I Don't Understand My Teen & That's OK!
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- čas přidán 30. 05. 2024
- My teen and I had a heart to heart and I had to remember how hard it is to be a teenager. It's not just high school drama and homework anxiety. It's grappling with who you are, what you're meant to do, who you're meant to be with, and everything that comes after being your parent's kid, your sibling's sibling & your Aunt Jessica's Pookie Bear.
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I’m 26, don’t have any kids, yet I’ve been watching your videos for years. I love your videos - You’re so real, and comforting!
27 here, and basically same. Gwenna and Tori are helping me be a better Mom before I even have kids.
Yayyy!!!!
I'm 55 and my kids are 28, 20, & 17.
You'll have such a great relationship with your future kids/niblings/students/random children. ❤❤❤
@@therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar my Mom is 54 💜
Us moment just that i am 18
I’m 15 and her CZcams shorts are comforting. Ofc I still have parents but I like how she does gentle parenting and talks about her kids in a positive way as much as possible. Even if her kids can be annoying at times
I felt that “imma make it weird - for both of us” in my soul
Girl, I wish I had a parent that thought like u. My mother doesn’t have any empathy. She can not and will not put herself in anyone else’s shoes, she won’t even try. I don’t want to be like her. She’s never even tried to find common ground with me. I’m convinced she thinks I’m completely stupid, will never survive without her. That I’m too stupid to succeed at anything and therefore I gave up. I stopped trying, cuz y? If I can’t do anything right, y bother. I don’t want to do this to my child. I love ur videos, they give me hope💖
🫂
I'm sorry she's like that. I feel like it would be even worse if it was my mom and not my dad like that.
I'm 34, and my dad has always been like that. I ended up getting in an accident while staying right outside of DC with him to see if I liked the area.
It was a very, very severe accident, and I wasn't able to work for months. Well that whole time he had said the same kind of things and now I'm going back to my home state to pick up a car (much cheaper there and from a family friend) and at 34 he's saying me get back into working while staying here (I've used up my savings) unless I wait for him to go get the car with him weeks later because I, at 34, am not to be trusted to bring my own new (new to me) car 5 hours up from NC or drive through DC. Lmao.
He also is trying desperately to get me to go with him when he retires in Ecuador because my mom is 72 and not in the very best health and I won't have a "support network" and can't make it on my own as an adult despite have much experience in my profession.
He berates me and puts me down every day telling me how everyone else agrees and how lazy I am and have never worked (I have spent almost no time with him in my life and moved with my mom at 14) yet I worked my whole life starting at 15 lol.
He's even done things to knock me off my feet several times in the last few years so he has someone to control.
Pretty sure that it was at about 5 years old that he started telling me I would "be a loser just like my mom." Which she was not of course. She did SO much... although she's definitely her own kind of narcissist, she at least is far better than him and more supportive.
If i was a mom I’d hope to be as fair and loving as you.
Sheesh. You know how lovely it is to hear a mom say those things? My mother didn't and still doesn't take any of my taste serious. I was never mad she had a different taste. I was mad she told me mine was crap. That's what hurt. She didn't say she didn't like my music, she said only idiots could ever listen to that junk. She'd make fun of me for what I loved to neighbours. I still don't open up to her about anything. I can't tell her this either. She'll tell me I overreact and am too sensitive.
Hearing you talk about your children like this hurts and heals at the same time, if that makes sense. Just knowing it's an option is reassuring.
It might be helpful to look into self parenting techniques. I had a difficult childhood too, and a therapist helped me get in touch with my inner child, and remember painful events that I had internalized ( things my parents said or did or didn't do, ECT.) She helped me learn what I needed and to imagine my adult self with my child self responding to that scenario in place of my parents. It really helped me learn my needs and how to heal the child as well as myself as an adult. There are books and videos about it if therapy isn't an option for you right now.
💗😊💕You’re a great mom! Sometimes my kid comes up to me with things on her phone. Even when I’m not interested she shows me stuff. I grow patience in sitting, listening and trying to see what I may enjoy from it and waiting for it to finish. Some days she comes up a handful of times. Other times she is just in her room and keeps to herself. I’m learning to treasure the times she shows me something she enjoys and I try to cherish our moments together.💕😊💗
I'll be very honest - hearing you take your teenager's concerns seriously, reminds me of all the time my parents told me my concerns didn't matter - and I'm finding that triggering. I recognize that this is a me problem and also that it probably speaks to the weight of other broader concerns in my life. So I'm going to leave this video early with this comment: Gwenna, you have no idea how effing cool it is that your teen actually wants to share her interests with you and VOLUNTARILY spend time with you and the family. Nobody's perfect, but you're doing great!
At 50 with one in college,one a high school senior and one a freshman i will say you're decidedly accurate. Sounds like your daughter will do well in her future. Even if it includes what terrifies so many--out of state college.
As a introvert I approve of this message 😅😂 and I’m 35 a mom but my son is way younger and not even close to his teenage years so I will keep this in mind ty
As a mother of a teenager with the internet available to everyone and the knowledge i have of it i am grateful my child wants to share these things with me. Even when I hate them. You are quite refreshing as a mother. Wanting to watch your child grow into her own person. It is a beautiful big world my child is not afraid of. I wish I shared that sentiment with him. Its not at all easy. I have 2 kids over the age of 21 who are now navigating their own lives. The oldest has a 5 year old daughter and it is surreal to watch the way she is with her own kid. You get to see how your child wishes you had been with them. There is no manual because no manual would be accurate in this ever changing world. There are times when it is challenging and often times where it is a blast and sometimes a mixture of both. It is the best experience in the world. Bless you and your family
As a Mom in my 40s with a few teens. I thank you for remembering to give myself grace ❤
For a second I thought the thumbnail said “how I got my teeth out of her room” and I was so confused
I wish I could give this video a LOVE instead of just a LIKE! You and your daughter hit this nail on it's head. My daughter (24) and my son (21 this April) have flown into their own adult lives. They are successful in their chosen careers and are in mutually kind, loving relationships where each partner treats the other with respect. As a parent, I am so happy knowing that my children are more successful at their young ages than I am at 53 years of age. I am separated and still finding my way in this world. I made many parenting mistakes and, yet, my kiddos still love and let me call them "Baby".
I love everything you post. Even things that make me think and say, "Whoops! I need to apologize for that one". Even though the apologies are years late, my kids still talk it through with me and forgive me (or say they do lol), and we hug, maybe cry, and move on.
Again, thank you for everything ❤️
I am so thankful as a mother that we have this type of community now that we can be Vulnerable and truthful with others and most important ourselves. Thank you for making that easier for everyone.
Agreed!! ❤
This ❤
I am not looking forward to age 16. Not because of the mood swings or the "mom you suck" arguments. I'm not looking forward to the empty nest syndrome and having my son fly. He's only 3.5 now but man even those three years flew by just like that. And this video just hit me right where it hurts most. (i'm not crying, you are). Gwenna..... You remind me of my second mom so hard and I really wish she was still here to guide me because you're right, you never stop being a parent until you're dead. I'm 33 now and I can honestly say I still need my mom.
It makes me so happy that parents like you exist. All my life I had it shoved down my throat how all teenagers (but mainly girls) were selfish, stupid, and overall just complete burdens. All my childhood I was so scared of becoming that characterization that it felt like walking on eggshells all the time. I refused to do normal things for a number of years like listen to music or express any sort of femininity or even stand up for myself in the slightest for fear that someone would see me as being “that age” because “you know how girls get.” To this day I don’t think I’ll ever be in any sort of relationship because of how much i demonized that whole realm of life. All of this didn’t seem to help though, it just seemed to set the expectations of my parents higher. I tried to be a perfect child but that just made the pain of being told how difficult of a teenager I was and how saintly my parents were for bearing that burden even more like a knife to the heart. In recent years I’ve realized that my best course of action was to put up an emotional barrier and focus on the future despite how it will make my parents view me. I think that as my parents had me when they were older and are from a different time, I’m just facing the tail-end of the toxic dynamics parents and children had back then. it hurts me i’ll never have the supportive relationship with my mother and father that I long for, and it boggles me how parents can get into such a non self aware and destructive mindset, that your children grow out of being pets just to spite you.
i had a songwriting class at my school (ive taken it three times and i love it) but one of our main things was listening to all sorts of music and trying to solidify in our brains that there is no "bad music" or "good music" its just noise
one of the main class goals was to sit through a song that you dont particularly jam with and try to find something you enjoy in it
i hated country before that class. but now i see the depth in the melodies and on occasion i seek out country songs because ive learned there are aspects i enjoy within
basically be open minded and try to find even just one little thing in the song you enjoy
if you can communicate "oh i like that guitar lick" to your teen when they show you a song you "dont like" itll make it mean a lot more to them
-signed a teen with a mother who hates rap but still tolerated it when i talked about kendric lamar v. drake
I needed this today. My daughter is 15. I related so closely to all of this. Even down to being introverted. Thank you so much for this!!!
Same. I always recognise I got it wrong as soon as the words come out of my mouth. I’m trying hard not to see it as “all my fault” but just another discovery we’ve made together on how I shouldn’t handle it. Learn and move on. Gwenna is such a brilliant reassurer
My daughter is only 3 but why did I get teary eyed on how I’m so nervous to not hurt her emotions 😢 this is so educational. Thank you ❤
You will do well. She will have her feelings hurt. But you, will do well.
As a mom of 8: 22, 20, 19, 17, 7, 5, 3 & 1...I can confirm this parenting shit doesn't ever stop just changes as they do! And boy you couldn't be more right about absolutely everything. My husband and I much like you and yours (down to the music tastes too! Hahaha) and my kids are very much, can we go somewhere? We think, why?! Everything we want and need here?! Though we too make those outings and have to remind them we just went xyz 4 days ago! 😅 Keep writing it all down for her, the younger 2 and all of us to enjoy in these videos! Keep at it momma! You are awesome! (Telling you here and never to your face if I meet you in person someday! Hahahaha that made me laugh because twinsies!)
I'm probably ten years younger than you and I was raised on Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, and ESPECIALLY the Carpenters but I also love FOB, PATD, and MCR; my mom ended up loving all my emo music too after giving it a shot 😂 It's so funny that you mentioned the best of both the worlds I was raised with. Even though my mom and I have very similar music tastes, there's a lot of things that she and I don't have in common but we at least try to understand each other. I hate exercising but I go on walks with my mom and lift weights with her so we can spend time together. My parents attended our local renaissance festival with my siblings and me (they even dressed up for it!) over the summer because they knew it was something we loved and enjoyed and they knew we wanted to share it with them.
My parents might not always understand what my siblings and I love, but they at least respect us and TRY to understand, and that's what counts. I've been following your content for a while now and I can just tell you're a loving parent who is doing their best. You've already set the groundwork for a mutual level of respect between you two - you and your daughter will only continue to become closer as she grows older, even if you don't always have perfectly matching interests.
Beautifully said, thank you for validating my experiences.
I'm 33(m) and I don't have any kids but my closest friends do and I love listening to your videos I've recommended you to tons of my friends.
I loved this. I was watching your live when oldest went to change your music to show you. I've reacted the same way when my daughter tried to get me to listen to a rap song. And reacted soo badly. My middle is 11 and did not respond kindly which I understand better. I am going to be having a better talk with all my children. Thank you so much. ❤
Ohhhh the number of times I've sat through a rant on VTubers or a video that I will just never get the appeal of! I have 2 teens and have learned how to be interested in the fact that THEY are interested in something even if I don't especially care about whatever it is. They are both so close to adults now, and learning to adult, that it makes me proud but sad that my role in their lives is on the cusp of changing so very much.
Do you have any idea how much I wish I had your videos when my kids were younger? Before I made so many mistakes that my children will forever remember. Things I feel so guilty about and can't forgive myself for. Oh how I wish I could go back in time and have a do over. I hope you realize just how much you help and how lucky parents are to have your videos as a recourse ❤
You can't judge your past self for not having the information you now have ❤️ all you can do now is apologize and acknowledge to your kids you wish you could have known sooner. They don't need you to feel horrible, they need you to be realistic and validate their feelings about how they were brought up. Show them your growth, show them it's possible to grow even as an adult.
Apologize. That doesn't change things, but it helps. It honestly helps.
I'm 52. My kids are 20, 23, and 26. I wasn't quite as insightful as you when kids 1 and 2 were still teens. Well done. ❤🙏
My kid is at college out of state and we send each other links to songs and short videos a few times a month. Looking at what he sends, I often say, "I don't think I'll watch that creator regularly but I admit this was hilarious/beautiful/singable! Thank you." I like knowing what he enjoys. And sometimes he finds out mom's taste isn't awful. 😊
This brought tears to my eyes. This was very honest, articulated and insightful. Thank you for your efforts, it's led to introspection and reflection on my part as the teen-turned-adult.
I remember finding a song about loving your mum and sharing it with her, only for her to turn around and go "This is what you listen to???" The rejection cut a bit deeper because it was my way of showing affection
I have an amazing teenager that just turned 17. I felt like you were my best friend w and we were just talking about our lives and how we feel. Thank you.
What an excellent discussion. Thanks Gwenna.
I love your channel I love you you're so real and raw and raising children is not easy even more so now with technology. You make me feel better about my mistakes as a parent raising three little ones back to back. Keep doing you girl you're amazing.
My grandson is lucky. He lives with his parents and grandparents. He knows that he can play any song and someone in the house will like it.
Beautifully said!
I know these are meant for parents but they do a great job making me see stuff from my parents point a view make me realize I could be a better child
Growing up none of my family never respected my extreme desire to explore. I’m 26 now and that desire has only gotten stronger and I’ve cut off all of my family but my mom but she finally sees and respects my urge to get the hell out of snowy Buffalo ny 🤢
The fact that my mom does this at every single point in my life and I’m 13 ,she doesn’t care,as Anne with an e said “ you can only get as much from someone ,as they have to give”still I’m extremely sad about this fact 😢,have a good day and please don’t do this to your kid🙂
This is actually so helpful… my teen is a lot! Thank you! ☺️
You are momming goals ❤
Lmao you and my 14yr Old have the same taste in music and Abby and I have the same 😂 my daughter LOVES MCR and I can tolerate it in small doses lol... But we just talk crap to each other about music, taste in men/ boys etc... I'm so sorry Abby took what you said that way, I'll definitely pay more attention to my teens (and toddler lol) in these situations
I totally understand what your saying. My sister and I growing disagreed on many things, now me in my 60' and her about to turn 60. We see eye to eye.
I have to thank my parents for filling my life with many wonderful things. Music, film, their likes and dislikes and they were fine with me either liking or not. I miss them both so much.
I have a son, 27 and to my wonderful surprise, he loves music and films from The 50', 60's and more.
To my surprise he connected his phone to my car and played music i loved. I asked him how do you know this music.
He searches CZcams for music and thought I would love it. He was right Johnny Cash ring of fire.
But it had a much deeper meaning and feeling.
It was one of my dads favorite artist. I was in tears, he asked and I told him about it.
Now he finds music from back then and plays it. Plus he took a course in music and film and absolutely loves the older stuff. I am so greatful we can enjoy similar stuff. He also likes today's stuff ,but me not so much and he us fine with that. I explain my reason and he is ok with that. But having him enjoy my past items is a huge greatful blessing I could have ever got.
I love my son and he loves me. We all learn.
Let Abigail share her musical findings w/ you & let the songs play to their finish lol & maybe say oh wow that was pretty cool, thanks for playing it for me, I've never heard it before. Fairly neutral, but still validating & encouraging. Just a thought. -Otherwise she'll likely stop sharing & go insular & self isolate to protect her own feelings, & you won't know what her interests/likes are as she discovers new/different things. She might feel like she has to "be her" all by herself & keep all that to herself to avoid rejection or ridicule. Even if you don't love things, their her things, so just be happy for her, & let her have that joy about it, & appreciate that she wants to share it with you.
I saw another comment like what I'm going to say and wanted to also say that I wish I had a parent like you, too.
Maybe I can get my dad to watch one of your videos lol.
Anyway, my mom was the better one and was pretty good mostly and we were a safe house for kids in my high school years too.. but looking back she was incredibly emotionally manipulative and for sure more of a mild covert narcissist rather than my dad who just completely lacked empathy. She also was very reactive. But at least she always supported and believed in me.
I'm 34, btw.
So my dad was pretty absent even before they split when i was 14.
I ended up getting in an accident while staying with him for a bit right outside of DC to see if I liked the area.
It was a very, very severe accident, and I wasn't able to work for several months (as my spine and neck bones, discs skull etc were involved) months. Well that whole time he had said things like "accident my ass" and "broken neck my ass" and now I'm going back to my home state to pick up a car (much cheaper there and from a family friend) and at 34 he's saying he won't let me stay here for a couple months to me get back into working (I've used up my savings) unless I wait for him to go get the car with him weeks later because I, at 34, am not to be trusted to bring my own new (new to me) car 5 hours up from NC or drive through DC. Lmao.
He also is trying desperately to get me to go with him when he retires in Ecuador because my mom is 72 and not in the very best health and I won't have a "support network" and obviously can't make it on my own as an adult despite having much experience in my profession.
He berates me and puts me down every day telling me how everyone else agrees and how lazy I am, I'm disgusting, don't call him dad because he's not my father (he is my bio father), that he hates me, I disgust him, and yelling at me the whole time if I need a ride to a doctor's appt or something about how he's missing time working from home. Oh and how I have never worked in my life (I have spent almost no time with him in my life and moved with my mom at 14) yet I worked my whole life starting at 15 lol.
He's even done things to knock me off my feet several times in the last few years, so that he has someone to control.
Pretty sure that it was at about 5 years old that he started telling me I would "be a loser just like my mom." Which she was not of course. She did SO much... although she's definitely her own kind of narcissist, she at least is far better than him and more supportive.
But yeah. You're kids are lucky. Even if you didn't know or have as much as your daughter it sounds like you made a turn around pretty early on. Plus you were in survival mode!
Anyway, I love your videos and can't wait to employ what I'm learning when I have my first.
I also just watch them because I like you and they make me feel good ❤
Totally gonna get your book when I'm back to work making money again!!
In my 40s and my daughter is 16- i thank you for this!! I also laughed at some parts cuz it's so true and been there ❤️
This is such a good video. Thanks.
and trying to communicate this to teens who think you must react and feel like other people's family.
sigh.....breathe.....grrrr
im 16 i love youre videos, you're really thoughtful
I love ur channel so much!!!❤
I love your videos! Is there a possibility that we could have something similar to this but more centered around teens around Abbys age? It could definitely help many out and hundreds of teenagers. 😊
I am 50 years old when I was a teenager there was times my mother would find something super stupid to ground me for but the problem was I wasn't grounded in my room because that's where I always stayed I was grounded to the television or at least the living room I could read that it had to be in the living room with everyone else
I’ve been reading your book I ordered it the day it came out
Why am I crying 😭😭😭😭 my daughter is 16 and she’s growing up and she’s so close to becoming an adult and I wish I could turn back the clock and be more present with her when she was younger. I wasn’t an absent parent but more a parent that just wants to have that innocence wide eyed little girl again. That being said I love the person she is growing into and I love that we can have meaningful conversations
My dad was very opening to listening to my music and what he often took from it was a way to expose me to the history of the music I like, he wasn't into greenday but he bought me a ramones album and the sex pistols, the clash and dead kennedys. And then we went back further and I got into robert plant and then you go forward again with blues and on and on it goes.
If you really arent into country music that's fair enough, but maybe your teen can bond with grandma over it? Or you can explore similar genres together? Find artists within country that you like? I'm not a huge country person but you can't tell me The Chicks aren't punk in their own way, and Dolly Parton is so fun.
this is making me happy because you exist but sad because youre not my mom 😭
Im 15 and i love your videos
Wish I just had a mother growing up. I knew I was smarter and more mature than my dad at the age of 6. After that I felt like I was raising him
I'm in this stage with my 16yr old son!
I don't know why, but that last bit had me misty eyed and dripping a couple of tears.
I agree with you and admire you. Part of me thinks “At least she is listening to a more ‘wholesome’ music genre.” So many teens are listening to awful music with lyrics that have no shame. How do you encourage for them to be more selective in what they choose as input? I think the music is affecting depression in teens!
Are these videos you reading out of your book? If so I really want to get it
Not from my book. But it is stuff I wrote on my blog.
I'm trying my daughter to let go of extremes and absolutes. And music is often used as an example. My daughter tells me flat out she doesn't like my favorite music - hard rock and thrash metal. I've long stopped trying to get her to enjoy the occasional metal music. But she loves switching to english ( nortern European- It's her favorite foreign languauge) and criticizing the shit out of loud music. And she also uses never, always and other extremes.
And I love pointing out some of the artists she likes scream at us in crescendos, and some of them flat out yell at us. At 9 years old, ahe is pretty good at holding down her own but likes when she is challenged and has to back dow from the absolutes.
I wish you were my friend and we hung out and we talked about the alien species that are our teenagers - i bet you are such a great friend to have
as an extroverted eldest daughter i wanted to say she could get it from bio dad. i think you’ve said she’s from a previous relationship? if i’m mistaken then ignore this lol- but i know for me, some of the stuff about me that my mom doesn’t understand is stuff i get from the other half of my dna
my mom never admits to stuff like that...
hey i’m 19 and i love fob !! :)
I don't have any kids of my own yet. But, I'm very much looking forward to being "the cool queer uncle". My Sister & her Dude are thinking about having children.
🙃🤘 That was deep Gwenna! Tbh, I'm a QueerPunk, but, I listen to a lot of different styles of music. In late twenties, I started listening 🎧 to other genres of music (besides, Blues, Jazz, & Rock that my Peers & Parents played).
I feel like personally, I haven't stopped changing, growing, learning about myself & the world around me. I'm 32. My Grandma liked to remind me, Great-Grandad said, "The day I stop learning is the day I die." -They're both dead now, but, I haven't forgotten that. Wisdom & Love are passed on to the next generations & do not die. ❤
💜
my husband is a little bit younger than me, just enough where the music we listen to and shaped us in middle school and high school is not the same. And I'm sorry to say it, but I will always consider myself to have better taste in music, I still will say it. When he listens to a song from his formative youth I react almost the exact same way Gwenna does, lol, with an audible, oh gawd no, and leave the room, lol. And I'm sure my husband feels bad about it, or he gets his revenge and plays it louder to spite me, lol. But what actually annoys him is when he discovers a new song to him that is from my formative years, and it's a good song, or even just from a genre that he was never exposed to and hears it on some TV show (like we just finished the 4th season of For All Mankind, and the song to usher in the 2010s is by M83, and I knew exactly what song it was, because I was really really into synth pop in the early 2010s), my husband gets a little upset that I already knew the song and start humming or singing along to it, like he gets actually upset, lol, that I already had this musical foundation (I'm sorry, I studied music most of my life, nearly even got a minor in music at uni, lol, we're exposed to a lot more music, even pop music, than the average person, lol), like he'd hoped we'd be discovering this music together, lol
Hi. How are you. This is my first time commenting on here.
I found abby's red flag she likes country jkjk lmao
My son adores rap music especially Tom Macdonald. I loathe rap. But... i DO love Tom Macdonald ❣🤣 Im a GIRL... I can be irrational, and I can change my mind whenever i want to❣😮
I like Tom MacDonald as well cos he says what everybody's thinking. 😎👍
I'm so glad to see this here. I like that there is a healthy amount of many kinds of people and opinions here. Makes me feel hopeful for humanity.
Where's middle ground on my 23 yr old... not leaving house? Never dated nor asked, no friends after graduation 2018. No job outside babysitting 2023 & 24. I think shes training to be introverted... Fan Fiction is all she does.
Sounds more like depression than being introverted. Having no ambition, never leaving the house, and having no friends is simply never going to be okay. Get her help. The best time was nearly a decade ago, the next best time is now.
Talk to her out of concern. Truly listen to what she says with words and body language. Go into the conversation with an open mind and heart. It is of utmost importance to treat her as an adult.
Hoping for the best for both of you.
Im 21 with that kind of issue. The Best you can do Is listen to her, asking her what Is wrong without judging and if possible, offer her help.
Gwenna do you have a P.O. box or something for fan mail??
What do you do when the things they like are negative influences and full of bad messages and opinions that glorify poor choices, values, and behavior?
I’m not super religious or anything. But they reinforce this weird superficial, materialistic, and judgmental attitudes. It reinforces the idea that drugs, aloofness, and materialism are cool.
We have the same kinds of conversations. But it’s not just not my taste. And if it was something he liked and didn’t adopt the messages, that’d be another thing. But I actively hate it and even hate these “idols” bc they’re reinforcing idea that I believe make my kid a worse person.
I discourage that kind of stuff. Have from day 1, so my kids know if a song, show, movie, or game encourages cruelty, hate, disgusting vanity, lust, unhealthy selfishness, etc, we won't have it in our house.
I usually go about it by stating through playful mockery (of the ideas, NEVER my child) how pathetic and uncool it is to be cruel, materialistic, careless, or shallow; That no way in heck would a former grunge/punk kid like me (or their dad) tolerate crappy, elitist behavior from them, who is clearly better than that.
Though my husband and I have recently become Christian, so we're also now trying to discourage music or entertainment that is, frankly, demonic. By which I mean pushing foolishly destructive, hateful, or violent ideas (as in, celebrating those ideas. If those ideas are there, and it's about how BAD those ideas are, that's fine, actually). Demonic is not a genre, but rather what values are encouraged.
Rock n Roll, rap, pop, even heavy metal can all be fine, even godly... But is the song about hurting yourself or others? Being careless with your body? Or about worshipping yourself or "manifesting" something? Yeah, nope. Not in my house (looking at you, Taylor Swift 😂)
But if it's just about music I find annoying, but the ideas in the song are harmless, I say it's not what I like, but that I think it's really cool they like stuff different than what I prefer. And I mean it. I don't just say that. My youngest is a very different person than me. And I love that, just like I love our other two kids who are way more like me in their temperment.
And that appreciation seems to work. I don't see much disrespect or dishonesty (and our kids are pretty young and home all the time, as we homeschool due to various special needs. Also, my husband is an IT guy and sees exactly what all our devices are accessing. So, no secret online life. And absolutely no social media. They're way too young anyway for that.
If the discontent, lying, etc were there, we'd see it.
But, anyway, that's what seems to work for us. Clear boundaries, with reasons as to why those exist, all seasoned with love and care for them as current children who will be adults (but aren't yet, so will BLT have free reign to do whatever they think might be reasonable. Because they literally aren't capable of knowing what even is reasonable yet)
The Best you can do Is clarify that you can like a certain piece of media without sharing it's values. Or that you can enjoy the beat of a song without following the lyrics philosophy. Media literacy Is a dying ability, we should encourage It.
You for get you boomer to lol
Wait, are you calling Gwenna a boomer?? Because no, she's not lol
Your writing is so poignant.
Also tbh I would probably enjoy this video just as much without the stock footage. Maybe just some headings or “chapter titles” here and there, maybe.
good point
Oh my god is emo old people music now? 😭
Teenagers are peculiar creatures lol. I've got 2 and I still haven't figured them out.
Watching tv isn't quality time.
Depends on what you're watching and with who. I have good memories about gathering in front of the tv with the whole fam once a week as a child to watch a british comedy series.
For my family* (fixed that for you)
Oh please.
No need for the use of swears. Message gets lost.
Damn, I disagree.
If my use of swears loses the whole message for you, the swear words aren’t the problem here. Might wanna look inside there. Sit with why you can’t hear the message cuz I said fuck.
@@pleasantpeasantmedia Because God exists and you are being profane when you were created for virtue and greater things.
@@pama.6410Dude you have bigger problems than someone online swearing. God never said not to swear.
Thank you for teaching about emotional intelligence! I'm in the process of relearning how to practice empathy and sharing examples like this helps so much! 🌹🩵🌹
Hey Gwenn! You are the best human!!
Edit- Now, after watching, you are a VERY wise woman. 🫶 (I already knew that though❤)
💜💜