Is There No Hope for Love?: Dating Chronicles, Having High Expectations and Finding the ‘One’

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  • čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
  • In part one of our Valentine’s Day special, the sisters speak candidly about their worst dating experiences and the reality of finding a long-term partner in the ‘streets’ of the current climate.
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    TIMESTAMPS:
    00:00 Welcome Sisters + Housekeeping
    05:20 Ding Ding Dilemma: Leaving My 4 Year Situationship
    24:32 Dating Storytimes, Ex’s & Immaturity
    37:38 Having Higher Exceptions for Relationships, Misogyny
    54:37 Assets, Commitment & Protecting Ourselves as Women
    01:07:09 Valentines Day Celebrations for You, Them & Your Sisters
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Komentáře • 75

  • @ayannamarie123
    @ayannamarie123 Před rokem +111

    surprisingly I don't agree with the dilemma answer. Ive heard somewhere recently that the "closure conversation" is just a way to put everything on the table and many times the person needing closure is looking for a reason to reengage and hoping the other party will say something that will turn the situation around. I think she should stand firm in her decision to move on. Don't give that man another chance to say he's not interested and waste another 4 more years of your life.

    • @oshinofalakoju5749
      @oshinofalakoju5749 Před rokem +23

      AGREEEDDD!!! Let that man go. If you really want to apologize it should be a clean break and not an invitation to un-pause an already finished situation. I've also learned that closure doesn't exist, it's a personal choice to move on. Loneliness will make anything seem better than what it really was. I pray that Lawyer sis takes a deep breath and makes it to at least 8 months of singleness because the guilt she's feeling is short lived.

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Před rokem +10

      Appreciate your comment. Just a heads up, we clarified this exact position a little further into the dilemma once we heard the time frame. Initially hadn't heard 4 years - upon hearing, it was pretty straightforward for us that we thought she should move on. Thanks for sharing! ✨

    • @oshinofalakoju5749
      @oshinofalakoju5749 Před rokem +4

      @@tomysisters Yes, I watched the whole thing and was very happy to see that Courtney changed her initial stance after understanding what the dilemma said! The comments we made were made earlier on in the video before you clarified.

  • @YouCanCallMeChrys
    @YouCanCallMeChrys Před rokem +13

    Someone once said "Don't get married to someone you wouldn't want to go into business with" and that has been so helpful to me. It really is business/legal.

  • @PT-zz9ks
    @PT-zz9ks Před rokem +24

    4 years!? I had to replay that part to hear correctly. You need to be your number one priority right now. Stop caring about him and his "trauma", save yourself and next time about 3 years and 9 months sooner. You guys do not and have never wanted the same thing. That's a simple incompatability and a waste of time. Pray and work to get yourself back to a healed place. Good luck
    Edit: Okay Courtney clocked it. Thank you! Stop the madness

  • @userysl
    @userysl Před rokem +13

    When it comes to struggle love, both parties have usually low self-esteem & are unaware of what their non-negotiables are. I believe struggle love lacks maturity because you are only mature once you have a strong sense of self & self-awareness.

  • @SuperBjagger
    @SuperBjagger Před rokem +13

    Renné 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣That ending cracked me up "look at you, horny devil " I CAN'T 🤣🤣🤣

  • @nnennaitanyi8156
    @nnennaitanyi8156 Před rokem +8

    When Courtney shouted "4 years", I almost burst out laughing in my office. I had to say to myself, "Okay, take deep breaths, breathe in, breathe out".

  • @DSN430
    @DSN430 Před rokem +25

    I realized how much hope I've lost in a conversation with a friend on Tuesday, realized how bad it is when I told my sister on Wednesday and saw her reaction, prayed about it Thursday, Saturday I was recommended Sarah Jakes Roberts Hungry for Hope sermon and now you guys posted this... I think God is speaking...

  • @kadeijadalrymple137
    @kadeijadalrymple137 Před rokem +13

    He's a villain in your story 😂😂

  • @idaliarice4773
    @idaliarice4773 Před rokem +6

    Regarding the ding ding ding…. Been there… hoping and praying that he would commit… but what happens is a soul tie is formed and hard to break

  • @danisacademiccorner4493
    @danisacademiccorner4493 Před rokem +32

    When Courtney gave her initial advice , I said sis did we read the same thing 😅, luckily she processed it later and was like waaaait I retract 😅

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Před rokem +4

      Had to run up the four years again! 😂

  • @sweetandsimple.
    @sweetandsimple. Před rokem +22

    I promise you literally any thought or feeling I have yall LITERALLY drop a video on it within a 2 week span. Stay out of my head! LOL Love you girls! 🙏🏾

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Před rokem

      Haha, it must be fate! Love you - thank you for sticking by us ❤

  • @KayAlexandria283
    @KayAlexandria283 Před rokem +18

    LOL! You’re totally fine about America, you’re not wrong 😂. I haven’t dated a whole lot in my lifetime but I have encountered some ✨eccentric✨ characters in my days in college to the point where I couldn’t even make guy friends without something odd happening 95% of the time, and one guy was borderline stalkerish. 😅
    And to our good sis on your dilemma- girl! I have been there. I had a very terrible situationship in college and the withdrawals are totally normal, and so is the guilt. You just have to give it time and keep in mind why this is the best decision for you, because four years is a long time to be seeing someone without a commitment. You definitely deserve someone who can give you more without a shadow of a doubt that you’re who they want, because when that man’s heart is in it, he finds a way to make it work no matter what obstacles he has to face.
    Much love sisters! ♥️

  • @isiomaononye
    @isiomaononye Před rokem +7

    It’s always good to have expectations. When you choose to accept dating anyone just for the sake of “company” it’s empty. When you know who you are and what you want, I believe that it’s worth it to be with someone that is not just a like-mind but someone who you can build and grow with. But I’m def not an expert in this department…😂

  • @samsam_5
    @samsam_5 Před rokem +8

    I haven’t even finished the podcast but I had to come on here just for 16:55 when Courtney realized she didn’t hear 4 years at the beginning of the dilemma😂😂 I was in the same situation for almost 4 years and I still miss him after cutting him off 5 months ago

  • @lacklandcrystal
    @lacklandcrystal Před rokem +12

    Yes. A link for the USA. Take all of my coin. I am ordering soon.

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Před rokem

      We love to hear it! Hope you enjoy it ❤

  • @bruceneriet5800
    @bruceneriet5800 Před rokem +1

    I have never been in a situationship that lasted for 6 months, and resulted in us dating long term, most relationship conversation usually happen really soon after meeting the guy. If he drags it on or comes with excuses about not being ready for a relationship, he probably wont be ready going into a relationship with you. I take that confusion as a sign

  • @Thesilentvoice...
    @Thesilentvoice... Před rokem +10

    For the dilemma, I'd say that the girl should commit to her choice of leaving. Getting closure may get the guy to ''pretend'' to change but not really change actively. It may hurt because she invested so much time and has memories, but she will get a better chance of getting someone better that wants a relationship than sticking with what she knows. It may take time but it's better than staying with the same person who doesn't take her as a girlfriend in those 4 years.

  • @tiffmoore8831
    @tiffmoore8831 Před rokem +7

    The moment when Courtney went off starting around the 46/47 minute mark was a small sermon. She said nothing but truths -- we all heard you loud and clear ...or at least I did.

  • @iracundasgirl998
    @iracundasgirl998 Před rokem +2

    Sister said YOU ARE CONFUSED 😂😂😂 53:07

  • @nhmdlamini3138
    @nhmdlamini3138 Před rokem +2

    From the beginning to end, this episode was just laughs😂. Thank you Sisters for such an excellent word.

  • @gloriad9932
    @gloriad9932 Před rokem +7

    I particularly loved this end bit, y'all are such a joy!

  • @gloriakanani1026
    @gloriakanani1026 Před rokem

    Another beautiful episode ❤️

  • @bryanairene5183
    @bryanairene5183 Před rokem +2

    I am so enjoying this as I’m kiking with y’all on my solo date! 😄Love the content! Y’all haven’t missed yett

  • @sydneymichelle1609
    @sydneymichelle1609 Před rokem +1

    So excited for the book drop 💙 I been waitinggg for the US link

  • @kadeijadalrymple137
    @kadeijadalrymple137 Před rokem +6

    Dropping gems as per usual 👌

  • @siphokazimagaya9113
    @siphokazimagaya9113 Před rokem +7

    Hi sisters, I just discovered your chanel and I love it so much speaks to me in many ways. I can imagine you with Mpoomy Ledwaba (wisdom & wellness) love from South Africa ♥️

  • @cycyj847
    @cycyj847 Před rokem

    I wasn't in agreement with your first suggestion, but now that you've changed your mind; that's how I was thinking.

  • @tyraali6030
    @tyraali6030 Před rokem +2

    27:53 lmao, the way courtney said ‘so we anticipate marriage’ 😂 amen

  • @OL_sonder
    @OL_sonder Před rokem

    Happy Vday sisters ❤❤❤❤

  • @phumzilemdluli1830
    @phumzilemdluli1830 Před rokem

    love it

  • @Room-rc7rz
    @Room-rc7rz Před rokem +2

    Amen!!! Hallelujah!!!

  • @aud9720
    @aud9720 Před rokem +2

    It’s the subtle shade😂😂😂👏

  • @leahchitundu2448
    @leahchitundu2448 Před rokem

    Amazing topic! You both look fantastic. Can the book also be made available in Zambia 🇿🇲 😍 it would be fantastic 💃💃💃

  • @hardesholadesh3298
    @hardesholadesh3298 Před rokem +4

    I too had been in a situationship for 4 years I finally left when he got a gf😅

  • @ena2871
    @ena2871 Před rokem +5

    This is such a wholesome episode. Thanks, sisters 💞

  • @kehindealonge5446
    @kehindealonge5446 Před rokem

    Renee is looking so beautiful 😍
    Love you girls🤭😚

  • @leah38521
    @leah38521 Před rokem

    Omds I just realised that you guys have a blog🤸‍♂🤸‍♂🤸‍♂

  • @pajlc5995
    @pajlc5995 Před rokem +4

    Hello sisters! I would love to hear your thoughts on open, polyamorous, or polygamous relationships. I've been seeing them quite a lot on my tiktok fyp, and it piqued my interest. I don't know if you've already tackled it before though.
    Anyway, you both are amazing as always 😊

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Před rokem +2

      Great suggestion! We've got this in the bag. Thank you for suggesting ❤

  • @nompilomazibuko4615
    @nompilomazibuko4615 Před rokem

    I'm so glad we back tracke because shuuuuu! 😅😅😅 There is no way!

  • @thatcurldom
    @thatcurldom Před rokem

    I’m currently in one and I’m figuring it out 😭

  • @Just_rahimm
    @Just_rahimm Před rokem +1

    We want a link in EU too😩

  • @carmenplaatjies5183
    @carmenplaatjies5183 Před rokem +1

    Usher, Ludacris and Lil jon😌

  • @WHATEVERKEKESAYS
    @WHATEVERKEKESAYS Před rokem +1

    DID CD BOATENG JUST SAY LORD OF THE RINGS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀 1:01:41

  • @meg.marjorie
    @meg.marjorie Před rokem +10

    Courtney cooked on the marriage part! Its sad how the internet is degrading marriage. If you want to commit to someone why not do it legally?

  • @nompilomazibuko4615
    @nompilomazibuko4615 Před rokem +2

    I love me some Courtney but I fear we did not read the same dilemma 🙆🏽‍♀️😅

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Před rokem

      😂 Clocked it a little later on in the episode 😂

  • @amandamakhathini8229
    @amandamakhathini8229 Před rokem +3

    A link for SA ke sana ❤😂

  • @amahlemakhaye3315
    @amahlemakhaye3315 Před rokem +5

    Aside from the QUALITY content y’all feed us week after week, I genuinely enjoy your personalities so much 😂🫶🏽

  • @Thedesertflower2222
    @Thedesertflower2222 Před rokem +5

    I genuinely love hearing both of these ladies talking, but I feel like I want to hear Rene a bit more. In my opinion, I feel like Courtney is talking for the majority of the time.

    • @oshinofalakoju5749
      @oshinofalakoju5749 Před rokem +8

      I've felt like this before too but regardless, I think they balance each other. When Rene speaks she always speaks with wisdom and holds her own. This is common in podcasts/friendships because everything won't always be 50/50 but it's clear that Courtney still values what Rene says, which makes me happy. I love their dynamic!

  • @ntokozoskhosana6322
    @ntokozoskhosana6322 Před rokem

    Did they say they coming so South Africa?😭🇿🇦🔥❤️

  • @robiemwita
    @robiemwita Před rokem

    @7:44 - 7:55 Comedy💀💀

  • @thetakeoutmenu
    @thetakeoutmenu Před rokem

    Sings* cuz you ain’t got no friends 😩😂😂😂😂

  • @feyicoker8686
    @feyicoker8686 Před rokem

    Lool at I lost my virginity shortly after becoming a Christian

  • @Mary-rp2re
    @Mary-rp2re Před rokem +11

    Lmao 4 weeks is too much for me without exclusivity and talks of marriage maybe it’s cuz I’m Muslim but 4 years that crazy lol I’m sorry but sis was a placeholder for the ex I wish her healing ❤️‍🩹

    • @userysl
      @userysl Před rokem +2

      How soon do you expect to talk about marriage when meeting someone new? (I’m a Christian so I’d appreciate your response)

    • @Mary-rp2re
      @Mary-rp2re Před rokem +1

      @@userysl A man has to come with the intention of finding a spouse in order to even engage with me, if he’s not a marriage minded man I think it’s a waste of time to speak to him and once we do start the courting stage, within the first month conversations about marriage need to have happened, not saying he’s got to propose but he needs to make his intention of taking things seriously clear, by the 3 month mark, max 6 months we need to decide how we want to approach our families and create a timeline for when we want to start getting ready to get married and have what’s called a “soo donis” in my culture which is him coming to your family to ask for your hand and then having the nikkah which is the Islamic marriage ceremony then a wedding, my opinion is all of this should take less than 1 year from the time you begin speaking to the time you get married. Us Women also need to keep their feelings out of it until things are serious and focus on collecting as much information about this man as possible and then deciding if this is someone worth our time, once feelings are involved people start to make excuses for what’s inexcusable and what we accept at the beginning is what we’ll continue to get for the rest of our lives don’t compromise of the things you know you want, love isn’t anything but a chemical reaction in our brains lol can’t get married on that alone. Hope this helps love & best of luck 🤗

  • @Patience229
    @Patience229 Před rokem

    Can’t wait for you guys to get to SA 🥲