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How to Handle Being Let Down by Someone
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- čas přidán 30. 08. 2018
- In this video, I share with you how you can handle being let down by someone and not let it affect you.
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When possible, I prefer not to deal with people with different standards, especially when they constantly let you down. No point to waste energy or time on them, I don’t care if they are that way because of their upbringing, that’s not my problem. I am tired of it.
I am tired of such people too. I see your comment is from a year ago. How are you now? Is the situation any better
@@OA2605 hi! All is well, thanks! I don’t remember why I made that commemt. I listened to part of the video again but it doesn’t ring a bell, it does make sense everything he is saying. Best wishes!
@@tanairigonzalez9793 glad to know you are in a better place!
@@OA2605 thanks I hope you are too!
This is why i don't have friends or even talk to womans its sad but be lonely is the only peace we have in this world💯🙏💯
This video is really well put. You are right about different standards. I am a kind of person who is too much invested in friendships, but i always get friends with different standards about friendships. While i am too excited to be making plans and meeting them, they are always either cancelling them or ditch at the end moment. And it's not like they don't wanna meet me, they just have their priorities. And this effects me very deeply. Every day i am let down by my friends, and my friends mean alot to me, maybe i don't mean to them that much. Because of family issues, my friends mean family to me but they always let me down. And then all the hurt crushes my soul. And i am sad, hurt and infuriated.
You might also be correct about the communication part. But how do I convey my expectations to people when they really don't seem to care?
And it's not the first time happening to me, they have let me down number of times in the past too. I just don't know how to avoid it. I try to ghost them and live my own life, but a month later it's back to square one.
I get it. I get that i should change the way i look at a situation. "It's not what happens to you, but how you respond to it" but the pain is real. And it triggers my loneliness.
Sorry for just blurting out my feelings at the moment. I am just tired of people
I hope life has been better for you this year - keep your head up ❤
This is some quite excellent content. Love the music in the background and the applicable information that you share. Subscribed!
This is a really good video, I think for me looking at it from the perspective of maybe the other person just wasn't feeling it anymore. All I can do is say yes I'm disappointed and upset but I can't make anyone do anything. I must understand some people change their minds or ideas and that is not in my control.
The issue for me isn't just the communication of expectations. When someone agrees or even chooses a date time and place at their convenience then repeatedly cancels leaving one with wasted hours or days what on earth can I do about that? Its completely out of my control and a deeply unpleasant experience.
I've always responded with kindness, understanding and concern but it keeps happening. By now it hovers over any arrangement, a persistent anxious cloud threatening to spoil the fun.
The other thing it corrodes is hope. Having something to look forward to is great for your mental health, it can and often does add to the experience. Repeatedly having the highlight of your week torn from your grasp is not.
The ability to choose how to respond to disappointment is useful but ultimately limited by how much the interaction means to you. The truth is that if you follow disappointment around it will bite you, repeatedly and for as long as you let it.
I relate to this to the core. You tolerated enough. Stop holding value to the one who lets you down despite letting them know what you need in your life. Its hard,but holding on is not worth the drama . Slowly you turn in to this bitter person who was once well lived . You will miss yourself. Do not do that.
This video was very helpful in promoting mindfulness when in situations like this one. It really helped me to let go of the negative emotions brought on by being (what I consider to be) "let down" by taking a more omniscient perspective of the situation.
Thank you sooo much i really needed this perfect timing you are 100% right
Wow, thanks Rafael. This really helped me a lot. My friend recently let me down and I've been really upset about it lately and this video solved it. Thank you :)
Sometimes you just have to tell the person to fuck off. No regrets. No apologies. No looking back. Nothing. Just move on. The idiot doesn't deserve you. There's always better people coming in your life.
Hi Rafael. I think you are from USA. I have just started watching your videos. What a pure soul and kind heart you have. I usually dont comment on videos but this is an exception. I see a motivational speaker in you. I wish if you purse it as a career the whole world will be enlighten. Love from Pakistan. Thumbs up. Keep doing this. Thank you.
I needed this! Thank you brilliant perspective
In this digital age where people are happy to get glued to screens watching series and numbing themselves emotionally, you cannot expect them to involve and be present with you. World is becoming more and more individualized. People attach tags like 'needy' for expecting atleast one phone call a month that too beong in a long distance relationship. Love is dead. Prepare yourselves for a life of torment if you have emotions and as well as standards.
This is what I needed to hear
Thank you
Thank you so much... You help me raffael... I wish I had someone that I know who is like you, the way that you look in so many perspective and helping people which is that people doesn't feel like you patronizing them...
Thank you for helping me gain some perspective on situations. I really do try to be so understanding but I can’t help but wonder if I take everyones shit when I shouldn’t. Thank you, really helped ease the pain.
First comment 😍 keep going I really like your videos and what you say 😇
Well done brother
People don't want me to do my weights and I have osteoporosis and then they asked was my food nice i told them this question makes me not want to eat and feel sick. I went off and starved myself. I train 7 hours daily. I have low blood pressure currently. I used to think was too nice and that was a slippery slope into obesity and upset stomach. I have bedn quite overweight twice. I was putting on decent muscle. I have an underactive thyroid and being fat is dangerous for my bones. I binge ate occasionally and gained about 4kg. 2kg was muscle and 2kg was fat. Im just not eating any meal in front of anyone or ill just starve to death.
Sometimes people just don’t care.
If most people don’t have the same standards as me, wouldn’t it be foolish to trust them?
Bro you deserve much more subscribers! You are awesome!
Can’t meet my standards then I’m
Better off alone
People always try to put me down by comparing me with other people, saying they are better than me in this and that and so on, luckily such comments that can strongly affect into bringing insicurities to whoever received them, don't make me become me insicure ahd feel worthless but yet it annoys me to get such rude statements
I don’t know why but my parents keep letting me down
People create psychological blind spots to avoid seeing their inner contradictions. You can also let go of being let down when you realize that people don't have a stable "I". The "I" in charge is constantly changing based on circumstances, so in one moment one "I" decides to do something, but the next moment a new "I" is in charge and wants nothing to do with what the previous "I" promised to do. Yet we always believe we are one and the same. Man's greatest illusion is believing he is one integrated "I" with will power. Knowing this you won't be let down becuase you won't have unrealistic expectations of others. As Jesus would say "Father forgive them for they do not know what they do."
Most dogs have more emotional intelligence and sincerity than most humans. Our human world is currently dominated by the petty materialism of the ‘happy few’ creating a sick and superficial egotistical competition, that is by no means sensitive to the real needs of authentic people, animals or nature. Culture and art not even mentioned, because critical thinkers are an absolute hell for a selfish and/or ambitious person. They just don’t realize how much hell they are to others.
Pls can u do a video about changing from sensitive person to a strong person☺️
Thank you for this video i literally watched it from the first second to the last one without skipping any part I'm struggling with this problem and i fell like i have a heavy weight on my chest because of it i start feeling like my heart hurting me sometimes and I can't even breath and my heartbeats are going crazy evertime i remember i lost my soul mate because of this and i can't say anything
I shared this to myself because I need to hear it over and over until it works in me because I have bad experiences of people letting me down alot
I find people express exactly what they are going to do. "I'll see you at 3". Then they don't follow through. I get so tired I just cut everyone out of my life.
Thank you for making these video’s. I really appreciate that. I have a question! :) if there is one book that really changed your life, which book would you choose? X Sophie from the Netherlands :)
Thank you, and thats funny, i'm reading the power of now right now! Haha! :)
I don't agree with this video. Why is it your fault if someone lets you down?
fantastic
Perfect timing! :)
I don't think I have hard standards I'm always there for people so I just want them to be there the rare time that I do need them and ask for help. And I do blame my self too much
I can't keep understanding sb who repeatedly let's me down. How can I understand it's sb's nature to be bad to me when am good to him/her. If they keep letting me down I take it that they don't see my worthy.
Thanks
thanks !
I think this and other videos are well intentioned but they border on gaslighting. You will encounter many people in life that will do things to let you down or hurt you that 100% knew what they were doing.
Great video
i always try to keep comments when it comes to family anything else come second in my life
what if it's not you and you know it's not? i'm still hurting and feel sick my stomach is churning inside i was very badly let down even after making my feelings clear
Thank you
Where are you from ??
I think if a person actually cares for you and has some empathy there is no need to explain your expectations... they can just see it and meet you there if they’re interested, even at your worse... the moment you are explaining it or talking about it it’s already a sign of incompatibility... don’t waste your time or energies people but learn to simply let go. it’s like love, you don’t need to say that you love someone, they can feel it... the moment you are talking about it is because there is no much love there in first place... from my experience I see all these people talking about their problems, reversing the actual facts, explaining the inexplainable, confusing the issues so much and ultimately coming up with a very questionable agreement. Truth is whatever compromise you reach, one person (the one with higher standard) will always end up hurt... unless he/she decides to change and lower those standards... and this is what today’s society encourages you to do, because everybody is important and everyone has to be accepted... no wonder why we end up with such a low leveled society!
Hidden expectations.... What is that? What is 'hidden' expectations? Expectations with skeletons?
Sorry, I didn't mean to ask.
Dealing with paranoid schizophrenia, it sounds like.
'Why did you ask that question'?
'Why do you want to know'?
'What are you going to do'?
Either that or , 'what are you trying to steal'?
Someone once said, ' when I say love, I mean hate'.
And going on said, 'I really am going to love you'...
But when this person even fooled the Church pastor with this 'love' = 'hate' personal definition, the entire congregation was put to risk.
Hidden expectations? What is that?
Is it you that entertains such in Churches?
Standards... As in yes meaning yes; no meaning no?
But when the pastor doesn't even know, what then is yes and what then is no while Church is being lived? Seeing the wolves are not surrendered out.
And to add upon these..
Tax payers...
Hidden public expectations...what is that?
I think if you add an Arabic subtitle you will have more views 😄😄😄
love
Can i ask your age? Plz ❤😀
بحبك❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙈❤❤❤❤