"We Know Too Much About Each Other"
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
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[CHAPTERS]
0:00 - Do you like the Introduction?
1:28 - Is the video good so far? This is Part One
2:54 - but how do YOU feel about this? Part Two btw
5:06 - Be careful about what you share in the comments below!
7:57- Share the code with everyone you know just kidding haha
9:51 - You good? Still enjoying? Even with the topic change?
11:49 - Oversharing is Overrated, Like for a tbh
16:09 - Do you agree with my tiktok do’s and don’ts? let me know in th
19:16 - Sharing my Final Thoughts
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#commentary - Komedie
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One time someone emailed my husband and told him that he found some of his info, I think it was a password/username on the deep web. He said he didn’t want money or anything at all, he was just helping out. And it was true, never heard from him again. Maybe he is now your sponsor.
Also how dare you bait us with a cute kitty.
Tumblr is actually the winner when it comes to oversharing. More anonymous than other platforms and the user base and culture is almost universally unhinged.
The anonymity definitely makes it better though, especially if they are minors. I feel like putting a face to a story (especially) that could involve other people makes it much more unhinged than just writing a story
yeah tumblr definitely wins the oversharing, but everyone just accepts it, it's part of the ecosystem, how else are we gonna get unhinged stories or memes? love it there, 10/10 hellsite
Yeah but when I go on tumblr I know what I'm signing up for and like its from an account with a whacky username and the profile picture is a meme
I was thinking the same. Like the twitter stuff he showed was more than tame in comparison to the stuff I read on tumblr only yesterday. But that is also the exact reason why I'm on tumblr.
As soon as there's a name or a face connected, as it often is on twitter or tiktok, the same stuff I appreciate on tumblr becomes very uncomfortable to read or watch though.
Yep. I’m actually writing a research paper for grad school about how tumblr exists as an archive for the authentic self, particularly among lgbtq members of gen z, and the anonymity (and the shitposts/memes/etc) is part of what makes it so effective as a platform
I prefer saying "batman could not get this information out of me"
my personal fav is “no amount of cia torture could make me say this”
Personally I like “you couldn’t Guantanamo Bay this out of me”
Jigsaw couldn't get me to do some of this shit
Not even the Avengers could get this information out of me.
Someone filming me without my consent/ when I don't know they're filming and uploading it on social media is quite literally one of my worst nightmares. When I was in high school and a guy filmed my ass while I was coming off the bus and uploaded it to social media and I have been paranoid about it happening again, or someone filming me doing something "weird" or "cringy" and shaming me for it online, ever since.
That's fucking disgusting I'm so sorry someone did that to you. People really have no idea the effect cameras and social media has to a person's wellbeing and mental health
According to a state marshall in Connecticut with whom I am familiar, recording strangers in public (especially without merit) is illegal.
that is so incredibly gross of him. im so sorry you had to experience that
The internet has always been so horrible about putting "weird" people on display. Does anyone else remember the whole peopleofwalmart genre of websites and facebook pages
I remember! That was wild.
What was that about?
@@twiggledowntown3564 People would take candids of other Walmart customers dressed “unconventionally” (e.g. often fat people in four-sizes-too-small clothing, men with about ten rifles strapped to their backs) or looking ugly and upload them to the internet. For most of the photos, it was obvious it was just people who left their home in an emergency and threw whatever clothing available on, but the trend was mostly for lower middle-class internet users to go “Walmart is for white trash rednecks 🤣👉”
@@twiggledowntown3564 they would post “cringe” strangers for people to laugh at
@@twiggledowntown3564 Basically about mocking the "gross poors" in supermarkets
This reminds me of a video I saw on Twitter where someone filmed a person pacing around in their apartment, and somehow did not seem to think that might be an invasion of privacy? Filming someone inside their own home when they think they're alone?
wow that is next fucking level. filming someone in public is already shitty but their own home? wtf
Rear Window (1954!) gets more relevant every passing day.
The montage of long-haired Jesus is exactly what I was picturing
Or fin the human
That’s why they crucified him
@@rVnsunshine Seems like Jesus died for his own sins as well
Jesus didnt have long hair tho the image they made of him is just something that fit the art standards back then and they kept it going ever since 💀 man did not look like that
oversharing to me can mean 4 things:
1. sharing, but with shame (internal or assumed)
2. sharing reflexively while currently in crisis mode
3. sharing personal info to strangers that can potentially put you in danger
4. sharing info that is not yours to share (yeah, don't film strangers in public!)
This is a better definition than how I usually see which is just "I didn't want to know this".
I like your category breakdown, esp bc #2 is a kind way to bring up something that's often shamed.
yeah, there is a lot of stuff that can be very unhealthy to disclose too much of to the public. dodie has talked about that. people loved how open and honest she was, but they had to stop because it was making their mental health even worse. she has much healthier boundaries now and most people are understanding
One of the weirdest "trends" of filming strangers for clout I've seen is people recording someone loudly farting in a public bathroom, that stuff feels borderline illegal
Here in Austria, filming someone or taking a picture of someone without their consent is luckily illegal. If it isn't the case in the USA, I honestly don't even know anymore about what the hell is going on over there with the extend of their "freedom".
@@Nikola_Mit varies incredibly by state and city but the general consensus is that pictures and video in open public areas are allowed to contain other people without their consent. You absolutely can not record when they have an expectation of privacy like bathrooms or private spaces. Or if your targeting a specific person in public repeatedly they can intervene. Are you not allowed to take pictures in public in Austria? I’m not really sure how that’d work it be super tricky to take photos in public. We’re definitely not particularly free though, that whole freedom thing was mostly about freedom from the British but they’ve been riding that out about 200 years too long lol
@@monhi64 What you've described is also the case here. Public pictures are allowed, just not pictures of people who didn't agree to it.
Weird yeah.. but illegal for something that doesn’t show anyone’s face, voice, or give away information? Excessive
how the shit do they know a person is about to fart... do they have a fart radar? do they just have their phone for days at a time in public restrooms, recording just in case??
The issue is that social media makes me feel ashamed of literally every action I make in a social situation. It's always the tik toks/reels complaining about "men who do this..." "Women who do that..." And when I look at the comments there's like tens of thousands of people agreeing with whatever the video says, and if it's something I do I feel insecure, like "wow now I know that there's people who will think less of me if when I do this huh 😀". It makes me not want to share anything ever.
I find it best to not even look at comments on videos like that. People that matter in your life aren’t gonna judge you on simple stupid things like that so don’t even worry about the tiktok crowd.
Everyone was never going to like you anyway. There's always gonna be people who don't like you, for one reason or another (or no reason, that happens too). It's fine.
Trying to be liked by everyone is a fools errand.
I mean, that's your own fault for using TikTok, lol 😂
i struggle with this kind of thing too, and its frustrating because people tell you "it doesn't matter what other people think" and "just stop caring" as if it's that easy. the need to be Liked and Accepted by literally every single person I meet is hardwired into my brain, and if it was as simple as "stop caring" i would have done it a decade ago.
@@weeaboh maybe try a different approach? The ideal thing would be to deconstruct that need to be liked by even the most irrelevant person, but if you can't do that right now (it's SUPER hard, I'm not judging), maybe switch things up. Instead of "I should turn off the caring part of my brain", try to remind yourself of the actual impact this is gonna have in your life. You inconvenienced someone once. You were cringe. You said something someone else disagrees wholeheartedly. What now? What's the worse that COULD happen, what's the BEST scenario, and what will most like ly happen? Like you're actually trying to teach your brain how to better deal with it, instead of fighting it and resenting it, and instead of succumbing to it. After all, your brain was very underdeveloped when it learned how to protect you, and sometimes you need to revise some things while still recognizing the brain did its best with what it had at the time.
In the vein of your rules for tiktok, there's one account that gets cross shared onto tumblr occasionally, of a dad whose daughter kept mixing up words ("lesbian" instead of "lasagna", "douche" instead of "duke", that kind of stuff) but she's clearly a kid, and he makes a point of only ever filming himself and his reactions, so we only hear her voice, and I think those kind of boundaries are absolutely vital, especially as kids are getting online younger and younger.
I've seen several parents film tiktoks with their kids in that way and honestly I love it. It's such an easy way to keep them private
lesbian lasagna 💀
Honestly I think filming in a gym is never good, even if background people aren’t the focus people just want to work out without worrying about if someone is recording their workout for posterity in the background of some TikTok video.
also a lot of the people recording 'cringe' or 'weird' people are autistic people or people having meltdowns and it makes me sad
the idea of "anything for clout" is not new, but the generation coming into adulthood after losing prime years of socialization has lead to people seeing each other as "potential entertainment" and not actual human beings
yeah I see a crazy stark difference between older and younger (not necessarily youngest, I’m talking like mid teens) gen z and I seriously think it’s down to tiktok and the pandemic. not solely, of course, but I think they play a huge role especially in combination with each other. I didn’t realise until recently just how different I felt from people who are only like 5 years younger than me. yeah we’re gonna have different interests and be at different stages of life, but damn, _I_ don’t remember ever having that mentality at 16. but when I was 16 tiktok was musically and people saw their friends every day.
@Quiche Completely agree. I work as a peer tutor at my college, so I interact with a lot of younger students, and when I tell you last year's first years (high school class of 2021) were CONCERNING. I had a girl who told me way too many details about her personal life during tutoring sessions. We had another first year anonymously post a sexually explicit comment about one of our tutors on instagram, including said tutor's full name. I'm one of a handful of people who knows the identity of the culprit, and it's just really difficult to move past it even though I want to give them the chance to learn and grow because it was just so shocking to me that anyone thought that was appropriate to post. So many conversations were had last fall about how some of the things y'all comment to strangers on tiktok are absolutely not okay to say to your classmates in person. The current first years are definitely a bit better but still have a noticeably warped sense of irl social norms and boundaries compared to the juniors and seniors.
Yeah, I’m a uni instructor and my partner is a hs teacher and 95% of the students are great but there’s a small amount of them who are just really socially inept. Not in that they have a mental illness or are on the spectrum or are having a hard time at home (all understandable) but they just like…don’t understand basic social cues or situations and what’s acceptable. Like it’s almost like they have no understanding that other people exist and are rude and don’t realize it. It’s hard to describe if you haven’t seen it but it was definitely due to lockdown and social media during those years.
I think considerations should also be taken to people who are diagnosed as autistic and have trouble knowing about boundaries and social cues. Like, I get confused about what I am supposed to say especially when people ask a question and I am just answering
To put it simply for some neurotypicals, saying the truthful and blunt answer to "how are you?" in an office setting is oversharing. Saying "I'm good" is just plain, 'ol sharing.
@@satyre_1 it's weird because like they're asking how you are but they don't want to know how you are it doesn't make sense to me I wish people would just say what they mean, you know?
@@chattychatotchannel agreed, i think it's just a thing to say if you want to be polite or somethin
@@thelocalnecromancer1224 At the very least I wish it wasn't "normal" to ask a question if the answer doesn't matter. If you want to be socially polite just say something nice and polite.
@@satyre_1 Except sometimes they do?
Like, if it's someone close to you, you're supposed to answer honestly (or your doctor, but that's different), and if it's a stranger, you don't.
But how do we even know how close we're supposed to be?
Is my neighbor my best friend or a stranger? Those are very real questions.
I just don't give a real answer then because it's the safest bet, but you can see how it's complicated, because of all the thousands of tiny rules that govern every human interaction.
It's so complicated and confusing.
And that's why we're always so tired.
not so fun fact: my mom got filmed when we were out once cause she almost got bit by a dog who was tied, got scared, and swore in front of a kid. The parents got mad at her for swearing and she was overwhelmed and upset so they started filming her cause apparently that was also their dog?. I tried asking them to stop filming, but it didn't work so we went inside a store for a while so they would leave. Long Story short: I really hope to god they didn't upload it somewhere, cause I feel like the situation could have been misunderstood and my mom would be labeled as a Karen.
Those kinds of situations are things i think about when it comes to ppl being filmed in public. There are so many situations that can easily be taken out of context and shared online and Im sure that that has happenned. I see so many things online of "bad" ppl being filmed and i think about how there could easily be context we're missing that makes the person filiming the asshole and not the "bad" person being filmed. But ppl make assumptions and easily jump to shame the person they cant actually be sure is totally in the wrong.
4:54 wait a second… Samson literally has his strength bc he had never cut his hair
I've always used the term 'oversharing' as "I didn't really want to hear that, and I wish you kept that to yourself" It's a personal concept and its different depending on the person. Also, I don't see how you could ever claim someone is oversharing on a prompt like "show us your worst" lmao, if you ask for your food well done you can't complain when there's scorch marks on it
Sharing=what you would share with your mother, your cousins and your new neighbor. Oversharing=information that may make you feel better after sharing, but makes the listener uncomfortable, anxious, confused, etc. Good video again. Peace Out.
so wtf is the information youd share with a close friend or partner
I think boundary-setting is important and it can be tricky because something might make someone uncomfortable, but they feel the social pressure to "be a good sport" and go along with it. I feel like that happens really often when someone is saying something racist or sexist or otherwise bigoted, but then calling it out might make someone else seem "overly sensitive" and so there's the pressure to just laugh along and pretend it's okay.
There is a vast gap between those two lmao. Your terms barely define anything.
as an autistic person who has problems w oversharing this literally did not help at all...my problem is i have no idea how to tell what is going to make the other person uncomfortable, especially bc different people have different comfort levels.
@theMyofMy it's sth you dont put online. i suspect OP is talking about what you talk about on the internet
10:18 I have moderate to severe Tourette Syndrome, and people record me a lot without my permission because they deem my tics entertaining. Having TS is like stepping out of your house in the 1600s with a visible genetic difference/disability but instead of a lady wearing a hoop skirt gawking at you and clutching her purse, she's wearing spandex capris, a neon pink tank top and is recording you with her iPhone 13 Pro Max with a case that says "live laugh, love, and coffee", narrating the video by saying 'you sound like a bird!' I have been recorded several times at work and outside of work - I feel like I am stepping into a freak show exhibit every time I dare integrate myself in society. Don't record strangers in public!
re: Jesus having long hair, I did some googling out of curiosity and apparently there are some Christians who vehemently reject the conventional depiction of Jesus with long hair and are very very mad about it for all the reasons you’d expect
my main things about filming people is 1. you probably dont have their consent and 2. PROTECTED IDENTITIES!! There are so many people, for example abuse victims, that have to live with protected identities because its not safe for them. Filming people without their knowledge can very well put them in danger
"Nature itself teachs us that its a shame for men to have long hair"
Lions ....
I actually said the first one was oversharing too! It did not change a thing for me when you changed it to the other mother, though I did laugh at you posting it on Twitter. Tbh, as an autistic person I feel like I literally do not know when I'm oversharing or not, which is why I said the first thing was oversharing to be safe, since nothing prompted it. But to be honest I was not sure of my answer and I never am! It's definitely hard and I think being autistic definitely plays into it being hard. Social norms are confusing!!!
Likewise! I never know what is sharing and what is oversharing and it causes me so much anxiety in social interactions. 😅
i also said it was over sharing as it was unprompted!! lines are different for everyone
I super relate to not knowing when I’m over sharing 😅
opposite. neither seem like overshaeing.
@@Man-ej6uvyeah theyre strange out of context but neither of those are like. overshares
I live by the mantra that information is power, if I dont want my worst enemy knowing it about me then I probably don't want most internet strangers knowing it about me.
I'm actually very glad that in my country, filming or photographing people without their permission is against the law. I got told so often in school how I'm never allowed to film people in public, because aside from it being very rude it is also illegal.
Seeing people being filmed against their will on tiktok has been very appalling to me and I'm glad you pointed it out, because it seems to me like it is often rather encouraged than frowned upon.
No because oversharing and being honest about the things I like has changed my life. For years I kinda pushed down my interests out of fear that those around me would think I was kind of weird. But allowing myself to share openly what I like has resulted in me feeling far more like myself than ever before. And, because I’m being so honest with those around me, I’ve been able to find the people that really get me and like what I like. Anyways, all this to say oversharing is great
This was a good discussion, and I agree with you. At the height of the “Karen” boom, I pretty much stopped watching those videos. While several exposed people holding others under their thumb and / or protected the people filming…some gave me the sense that the “Karen” was purposely wound up, possibly with the knowledge they were under major mental duress.
I saw an older lady having a meltdown in a busy city area recently, and it really struck me as a result of being confused and irritable from dementia.
All I could think is please don’t let this woman being miserable and confused be the next Karen video out of context.
The idea of trauma dumping has quite literally ruined my life because I feel like vulnerability has been discouraged by the internet. No one can even explain at what point vulnerability is trauma dumping. As an autistic person I have just completely bypassed being vulnerable as to escape accusations of trauma dumping. I feel like I can’t express negative emotions. These types of ideas about over sharing has left the online space and is impacting lives. It’s literally the same patriarchal ideas of men being unable to express vulnerability but repackaged for everyone.
If it helps I've usually drawn the distinction of trauma dumping vs vulnerability based on consent.
My girlfriend is also autistic and we had to negotiate some boundaries around her just dropping some really emotionally charged, sometimes very long and involved stuff on me out of nowhere, regardless of what my headspace is and whether I can handle that emotional weight. That's trauma dumping.
When it becomes vulnerability is when we go along with our negotiated boundaries of asking if the other is in a good place to talk about some heavy shit and of course since we both value each other if we have the emotional bandwidth we listen and try to help, but if our own lives are too much to deal with at the moment we say "hey I'm sorry can we talk about this later I'm buried under my own shit right now" and come back to it when we are both ready. That's a big part of how we stay emotionally vulnerable with each other without trauma dumping
i know this video is mostly abt online oversharing but i think this is still relevant lol - a big part of the conversation that is missing ime is the audience. whether something is oversharing can totally depend on who you're saying it to. for example, telling a friend about a rough thing happening in your life is pretty standard and i dont think many ppl would count that as oversharing, but telling a random stranger probably would be oversharing. this kinda connects to online stuff too bc a lot of ppl that post oversharing kinda content only expect their friends to see it, and it just happens to blow up so more ppl see it. obviously thats not the case for everyone but i think its definiteky part of it
okay but what does it say about me when my reaction to duncan saying his first crush was the other mother was just “yeah still just sharing facts 🙂”
Not the worst thing i've heard, still a valid "hear me out" moment
Lol, it didn’t phase me either. I think the bar is a lot higher for an “overshare” these days
That said, I think Miss Frizzle is a better choice
Lilos older sister for me
same lmao weirdest thing about it to me was just confronting that Coraline came out long enough ago to provide a "first childhood crush" moment for someone in their 20s
To me healthy sharing is when the person I'm sharing with has 1) the context required to understand not only what I'm explicitly saying but also the nuances/undertones, and 2) a relationship with me where they would be comfortable openly voicing their boundaries and comfort with the topic.
Im not going to tell my coworkers about my past traumas because it'll be coming out of nowhere and they won't be comfortable enough to say woah dude dial it back. But I can have that conversation with family or my SO because they'll say hey I'm not in the space to have this conversation if they aren't comfortable.
As a Tumblr veteran, everything feels like exactly the same as 2012-2014 tumblr and yet somehow on way bigger proportions. Some of the things people say with their faces and names attached to it nowadays are baffling in the sense that I would only see things like that being shared with the utmost anonymity. I don't think the -oversharing- is the problem, people have been weird and talking about it since the first priest took the first confession, I guarantee. The problem is how quick we are to plaster our weirdness all over our faces, our names, our reputations. "The wise man at the nudist beach covers not his privates but his face" and all that.
personally, "oversharing" irl has helped me gain more confidence. it's a way to show myself and obviously i'm not going to share anything uncomfortable, but i am willing to talk to people i barely know about lots of things that many would consider "oversharing"
What?? What a great trick!! YES!! Let's talk about ethics in photography!! (I've legit had people laugh in my face at the mere SUGGESTION that one ought not take pictures of someone without their permission. I studied this concept in undergrad as a photography student, but your average cell-phone-picture-snapper has literally never even thought about the ethics of their picture-taking. I can't believe "People of Walmart" was ever a thing.)
This is a really interesting topic. A friend was talking about how the ice-breaker card game We're Not Really Strangers could create an environment of performative vulnerability and a false sense of familiarity in kind of an inorganic way by gamifying it. I can see where she's coming from but I think that it can be fun, in the setting of friends or strangers interviewing each other as if you were interviewing a celebrity for a magazine. As can be seen from some of the examples in this video, I also feel like oversharing is prevalent in podcasts - the podcast hosts or guests might just be talking and not be really aware of what they're saying, or they could be saying something outrageous on purpose to try and go viral. So I think oversharing is incentivized in that way, because as Kuncan points out in the video, all comments are engagement.
I lovee we’re not really strangers. Honestly it depends on who you’re playing with. Its a good game to play with people you already know too because you can open up and ask each other things you never thought of or scared to ask. People you dont know really is fun obviously, but you may not be so open with your answers, so in that way I guess it can be performative, but also its just watching what you say around people you dont know forreal yet lol
i agree with your friend - but dont really mind the gamified and inorganic way it occurs. moreso I worry that especially with strangers, you may stumble across very sore and open emotional wounds when you create this kind of performative vulnerability. And beyond that, given that you are all strangers, will any of you be equipped to handle if that happens and someone is genuinely triggered. If none of you know the person well, are you able to de-escalate the situation appropriately? Of course, some people can and are trained to - but in this group, specifically, is there someone who can do that? And are we certain that there isnt a cruel person in the group who will identify this vulnerability to take advantage of or hold against this person?
it may be fun, but it isn't the most psychologically safe thing to do this in a group that you aren't familiar with.
of course I'm aware most of the cards aren't such deep and personal questions, and someone who might not want to open up will play the game very safely. but you can't be certain everyone is even aware of the can of worms that theyre carrying. And what do you do when you ask a stranger "when's the last time you truly felt understood" and their honest answer is "never" because they've only known abuse. or they may not even answer and just go silent because now theyre lost in their past, unable to identify such a moment.
i gotta put in my two cents on oversharing in that i think most of the things said to be oversharing kinda arent? esp when posted on a public platform like, i feel like oversharing is for personally identifying things that could end up with trouble. posting that you think (not conventionally fictional character) is hot rlly isnt oversharing. if someone asks a question and you reply, thats not oversharing. if you go to a strangers dms and tell them a whole story about how your moms aunts bosses friends dog ate a baby thats a bit much.
basically if someone can check out of the thing being shared its fine, yknow? bc at the end of the day its about comfort levels, and whats oversharing in one relationship could be totally different from another.
this is a good video. i really agree with a lot of what you've said. i've personally noticed that the idea of oversharing has been weaponised against me - i am chronically ill and it is obviously a massive element of my life, i go to doctors frequently, i am always in pain, and i can hardly leave my house. if you met me in real life, this would be one of the first things you notice. i use a wheelchair most of the time, and when i am not, i'm using crutches or a cane. i am visibly disabled. online, if i so much as mention being disabled, it is treated as oversharing, solely because people do not want to hear about and are uncomfortable with disabled people. and this isn't even exclusive to me sharing actual info on my health, i rarely do that because i'm aware of how people respond - i have literally been told i'm oversharing after just saying that i am disabled.
this is one of the reasons i am so cautious abt it. irl, if an ableist sees me in a wheelchair, they can avoid me or give me weird looks. online, people have no way of knowing until i say it myself, so that bigotry takes a different form: they shame me for talking about it and act like it is an unreasonable thing for me to mention, that way i stop talking about it.
"we all know way too much about each other" = "i don't want to hear that about you", and that can be a tool for bigotry, because ofc the ableist doesn't want to hear i am disabled. ofc the transphobe doesn't want to hear about hrt. ofc the xenophobe doesn't want to hear about customs of a foreign culture. it isn't always used in this context, but it can be used to silence minorities, which is worrying.
I think oversharing carries a lot of the same weight as “cringe”. It’s meant to label things as socially unacceptable, and I think certain things should be socially unacceptable, but it’s often just used to describe unconventional thoughts and/or behaviors that are harmless but stigmatized because of ableism, misogyny, queerphobia, etc. There’s also a point of privacy (don’t film others without their consent unless of course you’re worried about your safety) and safety for yourself.
Anyways I’m gonna go read Venom smut now.
Agree heavily. When the girls are the baseball game essentially got doxxed I was conflicted. Yes they were assholes and should have asked her to not record, but then again, if you're gonna record in a public space you should do it not around other people. Reporting them to their school's or whatever seemed a bit far to me
Great video. I think a difference between 'sharing' and 'oversharing' is how "acceptable"/mainstream the answer is. If you have an opinion that is in the minority, I feel like more times than not you would be considered to have 'overshared'. For an example: "That is not how I think about so-and-so, so you overshared."
I also think even with strangers in the background out of focus it depends on the video/situation. If someone isn’t in focus but something big happens with them and you can see that in the video ,even if small etc its more respectful to blur or cut out . If for example someone in the background trips and smashes their face into the concrete and you notice it while editing etc it feels more respectful to take out . We know how the internet works and ppl would focus on that incident and I personally wouldn’t be thrilled to know half the internet saw my pixelated self trip and eat concrete 😅
As an autistic person I've been filmed stimming on buses and it is so painful emotionally
My first videogame crush/gay awakening was Boswer. I’m not sorry and after watching the Mario movie I do not take it back
Bowser x Fembleh, 2kForever
It's actually scary the amount of people who feel comfortable sharing videos of strangers without their consent, makes me feel like not going out at all some days. And this goes for those street photography type artists as well like ASK FOR PERMISSION it isn't that difficult!!
Glad you talked about the filming strangers thing
The worst example of this is shit like r/publicfreakout capitalizing on filming people having an uncontrollable breakdown in public
My worst fear is something slipping one day and ending up on there because I have a panic attack in public.
Edit: I will clarify "worst fear" may seem like hyperbole...but no this is fucking up there
It makes me feel old to say this but all this makes me soooo glad I went though high school before social media became what it is today. We had MySpace but that was all about how you customized your page and who was in your top 8. I know angsty younger me would have overshared like crazy if I had TikTok back then. I also have no doubt some of the kids in the year ahead of me would have posted videos of the time they got a substitute teacher to lose it by making “your mama” jokes even after he told them his mom had died not too long before that. The whole situation was so messed up and I can’t imagine how much worse that would have been for him if he’d gone viral on top of it.
Same. I was a right hot mess in high school and I am so glad it was not immortalized on the internet.
I'd argue that filming a teacher being wholesome = "bad" too but that's just me. Like this could be an anecdote we do not need video evidence (especially if the teacher is unaware), either way just have a good time in your class idk... This is a topic that bugs me and it has genuinely become a crippling fear of mine for good reasons (not oversharing)
As a developing pianist it's a big surprise hearing that you know how to play! It's always fun to find musical people where you don't expect it!
I laughed out loud at your Jesus intermission
I feel like people are using social media as journals when they really shouldn't be. Not every hot take needs to be out there. Maybe get a physical journal and keep it under lock and key w/ a sign that says dont read for 30 years.
Commenting on this video so that I remember to come back and watch it because it looks interesting as hell but it’s currently 3:57am and I can’t handle this right now
the image of someone calling susan sarandon hot immediately followed by someone calling the animated spider voiced by susan sarandon hot is, for lack of a better term, sending me
the filming strangers phenomenon is so awful for autistic people especially. just bc someone seems "weird" does not mean they deserve public humiliation
Okay here’s my thing. The hear me out post isn’t over sharing. It’s a specific question being told to people to share; joke or not. People can choose to engage if they want and that’s why it’s not over sharing because it’s invited to be apart of it. “What if real life friends see it, is it over sharing” no because then you need better friends.
Oversharing is the concept of invited participation. People openly sharing intimate details of their lives that aren’t ours to be invited into. Even more, not everyone gets to be an active participant in that moment being shared. I’m not talking about is as an audience but when you look at someone blasting very detailed things about their s** lives it’s not only their information they are sharing but the other participants. Embarrassing stories or family drama- those are people who like when filming strangers are being excluded from the focus and forced to be a pawn for us in a way that becomes uncomfortable. Telling the event with a friend isn’t weird because they likely have some connection to those you are referring to, making it less a blast not only on them but a connection to understanding why certain things might have played out.
And similarly this is why oversharing with something traumatic can become uncomfortable because target audience ≠ audience. Even if even if it does it’s not everyone goal to be reminded of their own trauma, faults, and put into those uncomfortable dynamics even if the thing being shared isn’t intentionally aiming to do that. Now this can change depending on sites and algorithms which is why tiktok in a way has a much higher problem with oversharing as these details regarding personal matters has a chance to be picked up and pushed whereas something like youtube or tumblr you have to go looking to interact with these details of someone.
Filming stranger in public again is this oversharing as we are again forced to become a part of narratives and people lives both on media and real life that we never wanted to. As an audience it’s us cornered into dynamics we didn’t expect or want to be in. It’s not just sharing because it’s no longer us being invited to add in our own experiences on a base level, it’s unwanted information.
And so all of that kept in mind I think that’s why I see a clear difference, and not in a way that is in align with ‘cringe’
I know it may sound silly but you should try sticking your phone in a sock for recording! It will likely give you a better audio experience in general, Love you and the content!
In a sock??
@@hyalophorait makes a pop filter kinda effect- I remember doing this when I recorded sound on my DS lol
Lol the long hair thing where you had the images of jesus was hilarious
Also if you're not considering older sites like LiveJournal, you're missing the "over-sharing" full picture, at least in terms of over-sharing online.
I'm not sure if it's to the same point as yours, but I feel like little features of LJ and Dreamwidth made all the difference WRT allowing for soft boundaries, if that makes sense? Like the fact that you could have some journal entries friend-locked and others public, or even just the convention of putting sensitive entries behind a "read more" cut. There were friend-locked journal entries I technically had access to but didn't ever view because I didn't feel comfortable with that level of intimacy with that person. Privacy isn't just a matter of what info data-miners or bad actors can access- it's also a tool for building trust in interpersonal relationships. I worry that we're losing that aspect of relationship when sharing those sensitive or intimate details is incentivized on public platforms.
The first step to realizing you have a mommy issue is noticing your trend in crushes so you’re well on your way luv
your videos are the definition of safe space content duncan keep it up
its interesting to see this take cause ive always felt like the internet pressures us too much to overshare online for clout. ive only ever been comfortable sharing a lot of myself on tumblr bc its anonymous unless you choose to post urself, but also bc no one ever pressures me to share anything about myself. ive had a decent following on tumblr for a long time and no one ever actually pries into my life or wants more than what i post. i gained a following of about the same size on tiktok for one post going viral and people found my insta (that wasnt connected to my tiktok in any way and i didnt put my name on my tiktok) to ask why i dont post more. people said i was acting like i was an influencer and i was better than people for only posting silly thirst traps every now and then and not posting about myself. a friend of mine who has a much larger tiktok following than mine was going through some personal stuff so he wasnt posting as often, and people started messaging his ex girlfriend asking what was going on. obvi not everyone’s experiences are the same, but i really want to echo the sentiment you shared : each person gets to decide for themselves when sharing becomes oversharing. dont film ppl without asking, dont tell your friend’s or family’s personal drama for views, and dont feel entitled to any information from other people just bc they post on social media
just looking at duncan's face at all the venom's was sooo. i would love to see his live reaction to my dashboard on tumblr (and my dash is pretty tame by tumblr standards actually)
We have free speech, but it doesn’t mean insult whoever you want. We have guns, but you don’t shoot whoever you want.
*We have phones, but it doesn’t mean to film whoever you want*
A common argument is that cameras are already everywhere. However, cctvs aren’t blowing up my face on social media in a one sided conversation.
imo oversharing isn’t necessarily bad if it’s not doing harm. someone talking too much uninvited about how much they enjoyed a movie or what they had for lunch isn’t hurting anybody. but things like that grooming tweet at the beginning are harmful oversharing. topics like that can be deeply upsetting and need mutual agreement from everyone in the conversation to be okay to discuss. obviously that’s pretty hard with a post online, but that’s why we’ve got trigger warnings. “I’m going to be talking about this subject, be prepared to hear about it or scroll away if you aren’t” is kinda the best option when you’re not face to face and can’t really control whether someone will see your post.
my general rule is; if I wouldn’t say it to an acquaintance I won’t post it publicly. if a colleague and I were chatting and I randomly brought up my favourite colour, they might be confused and consider it a little self absorbed, but there’s no deep harm being done there. me suddenly bringing up my childhood traumas during small talk is entirely different - but both are oversharing
oh and also I guarantee if you had titled the video the original idea people would come and disagree. if you say “it’s wrong to film strangers without their consent” in a comment section, any comment section (as long as it’s pretty decently big and not a small niche group) people WILL mob you with “it’s legal!” “stop being sensitive!” “you’re just saying that because you’re cringe too 😂 don’t be weird and we won’t film!” I say this from experience. this probably isn’t the way to go but personally I’ve given up on fighting that at all. I used to always call it out and now I just report the videos if possible and block the poster
I feel like oversharing is when something deeply personal is shared without consent of 1. The people involved in the story or 2. When other people who didn't consent to be told this information.
Holy shit, this video was good, it took me way too long to connect the dots of the 2 subjects. Even after 160k subs your content is still genuine, unique and even more well planned than before. I'm the type of person that likes to be 100% anonymous online and I hate to even appear in a photo as background and I'd tilt if I was the center of focus of a video I didn't even know was being recorded.
I mentioned to a friend that I really like to leave comments on most of the things I engage with. For example, right now. And my friend seemed actually a little surprised and maybe thought it was kind of weird. But like, in my opinion, that's what the internet is for
"oversharing" isn't "sharing too much", its a term from mental health, its in reference to people being too open about their trauma unprompted due to repeat trauma (C-PTSD, BPD, autism and trauma) causing some to not understand the taboo of causally dropping traumatic info. It's a complex issue because traumatic experiences shouldn't be shunned from public life but lack of preparation for others.
"...their poetry: 'Giant knockers are my kryptonite'" 😂
Seeing a new Kuncan Dastner video on my dash is like seeing a little gift on my porch
i think my issue with oversharing is that many people overshare online because they want to go viral and get a lot of attention. if there wasnt this hope of getting clout out of it they would NEVER give that information out. so its not really done because they are comfortable with it, but because they are desperate for attention. it also kind of seems to take away the shame in front of irl people. if you got lots of likes and views who cares if people who know you irl think its weird. and im not saying that you should let judgy people dicate what you do, i just find it weird that the "positive" online consequences seem to be more important than the negative irl ones.
i also feel like many people really understand the difference between being annonymous and sharing shit they wouldnt want irl people to know vs doing it from their account with their name or face where their boss, parents and friends could potentially find it. on reddit people literally create new accounts when they share a situation that is very specific or sensitive because if they shared multiple stories about their relationships and life, irl people could figure out its them bc what are the chances of someone else having the exact same life? on twitter this doesnt seem to be a concern, people dont seem to be as aware of this tipping point between being annonymous and becoming recognizable from the amount of information shared.
i think we generally have a skewed idea of what type of information you can just casually share online. its cool that there are annonymous spaces online where people can share niche interests and discuss stuff they dont feel comfortable talking about with anyone irl. i just feel like many have a weird relationship with it. it doesnt feel natural, it feels exploitative and often careless and that whats concerning to me.
I disagree that oversharing something personal is always a good thing. like I'm not saying that there are things that you have to take to your grave, but there is a time, place and audience for specific conversations, and it can be actively harmful to disregard that.
Eg, having talks about your personal sex life with your boss or coworkers will be very much uncomfortable and bordering on workplace harassment and is at the very least, high inappropriate.
Not to mention that trauma dumping is a form of oversharing that is neither healthy to the sharer (as they are actually triggering themselves by sharing more than they are able to emotionally cope with and regulate), but also could potentially trigger the listener. Even if it doesn't, it puts a sudden responsibility on the listener to have to hear something heavy when they may not be mentally and emotionally prepared to take on that task - and may not be the right person to. Hearing a new acquaintance's trauma and having to comfort them isn't an inherently positive thing - it is a personal (over)sharing and expects something from someone whose boundaries and own triggers you may not already know.
And what about those who overshare their personal glorifying of unhealthy behaviour? like ed twitter (a community on twitter dedicated to reinforcing their own and each other's eating disorders). someone stumbling on this particular brand of oversharing and posits these unhealthy behaviours as something that they find good and glorify is for sure going to eventually reach and influence someone else into having the same mentality.
tl;dr: there are a LOT of ways in which oversharing (even when it is to do with your own private information and not anyone else's) can be harmful.
when I was volunteering with youths undergoing emotional hardships, something we were taught to identify if our sharing of personal information is warranted is:
1) have you known this person for very long?
2) what do you intend to achieve by sharing this?
3) how is this likely to affect the other person?
Oftentimes, the intention can be for connection with someone who may or may not be close to us already. But considering the potential impact it might have on the other person also reminds you that you may not receive the desired outcome, or you may put more stress on the listener that they may not be equipped to handle. of course, in volunteering, we were told not to share things that would shift the benefactor into the carer role but that doesnt apply here. still, i think it's important to consider these things to be considerate of others AND to protect yourself from harm
I think we share to little like what's your favourite colour, the first school you went to, your first address, your debit card number
underrated comment 🤣
Oversharing is just when someone shares something unpopular that most people don't like
Great vid!
I loved how Aioli was featured in the ad ❤
One of the reasons I quit teaching full time is because students are now allowed to film teachers during class. This is because teaching a class is considered a ''public space or event'' so you can film anything you see or hear in class.
Students already did that in secret before, but you could take away their phones. Now you can't.
I'm a very anxious person and sometimes I mess up my words or say something wrong in class but I correct myself later, but my biggest nightmare would be if some student caught my ''mistake'' on video, post it on social media and then I'll be seen as incompetent teacher.
Not to mention public humiliation by thousands of teenagers and their parents watching me make a fool of myself.
Dang it, can you stop digging holes and placing leaves over them? I keep falling into these traps!
Don't though honestly the plot twists are truly a kuncan classic. A klassic if you will.
loved this video! the editing and structure feels a little different and i'm with it 🫡
My favourite colour is grey :) we should mention our favourite colours more imo
yellow here ☀️
Aquamarine ❤
💛 Yellow 💛
My dad overshares way too much on his Facebook, dating app bio and just irl
i really really like your videos duncan, you give off such nice and heartwarming vibes, never change !!!
Banger of a video
Yippeee kuncan got a sponsor get that bag 🎉🎉🎉🎉
I adore your videos, it’s the serotonin boost I need in my life. It makes me happy there are people like you in the world of bhaddies and elons
I love you kuncan, you are so level headed and kind.
I love seeing how far you've come since I watched your first videos years ago, haha. You're such a lovely person. Would you consider adding a CZcams Members option (or whatever it is called)? I'd love to support you on here 🌼
your voice is very calming
It's always a good day when Duncan uploads!
Worst part of this video is having a crush on the other mother being a hot take. You’re all in denial she was FINE AS HELL
Loved the vid
I love your videos, the music you include is
excellent video i really appreciated your eminem cover at 7:05
Great video Kuncan! At 18:20 it remind me of parents who overshare everything about their kids without their consent because they are their parents. I don`t know, maybe I`m just oversharing here...
The oversharing I hate is people posting their abuse and trauma online. I just don't understand it. When I had tiktok I'd get soooo many videos of people geting abused and people trauma dumping out of nowhere. I didn't wanna see it and I always clicked not interested whenever I came across those videos and yet I still got them on my fyp. I get that there could be a desire to humiliate your abuser and expose them or to seek for guidance in online communities, but theres still something bothering me. Instead of seeking help from authorities or a therapist you rely on strangers online (which in my experience doesn't help and all that ends up happening is people fueling eachothers illnesses and enabling eachothers self-destructive behaviours).
At this point I feel like some of these people aren't even looking for help because it almost feels like people are competing with eachother on who's more traumatised. I say this because a lot of these videos seem wholesome at first (funny music, a caption like "my mom visiting my grandma in her final moments") and then some of the most fucked up shit ever (a picture of a coffin and a caption like "my grandma outlives her"). WHY??? Why does any of us need to see that???? Keep those jokes to your friends and family, not strangers on the internet.
This is all over the place but idc
Cool Story, Bro😊
I feel like too often, when someone is said to overshare, its really the person saying that about someone else expressing that they just don't care/aren't interested etc. In the vein of "idgaf so this doesnt need to exist" as if their judgment of the value of something is up to one person. Sometimes its oversharing, sometimes its just something you should move on from.
But THEN, on the other end, so much content has been based off of awful people sharing everything about their life online. I am guilty of watching that stuff when i am at my lowest and want an unhealthy way to feel better about myself (maybe thats oversharing lol) and it usually ends up hurting me. I think there is a very specific brand new kind of pain that comes with having access to a scale of trainwrecks and failure, abject squalor, completely reprehensible characters endlessly hurting those around them that we just haven't accessed before. It is awful to know these things are real and to have soooo many details readily available in such a direct way as that one person's post. Like i said, its mostly my fault for giving into my morbid curiosity, but i know im at least not the only one who seeks out stuff like that and im wondering when we will figure out how to cope with that, especially given the nature of the human mind to more readily remember the worst case scenarios.
Yes!!! Specifically to one of your final points, I feel like a lot of people have niche hobbies and interests that just go unnoticed because they don't think they will find common ground with people about it. People seriously need to share that stuff more!
Even I myself don't do this very much on placed where people I don't know well will see it, but maybe I should...
Anyways, great video.
i don't know how this is the first time im hearing you play the piano and drums? that's so cool dude
I love your chanel so much, Duncan. Everytime I end a video I feel so relaxed and motivated to do better... like, to do anything and just be a better person. Thank you!