Overcoming Self-Hatred
Vložit
- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- How do I overcome periods of self-hatred?
Cuts, voice, footage, script by Einzelgänger. I also used licensed material from Storyblocks (links available upon request).
PURCHASE MY BOOK (affiliate links):
Ebook: amzn.to/35e23a5
Paperback: amzn.to/2RJYfti
Merchandise: teespring.com/stores/einzelga...
Merchandise design by Punksthetic Art:
/ jrstoneart
Support on Patreon: / einzelgangster
Music used:
ErikMMusic - Empty Reflections
• Sad Ambient Music - "E...
#selfhatred #selfloathing #depression
*_"I_*_ hate _*_myself."_* Such an odd expression. The *"I"* and *"myself",* 2 separate beings trapped in one psyche, one disgusted with the other, like 2 life long roommates - and one wants to kill the other.
I brushed this comment off as ridiculous at first but when I reread it again, I was impressed
@@roehanostornsyn3367 Thanks. I think anyone here who has battled with self-loathing, depression & suicidal ideation is too familiar with that absurd & pernicious thought loop.
@@bebeezra I agree, there are many people who understand well the balancing act of trying to stop 1 side of the brain from taking over the other side
The sense of myself that is separate is imaginary. “I” in the deepest sense is all inclusive yet beyond it. We are where all stems from and where it all goes back to. Feel me? 😂😂
Tübermensch
At times in my case it's more about existence.
A strange unexplainable blessing (which I am grateful for) with a lot of potential for suffering.
The very fact that you are watching this video proves that some part of you still loves you and wants you back.
I have hope but I don’t think that hope will be worth while
This made me cry.
No, i hate every part of myself, i just wanna see other people's experiences
@@andjelostrbulovic I love u, I love every part of u. Ur amazing and wanted. I’m proud that u pushed this far in life and the perosn I’ve become. Ur amazing and deserve to be happy, ily
@@cayde7293 Please don't spread lies.
I've hated myself since I can remember and I don't know how to make it stop. I constantly have a feeling that something bad is going to happen because of something I did.
When you feel like that pause and think About something thats right in front of you think about the color shape size etc. Its really helful and you will start to relax
I often feel the same, but I’m getting help and am trying to unpack it.
relatable
Go have someone drive you somewhere where you can grab a single snack, and as they drive him sit in silence and look at the sky through your window. This one helps me a lot
No need to worry about the future consequences. If one mistake can change your life then embrace it.
My one mistake made me hate myself so much that I ended up deleting my all social media accounts. I don't know what are the consequences waiting for me in near future but without a doubt that mistake has given my life a second chance, a new phase. So I embrace it & now I have dedicated myself towards something humble.
I dont know if hate myself but i feel embarased about my life and my personality.
Don't be
@@mouhamedbou1283 great words of advice....
I know how you feel but you need to trust yourself and take that "Leap of faith" if not for you for someone else
Same
Same toxic shame or feeling like a loser always worried what other will think of everything i do. I worry a lot.... and my heart is beating fast l don't know why i can't even post anything anymore.
i'm starting to believe that the ultimate goal in life is to overcome the human tendency to want more.
I've just realized that to😌
This is the best thing I’ve heard in a while
I can add to that. About 6 months ago I was living on a very tight budget with minutes means in order to pay off debt. Now that I have money and more choice, I suddenly don’t have enough to make everything I want happen now. I get very dissatisfied and lose perspective, like somehow I haven’t done enough, been good enough or gotten to where I want to be quick enough. Ironically I am less happy than when I was living on a little and had limited choice. I treasured the little I had.
For many people, yes. Hell, I think it holds true for myself. I just don't think it's true for everyone, some people don't have nearly the same 'urge for more' as others.
Desire is cause of suffering. I dissagree. When you want money because youre afraid of being poor then youre escaping yourself and that is bad. So to turn around 180' we go into reasons we fear poverty. Eg we mostly fear poverty out of fear of losing connection to someone. So once we face that fear. Then desire to have money is a choice to explore that perspective in life which is far from self avoidance and self vetrayal. Desire is a source of suffering is only bad if its to avoid a fear within.
Self-hatred is a taught behavior. I love doing nothing with my time, and yet I've been trained to see that as wasting time; therefore, I placed labels on my self as lazy. This is one of the things that made me hate myself. But earlier this year, I understood that me "wasting time" is not exactly wasting. We were put on Earth not have a laundry list of shit to do. We were here for spiritual learning. So how am I wasting time by not doing the material list? I'm not. I love myself :)
WonderFool i enjoyed reading that, thanks
I feel the exact same way. Thank you for putting it into words.
Thank you for saying thing this. Human BEING NOT Human DOING.
I loved this, thanks.
This hit the nail on the head, thanks for this kind of honesty
my self loathing stem from past regrets, my high expectations and my unachievable ambition
I can't remember a period of my life when I didn't absolutely despise myself, I feel like I'm the worst person I know.
I hate that I feel the same
Yeah man ever since I was a kid I hated myself and everything. Just so angry and tired.
You're not alone. As a 10 year old I realized that we were born in this massive world and that each one of us were insignificant small beings. That one could die and nothing will happen, it won't affect anyone. Except family and friends. It's difficult, I know. We feel like we don't deserve anything or it's better if we just fade away from this life so we don't bother anyone. Only advice I know it's to just not hurt yourself. You will hate yourself more if you do that. I feel easier when I know death can happen anytime in my life and just accept that I will be at peace. It's inevitable. So enjoy your time here in this life. Like listening to your favorite songs.
@@alexissegundo4585 Can't say though,i've felt better after ripping off my finger
@@scarsviadeath can't say pain is something to my liking. I mean, we're brought to this world to suffer. So I think that is enough to not harm ourselves. Also, I don't know what you'll do if you run out of fingers
I never understood how "practicing gratitude" and "counting your blessings" can help against self-hatred. If anything, it just makes me feel more guilty by realising how much I have and how little I'm giving.
exactly!
💯
"you are holding onto it , it is not holding on to you, let go"
Ian Great advice.
No
Out of all the comments, this one really stuck a chord - thank you.
Placing so much emphasis on our shackles. And yet, they never never locked with to begin.
That's one way I think of it. On some days, it works, and I'm free. But on other, they don't fall loose, either way.
I hate myself a lot sometimes. I'm really hard on myself, even when I don't necessarily make mistakes. I suffer from anxiety and I consider myself a very unsuccessful person, I suppose that's the main reason for my self-hatred. But my personality and stupid actions annoy me too, but I guess I should try treating myself better. It's about caring for yourself, I just don't care enough.
Koopa Troopa Poopa same
You do not. Never forget that
Edit : you do not deserve to be this angry is what I mean
Koopa Troopa Poopa koro sensei 🙏🏻
Me in a comment. I'm trying to care about myself more despite feeling unsuccessful I just don't know how to "engage with life" as he said.
Yes, I alway been too hard on myself. I do compare myself to others ... I do want to change. It's just I don't know were should I start.
I really do hate myself and it's actually getting worse for me as I get older. When I was a teenager I just had low self esteem and didn't like my self but now as an adult (23 yo) I can honestly say I hate myself, the way I look, the way I speak, the way I think, the way I treat myself and others, the way I compare myself to my friends, basically everything!!! I'm just inable to love myself or appreciate the blessings I have. Everytime I talk to someone I just feel like they dislike me so much, I always say the wrong things, everyday I think about the mistakes I did yearrrs ago and regret them (these mistakes really did affect my life,I lost someone I loved deeply). I'm just very sad, I'm always angry at home always getting into arguments with my family but outside the house I'm very chill around my friends (thats so hypocritical of me I know). I just spend 80% of my day feeling sad, thinking about my past and future. I'm demotivated I feel like I'm wasting my life and not doing anything to improve myself.
I know very well I'm a good person, I really am nice and helpful but I have this ongoing mental struggle that just won't go away no matter how much I try. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, at least not yet lol but I definitely am suffering mentally.
I never thought about suiciding and never will but I really don't wanna continue living like this I'm so tired!!
Yes. I feel this 👌💙
You are not alone and I am 34 years old. I have so much to be grateful for, yet can't find that gratitude bone. I feel like it's impossible to be loved. I don't know how this helps you by telling you, cuz it doesn't. But I can relate hard.
23 is SO YOUNG. You have your whole life ahead of you. Take some of that time you spend beating yourself up and use it to make some plans for yourself, something you really want to do, something you’ll look forward to. Maybe there’s a class you want to take, a language you wanna learn, or somewhere you want to travel, even if it’s just to another part of the state. The rest of your life can be wonderful. Don’t waste your 20s worrying about things that you can’t change and that really aren’t merited because, as you said, you are a good person. I’m sending you lots of love and hugs and I hope you spend time with people you love, people who build you up and make you feel good, and if they don’t then find some who will and if they won’t then you do it because you deserve it.
Same here but with the suicidal part
So relatable. I just turned 23 too and assumed this self hatred would go but it's so much worse now and I know I can't continue like this. But no one knows what the 'fix' is. My family are concerned but don't know how bad it really is. I have no friends, which is probably a result of me just being so constantly depressed. I wish I could be normal and accept my face, my lack of qualities and my dull personality. I have dermatilomania (skin picking disorder) which makes me hate myself even more and spiral into this ferris wheel of shame and regret. I find it hard to face people any more because I just struggle to keep it together when I see how normal they are and how far from ok I am.
Self hatred stems greatly from comparison with others.
You cannot be like others, because you aren’t them.
*The only real competition is your former self.*
A very, very, good philosophy. Thank you O'ssein.
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me while I agree with you about comparing one self to others. Also it can come from child abuse, physical, sexual, and mental abuse. I and many others have survived all of those. Great self hate is spawned by all of these✌️
This can be true for many but that's just it. Even if you don't compare yourself to others you can still look at your own past and see how you have not improved or even kept yourself at the same level; you've worsened yourself. And yes, unhealthy comparison to other people is a cause of self hatred but it ain't the only one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dude you are everywhere! And so am I:)
The goal of everyday is to be better than your yesterself. Duh
For me it’s disappointment in myself and a feeling of hypocrisy too.
I feel like I am struggling with something similar. Each day I hate myself slightly more because I impulsively fuck up all my progress. I don't feel like I am going forward.
^^^
Kyle H fr
Kyle h you ain’t alone brother. Keep striving and take it one step a time, even if it’s a step back to take the next step forward
Read nonduality and the illusion of self
I have tried to stop hating myself, but I can't, because everytime I tell something good to myself I feel like I am lying to myself.
Edit: After a year and half I stopped hating myself and overcame depression. Working out helped me a lot and I want everyone who's struggling to know that things do get better. Even if it's hard and takes a lot of work, everyone is able to heal.
I feel the same. I think I don't deserve to be happy because I find myself a bad person. It is so hard, I really don't know how to get out of this.
@@marly1915 After all this time now I'm better and I stopped hating myself finally, all I can say to you is not to be so harsh on yourself, if you think that you are a bad person then do good actions. What made me get out of depression and stop hating myself was to start exercising, apart from making my body healthier and look better, my mental health got way better and now I have a lot of confidence, I hope it works out for you :)
@@RockyTheDog Thank you so much for sharing this, I will definitely try it!
Same. Feel like I'm lying to myself and denying what is true.
Yeah, I found myself in the same cycle.. I used to be stupidly happy and positive and carefree, but some shit happened & now “allowing myself to receive love and positivity into my life” = the deepest & longest lasting pain I’ve ever felt, I think my spirit broke..
It feels like a I don’t deserve to be happy? It doesn’t seem important.. actually the most horrifying part is that I’m thankful, don’t outright HATE myself, and I can get into happy moods and thoughts regularly…. I don’t wish for death, but I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal or negative.. I don’t see why I SHOULD be happy etc, being stuck in Limbo almost seems worse than Hell because at least in Hell you’re part of something/something’s happening to you.. people can even learn to enjoy pain and suffering or find comfort in it. It feels like I’m frozen in the timeline while life/universe continues on endlessly, good&bad, I’m stuck while life grows smaller as it gets further away. I know how to get healthier and I know that I can, but I just don’t see any difference of why I would do that vs. just no nothing.. I also don’t trust myself to do anything…. It’s like nothing happening at all feels safer than taking a step forward.. wow, I just therapied myself and now realize that I don’t hate myself…. It’s that I don’t trust myself, I blame myself for the shit that went wrong…. so I know it’s up to me to fix it, but there’s just nothing that I want…. And I see that everyone else will be fine even if I’m gone because at this point everyone has moved on even my family.. and I’m not able to WANT something for myself enough…. What do I want.. what do I want…. (Someone or something to connect with.. that is 100% honest and open.. I need that, it’s 100% or nothing because of the trauma that causes me to not trust myself…)
As hard as i try to let things go, I can’t. I just can’t seem to stop beating myself up for things I’ve done. I hate feeling this way. I literally look forward to sleeping everyday so I can stop feeling like this for a while. It doesn’t last long enough.
I struggle with that too. Guilt and the feeling of emptiness is a constant.
@Esther Jones as they say, misery loves company. In all seriousness, I’m sorry you feel like crap too. You wanna talk about it?
Me too. I don't even understand how I could have behaved in ways that I did. I realize the behavior was horrible but yet, it seems to be who I am.
Sleeping used to help but lately there have been more nightmares.
Exactly how it is for me. Exactly.
every one of you have an unbelievably unique perspectives and strengths. I love that you feel comfortable sharing it here. Nothing in life is 100%, it's ok to let go of the past and focus on small strengths. For me it was realizing that a part of me will always feel alone and disappointed by the world/others. Its always possible to do better, all of the research on neuroplasticity indicates it, but it isn't always 'possible' depending on habits, dopamine addiction, etc.
Please, be proud of you, because you're doing the best thing ever: helping others.
Plus, your voice is just perfect
thank you
Thank you toothless :). I'm very happy I can do this.
Very true.
Yes his voice is perfect, he should turn his book into an audio book with his voice narration
Yes the first thing to find change is to realize and not rationalize
I using other people. So its contrate fact to hate mysef
I hate myself and I always have. Ever since I got bullied, I got ignored, immense family problems, abuse, neglect, all that trauma. Ever since 2013, when we moved, I was a loner in school. In middle school up until graduation. I still don't have any friends, I have social anxiety, depression. I won't be able to connect with people, they all think I'm boring. I don't know how to talk to people and I don't know how to adapt to their behaviors so we could have at least something in common.
This self hate will never go away and I'm starting to accept that. I feel like I don't want to get better, because my brain loves me to suffer
i’m convinced that everything bad that happens to me, i deserve. i hate being by myself. i hate being with myself. i hate the way i think and the way i can’t top thinking and it only makes me more frustrated with myself.
Honestly, i overcame my self hatred by accepting that I hate myself. Odd, but it worked for me. Because i also realize that hate is loves sister. And if i hate myself, i can learn to turn it into love
last time i was this early i still loved myself
Too relatable.
Mhm
I love you
Gimme ur number
Mantra "I may not be the best, but I m doing the best I can. I m patient with myself."
"Never be dissapointed in what you lack, always be grateful for what you have"
Never be dissapointed you say? Phew! Thanks man, because I wanted to be dissapointed. Guess if a catchy phrase says not to do something you shouldn't. I got another good catchphrase. "Be healthy and awesome at everything". Wrap your head around that you piece of shit
@@noneofyoureffingbizness5806 I'm curious as to how I've offended you? If you don't like my advice you're entitled to ignore it.
@@sirmango5439 you can't say shit like "don't be dissapointed". It's as idiotic as saying to someone who is depressed "just don't be depressed", as if it's easy to just "snap out of it". Also, would you say that quote to a disabled or crippled person ? Guess not. And if you did it's just because you are totally oblivious as to how these people feel about life in general, therefore being a fucking douchebag. Point is don't just go spewing around quotes, use your own god damn words
@@noneofyoureffingbizness5806 let me start by saying: calm down. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, that doesn't mean we can't be civil about it. The idea behind what I said is to try and focus on the things we each have going for us, even if it's only minor things, as opposed to the terrible things going against us because we then start to compare ourselves to people that lack our burdens and feel more depressed and/or more dissapointed. Everyone faces their own difficulties in life, just because they are different does not make them any less difficult to the individual. By focusing instead on the good things we have whatever their significance or insignificance, it rather makes one realise that life isn't so bad after all. That's not to say it's easy to do that; I've spent most of my life depressed and dissapointed and by extension hating myself (hence commenting on this), I know it's hard, though it tends to be the most difficult things in life that are most worth doing. When you've hit rock bottom and got nothing left to lose then what's the harm in trying anyway? What I'm trying to get at is we get to determine and perceive what life is for us, I think we should therefore aim to perceive our own lives in a positive way where possible, not to disregard our disappointments but to refrain from drowning in them by holding onto the things we're grateful for.
Noneofyour EffingBizness we can see your pain from a mile away. All the best man..
"Counting The Blessings" This made me feel worse because I have no family or friends to feel good about, why I hate myself.
I love when people share from their own experience, thankyou. I too have struggled with self hate and now feel called to help others find self love.
You really struck my heart with this one, thank you.
"When you engage with life... you don't have time to hate yourself." ... nice little nugget of wisdom there. thanks.
In recent years, some of my childhood scars have reared their ugly heads, at least that's how it seems. School was brutal to me, even in high school, as I was picked on and bullied a lot making me a bit of a social outcast - I had few (if any) friends, always had lunch and played by myself, and yes, I was the kid who always got picked last for sports - considering my poor athletic abilities, I felt that I probably deserved it. While I do not know the true motivation for the hatred, I was told that it was all my own doing - I'm not sure what I did, other than "being different". There are things that I struggle with that other people take for granted, like making easily making friends (or even finding a relationship), though I have achieved a few things like getting a pilot's license, but I do not dare brag about myself.
Trying to "accept" myself is difficult - thoughts come up such as ""That may be true, but...", " Anyone can do that", "It's not that great", "It was nothing", and "I don't deserve this". It seems sometimes that part of my mind seeks pity or attention, but another part is concerned with the burden it would put on others
I think two things: one is biological - I mean in the sense that in the wild (so back before civilization) being too different could put the whole group in danger. AFAIK you can see it in animals when they cast out the different one. Not that that makes it acceptable IMO - we're not living in the wild anymore.
The second thing - no, you didn't deserve it!!! IMO it's our sick society that doesn't make effort to include everyone. Also parents teaching their kids to do so. AFAIK, a bully kid is a kid that doesn't feel content/happy/loved and therefore has the urge to hurt others to make themselves feel better. A bully, in most cases, comes from a family that isn't able to provide everything a kid needs. Love, respect, boundaries etc. If a person is stable, loved and well raised, they don't feel the need to bully people around them.
I wasn't bullied as badly as you but did have unsupportive parents (except for financial support) and I don't have advice on how to accept yourself, I struggle with that too... And I can totally relate to the last sentence you wrote.
Sitting here this morning as a 54 year old man.. I can’t stop my self hate, I can’t stop hurting those I love with my anger. I’m thinking hard about ending it.. thanks for trying to help
Call me +420735507018 if you want to live.
I am 43 and can relate. Several times I had suicide ideation, and, no matter how painful, live is worth living.
TheDestinyDragoon I understand hating everyone and everything in this world. And I understand being young and feeling helpless, even though everything looks fine. But I always thought I would get better. I’ve tried, pretty hard actually. I’ve been able to push it back, and keep myself in check at times, but it never last. The stupidest little things will set me off, and off I go. Destroying all trust that I’ve gained from others and myself. Now, I’m alone again and don’t even want to put others or myself through the hell of my sick mind. I hope you will look for some help, I didn’t even start to try until I was in my 40s. But your young, and there is things that help folks. I wish you peace ,
Gerhard Symons I appreciate it, I really do. ✌️
Cool Breeze Hope things have got better for you bro .
take some mushrooms bro sheesh
I had this all throughout elementary school to high school. My parents divorced when I was young. I was fat, didn’t have good grades and I didn’t fit in. My parents weren’t strict about grades or eating healthy. So I didn’t care much about them. I’m not sure when My self hatred and anger subsided but I think doing things I like and finding pride in the things I can do helped. It’s a road I never want to go down again.
But be glad that it happened for if it did not the you today may not have been you
I have the exact same situation except my parents care about my grades and mine are decent, but I know I can do better
Too bad you have an anime profile pic.... sorta totally invalidates your opinion.
@@Coreisus How does a photo invalidate his opinion?
Stay strong you guys. You can do it. I believe in you. Hope you're doing good nowadays
I used to think that thinking about positive things and “looking on the bright side” was lame and unrealistic, and I didn’t even bother to try. Now I know that it’s impossible to be happy without thinking that way.
Thank you for making these videos. They help a lot of people like myself.
Quill & Ink That is so sad and pathetic.
@@nihilismus9840I agree full of BULLSHIT
Thank u for making the music simple and sad but not intense and having an easy toned down voice
"It simply comes down to this: when you engage with life - or in other words: when you flourish - you don't have time to hate yourself"
Man what a beautiful quote, I always love listening to your stories when I have something negative on my mind. It feels therapeutic and I love it! thank you
Sometimes resistance makes you hate your life but not yourself when you realize resistance is all apart of the game
Yea too bad there's nothing to engage with. My life is forfeit. No purpose. Only here to be a scapegoat.
Life is definitely a work in progress, even the mirror projects many images of your past and present towards the future.
Thank you for this. At times I feel so awful and it is nice to know that I’m not alone. 💗 Sending light to all who read this.
I hate myself too I don't know why
I overcame my self hatred by hating my self hatred. Two negatives can make a right.
Nah but then I'd just hate myself for hating myself
Stonks
Just uno reversed that bitch 😂
I used the self hatred to destroy the self hatred
Omg.. Genius😂😂
I was dealing with self-hatred yesterday. I decided to get active by engaging in carpentry work on my home and that helped lift my mood. This video is excellent. I can relate to the self-hatred for sure. I will definitely use some of these pointers. Thanks!
I'm happy for you man, have a nice day :))
I want to learn Carpentry!! How is it??
I don't want to die, but I can't seem to find any reason to live somehow... So I keep living, at least surviving, trying small things, wanting to change, doing small yet inconsistent steps to change... A few days, I feel good, then I'm down again... it goes like this since a few years and I'm sick of this. But your video... your video speaks to me a lot, maybe... Brighter days will come
how are you doing?
I feel the same.
You have done a great service to humanity sharing this video. Thank you.
I have often read about self-love, but they were just words on a page until your video clip. You have highlighted the practical way of self-love in an everyday kinda manner. Know that you make a difference. Thank you.
Glad it was helpful! Thank you for the compliment :)
I am struggling with suicidal thoughts recently, really tired of this
I attempted suicide twice, i'm glad i did not. Brother, if you want to escape this world, meditate and you will find yourself, in a world you deserve and it will shield you from the evil world we live in.
workout , do some weight lifting , start light and progress. it ll save you.
Sigma zix Our spiritual state is above all. No physical or mental state could ever save an individual without the spirit’s guidance and perseverance.
@@dantewar2406 fixing your diet aka eating healthy , getting enough sun every day aka vitamin D and weight lifting is what helped me so thats what I recommend. I believe meditation helps a great deal also , its just that im not into it , yet.
Sigma zix Well, i hope you do get into it and become much better and develop into a stronger person, physically, mentally and spiritually.
You seem to release videos that are shockingly relevant to me personally at the time, this one included. Thank you, your channel is one of the most comforting and melancholic channels I have ever come across.
This has been the most useful commentary on self hate that I’ve heard. I will visit it many times as I navigate through my self hatred. Thanks.
John
Your channel is my go-to resource whenever i feel low or sabotaging myself.If i ever had an elder experienced friend,he would have advised me like you.You are just awesome.Keep up the good work!!!
Thank you! I currently deal with Asperger's, ADHD, depression and lots of self-loathing. I really needed to watch this, thanks again!
I too been dealing with the same thing as you my whole life. I am 68 now and learned to control these things, but it has been very difficult journey being called retarded all through my youth and very few people understand our form of autism. My heart goes out to you for what you are going through, but glad you are viewing this channel for it is a good help to us.
Same. I am due for re-diagnosis at 28
@Jimmy Crickets Couldn't agree more 100% !
Jimmy Crickets ???
Same, its so overwhelming. Im 16 and got diagnosed a month ago with ASD. I also have anxiety so im in a continuous self hating cycle😩 wish you the best💕
This video that you gave to us is one of the most important valuable lessons upon this life's journey. We all have to battle this game of life and we will eventually have reflect our own interest towards ourselves. Thank u
Thank you so much! This is just what I wanted to see right now! Couldn't have started the day in a better way. You are really helping people! It's wonderful to have people Like you in this world! Love and blessings!
Just discovered your channel and love it. I wish I had found you a year ago. I have had 20+ years of self-hatred. My wife calls it my internal "shit talker". And counting your blessings actually prevents your negative ego mind from thinking about all the bad stuff. I still have not concurred by shit talker, but I see how to walk away from it.
This is really interesting, I’ll have to think about all this. Especially the ‘everything has a sliver-lining’ idea. Thanks for making this.
A bit of a story.
This has been the darkest year of my life so far. A lot of vile shit went down, and I accept responsibility for my share of said vileness. I also began hating myself to an extreme degree to the point where I considered killing myself several times. Then recently, I began feeling like I was really turning things around for myself. I went as far as confiding in my mom that I acknowledge the kind of person I am, that I’m also healing and learning.
Today, I’m talking to my brother about some harmless topic and he says “Oh, that reminds me. Mom said you’re holding grudges.”
And when I confronted him about it, especially how he told me, he became hostile and defensive.
I just…it’s weird. It’s like all that self-hatred I harbored is just gone. Like every thing I ran through my mind this year doesn’t matter anymore. I feel alive and kind of liberated but lonely at the same time since my own family just sees me as another reoccurring problem.
Since I’m not in a position where I can cut ties with them, I’m just gonna hold out for another year or two before publicly calling my mom, brother, and dad out before some crowd of people as payback. Now I’m conflicted on whether I was the one responsible for my own sinisterness or if my family are the ones responsible.
This got me more depressed.
This video is right at time. I craved for understanding for so long, now I've got some insights. Muchas gracias, senor.
I think most of your videos are quite personal, and that is a good thing.
As someone who is prone to self-hatred, I find that I tend to underestimate my ability to perform a task despite being more than competent to complete it. Whilst I can use this as motivation to improve my ability, it can become inhibiting and produce less favourable outcomes. In a sense this is like the Aristotelian notion of virtues becoming a vice, and overthinking and perfectionism certainly add to this. Which is why meditation (to quiet the mind) and stoicism (to live in accordance with nature and be a man of virtue) are great tools to help this, although I'm still working on it.
Anyway, enough of me, I thoroughly enjoy your content and congrats on the 200k subscribers.
'The problem with getting what you want, is getting what you once wanted.'
I needed this today. Thanks for leaving this out for the world.
My self hate has come from years of failed relationships, friendships and jobs which has set a deep feeling of forever never being good enough for anyone or any thing. It's spread from my depression to actually wanting to die because I feel like a complete waist of space and resources
Hey buddy, are you at least a little better
Are you better now
I know that Feeling man
Felt
Thank you for the video. I really needed this ❤️
Damn, his videos. This is like the one of the many best ever. Your are doing an amazing work! Keep up to it ❤️
Thank you for all the work you have done with these videos. They have helped me in many ways.
Thank you my friend. I absolutly love your channel and I can't even begin to tell you how much it helps me! I continually feel like a failure and I dispise myself; everyday is a struggle, but your words always help me through. So I send you a big thank you and hope you are well. Please keep up your great work!!
thankyou, when I need an advice and suddenly you post it.
Same!! 🥳😁
"Only judge yourself on who you were yesterday, not how others are today" - I think Jung said
I think that was Jordan Peterson
Yeah, that was Peterson..
What if you're worse than you were yesterday?
But the problem is when you judge yourself too much on your past self, which is something that we can't change. So as long as I judge myself on who I was yesterday, I'll never felt good enough
I often take the things i enjoy for granted, thanks for this vid, we need more people like you in this world
This helped me through a difficult time. Thank you so much. Incredibly well done and powerful.
This, did a lot for me on a day I have been most unlovable to myself. Thank you for this, and May the Force be with you
Einzelganger, you always deliver quality content. That's all.
Best video I've seen in a long time! Thank you so much, so insightful.
Thank you SO much for this. I REALLY needed that kind of advice. You're a star!
Self hatred can come from really deep places in the past, like ghosts coming out to haunt and whisper in your ear. If you really think about when you first heard that voice, you might hear your mother or your father in it. You might not hear a thing, but just have that feeling because a parent looked at you with disgust or hatred too frequently. We internalize our parents perception of us, even if they don't intend that consequence. But, thank you. I appreciate the steps to dealing with it.
Last month I understood that I can be happy independently of outside conditions. It was such a big revelation, that now I see all previous suffering as a blessing in disguise. Suddenly, I turned from a biggest looser into an enlightened master ;) What I perceived as a curse, became the best thing that ever happened to me, because it led to the point I'm being in right now. My life is objectively still a disaster and outside circumstances didn't change, but my inner attitude did.
Only one person in the world can define success in your life.
Guess who it is?
Oh, I know it's me ;) I even think that my "success" is more important than what is generally considered a success.
I always thought that I have to play with the cards in my hand and although they are shitty, I need to make the best of it. Now, I realized that only way to win, is to leave the table and not play at all. Like a beggar who sits on the chest of gold. What exactly I want to win? I'm already a millionaire! Sure, I still try to get better, but the difference is that I do this, because I want to, not because I need to. I feel free, because I not only don't need to compete with others, but also with my past self. I already won, so now I can just relax and do what I want without any pressure to succeed.
You are where you need to be, my friend ;) Only thing that prevents you from seeing it, is the idea that you need to be anywhere other than where you are right now.
Im glad i came across this video today. I felt like i was about to spiral and just hearing your voice explain how you cope was inspiring.
This one hits the heart. Thank you for making this video.
Beautiful work as always
Thank you
The man who knows only darkness will be a slave to sarrow and self hate, The man who knows only light will be the prisoner to loneliness and untrue happiness, that itself is a path to self hate.
The man who knows the darkness and light will have a appreciation for sadness and happiness, he will have a understanding for the highs and the lows. He will be his own best friend when alone but he will not be lonely, he will love himself because he understands himself the only person to truly know who you is yourself.
This popped up first in my recommendation section and it was just what I needed ty
@Einzelgänger this is been so utterly profound and meant so much to me! Thank you, Ich verdanke dir viel.
Been watching all of your content. It's changing my life. Inspiring me to pursue life the right way, my way, in accordance with nature, giving back to others. Anyway, know that your work is appreciated by at least one confused soul
You're a good man. Thanks for making me, and many others, not feel alone.
You hit on some really good points thank you kindly for your time
It truly helped. Thank you!
idk, but loving my own self feels so digusting to me,, I even can't get rid of this feeling about loving and hating myself,,
It's ok. Sometimes, it's ok to just be. You don't have to love or hate yourself. Just let yourself breathe.
Thank you for all of your videos. At the age of 54 I have benefited greatly from your channel!✌🏻💙🙏🏻
Thank you ❤ for making this video. It helped me today! I appreciate you for taking the time and having the courage to make it.
What if you dont have friends or family? I have sadly taken introverted to some sort of extreme.
kinda same, much better than being in contact with a lot of people tell you what. listening to their useless viewpoints and opinions just makes me tired
Go out into nature and let it speak to you. Meditate.
I don't hang out with family and friends. They are empty vessels. Consider a good thing
be grateful that you have the opportunity to start meeting new people and build a social life. it doesn't matter how long it takes, just try taking small steps everyday to become the person you want to be.
roll zolo interesting indeed. Im there🦋
Thank you ein, from the deepest of my heart. The understanding you shared really helps me to start.
I've been consumed in self-hatred even since I was very young thanks to judging parents and environment. And it gets worse when I did something wrong with heavy consequences. Not only hatred from others, but also from my own self. Nobody teach us how to love ourselves, so it's very easy to get lost in it. I'm so desperate to grow and flourish, and live, like you said, I'm fed up with my own mind tormenting me, so I've been looking materials to help me recover and heal myself. Your videos on stoicism been a lot of help, and I'd like to learn more about it, although reading book is still a challenge for me, so your content is so helpful and valuable to me.
Thanks a lot for sharing your knowledge and experience. You've been a help, and I'm sure not just me, but also for a lot of others too. Cheers!
This channel is really one of the very few that I regard as being 100% substance 100% of the time. For this reason, I appreciate it's content completely.
Thank you for making this video. I really needed to hear this wisdom today.
What makes me feel the worst is that when I feel good about myself I make more mistakes and do more stupid actions. I feel grounded and calmer when I hate myself. I don't think I'll ever let myself escape this mindset. It sucks.
Same
Can you please do a video on your top books you’ve read that helped you grow as a person? I’m a fan of reading and I love when my favorite CZcamsrs give insight into their favorite books!
Only video that actually helped. Thank you so much.
Very nice way to put it man, I’m sure it really did helped a lot of people here
Can't stop crying now.
I hate myself for about 15 years now, I worked past it - made my way to art school, had an own appartment, had long friendships since childhood which helped me through my depressions.
I got ill, MS, lost my seat at art school, lost my job, my home and had to cut ties with my friends (reasons). Selfloathing grew, now its unbearable. I often find myself saying outloud "I hate myself!" like a chant. When its really bad I slap my face, or smash my head into walls. I am so tired of myelf, I just want to erase all that is Me.
I slapped myself a few times today as i hated the way i chose to sell stocks that weren't losing much so hastily.
Cant argue.. Thats fucked up.
God is a bastard
@@rscott2247 why didn't you get crypto?
🤧😭 are you doing fine now
@@user-br7ke7ck2iI hope that the person is okay.
CZcams knows how much I've search phrases like "how to die sooner,,""how to disappear" and then this came up in my recommendation.
Same here..i am praying to god to let me die in my sleep everyday 😔..I don't know whether I feel bad that there are so many people like me or feel good that I am not alone in this journey. I hope we will be strong and fight through it.
Thank you for this video. It reminded me a lot of the things I used to do to not be miserable. And self hate has been something way to real for me recently
My new favourite channel, thanks sir.
Thank you for sharing about this sensitive issue. It was interesting and helpful. Each bit of advice was wise. The hard part is remembering those pearls of wisdom when depression and self loathing take hold! I'm sure I will come back to this video to watch again!
My issue is, when I count my blessings, I truly believe I dont deserve such blessings. These resources and these good things in life could have been used on someone with talent, or even discipline. I am talentless, skill-less, and a waste of life. The love people have for me, my mother, father, and other members of my family, I dont deserve it. By no means do I want to die, but I deserve it, so I could at least be usefull enough to serve as nutrients for soil or worms. Only thing I'm good for
You don't need talent to be a good person. which, once you think about it, is a talent in of itself.
@Hyperskreem 82 I am 35 years old and I hate my own existence just as much as my haters and critics do and plus I don't have a love life and probably never will.
Just what I needed to see you today thank you so much you are my hero
Thank you for making this video. I struggle with this frequently.