations can be life changing! 🫶
I'm so sorry . I am sure it was jealousy.
A $20 subway card after being diagnosed with HIV is CA-RAZY.
I know is so dehumanizing the way the nurse handled it
$15
15$
Look, I feel bad for that woman, but as a member of the LGBTQ community who gets tested regularly, I highly doubt that any of those things in her story were a surprise except for the diagnosis.
Many places offer gift cards as an incentive, and there are often testing sites in accessible locations so people can get tested easily.
I fully understand that it was a traumatic experience for her but blaming the location and the gift card are just an emotional reaction. She very likely knew the test location was at a school and knew the incentive was a Subway gift card.
People should not be blaming the nurse or testing site.
That satanic upside-down cross on the face is crazy as well.
My adopted mom told me she wished she had listened to God when she was unable to have children. I'm 59 and it still brings me to tears. :(
I am so sorry. You are worthy and always have been of better love than that. Hugs
I’m so sorry! Wow! 😢
I'm so sorry 😞
Wow, that's awful 😢 I'm not surprised that it still hurts. It's a reflection of her tho, not you ❤
“When someone tells you to repress your emotions, you don’t get acknowledged for it either…”
This is such a brilliant point.
maybe not immediately, but it deffinetly shapes your character and behavior which is how people will identify you.
One of the most painful things I've ever experienced and in realizing everything I repressed and suffered for was for nothing. I never got anything and I never got acknowledged for being good except in school but that was treated by one parent like it was worthless garbage. She wanted me to be rewarded not for my good character or citizenship but for my academics because that mattered more to her. But even when I got acknowledged for the subjects I was good at it still didn't matter. Nothing I did ever mattered to anyone except my dad and my grandma and they both passed away.
Yes it’s dismissive and invalidating
Thoraya, a few video’s ago you mentioned to someone you were talking to that you had kicked around the idea of moving on from your CZcams channel. OMG Thoraya I beg of you please don’t go anywhere. The content you produce is magical, thought provoking, and reflective. This content has some of the most value of any channel on the site. I have learned so much from every single one. Thank you! Thank you !
Hi!! I'm definitely not going anywhere. I think you're referring to a video where I mentioned that I planned on moving somewhere else for my CZcams channel :]
You got a reply from Thoraya herself! She ain’t going nowhere!!!!! (…sorry, I did a little dance while singing that 🎶🪩)
😂 Aye!
She can always take a 4month break and call it 2 months like last time don't worry.
Therapy Girl: it is definitely okay to be a Christian and have a therapist. God is not fanatical. He loves you and knows what you need. Enjoy your therapy and growth!❤❤❤❤
Nothing said by anyone else will cut as deep as what you say to yourself.
We are our own worst enemy.
So true.
Nah, my self-doubts were formed by all the awful shit people said/did to me.
My experience is definitely the opposite. I get down on myself from time to time, but I've had really hurtful stuff said to me throughout my life by others... people I love and who I thought loved me.
You tend not to forget the evil thing said by someone than good words
Damn some of these really pissed me off. Nobody has any right to tell someone what the fuck they can or can't do and I bet those very same people who talked all that shit felt the same way within themselves. Projection is a mofo. I'm glad there are people who didn't let hurtful words derail their lives entirely.
Right?!? I totally totally agree!
Because I let words/hurt (and the inability to get over the past) derail mine, unfortunately. So I think you have the biggest point here, in the comments so far. 👏🗣️🔈
They have every right, but you have every right to not listen....that's how having rights works, welcome to the world...
i’m a hygiene assistant & you’ll be amazed at how many people are insecure, embarrassed, & cry about the look of their teeth - both young and old. the guy at 2:05 honestly broke my heart.
I hear ppl talk about others teeth so much in a very rude way & truthfully his response & how it affected him is why i try my best to be sensitive to other peoples feelings when it comes to their teeth.
Dental work is NOT cheap - especially if it’s cosmetic.
my rule is if a person can’t change it over night, then watch your words bc they really do hurt and (clearly) stick around for a long time.
I always get complimented on my teeth and my smile. I always feel bad if it's said when I'm with a friend/colleague that doesn't have the best teeth. I have really nice teeth because my mom paid for me to get a lot of dental work done. My actual teeth were messed up and always caused issues. No one should be seen as less than because their teeth aren't "perfect" (used in quotes, because what does that even mean?).
6:59 Lots of love to that teacher ❤
She can surely knows she changed that little student's life ♡
To the young person @ 8:00... I'm so glad you are seeking help. Even now it's stigmatized in the Black community. [High key, your mom probably needs therapy.] But keep going, babes! Proud of you!✨🎊
For sure her mom could benefit from therapy. She was that way towards her child because she saw it as a reflection of her and potentially a reflection of her parenting. She was too proud to admit that maybe she is "crazy" and needs help herself. I hope it at least planted the seed in her mom's mind that there's nothing at all wrong with seeking mental health treatment.
Strong people go to therapy to learn self-growth. Weak people do not use the tools in front of them -- some might say --that god offered to them!
Last woman just being casually poetic 🥹
For real.... I was thinking that while I was filming her answer!
Humans go through so many things...
“Everybody deserves to be seen.” 💯❤️
To be seen and to be heard
I love that statement, “I just want someone to dream with me”! Truth be told that’s what we all want!
Remember, if someone says something hurtful, you do NOT have to own that comment. Love yourself more than that.
💯
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porass.
Words can hurt, and cause damage. LONG term damage. Choose your words.
The most painful thing someone has ever said to me is “You are so stupid and you’re never going to be anything”
The most painful but it was necessary.
My life has change for the best since I was told that because I didn’t let those words get me down it only motivated me.
I’m sorry to hear that, I hope everything is going good for you, I can imagine how that made you feel, I was called retarded and abnormal at a young age and that I was incapable of intelligence, but change is a constant, which means to me good is bound to happen.
Well done, you're awesome!
@@Prizzy999 Thank you and so are you! ✌️
You are always enough. Just don’t let your motivation be driven by the pressure of “not going to be anything” because you are something already!
@@simpleduxMB You are absolutely right about that, and so are you, because everybody in this world is a somebody, and everyone is innately born with value!
Videos like this always make me cry. We all go through something,yet we act so cold and emotionless. In reality we just want to love and be loved,to hear and to be heard,to care and to be cared for. I wish people were more honest with one another and be there more for each other. How did we become so distant,so heartless... :(
We don't have to be. We just need to accept that people can be wrong, me and you, and really try to improve your bad side and push it to the good side. I think most people are trying to be smart, know everything, have an opinion on everything etcetera. But just being you makes you interesting
@@user-kw9rb2bg4yThis made me smile 😊
This is so very true. You’re right. We’re not all that different, us human beings. We have the same needs and desires. We all just want to belong and be loved, to connect. Our fears and vulnerabilities create this shell and harden us on the exterior… It’s such a farce. We’re all faking it really.
Same, I wish we could just be honest with each other. 🤝🫂
I was in an abusive marriage. He seemed perfect - until shortly after our wedding. Then he started to belittle and insult me. At some point, he even threatened me. Finally, he hit me. I separated when my daughter was 2 years old. He said so many hurtful things to me that it's hard to name any of them as the worst. For example, he said to our baby: "You see, mommy doesn't love you. All she ever does is cry." I know she doesn't remember that, but it hurt me badly. As I found out later, I probably also had postnatal depression.
The worst thing about being constantly insulted and belittled is that at some point you start to believe it yourself. I needed a lot of time and help from other people to get my self-confidence back. I am now married to a wonderful man who would never hurt me or my children (including his stepdaughter) like that. Never let anyone tell you that you are worth nothing!
Every. Single. Person... In this video... is PRECIOUS. 💖
YES!
Yes ✨❤
"Hurt people hurt people". I read this somewhere and the more I think about it the more I see the truth in it.
Much love Thoraya. Keep giving voice to people to express themselves
The last girl…. A curious person, and someone who can appreciate sober moments and who will dream with me….😢❤
So beautiful....
One of the most hurtful things I’ve been told was from my ex boyfriend who I just broke up with. I was on the phone with him when he remembered something his friend said. His friend said to my ex that he thought he would go for someone with bigger boobs, and butt. And how I seemed to be lacking in that category. My ex then said to my face that I should consider going to the gym and working out so I could get curvier for his benefit.
That was so insanely hurtful to me. To be told by someone you love and find attractive that you could “do better” physically crushed me.
Happy to say I’m not as insecure anymore and I want everyone to know you are beautiful and you should never change your appearance for anybody but yourself. :)
Your ex is a loser and you're better off without him.
You're gonna find the right person and they're gonna love you exactly the way you are as you're already perfect.
Hugs.
@@Prizzy999thank you :) hugs
You dodged a bullet by getting away from that guy. 💟✨ There's not enough maturity and intelligence there for any girl!
Oh, and empathy of course. Sounds like he had none.
Good luck to you, beautiful 😊✨💟
This is very honest, vulnerable and poignant.
It’s weird, but I guess the most painful thing I’ve been told was mostly unspoken. As a teenager in the eighties, my mom told me that my dad’s brother had m*lested both my sisters. It happened 10 years prior, and my sisters had confided in her. My mom was just going to let it go, which blew my mind. She wasn’t even going to tell my dad about his brother - who was a confirmed child abuser, m*olester (of his own daughters and multiple nieces), a spousal abuser, and a serial adulterer. I was outraged and told my dad. He became very upset - at ME - and he and my mom yelled at me for telling him. Another kick in the gut is that they continued to be on good terms with my creepy uncle and traveled the 2 hour round trip, frequently, to visit him. I have experienced multiple traumatic events in my life, like many of you, but this is in the top ten. It was like calling the cops, and the cops show up and take the bad guy’s side and start shooting at you. It’s partly why I’m in therapy and have poor mental and physical health. My uncle and my dad have since passed away. Last fall I tried talking to my sisters (who never thanked me for defending them) and my mom about all this. They have completely rejected me and don’t communicate with me. So much so that I had a heart attack a couple of months ago (largely due to stress because of them not communicating) and they never contacted me while I was in the hospital - and they knew I was there and why. A few weeks later my mom emailed my wife to complain about me. Then, about 5 weeks after my heart attack, my mom texted me and was talking to me like I was dead - like how you hear about people who are grieving, texting someone who has passed away. All they had to do decades ago was extremely easy - kick the child predator out of your life and love your own children. So, yeah, I’m in my 50s and my birth family has cut me off and painted me as a bad person for standing up to a predator. Seems like a no-brainer that the child predator would be the actual bad guy. And they all blame me for my problems.
It's not your FAULT that you have problems, but it sucks they are your responsibility.
It sounds like your family might have a lot of problems of their own if they're content to bury things like that. I think the best thing for you is to move on from them and kick ass in your own way.
Maybe you do have problems, but you clearly have a lot of courage to come out and say something about your uncle. That's how I know you can build an awesome life all on your own.
Sorry that you were ostracized by your family for doing the right thing. Its like telling your best friend that their partner is being unfaithful and end up being the evil one. My mother who has no contact with my grandmother my late gradfather, her two sisters and all cousins. Called me a couple of years ago asking me for help. At the time living with my father, my sister and my gf. She was ranting about getting beat up by her boyfriend and wanting money for her silence. Well I had the brilliant idea of not telling my father who has a horrible relationship with her (But never got divorced) and inviting her in for two weeks. Its been 6years now and we all had to leave. Because of the absolut hell she puts everyone through. The worst thing about it is not that that action changed the dynamic of every relationship I had with family. But is that she regrets coming in the first place and hates being here. I got all the blame for helping my Mom or so I thought "helping". To be fair everyone is terrified of my mother as she is extremely explosive and unstable. My mother is also the same person that said "never have children" as in biological. I was in disbelief so was my friend J. I was also 11 years old. She is mentally ill I vist my old home frequently to check up spend time ( because she has no friends) groceries and phone bill because she is overqualified and too old to work. When I call my grandmom (moms Mom) because she never calls, she asks " hows mom", I dont want to worry her she knows how her daughter is. Im going to leave it at that. I was not going to write so much but you really opened up and I just wanted to say you are not alone you probably know that but lets make the world a better place. Best,
Have you considered that your family might be narcissistic? And that you are in the role of the scapegoat? you should look into it.
@@MAXWUZHEAR thank you, and wow. I’m sorry you are dealing with all of that!
@@user-oi9lk1kr8l yes, thanks - I’ve looked into it - there at least 2 narcissists. My mom and her middle child - my sister - her golden child. There may have been 3 when my dad was alive. My oldest sister is usually in the role of scapegoat with myself as the invisible child (hence my user name), but I alternate between invisible and scapegoat.
8:35 I told my 11 year old he was crazy he then turned and told me normal is overrated I was so proud
Fake internet comment is fake
I have been torn down all my life, but when my only son said I was a bad mom and he no longer wants to see me 😢. I truly did the best I could as a single mom ….just wasn’t what he feels he needed.
"There's nothing else we can do for him. I'm so sorry. It's time to say goodbye." Just fill in the blanks...
Mine was my mom told me "I never wanted kids." So I gave her what she wanted. We haven't talked since 2021, and my life is so much better without her.
It is so sick the hurtful things that people say to others.
Thank you Thoraya and participants. 😭💔❤❤
It breaks my heart so much, always be kind for everyone is battling demons
When my crush told other "I don't care about him" (me), and I was there. That was like more than 10 years ago but whenever I think about it that voice just refreshes like it happened yesterday.
I'm so sorry :(
The most hurtful thing I was ever told was when the only girl I've ever confessed to told me that I wasn't "there" in looks. Killed my confidence for the next 3 years and onwards.
Man I am so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve that💗
@@strawberripawz. Thank you, someone commented "I don't care, my friend." and just deleted it right after haha
Well good thing you dont need them to care. You're going to be alright, if you're not already
@@Exilir8 now that’s just fucking disgusting. I’m sorry someone commented that :(
I hear that. I’ve never had a girl just come right out and say it to my face like you did, though (sorry). But once I realized (later in life than it probably should’ve taken me) I’m just not attractive to women (definitely not hot, no money, not charming, not smart, not highly accomplished, usually very quiet, etc.), a lot of things that happened/didn’t happen in my life started to make sense. I’m a ginger (shriek!) and I’m absolutely positive everyone (including family) were/are reflexively repulsed by how I look. I’m 100% sure my closest family members hated me from birth because of my complexion and red/orange hair color. (There are cute ginger babies. I just wasn’t one of them.) I wish I had something more than “I feel you, bro” to say to you. I just don’t. Best wishes to you for all of your days.
To the last girl, thanks for sharing your story. I found so many things I could relate to in both your answers. It's amazing how similar people's stories can be, sending love
My old man is cold and indifferent. He was not abusive in the sense of beating us or anything like that, but he never made himself accessible. So when I was 14 it came as a shock when he came in drunk one night. And started telling me that I was lazy, fat, I am not doing anything with my life (again 14 at the time) and then after a bit more he paused.
He put his hands on my shoulders, looked my in the eyes and made sure to make eye contact and told me. You are a disappointment. THat one stuck with me, because as I said he was always distant and usually just never talked. So while he was never physically abusive or constantly shouting. What made that stick was that he simply told me how he honestly felt, and sadly was not positive. One of the few times I can say he was being honest with me, but I never let his words have power. I became a US Marine and created my own life, I knew from a young age I never needed his approval to be happy or successful. And I can happily say I was right.
That's the message I got from my old man, too. That I'm a disappointment. I'm still surprised when people like me. But now that I'm older I see that people DO like me. I'm kind and honest and I like to laugh. Funny thing is, he was the disappointment. Stay true to yourself, stay kind- you got this!
@@bodie1098 Yeah, I never let it bring me down, it was just shocking in the moment, for him to go from never really wanting to talk to suddenly, hey this is how I honestly feel about you. Kind of out of left field, I joined the Marine Corps after my graduation and never looked back.
Seems we have similar fathers and I hope the best for you as well, their words aren't fact and only becomes true if we allow it to be. Cheers mate!
To the lady (approx 5:30) I am you further along the process. It will get better, it will take as long as it takes but you will be yourself again & you will be able to love again. It took me 5 years but I got there & I'm sure you will too ❤
It's sad that this it's more common than people would like to believe. I'm 2 years and 5 months out and what she said resonated too much.
I’m still healing after 4 years and 4 months … There’s no time limit … what you went through hurt …. be kind to yourself ❤
so... the guy used her to get his degree then ditched?.. man... I've known of girls doing that to guys but I guess treachery knows no gender. I'm sorry this happened to you . 😢
He used her to get his degree. That hurts. It's treachery. I am nearly 5 yrs in.
Most painful thing said to me is "you have no redeemable qualities" and "you dont love your partner and they dont love you". Everyone has pros and cons but saying there is nothing good about you is pretty rough. And telling someone they dont love someone? How are you able to say something like that? The part that makes it hurt so much is the context around it being said. It was my best friend's girlfriend. She said it right in front of my best friend and he didnt defend me at all. In fact, he tried justifying her by saying it was just her perspective. Later, he confirmed she said these things (and more) just to try and hurt me. There is a lot more to the story but I am no longer friends with him. He chose her and called me immature for asking for an apology. Just crazy how such an evil statement had a domino effect that led to the ending of a 10+ year best friend relationship. And btw, I am happily married to my partner now.
It felt so good listening to the last girl... sometimes actually seeing someone going through the same thing is so healing
When I was in grade 4 my mother told me that I had been an a$$hole since the day I was born. She hated that I was the opposite of her and hated that I was such a well behaved child. Everyone(other than my mother) told me how good of a baby I was because I never cried and I slept a lot. I knew at a very young age that my mother didn’t like me and so I made sure to be a good kid and not get in trouble in the hopes I could get her to like me, but unfortunately it never worked. She walked out when I was 17 and has now been out of my life longer than she was in it. My experience made me realize how different of a life I wanted and to be proud of the person I’ve become.
Wishing you all the very best for the future. You are worth so much more than your mom. Good on you for making your own path and not being torn down by such a cruel individual!
Good riddance, you're an amazing person!!
Omg. Terrible human being. May you keep going. You're enough for yourself.
I’ve been told abuse is okay and that I’m never going to live my life to the fullest
I’m so sorry :(
Do not believe that for a second and please stay away from all abusive relationships, family ones included.
Hugs x
The most hurtful thing in my life is my family telling me I’m no one, I’m no good, I don’t need nor deserve sh!t.
You matter. You deserve love and a beautiful life. They have their own issues, so they put all of their shit on you. Just keep making the right choices so that you can become independent. That way you don't have to tolerate their bullshit. As a soul to another soul: I love you! Go shine your light!
@@Elena-es7sc ty stranger 😓
I’m 44 now, and a mom too. Being stuck with an abusive mentally unwell father themselves, every single day of my life, my only concern is to do the right thing by them and myself.
PLEASE do not believe what they told you. You matter and you're already someone, probably the world to someone else.
Believe in yourself, always.
They were wrong 💚
I think the most painful thing I've heard was when I expressed that I was proud of myself and that I felt really good about myself inside and out, and my former partner looked at me like I was crazy and said "why?".
misery loves company...don't it? looks like your partner didn't feel the same about themselves so..
I’m sorry hug 🫂
@7:56 I completely agree with her. I have not told my mom that I am theapy because of the same reasons: "your life did not have any trauma; why are are going to therapy, etc. I do not want tell her because of the same sayings of your are okay, you do not need therapy.
My mom told me as a joke when I was little that I looked like I had cancer and I just had my hair wrapped up under a little towel. I also was depressed when I was in high school and she looked at me disgusted and told me I looked like a fart. I’ve joked about this but deep down it’s stuck with me out of all the insults I’ve heard. Recently, my little sister has cussed me out and taken her anger out of me unnecessarily. She told me “this is why nobody loves you and people cheat on you, you should’ve stayed in *state* and ugly 🍑 b**** amongst other things. Mental and emotional abuse is worse than physical and I’ve experienced all. Honestly, to have light and love in your heart after all is the most amazing thing. I’m proud of myself and anyone that has a big heart and dealt with situations they should’ve never dealt with. I’ve watched thoroya since high school and this is what continues to inspire me day to day. I’m in nursing school and I graduate in a year. Even tho I’ve been taken advantage my whole life I will always strive to be better and not give up on following my purpose. If anyone reads this keep going…don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from the potential you know you have. Keep spreading
When I was 17 my mom told me that no one would want to marry me because of my terrible attitude. She passed away in 2019 when I was 22. I got married in November 2023 but I still think about that comment my mom made. I wish she could’ve seen me married and known that I’m not terrible and someone did want to marry me.
That’s so terrible to hear from your mother. I’m sorry you had to go through that. :( I’m glad you didn’t let her words stop you and I hope you have a happy and fulfilling life!
🫂
You deserve to be happy ❤May Lord Buddha bless you ❤🙏
@@Lifegoeson166 Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. He will heal me from this hurt ❤️
@@jz3718 Jesus is your lord and Buddha is my one and only lord. I don't know but it is so sad for me that as a human being , you only saw religion in my sincere wish for you. I am sorry but honestly I'm disappointed.
To the teacher who uplifted and affirmed her student.
THANK YOU 🙏 teachers have so much important influence over children’s lives and emotional health.
I still remember every one of my elementary school teacher’s names.
To the young lady whose mom implied she has mental issues and is a bad Christian bc she takes care of her mental health by going to therapy/counseling, in addition to prayer,
please know that attitude is generationally common among older (Silent Gen, Boomers and probably some Gen X) Black American and other POCs.
I and many people I know who are BIPOC have older relatives who have that mindset.
They believe therapy means you are either crazy or at best, weak minded and lacking a backbone.
They say this stuff bc they didn’t have open support systems themselves or people they could turn to to get support when trauma happened. So they turned to the Word and prayer only.
Otherwise they just “took it” and consider it a badge of strength to not ask for help or to speak to someone.
As it exists today, there was no such thing as going to a therapist or counselor for these generations of Black people when they were your age.
Your mom likely thinks your “weakness” (it isn’t) is a is some kind of reflection on her as well bc most if not all parents see their kids as mirrors of themselves.
If she did not need it, she thinks YOU shouldn’t either. It’s her pride speaking.
Who are you, because this was beautifully written.
@@LivingOnPurpose1 Thank you.
"(HIV) motivated me, put me in a spot where I need to grow and it put me the lane where no one wanted to see the person like me shine with it. And I took that under my wing. I took my pain and made in into pleasure for the world to see."
I had life-changing condition recently and needed to hear that. GO GIRL!!!!!!✨✨✨🙌💪💯I am with you sis.❤
For me it was when my dad said, “Why is it when every time there is an argument you always cause it. You are the center of all of our problems.” He didn’t even bother to apologize to my face. All I got was a text saying, “sorry.”
You know, you have the ability to make each & every person seem just so lovely to me. They open up & expose their inner self to you and it just makes them beautiful. And the blurry background yet clear focus on their faces and your music and editing is just perfection Thoraya!! You are a dear & interesting person and you do good work. ♥️
Ditto!! ♥️♥️♥️
"I want someone who wants to dream with me" really felt that ❤
Good God there are so many wonderful, gorgeous, kind, smart people in this video... breathtaking.
I love listening to all this heartfelt stories from people from other parts of the world
When my dad died, my best friend told me not to talk to him about it because he didn't know what to say. At first I was very shocked, but then realised I'd totally misjudged him and cut him off completely. False friends aren't worth any effort.
When I was around 14 and I used to hang around with my sister and her friends until my mom picked us up from school. In front of all of her friends she said 'No one will ever love you and you'll always end up alone.' And they all laughed and she left me alone while she stayed with her friends... i'm 27 now, and it still hurts.
As per usual so much beauty in your videos! Thank you for this!
These videos are making me live my life again. Thank you, Thorayaa❤
I told my mom i was HIV positive and she laughed in my face and said thats what i get for my lifestyle choice. My dad told me he wished he had a badass son like his nephews.
awhhh that is so crual .... stay strong buddy and take this thing as a boosting thing to move forward ! take care of yourself ❤
@@Sarahdiaryyz thanks my top priority is my art now im done with putting others above myself and trying to make and keep everyone else around me happy or comfortable
@@adrianpi513as you should ! i'm done with this too the thing that matters is myself !
Do not listen to them. HIV may happen to everybody for whatever reason, even a simple blood transfusion.
Think about yourself and your mental and physical health.
Stay strong.
@@adrianpi513 man, eff them! They don't deserve you. Not all parents should be parents.
At 15 I got the courage to ask who my real father was. My mother replied with a random name and said “He wouldn’t care if you were alive or dead”. 35 years later and the thought of it brings tears to my eyes.
Thoraya, you are a brilliant woman for doing this. Most powerful thing on CZcams breaking down barriers. You are an angel.❤❤❤❤❤
not related to the topic at hand but your content always helps bring me back to earth. keep doing what you’re doing 🙌🏾 this is healing
“ You gonna be okay “ 🤎🙃
Beautiful answers from beautiful people. You can tell these people really enjoy talking with you, Thoraya.
I appreciate the tears I share with your guests as they vent their experiences.
Watching your videos when I wake up
first thing in the morning is So emotionally cleansing for me because it helps me to shed the pain I was unable to hide from and shake the night before😭
Thank You!❤
I love what the one lady said about “ you just have to feel everything for as long as you need to”. This is profoundly true & when you finally understand it life becomes so new for you. She’s so Beautiful.🌺 Thank you for posting this 🫶🏾
watching this just made men realise how beatyful people is, real people, their “flaws” are what makes them beautyful, their little expressions with their face, the vulnerable soft voice, the lighting, they look so captivating. How I missed seing natural beauty on these apps, the light in their eyes, I fell in love with each and every one of them.
4:44 Being there for someone in that capacity takes a lot, self-awareness, strength, love, patience, kindness, emotional intelligence. Good job! You did your part. For it to all go away after providing support, hurts like hell. I’m so sorry ❤️. Gotta love the Moms. Went through the same, “Mom” kept in touch and is the sweetest lady.
Thank you for your channel. I really feel like everybody’s comments and answers were very authentic and true I could literally spend a whole weekend watching this channel
Thank you to the very kind lady who is a teacher. To make a difference in the life of a child is just huge. I grew up feeling invisible too. I wish you had been my teacher. The smallest kindness shown to me as a child shines in my memory still 🙏
YES OMG !!!! I love those Thoraya more please 🥺🙏🏽
Resonated so deeply with all of these people. Each one of you are beautiful, worthy of so much love.
Smile dude! Your smile will light up the environment!
I always feel better after watching your content❤Thank You
Thank you for being a good dad to the kids-- From the mother of my kids shortly after our split. Everything is so fresh. Feeling of an uphill climb. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
I needed this therapy ,,there's a lot of in my mind now
When listening to these and how everyone can see that they still hurt shows that words really do hurt more than physical sometimes. It stays with you....
The sad thing personally is that I cant find which one thing would be most hurtful.... theres too many
Worst thing I've been told is "I wish you've never been born"
But we're all happy you were.
Big hugs xx
@@Prizzy999 Thanks☹️❤️
"I just want someone to dream with me "~~~ I really felt that.🥺
The 1st woman... Wow, courageous, confident and conquering ❤🙏
One of the most painful thing I was told was by myself. Telling myself I wasn’t good enough and not deserving of anything good especially love after hearing same things from someone I was with.
Messed me up for years until today. I got dumped by a boy I like and deeply care about. All my fault though. He was a good person to me and I didn’t value him enough. I wasn’t physically or emotionally available because I didn’t know how to be that because I was in a really abusing relationship for a year and it messed me up. Been dealing with the issues for two years and just realized how horrible I’ve become. I don’t know if I’d get a second chance with this person. Although it hurts so so bad, especially because I never told him how I really felt about him and how much he means to me, I want to do better. It’s been almost week and it’s so hard that I have to see him a lot and pretend like I’m okay cause I don’t know if I can tell him now. I have a lot to say but yeah.
I can’t tell my friends about it. It’s burning me inside. At this point, I’m holding on to God to help me cause all I do is cry and talk to God about every emotion I feel.
I believe he’s listening. I just want the hurt to stop.
Sending love & prayers to you honey! ♥️ 🍯
You have to feel your feelings. Understand why you feel the way you feel. If you honestly think you deserve a second chance, then let that be known to him in the best way possible. In whatever way that might be. Have hope, have courage, have sense of mind, have love for yourself when it’s needed most. Good luck.
I love all of these people. So much.
I always love these, thanks Thoraya ♥️
The worst thing I was told was that if I kept doing what I was doing, I would die in a matter of weeks.
What were You doing if I may ask?
@@milka5523I wasn’t eating
@@strawberripawz. I hope You are ok now ❤
@@strawberripawz.We'll they were right.
@@milka5523 I am now💗 thank you
Amazing content 😊
Thanks Thoraya💖💖 that last ginger girl was so sweet, I hope she finds true love.
Thorayas videos always bring great perspectives. ✨ Don't ever judge people, try to understand them and listen. Everyone has a story to tell.