Tom Segura SAVAGE Moments!

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  • čas pƙidĂĄn 14. 10. 2019
  • tom segura's most savage moments.
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Komentáƙe • 1K

  • @dankvideos4702
    @dankvideos4702  Pƙed 3 lety +59

    Don’t miss out on Charles Barkley ROASTING People Part 2! m.czcams.com/video/SQCHb4EUS_c/video.html

    • @eugenequentin441
      @eugenequentin441 Pƙed 2 lety +4

      i know I am kinda randomly asking but does anybody know of a good website to stream newly released series online?

    • @harryantonio3156
      @harryantonio3156 Pƙed 2 lety +1

      @Eugene Quentin meh I use Flixportal. You can find it through google:P -harry

    • @eugenequentin441
      @eugenequentin441 Pƙed 2 lety

      @Harry Antonio Thanks, I went there and it seems to work =) I really appreciate it!!

    • @harryantonio3156
      @harryantonio3156 Pƙed 2 lety

      @Eugene Quentin No problem =)

    • @beausneed9885
      @beausneed9885 Pƙed 2 lety

      The funniest part is when his wife slept with Theo von

  • @reeseorta3052
    @reeseorta3052 Pƙed 4 lety +5187

    Comedians going on morning talk shows is content for everybody except the people who would usually watch that said talk show

  • @EvilPanda187
    @EvilPanda187 Pƙed 3 lety +1743

    As a black man, Tom Segura speaking like a black man is one of the funniest bits I’ve ever come across. It’s like Russel Peters speaking Jamaican. It’s almost too real!

    • @iamchanman4041
      @iamchanman4041 Pƙed 3 lety +11

      IK Right

    • @patrickmclaughlin61
      @patrickmclaughlin61 Pƙed 2 lety +20

      His wherever Africa
      "Please do not yell in the casino."
      Brilliant.

    • @DangerousWordsPodcast
      @DangerousWordsPodcast Pƙed 2 lety +2

      I’m Going to guess that you do not vote democrat

    • @jgray1831
      @jgray1831 Pƙed 2 lety +11

      I just imagine some black dude watching that and then yelling the same thing in the same tone to his friend to get him to come see 😂😂

    • @bannequins
      @bannequins Pƙed 2 lety +7

      Your name is Leryan you didn’t need to announce you were black your name already tells us lol

  • @GulDukat479
    @GulDukat479 Pƙed 2 lety +167

    I love how all of Tom's morning show appearances are him trying his best to never be invited back to a morning show.

  • @TheFastballs
    @TheFastballs Pƙed 2 lety +859

    “Some people don’t know blue from black” 😂😂😂 I’m obsessed with the way he always sneaks those little jabs in like it’s nothing lol. His comedic timing is unmatched

    • @thingy2780
      @thingy2780 Pƙed rokem

      he is a part of the unfunny Rogan group- he should stick to baking bread

    • @TheFastballs
      @TheFastballs Pƙed rokem +20

      @@thingy2780 ok

    • @thingy2780
      @thingy2780 Pƙed rokem +1

      @@TheFastballs He will appear in Papi Gringo 2

    • @thirty3fpv
      @thirty3fpv Pƙed rokem +7

      “Your girlfriend will find out what time it is.” đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

    • @ayporos
      @ayporos Pƙed rokem +7

      @@thingy2780 We're all entitled to our opinions, even if some of them are wrong and dumb, like this one of yours is.

  • @naztetv8862
    @naztetv8862 Pƙed 3 lety +858

    4:10 His timing with that "Naaah I like em pure bred." is absolutely masterful.

    • @Flyinloww
      @Flyinloww Pƙed 3 lety +6

      That was one of the best for sure lmao

    • @GetMurcD
      @GetMurcD Pƙed 3 lety +11

      Yeah, he's a genius. Quickly mocking the absurdity of what she just said by taking it to the next level.

    • @tomthornton6040
      @tomthornton6040 Pƙed 2 lety +3

      I screamed dude

    • @laylaluann9541
      @laylaluann9541 Pƙed 2 lety +2

      I agree I think purebred is the best.

    • @DangerousWordsPodcast
      @DangerousWordsPodcast Pƙed 2 lety

      @@laylaluann9541 just the one breed though all of the others are obvious failures.

  • @vividstudios4316
    @vividstudios4316 Pƙed 3 lety +369

    “You telling me how sad you are was the best part of my week”

  • @andrewgalioto405
    @andrewgalioto405 Pƙed 2 lety +278

    That “Hungarian arms dealer” line catches me every time 😂

    • @Rudyelf1
      @Rudyelf1 Pƙed rokem +3

      Imagine me, I’ve been working on a deal to get Hungarian AMD-65 parts kits into the country. My ribs feel like I detached one from laughingz

  • @moritzkorsch9029
    @moritzkorsch9029 Pƙed 2 lety +143

    Telling the sad guy "you're the best, I love you" was amazingly real.

  • @ray55557
    @ray55557 Pƙed rokem +118

    The "some people dont know blue from black" line has to be one of the quickest and smartest come backs I have ever heard 😂

  • @mackenziekarsonovich1073
    @mackenziekarsonovich1073 Pƙed 4 lety +1358

    “Drugs are fun yeah” good god he’s hilarious.

    • @Avgslaveworker
      @Avgslaveworker Pƙed 3 lety +2

      Pr3ssPl4y she started laughing

    • @peytoncrawford6013
      @peytoncrawford6013 Pƙed rokem +1

      yo that line was so quick too

    • @0Bariq0
      @0Bariq0 Pƙed rokem

      Looking down the comments just to see if anyone quote it đŸ€Ł

  • @brianm4198
    @brianm4198 Pƙed 4 lety +1193

    "shout out to everybody all over the world doin they thing and stuff like that"

  • @drb2k580
    @drb2k580 Pƙed 2 lety +223

    Tom Segura proves that even psychopaths can have a functional place in society.

    • @jacobjorgenson9285
      @jacobjorgenson9285 Pƙed rokem +9

      Calling him functional is generous

    • @drb2k580
      @drb2k580 Pƙed rokem +1

      @Charles Arnold Ok. At least sociopath but we still love him. Lol.

    • @RK-ej1to
      @RK-ej1to Pƙed rokem +1

      Just gotta Focus them fucked up thoughts into something the whole family can enjoy.

    • @jaaxxone
      @jaaxxone Pƙed 11 měsĂ­ci

      @Charles Arnold You obviously are not a big fan of YMH podcast. Tom is very, VERY disturbed to put it lightly.

    • @joshhutchins6747
      @joshhutchins6747 Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci +1

      If Garth can do it, so can Tom

  • @drewcausey8441
    @drewcausey8441 Pƙed rokem +45

    “I overdosed on GHB, it’s the daterape drug but I gave it to myself” fucking lost it đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

  • @jarellano4395
    @jarellano4395 Pƙed 4 lety +1819

    Some people don't know blue from black.

    • @mattgaming8717
      @mattgaming8717 Pƙed 4 lety +40

      Thats where I died

    • @Gurthane
      @Gurthane Pƙed 4 lety +4

      @@mattgaming8717 Me too 😂

    • @yew2oob954
      @yew2oob954 Pƙed 4 lety +52

      It's pretty easy, just think of the following scenario: the police officer is the one wearing blue and the unarmed teenager he's shooting is black.

    • @butterphli3z
      @butterphli3z Pƙed 4 lety +3

      @@yew2oob954 wtf rofl

    • @avidlyathena
      @avidlyathena Pƙed 4 lety +1

      SAV-AGE-RY!

  • @NathanAdamsCars
    @NathanAdamsCars Pƙed 4 lety +518

    Yeah, they’re like “Drugs are fun. You’re right.” đŸ€Ł

  • @MrCTruck
    @MrCTruck Pƙed 2 lety +459

    The sad guy from KCL who sits in his house consumed with his sadness is one of the greatest people in local television ever. So self aware and a really good sport about it all. I wish him well, and hope he finds solemnity

  • @zachstiles9283
    @zachstiles9283 Pƙed 4 lety +106

    "Some people don't know blue from black"
    Complete savage

  • @bcvetkov8534
    @bcvetkov8534 Pƙed rokem +64

    I absolutely had no clue that Tom was on this many morning shows. I'm so happy that he made this many people uncomfortable on air. 😂😂😂

  • @chrismorris6982
    @chrismorris6982 Pƙed 2 lety +31

    “Shout out to the Bristol Stool Chart, I’m number 6”. I almost missed that one. Pure gold!đŸ€Ł

  • @TRUESEPH
    @TRUESEPH Pƙed 2 lety +37

    Dude the shit he’s letting loose on morning talk shows is LEGENDARY.

    • @klaytone6105
      @klaytone6105 Pƙed 2 lety +2

      Only gets better with time. Notice the “don’t mention my wife” clip?

  • @maddenus5023
    @maddenus5023 Pƙed 2 lety +37

    4:14 “You really mix it up?”
    “I like pure bread babies” 😂😂😂

  • @Peskyjooba
    @Peskyjooba Pƙed 2 lety +151

    Tom encouraging people to take drugs on morning news is hilarious

  • @chandlerwilkens8312
    @chandlerwilkens8312 Pƙed rokem +61

    The fact that Tom could get a back room laugh like he does on his podcast on a morning show is goat levels of comedian

  • @pyromen321
    @pyromen321 Pƙed 2 lety +30

    7:57 “soft blobs with clear-cut edges” is actually a direct quote of type 5 on the Bristol stool chart

  • @texasmadd47
    @texasmadd47 Pƙed 3 lety +50

    "I wear fur, cuz there's a saying... Happy hoes eat, sad hoes don't. And I try to stay happy!" đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

    • @ebsmith86
      @ebsmith86 Pƙed rokem +2

      I read this exactly as he was saying it

  • @five5105
    @five5105 Pƙed 4 lety +406

    As someone from Louisiana, I agree with Tom.

    • @daytonericson5299
      @daytonericson5299 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      Lake Charles bro

    • @shuneughu4244
      @shuneughu4244 Pƙed 4 lety +11

      I live in New Orleans and its a total dump nearly everywhere

    • @rx_jaydot7532
      @rx_jaydot7532 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      U not the only one from there u don't speak for everybody clown

    • @justinbenoit1820
      @justinbenoit1820 Pƙed 3 lety +5

      Same, the best part were all the Louisiana natives who got so butthurt. I thought it was great and I love Louisiana honestly...

    • @justinbridgez
      @justinbridgez Pƙed 3 lety

      Same.

  • @disturbedpyro4511
    @disturbedpyro4511 Pƙed 3 lety +37

    "Really? Mix it up, really? I like em purebred!"😂😂😂

  • @ryansegar7546
    @ryansegar7546 Pƙed 3 lety +60

    I LOST MY SHIT at “I like them purebred”

    • @laylaluann9541
      @laylaluann9541 Pƙed 2 lety

      What's wrong with pure bred. I think it makes a lot of sense

  • @Thrashaero
    @Thrashaero Pƙed 4 lety +440

    'some people don't know blue from black' :-O
    😆

    • @eibbor171
      @eibbor171 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      she shouldnt have been salty towards him saw that coming a mile away lol

    • @macberry4048
      @macberry4048 Pƙed 3 lety

      Dj dad mouth was born to kill dumb conversations like this

    • @jakkeday1
      @jakkeday1 Pƙed 3 lety

      Savage!!!

    • @mysteradio
      @mysteradio Pƙed 2 lety

      THAT was savage

  • @cameronwood7342
    @cameronwood7342 Pƙed rokem +33

    as a nurse, tom shouting out the bristol stool chart is the funniest thing to me.

  • @RickyCue
    @RickyCue Pƙed 4 lety +28

    8:50 "happy hoes eat and sad hoes don't" I died!! LOOL

  • @darsure3006
    @darsure3006 Pƙed 3 lety +21

    "THAT'S A ACE MAN!"
    I would instantly become a tennis fan.

  • @emosongsandreadalongs
    @emosongsandreadalongs Pƙed 3 lety +46

    I had never heard of his DJ Dadmouth persona before. What a brilliant response to being invited onto these shows that are clearly not his thing

  • @BipityBopity93
    @BipityBopity93 Pƙed 2 lety +35

    Brendan: that’s not a black guy!
    Everyone else: that’s spot on. 😂

  • @liftedlarry
    @liftedlarry Pƙed rokem +15

    tom talking about overdosing on a date rape drug on a morning show is wild 😂😂😂

  • @ryanstevens3932
    @ryanstevens3932 Pƙed 4 lety +139

    “They call me duct tape!”

  • @pattaccone5347
    @pattaccone5347 Pƙed rokem +7

    “I’ve been out here for a minute”
    The 48 hrs bit is gold

  • @jxavier3876
    @jxavier3876 Pƙed 4 lety +795

    Tom the type of person to steal a joke from a prisoner.

    • @zekedimblebee
      @zekedimblebee Pƙed 4 lety +95

      BIKES

    • @lsptnjpmc
      @lsptnjpmc Pƙed 3 lety +17

      Duct tape yo ass today

    • @lsptnjpmc
      @lsptnjpmc Pƙed 3 lety +13

      @Lonely Grandsouls I'm looking for hot black guys that love to fuck and fuck good

    • @youknow2849
      @youknow2849 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      @@lsptnjpmc i spoke the truth about covid and my comment got deleted, this stupid fuckin troll says that, an nothing....

    • @lsptnjpmc
      @lsptnjpmc Pƙed 3 lety +3

      @@youknow2849 thank you.

  • @ScummyThaBastard
    @ScummyThaBastard Pƙed 3 lety +87

    “I would throw away 20 white babies for one Asian baby” 😂😂😂

  • @BIGGELATO
    @BIGGELATO Pƙed 3 lety +23

    When he ruins the morning shows are the best 😂😂😂

  • @TydelicPurpality12
    @TydelicPurpality12 Pƙed 3 lety +27

    “Shoutout to the Bristol stool chart, I had number 5, that’s soft blobs w clear cut edges cause I need FIBER”

  • @Dog_in_tree
    @Dog_in_tree Pƙed 4 lety +61

    "I tower over you"
    "You could eat peanuts off my head?"

  • @mtippy6845
    @mtippy6845 Pƙed 2 lety +12

    "Some people don't know blue from black" Was sufficiently savage and great.

  • @christianbriody1566
    @christianbriody1566 Pƙed 5 měsĂ­ci +2

    That “some people don’t know blue from black” got me falling out my seat đŸ’€đŸ€Ł

  • @randith87
    @randith87 Pƙed 4 lety +18

    Wow. This dudes a trip, his stand up is hardcore. Make sure to watch it with the kids!

  • @moltenaura5418
    @moltenaura5418 Pƙed 2 lety +19

    "Some people don't know blue from black" god that caught me off guard. 5:30

  • @talllywhacker
    @talllywhacker Pƙed 3 lety +9

    “Yeah, your girl will figure out what time it is” lmao

  • @DJCrazyJimmy
    @DJCrazyJimmy Pƙed 4 lety +6

    thank you for the edits !

  • @TastyChevelle
    @TastyChevelle Pƙed 4 lety +84

    You got to leave some of the laughter in, man. Cutting the clip off immediately after the punch line completely robs us of the aftermath.

  • @josedtx7534
    @josedtx7534 Pƙed 4 lety +35

    Duct tape has me crying laughing 😂😂

  • @Gold63Beast
    @Gold63Beast Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci

    I NEEDED THIS!!! 😂😂😂😂

  • @VulkelN7
    @VulkelN7 Pƙed 3 lety +16

    Tom Segura is one of my favorite comedians of all time...the dude is funny as fuck

  • @jarretstockford6702
    @jarretstockford6702 Pƙed 3 lety +10

    Man DJ Dadmouth looks like Zach Galifaknis in the hangover lol

  • @iamalongusername
    @iamalongusername Pƙed 2 lety +4

    "Yeah, they're like drugs are fun, you're right" - lol

  • @iamlambandchicken
    @iamlambandchicken Pƙed 3 lety +11

    That Bristol Stool chart joke got me rolling..

  • @carmahfk7399
    @carmahfk7399 Pƙed 3 lety +7

    IM CRYING AT “THROATZILLA”

  • @filiporvik2782
    @filiporvik2782 Pƙed 4 lety +55

    yeah i mean, your girlfriend, she'll find out what time it is. xD Love this guy.

  • @buckfuddy489
    @buckfuddy489 Pƙed 4 lety +183

    Why didn't he say "SUP KANE!!!"

  • @rosepatterson9374
    @rosepatterson9374 Pƙed 2 lety +8

    "drugs are fun youre right" 😂

  • @jordanholliday9163
    @jordanholliday9163 Pƙed 4 lety +294

    Tom Segura is Zach Galifianakis' big brother
    Change my mind

  • @musicbymenickyoung7246
    @musicbymenickyoung7246 Pƙed 3 lety +15

    Never seen someone troll people so well! Bloody hilarious

  • @Inspiringami
    @Inspiringami Pƙed rokem +3

    Seeing Tom on regular TV shows with interviewers is THE BESTTTTT. He talks so nonchalantly and it's the best. Talking about his GHB overdose, "ppl can relate to you Tom" Tom says "yeah, drugs are the best!" And her face 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @OPAIK
    @OPAIK Pƙed 4 lety

    Thanks for this

  • @harmony331000
    @harmony331000 Pƙed 7 měsĂ­ci

    I’m glad I could bring you up with my down 😂😂, Tom loves that 😂

  • @TeddyBremmer
    @TeddyBremmer Pƙed 4 lety +11

    DJ DADMOUTH OUTCHAH đŸ”„đŸ”„đŸ”„

  • @gforcebreakin
    @gforcebreakin Pƙed 4 lety +21

    @8:30 "If ur looking for a house and u have money"

  • @CCitis
    @CCitis Pƙed rokem +2

    Had the privilege to see him live recently, it’s a good time

  • @J-J_du4nb
    @J-J_du4nb Pƙed 3 lety +6

    Once DJ Dad Mouth came onto the scene, I lost it 😂

  • @matthew0221
    @matthew0221 Pƙed 4 lety +69

    Damn, Callen's old dew makes him look old as hell, and very child creeper-like. Glad you got that changed up.

    • @buckast3907
      @buckast3907 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Matthew Wright he just came from a movie set I believe

    • @travisrios1212
      @travisrios1212 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      Yet another passive aggressive comment on CZcams. Yay.

    • @WN_Byers
      @WN_Byers Pƙed 4 lety +2

      @@travisrios1212 pipe down baldy

    • @TastyChevelle
      @TastyChevelle Pƙed 4 lety +2

      @@travisrios1212 It was pretty actively aggressive to me.

    • @matthew0221
      @matthew0221 Pƙed 4 lety

      @@buckast3907 Yeah, I didn't think about that lol. Was just shocked to see him that way...reminded me of my 6th grade haircut.

  • @artchurro1
    @artchurro1 Pƙed 4 lety +148

    Some people don't know blue from black.
    (Shocked Pikachu face) 😂😂😂

    • @faceplants2
      @faceplants2 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Some people repeat comments.

    • @artchurro1
      @artchurro1 Pƙed 4 lety

      @@faceplants2 hahaha I did 😂

  • @BrandonMYoung
    @BrandonMYoung Pƙed 2 lety

    It’s amazing to me that he’s invited on local news shows lol the best

  • @Boygonebad
    @Boygonebad Pƙed rokem +2

    Segura is always hilarious

  • @Wealthybaby
    @Wealthybaby Pƙed 4 lety +9

    “ Look at these poor disgusting poor pieces of trash” đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł I cant lie I’ve had this wave come over me. especially when I paid for first class.

  • @faceplants2
    @faceplants2 Pƙed 4 lety +87

    Tom Segura on morning shows or the local news is a recipe for perfection. So funny bc he could care less.

    • @jasonmcnally3514
      @jasonmcnally3514 Pƙed 3 lety +19

      Couldn’t*

    • @Coastfog
      @Coastfog Pƙed rokem +1

      @@jasonmcnally3514 No I think he's right, Tom knows he could care less, but it's hard to summon that amount of caring less on a regular basis.

  • @kissed_by_sunshine_10
    @kissed_by_sunshine_10 Pƙed 2 lety +1

    I love this dude! LOL

  • @kurtdread22
    @kurtdread22 Pƙed 2 lety +2

    Him roasting that Virginia Beach news lady is funny as hell

  • @BlueRedGooGoo
    @BlueRedGooGoo Pƙed 3 lety +9

    Telling someone that their girlfriend will "find out what time it is" is so savage.

  • @tylerdaniels383
    @tylerdaniels383 Pƙed 4 lety +78

    "S/O to Bristol stool chart, I had no. 5 today, cracked with clear cut edges cause I need FIBER"

    • @vetlerradio
      @vetlerradio Pƙed 4 lety +2

      holy shit, that's even more hilarious than what I thought he said!

  • @inchaoswetrust
    @inchaoswetrust Pƙed 3 lety

    Your sadness was hilarious...can't wait to use that one

  • @Jennifer-jy7pk
    @Jennifer-jy7pk Pƙed 4 lety +1

    Love him!!!

  • @emilpapis93
    @emilpapis93 Pƙed 3 lety +4

    Tom Segura's Bomber jacket game is so strong.
    I need to know dude, Segura hit me up!

  • @adamdrakestudio
    @adamdrakestudio Pƙed 4 lety +6

    Dont even need to be watching, just hearing this whilst I'm at the gym is too much and dangerous to be working out to. Giggling boi

  • @stevejones8550
    @stevejones8550 Pƙed rokem +2

    Bro... The "some people don't know blue from black"line hahahaha

  • @chriskirsten8221
    @chriskirsten8221 Pƙed rokem

    LOVE Tom Segura!!!!

  • @rob6027
    @rob6027 Pƙed 3 lety +4

    Shout out throatzilla đŸ€ŁđŸ‘đŸ‘đŸ‘

  • @carlosvids7473
    @carlosvids7473 Pƙed 4 lety +28

    “I’m gonna watch some more, but right now it hurts...”

  • @adamdickinson9639
    @adamdickinson9639 Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci

    So funny and it's really well cut together

  • @F4stHeroes
    @F4stHeroes Pƙed 3 lety +56

    As an extremely depressed person myself I can say that second clip is one of the funniest goddamn things I’ve ever heard

    • @F4stHeroes
      @F4stHeroes Pƙed rokem +3

      @Tim Long I was raised Christian but have borderline been an atheist for years now, what am I missing?

  • @johnnystirstick2284
    @johnnystirstick2284 Pƙed 4 lety +6

    Callen sprinkled some miracle grow on the mop

  • @grantmcquillan3325
    @grantmcquillan3325 Pƙed 4 lety +33

    Tom's black voice is blacker than black. It's amazing.

  • @annly666
    @annly666 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    this was hilarious :")

  • @forresthoward5868
    @forresthoward5868 Pƙed 2 lety +5

    Segura is the funniest comedian in the world right now!!

  • @marcop4845
    @marcop4845 Pƙed 4 lety +5

    Tom cures depression

  • @ddrlear
    @ddrlear Pƙed 2 lety +4

    "Some people don't know blue from black" lmfao how did I know that was coming

  • @BasicName02
    @BasicName02 Pƙed 2 lety +2

    I’m dying that he has no filter on these talk shows

  • @kryptonian5539
    @kryptonian5539 Pƙed rokem

    "Spencer..man yall WET!!" lol

  • @csgoat968
    @csgoat968 Pƙed 3 lety +3

    the fact he had the duct tapeđŸ€ŁđŸ’€

  • @QuantumBraced
    @QuantumBraced Pƙed 3 lety +11

    Why the heck would they have him on morning shows, don't they know what he does? đŸ€Ł

  • @gabegabe5672
    @gabegabe5672 Pƙed rokem

    What a compilation 👏 well done.