r/Askreddit What's The Worst You've Ever Been Cockblocked?
Vložit
- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- r/Askreddit Have you ever been cockblocked or beaver-dammed? This Reddit thread is filled with depressing, frustrating, and infuriating stories about the worst times that people have been SO CLOSE to the finish line, only to get shut down at the last moment. What about you? Do you have any stories to share about times when you almost sealed the deal, but got denied in the end? Share them in the comments!
0:00 Intro
0:03 What is your worst cock block?
0:09 Butthole exposes my intentions
0:41 We can passionately hug but getting food, no way
1:31 Unexpected guest who is crazy
2:48 My friend stops a make out
3:51 Did you murder your friend?
4:05 My doppelgänger must live near by
4:36 Friend steals her wallet. No one wins
5:27 My dad cock blocks my best friend
7:02 Me and my partner are NOT home alone it turns out
7:30 Kinky potty training
8:12 Turned down a beautiful lady for World of Warcraft
8:36 Third wheel
9:09 Closeted person gets possessive
10:49 Man overboard test messes up fun times
11:24 Tough start, happy ending
12:29 The sobbing ex
14:07 Bro tries to steal my girl, she leaves
🤔 r/Askreddit What's Your "I Don't Get Paid Enough For This" Moment? • r/Askreddit What's You...
linktr.ee/rslash
#reddit #askreddit #funny
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
"If he couldn’t score, then no-one should score"
Gotta hate that mentality. That's a LOT of Envy.
Envy is normal. Jealousy is normal. But this crazy person decided to go overkill
If there was ever a reason to kick someone’s a*s
@@shinymainespoon duct tape then should be considered normal...
I think outside of Envy its insecurity aswell.
Damn..at least my dad enjoyed the noise FAR too much...completely ruined the mood when I came upstairs to get water..
“She had no way of getting home” She hitch hiked all the way there, she can hitch hike back.
@@H-to-O Unwillingness to get mental illness treated and/or drugs.
she def had a crush on the guy
that's right
@@H-to-O She hitchhiked 250 _miles_ not for 2.5 hours. 250 miles in 2.5 hours would mean an average speed of 100mph, so unless she was hitchhiking with street racers...
@@DAKOTA56777 likely took 1/2 nights to get there
“Beaver Dammed”
Hat’s off to the Redditor who introduced this term to the culture. You are a king.
Clam jam was hilarious too
I always heard it as Twat Swatting
Red sock was a term I coined because I misheard what my little cousin's said. I don't know exactly what he said but my other cousin decided to make a red dyed sock, roll it in a ball with something heavy in it so you could throw it at someone. So if anyone was cock blocking they would get the red sock thrown at them and you would hear "flag on the play".
@@drwboy07 They’d throw that sock at anyone cockblocking? I didn’t get what you meant.
@@wannabehistorian371 yeah if you were cock blocking someone else you had this thrown at you. I asked my cousin earlier today that made it what he made it out of. He said it was a ball bearing wrapped in tape, than wrapped in a sock dyed red. It felt like getting hit by a fluffy tennis ball tbh.
That story about OP's dad with the friend had me literally laughing out loud.
Does the father count as a madlad? He stopped a superior "passionate hug" because he didn't want to be 1-up'd by a high school senior. Either way, he seems like a great dad
I saw the dad as a complete jealous piece of shit. He was so mad that he had his days come and go and couldnt stomach the fact that a HS kid had succeeded where he had failed. A 60 yr dude resorting to such a slime ball move against a kid is low. Sounds like the kind of guy not allowed within 300 ft of schools
@@77wolf89 hahahaha I absolutely do NOT thing jealousy drove him to collect the friend 😂 I think that was a joke and he was just being a responsible adult. Nothing in the story says they were legal drinking age, I’m assuming this was a 20-something college party. I’m not saying I DIDNT do crazy shit in my early 20s, but real adults dragged me home plenty of times 🤷🏽♀️
ETA yea he called them “teenagers”, that means at BEST they were 19. You can’t leave a 19 year old who still lives at home at a crazy college party at 2AM, no matter what experience he’s about to have.
"No way in hell is CJ having a threesome before me!"
xD
@@77wolf89 More likely that he was joking about that part. However, he probably had promised CJ's mom to bring him back safe, which does mean not leaving him there, extremely drunk, which could result in god knows what. Add to this the fact that CJ could in no way, shape or form consent to any type of passionate hugging due to him being that intoxicated.
Imagine hearing someone's plans and thinking "I have no safe and reasonable way to get to this private place I wasn't invited to... I'll just try harder!" I hope they didn't have to get a restraining order.
Yeah, a number of these stories had me thinking "stalker" about one side or the other.
The story about the girl who had a crush on the musician made me physically cringe and die inside a little bit 😭😭😭 poor girl
Her friend ruined a interesting part of OP’s life if it went well but then again unintentionally saved OP but who knows
She was so close to living her Wattpad fanfic IRL 😭
Me who's never been remotely close to that point: "hmm yes I can totally relate to these stories"
Same here
Same, never got CBlocked either.
This comment had 69 likes before I reloaded the page
Sadly I have been cockblocked.... The friend that cockblocked me got punched in the dick.
Kolkata k
Mm
A lot of these really make me thing "Would I willing to go to jail over murdering someone for cockblocking me?" and after hearing the stories, I have to say for a number of them, YES. Especially the guy who stole the wallet. There is being a cockblock and then there is just being an utter douchebag for stealing from someone like that.
You know, they say that "violence is not the answer." But in this case...
Violence is the question and the answer is
Y E S!!!
MEEEE! I was blocked by my own MOTHER! This was back in the 80's at the height of Brit and Aussie Pop/New Wave. Anyway my moms cousin was then a bass player for the band PIL, and they came to SF as the opening act for the group INXS. A group I absolutely LOVED. We were invited backstage to hang with her cousin, and members of both bands. I was in teen fangirl HEAVEN. I got to talking to the lead singer of INXS, and he started getting close, and asked if I wanted to go and share a drink. I'm all HELL YEAH! Then my mom yells across the room "She's only 15!". That was that.. He said maybe next time, winked and moved on. My mom loves to tell that story... Me? At the time I was so mad, because "I could have slept with Sex God Michael Hutchence". Now as a mom to a teen daughter I totally thank my mom. Although..... 🤔😉
A lot of these “accidental” incidents are totally 100% planned. They could at least have the guts/cahones to admit it’s intentional and deal with the fallout. Having been in a very few situations somewhat similar to these, and hearing countless stories over the years, the ones doing the “blocking” know exactly what they’re doing, and have 0 shame.
I’ll add the toddler to the list of people who did it on purpose 😂 as a mom with one, i swear it feels like they really don’t want to have a sibling 😂
*cojones :p
@@yurikoinukai2602 lol. But the toddler is the cutest one you can forgive more so than the others.
@@yurikoinukai2602 and as anyone who's tried to potty train a youngster can say - when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
That story with CJ had me howling with laughter!! It became even funnier when OP said his dad was 60 and married.
Also POOOOOOOOP!!!! Was pretty funny
The one with the toddler yelling "POOOOOP!" had me laughing to tears. That was HYSTERICAL!
Well, imagine the one guy had gone and skipped the raid so the guild leader said "Raid is off, our tank might getting laid tonight!". This might have gotten a couple of cheers I guess.
I mean, the tank is supposed to be able to really take it~
@@Zeekfox and should be able to open up areas~~
I think I discovered a new emotion reading through this
clearly you never raided....raiding is life...
@@thatotherandrew_ Yeah, I'm freaking dying lmao 😂😂
A lot of these stories in a nutshell:
*"If I can't hook up with someone, then noone can!!"* **Trollface**
"She hitchhiked 250 miles to get here despite not being invited"
Talk about persistent.
No kidding. Points for the drive, or lack thereof considering
wondering if she was hoping to turn it into a threesome or somethin. Damn creepy though
I believe that is called Stalking and is highly illegal.
Regarding tying up and gagging story, it's most definitely NOT a good idea to leave someone in that state before going to bathroom.
yeah why didn't he prepare himself BEFORE he tied her up
@@Angel3x111 probs didn't fit the scene they had planned.
@@Angel3x111 He probably had the door open since I assume it was a master bedroom
In my early ’20s, I was seeing a lovely lady, who already had a couple of kids. But they’re not important to the direct story.
I came home from work, washed up, and we sat down to a lovely meal and video (yeah! I’m old). Her children were with her parents, so… she decided to use that time to move our friendship to that next level. Anyways, after the movie she took me by my hand and walked me down the passage slowly undressing as we went. She was ahead of me, and as she entered the bedroom started to light incense and candles. It was a beautiful and wondrous scene. However, I’m an asthmatic, and the combination of perfume, incense and.. well.. expectations, sent my asthma into over drive and I ended up in hospital for the next couple of days. She was there when I came out, and we tried again, only to have her kids come home and walk in on us. All the pent up passion evaporated, and her eldest daughter, (about 12) yelled to her grandmother that mum and I, were screwing and maybe they should come back later. Her son, (about 8) came running in asking what ‘screwing’ meant. The grandmother very quickly and quietly ushered the kids out and told us to call her when we decided to finish. So yeah, cockblocked by poor genetics and misfortune..
Oof... That sucks man.
Not going to lie, the story about the toddler being the cockblock was hilarious.
I can relate to that. Lord knows my daughter as toddler did that herself. Unknowingly, of course.
nah, she knew
@@katiec552 how 👀
@@joaojoao6423 children are awful
Hilarious? It was absolutely hysterical.
I’m certain I did that to my folks.
The woman couldn’t tell the toddler she was tied up. She had a gag in her mouth hahaha.
I was hooking up with my last boyfriend on the living room floor when there's a knock on the front door. We both scrambled to get dressed so we could answer it, and it turned out to be the sheriff. I think that has to be the worst cockblock I've experienced.
Ooof! That was probably the worst I've seen.
what the heck was the sheriff doing there lmao
@@shuk7076 He was checking to make sure that the people who were supposed to live there were living there
@@krystencabbage1032 oh aight, at least it’s wasn’t to arrest someone lol
@@krystencabbage1032So, were they living there?
Third wheel story:
Driver, time for you to learn something: If some guy yells shotgun for your car while you are the driver, and you don't want him to sit in the front, yell "reload". This allows for someone else to yell shotgun instead and they get to claim the seat.
Orrr you know don't give a crap about these 'codes' and just straight up tell him to sit in the back because the seat was for the girl.
Yeah dude. Letting him come at all was disrespectful enough but letting him call shotgun? That had to be on purpose by the friend. No one is that oblivious
Have the girl yell "DOUBLE BARREL"! 🤣
"I've been married to her 17 years now." Well, it's safe to assume that they got to continue, but a bit later! XD
Went to a friend’s party (more like 6 or 7 people just hanging out) to see a girl I’d been talking to and brought my roommate along to run interference so she and I could have some one-on-one time. Before long he gets obnoxiously drunk and proceeds to hit on the girl as I’m trying to talk to her, interrupting me and otherwise trying to divert her attention. Later when she asks me to drive her home he INSISTS on coming along and sitting in the middle of the front seat because he “gets carsick in the back” (obviously I got nowhere with the girl). The next day I asked him what happened and he outright said he didn’t think it was fair I was the only one with a shot at getting laid so he sabotaged me
“With friends like these…” right guys?
…who needs enemies?
Thanks for reminding me of the time I was in a rock club chatting with this absolutely stunning ex colleague, just my type, and we were on the 'so what are we doing after closing chat' she's stoking my leg etc. And then my mate came over, oblivious and blind drunk, and just kept shouting at me 'Why don't you like thrash!'... which was a conversation I'd had with him earlier. After about a minute of this she just got up and left. Not seen her since.
People in these stories: this sucks
Me still a virgin and never got close: why are these so reliable lol
Relatable*
@@FabioKun Nah I'd say they're reliable
Yeah, the "friend" at 2:48 would've caught that fade for that stunt
Haven’t had any of these situations happen to me personally, but I can safely say that I feel for all of these OPs. These are the sort of situation that just make me think, “what the fuck is wrong with people?”!
Well I have a story which actually happened this valentines day. I was practically in nothing waiting for my husband but his girl coworker calls him and he plays video games with her. She knows he is married but instead of having a passionate night with his wife he played video games with her out of pity for her. She asked him to play with him because the man she likes and has slept with her wasn't available.
Wait. Time out.
So your husband decides to go play video games with a girl co-worker instead of being with his wife *on Valentine’s Day?*
If I was in your shoes, I’d be having a *bit* of a dialogue with him about that. And that is putting it as gently as I possibly can.
Red flags anyone?
Just me?
Oh, well...
Nvm...
NO!!!
@@RepellentJeff dude same wth?
"She asked him to play with him because the man she likes and has slept with her wasn't available."
Girl have some respect and know your worth, he's cheating on you.
“No way CJ is gonna have a threesome before me.”- Chad Dad
If you're 60 and haven't had a threesome, I don't think it's gonna happen. Hell, I'm 47 and I haven't had one in over 20 years.
At age 16, a guy I had a crush on and I both happened to have a longer lunch break at school. Since we were allowed to leave the school premises, we decided to go to a pizza restaurant nearby. Earlier that day we had both confessed we had feelings for each other and this pizza lunch was sort of a "first official date". We sat down in the restaurant after ordering and we were having an interesting conversation when a guy I didn't particularly like that had been my classmate for 4 years walks in and spots us. He plops down right next to me without even asking if he can join us in the booth and says "cool, now I have some lunch company!", completely oblivious about what was going on. Both my crush and I were like WTF but neither one of us knew how to address the situation. The classmate also ordered a really strongly smelling combination of toppings on his pizza and lingered there with us until the lunch break ended and we had to go back to school. Although being a complete moodkiller, this incident didn't stop my crush and me from going out a second time. Now, 12 years later and still together, we often have a laugh about "the third wheel guy on the pizza date" :D
I had gone out to a goth club in LA with two other friends. I was feeling like crap after a rough break up and wanted to have fun. One of the friends had a habit of trying to steal the spotlight, regardless of person and situation. After a bit, I saw this cute trad goth guy - we make eye contact, dancing, making out, etc. This friend comes up and tries to kiss him, then me, (both me and the guy push her off) so we move over to a sitting area off to the side and make out. This bee(censor) told the security that he and I were having sex, so the guy and I got kicked out and talked about how I could go to his hotel since they already assumed we were doing the deed. Again, this woman comes up, grabs my arm and yells, " NO YOU CAN'T GO!!" After some incomprehensible yelling, I end up leaving trad goth guy and my friends and I drive off back to her house
Bummer, my story is only similar to yours in that it took place in an L.A. club. Three of my buddies and I went to some club and I'd finally gotten enough of a buzz to let myself actually dance. So I was dancing with this chick and made out a little. I was about to leave with her and tell my buddies to go back to base without me when one of my buddies said Ginger(he was a red head) had been kicked out of the club cause he threw up on the girl he was dancing with, and we couldn't find him. So I was cockblocked because I had to help find ginger's dumbass.
Forgive me, but what was stopping you from telling that bitch to kick rocks, and head back with him?
I hope you aren’t friends with her anymore. That would piss me off if that happened.
"Give me 20-25 minutes" rslash you got a lot to learn about kids dude 🤣🤣🤣
Teenagers barely understand to wait 20 minutes. A toddler definitely doesn't understand wait especially with a dirty bottom
Of all the ways I’ve been c*ckblocked or done it to myself I have a tie for the worse:
One was when I didn’t realize that during a pool party one of my female friends was literally throwing herself at me in a sexual way, but I just took it as horsing around because we all were horsing around in the pool and having a good time. It wasn’t until later when she was already over her crush on me that I found out lol.
And the other time I got C/B’ed badly was during a bonfire at the beach. I started making conversation with girl who was new to the friend group, mostly because I wanted to make sure she felt included. Being an awkward nerd I knew just how hard it was to get the ball rolling if someone else didn’t take the first step. We found out we shared interest in some of the same games, anime/manga, etc and just hit it off pretty well. Eventually because I was like one of the only dudes talking to her a lot we got to a point where we were joking and laughing and at some points even over sharing. I had planned to ask her for her number and make it known I was kind of interested in getting to know her more, BUT the mood was definitely brought down when one of the other guys was like “oh man, of course you got ‘yellow fever’, you’re into that anime sh*t, right?” Then he and some of the others in the group started joking about how I was looking for an anime waifu. Or making black and yellow jokes. I was then way too embarrassed to ask her for her number and I could kinda see she wasn’t smiling anymore. I planned to try asking her later in the night but she ended leaving with the friends she came with before I got the chance.
So not only were those guys racist, they cock blocked you? I'm so sorry bro
Take a wood from the bonfire and say "i am now looking for an anime fight scene"
@@bradleybarnett1469 yup. Looking back, those guys were just pure a-holes and I’m kinda glad I have no contact with most of them.
@@fjhatsu lol damn! Now I need someone to invent a time machine so I can go back 10 years ASAP, because that would have been a good come back ! XD
I can't believe how frustrated I feel after watching this video. I guess I like happy endings too much to suffer through a whole video of sad and infuriating stories. I'm looking forward to the next Malicious Compliance or Petty/Pro Revenge video.
The one with the dad fetching his son's friend was hilarious XD
Beaver dammed, holy crap, how have I never heard that one until today?
I was at a bar one night with a dude I used to hangout with and I really liked the bartender. She and I had been flirting back and forth all night, she gave me her number (which ended up torn up and put in a drink by…guess who) and we ended up staying an hour after close. She offers to take me home and just as I’m about to agree this dude, this guy, yells aggressively, “nah, it’s cool! I got us! Okay?!” And he stared at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. She looked at me with a face of “the fuck..?” And I apologized and left.
I got blocked by two friends (and roommates) for no reason one time. This was 1992 or so. I was at a club in a moderately sized Texas city (300,000 or so) with my roommates and met up with another group that wanted to drive down to the beach after the club closed. I'll mention here that the club was 50 miles from the small town I lived in. Since I drove to the club, I handed off my keys to one of my friends who worked at that club and told him that I would stay in the dorm (local college) with one of the girls in the group, and if I could not get past her RAs, then I would go sleep on the floor at Heidi's who lived in an on-campus apartment (same campus). She had told me a few days before that I could crash on her floor if I ever needed to.
The next day, my friend with my keys had classes at the same campus so he could bring my truck and we could ride home together. I'll also mention here that Heidi was kind of famous in our larger circle of friends for supposedly having a threesome with a couple of other friends in our circle. This was of no interest to me and my only plan was to drunkenly knock on her door and ask to crash. So, me and the beach group roll back into town at 5am or so and the girl I had planned on staying with in the dorms says that the RAs were cracking down and she didn't want to chance us getting caught. That's ok, I'll just walk across campus to Heidi's... only Heidi would not answer her door. I was stuck!
This was before anyone I knew had a cellphone and my house did not have a landline. There was no way I was going to wake my parents up with this. I was 21 at the time, but I was going through a fairly nasty divorce and had become sort of an unemployed vagabond. I had hair to the middle of my back and I was wearing a trench coat and military boots (that were recently bought). I ended up hitching 50 miles to my house, the first 15 or so walking across town in those new boots because I probably looked like trouble. I finally got picked up by some dude in an early 80s Impala with the steering column busted out and a screwdriver in the ignition. He did drive like 110 all the way to my house though.
It turns out that the reason Heidi would not answer the door was because my two moron friends tried to booty-call her at 2:30 am. They had pissed her off so much that when I came knocking, she thought it was them again. Oh well, I got a story out of it.
My husband and I have had a few times where something happens and we have to stop. Every time it was my fault, having ovarian cysts, they can get so big that sex would pop em and it would be terrible pain. They don’t get as big now, but I do feel em when they pop and there are a good amount of times where I’m in pain and just can’t do much.
I got beaverdamned by my cat once. She started making the "I'm gonna puke a hairball up on the bed" noise.
9:00 I always had a rule in my vehicle.. be a gentleman, women up front, or you can get your own ride. The fact that my vehicle was basically a 2-seater with kind of sort of seats behind the front seats also leveraged things.
Especially when my friend tricked me into picking up his booty call one time. I usually have lots of boxes of things in that space too, so his tall-self really had to cram back there. But the lady he wanted to get it on with was
1. Female.
2. Actually too large to fit in the back.
His fault.
I swear one of my fiance's coworkers is psychic and will message my fiance almost every time we are in the middle of the act. It is quite consistent. IDK how she does it.
[narrator's voice] "..then, years later, they found the hidden camera in their bedroom...."
@@OrontesRM lol
I finally found a channel on CZcams that I look forward for the daily post. I Enjoy the content man keep it up. Makes my drives seem a little shorter, put on rslash laugh and drive.
These sound like stories that would have ended, “then I beat the hell out of my friend.”
First time hearing Beaver Dammed😂😂
I love it when rSlash goes to the other end of the room to scream XD
The closest I’ve ever been to being blocked was when I didn’t realize I was on a date. I was 22 and on my first date, kind of a late bloomer in that regard. I’d met this guy when meeting a friend for lunch. I thought he was really cute and we started texting. After texting for a few weeks, he asked if I wanted to hang out. I said sure, not at all realizing that hanging out meant date. I didn’t realize it until have way through. I was wearing the oldest, dirtiest pair of jeans I have ever owned. Things were going well too. I hadn’t originally planned to hook up with him that day, but I wouldn’t have minded if it happened. My embarrassment ruined that though.
In contrast, when I met my now fiance at my friend's party, our friends planned out the logistics of us hooking up for us to ensure it would happen 😂 Clearly it worked out well.
Me and my girlfriend were long distance for a while, and we learned the hard way not to have "phone fun" in the evening and to keep it at night, because we both got beaverdammed THREE TIMES IN A ROW (both girls)
Once was when we were getting into it, my mom loudly knocks on the door and makes me jump nearly a foot. The whole time my mom was asking me what I want for supper my girlfriend was laughing hysterically in my headphones and it was hard to keep a straight face.
After catching our breath, we decided to keep going. Not even three minutes later my mom knocks again, reminding me to do my student loans or something, it was longer than the first conversation and finally quietly gestured that I was on the phone and she left.
We kinda chatted for a bit, the mood dipping down before giving it one last shot, and a couple minutes into it her DAD walks in... after that we decided to wait until night time lol
Triple combo spinkick beaverdammed
It would be fucking hilarious if that raid boss turned out to be the trigger for the Corrupted Blood incident.
When my husband and I first got married, we lived a couple of blocks from his older sister & it was like she had a "they're touching sensor" or something...
Every time we tried to hook up, she'd be knocking at the door.
It was like, Girl, go home .. we're newlyweds!!!!
Damn I miss her....
R.I.P. Kim ❤️
PLEASE do more of these! They are hilarious!
I think this is the earliest I've watched your videos love them
eh, never really had many issues where i've been cockblocked. anyone who got in the way i'd just invite them too. the more the merrier right?
this presents a problem, however, as the human body has a limited amount of openings.
@JayLeeBeanz like earrings?
@@sahar1213 uh huh…definitely earrings…
"No way he gets a 3some before I do" SENT ME. All the way upstairs. 🤣
“World of Warcraft bosses.” Poor girl she must have been like “What a chad”
Got everyone beat. Used to go hang out with one of my buddies at his "comedy nights". Hes fine, but the girl he hooked up with..and is still with..is a NIGHTMARE. Without fail, ANY time I start speaking to any women, she has to start spreading shit. Her favorite is calling me a "sexual predator". Not quietly either, she YELLS it across the bar, guaranteeing that EVERYONE hears this. And she isnt trying to pull a prank, she acts like its the absolute truth. Never mind the fact it has no basis in reality, ive been solo for YEARS by this point, but my friend always bugs me why I never go near a bar if shes there. He wants me to kiss and make up since they are practically married. He thinks its hilarious that most of Lauderdale think I am a sex offender. The result, been completely solitary for over a decade.
That is horrible.
Find better friends.
You should press charges, that is actually slander.
I listen to your videos when i sleep, thank you.
A fun, refreshing subreddit! We need these between all the Karens and Kevin stories. XD
Been a while since we've had any TREE LAW though! Tree laws please!
Love to see new topics being read.
I almost choked when you said beaver dammed. I've never heard that before. 😂
I would probably end my friends in that situation too! To quote the movie Mrs Winterbourne... "I want to hire her a good lawyer. One that specializes in, 'Sure I did it but can you blame me?' defense"
Hmm... My more embarrassing (emphasis on -assing) was getting really passionate with my girlfriend and clothing was almost gone, when my mother got home four hours early and found my untanned regions getting into position. Yeah... Nothing happened that night. However, that hot girl and I have been together ever since, and this incident was in 86.
Great video! Like always!
Great subreddit! My favorite is Choosing Beggars, but I like this one. 👍
Okay, the bondage interruption by a pooooop need reminds me of my first kid. Husband and I put her to bed and she was asleep so we decided to have some cuddle time. We were just getting started when my daughter yells for me and I tell her I’ll be there in a minute. In about 2 minutes my daughter yells “mommy are you coming yet?” My answer? “Not yet…”. We both got the giggles and I ended up getting up to walk her to the bathroom. I should have said “not today I guess”.
I had a "guy friend" who would talk shit or get judgey with all the guys I would go out on dates with or meet and would non stop call me while I was out on dates. I cut him out.
It’s my 22nd birthday today and I’ve been watching R/slash since my 20th. Love this fool ❤️
Love u rslash keep up the good content man
In college I was going to watching a movie with my crush (now husband) in his dorm room and a guy I didn't know liked me asked to come too... It was sooooo awkward. I brought it up with my crush the next day and asked for a do over and he quickly agreed to try again but this time keep our plans secret.
Moral of the Story - If you cannot get a score yourself, don't eff it up for someone else. otherwise, best of luck trying to find a new best friend once word gets out what you did and reason for it.
5:38 you sure your dad didnt blocking him cuz he cant even follow a damn train ?
Love this guy!!
Yey! More Ask-Reddit stories! 😄
During the party after my brother and sister--in-law's wedding, I was planning on asking one of the bridesmaids if she wanted to get dinner some time. Within five seconds of me saying hello, the minister who officiated the wedding walked over and started talking about "this sinfully permissive [said with a drawn-out S like he was half-snake] culture of today's youth" and "all the immorality the Left has foisted [again with a drawn-out S] upon us."
"And that's why I disemboweled her with a spoon"
Judge: "I'm not saying I agree... but I do understand"
Good Morning From Trinidad 🇹🇹. Love Your Videos r/slash. Keep safe all.
That's jelous dad... Had someone done that when I had my first and only 3-some if have been seriously pissed haha
It is funny how a lot the the ones who blocked someone because they liked one of them ultimately blocked themselves from ever having a chance! So in blocking the person they like that person doesn't see it that way and doesn't want any form the blocker.
The one with the guy who had a "best friend" crushing on the same girl was so worried about destroying his long time friendship as his "friend" drives a bulldozer threw it with his jealousy. chances are he didn't really notice her or want to be with her till he found out his friend was moving in and that is why he started saying crap about kicking his ass. "Friends" like that are why you don't need enemies...
I had a "friend" who clam jammed/cock blocked ALL her friends. She was the one every guy in our friend group wanted to date and she did date everyone of them at some point. She basically had a harem of boys wrapped around her finger which made it impossible for any of the girls in our group to date any of them. Even if you succeeded with breaking one of them of her "spell" she would just bat her eyes and make it seem like there was a chance and they would crawl back. My personal story of this was when I asked her if I could date one of her ex's thinking if I was strait with her maybe it would be different. She said sure and gave me some encouragement to do so. I waited till lunch to ask him out and saw her hanging around him more thinking that she was just talking me up to him but nope! Time came and I asked and I quote "Sorry, I'm hoping to get back together with friend" RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!!! Think she was a good friend who would tell him no? NOPE. She knew I was going to ask so she spent the day making him think they would get back together just to block me. They did get back together for three days before she dumped him again. I realized after that there was no way to break her spell and decided I would have to wait till I was out of high school to find someone that she didn't know... I met my currant SO right after high school and it turns out that he knew her from school since we had the same friends (Yet we never met in high school.) and he hated her because of how she would hurt his guy friends. He didn't know how she affected the girls in our group till meeting me but she is someone I didn't keep up with after school was done.
"THERES NO WAY IM LETTING HIM HAVE A THREESOME BEFORE ME" has me rolling 😂😂
Love u rslash keep up the good content man
most important, he never disappoints bro
I've got an experience that still bothers me to this day, TLDR included at the end.
When I was 18 my four roommates and I were throwing a small party and it was decided in advance that the we had to bring our own girl(s) to avoid cockblocking so I invited "Kayla" and she brought her friend "Sarah". Anyway, we're a few hours into the party when Kayla and Sarah start giving me the bedroom eyes and so I grabbed their hands and started walking to my bedroom.
I didn't even get past foreplay when two of my roommates just walked right into my room, sat down and started watching. I started telling them to get out but Kayla and Sarah weren't deterred by it so I uncomfortably continued. As if it wasn't already going terribly, I got performance anxiety since my two roommates invited themselves and were watching, laughing and making dirty jokes and comments not even six feet away.
I ended up finishing in minutes... I mean I could count the minutes on one hand. Then came the finishing blow, my roommates tried to slide their way into my bed and at that point I had never felt so defeated so I didn't really react. Sarah left and went to one of their rooms and Kayla stayed and made small talk until Sarah was done and they went home.
After the "party" the two roommates came and said "Sorry bro, no girl were free this weekend and you had two so we thought you wouldn't mind sharing." I felt so emasculated that I couldn't even be mad, I was just depressed thinking about how poorly I performed and the humiliation that came with it. Eight years later and I still feel anxiety when it comes to performance but I manage.
TL;DR: Two of my roommates cockblocked me so badly that eight years later, I'm still trying to get over the performance anxiety that it caused.
TLDR should be at the top. Now that I read the story, that really sucks. Pretty odd mentality on their part. I remember a friend mentioning he was cuddling some girl at a party, moved his hand down her body to discover hair, a head... some dude had snuck up and joined their cuddle.
All these answers are perfect defense for manslaughter. LoL the amount of restraint these people showed.
When I was in my early 20's a Buddy and me decided to head to the beach for the weekend. We were in a game room on the boardwalk shooting pool when in walked 2 girls and a really big guy. After a bit I decided to head to the jukebox to play some tunes. While I was making my selections one of the girls, slightly younger than me, very pretty and wearing a tiny black bikini came over to the juke box and we started talking. We hit it off and I really enjoyed talking with her. My friend started calling out to be saying that it was my turn. I tried to ignore him but he kept up at it until I relented and went back to the game. He told me, "What were you doing, did you see the size of the guy she was with?" About 10 minutes later the two girls left by themselves, they weren't even with him. The girl told me Sorry, I have to go and she left. I gave my buddy the death stare and he went "How was I supposed to know?" To make matters worse later that night he hooked up with a girl and he left me at the boardwalk for several hours while he had his afternoon delight.
Thanks for the vid rslash
Re: Kinky Potty training
Shoutout to the couples with kids trying to make more kids! I Salute your efforts!
i'm guessing, in the story about the woman calling the dude steven, that she was just being a troll. i've actually met some awful people who think doing that sort of shit to strangers is hilarious. i don't hang with them if i have a choice.
I was laughing out loud for a few minutes at the end of the 7th story
First time I've heard 'beaver dammed'. Wow
Same. Makes sense for it to be the girl equivalent, though
I’m so dense that I don’t have any story like that 🤣
"BEAVER DAMMED" LMFAOOO
I still remember when my friend got blocked. Let's just say a bunch of girls in a hot tub with no swimsuit and just him. Then 2 of our friends show up.
I'm not great at telling stories, but here we go. Maybe not as exciting as some, but it's a memory that's stuck with me.
My brother and I used to spend the weekend at this college that they offered to try classes to try and get you to go there. We went every year, but it was always to meet people and just do what teenagers do.
My parents always made me and my brother do a community service activity while we were there as a deal for paying for us to go. We always did the service ones together cause we were pretty close. However the "college classes" we took were different. one year we did the seatbelt safety team which was just a class about raising awareness to wear a seatbelt.
Well when we got to the class there were these two girls sitting alone that we saw right away and thought they were attractive so naturally we went and sat next to them. They ended up being sisters, the problem was that me and my brother both liked the same one. I like to call her (seatbelt Sam) I blank on her sister's name though 😐 We ended up hanging out with them most of the weekend. Until the last night, I had one of my "classes" and I saw Sam, she had a different class in the same building! I knew it was my moment to make a move or say something or anything. We started walking back I told her I liked her, and she said she felt the same and everything was working out! Just as we were about to head off for the night to our respective rooms a hug turned into us staring at each other and right as we were about to kiss her sister steps in pulls her away from me and says, "Woah I promised dad we wouldn't have boyfriends when we get back." Just came out of nowhere.
Well I knew I'd have another chance the next morning since she was in my building. This time we talked walked back as we did the day before. The difference with today though is We were walking back to pack up our stuff and go home. We admitted that we wanted to stay in touch, but she left her phone in her room, and I didn't have a cellphone so we traded numbers the old fashioned way. She wrote it on my arm, her sister found us shortly after, and my brother caught us to. When we were packing up, my brother asked if it was her number and I said yes, he then got super jealous and wiped his hand across my arm and smeared the number. I tried to remember it, but I couldn't and I never called her.
I've tried looking her up a few years later when Facebook became a thing, I have a picture from the seatbelt safety team as well from us. I don't know her last name though, so I could never find her I even dug deep in Facebook, I mean who knows she could've moved out of state even. I still think about it sometimes, it probably wouldn't have worked out, but dang it sucks.
If you're out there Sam, I'll never forget you. 🤣
My ex had a good co-worker/buddy who drank a lot. The two of them put away a lot of beer in the years we knew him. One weekend, their workplace hosted a day at a nearby beach. Some folks got rooms, others just came for the day. Their workplace had provided the food for a big cookout and everyone was either helping or playing in the water. There were about 15 of us with several families, including ours. At one point, my ex's buddy started flirting with two girls who were parked near where we were. He was manning the grill and was acting all cool. He was having a good ol' time when, as a joke, I yelled, "Honey! Have you seen the children?"
He had the blankest expression on his face, then, he turned red! He started to get angry at me, while, at the same time, trying to tell the girls I was joking. It was funny. I did walk over and tell the girls I was just messing with him. The look on his face, though, was gold!
Wasn’t a complete block, but a girl and I were going to get busy on my living room floor. I went to get a towel, and as I was coming back into the room I heard her give a mild scream. My Labrador puppy bit her on the ass.
I quickly put him in his crate, and then once I finished laughing got back to business.
Went to a Psychedelic party, met a girl who was very cute, her “sober” friend hit me with the pp slapper 9000. Needless to say my trip had ended abruptly.
7:30 As a mom, I can confirm. Had a very big laugh at this one!! XD
6:28 yooooooooo this dude is a true gold 😂
The most frustrating part of it all is that Cockblocking sucks a lot but is not illigal... LOL, so whenever happen I loose a date, and a "friend" at the same time...
Oh lawd, this is going to be good.😂
"There is no way CJ is having a threesome before I do!" < That was epic!