Therapists React to MAD MAX FURY ROAD with guest Dr. Imani Walker
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- čas přidán 10. 05. 2022
- Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are joined by Dr. Imani Walker to discuss recovering from trauma through the characters of Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) and the brides, as depicted in director George Miller's absolutely brilliant and insane Mad Max Fury Road. They talk about Immortan Joe's narcissism, controlling and abusive behavior, and gaslighting. And they take a look at Furiosa's journey to find healing and redemption, and how helping rescue the brides and learning to trust other people like Mad Max (Tom Hardy) was part of that journey for her. Furiosa and the brides go on a literal journey away from their abuser, and then to face him head on, representing their emotional journey of healing from abuse.
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, and Alan Seawright
Edited by: Sophie Téllez
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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My grandson says, “Feelings are like pooping. The longer you hold it in, the worse it’s gonna be.” Such a philosopher. LOL.
This made my day! Such words of wisdom
A wise man 😂
Your grandson is going to grow up being the next Diogenes
I mean, he's not wrong! 😂
I seriously am going to ask my wife if we can put this in a frame on the wall, lol. It's such a perfect reminder for self care.
Charlize Theron is also a trauma survivor; her mother shot/killed her father trying to protect herself and Charlize, as her father was an abusive alcoholic, all of which Charlize witnessed when she was only 15. It probably granted her a more intimate understanding on Furiosa's psychology & makes her pitching of the scene where Furiosa walks into the desert to grieve the dead Green Place all the more powerful.
I never knew that about Charlize. She is such an incredible woman: talented, intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful, in that order.
way more respect to her for playing such a character even with such a personal connection to such a awful experience. my mother protected me from my father too. this movie has so much more than what i realized
Knowing that story makes her performance in Mighty Joe Young feel even more powerful too.
One thing I liked about t his film is that no one makes a big deal that it's a woman doing big action stuff, no condescending remarks, no running to save the damsel in distress, no big surprise that she's better at things. At no point did I think that Max was treating her any differently to how he'd treat a guy in that situation.
That was refreshing to see.
That's not new, in cinema or in other media. It's just rare that this film has a good writing for characters and do not downplaying males in womans favor, like, for ex., in Cruella.
@@Theeight8b I've not seen Cruella, but there are plenty of films out there that seem to think that the only way to make a woman look good is to make the man look bad.
That's a reason why Fury Road stood out for me, it is actual equality and respect.
@@Valkanna.NubletThat's my point exactly. And i love Mad Max, that it "villain" is not just degenerates and numbnuts. Like, come one, Immortan Joe may be immoral as buck, but...just look at all his tech! Look at his badass army of people, who sick or weak, or dying from tumors. That's just... daa-a-amn.
This 100%.
You can sum it all up in their first encounter.
At no point do either of them pull their punches.
Furiosa absolutely is trying to kill him and he needs to fight back just as hard.
They fight for their lives as equal opponents and it’s fantastic.
And the fact that she wasn’t a love interest? Thank GOD they didn’t do that.
Worst part of so many movies is the shoehorned love interest. 🙄
It was cool that there were a ton of women in the movie who just... did stuff. Furiosa, obviously, but then also the wives all had their moments to shine and their own personalities and the Vuvalini too. Even if they were really minor characters, everyone got a chance to be a fully realised person, regardless of gender, which was pretty great
"In that relationship there were no boundaries"
That's why parents being the abusers are so commonplace. They gave you life, you cannot possibly repay them, so they feel there is no such thing as a ridiculous or terrible request.
Yep. I'm 27 and my parents still don't want to have any kind of boundaries.
@@maryhales4595 I cut off my parents around your age for that exact reason. That was several years ago, and I don't feel the loss. There's a lot of uncertainty and gaslighting that's no longer present in my life since then.
I had to stop myself last week from contacting them because maybe, just maybe they would be willing to show me respect now. Deep down I know they wouldn't, because they don't think they've done anything wrong. In fact, when I called them out on their b.s. a long while back, they doubled down on it, denying my boundaries and trying to make me feel guilty for setting them. They won't change because they think they have the right.
You don't reply them yiu don't have to nor should you
I love my sister with all my heart, but her parenting style strays uncomfortably close to this mentality because she was also raised in a similar way. Whenever her kids complain about anything, big or small, she will almost ALWAYS pull the "I gave birth to you, I fed you, I clothed you, so you owe me your gratitude" card. Hopefully she will get better with that over time
@@internetbites I just went through this and am going through the process of grief of the relationship. It's taking a lot not to go back and stand my ground especially when ive given that up for we glossed over it in the past.
Someone previously has asked for phantom of the opera and I want to relay that message so please, cinema therapy, do phantom of the opera as it would probably make that person's day who had left that request a year ago.
Please do. I went from crushing on the Phantom when I was in the middle of an abusive relationship at 14 to very quickly despising the man and struggling to watch that movie when I escaped and I feel like I'm not the only person who had that experience. Looking back at how I was then, it scares me the things I thought were okay. Like I literally thought the phantom was the perfect man.
@@elix1133 Sorry you went through that.
Yesss! I did a project on drama therapy based on the Phantom of the Opera and the whole nuance between the characters, especially Christine (who could be considered nothing more than a prop in some scenes). Would love to see the guys going through it and dissecting it
Skip who ever that was it would make MY day 😂
My Phantom of the Opera fandom really taught me about how much of a blind spot to grooming I have, due to sexual abuse. When I was 15/16 and really into Phantom, my best friend was being groomed right in front of me and I was being gaslit into enabling it. Rage inducing stuff.
I really appreciate Alan being open and honest about his past addiction. Unfortunately I've come to realize that a lot of "taboo" subjects being taboo only stifle and stop honest, open discussion.
Love you guys, you do good work.
Agreed. Making these subjects taboo makes those who suffer think they are alone. Hearing someone like Alan talk about their struggles shows people that there is a way out, that they can take it and that they won't have to take it alone
I'll fully admit that I've had a few glasses of wine and I'm pretty light weight, so apologies if this isn't exactly on point to what you're trying to say, but I feel like the subject of addiction just makes me want to validate someone who has possibly been through this.
Me and my sister both lost our mother to a drug overdose when we were young. My sister had just turned fourteen, and I was four. I spent so many years of my life just assuming that she hadn't been being careful because she was an "addict" (addicts were people whom I used to look upon with a vague sense of disgust and a lot of distrust, because it was addicts who caused a large portion of my own trauma), and that she had overdosed from simple reckless abandon and just wanting to get high.
It wasn't until very recently, about three months ago, that I learned from a family member what had really happened.
Apparently she had been arrested, had spent just enough time in jail to get clean and sober but also develop a strong craving, like a horrible itch. They let her out just before she could get over that craving, (probably not on purpose, addiction wasn't very well understood then), and she immediately went out and got her drug of choice. Unfortunately, she took the same amount that she had previously worked herself up to, not realizing that where as she had built up a tolerance before, that tolerance was now gone from the drug having left her system with her time in jail...and it sent her into an overdose that was not caught in time. She died.
She hadn't meant to kill herself. It was just an accident from lack of understanding, and lack of support. And, what I have just now come to realize while reflecting and watching this video, and reading your comment, is that she wasn't trying, nor did she WANT, to leave us. She didn't want to leave us, it was just an accident.
@@ellybanelly3656 I'm so sorry that happened
@@ellybanelly3656 I'm really sorry to hear that you and your sister and the rest of your family had to pay the price for the ignorance imposed on society about drug use. Time and again it has been shown that the more we destigmatize, the more we show compassion for those who face addiction, the more we can help those who suffer from it.
But steeping addiction in a fog of shame, stigmatizing drug use for some types while glorying others, and forcing those who face addiction to the black market where there is no quality control and you can barely trust that you'll be getting what you've paid for, all conspire to rot our society from the inside out.
@@AndaraBledin Prohibition is a failed attempt to control an invisible hand with an iron fist at best and violent crime advocacy with a veneer of moralism at worst. The people who aren't going to do drugs simply won't do drugs, but the people that will have no safety net to fall into.
We have spent more money and lives, both military and civilian, trying to control the recreational drug market and deal with the people that are on top of it (Like Pablo Escobar and El Chapo) instead of encourage education about the hows and whys of addiction, particularly how and why it happens, and how you can crawl out of that position if you find yourself there. Generation Z would have been the final nail in the coffin for cigarette companies, had vaping not taken off, and that's due to a successful campaign of education around the reasons, effects, and kicking of a nicotine addiction within the school system. (I even managed to get my mother to quit smoking cigarettes as a direct consequence of said campaign!)
If there were public campaigns and subsidies for rehabilitation programs to help drug addicts kick, as well as safety regulations for legalized recreational drugs so that people who refuse to kick have a more consistently safe supply, rather than a fluctuating quality (Because let's face it, drugs are not going away) we wouldn't need to spend so much time, money, and human lives to minimize the negative effects of drug addiction within society.
This movie legitimately saved my life. In the lowest I had ever been, seeing Furiosa talk about redemption resonated so deep with me, and I truly felt “I live, I die, I live again” as recovery from depression. I got the Vuvalini’s little skull with a plant growing out of it as my redemption tattoo.
Love this, good for you!
Currently two days out from my attempt and the only thing that my mind is holding onto is this movie and the word/theme of redemption. This comment is so…..I feel it. Thank you, truly, for sharing this. If I was allowed to get a tattoo (am 25 but conservative Christian family) I would do that same theme.
…which is just as well because I can’t even find the skull you’re describing so I shall get creative
@@davidhoffer2542 When the plant lady is talking about her seeds, she pulls a little horned skull with a plant growing out of it from the bag :)
I (a man) was in an abusive relationship with a woman. It was both very different and yet still the same as what you see in the far too common 'man abuses woman' relationship. She wouldn't so much threaten me with violence (though she did hit me), but rather threaten self-harm and call the police knowing she would be trusted over me.
She would also try to occupy any time she could from me. Guilt me when I would spend time with my friends and family rather than her. Even going so far as to say that I needed her permission to spend time with my friends. She just thought that any time that I wasn't with her, I could be cheating on her.
The sad part is that even through the physical abuse, the social isolation, and even trying to find my car using Google Maps, there was no big thing that she did that finally snapped me out of it. I just got too sick of it all and told her off, that I was done and didn't want to speak to her anymore. She tried to weasel her way back in making all types of promises, that she changed, that she understood and it'll all be different. But I stuck to my word, and I never talked to her again.
I've been in a much healthier place now mentally, I've been with my fiancé for 7 years and I couldn't be happier. I still have some emotional triggers from when I was abused, but I explain it to her and she understands. It's really nice.
If you're reading this and it sounds familiar, just know that it is not all just in your head. If you think you're being abused, you are being abused. You deserve to be happy, to not have to feel like you're being watched all the time. And even if no one believes that you are being abused because "you're a man" and "men can't be abused", I believe you.
It won't get better if you move in together, it won't get better when you are married, it won't get better after you have kids.
*It won't get better*
You have to break free to get better, you have to find your happiness without them. And you are strong enough to do it.
I have someone in my life that I feel could use this.
@@amandalungren I had a friend at the time who went to college out of town. So when he came back on breaks he'd insist that we hang out. This didn't sit well with my abuser, they were both pretty stubborn people so it would always lead to me being yelled at. But I credit him a lot for waking me out of the pattern of abuse. He showed me that he wasn't asking for much and that was still too much for her.
The abuser wants to isolate their victim, to keep things like that from happening. It may be uncomfortable, but you have to be that friend. You can't rescue them like a knight in shining armor, but you can listen to them. To see if they recognize that they are being abused. I knew it for a while before I finally broke free.
If you need advice, please feel free to ask.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re right that many people assume men cannot be abused, but stories like yours disprove that and even show the different types of abuse (I.e. threatening self-harm, isolating you from friends and family).
I know a guy who was in a relationship since highschool like the one you're describing, and they got married and had a kid together. The longer they were together, the worse it got. Now they're divorced but because of the child the ex-wife still has a means to hurt him. Through his new partner, he is learning to stand up for himself and enjoy his life again but it's a hard process. He never realized he deserved respect or to enjoy life on his own terms.
Iv been though a very similar situation and I appreciate this comment and video so mu h as a man we are always overlooked all the best for the future
Wow, perfect timing! My neighbor assaulted me not even a week ago and everyone’s been gaslighting me saying “it’s a cultural thing! He didn’t know that grabbing your face and trying to force you to kiss him on the lips would scare you.”
It’s seriously triggered me because I’ve got a lot of physical and sexual abuse in my past. My partner has been amazing throughout this hard time for me. My father, the police and my apartment manager not so much.
So sorry for what you're going through! We're glad you have a supportive partner to help you through this situation.
@@CinemaTherapyShow I’m glad you guys are around so I have easy access to a group of people who are seeking emotional strength and mental clarity like me. I appreciate you all.
Im sorry you had to go through that. Sending you strength and support!!
Your other neighbors said what? WOW, what the actual hell. Thats never ok & Glad you're safe now.
I don't care what anyone's 'Cultural' background is. It is NEVER okay to force intimacy on another person. I'm so sorry. I've been there and the sense of violation and lack of safety is really painful and jarring.
I interpreted the Green Place being lost and Max suggesting the return to the citadel as a statement of you can never go back to how it was before, you need to forge a new path and make a new life from how things are now
As a person with a very extensive childhood sexual abuse history, I just wanted to say thank you to both of you Jonathan and Alan for looking at the camera and telling victims that they haven't done anything wrong. To some people that might seem like a small thing, but it's not. Thank you.
I had to comment again as the episode went on. I finally reached the point Dr. Imani was talking about, after years of therapy and depression and anxiety, where I now see my abuser (my father was very narcissistic, and as the scapegoat, I was his emotional punching bag) as a sad, pathetic, weak person who could only feel powerful by bullying a little girl.
The thing that I think finally broke the chain for me was realizing that he and I had both had a narcissistic parent, but while he had chosen to deal with his pain by lashing out at people weaker than he was, I vowed that I would *never* make anyone feel as worthless and unloved as he made me feel.
The true measure of a person comes out under extreme circumstances. How do they behave when things get really tough? How do they behave when they are in a position of power? I was bullied mercilessly all the years I was in elementary school. Then I got my growth spirt. After I mopped up the biggest bully in the town, I stood up for every kid that I ever witnessed being bullied. It was not until much later in life that I learned to break up fights without being violent myself and learned a lot about what makes people into bullies.
Thank-you for having the courage to break the cycle.
I have a shitbag narcissistic abusive father too, good for you that you have grown from your experience, I have reached that point too and it both warms and breaks my heart that it seems all too common with people who were supposed to love us as it makes me not feel so alone. May the rest of your life be blessed.❤️
I can relate to that.
My mom was a sexual abuse victim and she was abused by her brothers as a child. The story came out when I was 7 and she stopped talking to her brothers when I was 12. For 5 years she tiptoed around her brothers, dealt with them in formal settings and forced herself to be civil with them. And as a response, I just repressed the memories/clocked out.
It was only when I was 25, browsing on the internet and really *reading* was I was reading. It triggered me 6 ways into Sundays. And only now I am like. Oh. Ooooo. OoooooOOOOOOo. So that's why I engaged with that. I just had some major shit to work through and I had absolutely no idea what I was dealing with. Now that I do know what I am working with, I can let go of it.
Looking at my uncles, I feel a degree with disgust but also... sadness. They are suppost to be family and if they acted different on their trauma, they could have been loved. And now? They wont know love and surrender. They just terrorize people so they dont have to feel afraid anymore. And that is just an awful way to live.
I know exactly what u mean. My dad had a father who had a probably very strict father, but more significantly had immense PTSD from being put into a Japanese concentration camp as a teenager and separated from his mother. My grandfather was screwed up and in-turn my father and his brothers are all sorts of fucked up, they still barely talk to each other and their mother is also so weird and narcissistic. My dad is extremely narcissistic, was abusive to my mom especially. There were times she came crying to me saying she had done everything wrong and it was her fault. Times he was so violent he was kicking down her door talking about beating her up, and she had to leave house few times, and he always acted like he would be better and never was after all the second chances. Then I had to move in with him, living alone with him, and my life went to a whole new low completely abandoned by the rest of my family at the whims of his random meltdowns and drunken tangents, got very comfortable with suicidal thoughts.
That first period of escaping your abuser, being in a new environment, its survival. Its just day-by-day, trying to work your way back to normalcy. Whether its ever going to come, its hard to know, people who were traumatised as children and had abusive parents they miss so much of childhood and important development and skills that you learn then.
I made that same vow, but I also m had to learn the past year that I’d become a people pleaser and put others before myself, I still do. Because so much of what I believe in has formed as a reverse to the narcissism of my father, to never be so selfish and treat people like trash. But I still had no self-worth and self-confidence, and while I’m building it up, I’ve still gone the past 3 years making no friends, and the frustration of knowing your abuser got away with it, and got everything he wanted despite being horrible, while you do your best to be decent and not be like them but you keep fearing you’ll turn out the same and you stay isolated. Idk, trauma is a bitch, its so all-encompassing and thank god for movies, they help me cope so much and even if I don’t really have much of an active life I can still enjoy that passion.
I loved that each woman represented different responses to the abuser and no one was invalidated for it. The "favorite" bride was such a strong character despite having it "worse" because she is pregnant. And there's a lot of debate to be had about the pregnancy might have affected her response.
And as far male support, I think it's great to have men demonstrate the male abuser is not accepted in the male community.
The male Max, was literally kidnapped, branded, and had his blood sucked out - that's abuse. This whole idea that abusive relationships are most often male perpetrated is also just sexism. Most abusive relationships are mutually abusive, and when one partner is the sole abuser it is not most often the male. This movie is not really about romantic relationships, those women were slaves of a king, it is political. They were raped, but were n'ot in romantic relationships with the bad guy.
I also noticed that it was the pregnant woman who had fallen victim to the villain. So often, women who are trapped in domestic issues have children with their abuser, and therefore, feel that they might as well give up and give in. I wish more would find the courage to leave and find advocacy groups to help them with their recovery and regaining their freedom
This post just made me think of Todoroki's Mom. :'3.
I found it so important in a storytelling context too. Pregnant women (much like children and the elderly) are reduced to objects in stories rather than agents. Something to be guarded or recovered or the prize at the end. Angharad might be the first pregnant woman I’ve EVER seen in film choose to fight her own battles and take her own risks.
I know the actress put a lot of work into understanding the emotional dichotomy of carrying a child of rape, and that combined with the scars on her face from wanting to destroy the thing that made her a valuable commodity, it all makes sense that she would be reckless with her own safety in order to defy Joe and protect the others.
That is certainly tragic and oppressive, but it isn't actually often. The most common scenario for abusive relationships is that both parties abuse each other. The next most common dynamic overall is when the woman abuses the man. The 3rd most common overall is the man is the abuser. For rates, the highest rate is same sex female relationships.
@@emilianosintarias7337 I don't know about your contry, but in mine statistics shown by more than one place (it's not just one company/television projecting their views) show that the man being the abuser is far more common. Only extremists deny that. But then again, in your country it might not be the same
I cried a couple of times watching this. The line that everything about sexual abuse hurts...that is so true. My abuse was decades ago, I've built a wonderful life with my husband and I've dealt with my abuse in therapy and can keep it put away where it doesn't touch me. But when I see a video that deal with sexual abuse, I let myself feel, for a few moments, and the pain of it never goes away.
I am with you, Lisa. I cannot watch some movies or scenes when someone or something reminds me about my abuser.
It just hurts. And never goes away.
I'm 23M currently learning how to let go of my ex and the emotional and psychological abuse she put me through for years. I hope to be better one day, but I'm currently struggling to teach myself how to self love. And I'm relearning self-care. Taken up dieting and mild exercise again, but it's hard to maintain a regimen and stick to your. I'm still trying to find out who I am and what I am passionate about, and how I can turn those passions / hobbies / interests into a career.
@@willnicholson18 -. Thank you. I have found a safe place in my life indeed. I have a nice husband and job I really enjoy.
I used to be like that. It was so bad that ANY scene with sex, implied assault, or even his name would send me into either uncontrollable tears or anger. But, as weird as it sounds, there was one show that even though that happened (alot) I kept watching and now not only is it my favorite show now, but hearing the name or even saying it myself doesn't bother me, I still feel a hit in my heart but for the characters, not myself, and I don't cry nearly as often, and when I do it's just a bit. That show is Law and Order SVU. Also, I suggest yoga, meditation (not medication unless needed) and writing. Those helped me the most!
@@celianunn2070 It is not wierd. I completely understand how you feel. I got through similar problems. I also recommend yoga meditation or even martial arts, like karate or kung fu. It helps to concentrate and clear your mind of negative thoughts.
My idea of "what's normal" shifted so slowly, over years. I went from a very independent, strong person to someone who is too anxious to say more than a sentence or two in a conversation. It's so important to go slowly at the beginning of relationship and trust your instincts when you see the red flags.
Hope you’re okay.
@@HLPiepgrass I got out a year ago (after 9 years)! So I'm getting more okay with each passing day. Therapy helps, patience helps, and finding validating content like this also helps!
Sometimes it's not about the attachment. Sometimes it's about a perceived or real lack of choice for material support. The victim sees the only way to keep a roof over their head and food on the table is to stay.
I’m so proud of Alan for speaking about his recovery!
The most cherished relationship I had ever had was one where a man was my friend and didn’t use the friend zone to get with me. He respected me and respected my boundaries. And he became the example I needed. To show me that not every man wants to use me or hurt me. It was something that ended up meaning the absolute most to me.
the whole bit about "bringing up specific abusive behaviors and the response you get is 'oh that's just joe, that's just how he is'" is literally something that was said to me when i brought up s/a done to me by a girl in my class, all they said was "oh she's just touchy feely, you'll get used to it" when A) i don't like hugs to begin with, and B) she *felt me up* and down like, i highly doubt someone who's "just touchy feely" normally does that
I am a person who loves giving hugs, but would absolutely never want to give one to someone who does not want one. Someone who demands bodily contact is not "a touchy feely person" they're a creep. Run
@@maplepainttube8158 exactly
Yeah that was wrong, she should respect your personal space
Fury Road is my favorite movie of all time, and this is from someone who generally doesn't much care for movies. Furiosa is every woman's fantasy of destroying the misogynistic structures and people that hurt us, without any of the contrived or hamfisted bullshit normally tacked onto "strong female characters". She doesn't get shoehorned into the role of a damsel in distress for the male lead to rescue, she doesn't become a love interest, and she's not a "lamp" character (a character that contributes so little to the plot that replacing them with a lamp would barely affect the story). Those are so few and far between it's the exact reason I fell out of love with movies and TV.
I would add that she also isn't a Mary Sue, her skills are defined and not unrealistic. And she does not need to put other characters down to be what she is. You also see that there are issues she had to face and that still haunt her, making her a flawed character (and I mean that in a very positive way, because it shows she is human, she is relateable)
Sadly, I think we see the stereotype done badly alot of the time, where the strong female character is perfect which makes them boring as hell, uninteresting, unlogically strong and puts others down (or the movie does it for them) so they seem stronger. To me, those never hit the mark.
Furiosa was a pretty good character. To be honest, most characters in this movie are written competently. Even the minor characters do their job, and would make sense in this world and with their background.
I have no objection to "woke" messaging. What I do have a problem with is "woke" messaging being substituted for a good story, character development or a plot. I also have a problem when an iconic character is mocked simply for being the "wrong" gender or colour. That's sexist and/or racist in any direction. This movie does not commit any of those offenses against good movie making while delivering very positive messages.
@@osmosisjones4912 I love this movie, but I was laughing when the women were wasting all that water. 😂
@@osmosisjones4912 Wow, you really missed the point of that scene completely. The water was plentiful. There was a LOT of it, but Joe was doing it out in tiny amounts in order to keep everyone dependent on him. That water falling on the people, on the earth, was watering the ground, starting a process whereby they could heal the planet, one small section of it anyway, and restart the cycle of growth. It was a symbol of new beginnings and generosity, as well as a powerful message of renewal. A baptism, if you will, of the entire community into a new period of prosperity for all, not just for Joe. There was more than enough water for everyone, only Joe had dammed it up as something only he could give out.
This is so accurate.
My favorite scene in this movie is when the women finally break free of their "chastity belts" and are standing all together as a unit. (Side note, lord knows how they were able to have proper hygiene with those on.) So symbolic, so much of society in history has been about controlling women, our bodies, and our sexuality. Only their "partner" was allowed access to their anatomy, and not even themselves. Women are more than merely vessels for childbearing and male pleasure and should be given the basic respect and autonomy as such. In medicine especially! Some doctors will not allow for a tubal ligation or other permanent birth control without a "child number minimum" or even sometimes a "partner permission slip". There is even talk of taking away access to contraceptives to unmarried women. implying we don't have the rights of our bodies even Outside of the scope of abortions! This movie has such deeper implications than it may seem at first glance and I was deeply moved to find this out when I was only anticipating a pg-13 Wacky Races. I cried when Splendid died. And even as she died the villain was only mournful of the child within her and not for herself. Wonderful, though provoking piece!
I remember when I was little we went to a family reunion. Half of my family is very evangelical Christian and were always going on about the Bible. Somehow the conversation got turned to "women's proper place" and my great aunt just wasn't having it. Eventually somebody said to her "you're just a rib of adam!" And I'll never forget what she said.
"If God took Adams rib to make me then he left me the perfect place to keep my knife!"
That lives in me to this day. I'm no chunk of bone brought to life to please a man. I think, I breathe, I live. If they force me back in the kitchen, well, they better keep a dog to taste their food.
@@strayiggytv your great aunt sounds like a fucking icon I love her
@@strayiggytv hehehe, turn HIM in to a sheathe!
@strayiggyTV You should research the forgotten story of Lilith, Adams FIRST WIFE. I'm sure she'll get a kick out of it
@@strayiggytv My favourite answer to this argument is still "When God created the man, she was just practicing."
I was not sexually abused by anyone, but I was mentally abused by a parental figure. She isolated me from talking to the rest of my family by telling me that I couldn't tell them about anything that was going on. She claimed that my Dad and I needed her because there was no order in our household. She convinced my Dad it was okay to hit me after not doing a chore as fast as she wanted me to. She criticized me for almost everything and I believed her to the point that I believed it was my fault for trying to have an impact on any situation. She gaslit my Dad and by saying that she cared about us. She only cared about us as her little perfect robots. I never even noticed she was abusive until after she left, after encouraging Mr to starve myself, have no opinion of my own, and almost kill myself.
I'm sorry for your pain.
Emotional abuse is the worst, because you don't have physical scars, or can point to one thing that was obviously 'abuse' it's in how they twist your brain to see things in way that are harmful to you. My mother made me think my abuse was all my own fault because I was such a 'bad' kid that she was 'forced' to beat me. It took years and lots of therapy to get to a point where I realized she was the one at fault.
It honestly wasn't until I had my own kid and there was a moment where I was really angry, but instead of yelling or hitting, I walked away and took deep breaths, that I finally realized that it was a choice. Abuse is a choice someone makes. That's when I could finally let go of the self-blame. Your parent made a choice to not take that deep breath and to instead be horrible to you. At no time were you responsible for her choice. That's all on her.
You'll be fine. You'll get better and the pain will recede. You will also be someone who watches other people, looking for signs of that type of abusive personality. You'll be able to recognize other abused children and give them sympathy, support, and caring. You can take everything done to you and use it to make the world just that little bit better. You can win out against her by never becoming like her and always being kind.
@@eshbena You're right, I did not force her to do anything and I shouldn't have been faulted for basic living. I have the opportunity to recognize people who use me for their own emotional, mental, or even physical gain in the future and isolate me in order for their perspective to be the only one that influences me. I can remain out of those types of relationships now. I can teach others that nobody should be held accountable for other people's emotions or owe anyone a better performance as their child. Thanks.
I relate to you so much. If I could get through a similar situation and still be alive & so much better over a decade later you can too. You are so strong. Please stay far away from these people. Get help. I believe in you. You deserve love.
All of your trauma and PTSD episodes feel like they've come out perfectly to co inside with the steps ive been taking in my therapy journey. They're an amazing supplement, and the work you're doing is so very appreciated
Same for me.
Agreed!!
It's been a while since I watched this movie but there were somethings that stayed with me.
The "perfect" women are literally placed in a vault like property. They are described as not "beautiful" or "pretty," but "shiny" and "chrome," but this is also how Immortant Joe refers to how the Warboys should be to enter Valhalla. To me, these adjectives were the biggest hints to how the wives and the warboys were all being abused by Immortant Joe in a similar manner regardless of the glorification.
@@osmosisjones4912 You said that before. Are you just trolling?
@@osmosisjones4912 It doesn't show them as bad with resources. If anything, it shows them surviving and thriving with few resources without going to the point of forcing others to be abused for their own gain. If I only have 1 cup of rice that I worked for and you have 4 lbs that you beat others into giving you, that doesn't make you better with resources. No one except immortten has any resources in this movie world. It is not possible to be bad with something that you have little or no access to. I bet you also think that poor people are just bad with resources. Also do not know why I am answering this, you troll on this platform often.
@@osmosisjones4912 Looky looky! I found the troll! But instead of gold.. we get a pile of nonsense! You drunk boo?
@@osmosisjones4912 Visual metaphors can't hurt you. Hiding behind hyper-literalism may mean you never have to fear saying a 'wrong' thing in public, but it will never make you happy and deny you the chance to ever truly engage with art.
@@osmosisjones4912 Hmmm...the green place tribes women seem good with resource though if they survived that long even after the green place was dried out.
26:55 this is something I see very often at the hospital I work at. My main stay is on heart surgery post-op recovery, where we often put patients that had the same/similar surgeries together in a room. If one of them is even a day further along, they usually manage to teach the other one how to cope and deal with life after surgery. We are there to help, of course, but when you just wanna finally get up and go to the toilette alone, it is good to have seen someone who has gone through the same do that exact thing. It gives em hope.
"pick up what you can and run" from Dr Imani at the end hits different. Like it sounds like fleeing a war zone on paper, but. Somehow from Dr Imani it sounded not disparing but hopeful.
I would love to see a video of villain therapy for Kilmonger from Black panther. Definitely bring a black guest to discuss the topics.
That's the plan! Hoping to make it happen later this year.
Yes! Kilmonger was the first Marvel antagonist I felt sympathy for, which never happened for me before when it came to Marvel. He's so fleshed out as a character that he's easily in the grey area.
@@KristinaEspinoza
Erik: I don't need a suit to kill you. Your reign is over! You sat up there, safe and protected.
T'Challa: You want to see us become just like the people you hate so much. Divide and conquer the land as they did!
Erik: Nah, I learn from my enemies. Beat 'em at they own game.
T'Challa: You have _become_ them! You will destroy the world, Wakanda included!
Erik: The world took everything away from me! Everything I ever loved! But I'mma make sure we're even. I'mma track down anyone who would even _think_ about being loyal to you! And I'm gonna put they ass in the dirt right next to Zuri!
T'Challa: *YELL OF PAIN AND RAGE*
they could also cover that Michael B Jordan had to seek therapy after that role.
Great Idea 😄
19:40 "my addiction is my abuser" 100% this Alan. But might I also add that with certain addictions, it can feel like you are your own abuser? I've never been sexually assaulted, but I've dealt with my own addiction for the past decade. It sucks when you run back to the thing that you KNOW is hurting you, but you do it anyway for that rush of satisfaction.
I think that's actually what he meant when he said that. Like his addiction abuses him. At least that was how I interpreted it
Can you do something about child discipline? The difference between "tough love", the "right way" to discipline and the blurred lines between them. Can you also do a video about parental abuse versus bad habits that might look like it, or again the blurred lines between abuse and old schooled tough love. And about the complacency that comes with it. There's been a big debate about that and I'd like yalls input.
They did with Terminator 2.
I would love this, especially the idea of Authority vs Friend. I once heard a man bragging how he wasn't his daughter's friend, he was her parent (authority only). And I told him, "Yes, my parents did that. That's why I don't speak to them.". I hope he changed his attitude. Luckily, my relationship with my parents has changed and we're very close, but not everyone is so lucky.
if you're interested in this, I'd recommend this video by Mickey Atkins. She talks about a way of categorising parenting styles and especially the nuances between an authoritarian vs authoritative parenting which is where "tough love" can fall
czcams.com/video/7IFg1RJZcKw/video.html
@@Nomyriad thank you I'll check it out.
@@bishop51807 I've already watched it. I meant it more like the difference between abuse and the blurred lines of tough love especially when it gets physical. Unfortunately terminator isn't based in real life and Sarah Connor is more emotionally distant to John. But I think that video is a good stepping stone. I guess I meant for a more in-depth video about physical "discipline" and abuse, especially when they can be blurred at times. I've also watched the Hulk video about anger management and it's also on the same level.
I will say for me personally I've watched all of thier videos. And they are connected to my personal life so they all fall in line some way or another. I hope this cleared what I meant I'm not that good at explaining things, sorry.😁
Edit: found a better way to explain. So I meant it as the difference between parents that love thier kids but use abusive tactics, which they tough love. I ask this because there is aa debate between old verses new parenting. Some beleive that the older generation is complacent in reinforcing abusive tendencies while disciplining thier children while the latter think the younger generation is "soft" because they don't agree. I ask this because I e been diciplin3d that was and thought it was ok but over the last couple of years am I going to the newer ways of diplining their kids. I ask this because there are similarities with abuse and tough love but there are parents that do this because they were taught that and think it's right while others think it's wrong. I don't know if I want them to say which side is right or wrong I'd just like Johanthan to explain the physiology about the two.
I wish 8 year old me could've watched this... then maybe I wouldn't have kept silent for 20 years...if you are able understand (i pray you arent),but if you are...please talk to someone/tell someone you trust. You deserve to feel safe,happy and to have your bodily autonomy respected. You are worthy of healing and respect and even if it was years ago ,your pain deserves to be acknowledged. You are a survivor,you can do this. I believe in you! Don't make my mistake...so much needless suffering...
I'm so sorry you went through that 🥺 The social pressure to blame oneself for not seeking help sooner is strong.... (That old question of "Why didnt you just say something??") I think people forget how little context children have for making judgements of adult behaviour & resisting gaslighting at such a young age? And also how much wider social attitudes to abuse & trauma change over time. (The mistreatment of children & teens under the care of the Catholic church is a prime example - it's taken a long time for that to fully surface and even now there are some who dismiss or don't believe those who'll speak up 😔).
*Soft sob* This episode is perfect. The conversation was validating, thoughtful and felt like the right combination of film, specialist and subject. Just... thank you
Glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
@@CinemaTherapyShow Thank you for all your amazing work, Internet Dads and team.
@@Firegen1 Internet Dads keep slayin
I'm a rape victim. I'm still recovering from my trauma, my trust issues, etc. This video was extremely needed today, because today is an especially hard day for me. Thank you for this.
Keep at it love, maybe one day you will be able to say you're a survivor. Have hope 😍
Sending you healing and self-discovery. ❤
I’m glad I watched this. I was a little nervous to. I’m gonna start trauma counseling in a few weeks after years of just repressing and trying to forget what happened. And yeah…like John said it doesn’t work, it’s not fun having random flashbacks and crying/hyperventilating because someone said something that reminded you of the trauma. So I’m glad I had this pseudo pep talk before starting because I was very anxious about counseling. I always feel better after watching these two
GOOD FOR YOU!! I was so so scared to start therapy for my issues and put if off way longer than I should have as well. It really helped me, more than I expected it to, I hope it does wonderful things for you too
I hope that goes well for you.
Good luck! I hope it will help ease the pain you’re feeling. Much love! ❤️
“People who want power will always try to control those who truly possess it”
-from my favorite TV show ‘the OA’ an absolute masterpiece unlike any show you’ve ever seen. I know Alan would freaking love it. & it’s all about trauma & covers so many topics Jonathan could dive into from a psychological perspective. I could see y’all doing an amazing series on the show. Please consider it ❤️
I absolutely adored the first season of The OA, and was very sad that they cancelled/didn’t bring it back for a 3rd season. I don’t think they are likely to do it here, since it’s not “cinema”, but who knows? It would be very rich, for sure!
1- I cannot express enough how much I needed to see this. My world feels small most days, and reassurance helps. Thank you 😭🙏❤️
2-I remember the director said he wanted his wife to edit this movie as he didn't want it to look like another action flick. Plus, they had the writer of the Vagina Monologues as a consultant/writer onboard. Also I think they modeled the storm after a major haboob here in AZ lol. There's soo much they put into this. They deserved every award received for it.
When Alan said "this is a perfect movie". YES.
Layers upon layers of work here to squeeze story telling, world building and character development into every single frame. It's phenomenal.
I get something new everytime, and this perspective is no different.
Thank you all for this.
Something I've found helpful to get away from saying "that's just Joe" and instead thinking "Joe, that's messed up" is to outline the situation to a friend I trust and get that external voice to confirm that 'Joe' only ever talking about my interests to mock them is one of the many ways 'Joe' does not treat me well
I realize the subject is being addressed through the concept of Immortan joe, an obvious monster. But as you talk about people seeing the issue and the survivor doesn't, there is also that narcissist who abuses in private. Everyone sees this wonderful person, while the survivor is terrorized behind closed doors, with no witnesses and no proof. The survivor is considered crazy, and no one believes. So escape becomes so much harder because no one will help.
This was my situation, the abuser was my mother and in public she was perfect. I called her "Street Angel, House Devil."
@@Rye_Toast I'm so sorry you went through that. My mother was similar. Everyone always talked about how wonderful she was, which was true if you weren't her kid.
I know the conversation was specific to sexual abuse but I felt it was applicable to other forms of abuse as well. I worked for a monstrously narcissistic micro-manager last year who targeted me for a ton of verbal and emotional abuse, doing everything from cutting me off from other people on the team to convincing me I really was just completely incompetent and unable to do any good work. Like Dr. Walker said, she felt able to prey on me because I wasn't in the best place. I felt unsure of myself as I was trying to learn something new and she used that against me.
When I finally managed to find a new job and moved to an environment that was honestly the antithesis of where I was I dealt with plenty of what was discussed, how it felt like even away from that environment everything still felt unsafe and I wasn't sure who I could trust. There are still times over half a year later when I realize I'm still having abuse reactions to things, very much "everything hurts". But also like Dr. Walker and Jonathan both said, the further away I get, the more I look back at her and think about how small and pitiful she is that abusing and destroying other people is what it takes for her to feel strong. Finding people who respect boundaries and prove themselves trustworthy, and doing my best to be self-aware of what drives my behaviors, has definitely been an important part of my journey back to a sense of peace.
3:48 - As soon as Jono mentioned the punishment-reward cycle, I immediately thought of the scene in "Holes" where 'Mr. Sir' said the same thing to The Warden.
"When you face the actual threat (whether it be the person or the situation), your perspective, because you've done the work, has shifted and changed so much. But by the time you actually face the actual threat, you realize, in a lot of ways, that the person wasn't really as strong as you thought they were. It's just that you were not in the best place and that's why they preyed upon you." ~Dr. Imani Walker. Love that.
As a survivor of sexual abuse and assault, this is for sure the most powerful cinema therapy video I’ve seen. I’ve loved this movie since I first saw it but haven’t been able to put a finger on why it resonated with me so much until now. You both articulated and validated feelings and experiences I’ve had that I haven’t been able to talk about with my therapist bc it is so painful. Thanks a MILLION for your beautiful channel. You really are impacting people’s lives ❤️❤️❤️
When this film came out, I went in expecting some really ridiculous diesel punk action stuff, similar to the older movies. I was so pleasantly surprised by all the themes this movie explored and that it was done exceptionally beautifully. My only gripe was the final shot with the water being released (South African in Cape Town, this came out 2 years before "day zero" and we were already feeling the water pinch). But that aside, I love this movie. It tells stories without being explicit in the uglier details. We know everyone's trauma and backstory from their character design and their role in the overall plot, the audience isn't spoon-fed.
And I find it interesting how many of the men I was around at the time did NOT like this movie. With current world events, a film like this is a valuable sounding board for seeing what people think of certain issues.
Wait really guys didn’t like this film? Idk i think i was quite young then, but it definitely had one of the most resounding responses I remember, everyone thought Charlize was badass. One of the few times where such a female hero did not get backlash. I mean Captain Marvel, Ghostbusters, yikes the response from those films from guys. Then again i think the difference between those films and Mad Max is significant, and shows how important effective writing is and that ham-fisted writing just falls flat. I mean Alien, Prey, X, the MCU/DC movies (especially Wonder Woman), these are some random examples, but I feel like they really show how with good writing even the dumbest guys can get behind the leading actress. I mean its great how even to this day Sigourney Weaver is so beloved. Its a shame that Atomic Blonde didn’t become a bigger hit too.
All in all, the issue of leading female action heroes doesn’t seem to have disappeared. So many dudes still get real pissed off the second they see a woman, I mean ppl immediately trash the Indy 5 movie for having Phoebe Waller-Bridge and claim they’re gonna turn her into a Ma-Rey-Sue and all this paranoid stuff.
Sometimes healing comes from helping others further back on a similar journey. That has at least been my experience with dealing with my miscarriages and stillbirth.
Sorry you have gone through this. I'm proud of you for having the strength and compassion to support others going through similar ordeals, and speak to your own which normalizes these facts of life. My cousin's aunt went through much the similar trauma. Support is so important.
Thank you both Jonathan and Alan for starting this channel and doing what you do. Many times I was led to a specific video of yours that I felt I needed to watch. I can’t describe it as anything but divine guidance. This channel and your videos have helped me with realizations, validation, and healing. “Gratitude” best describes my feelings for you and your work, but I still feel like that word isn’t enough. Every healing tear I’ve cried while watching your videos is filled with gratitude. From the bottom to the top of my heart and soul, thank you. 🙏
This is why we do it. Thank you so much for this. We love you.
Great episode! The subtle narcissism growing and being excused as confidence was, unfortunately, very relatable. Life moves on though, and they don’t get to define my experience.
I would love to see you guys do an episode on treasure planet. I think there’s a strong episode there on themes of fatherhood and step-fatherhood and intentional abandonment. There’s also a lot in the film about 2d and 3d animation blending when it was first developed. Anyways, love the channel guys, thanks for it!
Treasure Planet is such an underrated Disney film.
Not to mention that it was Musker and Clements dream project since the 80’s but weren’t allowed to make till the new millennium.
I have never agreed with someone more than the statements around sexual abuse and addiction first brought up by Alan. As a person who has dealt with a large amount of addiction issues I constantly fight with my abuser (the addict inside me) to not go back to that place. Know whether your abuse comes from your disease or an outside force know you are loved and it can get better.
One of the hardest things I ever did was tell my abuser how much better my life was without them in it. I was cloud nine for so long after that and it's still one of my proudest moments.
This episode was so great. It gave me a realization though: My roommate and I were talking about cults just the other day, and it seems like a lot of what y'all discussed about abusers is also true of cult leaders.
Have y'all considered doing a video about a cult story?
It would be interesting to hear you compare & contrast the patterns between individual abuse like this and the "mass abuse" or "abuse culture" of a cult
I haven’t watched it yet, but I wanted to watch Martha Marcy May Marlene starring Elizabeth Olsen.
It’s about a woman who returns to her family after surviving an abusive cult.
I think Midsummar would be a great choice.
@@gentlemanlygeeky4088 midsummar would be fantastic because theres room there to talk about how cults go for people who are vulnerable and desperately need love, and how victims can often end up going from abuser to abuser
“Everything hurts out here” is a play on the line “I hate Outside, everything hurts!” from Logan’s Run. She just was convinced to escape the machine-regulated perfection out to the natural world, and it’s the first thing she has to say about her freedom.
Actually, Immortan Joe is played by the same actor who played Toecutter in the original Mad Max.
I watched this movie recently and it is outstanding. The messaging is so powerful and the cinematography framing the film is spectacular and enhances every moment.
When they realise that the swampy area was the once plush green motherland and it will never return - that is symbolic of our world and our times.
I'm not a victim of abuse, but over the past few years I've learned more and more about how my parents were. They both came from very abusive homes. Not sexual or physical abuse (that I know of), but emotional abuse and neglect for sure.
Watching this and a lot of other cinema therapy videos has really helped me understand a lot about them and what they've been through, why the do the things that they do.
They've always told me they wanted to do everything they could to give me and brother a better life and I always try to assure them that they succeeded. They've always been incredibly supportive of me and anything I want to do with my life.
I suppose the reason I'm posting this comment really is to thank you guys at cinema therapy for helping me understand them better and for helping people who have gone through similar experiences, and to let people who have been through abuse know that you can break the cycle and make the future a safer and more compassionate place for those around you.
Man these last few weeks have been so tough. The Depp/heard trial resurfacing a lot of my past traumas of DV and SA and while I know I’m on a good place with a loving partner I can’t help but let myself feel the pain all over again. Thank you internet dads (and your viewers!) for showing me I’m not truly alone..
"The attachment is still there." That hit me HARD. Luckily my abuser wasn't sexual, but he really got into my head and even now, almost two years after cutting him from my life, part of me still misses him and wants to go back. I hate him passionately and that won't change, but... Escaping from abusers is hard, and surviving the aftermath is harder. But it's worth it. It's so worth it.
I was not expecting this episode to hit like it did. Before, I would never have considered myself a sexual abuse survivor. Now, I'm not so sure.
The redemption from the things that were done/convinced that it feels good was something that never crossed my mind. I thought because I eventually said yes and then willingly repeated the act, I thought I was complicit. It has always been an inkling of shame in the back of my brain since childhood.
Thank you for this video and for this prompt to talk to my therapist.
My male therapist was a gem because working with him showed me that there are safe men and what healthy interpersonal relationships look like.
Same. Same.
The topic I don't think was ever brought up by you is accidental abuse. When two broken people just get it out at each other, or a parent doesn't recognize their child needs.
I think this is way tougher because they mean good, or never realize that something is wrong.
You often adress abusers, as those malicious people who are just evil for the sake of it, and not focus on these more "casual" cases of it.
I'm just parroting some abuse101 phrasing but, you can start by saying someone was abusive or did something negligent without labeling them as an abuser. Their healing is not your responsibility, and if you don't cut them off or you find yourself communicating again, like CT says, how they respond to boundaries & changed behavior is the only way they( & you )can honor you.
It's hard to talk about the more casual cases of abuse. And part of that is because intentional abusers claim they didn't mean it as well. But unintentional abusers - the way you tell they were unintentional is this - are they actively doing things to try to fix it? Is it possible to negotiate boundaries and get them to stop through arguments? Do the deeds they did haunt them if they get particularly bad? Things like that characterize the unintentional abusers. Intentional abusers never work on anything - not sincerely. When intentional abusers do "work on" their issues, it's to regain control over you, and then they expect compliments for working on the issue or else use working on an issue as an excuse for further abuse.
Unintentional (casual) abusers, of the sort who do abusive things not for the sake of controlling people but primarily because they believe it's what authority figures do - those tend to be folks who look after children, for one. Husbands do not do this sort of casual abuse to their wives, and vice versa. After all, if a fiancé engages in such behavior, even accidentally, the partner can issue an ultimatum and then dump the partner if they do it again. And if the abuse is accidental, that ultimatum will work, and it will work fast, because the partner who did the thing now realizes it's a deal-breaker.
And if you are married to someone who you suspect is doing this, you might want to seek out therapy and help with assertiveness skills, because any assertiveness you might have had may have been trained out of you. If the abuse is accidental, assertiveness will work to stop it, either suddenly or gradually depending on how ingrained some of the habits are - but either way, you will see a reduction in an accidental abuser's habits if you call them out and tell them in no uncertain terms to stop doing it. If this reduction happens, and new avenues of abuse and/or demands for a metaphorical cookie don't open up (or when they do open up those aren't stopped by you requesting that your partner stop doing those demands even playfully), then that abuse was unintentional.
And I do say this - since messing with people is a thing, if it is your partner, you might want to declare a temporary moratorium on them messing with you, so it's easier to figure out the truth of what they are doing. Sometimes moratoriums on messing with people are needed, even though messing with people can be fun. Because it's not fun for someone who isn't sure whether what's going on is a joke or the person means it. And that's a good reason to be careful about messing with children too, since children haven't learned the boundaries yet - and even teens aren't always sure where the boundaries are. And yes, I would say don't mess with little kids even if watching them cry is funny, because it's not funny to the kid. And it can help form traumatic patterns later.
I think they have in previous episodes, Jonathan has mentioned a few times where people become aware of how harmful their behaviour has been. But in episodes like this where its focusing on victims healing, I dont feel like it'd be helpful to focus on as that seriously blurs the lines. End of the day regardless of whether they are aware of their abusive behaviours or not, the other person is still a victim of abuse, and no one deserves to treated like that. It is not a victims job to identify whether you need help or are just abusive, and its definitely not their job to try help you or 'heal' you while they are being abused. A victim is a victim regardless of whether their abuser was aware of their abuse or not
As an abuse survivor - my former husband fell deep into addiction. I also made the connection Alan did - also when shame and depression makes you want to destroy yourself and burn your entire world to the ground.
LOVE this video! I'd be curious in you doing a dive into Nux and the War Boys as well if you ever felt like it. The women in this movie are extremely empowering to me as a woman, but Nux is also deeply relatable, as somebody who escaped a high-control religion. Like, I grew up with that sort of indoctrination of needing to grow up to be a warrior in the culture war, believing that your own life is without value (i.e. dying for the cause being the ultimate privilege), and being taught to value the lives of those outside of that as even less than your own. Nux starting to break free of that when he was able to see the humanity of the other was pretty impactful.
This movie means so much to me in terms of my own experience with abuse personally, and in helping people escape it. Sometimes I say "Max, my name is Max" to myself to remind me what I am
Alan, your moment of openness of addiction was supremely impactful to me. It's not pretty, its tough and I am proud of you for trying to overcome it every day
when you mentioned that being an abuse victim is like being an addict, it made me think of how some abuse victims develop an addiction. This might just be my opinion, but I feel that addiction is something that is used in an attempt to escape reality because your life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.
People who have been abused often don’t know it.
And people who don’t know it can’t imagine how that can be true.
Until one day they know, and the entire world changes in an instant.
Triggering? Yes. Worth it for me? Absolutely. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this episode. I’m fairly certain I’m a sexual abuse survivor (fortunately I can’t remember most of it as it happened when I was small) but the “stepping into your own power” part really got me. I haven’t spoken to my mother in a few years. Every year when the mass production of “Mother’s Day” bombards my email I’m constantly battling the anger and pain she caused due to her failure to protect me and the constant minimization of my struggles. Finally cutting ties with her was a near impossible feat but it’s one of the most critical acts of self love I’ve gifted myself and till this day I don’t regret it, it just hurts not having a mom to turn to when I need one most. I’m on the spectrum and live with chronic depression, and the world oftentimes feels lonely and hostile towards those like me who try to be good people and who still fumble due to old traumas and wounds that are slow to heal. I cannot express how grateful I am for your content, it’s very cathartic and rewarding and I wish I knew men like you two growing up. It would’ve made a world of difference 🖤 Dr. Imani was a real delight as well, I love her candor and straightforward empathy.
Aw you guys are taking guests?!
You should make a video with Dr. Kirk Honda! (His youtube channel is psychology in Seattle), he is amazing and so so wholesome, it really makes my day better whenever I listen to him!!! Would love to see a collab with him and you guys!
Agreed!
On the point of Furiosa, Max and Nux possessing gritty survivalism and learning compassion, I found it especially interesting that Angharad, Toast, Capable, The Dag and Cheedo are in an opposite position - Possessing compassion but not the gritty survivalism. This is particularly poignant with Nux; Furiosa would have killed him without a second thought, but Angharad stops her; She recognises Nux as being another victim of Immortan Joe, so persuades Furiosa to spare him. Later we also see Capable showing him compassion, after which Nux joins the rest of the group and earns his own redemption, playing a vital role in their confrontation with Immortan Joe. Despite the amazing efforts and unquestionable skill displayed by Max and Furiosa throughout, it might never have succeded if not for Nux, who only got the chance to help because he was treated with the compassion that Max and Furiosa generally lack.
It's a nice sub-plot that I think is trying to say that compassion can be just as useful a survival skill as shooting and mechanics, in it's own way. Especially useful as an allegory for modern life - Where I think compassion has saved more lives than shooting or mechanics ever will. At least until the apocolypse.
I never knew what mad max was about...it's just looked like a really weird , AU dystopian action film with people with weird names. Seeing this video about what it's actually about inspired me to maybe actually watch the film. So thank you!
This is really resonating with me as a survivor of child neglect and molestation. This whole conversation is exactly the train of thought that really helped me heal.
I still hurt but I'm not broken, so this video was really cathartic
That moment where your can see Alan putting things together in his head making sense of his relationship with his addictions is so inspiring to me. I hope that this video helps him. It's truly a beautiful moment to me.
Wow. This is exactly exactfreakinglutely what I needed today. I'm an underpaid struggling young teacher trying to juggle this job while going through ptsd treatment for childhood SA and physical abuse and this week my outstanding balance on this expensive ptsd treatment caused the place to cancel my appt yesterday and since I don't get paid till Friday I can't pay it off and so I'm missing a week in my super rigorous treatment. This episode was the bandaid I needed to get through the week till next week's session. Thank you :)
This movie is so much deeper than people give it credit for. I'm gonna sow this video to people who tell me it's "Only an action movie from point A to point B"
As a survivor of years of spousal abuse, the best things I did for myself was get into therapy ASAP and find people I could trust that I was safe with. I now consider those people family and have an incredible emotional closeness with. And yes, this is a perfect movie.
Immortan Joe is such a cool character. RIP Hugh Keays-Byrne, he was amazing, just like he said to his "followers" in bts
I love that she called Joe as Bane, because Max (Tom Hardy) was the one playing Bane. So there's a bit connection there
It's kinda sad that people who's in abusive relationship usually the one that couldn't find great video like this, I hope they do! There are lots of good advices
Actually, when I saw this movie, I very much recognized him despite the mask as Grunchlk from Farscape. (It's in his eyes and his voice.) He plays a disgusting character there too. I also recognized Melissa Jaffer as Utu-Noranti Pralatong. I enjoy seeing these kinds of ties between movies/tv shows.
And yes, Immortan Joe is an immensely memorable character.
Ha ha! I'm currently trying to escape Narcissistic abuse. Hardest part is taking back your power.. take them to court if you can, that's my advice. I also survived a relationship with a Psychopath, I never spoke up and ended up losing everything for my silence, while you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, it's best to speak your truth.
Thank you Cinema Therapy for covering this topic.
I appreciate this episode on so many levels that I can't even begin to put into words. Thank you.
It really hit me when you reached that part where, Max and Furiosa and others, instead of running forever, decided to turn back and "go straight through it". That is such great definition of therapy, healing, trauma/inner child work. I believe facing things without any downplay or denial is ultimately the only way to deep healing.
A lot of this applies to emotional abuse as well
Conversations of abuse so often seem to be "a man abused a woman/child" and I really feel that other types of abuse are brushed under the carpet. I (female) openly confess here to pressuring a guy into sexual relations he did not want because neither of us were good at communicating (combined with my Asperger's meaning his trying to be polite went over my head) and I'd always been taught that men always want sex. I learnt better after that event and I had definitely meant no harm but, in that moment, I was a rapist. I'm not proud of that. I'm asexual so I wasn't even doing it for myself but because I thought he secretly wanted it but was holding himself back out of consideration for me. That is screwed up. He said no, I canoodled and pressured and did whatever I thought he would like, without LISTENING to what he was saying he would like, which was just to chill and play video games. Guys have every right to set up boundaries, just like women do, and their emotional and physical needs are just as valid. Abuse against males, whether intentional or not, is a very real thing with very real consequences. The thing is, you don't have to be malicious to be hurtful. Erring on the side of listening and respecting what you hear (without entertaining thoughts like "playing hard to get" or "they're just saying that, they don't really mean it") is really important and will result in the least people getting hurt. I was an idiot who did a very bad thing. For all the excuses in the world, that is the end result, very bad. Please, share awareness of males being abused, own up to any such mistakes that you've made in the past, be open about men's boundaries being just as valid as women's, don't take anyone for granted, and just try to be a good person. I will forever regret my actions and never repeat them, but more than that, I want others to learn from them and not repeat them either. Yes, men abusing women is awful too, I don't dispute that. I just don't want abused men to keep being muted in this very important discussion.
@cinema Therapy it’d be amazing if you did a video on the movie I Kill Giants. It’s about a girl coping with grief over her mother with fantasy and slowly accepting reality with the help of her fam, a social worker and her friend. I’ve loved it for years and your perspectives would be great!!!
This and Road Warrior are my faves of the Mad Max universe. Charlize was a BEAST through this movie.
Thank you for being so open about your selves and for bringing in Dr. Imani. I don’t think I’ve seen her work before but I hadn’t been looking. Realizing years down the road what was actually happening has been hard for me because I felt like I COULD have stopped it and didn’t. I couldn’t have stopped it. And realizing that I am not responsible for someone else’s behavior is freeing. I can only be responsible for mine, and I’ve tried to make amends for the pain I caused. Thank you to Jonathan and Alan for being able to open up and remind all of us that we are not alone.
Cenima Therapy: please do Phantom of the Opera. Since there is a handful of movies that you can select, from the original to the 2004 movie version, to get each relatable aspect of the main characters.
I suddenly realised that Harley Quinn is severely missing from this channel. Her whole journey.
this is seriously THE MOST PERFECT video i've seen in all my youtube years, i'm not even exaggerating. thank all three of you for this experience
This episode was very important for me. A lot of what was said about realizing the truth about your abuser really resonated with me. I've been taking steps to "take my life back" since the pandemic started and it's really changed how a view myself and him. Cinema Therapy has been really helpful to me on this journey and I appreciate everything you do and everything you stand for. Much love to my "internet dads".
I can relate to everything you guys discuss in this episode. Thank you for making this video. I never understood how living in freedom could be so hard until I was the one struggling with it. I’ve said this before, but thank you for being safe men (ie on the screen 😉) who talk about sexual abuse as wrong. That helps me more than you know.
I would love to see you guys review "A Monster Calls" it's not super well known, and I wish it had more recognition. Liam Neeson plays a tree monster!
We're actually prepping to shoot an episode about A Monster Calls at our next shoot :)
@@CinemaTherapyShow You have absolutely made my day. Again.
@@CinemaTherapyShow yes!!!!!
The wonder of this movie is that is has these layers about feminism and abuse and victimization and redemption. But you don't have to see that if you don't want to. You can just enjoy it as an amazing action movie. But if you see those layers, that only make it *even better*. Seriously --- this is one of the best movies of the last decade.
Thank you for the trigger warnings. When I know what's coming I can mentally prepare myself so I'm able to watch and learn from the message without feeling scared or unsafe. Please keep doing that!
I am a lifelong action and genre fan, and a lifelong Mad Max fan. I am also, unfortunately, a woman who has encountered sexual violence. Fury Road is my Favorite Movie of All Time.
Love the content you put out there. It has helped me so much with my own behaviour and relationships as well
Glad to hear it!
Every episode is a pearl of great beauty!
My mom is currently in a manipulative abusive relationship. And this resonates a lot with what my family have been going through. He basically manipulated her to run away to him and prayed on her fears of dying alone. And desire of being taken care of.
I know you guys mostly just analyze movies, but I think you'd really like Arcane and it would make a fantastic breakdown video.
Arcane is a recent netflix series based on some of the characters from League of Legends, though it requires no prior knowledge. There's 9 episodes at around 40 minutes each.
+1 for Arcane!!! Would love to see them explore how that show depicts family dynamics (sisterhood, brotherhood, parent/child, etc.)
I tried to get Alan to watch it. He made it an episode in and was uninterested🥲
Excuse me 👀 can you please tell him to finish act one? AT LEAST? The show was so wildly popular, it'll be worth it in numbers alone to make content based on the show....so why not give it an ACTUAL chance.
@@dnatsrednUouYoD I’ll try again, but it’ll be unlikely that we review it since we don’t do shows :/
Haha I loved Arcane partly because you don’t need to play LoL to enjoy it.
And if you played League before (I did) it doesn’t take away from enjoying Arcane because the game doesn’t go deep into the character anyway.
Never been this early! Love all your videos Alan and Jonthan. You both truly have helped me.💕
So glad!
I revisted this movie last night. A line that blew my hair off was when Max told Furiosa that hope was pointless unless they fix what was wrong with things.
I see Max and Furiosa as two sides of a coin; they both lost something, but Max can't get it back. He is basically dead. Furiosa believes she can return to what was taken, but we learn she can't go back. We witness her die in the desert when she realized the valley was gone. But each can go towards something new. Neat, right? But this is where Max highlights the struggle of having/chasing power. The world where warlords rule is one she will end up finding unless she deals with the underlying issue of having power and being corrupted by it.
There was a scene where one of the mothers was telling a bride about killing and there was a time and place where no one had to kill; life was free and abundant. But that world is gone. Now, even the women have to act as warlods just to survive. What will be any different once these ladies grasp the reigns of power? Just because they kill Joe and take over the citidel doesn't mean the worlds resources become abundant again. Max warned Furiosa that this issue isn't going to change just because they gain power. There will still be hunger, pain, disease, inequity and it must be dealt with in a new manner, lest they just become the old warlords with new faces.
Taken in the context of the time it was made, I believe it is a warning to our world that we must be aware that we have to respect each other (men AND women) must work together to wrest power from the mongers, and work together so that we do not become the new oppressors. It very much is in kine with the idea that the abused can become the abuser if they arent aware of themselves.
That message has only gotten more important with the way that men are forming communities in absolute fear, paranoia, and hatred of women, especially alpha male, masculinity-based influencers, and its strange when they themselves are asking people to be more empathetic about their struggles and how men they are yet refuse to be empathetic towards women and understand what they’re complaining about. Idk the fact that gen z has gotten more conservative than the previous generation and hates feminism more than older generations is miserable. And the thing is any man thats been victim to domestic abuse I think can understand what women are asking for is not much more than respect and equality and decency. I personally trust women generally more than men because I’ve seen how abusive and oppressive the ideas of toxic insecure masculinity can be against others, its just hatred and bitterness. And this movie shows how you HAVE to cross the gender gap for both to make a better world, you cant make it separately, Nux for example is a great example of modern male cults
This episode hit home more than any other episode. It also shed light to how far I've come and how much I've grown. I feel lighter.
Thank you ♡