Should I Leave My Husband? | 5 Signs You're In an Unhappy Marriage
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- čas přidán 10. 06. 2024
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00:00 WELCOME
00:19 LACK OF COMMUNICATION
02:05 FEELING ALONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
03:51 LACK OF INTIMACY
04:49 FANTASIZE ABOUT NOT BEING IN THE MARRIAGE
06:17 STUCK IN THE BLAME GAME
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I gotta get the f**k outta this marriage. You just have no idea. I don't want to resolve anything. I just want the courage to leave. Thank you for the upload
Same here sis
My only fear is finances I've been a stay at home mom for 7 yrs and I don't think I can take care of myself
No trust, lonely, misunderstood. Deception! My husband is an ass. Im 61 he is 72. I’m gone. Thank you
WOW!!! Every single one of these is what I’m going through but #4 is the biggest one I’m going through! 😢😔 I do picture myself being happy being alone 😔
Think about this carefully, you have to be responsible for your own happiness. Your husbands job is not keeping you happy. If it is, then he won’t be able to fulfil his other duties properly. Your happiness will come back and go over time. If marriages was easy, there would be no reason to celebrate it. The next person you end up with, you will still end up unhappy at some point. But, I’m not walking in your shoes, so I don’t know what you’re going through. But do think carefully, because the only reason you got married is because at some point, he was the best thing you knew. If he was that then, he can still be that now.
Welcome to the club. I hope you feel better since your comment
@@rolandjolicoeur9854 challenge is when this person is not willing to work on the marriage. U find yourself drained pulling alone n finally you loose the little strength left within you. Marriage takes two, always
I have checked out after 22 years of marriage. The worst part is how to tell him. I have ticked all the signs you have mentioned here.
I was unhappy the moment I said yes.
This is what my mom feels right now. She's not being understood. She's being disregarded all the time. She is the only one who communicates. She's tired.
im assuming you are still a child... so sad that you picked up on this with your parents :(. i am trying very hard to put on the mask until my kids both finish school but some days are so SO hard! I hope i am doing an ok job of shielding them from the tension. hope your mom makes it out with her sanity :/ i hope i can eventually teach my kids that its ok to LEAVE (something I am not brave enough to do quite yet)
I feel her pain
Thank you for the video. This is exactly what I am going thru for the last 20 yrs. Very painful life. It took a severe toll on my physical mental n emotional health. My husband is extremely un empathetic n is never there to talk to. He shuts me off before even i talk. I feel like my life is worthless....but hanging in there for my children.
I’m in the same satiation. This unhappy marriage is making sick, It’s not worth it. Take good care of yourself. Once your kids are old enough you can get out
This is what am feeling, am even planning to leave. Am sick and tired of this relationship.
I love him but he’s not answering my needs. The worst part now is that every time I tell him I need more affection, he popes more and more into the children and chores but NEVER me. I want him to touch me and love me but now he’s saying it’s not his love language. Well now where does that leave me??
If he can't work on the relationship with you then there is no relationship, there is no growth, and no deeper level. It can make you feel like you don't matter. That's bad for you.
You can call him immature because "adults " work things out, compromise,and "real"men fix things.😊
Literally exactly the same
If it's not his love language, he's always been this way.
If not, maybe he's not so attracted to you anymore. And it's something that happens very frequently in long relationships, unfortunately. Don't feel bad.
Why don't you stop thinking about the problem, about what's lacking, and start focusing on yourself and your happiness? Find ways to make your life better, more enjoyable, to feel better in your skin (whatever that means to you: self care, exercise, accomplishments, friends, spiritual practices, etc) - and if he's the one for you, he will feel drawn to you again, if not, you will find the strength within to make the right decisions for your life, and other people will feel attracted and connected to you.
Work on yourself, focus on yourself, love yourself. Stop focusing on what is lacking in your life.
I’ve already made up my mind. I’m unhappy & im not going to put up with this anymore. Not sure why I’m watching this but almost all are true for my marriage.
Me too
Same me too. Plus my husband is insulting and rude. I’ve had enough
I have three sons with my husband. He has lied so much to me, always disappointing me and never fulfilling his promises. He hardly sacrifices much and i feel as though im always giving. Im starting to feel numb. I often think about my family, my children if i must walk away, even I thin about my finances. Its all so daunting. However my children are not ready benefitting right now from his absence. It gets soo bad emotionally at times that i can even have suicidal thoughts, thoughts of regret. I don't even know if i truly love him anymore. I am starting to feel like im living a lie.
I have found myself relating to all 5 signs. However the fifth one really stuck. I have found that when I take accountability when I’m wrong, it has just made him feel even more like he’s never wrong.
Feel exactly the same
Exactly. There's nothing much you can do with the wrong person. Whatever efforts you make, makes them worse..
As a guy... i can say these are definitely where i am at. I'm not only fanatasizing at this point... i am planning. Cant wait.
I very much relate with the video. Actually my husband has zero one to one communication. He just doesn't want to listen. It's been 23 years we have been married but yet I never feel emotionally connected.
I'm so sorry to hear about that Alka. I know how important communication is in a relationship and it's very vital that he learns how to develop that. I wanted to let you know that we are available for coaching and if you ever need to book a coaching session with us, please visit the link below.
www.happilycommitted.com
This is pretty much how I feel all the time 😢
I wish I see this video before… We are separate now. My husband is trying so hard to get me back now but I don’t know if I can come back to him. I feel like it is too late to fix it. Wish everyone who has all these problems see this video… before it is too late
Am going through all of that and am so so tired already.....thanks for sharing,I was beginning to think I was alone in this matter
Excellent video. This was my marriage -- with the exception of fantasizing about a life away from the relationship. I was horribly codependent and never had those thoughts of happiness for myself. I was so tied up in my husband's needs, despite me being miserable, I couldn't think about or do much for myself.
Codependency, self love deficiency, whatever you want to call it, is awful.
Thanks, Danny.
You are so welcome! I am glad you liked the video and the content.
-Coach Danny
Me too. Dismissive and blaming me and he is the reason I feel this way
There is no such thing as codependency …..but there is a male who is abusive towards you . There is nothing wrong with you at all .
Have been married for 40 years. I have fantasize about not being married for years. I have felt alone for years. He does want sex but it lasts 10 minutes twice a week, not a lot of emotions. He refuses to talk about issues, feelings or needs. He just shuts down. I recently retired and now I feel like I have hit a wall. I think I need to finally leave him. I’m just afraid that I will have regrets and be lonely.
Makes sence but I hv been fantasise about living alone and I can’t wait
My husband always prioritizes his stepmother and stepbrother. They are not sincere to us which I know very well and communicated the same to him. But he is not admitting it and blaming me saying that it is just my misunderstanding. We always fight for this. I am fed up.
I am tired, he is always gone but he financially supports me, I don’t have a job and I have a mental illness
I’m currently experiencing every single one of these. I’m so incredibly unhappy. I’m at the lowest weight I’ve ever been since high school. After 19 years total together and 2 kids, I feel so lost.
There is NOTHING WRONG with maintaining individuality while in a relationship.
My husband is expressing his love thru words and affection but I still don't feel so loved at all.. Like he has no plans for us, no desire for progress.. me crying everytime because of our situation makes my ears feel deaf from his loving words.. I'm always longing for a more mature kind of love.. a love beyond words.
I am going through the same phase
Same, it’s all talk always.
🥺
You sound emotional not logical
I going throu the same.
What happens if i communicate so much to him and even in sex life, plans in the future, trying to help him to open up. But im getting tired because he said hes listening but nothing. Im getting tired 😪
Im going thru all of these right now! Me and my husband had lack of communication and I can’t express myself! Please help! I feel so sad and loney! 😢😢
My husband goes to sleep when I try to have a conversation with him so I’m left stuck to battle on my own while still being a wife and mother. I have 2 babies and I get no recognition nothing you would think he would come home with flowers for me (it would be a cold day in hell before that happens) have I tried talking to him?? COUNTLESS TIMES but like I said HE’S SLEEP during a conversation! So who do I talk to my friends and they encourage me to “Boss up” then leave. We don’t watch movies together, we don’t go out on dates, he’s on his phone and I’m on mine. That’s the marriage I’m in. Let’s not forget WE HAVE NO FAMILY PICTURES! Wishful thinking and dreaming is what I do. Mother’s Day Valentine’s Day my birthday NOTHING! Christmas semi a little bullshit gift enough for me to settle lol 😂 MARRIAGE!
I am not afraid of being alone- but in this relationship I feel alone and do not want to- I never felt alone before- and I have many great friends, family- I just can’t be with them because I am so unhappy with him and I do not want to tell outsiders. I made myself alone- I should never had cared about his look to those I loved- time for him to deal- I love big and just because he is an alcoholic and it makes him look bad- time to let him look the way he does and me to be free to be me. Love him- but he doesn’t love me more than the bottle so time to move on.:(
This sounds like my everyday. I have all of these problems. I'm stuck
YES I AM GOING THROUGH ALL THE EMOTIONAL HURT IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS ....... I AM NOT HAPPY. THANKS FOR THE VIDEO ........... I AM GOING THROUGH ALL THIS AND I FEEL likE GOING OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP .....
We fall out off love with our partners as we grow and change through life’s experiences 🌻
Oh my god, this is all my life. I thought I was alone. I long to be alone now. X
Thank you so much for this!
My husband is a functioning alcoholic and I have ALL those 5 signs and have for years. I tried counseling and he only came to 1 and sat there with his arms crossed and said I am crazy, there's no problem, I am making it up, I am blowing things out of proportion, making a mountain out of a nole hill. Then he never returned to any other counseling appointment. I was mentally planning to leave when my elderly mother had a stroke and moved in with us. Now I am stuck and need any of the little help he gives. I am beyond miserable
This is what's going on with my marriage right now. Great video but for me my husband and I have culture issues and with us having all of these signs it's going to be hard to repair this marriage. Thanks
I'm experiencing the same things in my marriage and alot of it has to with culture differences as well.
Pls where are your men from? I’m curious. Thanks
Amazing video every couple should listen to!
Thank you so much!
This is what’s going on with my Maganig right now and I’m always thinking about leaving but am so scary because we have kids and I don’t want destroyed my marriage but I’m not happy and thanks 🙏
Hello,
It can be quite scary to consider leaving your partner. We know its not just a an easy decision. When making a decision you must look at all avenues and and make the decision for yourself, children and the future.
Thanks
Coach Danny
It scares me that I do all 5 of those things
OMG it felt like I literally just sat down and talked to.him, because I feel all of this!😢
In this all comments I can see only pain everyone's heart
Everything we get opposite things in our life
It's like climbing Mount Everest and I don't have the energy, the equipment, nor the desire. I don't know what to do but drink my unhappiness away.
I am very unhappy there is no communication he would rather be on his phone playing VR or be at work. I have felt like an only parent for too many years now. Not only that he will try for a day or two then it goes right back to the way it is. I have told him maybe we need to separate because we are incompatible. I feel alone all the time . I wish things would get better but he doesn't listen to anything I say at all.
Very true. Usually, arrogance n lost of respect /self respect making one to feel he/she deserve better in life n forgot his/her roots
thanks for this
Aww 😢 looks like I'm Alone and all the above fits too.😫
This was very good. It helped me understand my marriage
I'm glad it helped Lynda!
N u just explained excatly whats happening in my marriage. Am at the verge of leaving
Thank u so much, it helped me alot
Glad it helped!
-Coach Danny
we are 18 years gap... i'm okay with it! I'm working too, earning good money... got married. Then after 2 months, i want to file a divorce.... i mean it's in my mind all the time. Apart from our differences, he has 2 adult children from previous marriage and his mom is with us. So, we have our issues too.... because of our culture they have to be in our house... so, i'm not happy! However i can't just get away from these... but honestly i feel stuck!
My husband hit me to overcome his frustration and anger. This is happening for 6 years since 2017. Living in another country after marriage and now I feel so worthless. I have tolerated every physical violence from my husband for 6 years. I need to get away from my abusive husband but it is difficult. No one believes my side of story 😢 I do not know what do to 😢
Same here,I live with my husband in saudi arabia but still he beats me very badly😒
@@zaibamokthar9244I'm so sorry you're going through this 😢 do you have friends and family who could help you?
This is my 2nd marriage. Married for 9 years, together for 13. He’s a great guy, but very negative, lazy, he’s a slob and doesn’t help me do anything. I’m 53 and refuse to live the rest of my life this way.
Wow I think I've purged. I've been on a self discovery journey. I am able to not get triggered by him anymore. I have opened up about not being in love any more. About wanting ro feel accepted, to be loved unconditionally, to be heard without judgment. All i get is that o have changed too much that we are on two diff paths. 😢
Excellent and great video. Everything this video say said is what I'm facing in my marriage, i husband never Leasing to me, he doesn't communicat with me never. I love him, i care for he, i suprise he, i always try to make he happy i do a lot for he. We know for almost 6years, and we have marriage for 4years now, have 2kids. All i get in return is pain and cry 😢 i even have chest pain but he doesn't care but right now I'm done ✅ with he
When I tell my husband what I am not happy about or upset to make him understand how I feel . He gets annoyed angry and not ready to communicate. What should I do?
Hi Devindri,
We are sorry to hear about this as we know how difficult this can be to deal with. We would love to help you with this. In order for us to properly advice you on this, we would need to know a little more about your relationship with your husband.
I hope you can book a coaching call with us using this link!
happilycommitted.com/coaching/
Exactly like my husband. He goes into a rage and gets really angry with me if I try to express my unhappiness. Then it becomes full scale mayhem.
Dump him
That's how i feel
First 2 💯
3 ,4 ,5 no
Whenever I tried to communicate he always get angry. ..that's y communication never work in my case...
Lol. Hit the nail on the head.
My marriage is relating to all these signs and I am 28 weeks pregnant😑
Girl, I’m so sorry! How are you doing now?
How do I communicate without talking? We do not talk at all to avoid conflicts where I get upset and cry and he get angry and shouts anything and everything bad that comes in his mind at that point … I am just guessing he speaks pls out everything what he was brewing inside all along but as we do not talk it was never caught at butt … I get hurt, because I had no idea, and things things said are generally very disrespectful and hurtful … I am open to communication in small doses as long as I do not end up with everything is your fault on my head … and where do I learn to communicate non triggering way?
I know this video is old. I have a question. I've been married 26 years, it's turned very unhealthy and technically we've not been a couple for years. I don't fear living alone. I worry about missing little things from habit, if that makes sense. I live in a sexless non communication relationship. I have been individual for a while. I just have this stage feeling of leaving him with no where to go. If it was me he would probably let me be homeless.
25 years and feeling the exact same way. So sad that so many of us are here. But if I leave, I know I have done everything I can do.
@@luisaburman655 However just to add that its really important that you continue to work on your mental and physical health and boundaries so that you can move on if that is the case, as the best possible version of you. Remember that if and when you leave you'll still be carrying 50% of the marriage baggage with you. So heal first before making a decision
@kymh4357 so sorry, I hope that things have improved for you over the past months
Communication ❌ Lonely ✅ Lack of intimacy and quality convos ✅ fantasize of independence ✅ not feeling understood ✅
It can be so hard to get out of these situations for some. I see other women like me who are very dependent on others and also me having a toxic family that I can’t go back to and have support from it causes this getting “ stuck “ in relationships. It’s hard and I dream of independence and I’m trying to work towards that. I just want a lifelong partner and us to be “ compatible “.
I’m so tired of wasting time
Literally exactly how I feel in my marriage right now.
5/5..
I need counselling and help as i am not happy with my husband as he things there is nothing wrong but i am very unhappu we dont have sex, we just speak sweetly to each other to not hurt each others feelings i think i am done with my husband
How about we sit down and talk and basically i am always wrong and she is always right
Unfortunately I feel/suffer through all these things currently and have been for a long time now within my marriage with my wife.
We have been together for a LONG time and have children of varying ages and given everything we've been through I Know that our relationship can not be fixed.
I want to try and make things better, at least for the sake of our children.
And, although I've thought, contemplated and fantasized of life after divorce...at the end of the day I'm just scared of losing everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING.
I am the worst husband in the world and my wife will probably leave me soon.
I live my husband, but I suspect he cheated on me years ago. At that time, I believed his lie, but fast forward, to much things here and there throughout the years of what he did behind my back makes me second guess if he cheated on me. There is a lot of resentment between us now. I just don’t know anymore.
I hear this- I had an area of history that I question the faithfulness- I know part of my problem is I never got over it- I may not be able to- so I may have to move on. Once I lose trust I am unsure how to hand it ever again.
All of the above
What happens when you take the lead and they still don’t change anything ?
Can I talk to the man in person who is addressing in the video ??? I'm in trouble. Need to talk.
Hi Sarah, you can book a one-on-one coaching session with me by clicking on the following link:happilycommitted.com/coaching/
- Coach Danny
Hi, for postpartum lack of sex, how long is “normal” for a woman’s libido to be low? Thx
Hi!
This can vary depending on the individual. There are multiple factors to take into consideration, however, to break it down in its most simplest form: there are internal and external variables. Internal can be hormonal, mental, etc. External can be the amount of support she is receiving from you are her support system in general. There is always an adjustment period after having a baby. I would recommend patience, compassion, and empathy. Postpartum can range from 3-5 days to years. I would seek the advice of a medical doctor or a clinical psychologist if it persists after 2-3 weeks.
- Coach Danny
Thx, bro
Scored 5 out of 5….
First 3 yrs marriage perfect never argued very romantic in sync totaly love making off the scale . Then yr after he changed clothes apperance dyed his grey hair changed routine out more argumentive hides n changed pass word on phone comp . Late n early morn calls secretive txts n calls got physcal hit me called me names ignored me . Shouting n been a pain . Flirted openly with women n then says im imagine it ? Even wen caught him out denied it .
Really? You need signs to know if you are unhappy?
Yes. Sadly, a lot of people are in denial.
“5/5…” these comments man
I just need variety. Lol
🤣🤣
Hi Danny, because I've watched your video 3 times now and because you start off saying that it's "specifically geared towards women", I am compelled to let you know that as a man in an unhappy marriage to a man, your video resonates with me as well. I'm preparing for individual relationship therapy, because my husband doesn't believe in therapy, and I was searching for a video with language that I could use to help express how I'm feeling with a therapist, and of all the videos I watched, yours is the only one that came across for me as 100% applicable and clear. Please know that your work can apply to all marriages. Thank you for your video. 👍🏾
Everyone's situation is so unique. To narrow these down to the simplicity you have in my opinion its giving people the wrong Idea.
No. People are sick and tired of putting up with the bare minimum in relationships and marriages. They're no longer settling for anything less than true happiness.
Sexless marriage here just saying
All women want space and they are just not happy
Not sure why this had to be described as centered on women. Seems like an archaic assumption of gender norms. There’s nothing in this video that a man/husband couldn’t relate to.
Because statistically it’s women dealing with this. Men and women are different emotional beings.
U are so spot on it hurts; U opened ur mouth and literally spoke every single thing I feel in my marriage....THANK U for allowing me to feel heard even if thru a stranger #marriagesucks 🥲💜