5 Signs of Manipulative Behaviors and How to Deal With It
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- čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
- In this video, we're going to discuss 5 signs of manipulative behaviors and how to deal with them. manipulative people can be tough to deal with, but with a little sensitivity and understanding, you can start to take control of the situation and protect yourself.
If you're ever feeling threatened or overwhelmed by someone you know, be sure to watch this video for tips on how to deal with the situation. It'll help you understand why the manipulative person is doing what they're doing and give you some tips on how to protect yourself.
Do you relate to these signs and realized that you might be unintentionally manipulative? We have a video on that too: • 5 Signs You're Uninten...
Writer: Stela Kosic
Script editor: Denise Ding & Kelly Soong
Script manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Steven (New Animator)
Narrator: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
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Amazing topic
Nice Video, would be nice of you guys could make another video about manipulation withe groups or complex manipulation. As a little example, do you guys know the anime „classroom of the elite“? It‘s basecly just about manipulation withe bigger groups and i personetly think that the topic would be interessting. Your one of my favorite Chanel, pleas keep going.
I have a good friend who is stuck with a group of three girls who match these descriptions perfectly. She suffers a lot because of them and couldn't get away because she sits with them at school and there are no free seats left. What should she do?
@@kavinprabu9330 Thats difficuld cause i don‘t know the Details, but she could try to geht a boyfriend or a Fake boyfriend at least for a week or to and look how they reakt. In the case that it is a real boy friend they wouldn‘t probably do anything and if they do the boyfriend may protekt her. In the case that that it is a fake boyfriend and they broke up and she do as if she would be sad (or is sad) they MAY stop „making bad things“ to her if thats the case. May be they even give her some time. It‘s Important to May be even wrrite down how they reakt so she can think about it and what her options are. I hope this may could be a help. LG
Im manipulative on accident so I’m watching this to fix that
There’s also what I like to call “lesslighting” when a person tries to make it seem like a thing they do/did is not as bad as how bad it really is which is way more contagious because of how believable someone can make it
That's very interesting. Do you personally know an example of "lesslighting"?
I'll explain, and this is a very true example.
I was 13, and I played with fire in April 2000.
I was a mental and emotional wreck at that time. I lost my very important things, including all of the video game consoles I had at that time. My family was angry at me for that. Luckily, we got back home at the end of the year, but suddenly, I felt like, if I didn't do right through everything, I would've failed everybody. So, I've "less lighted" myself in a way.
@Xychi_x my mom too, unfortunately...
this "lesslighting" is something i see often. people will do something absolutely horible and then make points to make it seem 'not as bad'
its not good.. at all.
These mothers are trippin.
This came at the right time. Dealing with a narcissist is a roller coaster.
I've dealt with several in my life, including my own father, several "friends" (I lost ACTUAL friends this way), and several managers/coworkers of mine. It's so annoying how often I run into these types of people and I feel like I cannot escape as quickly as I wish.
@@DeRez19 I'm so sorry. I know how emotionally draining it is. I was married to one for 19 years, and we have a child together so that's the only reason I still have to interact with him.
This came at a perfect time too. My parents are finally get a divorce, and my dad is a narcissistic, selfish, emotional abusive person
@geekyarleenie how were you finally able to break away?
@@evhiii79 It's interesting. For 19 years, he cheated, lied, emotionally abused me--and to this day still denies a lot of those behaviors or claims it was my fault.
But the last straw was when his narcissistic behavior affected my bedridden mom (she suffered a stroke and was paralyzed on her right side). The fact that he acted like she was an inconvenience to him was the final straw. I decided I didn't want to be with a person like that anymore.
Oh god, gaslighting and guilt tripping are the ones with a narcisstic friend. I definitley understand why I was always feeling miserable, low valued, mentally drained and low confident, because us as victims always play into the narcissists wants and needs to satisfy them (despite all the un-necessary criticism and damage we get from them).
Timestamps
1). Playing the victim 0:41
2). Gaslighting 1:11
3). Passive aggression 1:48
4). Guilt tripping 2:24
5). Cruel humor 3:12
6). What to do 3:52
7). Distance yourself 4:27
8). Don't give any meaning to what they say 4:52
9). Ask for advice 5:17
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
👍
@@Hi_Havenhappy to help
Again?hero🙏👍
@@unknown11215thanks for the compliment 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Ty this helped!
Guilt tripping was the main thing my Mom used against me since childhood. I still have issues but when I became an adult and I dont rely on them for a place to live anymore, I told my parents Im done with the guilt tripping. Once I told them that I wont take that anymore and if they do I wouldnt talk to them anymore. Theu changed their tune pretty fast. Just wish they stopped while I was a kid because I still feel guilty even when I shouldn't. It sucks when people you trust do that to you because of the power dynamic between parents and a child.
I will admit I am passive aggressive and I do guilt trip sometimes in my relationship, but most of the time I don't and can communicate in an effective way. I'm trying to stop my manipulative tactics, though sometimes I don't even know I'm doing them.
Likewise. We'll get there! :)
You might be doing it unconsciously mostly because of trauma...
@@limitlessfelh1109 I don't think I have trauma. My mom does guilt trip and is passive aggressive so I guess I got it from her
At least you are working on improving yourself, that's what counts.
@@iiantixsocial i'm working on it too. Never know i have those things until i'm really desperate to connecting me with my partner. How we have healthy and real communication. Sometimes if it's healthy too, there will be mis-interpretation.
A good video for me today. My older brother completely lashed out at me several hours ago. He finished the argument with; ‘Remember, YOU’RE the one who ruined this beautiful relationship between us! We had a bond!”
I’m quite upset. But I was also not blind to his behavior. It was almost laughable to me, because when he walked in to start an argument the first thing out of his mouth was: ‘I’m not apologizing.’
And when I called him out on it, he kept trying to get ME to apologize, and bringing up how he supported me in the past, etc.
Sigh. Too bad we live together. I’ve been aware of his toxicity (threatens he would ‘stop being nice’ as if his love came with attachments) for a while now. How easy for it to blow up in my face.
I’m glad to come across this video. I feel less unreasonable in how I barely gave much interaction aside from calmly telling him there wasn’t anything to say if no true apology is present.
When the environment you grew up in was controlled by one or more manipulator(s), all you’ve seen modeled is manipulation. Therefore, someone who doesn’t intend to be manipulative may use manipulation to get the results they want and be genuinely surprised when they’re called out for it. If the person matters to us, we can help them understand the situation from a healthier perspective. It also helps if we model interactions that aren’t manipulative, humor that isn’t sarcastic or belittling, and personal responsibility for words and actions.
As someone who (almost) lost his life to manipulators who used some of these tactics in-order to extort profit from me I very much enjoyed this video. It was very informative. Extremely accurate.
Great video. Big love from Maddy!
Same here ❤
As someone who recently had a huge argument with a long time friend
Who I felt comfortable enough to tell them that something they did hurt me
They lashed out at me and did every single thing in this video over the process of the next days
Dragging other friends into it
I had trusted them deeply and the anger and hatred they expressed was something they never talked to me about
They just ,,expected" me to know that I'm at fault for everything and should apologize
Suffice to say I've been trying to do my best to cope
And while in the heat of the argument I also said some angry things
I have apologized and approached them multiple times over and over
While they couldn't even acknowledge that my feelings exist
To put it short
I've lost all trust and security in them as a friend and I am currently setting boundaries and keeping distance, hoping that while I do so
She doesn't continue gossipping and smacktalking me to other friends
@Xychi_x Thank you
It's hard because I trusted her so much but I cope and I have gotten better at moving on so currently she's just the one being passive agressive
Thank you for commenting
I hope you never have to lose a friend like that! Best wishes from me
@Xychi_x two words to explain her behaviour *Victim mentality*
I am sorry you had to deal with that. We all grow at different speeds in our lives and it could be argued you have grown up faster than this other person. It's not your fault that they don't empathise with your feelings. I don't personally believe that we should feel entitled to it as we should give compassion to ourselves.
The best way forward in my opinion would be to be the bigger person here, and do the hard thing which is to show love and compassion that they don't have the same compassion towards you. Always keep the door open when they're ready to reach out just as you have done with setting your boundaries, but stay open minded as they might change, but there is no guarantee.
Life is unfortunately a crazy ass maze that if you get lost, it can feel like it takes a while to find the right direction again but I hope you'll be okay, reach out to other people and hope that they learn so in the future they can be a good friend to whoever they end up crossing paths with in the future, if that person is not you, at least they learned.
im in the exact some situation as you are rn. hope everything goes well for you :')
If she did all that she clearly doesn’t want to be your friend. Im sorry but its the truth, there are other people out there 🙁
Honestly I think one of the hardest parts is that you can't always protect yourself from manipulators because as long as a friendship goes well
It's not noticable sometimes
But then when an argument ensues true colours are shown
Is there a possibility to make a video on how to cope with Manipulative behaviours in friendships ?
Loved the video!
This, except I cannot actually argue with the manipulator in question because she is my manager and she can fire me on a whim for just talking back. She always tries to get me angry but I stay cool and I can tell she gets irritated. She wants me to do something ridiculous out of anger so she can fire me... not on my watch.
yup. this makes me feel better abt the situation where i called someone out. i still suffer from it to this day, but i was right and i did all the right things
This is said very perfectly. And I agree totally.
It's good to remember that being or exhibiting behaviour of passive aggression does not make you a manipulator! I'm guility of being passive aggressive and have been called out on it by a few people in my life, and I think that's mainly because I have a terible way of communicating sometimes! But most importantly, if someone doesn't fullfill your wishes and you ignore their texts, as exampled in the video, that's not a great form of passive aggressive behaviour and more so self care! ;) If you fall into the trap of being a passive aggressive person, you're not inherently a bad person, but perhaps those you're trying to communicate with aren't effective listeners, and more importantly, fail to respect your boundaries, needs, and wants. Hope that helps.
Perfectly timed. Dealing with an ex who is extremely manipulative. Dealt with their cruel humor the other day.
✨Timestamps & Major Points✨
1. 0:42 Playing the victim
2. 1:12 Gaslighting
3. 1:48 Passive aggression
4. 2:23 Guilt tripping
5. 3:13 Cruel humor
6. 3:53 What to do
7. 4:26 Distance yourself
8. 4:52 Don't give any meaning to what they say
9. 5:16 Ask for advice
If you're ever friends with someone who exhibits manipulative behavior, please make sure to either tell them to stop or to drop them as a friend. Continuing to be friends with someone with this type of behavior can land you in bad situations and a bad headspace.
I find it hard yo communicate and donkin fuckin writs
Funny thing is I seem to have a problem with manipulating people without trying, but when I do on purpose it always fails, which is good but annoying.
Thank you Amanda, the team, researchers and everybody whom contributes in the comments section to benefit us and each other, you are truly appreciated.
I see, experience, understand that gaslighting narcissists, in their souls, heart-mind-body, Creeds-Methodologies-Characters-Dealings-Customs as highly fake, two faced, hypocritical, superficial, double standards, condemning, nit picking, full of self doubts, listful, misconceptions, I do not like them, nor am I interested, impressed nor feel remorse, sympathy towards them, nor compassion nor empathy, towards those who persist upon stubborn rejection of the truth and looking down on people, compulsive lying, jealous, fragile egotistical, greedy, seeking honour through wealth and property, putting others down, whilst not being mentally ill hence excused, not accountable for their speech and actions, doing it on purpose, defending, excusing, slandering, defaming, negative, miserable, brain drain, toxic, weird, demonic, disturbing, stuck on stupid, pre islamic ignorance ways, ways of thinking, plotting, scheming, feeling, saying and doing, and extra secretive, feigning ignorance and misunderstanding, psychopathic, sociopathic, using their feminine traits to set up, kill, electrocution, hacking, stalkerware, gang stalking, racketeering, scamming, pitting families against each other, tricking, maniputing, deceiving, whispering through devices, hidden cameras and microphones by proxy smart technology, denial, coercive control, using impostor or impersonators, prostitutes, music, intoxicants, sorcery, twisting and obscuring, omission of their crimes, oppression, torture, transgression, animosity, racism, colourism, tribalism, negative stereotyping, prejudice, mimicking, backstabbing, Islamaphobia, Xenophobia, projecting insecurities, seeking reactions and attention for their stupidity, apologies for their crimes and trying to incriminate us and others for some one up childish, immature, mind game based on covering up the truth, blackmail emotional and religious, character, honour and to want people to become Nihilist-Freemason, Communist, LBGTQI+ and drug users, sellers and abusers, messing with them, causing drama, CPTSD, fracking pipelines, sleep deprivation, vulnerabilities, false witness testimony, accusations and allegations against us, deleting their own crimes, tyranny, instigating, triangulation, love bombing, enmeshment, discard, repeat phrases, show resentment, despising, disdain, outright rejection, mockery and belieing Islam and the Sunnah and the Believers upon the Truth, the Truthful Ones, want to cripple, make one waste their life away, use ablation to microwave and burn our brain, sperm testes, bones, teeth, stomach, nerves, body, limbs, insides out, whilst knowing and understanding the truth, cuckoo, sandwich, threaten people if they say anything, they will get their families killed, try to make everybody feel sorry for them, I hate them for Allah, nothing personal against anybody, Muslim or not, they are not worth being friends with, business partners or associates nor getting married to nor as acquaintances to bring close and invite to Islam and the Sunnah, the purpose of our creation, our covenant with Allah and His Sole Right to be Worshipped Alone, rejection of belief in and worshipping the creation and sorcery, religious extremism is innovations which are rejected in belief and practice and speech. By believing in and following Muhammad, The Messenger of Allah, The Last Prophet Sent as a Mercy unto all Jinn, Humans and all that exists, and His Noble Wives and His Noble Companions and their Creed-Methodology-Character-Dealings-Customs combined and approach, understanding and consensus and agreement upon The Texts and The Arabic Language and Context, of their Successors and theirs until this day of ours and until the Hour is established, we have success, everything we need is in The Final Revelations of The Noble Qur'an and The Prophetic Sunnah (Way) and Hikmah (Wisdom - Laws and Rulings and Intent) and The Sabeel (Trodden Path) of the Believers (The Noble Wives and Companions of The Prophet Muhammad).
I view these types of people as either forced at weapon point against their will into that racketeering scamming life and or mentally excused, pardoned, genuinely also because their life, property and dignity and womenfolk, out of genuine fear not pleased, loving, liking, thinking it to be good oe beneficial or befitting or just, fair or equitable, correct, justifiable to do so, but the aforementioned are truly on the line and they cannot do anything about it, if they say anything about it, fearing the consequences and or demon inspired and from the evil whispers and commands of their selves and ego which is a liar, due to corruption in their Creeds-Methodologies, being corrupted themselves and destroyed or almost, weakness of faith levels, sheer Hypocrites in beliefs, meaning they Disbelieve in Allah and the Afterlife and Islam and Prophet Muhammad and The Qur'an and Sunnah and The Way of His Household and Companions, but are with the non Muslims when it comes to get some protection of their lives, property, reputation, as they falsely claim and are with the Muslims with another face and claim and appearance, showing off, perpetrating a fraud and faux display of being Muslims, male or female, mockery of Allah, His Signs and Miracles and Verses and Speech and it is not Created and His Messenger and sin and fault finding, hating Islam and Muslims, envying, wanting them to slip by their jealously, animosity, hatred, grudges, pretentious ways, speech, actions, gossip, malicious tale carrying, slander, defamation, distorted media and wanting to be one step ahead, appearing one way, but intending another, never straight up and straightforward, not truthful, cannot be trusted, or they have most or many of their traits in speech and actions like weak faith having Muslims, whom believe it is unlawful to say and do such things, but are trialed with such.
We are free from, hope to be the opposite and far remove from them and them from us, inwardly and outwardly, in Creeds-Methodologies-Character-Dealings-Customscombined, everything possible, before Allah, May Allah Love us and Be Pleased With us, Guide, Cure, Have Compassion, Grant us His Forgiveness, Bounty, Approval, Favour, Generosity, Love, Closeness to Him, for us, the Muslims, also Guide the truth seeking, Goodness in them having non Muslim, Jinn and Humans likewise, May Allah Give Them who Deserve it what they Deserve in this life and the Hereafter and Protect us from them and their evils and resembling them, their ways, inner and outer, plots and schemes, means and everything like that toxic cancel culture, Amin
You are really funny promoting your religion on a psychological channel 🤡
Hi Amin, thank you for sharing your heart felt message with the community.
@@Psych2go You are welcome, you are appreciated, it is an honour, pleasure and always fun, to return back to the factually relatable content, backed up non fictional facts, without bias nor preconceived ideas nor hoping it to be how we feel and think and desire it to be, no, but rather, how it is in the factual reality of each issue or matter, as Muslims, non Muslims, humans, male or female, we matter, our; Our Religious Rights and Our Minds from anything which will corrupt it from corrupt ideologies of extremism - religious innovations in creed and practices, Blasphemy by sorcery, organisations, groups and individuals, divination, slaughtering at altars for gods and goddesses of the Polytheists intoxicants and alcohol or any substance that befogs the mind and self control or Narcissist Gaslighting and Technological, Psycho-spiritual abuse - short to long term and altering the neuronal pathways and its effects on our daily functionality, Our Lives and Blood - our lives are inviolable, murder, killing unjustly, taking the law into our own hands, being held against our will, forced and threatened at weapon point - family, friends, acquaintances and strangers, men, women and children, we are allowed to defend ourselves though by removing any harm up off from ourselves and person and property and those around us, if we are attacked, and Seek the Help and Aid of Allah, Always, no matter what, what we do of mistakes or intrusive thoughts as long we do not intend to do or genuinely did not know, we are pardoned or forgiven for unless we speak or act on them, as for people sins and mistakes are from themselves and satan, Allah and His Messenger are free from that, we don't blame non but the perpetrators of those crimes, oppression, torture, transgression, condemnation, mind games, lying, jealousy, annoyance and harms, Our Wealth and Property - from being transgressed against, deceptively, tricked, manipulated, blackmailed, extorted, rackets, exploitation, hacked, used and abused, pump and dumb schemes, honeytrap, prohibition of gambling, games of luck or chance, Our Honour, Dignity, Reputation - inclusive of our womenfolk - Self Respect and Others without impeding upon others aforementioned Rights, Autonomy, Self Determination, and Our Lineages and Genealogies through marriage and not aborting chidren - which is murder of an innocent soul unless through rape, or if the trustworthy doctors say that they woman giving birith will die along with the baby, if the Muslim Specialist Doctors determine that before the soul is blown into the child in the womb, it MAY be a necessity or if the woman who is a wife, chooses to give birth, not knowingly nor the doctors nor her husband nor gynaecologist knew nor understood that she would give birth with the high likelihood of her and or her child dying during birth, the mother who dies during child birth is a martyr (Allah Willing) in her status and reward, her child will hold its mother by her umbilical cord and take its mother to Paradise as children who die prior to puberty, go to Paradise because they are innocent, born pure, not carrying any sin, die pure and did not sin, wrong nor were they accountable nor did they have ability to know, understand and discern right from wrong based on Scripture nor mentally, physically, biologically, physiologically nor spiritually nor financially had the ability to do such things, according to the Texts of Islam and Sunnah.
I want to thank everybody since I came across Psych2go, I think around 2015 or so, keep doing the good work, benefitting us and each other, improving, all of us, for the fruits, is implementation, as much as we are able, that's beauty, results, haha.
Sadly my mom is the manipulator but I’m learning how to stand up for myself and learn my part of the situation and continue to chose myself
Thank you for sharing your experience. Could you tell us a bit more about how you stood up for yourself? What were some things you did to protect yourself?
@@Psych2go well actually I am an HSP. So everytime I’m in conflict, I kind of break down and have anxiety attacks as I’m so overwhelmed and that’s where my mother gets me the most. So I actually went to go stay with my sister who lives on her own for a day, just to calm down and when I came back I had a note written about how I feel, how she makes me feel, and how I deserve respect and this is my boundary. She still says that I’m an emotion abuser and it’s all my fault and if she wrote a note about me, for all of my years of living it would be a long one. Just stuff like that. This happened actually quite recently so now she is giving me the silent treatment. I’m doing well though! I’m reclaiming my power by realizing that its not my responsibility of how she feels and I will not make her make me feel bad for expressing how she made me feel.
What helps me is to redirect their hurtful energy that is being projected towards you. Think of it as lightning meant to strike you. You combat and challenge everything said to you. Stick to your guns and know you're not crazy. Remember you feel the way you feel for a reason and you have a right to feel the way you feel. You have to not care about what is said to you or done to you. I have to verbally say I don't care what you say. Stick to your points and repeat them if you can, find a way to move forward, keep them on track so it doesn't turn into a debate. What's better for you moving forward would be... that's what helped me. Maybe it can help you
@@armoniibrown7476 thank you so much for your kind words! I’m all new to this so it’s nice to hear from someone else that I am not crazy and it’s not okay to be treated like this
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIEND, MY MOTHER IS THE SAME WAY, PLEASE HAVE A BLESSED DAY. TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪
I've definitely been guilty of guilt-tripping and being passive aggressive when I was dealing with my narcissistic ex "best friend" who tried to ruin my life and then proceeded to bully, invalidate and gaslight me until I thought I was losing my mind. I desperately wanted him to understand that I needed him to show at least a little bit of effort if he didn't want me to leave, but according to him it was all my fault. I wish I had known better, but now I know all the red flags that I've ignored or just not seen back then.
Recognized my manipulative traits a bit through this video. Definitely have a lot to work on. A sign to others that you can change, if you see these bad traits accept them, admit them, and truly try to change
This is a very helpful tool for the victims of this kind of behavior and also for people who want to do better and have a list of what not to dos so they can change their behavior to be less toxic
This channel has helped me so much recently, Especially with a recent break up that I thought was my fault in the first place.
Then I realized the person I was with was extremely Manipulative, always gaslighting, guilt tripping, playing the victim all the time, trying to make me jealous and so much more toxic behavior's.
Now I'm much better off without them and I've found so much self love over the past few days and this channel has shown me so much about what to look out for.
Especially if your partner is making you feel bad about being yourself or getting upset with you doing stuff that you love to do. If you love doing something don't ever let your partner make you feel bad for doing that thing. And if they are then your better off without them.
It's incredible how only now I am realizing how bad my mom was with me for years, since I was a child. I couldn't name it and for a long time I thought it was just my fault. I even started believing I was going crazy... when it was "just" her being manipulating and gaslighting.
Fortunately, I went to a very good psychologist who helped me a lot. Now I finally feel good with myself and I don't blame me for everything, especially when I am simply being happy and living my life. Even my relationship with my mom went better.
I still have self-esteem issue, especially when it comes to trust others, and she still victimize herself a lot, but now she doesn't gaslight me anymore and it's a little bit more open to talk to me and to tell me how she feels.
I wish I had this video when I was little, it may have helped me a lot. But I am very grateful that now this channel is reaching so many people. Mental health is important and we deserve to know how to be safe and happy.
Thank you so much Psy2go, you are amazing! 💜
omg! the little toung and the catus with the face im so obsessed!
i also feel like everyone has a manipulative side
when i was in 5th grade 2 of my friends would get in fights alot so one of them would guilt trip the friend group by saying some thing like i dont matter enough for you to be one my side and it always worked on me at least
I'd like to add an additional one. Sociopaths and genuinely good people can also be manipulative by being a "trustworthy" person and gaining trust. Such as always being there for the person when they need someone or always being willing to help. And the "manipulator" also asks the victim for help as well on things. Eventually the victim natually trusts them. However, even the good intentioned "manipulator" can begin to have ideas that they believe are helpful to the victim that actually aren't. Since the victim trusts them, they willingly go along with the advice. Especially if the victim is already unsure about their opinion on the matter. Truly good people may have actually good advice to give, but this can easily begin to shape the "victim's" ideas and opinions. This is what makes religous cults so effective at attracting followers. Even if you trust someone, it is always good to get multiple perspectives so you can know you are actually making your own decisions. Just don't be paranoid, most people don't have bad intentions, they just have their own ideas and views and want to sway you towards them since they believe that they are right and want to help you. Keep different, trustworthy people from different walks of life and with different world views around to keep an as balanced perspective as possible, so you know it is always you that is making up your mind.
I am in a challenging situation right now, and it involves a potential manipulator at work. A new lead manager is working in the same business I am (won't specify for safety reasons). She seemed pretty decent, but now my opinion of her is... negative.
This new manager finds so many ways to bug me indirectly. She makes me do a ton of extra work and chores (I work multiple positions efficiently), and she says things like "you are taking too long" or "you are making me work too hard" because apparently all of my work is never enough.
She only says "thank you" when I do whatever she says... sometimes. Half of the time she actually gets mad at me *for doing what she told me to do.* She will find any single reason to water down my efforts. Some gaslighting here and there, along with a lot of guilt tripping and such. It's so demoralizing; she makes me feel like I can never do enough. Even when I am supposed to be off of work, she finds extra stuff for me to do... as if I haven't done so much for her and the team already!
And somehow, despite all of this, I have not got fired and instead I am on the brink of getting promoted by my boss. It's really insane. I was so afraid of getting unfairly fired, but now I have some hope. Still, I don't want this new manager to do something ridiculous and squash my chances at better helping my family live. I am currently the one paying for things my parents should be paying for, because my dad left my mom and my mom is disabled. Losing my job would shatter me. I hate seeing my family struggle because of low income...
Thanks for the video... i've been manipulated for a while and I'm working on getting myself out of that situation and make myself better.
Thank you for this, don’t believe I have anyone like this in my life but always helps with self reflection
I'm in a relationship with an addict and these manipulation tactics are second nature to him. I'm so done with it. Took me a long time to see it for what it really is. Thanks for the content!!
Oh my heart!! I LOVE THIS ART STYLE!!!! its soooooo CUTE♡ makes me feel happy just looking at it!! ☺️
About 2 months ago, I broke off a year-long relationship. I hadn't realized how unhappy I was for months until some of my friends called me out. I had a heart to heart with my big from one of my fraternities, and it made me realize everything that was happening. They played the victim card constantly, always picked at my insecurities, gaslit me, and complained about me behind my back. It got to the point where they got jealous of me spending time with some of my best friends, and I always felt sick to my stomach whenever I knew I had to see them or they entered the room. I was worried I did the wrong thing when I broke it off, but once I heard from a mutual friend that they were convinced that my big had forced me to break up with them as part of a plan, I knew I made the right choice.
I can't begin to say how happy I am to have friends who care about me enough to tell me that I wasn't doing okay. I'm happier than I was even before the relationship started, and I've had time to focus on myself to make sure I'm in a good place both mentally and physically.
This video helped my mind, tysm❤
I am constantly stuck with these kinds of people until the weekend.
Soon I will never see them again, so I won’t have to worry in life!
My life has drastically improved by watching these videos and sometimes using these videos to explain things to others.
As someone who grew up with a parent as a manipulator, this is so legit
Its hard when your parent/parents are the manipulaters. Continuously setting boundaries and they feel attacked. Play victim (You always make me feel like i wasnt the best mother. Always.) Control/Dominate (You need to understand i outrank you. Im the mother.) Gaslight (I do all these things for you. You need to start saying thank you more. Whatever just be more grateful. I did tell you this you just dont remember.) Cruel humor (Sometimes you just need to laugh at stuff. Its funny that a stranger left their underwear on your shower.) Listen Ive been manipulated and mentally abused for years and now i have grown to combat and challenge what is thrown at me. I say "I dont care what you say. Youre words dont mean anything to me." "Theres no rank when youre communicating you need to respect my feelings and my emotions. Moving forward this will be better if you do this instead." She felt attacked and tried to switch subjects many times. I wouldnt let her and she walked away many times too. She cant control me and she knows that now. Her tactics dont work on me anymore because i see through them. She said i was defiant and combative I said youre defiant cause you wont listen and understand my point. She said parents cant be defiant. I said yes they can. Anyways i have a note that one of my co workers wrote me years ago and she spoke highly of me and im not used to that so i kept it. I go back and read it and it makes me believe that what my mom says is not true at all. I have to cut her off. Cut off all ties. No communication at all. She wont change.
This was really a nice closure to my thoughts. I had a ‘friend’ who did all these things and it’s only recently I started noticing. Yes, I knew she tented to be over dramatic over something that wasn’t that big of a deal, but I simply thought she had terrible trust issues or something, but these past months, she started judging me and the rest of our friend group of 7. It started out in a more ‘joking’ manner like the video said. She laughed it off when she was judging our friend’s “grandmother style”. Now I realize that’s pretty much the only ‘bad thing’ she could say about her because that friend literally is a golden person with such a n admirable personality. Our whole friend group admires her for being herself without caring about others’ opinion of her choice of clothes. The ‘friend’ did a lot of other things as well though. Once, some of my friends made plans AFTER SCHOOL to go over to my house, but that one ‘friend’ had already left in such a hurry that none of us got a chance to talk to her. We posted videos of each other, and that ‘friend’ saw it and even started crying saying how she’s always the outsider and how we never think about her etc. when there were literally 3 other people from our friends group who weren’t ‘invited’ either and we planned it after she left in such a hurry that she didn’t even bother saying hi to her ‘friends. We point this out to her in a polite way and she goes “I had a stomach ache (this part is fair I guess). I guess you’re just terrible friends.” You see where this is going, but let me point out one more thing: When she’s with our friend group and another ‘group’ joins her, as soon as we start having fun/laughing/being weird/being OURSELVES, she says to the ‘other group “See? This is what I’m dealing with every day *eyeroll*”. She often scolds us for being too childish. She also scolds us for talking too much about food, but we talk about food because it’s a topic everyone can join in on and no one has to feel left out, but it’s not like she leads any conversations herself. She simply cuts off whoever’s talking when she feels like she has something important she needs to share e.g. how her boyfriend is coming over in the weekend. Oh, and she complains about how we always cut her off, but before I got mad at her, I knew she ‘craved attention’ so I deliberately IGNORED my friends talking to me, when she CUT THEM OFF just so that she could feel ‘welcome’. But apparently all the little things (and big) I’ve done for her don’t matter when I do one tiiiiny thing that’s not in her favor. I was gonna write an example of that but I don’t even think anyone’s gonna read this cause ppl couldn’t care less 🥲
But thank you so much for this video❤❤❤, it was really comforting to hear that it’s not my responsibility to change my friend, cause I felt kinda bad since she left the school for ‘after school’ (a Danish thing?) so I won’t be seeing her after summer break.😮💨
I read through all that, despite eyestrain.
Don't waste time on selfish people like your crybaby "friend". Life is too short to indulge narcissists.
Also: Efterskole = Boarding school.
Great story 👏👏👏for writer Stela Kosic and other team's members.👏👏👏
I needed this, thank you
We will always support this channel. They're one of the best.
Yes! Thanks for this video! I remember going through something like these last year during my breakup.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. Are you okay now? Do you feel like you're in a better place since the break up?
@@Psych2go I believe so.
Thank you very much for this video. Been dealing with this for quite some time.
Decided to speak out about it just a little bit a while ago, and it has been a bad time since.
Yesssss we need more vids on how 2 deal w these things, not just the signs plz 😅
Shared. Great video!
It is hard when you are in the same environment as them. Sometimes you can't just leave. I know people that employ all of these regularly. It is frightening how calculating some people can be.
Manipulators can be a pain in the neck to deal with and that’s the sad. I think the best way confront them is either outsmart them or reason with them.
I always enjoy watching your amazing videos, I met some people who love manipulating others by making them think that they are at fault. 👍
I've commented about this situation across loads of videos but this literally echoes what my former "best friend" does both to me and others I know.
Honestly and truly, I have been on both sides of this. Through my late teens and half of my twenties, I was an optiod addict and used a little to much of other drugs. I was willing to do and say anything to get fixed, anything to keep from being pill sick. I've stolen from people, including my own father. I've hurt people that I loved, and the regret from that still eats at me. On the flip side, after getting clean I became to kind for my own good. Ended up in a really toxic relationship with someone who really, really hurt me. Manipulation never leads anywhere good (unless you're Garbo) honesty with others is truly empowering and saves so much heart ache. If you love someone, be blunt and honest with them. It will always save them and yourself so much hurt. ❤
I experience all these constantly. The thing is, they would take these points and say I do some of these, when it's actually me responding to them! Like the "acting like a victim and people plotting against me", etc... well, I'M the one that has been tread upon, and my heart stomped on by all the narcissists all around me and being an empath, INFJ, panic disorder, autistic, etc, I feel like I'm going crazy, and certainly been abandoned by my husband and several "friends ". How do you show a narcissist that they are one without them turning it around to play victim and that I'm the bad guy in all this??
My last relationship was very manipulative. Every tactic except the cruel humor was used. For months, I tried to be patient, but I also saw right through all of it. This particular person was also a pathological liar, constantly making promises that were never followed up on and giving me excuses as to why. Finally, I said enough was enough. I had already broken up with this person once, and this person asked me for a second chance, and I gave it. But, what really got my goat was after I broke up with this person a second and final time, this person had the gall to come crawling back again begging for another chance. That time, I stood my ground and said no.
it’s hardest when ur being manipulated by someone u thought was ur best friend and then when u realize you’re being manipulated/used you start to realize all the red flags u ignored :/
Wow… my father pulls that last one on my mother all the time, and has done so for as long as I can remember (he’s also tried it on me a few times, to no avail).
I honestly hadn’t realised it’s a manipulative tactic for him to maintain control… 😨
Thanks to your channel now i don't self doubt myself and get manipulated
I used to have a friend that was a manipulator that played as a “Nice Guy.” He would just lie to me and my friend’s faces, and couldn’t take a hint that I was upset with him. He used to also pick fights with them, and threatened to take his own life.
I left him due to me being scared around him, as he’s a few years older than me. I’m pretty young. I couldn’t trust him due to me knowing he was lying. I probably would have never seen how bad of a person he was at first until one of my friends told me.
Edit: this wasn’t in person, it was all through messages.
Thank you Psych2Go for being relatable and always helping me. Today I have just recieved the awful message of my irl girl bsf saying that she is not being friends with me anymore since I dont care about her and im being awfully manipulative?! My boy bsf also recieved this for not the same reasons, though I cried and my stomach hurt awfully. Thank you :)
I got to this video too late. I mean, I already suffered this and emotional abuse too
How are you doing now? Have you been getting the help you need to let yourself heal?
@@Psych2go Yes, thanks for your concern
I had a friend who called self harm cringe, who would dragg me from hand and pull my hair when he wanted to go somewhere and I didn't have the energy to, or he simply wanted me to walk faster.
He then, gave me "constructive criticism" (here, he criticized the shi* out of me and called me imature)
I start distancing myself from him when one day I saw the person who s.a me.
I got panicked and he told me not to cry and to not think about it because it's irrelevant, because it happened 2 years ago, and form his perspective I should move on already.
I'm traumatized for life and he told me to "move on"
Im 13 years old and I will admit that im trying to stop my manipulative tactics.
This all started when i lost my mom and didn't get more love and attention from my father and i thought that if i play victim i can get attention of my father and sometimes i don't even know that im doing manipulative things.
Love the art for this one!
Thank you! We'll pass the message along :)
Thank you so much! This was my first time animating for Psych2go! I’m so happy you enjoyed it! 😁
I have realised. My parents exhibit some of these, and now that it is said to me clearly. I understand now. My thanks.
We've all seen medicine cabinets, but how about creating a self-care cabinet?
Instead of a three-dimensional storage unit, it could be a two-dimensional poster or even a series of post-it notes!
Listening to a favorite playlist, video call with a loved one, taking your dog for a walk, cooking a delicious meal...the list is endless.
Share what your self-care cabinet would look like!
Hey could you do a video on social communication disorder? I recently got diagnosed with it and don’t really understand what I read online and you make things understandable
Once my friend wanted me to slide down a pole in our school on the playground, and i am scared of heights so i refused. Then she started guilt tripping and saying "Please!! Or else everyone will be sad and including meee!!" (I was little at the time) So i did it and ended up with an ugly swollen place on the forehead and a cut on the knee. I was sent home after a trip to the nurse. But my friend giggled, and I loved seeing ppl happy. But not this way. She was laughing bc i looked dumb in front of everybody with that bump on my head. And the majority of boys crowded around and laughed, too. My friend does this in different ways these days, but i learned "dont fall for it."
She also pokes my weaknesses, which is cruelness and hurting me mentally. She likes to see me cry, as she laughs when i do. And she's done this to me for the past 6 years now. Its horrible, and she's manipulated my entire friend group to trust her. Part of her plan to frame me to look like a nobody in front of everybody.
And when I try to get away, she guilt trips and vents to my best of friends "oh no, my friend is getting distant over the years while i vALuE tHe fRiEnDsHiP !!"
Ive asked for help. But they say the most BASIC answers or backstab me like "Oh, just become friends with her again! No biggie!" or "Oh im sorry thats happening to u. Here's a hug." **Tells the manipulative friend abt EVERYTHING I SAID*
I have been real victim of Manipulative Behaviors. But came out bravely.
Thankyou so much it really helps me.
Thank you so much! Which part of the video did you relate to the most?
So necessary!!!!
i have some trauma from my previous relationship. when i broke up with my ex in january, because of my depression, he tried to use coercive suicide to make me stay with him and to make me feel bad for leaving him. he also attempted to gaslight into to believing that i cheated on him when i didn't. i haven't really fully healed from that and i am currently doing a lot of self care. i came really close to getting back together with him after all the stress he put me through. at one pont he even threatened leak my pictures (he had told me that he had deleted them ages ago), but i have managed to resist and i am feeling a lot better than i did several months ago. 💗
Such a soothing voice
“Invite other people so they might show their true colours.” Okay that is so true. My friend last year couldn’t allow me to be friends with someone and she showed here true colours and got me upset and thinking why she couldn’t allow me have new friends or let me decide who gets to be my friends but in the end, I came across psych2go and was happy to find out that I did not fell into her trap. Funny the first person I asked for help, she helped me got revenge
I manipulated unconsciously💀even when i know I manipulated a lot but when i was in action there,i forget everything,I’ll have to fix this bad habit of mine i hope i can change right away but i guess i will have to take time,i love people but idk why i did it i hate it
They stay playing games.. gotta be vigilant against them in myself, my heart of hearts
Hey psych2go will u please make a vid how to cope with losing friends and some inspirational quotes to help them regenerate from their loss of friendship?
All 5 symptoms fit perfectly with my mom. She denies what my father did to me (SA) for 10 years. I don't have the money for a new place so that keeps me stuck and entangled in her mess(I don't just "take it"). I've been trying really hard but she's been this way all my life.😔
The urge to somehow send this to them even though we broke up last year and ive had them blocked for months
Okay , this video helped quite a lot to my understanding.
So I have an older sister over 20 yrs old and we live together with our parents. NB: I am a pre-teen almost 13 in a few months.
My sister normally tells me about my immaturity , ungratefulness , attitude and so forth. I do understand what she is saying is true I am very moody , immature and at times ungrateful but I just don't understand why she has to say it such a hurtful way for e.g You are making people hate you!
No one can talk to you anymore without you being moody. I feel like I lost my sister who should probably not say those hurtful words to me because she knows that I am very sensitive to stuff and yesterday I felt tears in my eyes hearing her say those things to me when I was not intentionally being rude or anything. Idk please help does any of this mean anything or am I just being crazy and being a brat or smth?
Man, you all have pegged the problem person in my life. I was always told that my memories were wrong. And that I was fat, stupid, ugly, and would never amount to anything. Thank you, member of my family who did this to me for 16+ years. So that's what gaslighting means.
Thanks
Thank you, it's very hard. My father is like this, and then tries to guilt me, becomes the powerful one, then the savior, then if I don't respond he's the victim and I'm a horrible person. I can't take more distance with him, I'm sad I can't have a cool relationship with him as I used to have when I was younger (we were very close). I try not to feel guilty, and not too sad. I feel like I can't forgive him for telling me twice that he didn't care anymore about me, that he didn't want to be part of my life etc. He was upset and told me that only for revenge, and now I'm the bad person because I don't respond to his "kindness". My mom tells me he's sad and I should talk to him. I can't.. Is there anyone in a situation like mine?
This is so helpful ty:)
Red
@@kat0411huh?
@@kat0411 what?
@@kat0411 noice 👌
@@kat0411again?
Ngl I’ve done all these steps to deal with my manipulative mother. But since she took out validation out of my reasons from being away from her. Nobody takes my side when I say I want nothing to do with her. They just say that I’m difficult and selfish
I have a friend who tries to tell me how i feel or think because she says she knows how i am. But then laughs if what i say is ridiculous. I tell her it hurts my feelings when she does that. I tell her don't tell me how i think or feel. Even i live wirh her kinda because I'm homeless. I am couch surfing. Like some energy drinks wete bought and sat on the floor in the kitchen and INSTANTLY went missing and so she blames me and my partner. She blames us for EVERYTHING going wrong. It makes me feel like she doesn't trust us and so when i bring it up all she has to say is well I trust you more than anyone else, its just cause i am from LA and its hard to trust with the life i had.
Hello, I just wanted to thank you for this video. This really helps me out to get out of a bad friendship.
For three years, I thought this person was a God believer.
But she keep on manipulating me and using me. And I kept on forgiving her.
It has reached the point that I only believe her truth and I want to in my own life. Your video helped me to let her go completely.
This video helped me to open my eyes. And to some point save me. So thank you for this video.
Playing the victim these videos help me a lot keep up the good work
Sometimes it’s very difficult to distinguish manipulators who use such technics from just sad or stupid people
Tho i've seen theese advise so many times,i still love it. I have a...talent to spot manipulators without theese via intuition,and theese are still usefull to define the exact reason why my alarms go off
This describes my marriage that's now turning into a divorce. Through everything, she's acted the victim and refused to take responsibility for any of her actions. I can't believe I had kids with her and now she'll ruin them too.
Could you do a video on why people use manipulative behaviors?
I had a feeling someone was like this in my life and this confirmed it :/ also time to figure it out
This video on "5 signs of manipulated behavior" provides valuable insights into recognizing and understanding manipulative tactics
I've had a manipulator cheat on me and CONVINCE me to take him back. The guy was my best friend. He joked about my mom's ashes, pushed me to try to be intimate with others, and I'm pretty sure it was just so he could try to blur the lines and cheat on me again(which he did). He was always 'misunderstood', and I was always wrong, and 'that's not actually what I meant,I am just really bad at communicating sometimes', but the guy had legit and helpful wisdom. It was the most painful combination to be with because it was beautiful and also awful. It's hard to extract yourself from a situation like that, and if you're ever upfront, you're being 'cruel' and 'seeing the worst' in them. It's a difficult road.
Trying to do research on myself, it's hard to because I don't know what to look for (reason why I'm here), but I'm genuinely a nice person but I just want to hone my personality by working on it and it's frustrating because I know I can do better, it's just this one thing (being manipulative) is rather upsetting and I'm disappointed I won't lie here. I've been manipulated and know how it feels, and it doesn't feel good, and if I can change to help others not feel so negative, I'd feel like I could accomplish anything honestly. Yeah it's saying a lot but it's the truth, I would genuinely feel like that if I could change that 1 thing about myself.
Your voice is soothing🐒
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND SO CALLED FAMILY, THIS TOPIC REMIND ME OF ,MY MOM SHE ALWAYS , DOWN ME, AND ONLY TALK TO ME WHEN SHE WANT SOMETHING FROM SOMEWHERE, WELL I HAVE TO GO BACK TO LAY DOWN SO I CAN GET UP AND GO OUT TO KEEP AWAY FROM THE CERAP IN THE HOUSE. HAVE A BLESSED DAY, TEE 🙏💯🙏💪💙 I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO, AFTER MY MOM TOLD ME SHE WISH SHE NEVER HAD ME. INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS AND SO CALLED FAMILY. TEE
It's sad how much of the time it's "family" who's the guilty party.
I think one of my best friends is a manipulator. I've had problems with her for quite a while now, but everytime I've confronted her about it she turns it around and puts the blame on me. I am obviously mad at her and want to believe she is in the wrong, but sometimes when I think about it it makes me look like I am in the wrong. I don't know if this is her manipulating me or if the problem is actually me. I don't know what to do.
Manipulation is human nature honestly everything influences you into doing what you believe should be the response.
Imo it’s just influence even reacting as it doesn’t influence you means you were influenced into doing so.
I think my thinking is a little screwed but whatever it’s how I see it. Good bad or whatever it’s getting a reaction out of you and you can say that influenced you in some way.
I almost lost myself to my ex who shared all these qualities to the T, it was torture. When i asked gor advice from my sister and my ex found out they told me it was our relationship and that i need to listen to them and no one else.
Everyone is manipulating every day all the time . Hey what movie do you want to see, what should we eat for dinner? Every advertisement… everyone selling things or themselves …Not all are bad. It’s knowing what’s toxic that’s the hard part.
That's a very good point. For you personally, how do you detect manipulation when it's so subtle that you can't tell if it's toxic or not?
It's kinda hard to break a friendship in this situation if your an introvert since I experience it and I would overthink if they will put the blame on me or I'm the problem or know one will be friends with me and I'll be lonely
Same
Can you make a video on how to improve yourself and forgive yourself if you’re the manipulator but want to change? I recently found out that I’m a toxic person and some advice on how to change would be great. Thank you!
That's a very interesting topic. If we were to make a video on this, what would you like us to cover?
And as for yourself, why do you believe that you're a manipulator? I ask because sometimes I believe we're our own worst critics.
You've taken the biggest and hardest step, acknowledgement and admitting, not to mention wanting to change and willing to do so. Proud of you, well done
@@Psych2go For what the video could cover, I think advice on what to do, how to forgive yourself and still love yourself, moving forward, and advice would be great. And the reason I think I’m a manipulator is because I hurt my friend by lying and being passive aggressive among some other things of the like. Thank you for responding, and it would be a great help if this does get turned into a video!